← Story Pirates
Story Pirates
Peter’s Picks: Family Room Wars/Now We're Cooking With Butter
00:19:17
Peter chooses some of his favorite stories from the Story Pirates archives.
Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:02]
Peter
Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners. Peter here. And I'm back with another pair of Peter's Picks. That's right. Once again, I'm here to choose two of my favorite stories from the Story Pirates archives. And today's selections are something special as they involve two of my favorite things. TV and butter. A whole lot of butter. Peter's picks are coming up after a few words for the grownups. I love storytelling. I'm very different from everybody. Confusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. We have to send that in. I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling. I believe all the things in my story. Human beings are just able to create the story Pirates. Welcome back to Peter's Picks. My first pick comes from all the way back in season three, and it's a story called Family Room Wars. Now, have you ever fought with somebody over control of the remote control for the tv? It can be a real battle, especially between siblings and cousins, for that control of the remote. And that battle can get intense. Real intense. You know, when I was growing up, we didn't have shows on demand. You had to watch the show when it was on, which meant whoever had control of the remote had real power. The author of this story really understood that feeling. They took it to a whole new level, and so did we. I love this story, and I think you will, too. And here's the author to introduce him. Hi, my name is Jackson. I'm 12 years old, and I live in Utah. This is my story. It's called Family Room Wars. Good morning. Morning. So nice having such a full house for the reunion. All the cousins get to see each other. They're growing up so fast. Where are the kids, anyway? Oh, you know, it's Saturday morning, so they're all watching cartoons. That's right. I just hope they're all getting along. When it comes to tv, my kids can get a territorial. Yes, that's exactly the word. I bet they're getting along great. You're probably right. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. Cousin Bill. I bring news. Silence. Cousin Jim, can you not see we have yet to reach a commercial break? Yes, but. And is it not said that whoever holds the remote is king of the family room? It is so, my liege. However, I bring word from the other siblings and cousins. They have invoked a meeting of the family room clans. But there hasn't been an official meeting of the clans since the great labor day cookout of 2012. It can only mean one thing. They mean to Usurp me, my lord. Fear not. The largest of them is not yet in fifth grade. They have not the strength to remove you from the throne of blankets. Of course you are right. Let them come. Assemble the clans. My liege, I present the Couch Potato Clan. Yeah. And their leader, Cousin Larry Cottonwood. Ah, Larry. How goes lacrosse? My mother tells me you made the traveling team this year. Spare me your small talk, Cousin Bill. Or should I say, Bill the unjust movie picker? I will tolerate your insolence only because our mothers are sisters and because you sent me those cool snap bracelets for my bar mitzvah. But watch your tongue, or I will change the channel to a documentary. You wouldn't dare. Try me. I'm in middle school now and am developing a taste for nonfiction. Gentlemen, please. Next, I present the Slacker Clan and their supreme leader, Cousin. Hey. Hello, Cousin. I see you got your braces off. That's gotta be exciting. It's okay. Why do you slackers even show up? You never seem to care what movie we watch. You know, honestly, I. You know, whatever. And from the Gamer Clan, Cousin Beep Beep Boop. Yay. Beep Beep Boop in the house. What's up, cuz? Ah, yes, Cousin Beep. I think we all know what you'd do if you had the remote. Play video games and not give anyone else a turn. Come on. We could do multiplayer. And from the Movers Clan, I present your little sister, Zigzag. Hey, big brother. Sis, can't you and your clan just sit still while we're watching the movie? You're constantly moving and it's crazy distracting. Mom says I'm a tactile learner. I gotta move. Oh, whatever. And finally, I present the leader of the Sleeper clan, Droopy the Passer Outer. Huh? What? Was I asleep? What did I miss in the movie? Who's that guy? How'd I get off the island? Did I miss lunch? Go back to sleep, Uncle Drew. Now that we are all met, I have but one question. Who called this gathering? Twas I, Larry Cottonwood, dear cousin, for this is a rebellion. We mean to take back that remote in the greatest form of family room combat. A pillow fight, My liege. Be wary of your glasses. Very well. If it must be war, then let's get on with it. Breakfast is soon, and I hear Moms making waffles. Jim, bring me my secret weapon. You can't mean. That's right. Dad's memory foam pillow. It never forgets. Just remember, Cousin Larry, because of you, we are all missing the movie. Couch potatoes. Hear my battle cry. Scream time. Support. Choking. Out of my way, Jim. I will not move. Then you'll face the wrath of my pillow. Hey yah. All the guitar. Your face. You'll never defeat me. The remote is mine. What remote? What remote? The remote for the tv. Which one? The remote in my hand. Right here, George. Now. Nick. Pillow Boomerang. Ha. The remote. He dropped the remote. What is going on in here? It is the mighty mom stopper of wars. Okay, everyone out. Breakfast is ready. No more screen time. Now. Come on. I made waffles. Uncle Drew. What? What happened? I thought you were watching them. Watching who? What? Oh, look, the movie. What about it? It's the end. We'll be back with another of my picks right after a few words. For the grownups, A new year means new opportunities. And if you've been thinking about starting your own business, let this be your sign to take the leap. Of course, this decision comes with a lot of questions like how do I get started? How do I come up with a brand? How do I sell stuff to people? What am I even going to sell? Well, if you have all those questions, you can take a deep breath because Shopify's got you. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open for business and get your first sale. With Shopify, you can get your store up and running easily with thousands of customizable templates. No coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop. Their powerful social media tools let you connect all your channels and create shoppable posts to help you sell everywhere people scroll. And Shopify makes it easy to manage all the details like shipping, taxes and payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff like growing your business. The best time to start your business is right now. And with Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. Established in 2025. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com realm all lowercase go to shopify.com realm to start selling with Shopify today. Shopify.com realm realm aren't adventurers supposed to have a specific purpose? What are you doing on this quest? Just meeting strangers? Yep. My purpose is to have no purpose, though I sort of find purpose as I go. My basket. It's missing. I have tried many means of defense, but none have yet proven successful. I just wish someone would succeed in getting that darn sword. I am under attack by this ruffian. I want to be big and strong and fight evil. I have hope that if you show up at her door, she might listen. Want to help me? Yell at them with your sword in a threatening manner. Side Questing is a fantasy podcast about avoiding the main plot. It follows Ryan, an adventurer who's willing to help just about anyone out as long as they're not being asked to deal with that scary wizard everyone keeps talking about. Subscribe today on your favorite podcast app. Welcome back. My second pick comes to us from season five, and it is a story called Now We're Cookin with Butter. I loved this story so much when I first read it. The joke was clear, the absurdity was high, and the amount of butter was unbelievable. This author wrote an incredible absurd cooking game show in which the only ingredient is. Well, I don't want to give it away, but you'll never guess. You'll never guess what the secret ingredient is. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. Now we're cooking with Butter. Hi, my name is Oliver. I'm 10 years old, I live in Pennsylvania, and this is my story. Now we're cooking with butter. We couldn't think of a concept for a show that could be better, so here it is. Now We're Cooking With Butter Show. Hello, all you butter lovers out there, and welcome back to Now We're Cooking with Butter show, the show where we just use butter. Before we meet this week's contestants, let's say hello to our judges. Judge number one, tell us, what are you hoping to see today? Well, host, I'm hoping our contestants just use butter. Well, that is the only requirement. So here's hoping. Let's say hello to our next judge. Judge number two, what will you be looking for from our contestants today? I'm mainly going to be judging their dishes based on whether or not they're made of butter. Makes sense. And finally, our third and final judge. La la la la. The singing one. I'm hoping to see lots of butter. Yeah. Oh, me too, lalala. Me too. All right, now it's time to bring out this week's contestants. As always, they have no idea what they're doing here, but they're about to find out. Let's bring out our chefs, Mark and Rachel. Whoa, whoa. What's happening? Is this a game show? I have the same questions. Welcome, chefs, to Now We're Cooking with Butter show. Today, you will be preparing a unique dish for our panel of judges. Oh, well, I am a chef, so this should be fun. Yeah. What a relief. The only rule is that you have to use butter. No that shouldn't be hard. I use butter in pretty much everything. Me too. In fact. And nothing else. I'm sorry, what? You have five minutes to complete your dish. Did you say only butter? We'll be right back. Do you love butter? Butter. Then you'll love butter. But how does it. Butter. It's easy. It's butter. I. Butter. Try some butter. You're eating butter. That's the butter. Butter. It's butter. Butter. It's butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. It's butter. Butter. And welcome back to Now We're Cooking with Butter Show. Let's check in with our contestants. Mark, how's your dish coming along? Well, I've only been given a few minutes to think, and I'm not sure if I really have an idea. Ooh, that buzzer means that time is up. What? Mark, please present your dish to the judges. Uh, okay, so I made a butter soup with butter vegetable, which is simply a bowl of melted butter next to some butter shaped like vegetables. Mm. Dude, I like all this butter texture. Yes, I know. All I had was butter. Hmm. Nice butter flavor, Mark. Again, all that I had to use in my fridge was butter. Yum. This is really good. La la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Butter. Okay, I gotta say, this is getting pretty annoying. Like, literally all you guys talk about is butter. Well, it certainly is butter. Next, let's check in with our other contestant, Rachel. Rachel, please present your dish for the judges. Uh, okay. I made butter cupcakes with butter sprinkles, which is just rounded blocks of butter with cold butter shavings on top. So it's butter. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Nice going with that butter flavor. Mwah. All I had at my station was butter texture. On the other hand. I'm joking. It's great butter texture. You know my station was only supplied with butter, right? These cupcakes are really sugary, Emma, that. I mean buttery. La la la. Again, same thing as that Mark guy. All I had was butter. All right, before we find out our scores, let's take another commercial break. We'll be right. Butter. Am I losing my mind? In a world of butter, butter, butter, butter. A butter will rise Butter, butter, butter to defend butter, butter, butter with butter. Butter. Oh, butter, butter, butter. From Butter Butter Productions. It's Butter the Butterer. Coming to a butter near you rated butter for butter. Butter, butter. And welcome back to Now We're Cooking with Butter Show. What is going on? Stop saying butter. Contestants, now it's time to find out your scores. La la, la, la, will you please tell us what was Mark's score? 25.6 out of 30. I don't. Oh, that actually sounds pretty good. And tell us, what was Rachel's score? 24.4 out of 30. Ooh, I'm sorry, Rachel. Butter luck. Next time, it was just butter. Well, folks, we've reached the end of the show. Okay, this is outrageous. I demand that you let us go. I still don't know how we got here, but we've had enough. And as always, both of our two contestants will receive a fantastic prize. Yeah. Let me guess. Butter. Yeah. $2,500. Yeah. That's what I. Wait, what? Until next time, this has been. Now we're cooking with butter shoes. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter, everybody. The end. Thanks for listening to Peter's picks. And a big thanks to today's authors, Jackson and Oliver. We'll be back later in the week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind.