
Have you ever had a very weird substitute teacher? How about a very weird substitute teacher who is a purple hot dog?
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Lee Overtree
Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners. Lee here. Have you ever had a weird substitute teacher? Well, how about a weird substitute teacher who is a purple hot dog? What? You have? Oh, well, then you're gonna love today's brand new story, Grown Ups. Guess what? You can get twice as many new stories on your feed this summer by subscribing to Story Pirates Creator Club. Plus, subscribers get the ad free version of the show, and premium members even get to participate in a quarterly video meetup with Lee and Peter where we create a brand new story for the podcast. But most of all, Creator Club members help us support the cost of the show so we can keep bringing it to you every single week. If you're already a Creator Club member, thank you so much. And if you'd like to join, you can do so by visiting storypirates.com creatorclub or by subscribing right in Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Today's brand new story plus another edition of Roll Call Live with Lee and Peter coming up next after a few words for the grownups.
Peter McNerney
I love storytelling. I'm very different from everybody. Confusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. We have to send that in. I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling. I believe all the things in my story. Human beings are just able to create the Story Pirates.
Lee Overtree
Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast. It's summertime, which means that we have an inordinate amount of stories about hot dogs. It's true. I think this is our third episode this summer that has hot dogs in it. Why, you ask? Because we love hot dog stories, especially when they're brilliantly written like this one. You're gonna hear right now. Here's the to introduce it.
Peter McNerney
Hi, I'm Clara. I'm nine years old and I live in Colorado. This is my story, Purple Hot Dog.
Clara
Good morning, Rebecca.
Peter McNerney
Oh, hey. Good morning, Andy.
Clara
Why are you finishing your homework now? Class is about to start.
Peter McNerney
I know. It's our teacher, Mr. Pants Face.
Clara
Mr. John Pants Face.
Peter McNerney
Mr. John Pantsface assigns too much homework. I can't get it all done in time. And if I don't finish before class, I might have to do an extra lesson. Oh, no.
Clara
You gotta finish your homework before the.
Peter McNerney
I didn't finish my homework. Mr. John Pantsface is going to teach me an extra lesson, and I'm tired of learning.
Principal
Good morning, class.
Rebecca Robles
Good morning, Mr. John.
Peter McNerney
Huh? Principal. Principal.
Principal
Good job. I am your principal. You passed today's pop I test. Get it? Kids, as your principal, it is My responsibility to make announcements. Your teacher is sick?
Peter McNerney
Yes. Oh.
Principal
I mean, he is sick because he. Well, there's no other way to say this. He took a bite from an uncooked hot dog.
Peter McNerney
Oh, no.
Principal
Today you get a substitute teacher. So give it up for Mr. Hot Dog. Mr. Hot Dog, get in here.
Peter McNerney
Please don't make me teach.
Principal
Oh, don't be so shy. As principal, it is my responsibility to drag you in here. Give it up for Mr.
Rebecca Robles
Hot Dog.
Peter McNerney
Please don't make me teach. I'm telling you, I'm the wrong guy. I'm not Mr. Hot Dog. I'm Purple Hot Dog. I'm not even friends with Mr. Hot Dog. We just get our mail mixed up sometimes.
Principal
Oh, Mr. Hot Dog.
Peter McNerney
Purple Hot Dog. Please, Principal, I'm not a teacher, and I never will be. But Mr. Hot Dog is. And if you'll just let me get in touch with him, I'm sure he could really use the work. The teaching work. The work that I don't know how to do. Please, Prince, Please.
Principal
Oh, well, have fun.
Lee Overtree
Phew.
Clara
Looks like you got lucky. Mr. Jon pants face isn't going to teach you an extra lesson. And from the looks of this guy, we might not even get the first one.
Peter McNerney
We'll see. I've heard that substitute teachers can be even stricter to establish their dominance over the class. This could all be a ruse to throw us off his scent. So what is this school thing? Never mind. Schoolato, sculata, espressa. Funky old sculata, espressa. Con recessa, recessa.
Clara
Oh, it's time for recess.
Peter McNerney
It's time for recess. Really?
Clara
Oh, no, Mr.
Rebecca Robles
Hot Dog. No, it's not.
Peter McNerney
Ah. Mustard. And again, I'm not Mr. Hot Dog. I'm Purple Hot Dog. Um, excuse me. Why exactly are you a sub? That's exactly my point, kid. I'm not a sub.
Clara
And by sub, you mean you're not our substitute teacher?
Peter McNerney
No, I mean I'm not a submarine sandwich. Which, depending on your definition of sandwich, I'm also not. Please, y', all, I can't be more clear. I'm not Mr. Hot Dog. I'm Purple Hot Dog. Ugh. Yeah, we get it. Gosh, this guy is so unprofessional.
Clara
Isn't that good? I thought you were tired of learning.
Peter McNerney
I thought so, too, but this is too far in the other direction. I'd prefer an actual teacher to this madness.
Clara
You are an odd kid.
Peter McNerney
Something you'd like to share with the class?
Clara
Oh, no. I mean, you're not allowed to wear a hat.
Peter McNerney
In school. Well, this is why I shouldn't be teaching. Now to take off my cowboy hat. What? It looks like someone took a bite out of your head. Well, someone did. What's the big deal? It's normal to take a bite out of a hot dog, even a purple one. But it's not normal to take a bite out of a teacher. Look, I just don't know what you want from me. Purple hot dog? Whoa. Where'd you get that detective outfit? I'll be the one asking questions here. Who took a bite out of you? I don't know. Some guy. I don't remember. I was somewhere else. Who? Okay, okay. It was. Oh, what was his name? Quit stalling. His name was John Pants Face. What? All I said was Jon pants face. It's Mr. Jon pants face and he is our teacher. Our teacher who is supposed to teach class today and save us from all your madness. I really don't think I'm the weird one in this scenario. Don't try to throw us off your scent. It's all becoming clear to me now. If Mr. Jon pants face is sick because he took a bite out of an uncle, and you are a hot dog that Mr. Jon Pantsface took a bite out of, answer me this. In front of this entire fourth grade class, Are you in fact an uncooked hot dog? Yes, I'm an uncooked purple hot dog. And you'll say that on record. I've been saying it.
Principal
I've heard all I need to hear. You're coming with us. Crossing guards take uncooked purple hot dog off the school premises permanently.
Peter McNerney
Thank you. I don't want to work here. Don't get too comfortable. Uncooked purple hot dog off school premises means we're going to help you cross the street. And before you cross the street with a crossing guard, well, let's just say you be looking both ways for a long time. No. Take him away. Yay.
Clara
That was amazing. How did you do that?
Peter McNerney
Someone had to be the adult in the room.
Principal
Oh, class, I'm so sorry this happened to you, but as principal, it is my responsibility to spin a disaster into a moral. Consider today an extra lesson in the dangers of pretending to be a teacher when you're not one.
Clara
It looks like you did get that extra lesson after all.
Peter McNerney
Oh, no. That's the last thing I wanted.
Clara
But you just spent this whole class period getting rid of a teacher because they didn't want to te.
Peter McNerney
That doesn't mean I want an extra lesson.
Clara
Sometimes I don't know how to be your friend.
Lee Overtree
The end.
Peter McNerney
We'll be right back after a few words for the grownups.
Lee Overtree
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Lee Overtree
And now it's time For Story Pirates Roll Call.
Peter McNerney
Send us your story. Send us.
Lee Overtree
Welcome back to Story Pirates Roll Call where we take stories written by kids and we read them and then we talk about them. I'm Lee.
Rebecca Robles
And I'm Peter.
Lee Overtree
Welcome to the show. Peter. Would you like to read today's first story for us?
Rebecca Robles
I would love to, Lee. Our first story comes to us today from a seven year old from Canada named Bihun. And Bi Hun's story is called Nice Mouse and grumpy Monster. Oh boy. Joshua was eating snacks on the table. Mummy, there is a monster in the microwave. Mummy opened and saw there is no monster. Joshua saw the green grumpy monster in the microwave. There was also a mouse who lived in the microwave. They both played soccer inside. Monster kicked the ball, then it hit the mouse's eye.
Lee Overtree
Ouch.
Rebecca Robles
Monster gave him a pirate eye patch. Joshua's watching the soccer match. He gave cheese to mouse and smarties to Monster. Mouse was not mean. Mouse played with monster. Monster gave eye patch to mouse. Both were nice and got prizes.
Lee Overtree
Wow.
Rebecca Robles
The end.
Lee Overtree
Incredible story behind. I have to say that all of this happening in the microwave is like slightly unnerving to me.
Rebecca Robles
Yeah, there's a sense of and unease, but also excitement.
Lee Overtree
So is this like a Calvin and Hob situation where Joshua can see what's in the microwave but his mom can't.
Rebecca Robles
Or is she's an adult and she wouldn't entertain such things. So she's not looking and she's not seeing the thing that is really happening.
Lee Overtree
I think that it is invisible to her, but it's really there. Which is very clear from the lines. If we. If I may refer to the text please. Joshua was eating snacks at the table. Mummy, there is a monster in the microwave. That's dialogue obviously. Mummy opened and saw there is no monster. Joshua saw the green grumpy monster in the microwave.
Rebecca Robles
You are 100% right.
Lee Overtree
It's definitely there. And I'm definitely again very unnerved by the microwave being the setting for this.
Rebecca Robles
Although I will say in the very end, if you are concerned at all, both were nice and got prizes.
Lee Overtree
That's true.
Rebecca Robles
Where did the prizes come from? I mean, they came from Joshua because he gave them Smarties and cheese.
Lee Overtree
Very nice set of prizes if you ask me. Bi Hun, thank you for this incredible story.
Rebecca Robles
Incredible. Lee, you want to read the next story?
Lee Overtree
I'd love to. By Edie, a six year old in Tennessee. Here is Double Dare. It was the witch. They bravely opened the door and they rushed in, peeking in and Then they walked in the door, not knowing that the witch was behind it. She grabbed the first kid, but the other two managed to escape. They came up with a plan. One of them rushed in, sneakily hid behind her cauldron, and the other hid by the door. And then as the witch was about to drop the kid in, they put their plan into action. The one behind the cauldron popped up, and then the witch was in so much shock that she fell over, dropping the first kid on the ground. The other kid who was behind the door helped the first one out, and they all ran out, shutting the door and locking it. And they did not look back until they were home. And all the same, they never double dared each other again. The end. Whoa.
Rebecca Robles
Okay, it definitely feels likely we're starting at the end of the story.
Lee Overtree
It's just great writing because Edie's starting, putting the needle on the record right where the action starts.
Peter McNerney
Yes.
Rebecca Robles
But I was gonna say, even though it feels like, oh, we're starting at the end, by the time we get to the end, I know the beginning of the story and the middle and the end. And somehow she has told that whole story.
Lee Overtree
It's called narrative efficiency. And Edie does an incredible job at it. I mean, these first three sentences.
Rebecca Robles
It was the witch.
Lee Overtree
They bravely opened the door and they rushed in.
Peter McNerney
Wow.
Lee Overtree
Like, wow. Dropping us right into the action.
Rebecca Robles
The one sentence that is still a little ambiguous, but in an exciting way is the very first sentence. It was the witch.
Lee Overtree
Yeah.
Rebecca Robles
There could be a lot of implied sentences right before.
Lee Overtree
Yeah.
Rebecca Robles
Like a horrible cackle came from behind the door.
Lee Overtree
Uh huh.
Peter McNerney
Uh huh.
Rebecca Robles
It was the witch.
Lee Overtree
Yeah, that's true. Or who would decorate their home like this?
Rebecca Robles
It was the witch. Or who's about to find themselves in a cauldron after messing with these kids. No, no, wrong tense. It was the witch.
Lee Overtree
Too much confidence in that. You know, I think something that makes this so exciting is that they don't know what they're doing. Although they do come up with a plan and put the plan into action, which I appreciate.
Rebecca Robles
These are smart kids.
Lee Overtree
Yeah, these are smart kids. Okay, I have a somewhat unrelated question. What is the actual definition of a double dare?
Rebecca Robles
So if you dare somebody to do something, you're challenging their sense of bravery, and you go, I dare you. Because if you say no, then you admit that you're cowardly. Right.
Lee Overtree
Okay. Or smart kids of the world.
Rebecca Robles
Right.
Lee Overtree
You're not cowardly. It's actually braver not to take the dare.
Rebecca Robles
Yes.
Lee Overtree
Okay, but what's A double dare.
Rebecca Robles
A double dare is getting even more immature about it. To go, I double dare you.
Lee Overtree
Is there more reward for a double dare than for a regular dare?
Rebecca Robles
Well, how does this make you feel? I dare you to do this thing versus I double dare you to do this thing.
Lee Overtree
Well, you're making a weird face both times. So I'm not like, I'm not feeling intimidated at all. Can you actually try to intimidate me right now?
Rebecca Robles
Okay.
Principal
Yeah.
Lee Overtree
Is this the hardest acting challenge you've ever received?
Rebecca Robles
Yes. Yes. I've never been less confident in my entire life.
Lee Overtree
All right, so double dare. Really? You're saying it holds no weight at all?
Rebecca Robles
It does if you let it.
Lee Overtree
Okay, final story, Peter.
Rebecca Robles
All right, here we go. Our final story. Lee comes to us from a 4 year old from Colorado named Gavin. And Gavin's story is called Pirate and Gold. This is how it really starts. We were on a ship, and on that ship was a treasure box. And in that treasure box was gold. Then we dug into the dirt on the ship and we found some pirate bones and a pirate hat. And we wanted to put them together. And when we put them together and they looked like a pirate, we put the hat on and the pirate came alive. And the bad guy, the ghost, was never seen again until that day, a long, long time ago. They were fighting the pirate and the ghost. The pirate found the gold that he hid. It wasn't every kind of gold. Inside was chocolate, and the chocolate was so cold, it lasted 300 days. And when he ate two pieces of chocolate, he got stronger every day. And soon he had a really good trap that nothing could get out of except good pirates. And when he saw the ghost again, he pulled the rope and trapped him. And when he trapped him, he did the same thing as the pirate and he was never seen again.
Lee Overtree
Wow. Another structural masterpiece.
Rebecca Robles
We sort of are present day where there's these people on a ship who found all this. And then the pirate gets put back together and the ghost. And then again, like you said, we go to the past and we have the origin story. But the thing that I think is cool is at the end of the story, when he trapped him, he did the same thing as the pirate and he was never scene again. I don't know if that's the past or we've jumped back to the future.
Lee Overtree
I'll admit I'm a little confused.
Rebecca Robles
I. I like to think that it happened in the past and it happened again now in the future.
Lee Overtree
Yeah, okay, I'll buy that. I just love the first line and one of, you know, teaching creative writing to kids. One of the lessons that we do a lot is how do you start your story? Right? Because once upon a time, let's be honest, it's played out.
Rebecca Robles
Yeah.
Lee Overtree
But this story and the last one, double Dare in this episode, both have incredible story starting lines. In the case of Gavin's story, the first line is, this is how it really starts. I love that.
Rebecca Robles
I love it. This implies that this is a story that everyone's been talking about, but you're getting the details wrong.
Lee Overtree
It's a legend and here's the truth behind it.
Rebecca Robles
You know why? Cause I was there.
Lee Overtree
Wow. It's so good, Gavin. Thank you for it. And a four year old. Wow. Yeah, Gavin, incredible story. Thanks to all of today's Roll Call authors. To read those stories for yourself, just go to storypirates.com and remember, you can watch an even longer version of roll call on StoryPirate's YouTube page with the help of your grown ups. Now it's time for you to write us a story. Because summertime is a a great time to write stories. Grown ups can submit stories@storypirates.com and remember, we respond to every single story we receive. That was Roll Call. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening and a big thanks to today's author, Clara. We'll be back next week with more brand new stories. Until then, stay creative and stay kind of. The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Roll Call themed by Andrew Barbado. Musical scoring by Eric Erson and Jack Mitchell. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. Purple Hot Dog was adapted by Tim Platt and features performances by Megan o', Neill, Alan Pierre, Rebecca Robles, Austin Sanders, Andy Schneeflock and Heather Woodward. Well, I think that's enough hot dog episodes for a while. We have certainly had enough hot dogs on the show, right? Hot dog?
Peter McNerney
Yes, I agree.
Lee Overtree
And what about you other hot dog? What do you think?
Peter McNerney
Definitely too many hot dog stories lately.
Lee Overtree
Well, I'm glad that we are all in agreement.
Podcast Information:
In the "Purple Hot Dog" episode, the Story Pirates delve into a whimsical tale that centers around an unusual substitute teacher—a literal purple hot dog. This episode is part of a summer-themed series, continuing the show's penchant for integrating quirky and imaginative elements into children's storytelling.
Plot Summary: The narrative unfolds in a fourth-grade classroom where the students are burdened with excessive homework from their regular teacher, Mr. John Pantsface. As class begins, an announcement is made that Mr. Pantsface is ill due to an unfortunate incident involving an uncooked hot dog. This leads to the introduction of the substitute teacher, who surprisingly turns out to be a sentient purple hot dog named Purple Hot Dog.
Key Events:
Notable Quotes:
Discussion & Insights: After the story, Lee and Peter engage in a lighthearted analysis of the plot. They highlight the humor derived from the absurdity of a hot dog acting as a teacher and appreciate the creative conflict between the students and the substitute.
Notable Commentary:
These exchanges underscore the playful nature of the story, emphasizing themes of misunderstanding and the value of honesty.
Following the main story, the Roll Call Live segment features three additional stories submitted by young authors. Each story is read aloud and followed by insightful commentary from Lee and Peter.
Plot Summary: Joshua discovers a green, grumpy monster living in his microwave, alongside a friendly mouse. They engage in a game of soccer inside the microwave. Despite an accidental injury, the monster and mouse develop a friendship, exchanging gifts—cheese for the mouse and Smarties for the monster. The story concludes with both characters being nice and receiving prizes.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion & Insights: Lee and Peter delve into the intriguing setting of the microwave, noting the blend of unease and excitement it introduces. They draw parallels to classic hidden-world stories like Calvin and Hobbes, where invisible characters coexist with the protagonist.
Notable Commentary:
This discussion highlights the balance between tension and resolution, showcasing Bihun's ability to craft a compelling narrative within a confined setting.
Plot Summary: The story features a confrontation with a witch. The children bravely enter the witch’s domain, face immediate danger, and devise a clever plan to outwit her. Through teamwork and quick thinking, they manage to trap the witch, ensuring she won’t trouble them again.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion & Insights: Lee and Peter commend Edie's narrative efficiency, noting how the story starts "right where the action starts," immediately immersing listeners in the confrontation. They appreciate Edie's ability to convey the entire arc of the story succinctly.
Notable Commentary:
The hosts emphasize the importance of starting a story with strong, engaging sentences, praising Edie for her effective storytelling technique.
Plot Summary: Gavin's story narrates the adventure of a pirate who discovers a treasure box containing gold on a ship. Upon reassembling pirate bones and a pirate hat found in the dirt, the pirate comes alive to confront a ghostly antagonist. The pirate's discovery of magical cold chocolate grants him strength, enabling him to trap the ghost permanently.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion & Insights: The hosts discuss the story's structure, appreciating how Gavin interweaves present actions with past events. They commend the imaginative elements, such as magical chocolate and the revival of pirate bones, which add depth to the adventure narrative.
Notable Commentary:
The discussion highlights Gavin's ability to create a captivating start that hooks the audience, demonstrating early mastery of storytelling techniques.
The "Purple Hot Dog" episode of Story Pirates showcases the boundless creativity of young writers, transforming their imaginative tales into engaging audio stories. Through humorous and adventurous narratives, the episode emphasizes themes of friendship, bravery, and ingenuity. The Roll Call segment further exemplifies the diverse storytelling talents of children, each story bringing its unique flavor to the podcast.
Notable Final Quotes:
These closing remarks add a humorous touch, acknowledging the episode's recurring hot dog motif while maintaining the show's playful spirit.
Production Credits:
For more stories and to submit your own, visit storypirates.com.