The Attack of the Dino Nuggets/The Case of the Missing Art

Summary

---

Story Pirates Podcast

Episode: The Attack of the Dino Nuggets/The Case of the Missing Art
Date: April 23, 2026
Principal Cast: Rolo, Baby with a Mustache, Lee, Magic Juice Box, Guest Kid Authors

---

Episode Overview

This lively episode of the Story Pirates Podcast spins two new stories written by kids into laugh-out-loud sketches and musical adventures. The first story, “The Attack of the Dino Nuggets” (by Zach, age 12) is a kitchen-table disaster that spirals into a superhero caper. The second feature, “The Case of the Missing Art” (by Nigel, age 9), is a twisty museum mystery involving gentleman thieves, bumbling security guards, and a dog detective named Sheriff Rex. Woven between the stories, a recurring sketch follows Rolo and Baby with a Mustache as they brainstorm bumper sticker ideas, leading to accidental internet fame and a heartfelt lesson about friendship and inspiration.

---

Table of Contents

• Bumper Sticker Mayhem & Friendship
• Story #1: The Attack of the Dino Nuggets
• Bumper Sticker Fiasco & Reconciliation
• Story #2: The Case of the Missing Art
• StoryLove: Discussion of Listener Stories
• Memorable Quotes
• Notable Timestamps

---

1. Bumper Sticker Mayhem & Friendship

[00:40-05:00]

• Rolo and Baby with a Mustache hang out in a parking lot, reading silly bumper stickers.
• Rolo unveils the “Dialogue to Design Machine,” which automatically turns spoken words into designs, stickers, and online posts.
• Baby with a Mustache suggests using the machine to create a bumper sticker for their land ship.
• Unbeknownst to Rolo, every bumper sticker suggestion is getting auto-posted and sold on his Bean Emporium blog, quickly gaining popularity among actual pirates and sailors.
• This subplot becomes the comic backbone of the episode, paralleling the themes of inspiration, credit, and collaboration.

Notable Quotes:

• "I wish we had one for our sh—something to give folks a chuckle when we drive by them." — Baby with a Mustache [01:19]
• "Every bumper sticker I've pitched has been designed, put up for sale, and they're selling like hot bean cakes." — Rolo [04:24]

---

2. Story #1: "The Attack of the Dino Nuggets" (Zach, 12, Colorado)

[05:01-11:44]

• Premise: Zach can’t resist magic mishaps at lunch. After repeatedly spilling his magic juice box on various animal-shaped foods, each time bringing them to life (“gummy bears,” “animal crackers,” “goldfish”), his dad tries to warn him.
• Today’s lunch: dino-shaped chicken nuggets. Despite promises not to spill, chaos erupts—magic juice animates the nuggets, which rapidly grow in size and terrorize the city.
• Zach and family escape to Mom’s secret lab, brew a potion to defeat the rampaging snacks, but the dog Benson accidentally becomes a flying, talking superdog. Together, they defeat the nuggets, save the city, and win the thanks of Mayor Banana Pants.
• Resolution: The magic juice box, after repeating the classic refrain "But I still can't move by myself. Don't ask me why.", finally accepts protective measures: “Ergo, my bro, I need to be in a cup with a lid. And that’s okay.” [11:29]

Memorable Moments:

• The recurring slapstick of food animals coming to life.
• Magical solutions gone awry (dog gains superpowers instead of defeating nuggets directly).
• The magic juice box’s personality: “Zach, bro, we keep spilling, my man. We keep causing animal-shaped food items to come to life. And we keep dragging our family into unnecessary emergencies." [11:14]
• Mayor Banana Pants: “Yes, it’s me, Mayor Banana Pants. It’s a family name.” [10:40]

---

3. Bumper Sticker Fiasco & Reconciliation

[11:44-23:30]

• Rolo achieves overnight success as a “boat bumper sticker mogul.”
• Baby with a Mustache feels neglected—she just wants their original idea (a land ship bumper sticker) finished.
• Rolo, distracted by attention and interviews with Sea Captains Quarterly and, nearly, The Mast (the most prestigious sailing magazine), ignores the original inspiration.
• After an argument, Rolo accidentally posts his gripes as bumper stickers due to the machine’s settings, publicly airing grievances against Baby with a Mustache.
• Realization and public embarrassment prompt an on-air apology and heartfelt reconciliation.
• Duo commits to finally brainstorming together (“Should we try to write one together?” “I’d like that.” [23:30])

Notable Quotes:

• "You're the one that's changed. I gotta get out of this parking lot. Every bumper with a sticker reminds me that my friend Riddle Rolo has forgotten all about me." — Baby with a Mustache [18:08]
• "I must have left the function on that connects my captain's log diary entries to print on the Bean Emporium website. That's exactly how the bumper stickers got printed in the first place." — Rolo [21:45]
• "If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be fulfilling my dream of talking to the Mast. I’m sorry, Baby with the Mustache. I let niche fame get into my bean.” — Rolo [22:20]
• "Still friends?" "Still friends." [23:20]

---

4. Story #2: "The Case of the Missing Art" (Nigel, 9, Washington D.C.)

[24:02-31:32]

• Premise: John, a hapless new security guard, is tasked with protecting the Mona Lisa. A “gentleman thief” bursts in, steals the art (via a nacho cheese pit), and is later revealed as the boss in disguise.
• Dog detective Sheriff Rex investigates, sniffs out clues (literally), and gets caught up in double-crosses, face masks, and liquid nitrogen freeze rays.
• Twist upon twist: everyone (John, the tour guide, even a jewelry store manager) keeps revealing themselves as undercover thieves—sometimes literally by just declaring so and removing a “mask.”
• The ultimate revelation: the “Devious Duo” have been plotting together, and almost every character is an accomplice in disguise.

Highlights & Humor:

• Layers of bumbling, comedic betrayals and double identities.
• The entire caper staged as part of a convoluted, never-ending heist.
• Self-referential gags about “spin class lasting 24 hours” [25:05] and nacho cheese pits as security features.

Kid Author Interview (Nigel & Lee, [31:40-35:07]):

• The guard’s twist villainy was always part of the plan: "Make it look like he's completely innocent, then he's completely evil at the end." — Nigel [32:03]
• The art thieves are called “The Devious Duo.” [32:51]
• Motivation for villainy: "Half genuine. Half part of the plan. For him, it actually is a little hard to make friends. ‘Cause when you're a robber, you gotta drop some people out of your life." — Nigel [33:08]
• Lee discusses the “antihero” concept and roots for Nigel's sympathetic thieves. Discussion of liquid nitrogen’s properties and the black market add a sly wink to kids' fascination with capers and science.

---

5. StoryLove: Listener Story Readings & Discussion

[35:17-45:39]

• Hosts Lee and Peter discuss and celebrate three listener-submitted stories:
  1. "The Unicorn that Puts Her Jammies On in the Night and in the Morning" (Eva, 5, Wisconsin)
     • Features a unicorn named Solanda, a pet spider named “One,” a floating truck, and a cat.
     • Discussion about the logic of friendship and surreal elements (“floating truck,” “paws not attached to body”).
  2. "Dirty Time!" (Liam, 8, Pennsylvania)
     • Asher’s town has everything turned to dirt—soap, water, toothpaste—by decree of an evil mayor.
     • Lee notes, “A lot of kids love to write about evil mayors with too much power.”
     • Peter shares real-life bird dirt bath trivia.
  3. "Mustard Ice Cream" (Calliope & Alaska, 9, Tennessee)
     • Jewel and her flying Catacorn search the universe for mustard ice cream after it sells out and the price skyrockets.
     • Comedic economics aside (“Is $100 cents $1 or $100?”), they steal ice cream on planet Mustopolis and get a tummy ache.
     • Discusses “if you work hard enough, you can get what you want…but that doesn’t mean you won’t get a tummy ache.” [45:26]

---

6. Final Memorable Quotes & Closing Segment

[48:05-48:43]

• After much collaboration, Rolo and Baby with a Mustache finally settle on a perfect bumper sticker for their land ship:
  • "Keep honking. I'm listening to the Story Pirates." [48:17]
• Classic Story Pirates meta-humor closes the show (“You’re going 35 in a 70.”)

---

7. Notable Timestamps

• Opening bumper sticker sketch: [00:40-05:00]
• ”The Attack of the Dino Nuggets”: [05:01-11:44]
• Bumper sticker mogul subplot intensifies: [11:44-23:30]
• ”The Case of the Missing Art”: [24:02-31:36]
• Kid author interview (Nigel): [31:40-35:07]
• StoryLove (Listener stories): [35:17-45:39]
• Final bumper sticker reveal & outro banter: [48:05-48:43]

---

8. Tone and Style

The episode overflows with wordplay, affectionate ribbing, layered references to kid logic and pop culture, and the signature Story Pirates mashup of slapstick, sincerity, and smart dialogue. The hosts keep things fast and silly, but always circle back to themes of friendship, creativity, and sharing credit.

---

For more, and to read all the stories featured, visit storypirates.com.

Transcript

[Rolo]

Lemonade.

[Lee]

Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners. Lee here on today's episode, Rolo and Baby with a Mustache make up a bunch of funny bumper stickers. You know, for cars or boats. Or boats that this season are operating more like cars. And of course, we have two brand new stories written by kids and more story love with Lee and Peter. And that's all coming up after a few few words for the grownups.

[Rolo]

Captain's Log Day. Unsure. Unknown Parking lot Infamy. The Story Pirates and I, Rolo, have taken a brief stop on our journey to Storyteller Con.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And my kid is an honor roll student in the candy aisle. That's funny.

[Zach]

Oh.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Oh. The Mothman ate my map. I. I don't get. Oh, wait, I still don't get it. But I like it.

[Rolo]

Baby with a Mustache, would you mind reading bumper stickers from random cars a little further away from me? I'm trying to use my new dialogue to design Machine.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Oh, sorry, Rolo. I love all these cool bumper stickers. And since all the other pirates went on a long day hike and we opted to stay behind to watch over the ship, I've got plenty of time to read them all. I wish we had one for our sh. Something to give folks a chuckle when we drive by them.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Huh?

[Rolo]

It does feel particularly off brand that we don't have a hilarious bumper sticker.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Right. Wait, what's a dialogue to Design Machine?

[Rolo]

Oh, it's this new thing I got because writing in the landship makes me queasy. You talk into the microphone here, and then it takes your words and prints them out into a beautiful design here. Say something into the microphone.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'd rather be combing my mustache.

[Rolo]

Okay. And then I push print here, and it prints out a beautiful design. Isn't that neat?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Super neat. Wow. My words look even better on paper.

[Rolo]

But it's not limited to just paper. Look, when I flip the switch, the program automatically connects to my Bean Emporium website so I can dialogue to design menus, update my daily specials, and share fun bean facts.

[Baby with a Mustache]

How elegant.

[Rolo]

And not only that, the machine can print temporary tattoos to do lists and stickers.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Stickers. Rolo, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

[Rolo]

That we should feature a frosted bean layer cake next month at the Bean Emporium?

[Baby with a Mustache]

No, that we should use your dialogued design to make a bumper sticker for the ship. What do you say?

[Rolo]

Let's do it. And so that you know I'm serious. Let me get that to you in writing. Here you go. Cool.

[Magic Juice Box]

I love Story Pirates. It Just filled me up with joy.

[Rolo]

My mom loves the jokes.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yo, yo, my check. It made me very proud about my sightings. So I was thinking, why don't I put a little twist in here? I definitely think I can be more creative now.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'm the champion.

[Magic Juice Box]

The Story Pirates.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast,

[Rolo]

everyone, where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Okay, Rolo, what's your next bumper sticker pitch?

[Rolo]

How about this one? Wait, I thought you were the tugboat.

[Magic Juice Box]

Hello.

[Baby with a Mustache]

That's like the 20th idea you've had. That's for a regular ship that goes on the water, not a land ship like ours.

[Rolo]

What can I say? I'm a pirate. First, you can take the sailor off of the sea. But that does not a land bumper sticker lubber make.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What's all that dinging coming from your dialogue to Design Machine?

[Rolo]

Oh, let me check. Sweet beans. I forgot to flip off the switch that connects my dialogue to Design Machine to my Bean Emporium website.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What does that mean?

[Rolo]

Every bumper sticker I've pitched has been designed, put up for sale, and they're selling like hot bean cakes.

[Baby with a Mustache]

How is that possible?

[Rolo]

A lot of sailors, pirates and stowaways follow my blog, Sailing the seven Beans on the Bean Emporium website. I guess they liked my bumper stickers. Here. Look at what yohoho23 said.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I never thought about putting a bumper sticker on my boat. Great idea, Rolo. There are a bunch more comments just like this.

[Rolo]

Well, before we read through all of these, should we listen to a kid's story first?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Sounds good. And here to introduce it is the author.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Hi, my name is Zach. I'm 12 years old and I live in Colorado. This is my story, the Attack of the Dino Nuggets.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Zach, come on down for lunch.

[Zach]

Here I am, dad.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Hey, are you forgetting something?

[Magic Juice Box]

Where's your magic juice box? Uh, yeah, he did forget me.

[Zach]

Sorry. Coming. Mjb.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

That boy.

[Magic Juice Box]

That's better. I may be a magic juice box, but I still can't move by myself. Don't ask me why.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Oh, my son and his magic juice box. Has there ever been a better duo?

[Zach]

Nope. What's for lunch, dad?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Your favorite dinosaur chicken nuggets.

[Rolo]

Rawr.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

Awesome.

[Zach]

No Benson. None for you, boy. These nuggets are for humans.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Now, before I hand you this plate of delicious chicken nuggets shaped like dinos, what is the number one rule in this house?

[Zach]

No spilling.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

No spilling of what?

[Zach]

No spilling magic juice on any animal shaped food items.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

That's Right. You remember what happened last time.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ooh, gummy bears.

[Zach]

Dibs.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Ugh.

[Magic Juice Box]

You knocked me over.

[Rolo]

Oh, no.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Or the time before that.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ooh, animal crackers.

[Zach]

Dibs.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Ugh.

[Magic Juice Box]

You knocked me over.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Oh, no.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Or the time before that.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ooh, goldfish jibs.

[Rolo]

Mmm.

[Magic Juice Box]

You knocked me over.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Okay, to be fair, that one wasn't too bad. But you get my point.

[Zach]

We get it, dad.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Magic juice box. I love having you around, but my son Zach always knocks you over. Maybe if we put you in a cup with a lid.

[Zach]

No, Dad. A cup with a lid? Never. What's next? Sunscreen at the beach?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

What? Yes. Every time. That's a terrible example.

[Zach]

Whatever. He won't spill again, I promise.

[Magic Juice Box]

You can trust us this time. Really?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

All right. Well, here are your dinosaur chicken nuggets. Now, I'm gonna go help your mother with the mulch in the backyard.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ooh, dino chicken nuggets.

[Zach]

Dibs.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Ugh.

[Magic Juice Box]

You knocked me over.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Oh, no.

[Magic Juice Box]

The dinos are growing 1 foot, 5ft, 20ft. Roughly 60ft, bruh. Their dino nugget mouths are dripping with ketchup.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Run to the backyard.

[Magic Juice Box]

No. Don't leave me behind. I can't move by myself. Don't ask me why.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Sorry.

[Zach]

My bad. Gotcha.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Come on.

[Rolo]

Mom.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Dad.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What is it, honey?

[Mom (Zach's story)]

And magic juice box.

[Zach]

The dino nuggets are chasing us.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

The house.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

It just burst through the wall.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Not again.

[Magic Juice Box]

I am so, so sorry, my main man. Daddy O.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Do not ever call me that.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

What do we do now?

[Zach]

I know. To the lab.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Son, your mother is a decorated biochemist. And her at home lab is reserved for studying the chemical and physical principles of living organisms.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

Aw, thank you, honey, but this is an emergency. To my lab.

[Magic Juice Box]

Wait. How are we gonna get past those dinos?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Benson.

[Zach]

Good boy, buddy. Wait. Did you bring me your dog bone? Great idea. Hey, dinos, fetch.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Now's our moment. Let's go back inside.

[Magic Juice Box]

Don't leave me behind. Remember, I am a magic juice box, but I cannot walk on my own. Do not ask me why.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

No one is asking.

[Magic Juice Box]

Well, would it hurt you to ask?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Come on.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

We made it.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

Now, everyone, put on your safety goggles. Mama's gonna make a potion.

[Baby with a Mustache]

A little splash here.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Oh.

[Baby with a Mustache]

A little dab. There.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

And done. We have our potion. Now let's make sure we don't knock this over.

[Zach]

Benson, you knocked the potion right out of Mom's hand.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

No.

[Rolo]

Don't drink it.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Look.

[Magic Juice Box]

Something is happening. Benson, a cape is growing out of his fur. And he's starting to fly. He's becoming super dog you can talk? I can do more than talk. I can fly. I can save the day.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And I can turn on the tv.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Breaking news. Giant dinosaur nuggets are attacking the city.

[Zach]

Let's go, Benson. It's time to save the city.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

I could fly us all there.

[Magic Juice Box]

I hope no one here is an anxious flier. Here's the thing about me, Benson. I'm a magic juice box. But I cannot move on my own.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Let's go.

[Magic Juice Box]

We made it to the center of the city.

[Rolo]

Whoa.

[Magic Juice Box]

Those dinos look scary.

[Rolo]

Whoa.

[Magic Juice Box]

Time to use my laser eyes. Not so fast, Super Dog attack.

[Rolo]

Run, Dino nuggets. The dog is eating us.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

The dinos are gone.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

You did it, Benson.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Yay.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

And look who's coming. It's the mayor.

[Rolo]

Yes, it's me, Mayor Banana Pants. It's a family name. Great job, Superdog.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

We all thank you for saving our

[Rolo]

city from the monstrous chicken nuggets.

[Magic Juice Box]

You're welcome.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I.

[Magic Juice Box]

Excuse me.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

I think it's time we go home.

[Magic Juice Box]

Wait. I have something to say.

[Zach]

What is it, mjb?

[Magic Juice Box]

I think that I'm ready to go in a cup.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

What?

[Magic Juice Box]

Zach, bro. We keep spilling, my man. We keep causing animal shaped food items to come to life. And we keep dragging our family into unnecessary emergencies. Think about it, King. If you kept falling off your bike, what would you wear?

[Zach]

A band aid?

[Magic Juice Box]

What?

[Baby with a Mustache]

No.

[Magic Juice Box]

A helmet.

[Zach]

Right? Yeah, a helmet. No, that's what I said. A helmet.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ergo, my bro, I need to be in a cup with a lid. And that's okay.

[Zach]

You're right. Let's go home, everyone. And hey, what's for dinner?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Pigs in a blanket.

[Zach]

Dibs.

[Magic Juice Box]

Don't ask me why. The end.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Ah, that was an incredible story. It transported me away from this somewhat uninspiring parking lot we've been hanging out in all day.

[Rolo]

I agree. Wow. Another boat bumper sticker sold. I gotta get this down in my diary on dialogue to design, so I remember how incredible this feels. Captain's log Day unsure. Location still unknown. Destination still infamy. But now infamy of a different kind. Uh, Rollo, I, Rolo, have invented bumper stickers for boats. And the wider water world loves them.

[Baby with a Mustache]

That's great, Rolo, but what about making a bumper sticker for the story Pirates in our ship?

[Rolo]

Oh, yeah, I promise I'll get to that soon, baby with a mustache. But I'm in the zone right now for watership stickers. Like, I have achieved flow and I need to follow it. Hey, wait.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What?

[Rolo]

That'd make a great boat bumper sticker.

[Lee]

Ha.

[Rolo]

Ha. Follow the flow. Looks like the sailors like it too.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I don't wanna get in your way, Rolo. I'm gonna go do a few laps around the parking lot so I can keep reading these super fun bumper stickers. I'll check back with you later.

[Rolo]

Okay, see you later. Awesome.

[Baby with a Mustache]

My other car is a haunted painting. Wow. So deep. Imagine world peas. Hilarious, but with a message. I just hope whatever Rolo comes up with is half as good as some of the bumper stickers I've been reading. It's been a few hours now. I wonder where he is.

[Rolo]

Baby with a mustache. Baby with a mustache, where are you? I have some amazing news.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'm over here, Rolo. Beside the Subaru. That's next to the other Subaru.

[Rolo]

There you are. I did it. I finally did it.

[Baby with a Mustache]

You came up with the perfect bumper sticker for the Land Ship.

[Rolo]

What? Oh, no. I'll get to that later, I promise.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Okay. What did you finally do?

[Rolo]

I got an interview with the Sea Captains Quarterly. Can you believe it?

[Baby with a Mustache]

That's great news.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Um, what.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What is Sea Captains Quarterly?

[Rolo]

It's the second largest magazine for sailors and sea captains.

[Baby with a Mustache]

That's incredible. Congratulations.

[Rolo]

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Not as cool as, say, the Mast wanting to interview me, but it's definitely a step in the right direction.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What's the Mast?

[Rolo]

The Mast is the best magazine for seafarers like me. If they would interview me, it would mean I had really done something incredible. I'm surprised you've never heard of the Mast. You're a pirate, too?

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'm not a real pirate like you, Rolo. I'm just a story pirate who is traveling the country in a land ship that still doesn't have a bumper sticker.

[Rolo]

I know, I know. I'll get to it. A call is coming through on my Dialogue to Design machine.

[Baby with a Mustache]

It's a phone, too, I guess.

[Rolo]

And the caller ID says SC Quarterly. Well, what do I do?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Answer it.

[Rolo]

Will you stick with me during the interview?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Of course. Rolo, I'm so excited for you and your big moment. Answer it.

[Rolo]

Ahoy. Ahoy. This is Rolo. Yes, hello, Sea Captains Quarterly. I'm thrilled to speak with you today. Yes, it's been a wonderful surprise, but people seem to love the boat bumper stickers. They've gone viral. My favorite one. Oh, I couldn't possibly pick. That would be like a parent picking a favorite child or a bean emporium owner picking a favorite bean. But I am particularly fond of my latest sticker. I break for waves.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Wouldn't I Break for wake. Be a little more fun. Cause it rhymes.

[Rolo]

Oh, wow. That's better. Baby with a mustache. Do you mind if I use that?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Go for it.

[Rolo]

Uh, hello? Are you there? Yeah, I meant I brake for wake. Pretty good, right? How did I come up with the idea for boat bumper stickers? You know, it's funny. Can't remember right now.

[Magic Juice Box]

What?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Rolo, the whole thing was an accident after I asked you to make a bumper sticker for the car.

[Rolo]

Oh, right. Let me just tell them real quick. And it was great talking to you. Bye bye now. Thanks for your help on that last bumper sticker, pal.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Ah, well, it's like that bumper sticker over there says, my other car is a hot air balloon.

[Rolo]

Absolutely.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Rolo, are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?

[Magic Juice Box]

For sure.

[Rolo]

But hold on a sec. I want to remember this moment forever. Captain's log. Day unsure. Location still unknown. Destination? Who cares? I just had an interview with Sea Captains Quarterly.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Rolo, I am really excited for you, but I'm feeling a little left out. Do you think we could take a few minutes and brainstorm some bumper stickers for the land ship together? Oh, just five minutes.

[Rolo]

I guess a few minutes couldn't hurt.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Awesome. Okay, let's free associate. I'll say a phrase and then you. You say the first word that comes to your mind just to knock the cobwebs out.

[Rolo]

Sounds good.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Okay, how about turn signal?

[Rolo]

Holy cow, it's the mast.

[Magic Juice Box]

Huh?

[Baby with a Mustache]

I don't get it. But no wrong answers in a brainstorm. Now you go.

[Rolo]

No, Baby with the mustache. It's the mast. The biggest magazine for sailors ever. They're calling me on my Dialogue to Design machine. Whoa.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Answer it.

[Rolo]

Ahoy. Ahoy. This is Rolo. You want to do an interview with me? Well, I'm pretty busy being a bumper sticker mogul and all, but I could probably squeeze you in. When are you thinking? Today at 3 o' clock is great. Talk to you then. Goodbye now. Did you hear that?

[Baby with a Mustache]

I sure did. And the good news is you'll have plenty of time before your interview to brainstorm bumper stickers.

[Rolo]

Oh, dear, I don't think I can. I've got way too much to do before then. I've got to prepare and write up more slogans and.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And do everything but create a bumper sticker for the story. Pirates.

[Rolo]

Listen, baby with a mustache, Things are different now.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And not for me. I'm still the baby with a mustache who wants a cool bumper sticker for our land ship. You're the one that's changed. I gotta get out of this parking lot. Every bumper with a sticker reminds me that my friend Riddle Rolo has forgotten all about me.

[Rolo]

Fine. Go on. I guess you can't handle the heat coming off a star like me.

[Magic Juice Box]

Oof.

[Rolo]

I'm so upset. Can't believe she would say those things to me. I got a vent to cool down. Luckily, I have my dialogue to design right here. Captain's Log Day unsure. Location still unknown. Distance. I am so frustrated with Baby with a Mustache. She thinks the whole bumper sticker world revolves around her. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't even want to be friends with Baby with a Mustache anymore. And that's not all I have to say.

[Zach (author introduction)]

We'll be right back after a few words for the grown ups.

[Rolo]

Captain's Log day unsure. Location still in this weird parking lot. Infamy thanks to the masked magazine which should be calling me at any moment. Just need to find a spot in the parking lot with the best recept. Oh, hello there, Baby with a mustache.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Oh, hello, Rolo. What are you doing in this far off corner of the parking lot?

[Rolo]

I'm looking for a spot that has good reception for my big interview that's about to happen.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Oh, of course. I should have known.

[Rolo]

What are you doing in this far off corner of the parking lot?

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'm admiring all the neat bumper stickers.

[Rolo]

Of course, I should have known.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Well, I should give you some space for your big interview.

[Rolo]

You don't want to hop on like you did with the last one that I break for wake slogan you came up with has been one of my best sellers.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'd like to help you out for your big moment, pal, but I think I might need an apology for that to happen.

[Rolo]

An apology for what?

[Baby with a Mustache]

For disregarding the one bumper that started it all.

[Rolo]

You want me to apologize for being successful?

[Baby with a Mustache]

No, Rolo, I'm proud of you and happy for you and all of your big boat bumper success. I just wish you could make time for the request that gave you the idea to create your empire.

[Rolo]

It's the Mast. I need to take this and I

[Baby with a Mustache]

need to move on. See you around.

[Rolo]

Hello? Oh, wait. I mean, ahoy hoy. This is Rollo. Wow. The honor is all mine. I've been a fan of the Mast for a long time. How did I start making boat bumper stickers? It's actually a funny story. My friend Baby with a mustache asked me to make a bumper sticker for a car, but since I'm a sailor, Everything I wrote was about boats. But I accidentally published all those drafts to my Bean Emporium page, and my boat bumper sticker empire was created. I agree. I owe a great deal of my success to Baby with a Mustache. What do you mean? Then why did I publish rude boat bumper stickers about her? I didn't do that. Well, could you send me a photo of what you're talking about? Okay, I'm looking at the file now. This says, I am so frustrated with Baby with a Mustache. And this one says, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't even want to be friends with Baby with a Mustache anymore. Oh, no. Let me open these. This one says, who does Baby with a Mustache think she is anyway? And this one, Baby with a Mustache looks more like Mustache with a Baby. That thing is huge. And last but not least, Baby with the Mustache is acting like a goose. Oh, no. I can explain what happened. I must have left the function on. That connects my captain's log diary entries to print on the Bean Emporium website. That's exactly how the bumper stickers got printed in the first place.

[Magic Juice Box]

Of course.

[Rolo]

Of course it was an accident. I don't really mean these things about Baby with a Mustache. She's my friend. We just went through a rough patch. What do I actually think about her? She's a good friend who helped me through my first big interview. She had the patience to put up with me when I threw her simple request for a bumper sticker to the side. And if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be fulfilling my dream of talking to the mass. I'm sorry, Baby with the Mustache. I let niche fame get into my bean. Look, I'm sure you have more questions, but can we reschedule? There's something I need to do right away. Now to go find Baby with a Mustache and apologize.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'm right here, Rolo.

[Rolo]

Baby with a Mustache. You stayed behind to support me during my big interview after all.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Uh, no. I got lost and ended up in the same spot I just left. There are a lot of Subarus in this parking lot.

[Rolo]

A lot.

[Baby with a Mustache]

But I heard what you said to the mast. I'm sorry we got into an argument over something so silly. I should have just let you enjoy your success.

[Rolo]

You did. But me suddenly getting so popular with actual pirates shouldn't mean that I abandoned creating something beautiful and meaningful for the story. Pirates. I apologize.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Apology accepted. Still friends?

[Rolo]

Still friends. Now, what are we gonna do about this bumper sticker?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Should we try to write one together.

[Rolo]

I'd like that.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Okay, how about Baby with a Mustache on board? That may be a little Baby with a Mustache Focused.

[Rolo]

Or what about don't ask where I'm going, ask where I've been. Maybe that's a little too much about beans.

[Baby with a Mustache]

I pull over for full diapers.

[Rolo]

No. My other car is also a boat.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Getting closer, but still not quite there.

[Rolo]

While we brainstorm some more, should we do our last story?

[Baby with a Mustache]

Sounds good. And here to introduce it is the author.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Hi, I'm Nigel. I am 9 years old and I live in Washington D.C. and this is my story, the Case of the Missing Art.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Can't be Late and made it 2pm right on time for my new job. I'd hate to get fired my first day as a security guard. Oh, here comes a tour group.

[Baby with a Mustache]

On the right we have some art.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

I really like the colors I couldn't contrast.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And on the left we have a guard on his first day.

[Lee]

Wow.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

Okay.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

That guard is really unique.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Thanks friends. Enjoy your day.

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

Guard. There you are.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Heya, boss. Beautiful day, isn't it?

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

Listen up, guard.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

It's John, actually.

[Rolo]

Great guard.

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

Today you have one job. Protect the most famous painting in the entire world. Leonardo Da Vinci's Dogs Pokey Mona Lisa.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Right. Sorry. The Mona Lisa.

[Rolo]

That's right.

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

And nothing bad better happen to the Mona Lisa or your fired. Now if you need me, I'll be at spin class for the next 24 hours.

[Rolo]

Goodbye, Elfie.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Boss. Healthy life. Can't believe I have to protect the Mona Lisa. I hope nothing bad happens.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

Did someone say I hope nothing bad happens?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Is this part of the museum?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Excuse me, person dressed like a gentleman thief breaking into a museum by crashing through a window. Who are you and what are you doing here?

[Mom (Zach's story)]

I'm a gentleman thief breaking into this museum by crashing through a window. I'm here to steal all your paintings, including the Mona Lisa.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

You've got this card, I mean John, to a group. Get out of here.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

I'm here to take all of your best paintings. This Picasso, this Kandinsky painted on both sides. And this painting of dogs playing poker.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Not the dogs.

[Baby with a Mustache]

That's it.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

I can't get fired. Thief. I'm gonna run over there and stop you. And nothing will stop me. Here I come.

[Rolo]

Huh?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

I'm stopped in a pit of nacho cheese in the middle of the museum. How did I not say this? Thief. Did you put this pit of nacho cheese here?

[Mom (Zach's story)]

Nacho business. Catch ya later, chip.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

My name is John.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

You sure look like a chip to Me, Cheesehead. Oh, one last thing. I'll take that.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

The Mona Lisa.

[Baby with a Mustache]

No.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ha ha.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

You'll never, never catch me, Chip the Cheese Head.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

I'm stuck in nacho cheese and no one's here to help me out. Nothing to do but hope a new character enters the story to save me or I'm fired.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Hello.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Hello.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

I'm the local dog detective, Sheriff Rex. I'm paying a visit to the museum because I heard 90% of your art was stolen.

[Rolo]

Hmph.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

No answer. Better sniff for clues.

[Rolo]

What's this?

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

A nacho cheese pit in the museum with a person in it. Your mouth is covered in nacho cheese.

[Zach]

Wow.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

You just licked the cheese off my face.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

It's fine. I'm a dog.

[Rolo]

Bark.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Now, who are you and what happened here?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

I'm the new guard here at the museum. My job was to make sure no one stole any art. There was a gentleman thief and he stole 90% of all the art, including the Mona Lisa.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

As the only dog sheriff in this part of town, I have to say I'm stumped on how to catch this guy.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

But we have to. My boss will fire me if he finds all the paintings are gone when he comes back from spin class.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Most spin classes take over 24 hours, so he could be back any minute. This doesn't look good.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

But I have a plan and I need your help first.

[Rolo]

Uh huh.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah.

[Rolo]

Oh. Oh.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

That's genius.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

It's the perfect plan. So long as my boss doesn't come back all of a sudden.

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

I'm back all of a sudden.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Oh no.

[Rolo]

Whaaaa?

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

No paintings? No Kandinskis painted on both sides? No. The Mona Lisas. Dog Sheriff. Thank goodness you're here. You must fire this guard. He is responsible for stealing the Mona Lisa.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

I don't have hiring and firing privileges, but if I did, I'd fire you, museum boss.

[Rolo]

Me?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

For what?

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

For sealing the Mona Lisa.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

He did.

[Lee]

What do you mean?

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

I couldn't be the thief I was at spin class.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Everyone knows that gentleman thieves and museum bosses bike along the French Riviera, not in a friendly gym setting with other young professionals.

[Boss (Nigel's story)]

A dret. You found me out. May as well take off my mask.

[Mom (Zach's story)]

C' est moi. I assumed the disguise of a museum boss so that I could steal the Mona Lisa. And why, you may ask? I only did it because I wanted attention and to make new friends.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

That's no excuse, but I get how hard it is to make new friends.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

You do you understand?

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Yes. You see, when I moved to town, I was the Loneliest dog Sheriff ever. But then I met some other dogs and we became friends. Now we meet every Friday to play poker together. You should play with us sometime.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

He'd love to, Sheriff Rex, but he's gonna be busy.

[Rolo]

With what?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

With escaping from your clutches.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

What's happening? Why is it so cold in here

[Dad (Zach's story)]

all of a sudden?

[Rolo]

Guard.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

You froze me with liquid nitrogen.

[Magic Juice Box]

Why?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Because I'm also a thief.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Did you just take off a mask to reveal the same face?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

I sure did.

[Lee]

Why?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Because the boss. I mean thief. And I decided to go deep undercover to steal the Mona Lisa. What a twist.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And on the left, you'll see a nacho cheese pit.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Ooh.

[Lee]

Tour guide with a tour group.

[Rolo]

What are you doing here?

[Baby with a Mustache]

I'm here because I'm also a thief.

[Rolo]

The tour guide is also a thief in a mask. And we are, ha ha, Also thieves.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

I'm so confused.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

And I'm not just the jewelry store manager. I'm also your brother. Huh?

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

I'm sorry, who are you?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

A gentleman thief posing undercover to rob my sister's jewelry store.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

This is a museum. The jewelry store is right next door.

[Lee]

Oh, sorry. Whoops.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

My bad. Bye bye.

[Magic Juice Box]

Ha ha.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

This is confusing.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Sheriff Rex, we'd love to stay and chat, but we simply must get to spin class.

[Baby with a Mustache]

What?

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

The art thieves strike again.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Why wouldn't they use the door? Well, another terrible and confusing day here at the museum.

[Rolo]

Bark. The end.

[Baby with a Mustache]

And now Lee speaks with the author.

[Lee]

So, Nigel, you wrote the case of the missing art?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yes.

[Lee]

I love the twist in your story.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep. Last part where the security guard turns out to be evil.

[Lee]

That's right. I was so surprised when I saw that. Was the guard in on this from the very beginning?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yes.

[Lee]

Tell me about that.

[Zach (author introduction)]

So I was thinking, why don't I put a little twist in here? Like, make it look like he's completely innocent, then he's completely evil at the end.

[Lee]

Have these guys been working together for a long time? They seem like pros?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep. One day they saw, like, a robbery on the news, so they just think, that looks fun. Let's do that for a living. And that's what they did. So on and so on.

[Lee]

And was the guard already working at the museum at this point?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep. Whole ploy just to get them to trust.

[Lee]

So sneaky. You know, like, sometimes a gang of thieves like this will give themselves, like, a cool name to sort of refer to themselves in the press or in newspapers or, you know, these two guys, do they sort of have, like, a name?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep. The Devious Duo.

[Lee]

The Devious duo. Incredible. What about the part where the thief is confessing and is sort of tearing up over how hard it is to make new friends? Was that like a genuine thing the thief was saying, or was it part of the plan?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Half genuine. Half part of the plan for him. It actually is a little hard to make friends. Cause when you're a robber, you gotta drop some people out of your life. Cause you don't want people telling others that you're a thief.

[Lee]

Do you think that the guard and the thief are friends, though?

[Rolo]

Yeah.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Cause you really gotta like someone to be, like, just with them for, like, that long.

[Lee]

It makes me feel better that they at least have one person in their lives that they can be honest with.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep. That was my idea.

[Lee]

You know, in a lot of stories, like, the thiefs are the bad guys, and in your story, I kind of get the feeling like I'm supposed to be rooting for the thieves. Is that true or am I reading it incorrectly?

[Zach (author introduction)]

That is true. So when I was like little, I would always root for the bad guys, then be disappointed when they lost.

[Lee]

There is a word for a character like that. Have you ever heard of the word antihero?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep, Pretty much someone who is against heroes and likes villains.

[Lee]

Yeah. And someone that we, like end up rooting for in a story even though they're doing bad things. Wait, I have one more question. Can you tell any listeners who might not know what liquid nitrogen is and how it works?

[Zach (author introduction)]

Liquid nitrogen is pretty much liquid ice, but it freezes way faster. It's also much colder and harder.

[Lee]

Is it easy to get your hands on liquid nitrogen?

[Zach (author introduction)]

No, not at all.

[Lee]

The devious duo must have some kind of connection where they can get it.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Yep. The black market.

[Lee]

Can you describe what the black market is? For anyone that doesn't know, it's kind

[Zach (author introduction)]

of like any market you go to, except they do not sell food.

[Lee]

Wow. You know a lot about this stuff, Nigel.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Thank you. Thanks for talking to me.

[Lee]

You're so welcome. Thanks for talking to me and thanks for letting us perform your story. Bye, Nigel.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Bye. We'll be right back after a few words from the grown ups.

[Lee]

Hey there. Welcome to StoryLove, where we read stories written by kids and then we talk about them. Hey, Peter.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Hello, Lee.

[Lee]

You know the story Pirates? We get tens of thousands of stories a year. Some of those stories we get to put on our podcast. We respond to every single one of them. We sure do. And some of them we talk about on this segment. Story love.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Let's do that now.

[Lee]

Okay, Peter. Why don't you read first?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

All right, Lee. Our first story comes to us from a 5 year old from Wisconsin named Eva. And Eva's story is called the unicorn that puts her jammies on in the night and in the morning. Once upon a time, there was a unicorn named Solanda.

[Lee]

Great name.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Solanda put her jammies on in the morning and in the night. Solanda woke up and saw a spider in her house.

[Lee]

Uh oh.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

She got a bug and she fed it to the spider.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Oh.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Now the spider was her pet. She named the spider one,

[Lee]

but she writes it out.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

O N E. Solanda was playing outside with her spider when she saw a truck floating. Then she saw a cat. Salanda knew cats like fish, so she caught one for her. Now the cat was spider's friend too. And then it says love story pirates.

[Lee]

And there's an amazing picture of. Is that the cat?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Oh, that's the cat.

[Lee]

That's the cat.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's got very big paws and no limbs attaching the paws to the rest of the cat.

[Lee]

Extremely sharp claws.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

Yeah.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

But a nice little smile.

[Lee]

Nice smile. Great cat. Amazing story. Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here. First of all, one is an amazing name for a spider.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

That spider is not the one. That spider is 1:1.

[Lee]

I'm so glad that the spider is not like too scary in this story.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Not at all.

[Lee]

You know, in my house we call spiders community helpers.

[Zach]

Ah.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Because they eat other bugs.

[Lee]

I guess it's just like a nice thing to call someone. The other thing that. There's two other things that I want to talk about. First of all, floating truck.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah.

[Lee]

What's going on with floating truck?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's has not been explained to us.

[Lee]

Zero explanation. Floating truck.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's what it is.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

It does.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Offloading truck. Then she saw a cat. And the cat is more interesting than the floating truck.

[Lee]

It tells me something about the world.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Right.

[Lee]

That it's. It doesn't seem exceptional that there is a floating truck. It's just sort of stated in passing.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

You know what? I think there's something up with gravity in this world. Because if you look at the picture of the cat, its paws are not attached to its body, but they seem to be connected through some sort of force.

[Lee]

There's like balloons. Yeah.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah.

[Lee]

Interesting. I also love what I will refer to as the twist in this story where I thought that the reveal was going to be that the cat would be friends with Salanda because Salanda fed the cat.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah.

[Lee]

You know, when Salanda feeds the spider, the spider becomes friends with Salanda, but when Salanda feeds the cat, the cat becomes friends not with Salanda, but the spider.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Oh, that's interesting. I just assumed that the cat was not only friends with Salanda, but also the spider. But that's another way to read it, which is, the cat is like, I'm giving this spider full credit because that spider is the one.

[Lee]

Right. I mean, you know, friend of my friend. I'm sure they're on speaking terms. I'm sure they get along right. They can all hang out as a trio. But it's clear that the primary friendship here is the cat and the spider. Eva, Amazing story, Lee.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Do you want to read this next story?

[Lee]

I would love to. From Liam, an 8 year old in Pennsylvania. Here is dirty time. Oh, with an exclamation point. Dirty time. Once upon a time, there was a normal town. But one day, that all changed. The mayor. The town is now. The toothpaste is dirt. The shower water is dirt. The soap is, well, dirt. But a boy named Asher was done. So he went to talk to the mayor. Hey, mayor, I want our town to go back to normal. Well, said the mayor. Asher.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yes.

[Lee]

No, said the mayor.

[Sheriff Rex (Nigel's story)]

No,

[Lee]

Asher. Asher, Said his mom.

[Magic Juice Box]

Whoa.

[Lee]

I had the worst nightmare ever. The mayor changed the whole city dirty. Oh, that is impossible. Said his mom. Cause he said it today.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

No.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. You know what? I've noticed something that a lot of incredible story. First of all, Liam, a lot of kids in stories, they love to write about evil mayors. Mayors with too much power, frankly.

[Lee]

Yeah.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

And he's gone straight to. I'm trying to think of what things would are worse if they were pure dirt. Toothpaste and soap.

[Lee]

Yeah.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

If you had to use pure dirt. Hmm.

[Lee]

Toothpaste, soap and shower water.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah.

[Lee]

That's the worst.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

I mean, we're living like birds. Do you know birds, they take dirt baths?

[Lee]

Is that right?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah. You ever seen them down in a little dry patch of dirt, they go, no. That's how they clean their feathers.

[Lee]

You've seen that?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

I have seen it.

[Lee]

With your own eyes?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

With my own eyes. I read about it. I saw a video, and then I was walking down the street one day.

[Lee]

No.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

And I saw a bird taking a little dirt bath.

[Lee]

So just to be clear, the mom is saying here it couldn't have already happened that the mayor turned the town dirty, because he only just said that today.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

So he had a prescient dream. He foresaw this dirty day.

[Lee]

Right.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

He woke up and said, dirty time.

[Lee]

Do you think that's the first thing the mayor said, his press conference. Good morning. Dirty time.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Get ready. It's dirty time.

[Lee]

It's Clean and Dirty Day.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's Clean and Dirty Day.

[Lee]

It's Clean and Dirty Day.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's Clean and Dirty Day, Season one.

[Lee]

That's from a story called Pig and Unicorn from season one. All right. Amazing job, Liam. Let's get to our final story. Peter, would you do us the honors?

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yes, Lee. This last story comes to us from Calliope and Alaska. Nine years old, from Tennessee. Great names. This story is called Mustard Ice Cream.

[Lee]

There's no question mark, though. I added that. Yeah, it's just mustard ice.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

You'd probably read it as mustard ice cream. Once there was a girl named Jewel, and her mornings always started the same way. Ah, good morning, Gemma. My flying Catacorn. Let's see what's on the news, said Jewel. That's just in, said the news person. Mustard ice cream is still the biggest thing on the planet. Hurry, Gemma, said Jewel. We have to get mustard ice cream before it sells out, like it always does.

[Lee]

Yep.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

So she and Gemma the Flying Catacorn went to the mustard ice cream store. When they got there, not only was it sold out, but they had raised the price to $100 cents. It's 100 cents and $100 at the same time.

[Lee]

So technically, $101. Are there cents in a dollar? Yeah, I always Forget if it's 60 cents or 100 cents in a dollar or if it's 100 minutes or 60. I mean, 100. You get money seconds mixed up.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah, we've really gotten off track here.

[Lee]

Anyway, $101. Yes, J,

[Dad (Zach's story)]

her and Gemma, the Catacorn could never get mustard ice cream. So when they got home, they decided to make a plan. If they couldn't get mustard ice cream anywhere on their planet, they would go to every planet ever.

[Lee]

Until they got some solid, solid plan.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

So they started their journey. First, they went to Gemma's home planet called Snuffleuphagus, where Gemma communicated with the other flying Catacorns. They only had pickle ice cream there. They tried pickle ice cream, but they just knew that it wasn't as good as mustard ice cream. Next, they went to Planet Doll Mania, where they.

[Lee]

You gotta really love dolls.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Today. You're playing a doll mania. Well, they were only dolls who told them that everyone on their planet hated ice cream.

[Lee]

Wow.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Finally, they went to planet Musto Mustopolis, and they had all the mustard ice cream that had sold out on their planet. And they were selling it for $500 cents. So they stole it.

[Lee]

500 cents plus $500. So it's $505.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

So they stole it and ate it all. The next day they had a big tummy ache. The end.

[Lee]

Wow. Alaska calliope. Incredible.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

All right, so I want to return back to the explanation of what $100 cents is. It says it's 100 cents and $100 at the same time now.

[Lee]

So you think it's an object that could be either cents or dollars.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's.

[Lee]

It's like it's a tender that is either cents or dollars.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

It's like Schrodinger's cat.

[Lee]

Right? Okay, okay.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

You know, it is both positive and negative. It is dollars if you needed to be dollars. It's cents if you need it to be cents.

[Lee]

That would really throw the economy into a tizzy.

[Dad (Zach's story)]

Yeah.

[Lee]

All right. Well, I love the story because the message of it is like, if you work hard enough, you can get anything that you are looking for. However, that doesn't mean you will not also get a tummy ache.

[Rolo]

Mm.

[Lee]

Well, I respect mustard ice cream, but I would not eat it. That's it for today's story. Love to read all of today's stories, just head to storypirates.com and guess what, Grown Ups. You can find an even longer version of today's story love on YouTube. And while you're there, why not subscribe to our channel and make sure to watch the new videos each week? And Grown Ups Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show. It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program. To find out more about StoryLove or our digital creative writing program, StoryQuest, or our nonprofit arm, Story Pirates Changemakers. Check the show notes for links. That's it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors, Zach and Nigel. And guess what? You can still send us your stories and we respond. Respond to every single story we receive. Grown Ups. Your link to submit stories is in the show notes for today's episode. We'll be back next week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind.

[Zach (author introduction)]

Bye.

[Lee]

The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. Co executive producers are Holly and Rizwan Kasim, Manya, Lissi, Murray Sampson, Jack Schaefer, and Jacob Vaughn. This episode was produced by Isabelle Erricchio, Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Lee Overtree, Brittany Stahl, and Steve White. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Additional production by Brett Toobin. Theme song by Bobby Lord, Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O' Neill and Alexis Simpson, and contributing writing by Lee Overtree. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. This episode features performances by langston darby, nick kanalis, justin coon, caroline lux, anna marr, peter mcnerney, kyle moore, alexandra nader, peter russo, austin sanders, and julia schroeder.

[John / Guard (Nigel's story)]

Wow.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Rolo, are you hearing this? They are loving our bumper sticker.

[Rolo]

I hope so. It took hours to come up with it.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Yeah, but we finally found the perfect slogan. Keep honking.

[Rolo]

I'm listening to the story.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Pirates 2020 Meteoric sensation Cats Sit on youn. My personal favorite album.

[Rolo]

Mine, too.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Hey, if you know, you know.

[Rolo]

Is it possible? It's too good. People won't stop honking.

[Lee]

Or maybe it's possible you're going too slow, rolo. You're going 35 and a 70.

[Rolo]

Oh, whoops.

[Baby with a Mustache]

My bad.

[Rolo]

Storyteller Con, here we come.

[Baby with a Mustache]

Hit it, Rolo.