Story Pirates – "The Bed / Do Not Disturb" (feat. Alison Pill)

Release Date: November 6, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively episode kicking off Season 8 of the Story Pirates podcast, the talented crew—joined by guest star Alison Pill—tackles stories written by kids and transforms them into sketches, songs, and comic dialogues. The episode features two main story adaptations: "The Bed" by nine-year-old Bethany and "Do Not Disturb" by nine-year-old Mallory. In addition, listeners get comedic meta-narrative about the pirates preparing for “Storyteller Con,” an appearance by their robotic doppelgängers, and the ever-popular "Story Love" segment with more kid-written stories. As always, the tone is energetic, silly, and imaginative, celebrating the weird and wonderful world of children’s creativity.

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Season 8 Launch & Story Pirates’ Mission

• [00:02–03:40] Leigh (host) opens by announcing the new partnership with Lemonada Media, discusses funding challenges for kids’ podcasts, and introduces personalized video fundraisers to support the season.
  • Quote: “It is a really challenging time right now for educational media providers... Over the past few years, the podcast industry has turned almost entirely away from kids and family programming, despite the fact that hundreds of thousands of listeners rely on it.” – Leigh [01:22]
  • The heartfelt message underscores the importance of community support and highlights opportunities for listeners to interact directly with the crew.

2. Story Pirates Hit the Road – Storyteller Con Narrative

• [04:19–08:38] The regular crew is at the Bean Emporium café, bemoaning staffing shortages, when they receive an invitation to Storyteller Con—the most prestigious event for storytellers.
  • The team is daunted because the event is on land, which seemed inaccessible for their ship, until it’s revealed Nimini installed wheels ("road trip mode") long ago.
  • Quote: “My greatest dream is to tackle the open road. But that’s impossible.” – Lee [06:39]
  • An ongoing comic motif: the pirates’ ship is messy, and they haven't taken the trash out in eight years.

3. Featured Story: "The Bed"

• [09:23–11:52]
  • Introduction: Writer Bethany (age 9, New York) introduces her story via voice clip: "This is my story. The Bed."
  • Musical Comedy Sketch: The crew enacts a song about Dr. Bentley, a pediatrician desperately searching for a place to nap amidst growing exhaustion. The song cycles through absurd "bed" alternatives (X-ray machine, MRI machine) before the doctor realizes the solution was always at home.
    • Fun musical style, playful lyrics, and running jokes about tired doctors and unsuitable sleeping arrangements.
  • Memorable line: “Dr. Bentley found us. You woke me up. Oops. The doctor was sleeping.” [11:51]

4. Ship Clean-Up and the Rise of Evil Robot Duplicates

• [11:52–16:29] The pirates undertake ship cleaning, leading to a humorous series of “discarded” items (e.g., moldy mustache wax, dramatic quills, robot gadgets).
  • A series of gags about inventions and personal possessions gone awry.
  • Comic reveal: Megan’s doppelgänger and a surprise Peter Pan–style entrance.
• [16:29–24:27] In a chaotic twist, Rolo reveals he used Nimini’s old gadgets to build “Evil Robot Story Pirates” to deal with unreliable staffing.
  • Evil robot versions introduce themselves, criticizing the crew as inefficient and needlessly wacky. The robots plan world domination—beginning by discrediting Story Pirates at Storyteller Con.
  • Quote: “Your podcast is bogged down by inefficient absurdities and unnecessary wackiness and jokes that do not further the plot.” – Evil Robot Crew [23:03]
  • The real pirates are determined to stop the robots at Storyteller Con.

5. Featured Story: "Do Not Disturb"

• [24:32–31:54]
  • Introduction: Mallory (age 9, Virginia) brings “Do Not Disturb”—a comedic slice-of-life about a kid’s desperate quest for privacy.
  • Sketch: Mallory’s attempts to create a private sanctuary spiral into the ridiculous: a “Do Not Disturb” sign is ignored by family, so she hires bodyguards and installs airport security outside her room. It backfires spectacularly, unsettling both family and Mallory herself.
    • Quote: “Mallory, you're a genius. Oh, and look. Something is coming through the machine. My laundry, perhaps. Here it comes. It's—hey Mallory...Dorothy, how did you get past security? I went through the machine. My shoes are off.” – [30:20]
  • Resolution: Her mom finally breaks in, grounds her, and calls for dinner.

6. Author Interview: Mallory

• [32:03–35:19] Leigh interviews Mallory about her story’s inspiration and her own dream room.
  • Mallory explains she was inspired by literally making a “Do Not Disturb” sign for her own room, and the sketch is meant to be “funny, so it’s supposed to make characters think, ‘What are you doing, Mali? You know, that’s just gonna... disturb you more, I guess.’”
    • Quote: “Sometimes the harder we work to not be disturbed, the easier it is for that problem to get worse.” – Leigh [33:01]
  • Mallory describes her dream room: Taylor Swift and piggy posters, lots of art supplies, and a nice loft bed.

7. Story Love: Story Readings & Discussion with Alison Pill

• [35:38–44:34] Special guest Alison Pill joins Lee and Peter for the Story Love segment, reading three new stories written by kids.

• "The Squirrel That Disagreed with Talking Pumpkins" by Audrey (11, Colorado)

  • Alison reads the tale of Ava the squirrel, besieged by annoyingly riddle-loving, talking pumpkins. The story ends in unexpected peace negotiations.
    • Quote: “Humans? Who needs them? Us squirrels could totally rule this world. ...I do disagree with talking pumpkins.” – Alison as Ava [36:17]
    • The hosts delight in the playful monologue, likening it to Shakespearean asides.
  • Lee challenges the crew to a riddle in the spirit of the story.
    • Riddle & Solution: “I’m in a corner twice, I’m in a room once, I’m not in a house at all, but I’m in a shelter once. What am I?” (Answer: The letter R) [41:00]

• "The Banana Touch" by John (8, Tennessee)

  • Presented as a skit amongst the hosts, the story follows Wilbert who finds a magical ring that turns his mom into a banana. A genie, a single wish (with a paid bribe for a second), and a magical reversal lead to chaos.
    • Quote: “Because the banana gods have chosen you. Don’t worry, it’s not like you are going to turn into a banana or something.” – Lee as Wilbert’s mom [42:42]
    • Alison and the hosts revel in the story’s odd genie-logic (one wish… unless bribed!), its rushed plot jumps, and the invested narrative voice.

8. Meta-Commentary and Humor

• The episode is peppered with self-referential jokes (e.g., pirates never taking notes, robot critique of their own brand of humor), and playful, affectionate jabs at the show’s recurring themes.
  • Quote: “We famously don’t take notes.” – Lee [22:51]

Notable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• The existential dread of invisibility:
  “Why would you get rid of that? Every time I put it on, I literally can't find myself. Metaphorically too. The existential dread really takes the fun out of it.” – Siegfried [14:00]
• Meta-humor about creative chaos:
  “Do you guys think a sneeze is just a burp with more to say?” – Story Pirate [23:11]
• Reflection on kids’ creativity:
  “What truth? That they are too weird. How dare you.” – Lee (responding to the robot’s critique of kid stories) [23:18]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 – 03:40: Opening message from Leigh about supporting the podcast
• 04:19 – 08:38: Crew discovers invitation to Storyteller Con and prepares for road trip
• 09:23 – 11:52: Musical adaptation, "The Bed" by Bethany
• 11:52 – 16:29: Pirates clean up the ship, Megan’s entrance, and evil robot reveal
• 16:29 – 24:27: Evil Robot Story Pirates threaten to ruin Storyteller Con
• 24:32 – 31:54: Comedy sketch, "Do Not Disturb" by Mallory
• 32:03 – 35:19: Interview with Mallory about her story and dream bedroom
• 35:38 – 44:34: Story Love segment with Alison Pill
• 36:03 – 41:21: "The Squirrel That Disagreed with Talking Pumpkins" by Audrey, plus riddle game
• 41:21 – 44:34: "The Banana Touch" by John, Tennessee
• 44:34 – End: Wrap-up, reminders, and thanks

Tone, Style, and Final Thoughts

• The episode brims with goofy energy, character-driven humor, and clever musical interludes. The hosts perpetually channel the wild enthusiasm and unpredictability of kids’ imaginations, never shying away from absurd twists or fourth-wall-breaking commentary.
• Guest Alison Pill is fully integrated, matching the tone and playful performance style of the regular cast.
• The show celebrates “weirdness” as a strength, refusing to streamline or dull the unpredictable quirks that come from stories written by kids.
  • Quote: “I think if Story Pirates has taught our audience anything, it’s that a narrator who’s invested in the stories is more interesting than a narrator who’s not.” – Lee [44:32]

For First-time or Returning Listeners

This episode is an excellent example of the Story Pirates' signature blend of comedy, music, and genuine respect for children’s storytelling. The format welcomes family listening, with enough silly meta-humor for adults and irresistible comic fantasy for kids.

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