The Grouchy Friends/The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep (feat. Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow)

Summary

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Story Pirates Podcast: “The Grouchy Friends/The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep”

February 5, 2026

Special Guests: Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Story Pirates Podcast showcases the playful collision of human and robot perspectives as the Story Pirates and their “evil robot” counterparts get sidetracked at the fantastical “Lucky’s” mega gas station. The show highlights two kid-authored stories—“The Grouchy Friends” by Dylan and “The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep” by Wilder—brought to life through comedy, music, and creative sketches, with interviews and lively commentary. Special guests Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow join in, adding their comedic flair.

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Main Segments & Highlights

1. Adventures at Lucky’s Mega Gas Station

[02:00–17:34]

• The Story Pirates arrive at Lucky’s gas station, marveling at its absurd attractions (water park, dog park, strange merch).
• Comic banter about what a “nutria” is, leading to playful confusion.
• Two parallel groups—Story Pirates & their evil robot doubles—try (and fail) to appreciate Lucky’s for its inefficiency, highlighting the difference between robot efficiency and human enjoyment.
• Peter is left behind and bonds with his evil robot self over snacks, setting up a heartwarming lesson about fun, friendship, and the value of inefficiency.

Notable Quotes:

“This is exactly the kind of place that the evil robot story pirates could never appreciate. It’s just too human.”
— Rachel, [03:01]

“It’s fun to be weird and unexpected. It makes me so happy to hear you say that.”
— Peter to “Nugget,” [16:27]

2. Kid Story #1: “The Grouchy Friends” by Dylan

[07:19–12:29]

• Introduced by Dylan, age 6, from New York, who uses a speech device.
• Musical sketch about Bear and Horse, noisy neighbors and “grouchy friends,” culminating in comedic reconciliation and an explosion of noise.
• Catchy song emphasizes their differences but ultimately their friendship.

Notable Song Lyric:

“Grouchy friends, we’re just a pair of grouchy friends / I’m a horse, I’m a bear, I got lots to say and I just don’t care…”
— Bear & Horse, [08:45]

3. The Robot Eats Snacks (& Lessons on Inefficiency)

[12:29–17:57]

• Evil Robot Peter, eventually dubbed “Nugget,” is awestruck by the joys of sampling snacks.
• The robot’s embrace of inefficiency and fun upends the robot code, leading to a transformative (and snack-fueled) friendship with Human Peter.
• A water slide adventure momentarily “resets” robot Peter, erasing his memories of the day and friendship (metaphor for change and fleeting experiences).

Memorable Moment:

“I’ve found almost every kind of snack at Lucky’s. But the best thing I found here today wasn’t fudge or nuggets… The best thing I found… is friendship.”
— Peter, [16:27]

4. Kid Story #2: “The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep” by Wilder

[25:18–31:17]

• Introduced by Wilder, age 9, from New York.
• Comedy sketch about Amy, who tries every method imaginable (from cuddling Mr. Reindeer to “weaving baskets with otters” and calling an owl) in an effort to fall asleep.
• Her mother persistently proposes wild solutions, leading to a surreal resolution with a literal owl call.

Notable Quotes:

“Everybody knows you should weave a basket with an otter.”
— Amy’s Mom, [26:09]

“That’s wild. Please acknowledge that’s wild.”
— Amy, [28:44]

• Interview with Wilder [31:28–34:28]:
  • Wilder explains inspiration—sleep troubles and random ideas from friends at school.
  • Describes personal sleep routines, including use of a calming tuning fork, and shares funny sleep-talking stories.

Memorable Moment:

“Like a nice bee? Yes, like a bee who wishes they were an owl.”
— Wilder & Lee, [33:04]

5. Story Love: More Kid Stories & Discussion

[34:31–44:48]

Lee and Peter read and riff on three bonus kid-written stories:

• “The Five Cars” by Sammy (age 6, WA)
  • Wildly named cars race; dramatic turns; commentary on character names and racing tropes.
  • “Impressive.” as a punchline ending.
  • [34:57–37:00]
• “The Thing I Lost” by Ellen (age 9, CA)
  • Bobby searches globally for his “cat” (revealed as “camera arm toaster”), with helpful strangers each missing something of their own.
  • Lee and Peter ponder the theme of losing and finding, and sun motifs.
  • [38:03–41:13]
• “Popcorn Robot Egg” by Henry (age 6, RI)
  • Begins with a robot egg, a diamond heart, segueing into a magical adventure in Las Vegas with robots, popcorn, and a superhero “Human Light Bulb.”
  • Lee marvels at the story’s structure and cohesive imagination.
  • [41:14–44:48]

Notable Commentary:

“This story has one of the greatest reveals I’ve ever seen in a story. …CAT stands for camera arm toaster.”
— Lee, [39:48]

“Just the image at the very beginning where the farmer’s like good morning chickens and suddenly there’s an egg and it goes diamond and then reforms into a person—beautiful.”
— Peter, [42:53]

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

| Segment | Time | |---------------------------------------|--------------| | Arrival at Lucky’s & Intro | 02:00–06:41 | | “The Grouchy Friends” Story | 07:19–12:29 | | Snack Adventure & Robot Friendship | 12:29–17:57 | | “The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep” Story| 25:18–31:17 | | Interview with Wilder (the Author) | 31:28–34:28 | | Story Love (Bonus Kid Stories) | 34:31–44:48 | | Closing Letters & Sign Off | 46:59–48:13 |

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Memorable Quotes & Moments With Timestamps

• “I do not consume food, so I find it hard to understand you.” — Evil Robot Peter, [06:07]
• “Jerky is like the fudge of the meat world.” — Peter, [13:02]
• “If I say yes, will you take me to the payphone immediately following? Deal.” — Nugget & Peter, [13:30]
• “I cannot wait to tell the other evil robot Story Pirates what I’ve learned today.” — Nugget, [16:33]
• “My diamond heart demands…and I shall go to the most spectacular location for my things.” — Lee (recounting Henry’s story), [44:36]

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains Story Pirates’ signature blend of joyful absurdity, lighthearted banter, musical sketches, and warmth toward kid creativity. Adult cast members and kid authors alike revel in nonsense, puns, and the empowering message that weirdness and fun matter.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Heard the Episode

• This is a celebration of embracing the illogical and unexpected.
• The episode is driven by comedy, music, imaginative stories, and mutual respect between grownups and kids as creators.
• Themes include: friendship through shared weirdness, the value of inefficiency, wild solutions to ordinary problems, and the endless inventiveness of kids’ minds.

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Special Guests

• Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow appear in sketches, bringing extra energy and humor.

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Closing Thoughts

The “Story Pirates” once again prove that the wildest adventures and the deepest friendships come from unexpected detours, both real and imagined.

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Transcript

[Amy]

Lemonade.

[Lee]

Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners. Lee here on today's episode, the Story Pirates have another encounter with the evil robot Story Pirates. And let's just say that Peter learns a thing or two about water slides. We also have two amazing special guests on one of today's new stories, the the fantastic and hilarious Jeff Hiller. And the return of the wonderful and talented Hannah Solo. And of course, we've got more story love with Lee and Peter. And it's all coming up after a few words for the grown ups.

[Narrator/Host]

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[Amy]

I love whosmarted because it makes learning fun for my kids. And I love it too. We listen together on car rides and it sparks the best conversations. It's the perfect way to make the most of our time in the car and connect as a family. WhoSmarted is the podcast my kids ask for every single car ride.

[Narrator/Host]

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[Bear]

Wow.

[Rachel]

I can't believe that in all my travels I've never come across a gas station like Lucky's. Have you ever seen anything like it, Nimini?

[Megan]

No, Rachel, it's incredible. They have something for everyone and then a bunch of stuff that's like, who's that for?

[Rachel]

Oh, there's so much merch. And you know, I love merch and I love their mascot, even though I can't really tell what it is. It's a nutria.

[Lee]

Megan, what's a nutria?

[Rachel]

Well, Lee, it's a semi aquatic rodent with large front teeth like a cross between an otter and a beaver. I know because I had a nutria co star in a pilot that never aired or was made.

[Megan]

Do we have time to go to the Lucky's water park? That's next to the Lucky's dog park.

[Lee]

Sorry, Nimini, we gotta get a move on. Let's get a photo with this Lucky statue and we'll head out. Everyone get in for a selfie.

[Rachel]

Where's Peter? I haven't seen him since we got here and he ran straight to that storm.

[Peter]

Sweet.

[Rachel]

And Savory pastry section. We were all supposed to meet here at the statue. When we were ready to go, he.

[Megan]

Ate too much and told me he was going to go take a nap under his coat in the car. I'll photo crop him in the picture later.

[Amy]

Smile, y'.

[Bear]

All. Cheese.

[Amy]

Aw, cute pic.

[Rachel]

You can tell we're having so much fun. This is exactly the kind of place that the evil robot story Pirates could never appreciate. It's just too human.

[Bear]

Right?

[Lee]

Speaking of which, we need to get a move on. Come on, let's head over to the ship at fuel pump 326.

[Rachel]

Well, I guess we better get on the road. But I love it here. This giant gas station is terrible. If I could feel emotions, this would give me yuck. Do you agree, Robot Nimini?

[Megan]

I agree, Evil robot Rachel. At first you think it's efficient, but then it turns out it's not efficient at all. Right, Evil robot Megan.

[Rachel]

Exactly. Having over 100 fuel pumps at a gas station. Efficient. But selling slippers that look like nutrients at a gas station?

[Lee]

Inefficient. Lean in, evil robot Story Pirates. Let us get a photo with the lucky statue to remember to never come back to this place.

[Rachel]

Robot Lee. Where is robot Peter? His system got overwhelmed and he had to go recharge in the rv. Huddle up, evil robots and look like you're having fun. More fun. More fun.

[Peter]

Okay, Cheese.

[Lee]

Let us away to fuel pump 17.

[Rachel]

All right.

[Peter]

Guys, I'm here right where we said to meet up outside near the Lucky statue. I said I was gonna go take a nap in the car, but I got distracted by the fudge buffet. Guys, I'm here. I know I said I was going to recharge in the trunk of the rv, but it turns out they have charging stations at Lucky's. Guys. Guys, guys. Oh, my gosh. It's evil. It's regular human Peter.

[Bear]

Wow.

[Peter]

I love Story Pirates.

[Wilder]

It just filled me up with joy.

[Peter]

My mom loves the jokes.

[Wilder]

Yo, yo, Matcha.

[Rachel]

It made me very proud about my writings.

[Wilder]

Whatever popped into my mind, I just found a way to add it into the story. I definitely think I can be more creative now. I'm the champion. The Story Pirates.

[Peter]

Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everyone, where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs. Where are the rest of the story pirates? Regular human story pirate Peter? I don't know. They thought I was in the car, so they might have left me here. Where are the other evil robot story pirates? It looks as if I, too, have been Left behind. Well, at least we're stuck in a place that has all these snacks. Ah, yes, snacks. That's kind of your whole thing, isn't it? No, I also like full meals. As you know, I do not consume food, so I find it hard to understand you. Oh, that's okay. I find it hard to understand most things. You want some fudge? Hard pass. I need to find a way to get back in touch with the other evil robot story. Pirates. I saw an old payphone inside at the other end of Lucky's. Want to scope it out? I guess so. It is getting rather hot out here by the statue. Wow, I thought I was impressed the first time I saw Lucky's, but it's just as impressive the second time you walk through those automatic doors. Hey, while I take you to the payphone, should we do our first story? A story by a kid?

[Bear]

Ha ha.

[Peter]

Us evil robot story pirates aren't supposed to like those, but I suppose one wouldn't hurt. Proceed. Uh, okay.

[Lee]

Okay, listeners, this first story comes from a student in one of our StoryQuest classrooms in New York. StoryQuest is our completely digital creative writing program for schools. And here's something really amazing. Dylan. That's the author's name. Dylan uses a very special device to speak, which you'll hear right now as he introduces his story.

[Wilder]

Hello, my name is Dylan. I am six years old. I live in New York. This is my story, the Grouchy Friends.

[Bear]

Oh, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and there's naught but a single cloud. Good morning, cloud.

[Peter]

Good morning, bear.

[Bear]

It's a beautiful morning for me, bear. Except. Hello, bear. My neighbor horse is just too loud. Oh, what a wonderful morning.

[Rachel]

Isn't it, Bear?

[Bear]

It reminds me of an old anecdote my uncle's Ferrier's former college roommate used to tell. Or should I say former uni flatmate since it was when he was doing that sub Mr. Prawn and Jolly out knowing him. Boss, I want to be nice, but you're talking much too much and much too loud for the morning.

[Lee]

Oh, well, I gotta tell you, bear, hearing that makes me a little grouchy.

[Bear]

Oh, I'm making you grouchy. You're making me grouchy.

[Peter]

You're making me grouchy.

[Bear]

You're making me grouchy. You're making me grouchy. Horse, bear, horse, bear, horse, bear, horse, bear, bear.

[Lee]

Grouchy friends.

[Bear]

We're just a pair of grouchy friends. I'm a horse, I'm a bear. I got Lots to say and I just don't care. Grouchy friends. We're just a pair of grouchy friends. And we'll be neighbors, buddy cows till the end. You know what, Horse? Let me apologize. I'm not a morning bear and I'm still opening my eyes. Cold air. I understand. And morning noise can be jarring.

[Lee]

So from the bottom of my heart.

[Bear]

Let me say I'm very, very accepting of your apology. Oh, what's wrong? I just thought you were gonna say you're sorry.

[Peter]

Sorry for what?

[Bear]

For being too noisy. I'm not being too noisy. I'm being too noisy for you. Which makes it a you problem. Horse, you're making me grouchy.

[Peter]

You're making me grouchy.

[Bear]

You're making me grouchy.

[Peter]

You're making me grouchy.

[Bear]

Horse, bear, horse, bear, water horse, hare. Grouchy friends. We're just a pair of grouchy friends. You know there are 400,000 blood types for horses. You know that I just don't care. Of courses. Grouchy friends with such a pair of grouchy friends. And will be neighbors bunny's pals to the end. Tap break.

[Peter]

You know, a horse doesn't have a soft shoe.

[Bear]

Ha ha ha. Shuffle up to buffalo. No, stop. Stop tap dancing. You got four hooves. That's four too many. Yeah. Grouchy friends with just a pair of grouchy friends.

[Music Host]

More.

[Bear]

Squat down a bit. What do you say?

[Peter]

Oh, Bear, you know it's coming.

[Lee]

Don'.

[Bear]

Grouchy friends, we're such a pair of grouchy friends. And we'll be neighbor's funny pals till the end. Now some might ask why the two of us are friends.

[Lee]

Well, it's simple. You'll always be there. On that I can depend.

[Bear]

Yes, you've got a noisy nature. But I guess that's just part of you. So let me say, horse, that I truly do love you. Horse, what are you doing? I'm building a shed. Why are you building a shed? Oh, where else am I gonna store all my fireworks, jackhammers and my collection of vintage cars with busted mufflers? Horse. Grouchy friends. They're a pair of grouchy, grouchy friends. At least tell me that you're almost done.

[Peter]

Oh, Bear, I barely even begun.

[Bear]

Oh, grouchy friends wear such a a pair of crowdy friends. And we'll be neighbors, buddies, pals till the end. Till the end. Yes, we're just too ridiculously grouchy bare. Am I really that loud? Ouch. See? Just two incredibly ridiculously grouchy friends crouching. I think the fireworks set off all the jackhammers, which in turn started all the cars somehow. Friends Horse and bear to grouchy friends.

[Peter]

Wow, I love that story. Wasn't that great, Evil Robot Peter? I'm not allowed to say. Um, okay. Now, which way is the payphone? It feels like we've been walking through Lucky's gas station for miles. Even though it's only been exactly 1.24798 kilometers. Oh, it's back this way. Through the dried meat section. Ugh, doesn't it smell incredible? Here I'm picking up aromas that are spicy and sweet and matcha. Oh, they have free samples of jerky. You want to try one?

[Wilder]

Pass.

[Peter]

Okay. Yummy. Jerky is like the fudge of the meat world. Oh, no way. They have nutria nuggets samples out too. What are Nutria nuggets? I don't know. Some kind of exclusive Lucky snack. You wanna try one and see if you can, like, analyze it? No. Oh, come on. They're delicious. I'd love to know the ingredients list so I could think about possibly making them one day. If I say yes, will you take me to the payphone immediately following? Deal. Very well. Here is my first bite. Now analyzing four ingredients. Swallow. Awaiting results. Oh, no. Oh no.

[Bear]

Evil Robot me.

[Peter]

What's happening? Are you okay? Peter, these nuggets. They are incredible. Is this what snack tastes like?

[Bear]

Yes.

[Peter]

More. More. Here, have a sample of peanut brittle. Snack me. I'll eat it too. Fantastic. Snack me again. Nutria Grain bars. Snack me. Hound Honghong. Awesome. Snack me again. The Lucky's mascot Nutrium mask. Snack me. Oh, actually, I don't think this one is that Hound. Clown Kong. But it's delicious. Whoa. Okay, this is so fun. But why are we limiting ourselves to one section of Lucky's when it covers over 3 square miles? Square miles? Do they call them a square miles because they're boring and uncool? You're hilarious. So are you. Come on, let's go check out the rest of the store. A hair salon in a gas station? That's so inefficient. That's so Lucky's.

[Bear]

Look.

[Peter]

A sample of Lucky's Salon chocolate mousse. How delicious. Let's go. A karaoke bar in a gas station? That's so inefficient. That's so Lucky's. Look, a sample of Lucky's Karaoke Key lime pie.

[Bear]

Ow.

[Peter]

Nom nom. Delicious. Let's go. An airbrush T shirt store in a gas station. That's so inefficient. That's so Lucky's. Look, a sample of Lucky's T shirt iced tea. Delicious.

[Lee]

Would you two want to sit for a T shirt portrait while you sip your drinks? I'll only charge you half since you got the same face.

[Bear]

Yeah.

[Lee]

Boy, you two are the closest brothers I've ever seen.

[Peter]

What? You think we're brothers?

[Bear]

Of course.

[Lee]

You have identical faces and builds. And not only that, I can tell you're having a great time in each other's company. There's a closeness there you don't see every day. Now turn your head a little that way and look out the window for me.

[Bear]

Look.

[Peter]

I didn't realize there was a water park at Lucky's. Can we go there next Human Peter? I don't know. Evil robot me. I don't think you're supposed to get in water. Oh, come on. I wasn't supposed to eat snacks either. And look how well that turned out.

[Lee]

And there we go. What do you think? I drew you two on the water slide since you were just talking about it.

[Bear]

Cool.

[Peter]

I guess you're right. Evil robot me. We gotta try that water slide. I mean, look how much fun we're having on this T shirt. Let's go.

[Lee]

What nice boys.

[Peter]

I am so very excited, Peter. I've had such an amazing time today, and it's all thanks to you. I've had so much fun, too, you know. I've found almost every kind of snack at Lucky's. But the best thing I found here today wasn't fudge or nuggets, though. The nuggets were really good. Really good. The best thing I found at Lucky's wasn't a snack. It's friendship. Heck, feels weird to call you Evil Robot me when we've become such good friends. Can I call you something else? How about you call me Nugget, since it was those nutria nuggets that began our friendship. Sounds good, Nugget. I've had such a wonderful day. It's made me realize efficiency is overrated. Nugget, do you mean that you and this huge gas station have shown me something very important. Things don't have to be efficient to be good. It's fun to be weird and unexpected. It makes me so happy to hear you say that. I cannot wait to tell the other evil robot story. Pirates. What I've learned today. I know they'll change their minds and see the value in things unique and uncommon. And then they'll want to become friends too. And then we can all hang out together on the ship.

[Bear]

Yay.

[Peter]

But first, let us go down this slide for what will be the first of many times, I'm sure. Here we go.

[Bear]

Whee.

[Peter]

That was awesome. You want to go again? Yes.

[Bear]

Again.

[Peter]

I. Again.

[Wilder]

Again.

[Bear]

Again. Again.

[Peter]

Nugget. Nugget.

[Bear]

No.

[Peter]

Speak to me. Reset to factory settings. Uh, that's probably not a bad thing, right?

[Wilder]

We'll be right back after a few words for the grown ups.

[Lee]

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[Peter]

Reset to factory settings. Reset to factory settings.

[Bear]

Oh, no. Nuggets.

[Peter]

We were having such a fun day, and then you went down the water.

[Lee]

Slide and this happened.

[Peter]

Well, to be specific, this didn't happen until we got down the slide and landed in the splash zone. Reset two factory settings. Here, let's get you over to the sun in Lucky's topiary garden to dry you off. Oh, no. I didn't think to purchase a Lucky's brand towel. Oh, I guess I'll just use our airbrush.

[Lee]

T shirt. There you are.

[Peter]

It's Evil Robot Lee and the rest of the Evil Robot Story Pirates.

[Rachel]

We've been looking everywhere for you.

[Lee]

Me?

[Peter]

Why would you be looking everywhere for me? Do you have a secret you need to tell me?

[Megan]

Not you. We've been looking for Evil Robot Peter.

[Peter]

Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. Reset to factory settings.

[Rachel]

Reset to factory settings. What have you done to Evil Robot Story Pirate Peter? Peter.

[Peter]

First of all, his name is Nugget. And second of all, all I did was show him the best day he's ever had in his entire life. We saw everything there was to see at Lucky's. And we had snacks.

[Megan]

But he's not supposed to have snacks.

[Peter]

Well, Nugget tried them and he loved them.

[Rachel]

Why do you keep calling him Nugget?

[Megan]

Look, Evil Robot Peter is powering up again.

[Peter]

Then he can tell you why he goes by Nugget himself.

[Lee]

Evil Robot Peter. How are you feeling?

[Peter]

I am.

[Bear]

Well.

[Peter]

Where are we, Nugget? We're at Lucky's. Don't you remember Nugget? Who's Lucky? What's Nugget? Don't you want a snack? Here, It's a ham salad sandwich. It's ham salad, but Human story Pirate Peter, don't you know robots do not eat snacks?

[Bear]

No.

[Wilder]

Why?

[Peter]

Wait, I gotta try one last thing. Look. Look at the T shirt and tell me what you see. I see a bunch of drippy lines and swirls. What?

[Rachel]

It just looks like a bunch of splatters of paint. All the colors are melting into one another.

[Peter]

Oh, no. The water, the airbrush. Paint must not have been set yet. It's ruined.

[Bear]

Ruined.

[Lee]

Come, evil robots. We'd better get going if we're going to get to Storyteller Con in an efficient manner.

[Rachel]

Let's go.

[Peter]

Sorry, guys. I don't know what that was all about.

[Bear]

Nugget, my best friend.

[Peter]

How will I ever get over this? Oh, hey, there's half a muffin in my bathing suit.

[Bear]

All right.

[Peter]

That's very wet.

[Lee]

Peter, there you are. We've been looking everywhere for you.

[Peter]

Oh, don't worry. Wet Muffin and I are both here.

[Rachel]

Peter, we all thought you were asleep under your coat in the car. Turns out your coat was just laying on top of your pillow. Which is Peter shaped.

[Peter]

How did you figure out I wasn't there?

[Megan]

Megan asked if anybody wanted the rest of her Lucky surf and turf platter. And you didn't speak up.

[Rachel]

I knew something was off. You love lobster tail. We doubled back and thank goodness you're here.

[Lee]

We're sorry we left without you, pal. It wasn't very thoughtful to leave you at Lucky's all by yourself.

[Peter]

Oh, I wasn't alone.

[Rachel]

You weren't? Well, who was here with you?

[Peter]

I'll have to tell you another time, Rachel. Cause that's all your gun nugget from me today.

[Rachel]

That's fine. I'm sure you're tired after spending all day, Evil Robot.

[Peter]

Peter and I hung out and we became lifelong friends and ate snacks and went down the water slide together and even got a T shirt together. But he had some wiring problems and totally forgot all about it once he powered up again.

[Lee]

I think someone's had a little too much fudge. How about we get you some water, buddy?

[Peter]

Ooh, I love water. And maybe we can do another story while we walk to Lucky's water section.

[Music Host]

Yeah.

[Peter]

And here's the author to introduce it.

[Wilder]

Hi, I'm wilder. I am 9 years old and I live in New York. This is my story. The Girl who Never Fell Asleep.

[Music Host]

That was the Kit Kat Trio with croissant, French toast and a side of beans.

[Amy]

Groovy. And what a great beat to help me brush my teeth.

[Rachel]

Amy? Yeah, mom, it's almost 9 o'. Clock. Are you ready for bed?

[Amy]

Yeah. My teeth are brushed, my pajamas are on, and they're already playing my Wind down hour on my favorite radio station.

[Music Host]

It's coming up on the 9 o' clock hour. So we're going to switch to something a little slower. Here's Renee. Polyester with insomnia.

[Rachel]

The radio. Honey, if you really want to fall asleep, everybody knows you should weave a basket with an otter.

[Amy]

Mom, no. You're not gonna do what you always do, which is come up with these outrageous solutions to everyday problems.

[Rachel]

Amy, what are you saying? I never do that.

[Amy]

Mom, that's kind of your whole thing.

[Rachel]

Whole thing? Amy, I don't have a whole thing. Listen to you. Now. Enough of this. It's time for bed.

[Amy]

Good night.

[Rachel]

Good night, Amy.

[Amy]

Okay, tucked into bed. Let me just adjust my radio.

[Music Host]

It's 9:15pm we're continuing our wind down hour with some soothing night music. Here's Lil Tater Tot with restless.

[Amy]

Guess I have nothing left to do but fall asleep. Here I go in three, two, one. All right, that didn't seem to work. Here I go. Off to Beddy bye in 3, 2, 1. Still awake.

[Music Host]

Hope all you sleepless Susies and Steves out there are enjoying this music.

[Amy]

I'm not a sleepless Susie.

[Rachel]

Amy, you still awake in here?

[Amy]

Yeah, Mom, I'm just not falling asleep like I usually do.

[Rachel]

Did you try doing Morse code with lightning bugs?

[Amy]

Morse code with lightning bugs?

[Rachel]

Yes. Let's open your curtains to see if they're out tonight.

[Amy]

Mom, that's wild. You have to acknowledge that's wild.

[Rachel]

I don't have to do any such thing. Try it.

[Amy]

No thanks. I have my own methods.

[Rachel]

Okay. Good night, dear.

[Amy]

Time to try one of my old methods. Reading a boring book. Let's see what we have in the old boring book pile. A History of long roads, 1000 ways to say Beige. Ah, here we are. Humphrey's complete list of lists. Now that's the ticket. I'm sure I'll read this and be asleep in no time. I've read through all the lists in the book including the long list of acknowledgments which. Where was your editor on that one, Humphrey? But it's no use. I'm still awake.

[Music Host]

It's 9:50 and we're getting into our wind down hour with another slow tempo song. Here's Dream Captain and the Night Stars with I Just Can't Sleep the titles of these songs. So this goes out to all you awake Adams and Amy's out there. I am an awake Amy to help you fall asleep. All right.

[Rachel]

Amy, still awake?

[Amy]

Yeah, Mom.

[Rachel]

Did you try knitting?

[Amy]

I could see that.

[Rachel]

With some spiders, Mom.

[Amy]

Knitting. Fine. Knitting with spiders. That's wild. Please acknowledge that's wild.

[Rachel]

Okay, Fine, but sometimes wild works.

[Bear]

Mom.

[Amy]

No, I have another idea. One that's sure to work.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Amy]

All right. Reading a boring book didn't work. Let me try cuddling with my favorite stuffy Mr. Reindeer.

[Music Host]

It's 10pm and our wind down hour continues with Nina no Sleep and her hit, Watching the Clock. Because falling asleep feels impossible right now.

[Amy]

Hear that, Mr. Reindeer? Just listen to that soothing music to lull us to sleep.

[Music Host]

Hope this song is hitting all the right notes for those restless Mr. Reindeers and their anxious Amy owners out there.

[Amy]

Okay, you heard that, Mr. Reindeer, right?

[Rachel]

Still awake in here?

[Amy]

Mom, I can't fall asleep. And you entering every few minutes isn't helping either.

[Rachel]

Oh, Amy, I know you didn't want to try any of my suggestions, but have you tried snuggling your favorite stuffy Mr. Reindeer?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Rachel]

Okay. What about reading a book?

[Amy]

I read a boring book.

[Rachel]

Oh, which one? Paint Dries by Nelson Nodd. A History of Blinks by Snooze and Duke or Sheep and how to Count Them by Wynken and Blinkin.

[Amy]

I read Humphrey's complete list of lists.

[Rachel]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Amy]

But it didn't work. What should I do? And don't say something wild.

[Rachel]

Got it.

[Peter]

Okay.

[Wilder]

Okay.

[Rachel]

How about calling an owl?

[Amy]

What?

[Rachel]

Calling an owl.

[Amy]

Come again?

[Rachel]

Calling an owl.

[Bear]

Mom.

[Rachel]

I know. I know it sounds wild, but what could it hurt to try at this point?

[Amy]

Okay, Mom, Fine. Let's call an owl. How do we do that? Anyway? Do you have an owl's number or something?

[Rachel]

I do. Right here.

[Peter]

What?

[Amy]

Do you want to tell me how you got this?

[Rachel]

Not really.

[Amy]

Okay, how's that going to help?

[Bear]

Trust me.

[Music Host]

What?

[Bear]

Trust me.

[Amy]

What was that? Now trust me. Okay, fine. I trust you. What do I say?

[Rachel]

I believe it's customary to say, hello, Mom. Amy, you're tired. Just give it a try. Here's the phone.

[Amy]

Here goes nothing. Hello, Mrs. Or Mr. Owl.

[Rachel]

What did they say?

[Amy]

Well, mom, what they said was. Huh?

[Rachel]

Would you look at that? Mom was right.

[Amy]

The end.

[Rachel]

Huh?

[Bear]

Mom?

[Rachel]

Oh, sorry. The end.

[Peter]

And now Lise speaks with the author.

[Lee]

Wilder, you wrote the Girl who Never Fell Asleep?

[Wilder]

Yes.

[Lee]

Can you tell me how you came up with the idea for that story?

[Wilder]

So my friends were writing stories at school, and I was like, well, I guess I'll write my own. And I was just like, girl sleep is a girl who never fell asleep. And just like whatever popped into my mind, I just found a way to add it into the story.

[Lee]

Oh, that's so cool. Were you sleepy at the time? Is that why you were thinking about sleep?

[Wilder]

Yeah.

[Lee]

That's so funny. The part in your story with the owl made me laugh out loud when I got to it.

[Wilder]

Yeah. I was just like, hmm, what? Like, I just thought of owl, big bird. I don't know. I was just thinking about birds and I was like, owl, what did the.

[Lee]

Mom think was gonna happen when you called the owl? And, like, why did it work so fast?

[Wilder]

I guess the owl has sleeping powers.

[Lee]

Do you ever have trouble falling asleep yourself?

[Wilder]

Yes, a lot of it.

[Lee]

Do you have any routines or anything that you try to help you fall asleep?

[Wilder]

So we have this, like, tuning fork, sort of. And it's really calming because it's like you bang it against your hand or your thigh, and then it causes a vibration and you put it up to your head and it's really calming.

[Lee]

Whoa.

[Wilder]

And. Yeah.

[Lee]

That's amazing. I've never heard about that before. What does it feel like?

[Wilder]

I don't know, like, sort of like a bee on your head, but it doesn't hurt.

[Lee]

Like a nice bee? Yes, like a bee who wishes they were an owl. Do you have, like, a stuffed animal that you sleep with, like, Amy does?

[Bear]

No.

[Wilder]

I've tried it, but I always end up losing my stuffies because I'm very weird when I sleep. Sometimes I talk and say, like, the weirdest things ever.

[Bear]

Really?

[Wilder]

Like, I once asked my dad for a. I just said, give me that with my eyes closed. And I. Yeah. And he gave me a pillow, and then I just threw it on the floor. And I once said to my mom, we need to save the monkey. And she was like, okay, we can save the monkey. And I was like, but no, there are two.

[Lee]

Do you remember that at all?

[Wilder]

No.

[Lee]

Do you ever get out of bed while you're asleep or do you just talk?

[Wilder]

I used to sometimes, like, wake up and get a snack, but now I don't do that. I don't really wake up in the night anymore.

[Lee]

And did you save the monkeys? Did you end up saving both of them?

[Wilder]

I don't know.

[Peter]

Oh, no.

[Lee]

Well, you gotta get back into that dream tonight so we can find out.

[Wilder]

Yeah.

[Lee]

Well, Wilder, it was really fun to chat with you. Thank you so much for letting us perform your story. And I have a feeling I'm gonna fall right to sleep tonight.

[Wilder]

Bye. Bye.

[Peter]

Bye, bye.

[Lee]

And Peter and I will be back to talk about more stories written by kids after a few words for the grown ups. Welcome back to StoryLove, where we take stories written by kids and we read them and talk about them. Hello, Peter.

[Peter]

Hello, Lee.

[Lee]

I'm gonna go ahead and read our first story if that's okay with you.

[Peter]

I can't wait. Wow. All right. Sorry.

[Lee]

Okay. This story was written by a six year old from Washington named Sammy. And Sammy's story is called the Five Cars. Five cars were at the start line. Their names were called Rusty Radar, Cracker, Inner Crackerer.

[Wilder]

Crackerer.

[Peter]

Yes.

[Wilder]

Cracker.

[Lee]

Cracker, Cracker, Boss House, Super Slinker, and Donker's Anker. And then Super Slinker skidded off the side with Rusty. Radar was in first until he broke his radar.

[Peter]

Oh.

[Wilder]

Oh.

[Peter]

That's why you can't let your radar get Rusty Maintenance.

[Lee]

He stopped, then Cracker, Cracker, Cracker Bob to Dyer. And that he got repaired and skidded into Donker, Zonker and Boss House won the race. Impressive.

[Peter]

The end.

[Lee]

I love.

[Peter]

Instead of the end. There's no the end. It's just impressive.

[Lee]

Impressive.

[Peter]

In case you were wondering.

[Lee]

I love this story. It's like, so cinematic. I can see all the cars racing. It's. I love a race.

[Bear]

Yeah.

[Peter]

Story. I mean, obviously, the names. The names Cracker. Cracker, Cracker, Cracker, Bus House.

[Lee]

No, it's Bas House, Boss House, Super Slinker and Donker. Zonker.

[Peter]

Yeah, it's like.

[Lee]

What's your favorite of those?

[Peter]

Oh, Donker. Zonker.

[Lee]

Really?

[Peter]

Oh, yeah.

[Lee]

I'm a Cracker guy.

[Peter]

I mean, two very different reasons. Yeah, Cracker is great because of how hard it is to say. Donker's Anker is great because of how easy it is to say.

[Lee]

That's true. And it's very, very fun.

[Peter]

Now, what do you.

[Lee]

Impressive.

[Peter]

What do you think? No, I just like. Impressive.

[Lee]

Impressive.

[Peter]

Super Slinker. Now, what do you see when you hear the word Super Slinker? A Slinky on wheels or just like, it moves like a Slinky warms up. Like it's like a Slinky that's on both ends. And as it revs up, it just jiggles and then it backs up a little.

[Lee]

Amazing. What an image. I mean, now that we've opened the door to these not being necessarily cars, do you think. What do you think Cracker is?

[Peter]

It's somebody who's trying to talk while eating a lot of crackers. And Zonker. Donker. Sorry. Donkers. Donker. I picture a donkey dressed as a clown just going, oh, interesting.

[Lee]

Sammy, thank you so much for giving us, the US the word Cracker and for writing this incredible story. Peter, would you read the next One.

[Peter]

I would love to Lee. This next story comes to us from a 9 year old from California named Ellen. The thing I lost Once there was a man named Bobby. He almost never loses things. One day he lost his cat. Bobby searched everywhere but couldn't find his cat. So he finally decided to retrace his steps.

[Lee]

Smart.

[Peter]

But he had to get his cat back in 30 minutes. Four minutes later, Bobby was on the beach. He walked for a while and then bumped into a very sunburned man. Bobby said, have you seen my cat? The man said, no. Have you seen my sunscreen? No, sorry, said Bobby and walked away six minutes later. Then Bobby was in France. He climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower and met a woman. Hi. Have you seen my cat? No. Have you seen my sunglasses? Asked the woman. No, sorry, Bobby said back, then climbed back down the Eiffel Tower. Ten minutes later, Bobby was in a random place in Texas. Howdy there human. Said a random cowboy. Hi, said Bobby back. Are you looking for. Are you looking for your cat? Said the random cowboy. Yeah. How did you know? Asked Bobby. I can read minds. Anyways, check in your pocket, said the random cowboy. Okay, said Bobby. He checked his pocket.

[Bear]

Ha ha.

[Peter]

Yelled Bobby. Here it is, my camera arm toaster. I still have 10 minutes left, so I better get going. Thanks, random cowboy. Seven minutes later then Bobby was home. He could finally set up his camera arm toaster. The end.

[Lee]

This story has one of the greatest reveals I've ever seen in a story. There's like you have no idea it's coming. But for those of you who couldn't figure it out, CAT stands for cat. Camera arm toaster.

[Peter]

I didn't get it. You didn't get that?

[Lee]

That's cat.

[Peter]

I thought the joke was is that he always forgets thing like he's. He never loses things but in the like in the end he's forgetful. He forgets what he's looking for.

[Lee]

No, he's looking for his camera arm toaster. His cat.

[Peter]

Oh Ellen, you're so much smarter than I am.

[Lee]

It's genius. Is there significance to the fact that everybody like thematically the fact that everybody he meets is also missing something? Do we all move through the world sort of missing something?

[Peter]

There's. There seems to be also a theme of the sun. At least for through the first person is sunburned. The second person needs their sunglasses and the. Although the cowboy they ride into the sunset.

[Lee]

Cowboys do do that.

[Peter]

Yeah.

[Lee]

Yeah. There is a lot of sun in.

[Peter]

Texas and so I don't know if this was intended, but I was like, what does that mean? What is that theme?

[Lee]

I don't know. But thank you for avoiding my question and introducing a new one.

[Peter]

You're very welcome. I'm great at that.

[Music Host]

Ellen.

[Lee]

Fantastic story, my friend. Thank you so much for sending it in. Okay, here's our final story From Henry, a 6 year old in Rhode Island. Here is popcorn robot egg. This is so good. One morning, a farmer checks on his chicken eggs. He finds that one of them is a robot egg. The egg opens and inside is a diamond crystal. The eggshell transforms around the diamond and becomes a human robot. And the diamond becomes his heart.

[Bear]

Wow.

[Lee]

The robot man shoots golden tickets out of himself because he is also a ticket making factory. People start to find the tickets on the ground. They show them to the news and learn. The ticket gets them a free trip to Las Vegas. But the tickets are magic and turn the people who found them into robots too.

[Peter]

Uh oh.

[Lee]

Once they get to Las Vegas, they start covering the city in popcorn. The human light bulb who got his powers in a lightning storm created by another Superhero. Lightning strike 200 years ago.

[Peter]

Wow.

[Lee]

Showed up. He created a thundercloud that zapped the robots burying the city and turned them back into humans. He zapped the popcorn to clean the city. He also zapped the robot man that came from the egg who fell apart. His diamond crystal heart was put in the museum and the parts of the robot were used to make new robots. The new robots, along with the farmer, helped repair the city and protect it. From then on, everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

[Peter]

Whoa, Lee. Just the image, the imagery at the very beginning where farmer's like good morning chickens and suddenly there's an egg and it goes diamond and then it goes reforms into a person with I imagine the diamond heart still sort of sparkling through its chest. Is beautiful.

[Lee]

Really, really well done by Henry. The descriptive language that Henry's using is so good. You know, this is like one of these stories that we get where there's like a million crazy details. And sometimes those stories don't always hang together, but somehow this one is so skillfully written by Henry that I managed to like, the details don't feel superfluous at all. Yes, they feel cohesive. Feels really cohesive. Really justified. The backstory of the human light bulb feels like I really understand where this superhero came from.

[Peter]

There's a history of superheroes in this world, right?

[Lee]

The origin of the Las Vegas disaster. Just like perfectly we get there. It's not just like Las Vegas was covered in popcorn. It's like here we're gonna start at the beginning. And it's super efficient in the way that they give all these backstories to the event, to the characters. It's just beautifully done.

[Peter]

And it feels right that a diamond hearted evil robot would go to Las Vegas. And so the robot is like, I shall use the media to get the word out and make a spectacle of it and then take us to the most spectacular city in the country, Las Vegas.

[Lee]

My diamond heart demands and I shall the most spectacular location for my things.

[Peter]

And I will bury you in the most spectacular treat there is.

[Bear]

Popcorn.

[Lee]

Incredible. Really fantastic story, Henry. Thank you for sending it in. To read all of today's story love stories, just head to storypirates.com and guess what Grown ups. You can find an even longer version of today's story love on YouTube. And growing up storylove isn't just the name of a segment on our show. It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program. To find out more about StoryLove, our digital creative writing program, StoryQuest, or our non profit arms story Pirates Changemakers. Check out the show notes for links. That's it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors Dylan and Wilder. And guess what? It is not too late to send us your stories. We respond to every single story we receive. Grown Ups. Your link to submit stories is in the show Notes for today's episode. We'll be back next week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Isabel Ericchio, Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, Lee Overtree and Brittany Stahl. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Additional production by Brett Toobin. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O' Neil and Alexis Simpson and contributing writing by Lee Overtree. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. Special guests Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow. This episode features performances by chris ferry, eric gerson, peter mcnerney, joshua nassar, megan o', neill, lee overtree, sasha rechler, rachel winitsky and nimini ware. The grouchy friends was written and produced by eric erskine.

[Bear]

Him.

[Peter]

Dear Nugget. Hi, it's Peter. How are you? I'm fine. Things on the ship have been pretty much the same lately. Rolo did invent a new kind of bean. No one is willing to try it yet. Except me. Though I think it tastes like a normal bean. I don't get what the big deal is. Well, that's it, I guess. I miss you, Nugget. I hope you're doing well, even though you're back to being a regular evil robot story pirate. Your friend, Peter.

[Lee]

Oh, hey, Peter.

[Peter]

Oh, hey, Lee.

[Lee]

Whatcha. Whatcha doing?

[Peter]

Just writing a letter to a friend. Cool.

[Lee]

I'm about to head to the ship post office. Want me to mail it for you?

[Peter]

No, that's okay. I'll just put it in this pile with the others.

[Bear]

Whoa.

[Lee]

That's a huge pile of unmailed letters.

[Peter]

It sure is.

[Lee]

Um, hey, I found some old beef jerky under one of the car seats. You want it?

[Peter]

Do I want old beef jerky? Yes, I do. This is the best day ever. Oh, it's really old. What was I doing?