← Story Pirates
Story Pirates
The White Color Box/The Villain Who Couldn’t Villain (feat. Britt Lower and Ana Egge)
00:40:17
Baby With a Mustache is adopted by a giant chihuahua (Britt Lower).
Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:02]
Lee Overtree
Hey, story pirates podcast listeners. Lee here. On today's episode, baby with a mustache decides to adopt a dog. But it turns out to be a wee bit more complicated than she expected. Also, we have two incredible special guests. The wonderful actor Britt Lauer, and the fantastic musician and singer Anna Egge. And of course, we have two brand new stories. Grown ups. Remember, you can access the ad free version of the show by visiting storypirates.com creatorclub or. Or by subscribing right in Apple Podcasts. Two brand new stories and some very interesting dogs. Coming up right after a few words for the grownups. I want to get a dog. I would like to have a dog. Please let me have a dog. Hello, everybody. Can I have a dog? I want a dog. Baby with a mustache. Are you okay in there? You've been in the bathroom for a really long time and you're not even potty trained. I'm fine. Just practicing some sentences in the mirror. You've got this. Baby with a mustache. I want to get a dog. I want to get a dog. Okay, here we go. Hey, baby with a mustache. How's it going? I wanted you to dog. Sorry, what was that? Whoops. I got too excited. Okay, deep breath. Everybody listen up. I want to get a dog. Oh, boy. Baby with a mustache. Have a seat. I think we should talk about this. Dogs are a big responsibility. Pets can be a lot of work. I literally don't care. I'll take care of it. It will be my best friend. Maybe when you're older, we can think about getting a dog when you're a toddler with a mustache. Or maybe an 8 year old with a mustache. I want a dog now. I want a puppy today. Puppies pee and poop everywhere. They eat shoes. But it's not all good things. Sometimes they can be loud too. Don't care. Not my problem. You know what? Let's ask Rachel about this. She had a pet lamb and a bunch of beach pigs. Uh, hey, Rachel, isn't pet ownership a very big and difficult responsibility? Sure it is, Leigh. But it was also the greatest joy of my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat. And I recommend it to everyone. Uh, oh, well, then let's ask Rolo. He got a space puppy in a previous episode and it was quite the handful. Right, Rolo? It was, but it was also the greatest joy of my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat. And I recommend it to everyone. Oh, come on. See? I want a dog. I want a dog. I want a dog today. Well, thankfully we're in the middle of the ocean. There aren't any dogs for miles. Hey everybody. Hey Nin, Minnie. Did you see the ocean billboard we just passed? It says dog adoption event today. It's at the next island up ahead. Anyways, what were you all talking about before I walked up? Uh oh. Dog adoption event today. The next island up ahead. Let's get a dog. Let's get a dog. Let's get a dog. Peter, why are you encouraging this? Oh, sorry, I just. I just really like chanting. I really like chanting. I really like chanting. Everybody. Oh no. I love storytelling. I'm very different from everybody. Confusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. We have to send that in. The power to change someone's mind. I believe all of the things in my story. Sorry. Human beings are just able to create the story. Pirates. Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast everyone. Where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs and we're getting a dog. No, no, no, no. We are not getting a dog. We agreed that we could stop by the dog adoption event just to see what it's all about. But we are not getting a dog. We're probably getting. No. Taking stories written by kids and turning them into sketch comedy and songs is a full time job. Well, it's at least two to three days a week. We don't have time to take care of a dog. I thiiiiii. We're gonna get a dog. Oooh. The island is coming up. I see it up ahead. But first let's do a story. Okay listeners, before we hear the musical adaptation of our first story, here's the original story that the author sent in from seven year old Bihan. Here's the white color box. Ahem. I was painting on the rocks. White color box was not opening. I called rescue service. Mr. Rabbit came. He can't open the white color box. Rabbits are little. They are not so strong. Next, Mr. Elephant came. He put his trunk in white color box and swallowed it. And he vomited. Then Mr. Lion came. He tried to open the box. His nails broke. Then Mr. Kangaroo jumped on the box. His feet hurt. Then Mr. Monkey, he opened the box. He painted lion's nails. Monkey will massage kangaroo's legs. Next, monkey gave carrots to rabbit and broccolis to elephant. We all got upon elephant's back. The end. And now let's hear the song we made of that story featuring one of today's incredible special guests, Anna Ege. Here's the author to Introduce it. Hi, my name is Vihan and I'm seven years old and I live in Ontario. This is my story. The white color box. I was painted on the rocks. I could not open the white colored box. I did what I had to. I made the rescue service call. Mr. Rabbit came by. He can't open the box. Rabbits are little. Mr. Elephant came. He put his trunk in the box. He swallowed it whole and spit it back out. I was painted on the rocks. I could not open the white colored box. I did what I had to. I made the rescue service call. Mrs. Lion came by and she tried and she tried but all her nails broke. Kangaroo tried to jump but her feet hurt too much. She had had enough. She had finally. Monkey arrived and he opened the box and he painted Lion's legs. He massaged Kangaroo's legs. He gave purple carrots to Rabbit and some broccoli to Elephant. They all got up on elephants back. They heard the phone ring. No time to. Someone else had made the rescue service call. Someone else that made the rescue service call. But more importantly, there it is up ahead. The island with the dog adoption event. Rolo, pull over here. You got it. Testing out the ship's new turn signal. And the backup beeper. And the parking trombone. Alright, we've arrived. Have fun story pirates. Okay, remember everyone, we're just visiting this island so that baby with a mustache can meet some dogs. We're not adopting any today. Yeah, yeah, we'll see about that. Oh wow. Look everybody. It's our first dog to meet. Welcome to Dog Island. Oh my goodness. Is that a. A, it looks like some sort of 10 foot tall Chihuahua. That's me. Oh my goodness. It can. It can tap dance. Yes, it's my passion. I was gonna say talk. Yes, I can talk as well. I speak English, Spanish, Japanese and un poco italiano. All the dogs on Dog island know how to talk. All of the dogs on Dog Island. Wow. And it's not just a 10 foot tall Chihuahua. I see a 12 foot tall Corgi over there. Hello. I see a beagle the size of a house. Will he and I see a coconut tree. Or are we still focused on the gigantic dogs? Can someone explain to us why the dogs are all so gigantic? Um, I feel like that's a little rude, but to answer your question, that's just how things are on Dog Island. All of the dogs are at least 10ft tall. And we can all talk to us. It's normal. We saw a billboard in the ocean that said there was a dog adoption event here today? Yeah, we came here because I want to adopt a dog. Oh. Oh, no. I see. Okay, there's been a misunderstanding. Justin, come here. Is that a 15 foot tall goldendoodle? I think so. Justin, I told you the billboard was confusing. They think it's an event where humans can adopt dogs. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll call the billboard place right now and have it changed. Uh, woof, woof, woof. Bark, bark. Ruff bark. Ooh, bark. Thank you. I'm sorry, but if this isn't an event where humans can adopt dogs, then what is it? Today, Dog island is holding a special event where we dogs can meet humans to adopt. We just think people are so cute and adorable and make incredible pets. You know what they say, a man is a dog's best friend. We hope to rescue some amazing little humans today and send them to their forever home. Ah. Well, that was a bit of a twist. Sounds fun, though. But, but, but, but I want a dog. Well, there are some families who would love to meet all of you. Are any of you housebroken? Some of us, yes. Wonderful. Ugh. Oh, here's my daughter, lola. She's a 12 foot tall puppy. And here's my husband, Roger. He's a 19 foot tall cocker spaniel. Mom, dad, look at all the humans. Can we get one? Can we get one, please? No. Lola, remember, I might be helping with the adoption event. But we are just meeting the humans today. Humans are a lot of work and it's a big responsibility. But I want a human. I'll take care of it, I swear. Hello, Lola. Hello, Roger. Where are the story pirates? They're all so small and so cute. Mom, can we get one, please? Well, she makes a good point. They are really small and really cute. What do you think, Roger? Oh, I don't know. Let's see. Hey, little buddy, what's your name? I'm Peter. Aw, he's so cute. I like how he has fur on his face but not on his head. Do you like treats, Peter? Here you go. I have treats. Treats. Oh. Oh, wow. Well, maybe he loves treats a little too much. Guilty as charged. Bark. What? What about this one? What's your name? I'm Rachel. Aw. Do you know any tricks, Rachel? I'm learning how to sit. And I think I'll get it eventually. Here, let me try. Nope, Sorry. No. Close. Hmm, Maybe not her. Ooh. What about this one? What's your name? I'm Baby with a mustache. It's perfect. It's tiny. I love it. I love it. I want it. Oh, I want it. Lola, we talked about this. All humans are a handful, but especially baby humans. It might look small, but it's a big responsibility. I'll feed it and take it for a walk every day and play fetch. Please, please, please. Oh, she's giving us the puppy dog eyes. Roger, should we give it a shot? You promise you'll take care of it, Lola? Yes. Then okay. Yay. What do you say? Story Pirates Baby with a mustache. Would you like to be adopted by me and my family and live with us here on Dog Island? Yes. Yes. That sounds amazing. The only thing better than adopting a dog is getting adopted by a dog. Are you sure about this, Baby with a mustache? Are you sure about this, Lola? Yes. Then it's done. We're all going to be so happy. We'll be right back after this Few words for the grownups. A new year means new opportunities. And if you've been thinking about starting your own business, let this be your sign to take the leap. Of course, this decision comes with a lot of questions like how do I get started? How do I come up with a brand? How do I sell stuff to people? What am I even going to sell? Well, if you have all those questions, you can take a deep breath because Shopify's got you. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open for business and get your first sale. With Shopify, you can get your store up and running easily with thousands of customizable templates. No coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop. Their powerful social media tools let you connect all your channels and create shoppable posts to help you sell everywhere people scroll. And Shopify makes it easy to manage all the details like shipping, taxes and payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff, like growing your business. The best time to start your business is right now. And with Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. Established in 2025. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com realm all lowercase go to shopify.com realm to start selling with Shopify today. Shopify.com realm Aren't adventurers supposed to have a specific purpose? What are you doing on this quest? Just meeting strangers? Yep. My purpose is to have no purpose, though I sort of find purpose as I go. My basket, it's missing. I have tried many means of defense, but none have yet proven successful. I just wish someone would succeed in Getting that darn sword. I am under attack by this ruffian. I want to be big and strong and fight evil. I have hope that if you show up at her door, she might listen. Want to help me? Yell at them with your sword in a threatening manner. Sidequesting is a fantasy podcast about avoiding the main plot. It follows Ryan, an adventurer who's willing to help just about anyone out, as long as they're not being asked to deal with that scary wizard everyone keeps talking about. Subscribe today on your favorite podcast app. So we've left Baby with a Mustache on Dog island with her new family, and we're back on the ship. Great recap. Thank you. Oh, it's so strange not having her around quieter. It smells a lot better. But I do kind of miss her. She was a part of the family. Yeah. Without Baby with a mustache, it feels like we're suddenly missing a. We're missing, like, a baby with a mustache. Totally. I wonder how she's doing. I hope she's happy with her new family of gigantic dogs. I wonder what's happening right now on Dog Island. Baby with a mustache. Fetch. Okay. Yay. Fetch again. Okay, Lola, Baby with a Mustache, it's dinner time. No. I want to play fetch forever. Throw me the ball. Throw me the ball. Throw me the ball. We have to take a break to eat dinner. I don't want dinner. I want fetch. Oh. Oh. Now I want to go over here and eat dirt. Oh. Um, that's actually Dad's favorite plant, so maybe he don't. Ugh. Oh, no, it's not my favorite plant. Baby with a mustache. No. Come on. I do stuff like this all the time on my ship. I'm just a baby with a mustache. Dinner time. Baby with a Mustache. We researched human food and put some really good stuff in your bowl here. Some hamburgers, some popcorn, and some salad. Enjoy. I don't want any of that. I want gnocchi. It's kind of like in between a pasta and a dumpling. Um, okay, well, maybe tomorrow we can get you some gnocchi. But tonight, this is your dinner. I mean, it looks like some really good human food. Yum, yum, yum. I don't want it. Oh. Oh, dear. Roger, Lola, let's just sit down at the table at our dinner. Maybe once we're eating, Baby with a Mustache will eat her stew. Okay. Mmm. Dinner looks good. How was everybody's day? Baby with a mustache. No, no, no. She's jumping on the table and eating all of our food. A bad human. Bad Boss. Okay, Baby with a mustache. We're just going out for a few minutes. You'll be home by yourself. Be good. Just a few minutes. Come back. Come back. Oh, where did they go? Come back. My goodness. She screamed the whole time we were gone. Ah, looks like she had several accidents all over the floor. Those were not accidents. Lola, honey, listen. We tried, but this human baby is a big handful for a little giant dog like you to take care of. Huh? Yeah, she's a lot harder to take care of than I thought. Maybe she'd be happier on her ship with the rest of the story. Pirates. I think you might be right. It might be nice to be back on the ship. So we're in agreement, here on the ship, we all miss baby with a mustache. Look, there she is. It's baby with a mustache. She's flying in on a parachute. Hi, everybody. My dog family decided to get rid of me because I was so annoying. Yay. And I decided I wanted to come home. We missed you, baby with a mustache. I missed you too. And I learned an important lesson today on Dog Island. I learned that pets are a big responsibility. I don't think I'm ready to be one. Or to have one. Maybe I should wait to get a dog until I'm a toddler with a mustache. Or an 8 year old with a mustache. That sounds like a great idea. Now, should we do another story? Yeah. And here to introduce it is the author. Hi, my name is Henry, I'm eight years old and I live in Oregon. And my story is called the Villain who Couldn't. Villain. Alright, fellow villains, before we head out to begin today's villainy, I've called this meeting so we can avoid what happened last week at Westnidge Avenue. Don't look at me, the sorceress. I was there on time. I'm not looking at you, robot. I'm staring down the other villain in the room. You mean me? Yes, I mean you, the beast. Whom else would I be talking about? Oh, maybe me. I'm only two feet tall sometimes. Folks over. I definitely didn't mean you, villainous villain. And let's be clear. You're only here because we needed to use your castle for this meeting. Come on, I have more than that to offer. Oh, really? The most evil thing you did at Westmedge Ave was to tell that kid he couldn't get in the ball pit. Remember that? But I'm the villainous villain. More like the villain who couldn't villain. Am I right? Yes, you are right. Us villains always Joking. But we better get going. Yeah, you're right. Let's go. Hey, who tied my shoelaces together? Go. See you round, villain. Who couldn't Villain Boosters activated. Guys, wait up. Wait up. Come on, wait up. Extra, extra. Read all about it. After heroes thwart villains at West Najev, villains thought to be run out of town. Boy, did you see those vi a villain on Westnet Avenue last week? Heh. Pitiful. It's hard to say if our heroes did really well or if those villains just stunk it up. Looks like the big city is safe. Cause of the bad guys incompetence and inability to work together. Here come the villains. Hello, city. We're back. All three of us four. All four of us four. Hi, I'm here. If you think your heroes are going to save you, think again. Not so fast, villains. Tis I, the Crimson Catapult. And us too, Darren and Karen, the towering tall super twins. We're surprised to see you here, villains, after the way we embarrassed you on West Edge Avenue. Okay, okay. Now that we've acknowledged all six heroes and villains through an appropriate level of trash talking, I think it's time for this super battle to be. Excuse me. Hey, Mr. Crimson. Huh? Good to see you. Uh, loser? I'm sorry, have we met? It's me, the villain who couldn't villain. I mean, villainous villain. But it's okay. You must be bad with names. No, no, I'm pretty good with them. It's literally one of my superpowers. Well, you just. Whoa. Stinky smoke everywhere. Thanks for distracting them so we could set off the this smoke bomb, little guy. Yes, that's exactly what I was doing. What should I do next? Get out of the way and leave the real villainy to us. Why don't you turn invisible and get lost? But that's actually him. Come out to the battlefield and meet us, you villains. Come on, guys, let's go. Oh man, I bet they don't even know that my superpower actually is invisibility. Either way, that's exactly how those villains make me feel. I might as well be invisible. Take this, Crimson Catapult. The Beast's claws cut through that iron bar like full fat butter. Activate robot ray. Everyone duck. Darren, I'm coming. Not so fast. Karen's caught in the Sorceress field of imminent doom. Crimson, you'll have to run at the speed of light to get her out of that field. Here I go. Gotcha. Karen, are you all right? I'll be okay. But if we're going to beat them, we have to act together. Together? Wow. Those heroes are taking a lot of risks to help each other. The villains would never do that. Sorceress. Robot, come over here. I could use an extra set of hands. Take care of yourself. I'm busy. Yeah, buzz off the Beast. It's clear I'll never be part of their team. I can't believe I'm about to do this. But. Visible. Ah, the tiny villain who couldn't. Villain? What's his name again? Steve. I'm the villainous villain. Whoa, I was way off. I want to help you defeat these villains. Really? But why? Well, I. No time to explain, Tiny villain. Do your thing. Here I go. Invisible invisibility. Very cool. Oh, thanks. Now I'll start with robot. Hahahaha. This is going way better than the Westmedge Ave incidents. We're winning. If I can get to his control panel, I think I can reprogram him and and take him down. I'll jump on his back. Open his control panel. Robot, your control panel just fell off. Mind your own business, sorceress. And submit. Cause I'm Zor. There. Time to scram. Wow. Robot looks like it's doing a terrible representation of the chicken dance while punishing. Punching itself in the face. One down, two to go. Robot, I tried to warn you. Now to deal with the sorceress. I'll just turn that magic diamond on top of her staff upside down while I'm invisible like this. Then reveal myself. Visible. Huh? Villain who couldn't. Villain. What are you still doing here? I'm here to fight you. Fine. I hate to do this, but. Ah. Ah. My magic crystal exploded. And now time for the Beast. Invisible. You heroes don't stand a chance. I'm going to win this fight and take home all the villain glory for myself. Visible. Hey, The Beast. Hey, pipsqueak. Come to apply for the job of being my sidekick? You wish. No, you wish that you were an actual villain. Well, you know what that makes me? What? Come over here and I'll show you. Okay. This is gonna be fu. Oh. Who tied my shoelaces together? No fair. Where? Where? Boo hoo. Wow. Villainous villain. You used the Beast's own massive body weight against him. Boy, I sure am defeated. The big city is safe again. And we couldn't have done it without you. All I ever wanted was to belong to a team. It felt nice to be a part of something. Even if I am a villain who couldn't. Villain. Hey, you know what that makes you, right? No, what? A hero. Really? Welcome to the team. Let's get a cheer for. I'm sorry. This is so embarrassing, but what was your name again? Steve. How about you call me Tiny? Love that. Hooray. The end. And now, Lee speaks with the author. Henry, I'm so excited to talk to you. I'm so excited to talk to you, too. So in your story, the villain was really underestimated by all of the other villains because he was only 2ft tall. But I was wondering, have you ever felt underestimated in your life? Yeah. Why? You could. At recess on my first day of school, a big kid came and called me small. I yelled back at him, size is relative. At last. What an incredible comeback. Had you used that before? Did you come up with it on the spot? I came up with it on the spot. Can you explain for anyone who might not know what that means, what it means to say size is relative? Well, like, to a really small guy, an average guy is the size of a whale. And to a whale, an average guy is really, really small. I love in your story that the villains have this choice where they could either be kind and accepting to the other villain, or they could be mean and insensitive and not include him. And I'm wondering, have you ever had a time in your life where you had to choose between being kind to someone or being something else? Yeah. One day at school, there was a new kid at school, and at recess, me and my friends were playing together, and I saw the new kid swamped by a wall and looking sad. And I had the option to leave him alone or be nice to him and include him in our play. And I choose to include him in our play. Sometimes it feel like life is full of tough decisions like that. Yeah. And then when we make a choice, it kind of shapes who we are too, right? Yeah. I feel like if you make a different choice than the one you were deciding to make, it, like, changes reality. What about in the real world? What makes a hero a hero? Good behavior and the power to change someone's mind. What about a villain? What makes a villain a villain in the real world? Bad behavior and the power to change someone's mind so they have that in common. The power to change someone's mind. Yeah. Henry, thank you for letting us perform your amazing story. Thank you for adapting the story. You're welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day. Okay, I will. Thank you. Bye, Henry. And now it's time for Story Pirates. Roll call. Send us your story. We read them all. We read them all. You love. We love Them. First up, we have a story From Sylvie, a 10 year old in Australia called Bad Chair. And I love this story for two reasons. First of all, it's based on a photo that Silvie took. And Silvie describes the photo this way. I took a photo of a chair with hard armrests and this is my story. So Silvie, I just love that you're using a photo, an image as inspiration like we've been talking about so much this season. But Silvie's story also has some very, very good advice if you have a bad chair in your life or an evil chair as this chair turns out to be. Because there is one thing you always do when a chair turns evil. You tie it to a wall and feed it cheese. Duh. Sylvie, thank you for your incredible story. Next up, from a six year old in Arizona named Jonah, we have a story called the Evil Shape Shifting Piece of Toast. And the shapeshifter in Jonah's story, AKA the piece of toast does one of my favorite things to happen in stories, which is, see, there is a good warrior and the good warrior has a twin brother. And the evil shapeshifter captures the twin brother, then shapeshifts into the twin brother and infiltrates the good warrior's life. It's amazing strategy for being an evil shape shifting piece of toast. Jonah, thank you so much for sending us your story. And finally, from 12 year old Jude in Florida, we have the turtle who ran for president. And I'm just gonna read this whole thing. Once there was a turtle, but this was not a normal turtle. No, this turtle ran for president one day. He was getting ready for his first debate, but because he was a turtle, he was super, super slow. So slow he missed the debate. But not just the debate. He missed the entire presidential term. Finally, he made it to the debate, but it was seven years later. Later on he was elected and became the first animal president. The end. Jude, excellent work, my friend. To read all of today's Roll Call stories, just head to storypirates.com that was. And now it's time for you to write us a story. And if you don't know where to start, here's the idea. Take a picture like Sylvie did in her story, and then make up a story of what you imagine could be happening in the picture. Also like this from Bihan, the author of the White Color Box. So Bihan, can you describe your picture for me? The picture is about an avocado. Okay, so the picture is just a plain avocado. So Tell me what your idea for what could be happening in this picture is. There was a boy called Andrew who accidentally swallowed an avocado seed. Vine grew on his body. His face turned green. He became an avocado monster. He plucked the dragon fruit from the plant and he ate them with skin. He became very strong. You see, listeners, sometimes writing a story is about finding an image that inspires you. Grown ups can submit stories@storypirates.com and remember, we respond to every single story we receive. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening and a big thanks to today's authors, Bi, Hun and Henry. We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye. The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirate Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Hannah Cox, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Roll Call theme by Andrew Barbada. Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell. Our head writers are Rachel Winitsky and David Sidorov. Contributing writers are Peter McNerney, Megan O'Neill, Lee Overtree and Alexis Simpson. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. Special guests Britt Lauer and Anna Egg. This episode features performances by Eric Austin, Sasha Diamond, Woody Fu, Kristen Henley, Martha Marion, Peter McNerney, Joshua Nassar, Megan O'Neil, Rebecca Robles, Peter Russo, Rachel Winitsky, Steve White, Harry Wood, Nimini Ware and Brandon Zelman. The white color box was written by Anna Egge and produced by Jack Mitchell. Special thanks to Roxy. Okay, everyone's gone. Come here, boy. Come here. Sh. No one can know about you, little puppy. You're my secret little puppy. I love you. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Hey, Lee, I have a quick question. What? You have a dog. What? No, Peter, this is, um, not a dog. It's a. It's a piano. That doesn't look like a piano. But it is one. See? I'll play it. I'm playing the piano. Wow, Lee, you are really good at that. Thanks. Oh, hey, did you have a question for me? Oh, yes. Can I eat some of that dog food you put in the pantry? Sure, no problem. Nice. Thanks. Can I pet your piano?