Dan Miller is back, and this time we are talking about the side of purity culture that almost never gets center stage: how it messes with men. While purity culture is usually framed around controlling women’s bodies and desires, Dan helps us unpack how men and those socialized as male are shaped by shame, fear, and some wildly unhealthy expectations. From being taught they are inherently dangerous to being trapped in rigid ideas of masculinity, this conversation looks at how purity culture limits emotional range, intimacy, and even basic self understanding long after people have deconstructed the theology.

We get into everything from the predator versus protector binary to the loneliness epidemic among men, why anger becomes the only socially acceptable emotion, and how the “slippery slope” logic around touch wrecks healthy connection. Dan also walks through what healing can actually look like, including somatic awareness, parts work, and relearning how to experience pleasure and desire without shame. We wrap by talking about what it might look like to raise boys differently, with more room for emotions, curiosity, and care. Equal parts thoughtful, validating, and gently unhinged in the best way, this episode is for anyone trying to unlearn the damage purity culture did to their body, their relationships, or their sense of self.

Connect with Dan:

Website: CTRR Practitioner bio page

Social Media: Straight White American Jesus Podcast, Co-Host, Instagram: @straightwhitejc, Twitter: @straightwhitejc

Email: danielmillerswaj@gmail.com

Resources discussed in this episode:

Jesus and John Wayne by Kristen Kobes duMez

This podcast is brought to you by the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery: an online trauma coaching company whose practitioners are trauma informed and trauma trained to work with individuals, couples and families who have experienced high control religion, cults, and religious trauma. For more information on the support that CTRR provides, for resources–including courses, workshops, and more–head to traumaresolutionandrecovery.com or follow us on Instagram: @traumaresolutionandrecovery

The views and opinions expressed by Sunday School Dropouts are those of the hosts and not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery. Any of the content provided by our guests, sponsors, authors, or bloggers are their own ideas and opinions.

The Sunday School Dropouts podcast is not anti-religion but it is anti -harm, -power and control, -oppression and, -abuse and will speak to the harmful practices and messaging of fundamentalist groups.

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Hosts:

Laura Anderson and Andrew Kerbs

Music by Benjamin Faye Music @heytherebenji

How Patriarchy & Purity Culture Shape Men