Sustain This! Podcast Episode Summary
Title: Everything you're getting WRONG about The Fantasy Self (plus a better way to think about it!)
Hosts: Alyssa Beltempo, Signe Hansen, & Christina Mychas
Release Date: January 28, 2025

I. Introduction to the Episode

In this insightful episode of Sustain This!, hosts Alyssa Beltempo, Christina Mychas, and Signe Hansen delve into the concept of the "Fantasy Self" within the realm of personal style and mindful consumption. Moving beyond the conventional critique of the fantasy self, the trio explores how this idealized version of oneself can serve as a positive force in shaping authentic habits and a more intentional lifestyle.

II. Understanding the Fantasy Self

Christina initiates the discussion by defining the "Fantasy Self" as an idealized version of ourselves that often influences our shopping habits. She highlights the common issue where wardrobes, populated by items bought with the fantasy self in mind, fail to meet everyday needs.

Christina [00:30]: "The fantasy self is essentially this idealized version of ourselves that we want to be. And we often shop with the fantasy self in mind, but it can often turn into a problem where our closet doesn't really serve our everyday needs and our actual everyday life."

III. Reframing the Fantasy Self as the Aspirational Self

The conversation takes a positive turn as the hosts discuss rebranding the fantasy self as the "Aspirational Self." This shift emphasizes using the fantasy self as a guiding star rather than a rigid ideal.

Sina [01:48]: "I really like that as the aspirational piece and something that can almost feel like a mentor."

Alyssa concurs, referring to the fantasy self as an aspirational entity that inspires gradual and authentic lifestyle changes.

IV. Implementing Fantasy Self through Goals and Habits

Christina draws parallels between personal goals and the fantasy self, suggesting that visualizing one's ideal day—including attire—can facilitate the formation of new habits aligned with that vision.

Christina [02:51]: "If it's a version of yourself, like, what does that perfect day look like? Like, what are you wearing?... It also can help you shape the person you want to be or the routines that you want to build."

The hosts reference James Clear's Atomic Habits to illustrate how identity-based goals can effectively bridge the gap between current behavior and desired self.

Christina [04:38]: "Atomic Habits is such a good read for anything like that."

Alyssa [05:34]: "I liked that. Like, confirming the identity and your clothes can help you do that too."

V. Practical Applications: Style Icons and Realism

The discussion shifts to the practical aspects of embodying the fantasy self, particularly through style icons. Christina uses Amy Smilovic from TIBI as an example, emphasizing the importance of adapting inspiration to fit one's personal context and environment.

Christina [07:11]: "She's wearing socks and sandals in November. We have Arctic Wind here. We can't."

Sina adds that removing outfits from their original context can help individuals determine what truly resonates with their personal style and lifestyle.

Sina [10:44]: "Take that outfit that you feel drawn to and place it out of that context and try to put it into your own context. And will it still work as well?"

VI. Personal Experiences and Examples from Hosts

Each host shares personal anecdotes illustrating how they navigate their fantasy selves:

• Christina discusses her struggle with copying styles too literally, leading to purchases that don't align with her actual preferences or climate.

Christina [08:34]: "Sometimes it makes me question what I like or what I think is cool because... everyone’s got things wrong."

• Alyssa reflects on embracing a more glamorous version of herself by incorporating heels into her daily attire, symbolizing a shift towards her aspirational identity.

Alyssa [20:17]: "I'm just dressing in accordance with that human... and it seems like she wears thigh highs."

VII. The Role of Style Affirmations

Sina introduces the concept of style affirmations as a tool to reinforce the identity of the fantasy self. These affirmations help integrate new habits and encourage confidence in adopting new style elements.

Sina [25:25]: "I enjoy getting dressed, and there's nothing wrong with it."

Alyssa expands on this by emphasizing the reciprocal relationship between clothes and identity, where each informs and enhances the other.

Alyssa [05:39]: "Clothes can help you do that too. One informs the other."

VIII. Conclusions and Takeaways

The episode concludes with the hosts affirming that embracing the fantasy self, when done authentically, can lead to meaningful personal growth and a more intentional wardrobe. They encourage listeners to view the fantasy self as a flexible guide rather than an unattainable ideal, fostering a harmonious balance between aspiration and reality.

Christina [26:45]: "Life is short, you know, wear the lipstick, wear the heels... that feels good."

Listeners are invited to engage with their own fantasy selves by identifying aspirational habits and making incremental changes that reflect their desired identities.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Christina [00:30]: "The fantasy self is essentially this idealized version of ourselves that we want to be..."
• Sina [01:48]: "I really like that as the aspirational piece and something that can almost feel like a mentor."
• Christina [02:51]: "What does that perfect day look like?... It also can help you shape the person you want to be."
• Sina [10:44]: "Take that outfit that you feel drawn to and place it out of that context and try to put it into your own context."
• Alyssa [20:17]: "I'm just dressing in accordance with that human... and it seems like she wears thigh highs."
• Christina [26:45]: "Life is short, you know, wear the lipstick, wear the heels... that feels good."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Sustain This! offers a refreshing perspective on the fantasy self, transforming it from a potential source of style dissonance into a catalyst for personal and wardrobe evolution. By adopting incremental changes and authentic aspirations, listeners are empowered to cultivate a style that truly reflects their evolving identities.

For more insights and engaging discussions on mindful consumption and intentional living, subscribe to the Sustain This! podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Join the community on Instagram @SustainThisPodcast to share your own experiences and learnings.