Is “I Can’t Pull That Off” a Style Lie We Should Believe? (ep 100)

Summary

Sustain This! Podcast Episode 100 Summary: "Is 'I Can’t Pull That Off' a Style Lie We Should Believe?"

Release Date: June 10, 2025
Hosts: Alyssa Beltempo, Christina Mychas, & Signe Hansen
Description: In this milestone 100th episode of Sustain This!, hosts Alyssa, Christina, and Signe delve deep into the concept of styles and outfits they feel they "can’t pull off." They explore whether these beliefs are genuine limitations or socially constructed myths, offering personal insights and practical advice for embracing a more authentic and intentional wardrobe.

---

1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with a warm welcome from Alyssa, Christina, and Sina (Signe), the podcast's color consultant and slow fashion style coach. Amid light-hearted banter and a humorous exchange about cookies, the hosts set the stage for today’s topic: exploring the idea of certain clothing items or styles that they believe they cannot successfully wear.

Alyssa [00:00]: "Welcome to Sustain this, a podcast where we discuss mindful consumption, personal style, and the quest for living a more intentional life."

2. Defining "Pulling Off" Styles

The central theme revolves around the notion of "pulling off" specific styles. Christina suggests reframing this idea from an inability to a matter of personal preference and suitability.

Christina [03:03]: "I want to say it's more of a. It doesn't feel right and it never has felt right. So it's like this is just more. I love it, I'm attracted to it, but it's not for me."

Alyssa concurs, emphasizing that the phrase "I can't pull that off" may undermine personal agency and choice.

Alyssa [03:16]: "It's not that we can't. Yeah, it's not yet. Because I don't like that verbiage either."

3. Romantic Fashion and Personal Limits

Alyssa shares her love for romantic styles—frilly, flowy, and sheer garments—and discusses her journey to finding a balance that feels authentic to her.

Alyssa [01:45]: "I love a really romantic look. Like, I just love it. I think it's beautiful."

However, she acknowledges her limits in embracing overly embellished or embroidered pieces, selecting simpler items to maintain comfort and personal integrity.

Alyssa [02:56]: "It has to go or if it's like, I have this in yellow... I can't go full on frilly or even things that are embroidered or overly embellished."

4. Balancing Style with Personality Traits

The conversation shifts to how personal personality traits influence style choices. Alyssa reflects on her engaging and vibrant personality clashing with more embellished clothing, leading her to prefer minimalist and structured pieces.

Alyssa [11:20]: "When I'm in these equally loud and interesting pieces, I feel like a clown. And I think they clash with my personality."

Christina relates by discussing her straightforward and direct nature, which aligns more with solid, structured outfits rather than busy patterns or designs.

Christina [12:42]: "I think that's part of my personality. A lot of me is like very... I think I'm Very direct."

5. Understanding Proportions and Patterns

A significant portion of the discussion centers on body proportions and how they affect the ability to wear certain patterns and styles. Christina shares her struggles with high-waisted jeans, preferring mid-rise options that better suit her proportions.

Christina [17:19]: "I need a mid rise. I am a mid rise girly."

Alyssa adds insights on how different patterns and silhouettes can complement or detract from one’s body shape, highlighting the importance of understanding personal proportions.

Alyssa [15:10]: "There's a name for it. So we'll. I'll try and find."

6. The Concept of Flattering

The hosts delve into the multifaceted concept of what it means for clothing to be "flattering." They distinguish between societal standards of flattering—often tied to achieving a particular body shape—and personal definitions that prioritize comfort and fit.

Christina [31:22]: "There's a few different interpretations of it. There's one flattering where it's like, okay, I gotta look as skinny and my boobs have to look as big as possible... And then there's flattering where it's like, oh, this just looks right on me."

Alyssa echoes this sentiment, stressing that true flattering comes from how a person feels in their clothes rather than conforming to external expectations.

Alyssa [32:08]: "We carry ourselves differently in our clothes. Like, you can just tell when someone's more comfortable in their... what they're wearing."

7. Personal Experiences and Insights

Christina shares specific experiences with clothing items she once desired but found unflattering, such as a milky white dress that felt overly conservative and did not complement her body.

Christina [08:13]: "It just felt like I was gonna go milk a cow. Like it was just not."

Alyssa discusses her own journey with square necklines, acknowledging that while others admire them, she personally doesn’t feel aligned with that style despite its aesthetic appeal.

Alyssa [21:06]: "I can pull them off. They look great for... everyone’s like, oh, it looks so good. But it's not my most... I don't like myself in it as much."

They both highlight the importance of experimenting with different styles to discover what genuinely resonates and feels comfortable.

8. Conclusion and Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, Christina emphasizes the importance of abandoning limiting beliefs and embracing personal preferences without self-deprecation.

Christina [33:32]: "It's just more. I've tried this and it didn't, I just didn't like it. It didn't feel great. It didn't feel good."

Alyssa reinforces the message that understanding and honoring one's own style preferences leads to greater confidence and satisfaction with one’s wardrobe.

Alyssa [31:22]: "It's just about understanding and knowing what you like best and what resonates with you most."

The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their own style choices, challenging societal norms and embracing what truly makes them feel empowered and authentic.

Christina [33:59]: "It's just more... I think that's, I think that's an important distinction."

Key Quotes

• Christina [03:03]: "It's not that we can't. Yeah, it's not yet."
• Alyssa [01:45]: "I love a really romantic look. Like, I just love it."
• Alyssa [15:35]: "We wear the same things and I feel really good."
• Christina [31:39]: "There's... there’s... it just lands in the correct place in the sense of, like, these jeans look like they fit me."
• Alyssa [32:08]: "We carry ourselves differently in our clothes."

---

Final Thoughts:
Episode 100 of Sustain This! serves as a thoughtful exploration of personal style boundaries and the societal myths surrounding what can or cannot be worn by certain individuals. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, Alyssa and Christina encourage listeners to redefine their style narratives, prioritize personal comfort, and cultivate a wardrobe that truly reflects their authentic selves.

Transcript

[Alyssa]

Welcome to Sustain this, a podcast where we discuss mindful consumption, personal style, and the quest for living a more intentional life. I'm Alyssa, a sustainable stylist.

[Christina]

And I'm Christina, a shopaholic turned minimalist. Ish.

[Sina]

And I'm Sina, a color consultant and slow fashion style coach.

[Alyssa]

Together we will unpack the nuances of what it really means to be a conscious consumer and find more joy in what we have right now. So grab your tea, your coffee, or whatever floats your boat and join us in the conversation. Let's go. Yay. Yay. Are you still.

[Christina]

Oh.

[Alyssa]

What. What's this? I don't see. Wait, what is that?

[Christina]

What are those? They're cookies.

[Alyssa]

They're chocolate chip cookies. Cookies.

[Christina]

I'm like, jeff, I need to go on a cut. And then I'm like, jeff, let's go get cookies.

[Alyssa]

Cookies. Amazing. Oh, my God. I love. But you're human.

[Christina]

I know, I know, I know. No, it's fine. It's. It's fine.

[Alyssa]

I just like you.

[Christina]

Yeah, he's joking around. Like, I. I work. I work hard in the gym, and I want to, like. I want it to look like that. Just a little bit more, just for the summer. And then you go back.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Christina]

Building.

[Alyssa]

Okay. Well, I. I feel like we. We see your muscles. Like, I see them in your shoulders.

[Christina]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, we were talking about, like, clothes and what. How we want things to fit and what we think we can wear, which is the topic of today's episode. We're going. Yes, welcome. Welcome back to the podcast, everyone. Thank you for being here today. We're talking about the fun subject of things that we can't pull off or maybe also that we just don't want to pull off and why there's a difference.

[Christina]

What do you think?

[Alyssa]

One. Well, okay. For me, I was thinking about this this morning. I. I love a really romantic look. Like, I just love it. I think it's beautiful. The frilly and the flowy and the sheer and all the things.

[Christina]

I feel like you're wearing a romantic top right now, and you're pulling it up. Great.

[Alyssa]

So thank you. What I've discovered. I've discovered my, like, happy medium. Like, the max threshold of romantic that I can go. And this is it. Like, the.

[Christina]

Yeah, it, like, can't be pink with flowers. It has to go.

[Alyssa]

No, it has to be. Or if it's like, I have this in yellow. It's like the poet's blouse, but then it has to be worn with jeans or a trouser and a pointy something to balance it. Like, I can't go full on frilly or even things that are embroidered or overly embellished. And it makes me so sad because that's what I'm attracted to the most. And I just.

[Christina]

Yeah. You know what? One thing I want to say this episode is like, things that we wish we could pull off but can't. Slash, don't.

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Christina]

I want to say. I don't want to say we can't. I want to say it's more of a. It doesn't feel right and it never has felt right. So it's like this is just more. I love it, I'm attracted to it, but it's not for me. And it's something that I admire instead.

[Alyssa]

Of a hundred percent. You're right. Sorry. It's not that we can't. Yeah, it's not yet. Because I don't like that verbiage either. When it's like, oh, I can't pull that.

[Christina]

It feels very. I feel like it takes away a lot of your power and like the. You know, so.

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alyssa]

Totally. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing that you can't wear, but it has to feel right. Like, I did. So I realized that even. But even more so even this. Like, I don't. I don't think I look my best in this, but I. I like it because I like it. And I'm indulging that part of me that wants the frilly and romantic but. But like a killer 100% Alyssa look. Like, if I. If that's how I want to feel, then I'm gonna go for like a simple crew or a button up shirt and a ball cap. Like, I did a video the other day, the travel capsule video, and the look that I liked the most on myself was when I was wearing my black ball cap and I had taken my black long sleeve merino crew and tucked it into my bra so that it was a crop and my black leggings, like, I was like sporty. Sporty. Yeah, Sporty and minimal and like, that's it. And like, you know, we can't dress like that all the time. I can't dress like that all the time. So then the equivalent of that in, like, human going into civilization clothes is the button up shirt, a great pair of denim, and like a wicked heel or a loafer, the end. And then I'm like, Eliza, like, why do you even bother? Why do you even bother again? Or like a turtleneck. Turtleneck. Or even, you Know what else? Sporty. You know what just occurred to me? Sweatshirts. Not like a knit merino sweater.

[Christina]

Yeah, like a sweatshirt crew, like. Yes, I love those.

[Alyssa]

I have.

[Christina]

Oh, I was gonna say you said you like. Is that something that you said you think you can't pull off? I'm like, huh, no, sorry, I'm kind.

[Alyssa]

Of a little off topic. By understanding what I. What I don't or like, you know, the love. I love the romantic things. So the antonym is kind of this, like, masculinity, retro sport. And I'm realizing like, that those are the pieces that I feel and look a hundred percent in. So, like, maybe this is a good. You know, it's like, again, reframing. It's not that we can't wear things. It's like, okay, well, what's the antonym of this? And have we tried it? Cause it'll probably look great.

[Christina]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so too. I'm. I'm with you on the romance and the, the boho. And I tried it. I bought. I got a. Like a peasanty. Like a. One thing I actually learned, and I'm wearing a top like this right now. I actually feel. Not that I can't pull it off. I. I wear it all the time, but I actually feel better when I have more skin here.

[Alyssa]

Ooh.

[Christina]

And that is since I have started working out and like, all of this has been like, built and developed. I just find. I find myself needing more skin to bal. Like to help me breathe and balance out a little bit more. Like I said. Not to say that I can't pull it off, but it's just something that I've noticed since my body has changed slightly and thickened up a little bit.

[Alyssa]

Okay. In a good way.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Stronger. Well, especially because your blazers are very strong, solid pieces, so it's nice to balance.

[Christina]

And they usually have like the. The shoulder bat, the shoulder pad and stuff. So. Yeah, that's just something that I feel like I need a lot more lately. But so. But what I've noticed with that bringing back to, you know, peasanty and romantic is I bought this dress. It was like a milky made kind of dress. Yes, the white one. But I realized it. I think the main thing that didn't. I feel like it would have been better if it had more open. So it was like a. Almost like a muscle. Not even a muscle, but just. Just a straight sleeveless T shirt kind of silhouette on top. And it just felt so covered and so high up. And. Yeah, I felt. I felt very. My Mind wants to say conservative. That's not the word. I just felt like I was gonna go milk a cow. Like it was just not.

[Alyssa]

Oh, my God, I love that. Anyway, not what you do.

[Christina]

No. Maybe like a.

[Alyssa]

Too costumey.

[Christina]

Yes. Yeah, it literally felt like. It felt like a caricature. But I also feel like maybe it would have been slightly okay if was also like one of those, like tiered kind of peasant dresses. I feel like if it was a straight a line or like a straight skirt, it would have been better anyways. I just find anything poofy, billowy, romantic, peasanty. Yeah, It's a big no.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

What was it that attracted you to that dress in the first place, though? Like, when you bought it? What were you thinking? Like, were you like.

[Christina]

I wanted. I really liked that. I liked that white skirt. You know how, like, the white skirts were really big for the past few years. I actually really like the way it looks and I really wanted to push myself to get into dresses. And I thought, this is summery, it's cute. I can layer with it. I don't f. Cking know what I was thinking. I don't know. I was like, I think, I think because I keep hearing, like, I hear all the time, like, oh, you should dress more feminine or from people on.

[Alyssa]

Your channel, like people who, you know.

[Christina]

Directed at you, not people who I know in real life, no channel, say.

[Alyssa]

Oh, you should dress more feminine.

[Christina]

Yeah, Yeah. I got a lot of comments that I like that I dress very masculine or I should dress more feminine. And I'm like, you know what? Maybe, maybe because these are some. Maybe these are some, like, limiting beliefs that I have. But, you know, some things are just not. Some things are just not meant to be. But you know what? That. Well, I will say I do have a dress and I have a very nice slip dress that has the. It's like a square. It's very minimal, it's sleek. It's like a column style dress. So that I like. And I think that looks good. But the, that romance and the. The peasanty and the frills. Yeah, it's not a. It's not.

[Alyssa]

No, no, you tried.

[Christina]

You tried. And you know what? I don't think I could pull it off. I think it's just not. Yeah. Like, first of all, it doesn't feel like me, but I think it just doesn't look good. So.

[Alyssa]

Okay. Yeah, it almost feels. Well, like you said, like costumey.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

That doesn't suit me. Do you think any of it has to do Also with your personality, because that's one thing that I. I've had this discussion with the women in my community too, because we talk a lot about like taking up space with our clothes and not being afraid to make these bolder statements with our outfits. And I was saying that I have a hard time with these more embellished items because my personality is a lot like. I'm very engaging. I'm very like. I don't know how else I would describe it, but I know that about myself. And when I'm in these equally loud and interesting pieces, I feel like a. Like, I feel like a clown. And I. I think they clash with my personality.

[Christina]

So I would rather too. Too over the top or something.

[Alyssa]

Over the. Yeah, like, it's just over the top. So it doesn't have anything to do with my physicality.

[Christina]

Are you a Libra? What are you.

[Alyssa]

No, I'm a Gemini.

[Christina]

She's a Gemini. Okay. I was just gonna say maybe you want to balance the big with the. You know what I mean?

[Alyssa]

Well, that's a Gemini thing. Yeah. Oh, but Libra is more of a balance. But I guess because Gemini, we're always two faced. Right? So actually that's kind of interesting. So maybe it's like wanting to be both. I want to be both loud and quiet.

[Christina]

Oh, Christina. Oh, my God.

[Alyssa]

You just. We can.

[Christina]

I'm not that deep into. I'm not like that. I. Yeah, I enjoy it. I'm like, not that into it, but yeah, I like listening to like an Aquarius horoscope here and there.

[Alyssa]

Okay. What are the main traits of Aquarius and do you think they affect the things that resonate with you or not? And how you're very.

[Christina]

Yeah, like, we're very aloof. Is one like, I guess, like hard to read. Intellectual. Apparently we're leaders and like trendsetters. I don't know, thought leaders, stuff like that. I'm like. I don't know, maybe often in like positions of like. Like, I think it makes sense that I'm a pharmacist and an Aquarius. It's like very left brain, kind of. Okay. Yeah. And like, you know, very. We don't wear our emotions, obviously.

[Alyssa]

Okay. Yeah.

[Christina]

Kind of thing. Yeah, got it.

[Alyssa]

Okay. Do you think maybe that's why you also maybe prefer things that are exact and sharp and strong and it's like that's just what appeals to you inside.

[Christina]

Yeah. And I think that's. I think that's part of my personality. A lot of me is like very. I think I'm Very direct. And maybe sometimes it's like. It's almost, like, too much. No.

[Alyssa]

Oh, my gosh. No, it's not too much.

[Christina]

Like, no filter.

[Alyssa]

I think that's great. I love it.

[Christina]

I. I mean, I like it. I think it's.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, it's a good quality.

[Christina]

I mean, I think I. I know what I like, and I know what I want, and I know how I like things to be. And. Yeah, I'll. I'll say it. Otherwise, you know, I think that's nice.

[Alyssa]

I think that's very refreshing. Anything else you think you. You don't like to pull off or that attracts you.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Pattern that you wish you could wear? Oh, yes. Like the blazer. The Anina Bing blazer that finally got let go.

[Christina]

It did. I sold it. Someone. Someone messaged me, and she's like, oh, are you getting rid of it? I'm like, yes, please enjoy it. I know you're gonna love it. Take it. Thank you.

[Alyssa]

Amazing.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

So I'm glad she reached patterns. Oh, sorry, I interrupted.

[Christina]

Oh, I think. I just think. I don't know. I just think they come. I just think it's too busy maybe. I have so much going on in my head. I don't want to look at what's on my. On my, like, you know, body and be like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

But.

[Christina]

But you did point out that. That I never noticed with that blazer. With the Anita Bing blazer, if you want to see. I will have to. I can't remember what episode that we actually show that blazer. I do. I did put it on. It was recent. Yeah. But it was a checked pattern. And then within the checks, there was houndstooth, and I never noticed that. I never, like, clocked that. I always thought, I'm like, oh, this is a checked blazer. It's fine. But it just. It did have a lot going on, and I think it was too, like. Sina did my color typing, and I guess if you were to put me seasonally, I feel like I'd be like a winter. But in her color analysis, I'm deep, cool, and clear. So the blazer is so darker colors. More saturated colors look better, I think. And then. So if I were to wear a gray, probably like a dark charcoal gray would be better than. The color was like a lighter, stony, slatey, like a. Like a storm cloud kind of gray. You know, there was.

[Alyssa]

And so I. I recognized that it was the check in the houndstooth, but someone in the comments actually. There's actually an official name for this kind of Pattern and I wrote it down and I wanted to commit it to memory. And you can tell that I'm not very good at that. So whoever it was that was in the comments that identified that pattern. Thank you. We did read the comments and, and that was very cool. So thank you for sharing that.

[Christina]

So there's a name for it. Okay.

[Alyssa]

There is, there's an actual name for it. So we'll. I'll try and find.

[Christina]

I did remember, I do remember buying it around the peak of check blazer time. You know, in like 2017, 18ish. Like the checks were a big deal at the time. Everybody had. Was putting out a check blazer.

[Alyssa]

Do you. Does the idea of wearing patterns and prints appeal to you? Like are you attracted to them? And then you're like, oh, I forgot, I don't like these or like I don't.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah. I like, I love the idea of like a suit almost like that in a pattern. Yeah, yeah. Like a check pattern. But I just still think it's. I don't know. I think I'd still go for. I feel more probably myself in a solid. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know, maybe it's just. And also I'm like I'm. I'm on the shorter side. I'm like five foot five and you know how they say like oh sometimes you should wear like smaller patterns or bigger patterns depending on the way your shape and your essence and I don't know, I just think maybe the patterns that I choose are not quite, quite right.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. Because maybe there could be one that does work. I think like a light. Don't you have like a light, a button up shirt that's like a pinstripe?

[Christina]

I do and I think that one's blue.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

I almost feel like the super fancy are good for you. Sorry. So nosy. Like you have like little do up nerd. Yeah. I feel like that looks good on you. Like a little like a fine stripe vertical.

[Christina]

One thing I learned that I can't pull off that I always thought I did is high waisted. Anything.

[Alyssa]

Whoa. Tell us.

[Christina]

I need a. I need a mid rise. I am a mid rise girly.

[Alyssa]

So you have a short torso. Ish.

[Christina]

I have short legs. I have a long torso, I think. But short legs and the high rise.

[Alyssa]

For a mid rise.

[Christina]

Mm.

[Alyssa]

I don't know.

[Christina]

Maybe like. Anyway, mid rise looks way better if you see me in a Levi 5. Okay. I did a video on comparing denim.

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Christina]

And I tried on A pair of Agoldie jeans which were a 12 inch rise. And then I did the Levi 501 which is a 10 to 11 inch rise. That mid rise. That inch makes a huge difference.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, makes a huge difference.

[Christina]

It is very high. I don't know, it just doesn't hit because I'm like fairly. I'm like more of a boxy body type as well, like very straight. So it just. Yeah. I don't know.

[Alyssa]

I wonder if it's because you have such a nice bum now that they just make your bum look so good. Sorry, it's the truth. Thanks.

[Christina]

I've been working on it.

[Alyssa]

Well, no, but like, do you know what I mean? Like, have you always felt that way? Like think about the past. Have you ever had something high rise on before? And we're like, I look good. Like what about Christina? What about a trouser? Like I feel like a high waisted sharp trouser. Not super.

[Christina]

It looks weird. It looks weird. I only, I find I. If I'm doing, if I do the high, high rise then I need like a crop top or something to go with it.

[Alyssa]

I can't.

[Christina]

It looks very. I almost look like I'm getting complex, truncated. Yeah, it's very like sure it makes my legs look longer, but I just think I. There's just something off in the proportion I find. So even my trousers, I do have some that are meant to be high waisted but I actually wear them lower and I prefer that. I think it looks not because low is like trending but I did like when high rise was pretty much the only thing available that is exclusively what I wore. And I kind of look back and I'm like, there's something just weird. There's something off.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, yeah, okay. I love this. I wonder if it's because also your proportions or like you're becoming more aware of them.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah. I mean I didn't know, like I, I don't know what I was looking at those years ago. You know what I mean? I think not to say that like, you know, we've talked about it, body types, proportions, etc. Like, you know, there is a, an inference that if you aren't skinny and shaped like an hourglass and have big boobs and you know, a 34, 26, 34 proportion, then you're, you know, you need to find clothes to change that way. Slash you can and cannot wear certain things. But it's just more like the balance feels off when I wear things that I just think aren't suited to my body type.

[Alyssa]

That was really well put.

[Christina]

So it's not like I'm not trying to look as skinny as possible. It's just like. Oh, like I just feel like I look better when I'm wearing a mid rise jean or, you know.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, that's fantastic. I like what you said. I'm trying to think if there's things. It's funny, I don't remember them now in terms of like, shape. Oh, yeah. Something. Okay. This is one you're. Because you're making me think of like silhouettes and. And all that square necklines.

[Christina]

Oh, lovely. Yes.

[Alyssa]

I love a square neckline. I think it's beautiful.

[Christina]

You can't. You think you can't pull them off.

[Alyssa]

I. I've had. And not that I can't pull them off. I can. They look great for. In the eyes of others. Everyone's like, oh, it looks so good. But it's. It's not, it's not my most. I don't want to use flattering in the sense of like, again, something that makes me look skinny or whatever, but it's. It doesn't. Like, I don't like myself in it as much. Yeah, yeah. V. Or a crew or a turtleneck. Like.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

I don't scoop necks. They're okay, but I don't love, like, I don't gravitate to them. But I love the look of a square neckline. I think it's cool. I think it's sharp, I think it's smooth. Speaks to the whole romantic. Right. Like, it's a little bit like medieval and Victorian and it's. I love. I wish I could do a square neckline. And like I said, I had that beautiful, like, olive green bodysuit for years and I would wear it. And then I think at one point I was like, I just don't think it was another dress I had. It was a Club Monaco dress that I had that was a square neck. It was cute. It was like strapless and it was two little straps and then a square. And I remember being like that. That just looks horrible.

[Christina]

Maybe because you actually have boobs.

[Alyssa]

Maybe. But there's people with boobs who wear square necklines and they look amazing.

[Christina]

Yeah, that is true. That's true. So I don't know. I mean, I don't know.

[Alyssa]

Maybe it was the wrong, like, depth or something.

[Christina]

Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I do like you in a V. I feel like you're always in that deep V. Yeah. Exaggerated V. It looks great. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Thanks. Thank you. I like it too. Yeah, You Know. Oh, speaking of prints, I have another one. Like, beautiful, flowy organic prints for me. Like paisleys or big florals.

[Christina]

Yeah, same.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. It's. Again, I think it's because we, like, the angular. Works better if it's even, like. If it's a print. Even if it is a floral print, it has to be almost like architectural and a bit small.

[Christina]

Have you ever had, like, a body and like a kibbe or a body analysis done for you?

[Alyssa]

No, I. I should. I think it would be an interesting experiment, but I'm. I don't know. I don't. I don't retain information unless I. No, honestly, I don't. Unless I do something myself. I have to do it over and over and over again until I learn the lesson. But if someone just tells me something, I won't. I won't retain it. Isn't that horrible? It's like, no, I have to. I have to try the thing on. I have to mess up and I have to, like.

[Christina]

You have to do it.

[Alyssa]

You have to do it. There's no other way.

[Christina]

Step. Yeah. I just wonder if the.

[Alyssa]

Sorry. Going off course.

[Christina]

I don't know. Yeah, no, I. I feel like I. I have. I'm usually auditory.

[Alyssa]

You retain information.

[Christina]

I'm more of an auditory learner, I think. So I, like, I. I hear it, and then if I.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Christina]

And then I. If I can put it in my own words, then that's how I can really remember it. Yeah. Cool.

[Alyssa]

Sorry, you were going to say something before I interrupted you.

[Christina]

Oh, it's okay. I forgot it was probably gonna be good.

[Alyssa]

God damn it. Oh, the Kibe analysis. You were gonna say something because I said. No, I didn't get it done.

[Christina]

Oh, I'm. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just back to the. The pattern thing. I wonder if you're. Because you're tall and I don't know if you're more of like a dramatic kind of like on that leaning of the. Of the scale or whatever. So I don't know if, like, big. Big patterns or small patterns or whatever, or like, sharper. We should have Ellie Jean Royden on the podcast.

[Alyssa]

And actually, that's what one of our comments was in our most recent thing. She asked that, and I. So I've, like, done, like, small. Like, I haven't had someone do it to me. But actually there's a. There's a thread on Reddit because I Googled. I was Googling, like, the body types and because I think it's interesting information to have and someone. There was a thread about like typing content creators and a bunch of people had like in the thread typed me and it was flamboyant, natural. And that seems to make sense for me because if I look at like celebrities whose style I really resonate with and who like we wear the same things and I feel really good. It's like the Jennifer Aniston, like really like simple. Meghan Markle, like very simple, classic, like clean.

[Christina]

Oh, okay.

[Alyssa]

A lot of pr. And if it is, it's like a line or a square, you know? Yeah, I thought that resonated with me. Like I said, I don't.

[Christina]

Okay, that's cool. That's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Cool.

[Alyssa]

Those are all mine. What about you? Do you have any others that you feel you gravitate to but don't wear?

[Christina]

Yeah, anything that like cuts off at the knee? I think it's not. No, not.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Christina]

Not a flattering like so, like those, like midi skirts, like pencil skirts or capris. I'm thinking the Bermuda short is very big. I just don't think that that's not, not a good line on me.

[Alyssa]

Okay, Got it.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. That's a tough one for a lot of people. Unless it's like in a pencil and even then that's hard.

[Christina]

It is hard. I feel like you have to be really tall. I don't know, I'm not sure.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, I'm not that tall and I love a good pencil.

[Christina]

Yes, you are. I'm only five, six.

[Alyssa]

We're like almost the same height.

[Christina]

Your legs though. Girl, you're all legs.

[Alyssa]

No, I'm, I'm equal. I did the measure, so I measured my proportions and like I'm, I'm equal. So I have an almost. If anything my torso is longer, but it's not by much. But what I'm realizing is like it's the. I think it's the shape of my limbs and also I think I have longish arms so they make me look taller and also not like, you know, and I, I think it's the shape of my limbs that make me look taller than I am. And like my face is long, but I'm not. And I wear really high waisted things which make my legs look longer and they're, but they're not like the way you like. One of the ways to measure your, your proportions is if you take your hands and you put like your thumb right at your breastbone, you know, and you do this and if your belly button is covered then it means you're short waisted and Then if your belly button is still showing up under your hands, then it means you're long waisted. And my belly button is like almost right here. So it's like, interesting.

[Christina]

Cool.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. So I, I think I just look taller than I am. People when they meet me, if they watch the channel, they're like, oh, he looks so much taller on camera. Yeah, thanks. But yes. Okay, so things at the knee. Yeah. The only time I can wear something that falls at or around the knee is if it's in a tight pencil. And it's a. It has to be a high waist, at least for me. It doesn't have to be. But in order for me to like the way it looks, it has to have a high waist, be a nice fitted silhouette and. Or I have to wear a shoe that has a low vamp and preferably a pointed heel, like. Or a pointed toe if it's a flat.

[Christina]

That's a good point.

[Alyssa]

To be a pointed toe.

[Christina]

Yeah, that's a good point too. I find the, where the shoe hit. I think that's maybe why I don't really like loafers.

[Alyssa]

Because they're high. They fall high on your foot.

[Christina]

Yeah. And it just cuts off. It just cuts off.

[Alyssa]

Weird. Yeah. You need like a lower vamp.

[Christina]

Yeah, I like that skin showing. Like, I think that it helps just with the breathing room. I find that's what I find when something's not pulling off, it's almost moving away from. Oh. Because my body is this way, therefore I cannot pull off. It's more, you know, getting into the proportion. Proportion thing. I find needing, like how I was talking about with this, even though it's slim. You know how they talk about, like, oh, have, you know, you could wear something oversized with something skinnier and then show a little bit of skin. And it's oftentimes like, okay, wear an oversized blazer with like a bodysuit and then a wide leg pant. And then that's how you do proportion. That's not wrong, but it's more. I feel like I just need breathing room in certain areas. So I need breathing room around the chest. I find a lot of the time I need breathing room around the wrist even not the full arm, but just a little bit of the wrist. And I need it in the shoe oftentimes. So whether it be like an ankle showing or the shoe with the low vamp, as you mentioned, or even like a sandal, oftentimes too, with my hair. Ooh, I have to wear. I find I just. When my hair is down. I love it when it's down, but I find it can very easily start to weigh everything down, like, feel heavy. Yeah. So when I put it back, I use putting my hair back as a tool to even get that breathing room that I feel like I need sometimes.

[Alyssa]

I love that. I love that you've identified these things about yourself and your style. Yeah, I think it's important.

[Christina]

Yeah, I think it helps. And the only way you do that is just by getting dressed and having outfits that feel. Really learn something from those shitty outfits, you know?

[Alyssa]

Yes. A reminder that you. You can wear anything. That you don't have to be a certain body type to wear certain things. It's just about understanding and knowing what you like best and what resonates with you most.

[Christina]

It makes me think about the word flattering. And again, I like when. When we say that, I think there's. I'm. What I'm learning about that word is I feel like there's a few different interpretations of it. There's one flattering where it's like, okay, I gotta look as skinny and my boobs have to look as big as possible and I have to look like an hourglass.

[Alyssa]

Like the social construct flattering.

[Christina]

Yes. And then there's flattering where it's like, oh, this just looks right on me. I like the way this looks. And that's the flattering that I feel like I can see, for example, from high rise versus mid rise jeans. The mid rise jeans look flattering on me. And it's not. It just. I think it just lands in the correct place in the sense of, like, these jeans look like they fit me. They're not cutting me off in a weird place.

[Alyssa]

They're.

[Christina]

You know what I mean? I don't know.

[Alyssa]

They suit you. Yeah.

[Christina]

Yeah. That's such a good. And it has nothing to do with, like, how skinny or curvy it makes me look, you know, a hundred percent.

[Alyssa]

And I think we carry ourselves, I think flattering, like you're saying when something is flattering in that sense of the word, we carry ourselves differently in our clothes. Like, you can just tell when someone's more comfortable in their. In their. What they're wearing.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

In that sense, it's. That's when it's flattering.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Just suits.

[Christina]

I think so. Yeah. Or just. It just doesn't. Like, I think also we talk about, like, something feels off, something looks off, and it could just be where something's landing. Where.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Christina]

You know, I. I learned that with like the vamp of the shoe, for example. Or if things are too covered up here or if I need to put my hair back. Balance is really. What, I don't know. For me, balance almost dictates whether or not I feel like something can be pulled. Like I can pull something off myself, personally.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. Yeah, that's a, that's a great way to put it. For sure. That's great. What are, what are the things that you are attracted to everyone who's watching and listening, but that when you try, for whatever reason, it just doesn't work. Hopefully this, our, our sharing of our experiences allow you to do some reflection and maybe hone in on what you like to wear. Why a little bit more.

[Christina]

And I do want to remind people again, I think it's not a matter of leaning into the things you don't, you know, or blaming the things you don't like about yourself or saying, you know, really leaning into the almost limiting and self deprecating beliefs of why something cannot be pulled off. It's just more. I've tried this and it didn't, I just didn't like it. It didn't feel great. It didn't feel good. You know, I think that's, I think that's an important distinction.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. All right.

[Christina]

All right, friends, we'll see you next week.

[Alyssa]

See you.

[Christina]

Thanks for listening.

[Alyssa]

Thanks for joining. Ciao.

[Christina]

Bye.

[Sina]

Thank you so much for joining in our conversation this week. If you're enjoying the show, we'd love it. If you subscribe to the podcast on Spotify and Apple and leave us a rating and review, it's one of the best ways to support, support the Sustain this podcast at zero cost to you.

[Christina]

We're also a community led podcast, so if you have any questions for us, topic requests, or even guests you want to hear from, please send us a DM on Instagram @ Sustain this Underscore podcast. We read all of our comments and look forward to hearing from you.

[Alyssa]

We hope you join us again next Tuesday where we'll talk about so much more than clothes.

[Christina]

Ciao, Sam.