Podcast Summary: “Joy – Part 3 of Present Heart: The Universal Expressions of Love”

Podcast: Tara Brach
Host: Tara Brach
Date: February 27, 2025

Episode Overview

In the third installment of her Brahmavaharas series, Tara Brach explores the theme of joy—how it is both a natural aspect of our being and an experience that is elusive for many. Through storytelling, poetry, Buddhist philosophy, and practical mindfulness exercises, Tara illuminates the blockages to joy and offers pathways for cultivating a more open-hearted, present, and joy-filled life. The episode blends psychological insight, meditation practices, and spiritual wisdom, emphasizing that joy is not just spontaneous but can be intentionally chosen, cultivated, and embodied.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Introduction to Joy as a Divine Abode

• Story of the Monastery and “Celebr/celeb” (02:00): Tara starts with a humorous story linking joy to celebration of life, setting the tone for the session.
• Joy’s Role Among the Brahmavaharas (05:00):
  • Metta (loving-kindness) and compassion were previously discussed.
  • Mudita (sympathetic joy) is the main focus—being happy for others, as well as for ourselves.

2. Joy as a Rare and Moral Obligation

• Quote by André Gide (07:20):

  • “Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.”
  • Tara unpacks this, suggesting we’re not required to feel joy at all times, but that recognizing joy as central to our wholeness is itself a practice.

• The Mindset of Joy and Seriousness (09:40):

  • Hafez’s poem illustrates how saints are “continually tripping over joy,” contrasting with those of us “with a thousand serious moves.”
  • Tara: “Life being a problem to solve rather than a mystery to be lived, that kind of mindset.” (10:35)

3. Practicing Openness to Goodness

• Cancer Support Group Story (13:20):
  • Practicing anticipation that something good might happen, challenging ingrained habits of expecting difficulty.
  • Invitation: “What happens when you adopt that something good is going to happen?” (14:30)
  • Research: Happy people “choose happiness.”
  • Henri Nouwen’s quote: “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” (16:05)

4. Obstacles to Joy: “If Only” and “Something’s Wrong” Mind

• If Only Mind (18:00):

  • Constantly leaning forward, thinking happiness is contingent on circumstances (job, partner, health, etc.).
  • Tara: “If only mind...we're not in the one place where we can actually find true happiness and openness and presence.” (20:10)

• Comparison and Subtle Discontent (22:10):

  • Daily small “if onlys” (sleep, subway seat, finishing a project).

• Something’s Wrong Mind (23:30):

  • Includes both blaming others and turning against ourselves (“the trance of unworthiness”).
  • Tara’s story with assistant Janet and their harmonized song “I’m never enough”—shining light on self-doubt with humor and community. (25:20)

• Set Points of Happiness and the Biochemistry of Thinking (29:00):

  • “Our habits of thinking...sustain a happiness set point."
  • Negative loops of wanting/comparing/judging create a cycle that shapes our mood.
  • California beach story: What do we really wish for? (31:40)

5. Shifting the Happiness Set Point: The Power of Unconditional Presence

• Anthony De Mello: “When there’s absolute cooperation with the inevitable, we just open to how it is.”

• Dorothy Hunt: “The heart space, where everything that is is welcome.” (35:20)

• Lama story: In acceptance, there is joy—“Of course I’m happy. It’s wonderful. Especially when I have no choice.” (38:45)

• JOMO—Joy of Missing Out (41:20):

  • “You spurn the treasure on the shelf in favor of your peaceful self...Oh, the joy of missing out.”

6. Practices for Cultivating Joy

• Recognizing and Interrupting Trance States (44:00):

  • “Right now, this right here”—noticing when we’re caught in future/if only/negative trances and gently returning to presence.
  • Tara shares her own practice: “Why am I planning? I could be enjoying the heat of the water just pouring over my back.” (46:55)

• YES Meditation (49:35):

  • “This is the yes meditation, saying yes to the feelings in your body, yes to your heart, yes to the life that’s right here.”
  • “The key word is yes. You’re saying yes to the life that’s here. It’s the heart space that everything is welcome in.” (52:10)

7. Gladdening the Mind: The Second Pathway to Joy

• Counteracting the Negativity Bias (53:40):

  • “We have such a leaning towards paying attention to what blocks joy.”
  • Spontaneous gladdening: Enjoying nature, seeing someone we love happy.

• Intentional Gladdening

  • Activities (music, gardening, time with loved ones) and gratitude practices shape our mind and body-chemistry for joy.
  • Gratitude buddy: “It changes really the body, mind, chemistry.” (55:40)

• “Installation” (Rick Hanson’s Term) (57:10):

  • “In order to change a state, a passing state of happiness into a trait, you need to make it stickier. You have to pause for 15 to 30 seconds and really feel it in your body. That’s what gives it the stickiness.”
  • Negative events go into implicit memory more readily. Positive events require savoring and conscious imprinting.

• Joshua Bell in the Subway Story (59:40):

  • Only a few stopped to listen to a world-class musician in disguise—“How much do we miss each day?...Where you could pause and really get back in touch with yourself, your own breath, and sense a little of that space of presence that is mysterious and is beautiful.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Joy’s Rarity and Importance

  • “Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.”
    — André Gide (07:20)

• On Choosing Joy

  • “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”
    — Henri Nouwen (16:05)

• On Habitual Mind States

  • “If only mind... We're leaning forward and when it's a habit, we're always on our way somewhere else.” (20:10)
  • “Our inability to forgive...is correlated to our inability to feel joy.”
    — paraphrasing Charlotte Joko Beck (24:40)

• Singing Away Self-Doubt

  • Tara and assistant Janet sing: “I'm not enough. I'm not never enough. Something's wrong with me. I can't get things right.” (25:20)
  • “Sometimes we need each other's help.”

• Radical Acceptance

  • “The heart space, where everything that is is welcome.” — Dorothy Hunt (35:20)
  • Lama with arthritis: “Of course I’m happy. It’s wonderful. Especially when I have no choice.” (38:45)

• YES to Life

  • “This is the yes meditation, saying yes to the feelings in your body, yes to your heart, yes to the life that’s right here.” (52:10)

• On Relating to the Present

  • “Why am I planning? I could be enjoying the heat of the water just pouring over my back.” (46:55)
  • “You spurn the treasure on the shelf in favor of your peaceful self. Without regret, without a doubt. Oh, the joy of missing out.” (41:20, JOMO poem)

• Creating Stickier Joy

  • “You have to pause for 15 to 30 seconds and really feel it in your body.” (57:10)
  • “If you have 100 experiences with a dog, 99 of them are good...which one do you remember? The one time you get bit.” (58:00)

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Story of the Monastery & The Role of Joy: 02:00–07:00
• Andre Gide and Moral Obligation of Joy: 07:20–09:40
• Practices: Openness and Choosing Joy: 13:20–16:05
• If Only Mind & Daily Discontents: 18:00–22:10
• Something’s Wrong Mind, Self-judgment: 23:30–25:20
• Happiness Set Point & Mental Loops: 29:00–34:20
• Radical Acceptance and Presence: 35:20–39:00
• JOMO Poem: 41:20
• Interrupting Trance & Savoring Presence: 44:00–49:35
• YES Meditation & Savoring Joy: 49:35–52:10
• Gladdening the Mind & Installing Joy: 53:40–57:10
• Joshua Bell Metro Anecdote: 59:40
• Closing Quotes and Meditation: 01:04:00–end

Practices and Takeaways

• Pause and Notice: Regularly check for moments of “if only” or “something’s wrong” in your thoughts.
• YES Meditation: Practice unconditional presence by saying “yes” to your current experience, whether pleasant or unpleasant.
• Gladden the Mind: Intentionally focus on gratitude or loving memories, and savor these moments for at least 15–30 seconds.
• Gratitude Partner: Exchange three daily gratitudes via email or text to help reinforce joy.
• JOMO: Savor the peace in not chasing every opportunity—instead, “spurn the treasure on the shelf in favor of your peaceful self.”
• Wholehearted Acceptance: Find freedom by fully allowing what is, echoing the lama’s wisdom: “Of course I’m happy. It’s wonderful. Especially when I have no choice.”

Final Reflection

Tara closes by reminding listeners that, as the Buddha said, “I would not be teaching this if genuine happiness and freedom were not possible.” Joy, she emphasizes, is not dependent on everything being just right in life, but on our capacity for presence, savoring, gratitude, and radical acceptance.

“Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower. But it's already there in relaxation and letting go... Happiness is already here in relaxation and letting go.”
— Lama Gendon Rinpoche (1:05:15)

Namaste and thank you for your attention.