Michelle Buteau

Summary

Podcast Summary: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim

Episode: Michelle Buteau
Date: June 16, 2026
Host: Ego Nwodim
Guest: Michelle Buteau

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Episode Overview

In this highly energetic and candid conversation, Ego Nwodim sits down with comedian, actress, and writer Michelle Buteau. The episode blends humor with vulnerability, exploring themes of parenting, identity, family legacy, leadership, and personal growth—all through the lens of their experiences with their own fathers. They also touch on the realities of the entertainment industry, mental health, and the importance of representation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Riffs: Deodorant, Inheritance, and 90 Day Fiancé [01:14–07:54]

• Deodorant Real Talk: Ego opens with a funny, passionate tirade about the ineffectiveness of natural deodorant and the merits of aluminum-based options.
  • “Your natural deodorant doesn’t work. You didn’t find the one.” – Ego (01:14)
• Biology Banter: Ego and Michelle joke about genetic inheritances, leading to playful talk about “big dick” energy and family traits.
  • “Oh, my God. That’s where I got my big dick from.” – Michelle (05:06)
• Reality TV & Accents: They riff on 90 Day Fiancé, with Michelle playing up the role of a white lady seeking a Nigerian prince.

2. Receiving Compliments and Self-Esteem [06:34–08:03]

• The duo discuss how they handle compliments, with Michelle noting she struggles unless she genuinely believes them.
  • “When do you do well with compliments?” – Ego (07:02)
  • “When I believe it.” – Michelle (07:05)

3. Gratitude: Who Michelle Wants to Thank [08:03–10:43]

• Michelle gives a heartfelt thanks to her kids' first-grade teacher for their hard work and underappreciated role.
  • "They're not just babysitting. They're trying to teach them stuff besides manners.” – Michelle (09:40)
• She jokes about also wanting to thank her waxer, and they veer into body hair removal and microplastics.

4. On Parenting, Conflict, and Children [11:29–20:57]

• Parenting Twins: Michelle reflects on the uniqueness and exhaustion of having twins, emphasizing gratitude for their health and personalities.
• Protective Instincts: Michelle recounts a time her child was bitten at school, discussing the emotional toll and challenges of trusting others with your kids.
  • “You make me feel like a really bad mom because I trusted you guys to do the right thing, and you did not. You failed me and you failed her.” – Michelle (16:00)
• Changing Conflict Styles: Michelle describes her growth from "popping off" to handling conflict with more empathy and boundaries due to her leadership role on set and in life.
  • “I try not to run from conflict like I used to... Now, I try to see people and work with them.” – Michelle (19:05)

5. Parenting Dynamics in the Home [20:28–22:32]

• Discipline: Michelle and her husband take turns being the disciplinarian/fun parent.
  • “After 8pm, I turn into Denzel Washington. Sometimes I’m a light-skinned Bernie Mac—‘Lay down, lay down!’” – Michelle (20:58)

6. Comedy, Drugs, and Changing Times [21:44–23:54]

• Evolution of Nightlife: They reminisce about staying out late, using Red Bull and Michelle’s past experience with cocaine, drawing contrasts to today’s health-conscious, therapy-forward culture.

7. Dental Talk, Health Accessibility, and Representation [23:54–25:58]

• Teeth and Access: Candid (and funny) discussion about missing side teeth, genetics, and the often-overlooked barriers to dental health in America.
  • “Shout out to the missing side teeth community. I stand with you!” – Michelle (23:54)
  • “Why is it considered cosmetic when you can’t even get a job if you don’t have a certain amount of teeth?” – Ego (24:54)

8. The Journey with Survival of the Thickest [29:01–31:56]

• Leadership on Set: Michelle talks about the joy and responsibility of being the lead and wanting to bring out the best in her crew—highlighting the importance of inclusion and “leading like Cyndi Lauper.”
  • “It isn’t even leader as in do what I say. It’s like, I want to bring out the best in everybody. Let’s go fly.” – Michelle (29:28)
• Gratitude for Closure: Netflix gave the team advance notice that season 3 was the final, letting them “write a personal trilogy—an ending is always a beginning.”
• Book Origins: Many are surprised to learn the series began as a book Michelle wrote in late 2020, and she shares the joys and struggles of releasing work during the pandemic.

9. Mission Statements and Representation [31:56–36:45]

• Personal Mantras:

  • “It’s not us who need to catch up to the world. It’s the world that needs to catch up to us.” – Michelle (33:56)

• Representation Matters: Michelle emphasizes the importance of fat, Black, brown, and queer folks getting happy endings on screen—not just being used for “pain porn.”

  • “We need to see ourselves have a fucking happy ending. It can’t just be pain porn.” – Michelle (33:33)

• Advice to Creatives:

  • “If people don’t want to hear from you, let them hear about you... Go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated.” – Michelle (35:08)
  • “You are the level. Be so undeniable and so hard to follow, and shit will happen for you.” – Michelle (36:21)

10. Fathers, Family, and Dementia [38:43–42:11]

• Daddy’s Girl: Michelle describes her dad, now living with dementia, and reflects on being an only child and the emotional complexities of caregiving.
  • “He still gives me a high five even though he doesn’t know who I am.” – Michelle (40:27)
• Family Dynamics: The episode touches on the pressure of being the only child, the desire for siblings, and building chosen family.

11. Siblings, Fame, and Kids [42:16–44:55]

• Ego shares her experience as the youngest of four, and how her nieces are hilariously unfazed by her work on Gabby’s Dollhouse.

12. Body Talk & Pap Smears... In Public? [44:55–46:15]

• Pelvic Floor Weakness: Michelle jokes about post-childbirth realities, and ideas for making reproductive health less intimidating through public pap smears (humor, not literal advice).
  • “I am one sneeze away from ruining this chair.” – Michelle (44:23)

13. Honesty About Ambition: Wanting Recognition [48:47–52:44]

• Awards and Vulnerability: Michelle opens up (with some hesitation) about wanting recognition for her work after 25 years, and the vulnerability in saying it out loud.
  • “It would be nice to just be on some lists for a week... The recognition after 25 years would be nice.” – Michelle (50:02)
• Industry Mishaps: Ego and Michelle discuss the mishap that resulted in her not being submitted for an Emmy, highlighting the randomness and unfairness of showbiz.

14. Astrology and Identity [54:51–58:38]

• They break down Leo (July vs. August), Pisces, and “amberverts”—mixes of extrovert/introvert energy. Michelle delivers a surprisingly deep Pisces analysis, and rib each other about zodiac “beefs.”
  • “A Pisces always has a moment where it changes... You take, take, take, until that one moment. It’s like, you ain’t never gonna see me again.” – Michelle (56:14)

15. LA vs. NY, Anxiety, and Authenticity [58:44–60:03]

• Michelle discusses her unhappiness in LA, needing to do stand-up “at least five nights a week” to feel whole, and how returning to New York felt like regaining herself.

16. Work, Relationships, and Finding the Right One [60:26–64:45]

• Fuckboy History: Michelle shares her early serious relationships, including a memorable story about a boyfriend who couldn’t read, drawing attention to the real issue of adult illiteracy.
• Meeting Her Husband: She met her now-husband via a one-night stand, realizing he “saw her before [she] saw herself,” allowing her to “be soft” in love.
  • “I made a hard decision to have a soft life with someone. And it’s nice.” – Michelle (64:30)

17. Segments: Passenger Princess & Dad, Daddy, Father [64:45–68:58]

• Ego challenges Michelle to stop apologizing for the rest of the day—playfully naming “saying sorry” as a habit Michelle should ditch.

• Game: Dad, Daddy, Father (a take on “Marry/Fuck/Kill”):

  • Incognito mode guy is “Daddy”
  • Toenail guy is “Dad” (specifically, a divorced dad)
  • “He has risen” guy is “Father” (but not a priest)

• Listener Question for the Next Guest:

  • “Who was your favorite teacher and why?” – Michelle (69:06)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Natural Deodorant:
  “Your natural deodorant, it don’t work. I love you. You didn’t find the one.” – Ego (01:14)

• On Teachers:
  _“We’re asking teachers to…have a dress code, don’t eat this and that, and put on a bulletproof vest... and that’s why I’m just like, okay, Abbott.”—Michelle (09:51, 10:27)

• On Advocacy:
  “If people don’t want to hear from you, let them hear about you.” – Michelle (35:08)

• On Joy & Representation:
  “We need to see ourselves have a fucking happy ending. It can’t just be pain porn.” – Michelle (33:33)

• On Realizing Needs in Love:
  “I made a hard decision to have a soft life with someone.” – Michelle (64:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Natural Deodorant & Inheritance Riffs: 01:14–05:37
• Receiving Compliments: 06:34–07:27
• Thanks To… (Teachers): 08:03–10:43
• Parenting, Conflict, and Kids: 11:29–20:57
• Discipline at Home: 20:28–22:32
• Cocaine, ADHD & Changing Times: 21:44–23:54
• Dental Health & Representation: 23:54–25:58
• Survival of the Thickest / Book Origins: 29:01–31:56
• Personal Mantras & Creative Advice: 31:56–36:45
• Talking About Her Father’s Dementia: 38:43–42:11
• Awards & Industry Recognition: 48:47–52:44
• Zodiac Talk: 54:51–58:38
• LA vs. NY Stand-up: 58:44–60:03
• Relationship History to Husband: 60:26–64:45
• Listener Question – Favorite Teacher: 69:06–69:14

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Anchored by warm camaraderie and relentless, raunchy humor, this episode balances playful banter with poignant reflections. Michelle’s unwavering honesty about motherhood, loss, ambition, and representation, combined with Ego’s sharp, relatable humor, makes this episode both hilarious and deeply human.

“We tried some new segments today. I don’t know—we’re trying new things around here. This is a family podcast. We were talking about pussy…the family podcast!” – Ego (69:53)

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If You Only Take Away One Thing:

Michelle Buteau embodies the truth that joy and representation matter just as much as grit and resilience—and that, often, “the world just needs to catch up to us.”

Transcript

[Ego Wodem]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Ad Read Announcer]

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[Ego Wodem]

Hey guys, I'm back to running my damn mouth up top here. Or at least just for today, because I have something to say. It's getting warmer outside and I implore everyone to put on deodorant and not the natural stuff. It don't work. I don't know how to tell you. Your natural deodorant, it don't work. And I know you think it works, and I know you think you found the one that works and this one really works. But I promise you with every fiber of my being, it's not working. And no one has the heart to tell you. Like, I know people whom I love who think their natural deodorant is the one. This one's really good, though. No, no, I found the one. You didn't. It doesn't work. So please, I'm begging all of you, get a little aluminum. A little aluminum in your pits and stop the stank. Help. Stop the stank. That's what I'm trying to say. For real. It doesn't work. The natural deodorant, I love the idea. I love the concept. I love everything going natural. I love organic. I eat organic food when I'm able to. What a privilege and a gift. Your deodorant, your natural deodorant doesn't work. You didn't find the one. I love you. You didn't find the one. No one else feels like they can tell you they are Smelling it. They're smelling you. And they don't feel like they can say something because what are you going to say? Hey, we're not that close. We work together. Yeah, we're gabbing about the tea, the office tea, but by the way, your natural deodorant doesn't work and I feel like people can't smell themselves. So I just want to say on behalf of everyone everywhere, your natural deodorant isn't working. And if someone sends you this cl, it's because they love you and also because your natural deodorant isn't working. I said it come for me, it's fine. But it's true. This is top of mind for me because I left. It's a warm day today in New York and I left my apartment and I was like. I remember looking at my deodorant, but did I put it on my body? Then I was spiraling. I've been. I've been crashing out about this all day long. I even ask the people in the office here if I stink. No one wants to tell me, but point is, if you don't have deodorant, by the way, life hack hand sanitizer will do the trick and hold you over for the time being. Okay? If you forget your deodorant, it's getting hot. Be good to your neighbors. Get real deodorant. Don't be musty. Stop the stank. I believe in you. I'm about to have a very fun conversation with a beautiful soul, and I can't wait for you to listen. By the way, in the comments, tell me your favorite deodorant brand and it better not be natural. Love you. All right, Listen to this. Feels good to get that off my chest. Actually, wait. Bring us back. I have more to say. Sorry, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. We love aluminum around here. For real. I'm going no less than 19% aluminum if you tell me it's making me sick. Probably, but other things are as well. Everything's making us a little sick. I think this one's worth it. Give me that 19% aluminum. I just went to CVS. I looked at every back of every deal before I bought my new container that I maybe didn't put on today. And I said, how much percentage? 12. Put it down. Doesn't work. What's this? 13. Throw it away. 19% or more. Okay, that's the guidelines this summer. Let's smell good together. Okay, this conversation is going to be good because I know it. Because and we're going to actually go to it now because. Because I've said everything I need to say about deodorant, but stay and list. You know, people could inherit a big dick from their dad, supposedly. Oh, I was a biology major. We learned that.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. That's where I got my big dick from.

[Ego Wodem]

So you mean to say I could get a tight pussy and I'd get it from my mom?

[Michelle Buteau]

Ask your mom if she got a tight pussy.

[Ego Wodem]

Should we call it my Nigerian mother? If she has a Thai, can you say it in Nigeria? What's the language we speak? Hanging.

[Michelle Buteau]

How do you say, how are you

[Ego Wodem]

close? They would understand.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

And how you say, I'm good, bitch.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm good. But Adema, bitch. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm ready to go to Nigeria. Put me on 90 Day Fiance. I'm ready for my prince. I'm gonna get a goat. Take me to that village. Have you seen 90 Day Fiance?

[Ego Wodem]

I have seen it, but it's been years. My mom loves that show.

[Michelle Buteau]

Any old white lady named Lisa from Pennsylvania is gonna try to almost get

[Ego Wodem]

by a Nigerian man.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Hi. First of all.

[Michelle Buteau]

Hi.

[Ego Wodem]

Let's go back.

[Michelle Buteau]

Let's go back.

[Ego Wodem]

Let's start in the beginning.

[Hoda Kotb]

Let's do it.

[Michelle Buteau]

This coffee. What's in it?

[Ego Wodem]

I don't crack. It's giving crack. It's giving cocaine. Okay, I'm gonna have to do your intro. I have respect for you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, okay. Thank you.

[Ego Wodem]

Is that confounding that someone might respect? Come on.

[Michelle Buteau]

I wish I knew what confounding meant, but I don't read what you read.

[Ego Wodem]

Come pick.

[Michelle Buteau]

You have. You're just a different. You're in a different category. You have a shirt on with no stains. You have. You have biceps and triceps even as you use words like confounding. So I'm just. I'm here.

[Ego Wodem]

You know what? No, you're doing great because you look beautiful.

[Michelle Buteau]

First of all, this blazer doesn't. But. And it never did.

[Ego Wodem]

But you didn't even have to snitch on yourself.

[Michelle Buteau]

I just wanted to let you know. I just wanted to. You say me say before you said it.

[Ego Wodem]

But are you. How are you with compliments?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, no. Stop looking through my soul, bitch.

[Ego Wodem]

You don't do well with compliments, do you?

[Michelle Buteau]

You know what it is? Sometimes. Sometimes.

[Ego Wodem]

When do you do well? When do you not do well?

[Michelle Buteau]

When I believe it.

[Ego Wodem]

And how often are we believing it, Michelle?

[Michelle Buteau]

It really depends. Right now, in this era.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Cause I'm gonna be 49 soon. Oh, wow. Yes. So it's like the fuck good. So, yes, I'm gonna take that.

[Ego Wodem]

Cause I know you believe that. Okay. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

So it's like 80% of the time.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Cause I know.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know.

[Ego Wodem]

Well, I want you to know when I said the blazer was giving. Oh, I really meant it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you. To believe it. And then you say, thank you, but we're gonna introduce you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, shit. The whole show.

[Ego Wodem]

The whole.

[Michelle Buteau]

Who the fuck was that?

[Ego Wodem]

Well, I said. I teased the name to begin with. And also for the viewers. They could see who the fuck it is.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

My next guest is an actress, writer, and comedian who you can see in the new season of Survival of the Thickest. July 2nd on Netflix. It's Michelle Boutel.

[Michelle Buteau]

Hello. Hi.

[Ego Wodem]

Let's act like we weren't just. We didn't start with pussy. And now it's like, hi, nice to meet you. I mean, you. You know, Michelle. Who or what do you want to say thanks to?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my goodness. I would love to say thanks to my kids. First grade teachers.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, good.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know what I mean? Like, it's either that or the lady that waxes my puss. But honestly, she doesn't know you're still getting a wax. I am. What are you doing? Laser.

[Ego Wodem]

Laser hair removal. Laser hair removal since like, 2012. Laser. Laser.

[Michelle Buteau]

Do you go like this?

[Ego Wodem]

Also use a microwave and stand right in front of it. I don't care. We're all dying. Every day, we're dying. That's vintage microwave. I don't know how people. Do you not have a microwave?

[Michelle Buteau]

I have a microwave. I don't always use it. I heat it up.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, you heat.

[Michelle Buteau]

I heat it up.

[Ego Wodem]

You heat it up on the stovetop. I heat it up, too. In a box with waves.

[Michelle Buteau]

The microwave. But you should take it out of what? Like, don't heat it up in the plastic.

[Ego Wodem]

They say I'm gonna get little microplastics in my system or whatever. Yeah, I'm not gonna hold you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

I am sometimes using the plastic container.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

But I want to talk about the woman who waxes your pussy.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay, let's do it.

[Ego Wodem]

Or your kid's first grade teacher.

[Michelle Buteau]

Same person.

[Ego Wodem]

Stop it. Imagine.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, I was thinking, I really. Because when I see them at the end of the day, they're tired. That's 25 kids per class. That's a lot of energy. And I don't know what they do when they go home. And I'm not going to judge them because now, like, they. They should do anything they want to

[Ego Wodem]

do, what they want to do.

[Michelle Buteau]

They should smoke or eat, dose anything.

[Ego Wodem]

All of it. You're fine by it. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. Because that's a lot. And they're shaping these young minds. They're not just babysitting them. They're trying to teach them stuff besides manners, which. And it's amazing my kids know how to read. That's not me.

[Ego Wodem]

I have nothing to do with that.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't. Because I'm like, give me the book. They're like, I could do it. I'm like, sis, this is great. You wake up, they know how to read. You wake up again, they're paying taxes. It's like, wow. You know, it's like the teachers that you have in first grade are the teachers that are good teachers. They're supposed to. They're doing what you think a teacher's supposed to do and then some. And so I just can't get my mind around how underpaid they are, how undervalued. And we're asking teachers to, you know, have a dress code and don't eat this and that and put on a bulletproof vest.

[Ego Wodem]

You're not paying them enough to be doing all that.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

And that's why I'm just like, okay, Abbott. Yes. That's. I feel like that's why Abbott elementary is like. I mean, obviously, it's hilarious, but it's also like, you never. I don't think I appreciated any teachers when I was growing up. So I'm like, it's nice to see good teachers.

[Ego Wodem]

It's true. But I also think that growing up, you don't have an appreciation for a lot of things. You don't think you understand what your parents have done and sacrifice and the work and effort they're putting in. Until you're older and have a little more perspective and understand the world a little more and until you're a parent yourself.

[Michelle Buteau]

Y.

[Ego Wodem]

About appreciation. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Every time I see your face, all I hear is, cook my meat.

[Ego Wodem]

How do I feel about. How do I feel about that? Honor simply.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's good. Because I can't say. I mean, I say it to everybody else's face, but I just love.

[Ego Wodem]

Say, cook my meat. Well, you've done it now. Cook my meat. You better. I used to order steaks well done, but that's not a. This isn't about me today, Michelle. Oh, this is gonna be about you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God.

[Ego Wodem]

You have twins, if I'm not mistaken.

[Michelle Buteau]

I do.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you like that I remember that about you? Or Is it weird?

[Michelle Buteau]

No. My titties are cute. I'm just kidding. You talking about my. You like that?

[Ego Wodem]

I seen them dates and I remember those titties.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, I do. The right one's a little bit bigger.

[Ego Wodem]

Normal.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you. I just. I'm glad to have big titties because I feel like if I was ever in the Titanic, I don't need that door.

[Ego Wodem]

J.

[Michelle Buteau]

Move on. Use your own whistle.

[Ego Wodem]

So you have two sets of twins. The kids and the tit.

[Michelle Buteau]

Real Noah's ark. I'm so sorry.

[Ego Wodem]

Don't be sorry. Okay?

[Ad Read Announcer]

I'm not.

[Ego Wodem]

She's crying. Because this is a very emotional podcast. She's crying also.

[Michelle Buteau]

Was it ever. Did they ever clean this?

[Ego Wodem]

Clean what?

[Michelle Buteau]

This room.

[Ego Wodem]

This room in here. You think is dusty? No. A little bit, yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

You don't think it's dusty?

[Ego Wodem]

I took a Zyrtec, I did a

[Michelle Buteau]

Zycam up my nose. Like a little spray. Spray.

[Ego Wodem]

You know that I love Zycam.

[Michelle Buteau]

Really?

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. But I used to do the swabs that you. They're swabs. You break a stick off and you swab your nose. So before. I was doing that before. COVID test. Sticking my own swab. But then Zycam has been unfortunately recalled twice in my lifetime. Oh, yeah. So go ahead and drink your coffee. Shit. Because Zycam, they. At one point, I don't know what the first recall was, but then I couldn't find the swabs anymore. And this is like last year, I said, where the fuck are the swabs? There was fungus found in some of the swabs. So it was basically your. If you had an infected pack, you were swiping your nose with fungus. And so it is also crazy that there's a medication that was just over the counter where you could casually, like, stick a Q tip up your nose. Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

America's wild. It's lawless.

[Ego Wodem]

But I like it, though. I do. Because, you know, I was abroad. Yes. Now I'm a lady. But no, I was actually abroad in a different place. I was abroad overseas in Europe, and I got my forehead burnt with a curling iron. A professional burnt my forehead. And I haven't had that happen since I was, like, 6 years old and I was using the hot tools. So it was a professional burnt my forehead. And I said, I need Neosporin. I couldn't find anything of the sort in Europe because they're like, it has an antibiotic in it.

[Michelle Buteau]

They're very strict.

[Ego Wodem]

But why can't I have a topical antibiotic?

[Michelle Buteau]

It's so weird how strict they are. Cause I'm like, y' all invented slavery, and now we can't get Neosporin. Make it make sense, Jimmy. Colonialism, imperialism.

[Ego Wodem]

I can't get melatonin. You can't get melatonin.

[Michelle Buteau]

And you can't get all the raping and pillaging. And I can't even get a good night's rest.

[Ego Wodem]

Michelle, I just want you to know we started the conversation. I just want to back. I. Twins.

[Michelle Buteau]

To get back to my twins.

[Ego Wodem]

Twins raping and pillaging. And I can't get a good night's rest.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Speaking.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, better yet, better transition. Speaking of good night's rest.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you all twins?

[Michelle Buteau]

Because that was a segue. Sis, you got a helmet on that segue. Yes, you did.

[Ego Wodem]

You see what I did there?

[Michelle Buteau]

You know what? It's a privilege to be like this tired and overwhelmed. I love these kids Down. They're so cute. They're really nice souls. And I always say, thank God they're beautiful. Cause it'd be hard if they were ugly.

[Ego Wodem]

I've heard that about choosing a partner.

[Michelle Buteau]

That too.

[Ego Wodem]

If your partner is that too.

[Michelle Buteau]

You can kind of get through it because they could take care of themselves and stuff. And then you kind of disassociate. And then all of a sudden, you're like, roommates. And then you break up, but with kids. Boom, boom, boom.

[Ego Wodem]

You know, your kids.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. They look like your parents and stuff. And it's crazy.

[Ego Wodem]

It's bizarre. But I. I have to tell you, though, I don't know if you remember this, and I don't mean to trigger you, and we'll cut this out if I'm triggering you. Sip your iced coffee.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Because when last time, my second to last time I saw you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

You were like, sorry, I'm late to a thing. It was like, a fashiony thing. You're like, some. Some kid bit my child at school.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, shit.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you remember this? Yes. Is it triggering to bring up?

[Michelle Buteau]

No, it's not. It's not. I actually just this. This was like, three years ago. Three or four years ago. And it's really crazy because when you put your child out in the world and even just in daycare, you are trusting people fully and paying them to take care of your kid. And so when your kid comes home hurt, you want to burn it the fuck down. At least I do. And now there's, like, privacy clause so that, like, these institutions can't tell you who did it.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh. Because you're like, who did It.

[Michelle Buteau]

Who didn't? And. And it doesn't matter how famous you are, how much money you have or don't have, at the end of the day, this is your child, and somebody else hurt your kid, and it feels like nobody is protecting them except you. And so I remember leaving that day, and I told him, I said, you make me feel like a really bad mom because I trusted you guys to do the right thing, and you did not. You failed me and you failed her. Yeah. And I was like, you know, I'm here because, you know, she likes the teacher, but I'm leaving, and I'm gonna tell everybody what happened.

[Ego Wodem]

And what did. How did they take that?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know. I, I. It's just white blindness at that point.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

A bunch of white ladies being like, I'm sorry. It's like, get the out of my face.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

And it doesn't matter if their race, but sure. Kind of. And I'm just like, just, just, just do better. And so. Yeah. That was such a hard lesson.

[Ego Wodem]

I would feel convicted if you said that to me. You failed me and you failed her. That is damn a bar.

[Michelle Buteau]

I can't. I can't yell anymore. Yelling gets me.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yelling is unproductive. It really is.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, it's like road rage.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Then what?

[Ego Wodem]

And, yeah, you look silly. Like. Yes. You look so silly. Screaming and yelling and sometimes yelling, it can be cathartic if it's for the sake of catharsis, but it's really ineffective. Yelling at someone. Because you're yelling at someone, they're really not listening to you. All they're thinking is, stop screaming.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm gonna wait for you to stop yelling.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

I think singing at the top of your lungs is probably like, my yelling at this point.

[Ego Wodem]

The most aggressive.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

How. Okay. How are you in conflict generally?

[Michelle Buteau]

Would you say it's changing?

[Ego Wodem]

Tell me.

[Michelle Buteau]

I used to pop off. I used to pop off.

[Ego Wodem]

Pop off.

[Michelle Buteau]

I used to pop off. She's a Jersey girl. Sometimes I feel the little Jersey mall parking lot, like, creeping up in the back of my neck, and I'm like, not today or tomorrow.

[Ego Wodem]

That whole video.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's not how I'm gonna be on the Today show.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

But I realized that, you know, people are also going through something, and this is a learned behavior, and so I try to look at the bigger picture and have compassion for them. So in conflict, especially running, being the number one on the call sheet for three seasons.

[Ego Wodem]

Congrats.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you so much. It is a dream come true. But then Also, like, heavy as the head, right? So I know I'm gonna be talked about. I know I have to put out fires. I know I'm not gonna be everyone's favorite person, but as long as I come from a place of, like, unbridled honesty, truth, so, you know, I'm not fucking around. I'm just being honest and compassionate. I feel like even if they don't receive it or get it, I can sleep at night because I treated them the way that I would want to be treated in that situation. Do you know what I mean? So I try not to run from conflict like I used to, because I went from like, what'd you say, bitch? To I'm gonna ghost you and not deal with this to this is not sustainable. I have to actually, like, see people and work with them. And I've been with my husband since 2008. You can't, like, be with somebody fully if you can't meet yourself fully.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

So it's like, yeah, I. I don't mind talking about it, but also, you know, I'm tired, so I'm like, we have four and a half to seven minutes to get to the root of this because some motherfuckers keep going.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like a quiet friend that all of a sudden trusts you. It's like, shut up.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, no.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, don't stop talking.

[Ego Wodem]

Shut up.

[Michelle Buteau]

I gotta go to bed. I'm falling asleep. We did it.

[Ego Wodem]

We did it.

[Michelle Buteau]

We fell asleep together.

[Ego Wodem]

Four to seven, a timer.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, me too. I like to be efficient with my feelings.

[Ego Wodem]

I love it. So you're not, you're not going to be hyper verbose when you're in conflict.

[Michelle Buteau]

Hyper verbose. I know you better.

[Ego Wodem]

I know you heard me when I said confounding.

[Michelle Buteau]

I. I really did.

[Ego Wodem]

I.

[Michelle Buteau]

What in the Aila and the beat are going away. I love it.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yet,

[Michelle Buteau]

Michelle, you better.

[Ego Wodem]

You see what I'm trying to do over here?

[Michelle Buteau]

I love it.

[Ego Wodem]

This is the news.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. I trust you more than I trust the news.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, my goodness. Okay, so we going to get to it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Come on.

[Ego Wodem]

What? Which one of you, between you and your husband, is the, like, disciplinarian? Who's the fun parent? Who's the disciplinarian?

[Michelle Buteau]

We take turns.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay?

[Michelle Buteau]

We gotta take turns because, you know, I. I leave a lot to go film or do the road, and so he's gotta hold it down. But when I'm back, he loves to be like, okay, now I'm a good cap, you know? So we take turns. Yeah, yeah. And I think anytime after 8pm I'm just gonna be like, like, no, sit down, go back. Come on.

[Ego Wodem]

So they say they know.

[Michelle Buteau]

They know after 8:00pm I'm Denzel Washington. Never mind, go. Sometimes I turn into a light skin and Bernie Mac. I'm like, lay down, lay down.

[Ego Wodem]

And they do understand what you're saying?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, I mean they, they move like they do.

[Ego Wodem]

So you're sweet, you know, but like,

[Michelle Buteau]

it's a long day. It's 8pm you guts to go to bed now.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You know, 8:00pm I was a night owl for a very long time and now I'm like, I'm loving going to bed at like nine, like as a kid or as an adult even into adulthood. Well, into adulthood was like love to be up when everyone is asleep.

[Michelle Buteau]

But you have to like also do that in order to be like to do the job that you did before, right?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, you have to be.

[Michelle Buteau]

You gotta be up. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Drinking sugar free Red Bull celsius at like 11:30pm Yikes.

[Michelle Buteau]

At midnight I always just do a bump of co. It's way healthier.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you do cocaine?

[Michelle Buteau]

I used to. Not anymore, but it's great for adhd.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh really? Can you tell me more?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

I've never done cocaine.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, it's. Really?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Does that seem surprising because of what I did for work or because. No, my vibe? Why do you seem surprised? I've never done cocaine.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, no, no, I'm not surprised.

[Ego Wodem]

Well, now I'm insulted.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, no, don't be insulted or surprised.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Because first I was like, oh, she

[Michelle Buteau]

thinks that that's okay.

[Ego Wodem]

And then way. You don't, you don't think.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, it's really cute. I think it's really fun how like everybody was like it, like everybody was doing drugs and like, didn't know how to handle their lives. And now everybody has a food allergy and they're like in bed at 8 and so like I enjoy what's happening in life where people are just like, I can't be at my. My phone's got to be out of my bedroom. And I got. It's like, good for you, you know, Good for you. You're conflict free yoga mat.

[Ego Wodem]

Good for you.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, before people's teeth were falling out of their head and they never forgave their father or the mother for the fucking whatever the fuck. Right. And now it' which I love. Everyone's got white teeth in their side teeth. It's like, wow.

[Ego Wodem]

I don't know. Why were the side teeth missing by the way.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, wow.

[Ego Wodem]

I've asked a friend this. I genuinely don't know what was going on with the side teeth. And I mean that with kindness.

[Michelle Buteau]

I can't.

[Hoda Kotb]

No.

[Ego Wodem]

And maybe this is coming from a privileged place, but I didn't understand.

[Michelle Buteau]

Not a privileged place because I have

[Ego Wodem]

my side teeth and I floss every day. Yeah. So what do you think?

[Michelle Buteau]

I think teeth really is just DNA. I think it's DNA just like the tight puss or the loose puss or the loose puss. I think a lot of it. It's like you can do as much as you can do, but DNA gonna catch up with you.

[Ego Wodem]

Damn.

[Michelle Buteau]

I think so. And I think they're probably like. They're just like one of the first ones to fall out because you use them the most. Right. And then you grind your teeth and I don't know. But shout out to the missing side teeth community. I'm with you. I stand with you. Thank you for your service, thoughts and prayers. And also shout out to the Audi belly button community.

[Ego Wodem]

I had an Audi.

[Michelle Buteau]

And now you don't.

[Ego Wodem]

My shit went any.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

Can you believe.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Michelle Buteau]

You really have a little shit inside yourself. How'd you do that?

[Ego Wodem]

It just happened one day. I said, where did it go? It was out and then it was in.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, look at that.

[Ego Wodem]

Can you believe that?

[Michelle Buteau]

You guys, whatever you want in your life, I want that for you.

[Ego Wodem]

Manifestation. I didn't try for an innie. It just looked down one day and I was like, oh, my gosh, My belly button is inside.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

My belly is crazy.

[Michelle Buteau]

You've really lived two different lives.

[Ego Wodem]

I have. And I. I want to just take a moment as well to thank the side tooth missing community as well. Yes. And say that I stand with you also because I maybe it seemed like I don't stand with you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. No, I stand with you too. And I sit with you and I cat cow with you.

[Ego Wodem]

And you know, I'm gonna do tree pose with you. Fuck it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, wow. I'm gonna do a tree pose too. And a sun salutation. You know, it's hard, especially when, like, health care is a luxury and dental isn't even included in health care. It's like, you know what? It's like it. Why is it considered cosmetic when you can't even get a job if you don't have, like, a certain amount of teeth?

[Ego Wodem]

You know what I mean?

[Michelle Buteau]

Well.

[Ego Wodem]

And honest to God, I just didn't know. I have asked, not trying to be me. I just didn't know why they were Falling out. I didn't know. Yeah, but I think.

[Michelle Buteau]

Jeanette, we gotta get a dentist.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm gonna get a dentist on the podcast next. Yes, any dentist.

[Michelle Buteau]

Aren't you a dentist?

[Ego Wodem]

Dentist. You can talk, it's fine. I'm not a dentist. Okay. Are you Australian?

[Michelle Buteau]

Are you missing a side tooth?

[Ego Wodem]

Are you Australian?

[Michelle Buteau]

English.

[Ego Wodem]

English. Okay. Well, what happened with the side tooth? What's the story? It broke. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Sometimes it breaks, sometimes it breaks. Michelle.

[Ego Wodem]

That's what I was trying to tell you, that sometimes it breaks the side tooth, sometimes it breaks. So moving. Moving on. Look at this.

[Ad Read Announcer]

1 and 4.

[Michelle Buteau]

And he was the one in the

[Ego Wodem]

four of the four. One. Is that a real statistic?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know. That's. That's the statistic they use on gum commercials with dentists.

[Ego Wodem]

One in four adults.

[Michelle Buteau]

One in four dentists approve.

[Ego Wodem]

Absolutely.

[Hoda Kotb]

Joy is essential, and it's also elusive. You can't order it, you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life. But now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.

[Michelle Buteau]

Joy 101.

[Hoda Kotb]

It's a new podcast hosted by me, how to Kotbi. Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience Joy. And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting and moving on air chats. Joy after a breakup. Joy as an empty nester. Joy after a loss. Joy as a caretaker. This new podcast will speak to you. Listen to Joy 101 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ad Read Announcer]

I love the sounds. The buzzing from the stadium, the chanting from the fans, the announcements calling the place soccer. Football at home.

[Ego Wodem]

Why do I watch the World Cup?

[Michelle Buteau]

That's like asking me, why do I breed?

[Ad Read Announcer]

I inherited that fandom from my mom.

[Michelle Buteau]

I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force.

[Ad Read Announcer]

From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Echabarri, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the US and its underdog river. We go beyond the game to the people and the stories that make it great.

[Michelle Buteau]

A soccer game is a festival. It's not just a game. It's your culture. I took an elbow to my head, which cracked my skull. It is an American game. The Brazilians don't like hearing that, though.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Are they the only ones that don't like that?

[Michelle Buteau]

Nobody likes that.

[Ad Read Announcer]

As we get ready for the Men's World cup this summer, listen to American football as part of the Mike Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Post people do not wait for the perfect time. They learn between shifts and family dinners at Post University. Online education is built for busy schedules so you can keep moving forward without putting life on hold. And Post makes it personal. With support from real people who care about your goals. Become a Post person. Learn more at post.

[Michelle Buteau]

Edu.

[Ad Read Announcer]

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[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

You are going into. Is it the third. Third season of shooting of Survival of the Thickest How. Okay, beyond handling, you know, conflict. Yes. And being the star of a show which, by the way, congratu fucking lations.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you so much.

[Ego Wodem]

That is not a small thing in this climate of the industry.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

What. What is it like being a leader on set? Beyond.

[Michelle Buteau]

So fun. Is it so fun, you know, when people say words like natural born leader, it's just, you know, it isn't even like, leader and, like, do what I say. It's like, I want to bring out the best in everybody. And I'm like, let's go fly. You know, like. Like every Cyndi Lauper music video in the 80s where she's like, come on, girls. And like, everyone follows her down the cobblestone street to like, that's what it feels like. I'm like, everybody bring it past self. You know what I mean? And I don't do cocaine anymore.

[Ego Wodem]

I do want. Okay, so cocaine. But what was it like? Sorry, because I also.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's great. What's that thing that you take to make your brain? What's the medicine that you would take to make Adderall?

[Hoda Kotb]

Adderall.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's like Adderall.

[Ego Wodem]

It's Adderall?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Illegal Adderall.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

It is illegal, right?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Okay. Well, I wasn't trying to send you to jail. You were like, bitch. And a police officer standing right outside the studio. Here we've got a dentist.

[Michelle Buteau]

I love that. Fuck ice.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And so it's like Adderall. It just programs your brain in a way where you can focus.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, wow.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. And then be up and then be friendly. If you have social anxiety, you're chatty. You know, it's not a good look because it makes you, like, grind your teeth. But, like, you know, it's been so long. Like, it's been. I'm not even. Like, it's just been so long. It's been a very long time. But, you know, I think at a certain point, you do look like that scene from Wolf of Wall Street. Everyone's a mess. Just a met. Like a dolly paint. Is that the name of the artist?

[Ego Wodem]

I was about to say the Dali. I don't know, but you meant Salvador. Salvador Dali.

[Michelle Buteau]

Tomato Salvador.

[Ego Wodem]

The melting. The melting. The Picasso.

[Michelle Buteau]

Whatever.

[Ego Wodem]

Potato Picasso.

[Michelle Buteau]

But, yeah, season three was especially special because we knew it was going to be the final season. Netflix was able to give us that gift of letting us know, hey, you can come back. However, this is where it ends. So go off. And we were like, thank you. Because a lot of times, you know, you create out of a space of anxiety, you know, hoping that you can get another season and hoping if you just do this or if you just book that person or you just write the storyline or get that set or whatever it is. And it was so liberating just to say what a beautiful personal trilogy. This is how we end. And an ending is always a beginning. And so that's what this was. And it was really fucking great. That's special. I'm so excited.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And it's. And a lot of people don't even know it's a book. Like, I wrote the book first.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. I didn't know it was a book. Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Survival the Thickest. I wrote a book. It came out, like, December 8, 2020. So we were like, right in Covid. There was no book tour. There was no best sellers list. You know, I was really just making videos from, like, my bathroom or something, just saying, I have a book. And everyone like, why is this bitch so crazy? And it was like, you know, and even my special welcome to Utopia came out in September of 2020. And so I remember it came out the night that the first debate between, I believe it was Hillary and no it was Biden and Trump. And I'm like, oh, I'm going against, you know, capitalism and, you know, disease and viruses and politics, and it's really hard making art when there's so much shit in the world. You know, like at one point I want to be posting about my shows, but someone has just been kidnapped or killed and it's just like, hey, guys, if you feel like laughing. But, like, we do, like, we do need to laugh. We do need the joy. And so, you know, I don't take for granted that this is a beautiful space, platform, an international platform to really lean in and carry out my mission statement, where it's just, I've always said it's not us that needs to catch up to the world, it's the world that needs to catch up to us. So that's why I will always include every fat, black, brown, queer person because, you know, we need to see ourselves have a fucking happy ending. You know, it can't just be this pain porn where it's just like, oh, did they find her body? It's just like, no, we deserve love. We deserve deserved. And I always say to get dicked down and to have, like, fun sex scenes and, you know, everything isn't. Everything isn't meant to be traumatic.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, I mean, life is gonna. Life. But, you know, if I have this page space, I want to bring joy to people and laugh. You know what I mean? Like, cook, mommy. Like, cook, Mommy.

[Ego Wodem]

You know what I mean?

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, it's just, you know, like living rent free in someone's head is like, the best. It's like the ultimate compliment for comedy.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. I have to agree. It's amazing to see how much your comedy impacts and resonates with people. And I have to ask, is your mission statement that it's not us that needs to catch up to the world, but the world that needs to catch up to us? Is that the mission statement? Yes, that is the mission statement. That's a great mission statement. Thank you so much.

[Michelle Buteau]

I have a lot of mantras. I'm the only child.

[Ego Wodem]

You are? Yeah. Oh, boy. You don't seem like it to me.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's what people say.

[Ego Wodem]

You don't seem like it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you.

[Ego Wodem]

No shade to the only children.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm making enemies to children with no side teeth. I want to get out of here.

[Hoda Kotb]

No.

[Ego Wodem]

What are some of your other mantras?

[Michelle Buteau]

Don't tell yourself no before other people tell you no. The minute you tell yourself no, it's over.

[Ego Wodem]

I like to say, don't be Your own no. So same vibes. Yes. It's like. But you're right. And I need to remember that one. Okay. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

I can't remember.

[Ego Wodem]

That's okay. That's plenty of mantras. If you guys want more mantras.

[Michelle Buteau]

Get. They don't wanna hear from you. They're gonna hear about you.

[Hoda Kotb]

You.

[Michelle Buteau]

Ooh. So I use that in dating.

[Ego Wodem]

Can you.

[Michelle Buteau]

And then I applied it to industry.

[Ego Wodem]

I need you to elaborate on that one for me, please.

[Michelle Buteau]

If they don't want to hear from you, let them hear about you. Their no doesn't mean that's. That's not going to hinder your. Yes. Right. And so for me, I'm just like, if people don't understand you, then they're like, you are not there for them to get. Be so amazing and so powerful and so dynamic that one day they're gonna look at your and be like, oh, now I see it. But in that moment, don't drag yourself down with the. I need to explain myself to you. You know, I had a friend tell me, go where you're celebrated, not tolerated. Because I was trying to find my way in. Stand up because I had a foot in every door. And I'm like, I don't feel welcome anywhere except for the stage.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

But all the trying to get to this stage really bums me out. And so, you know, perspective is. It is a survival technique. And once I realized this is the hard stuff you have to do to get to the good stuff, then it's okay. Do the hard stuff. And now it's just easier because I know it's gonna be some bullshit, but get me on that stage.

[Ego Wodem]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Get me on that motherfucking stage. And so. Yeah. And also for any comedian who's like, really trying to figure out how to get themselves to the next level, whatever that means, like, you are the level. So write some shit. Don't say I want to go second or third on it. Go anywhere on a lineup and be so undeniable and so hard to follow. And shit will happen for you, I promise.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, you don't even need all your side teeth.

[Ego Wodem]

You don't. And you could be an only child. You know, let Michelle be. Be a. This is a face is what happened to the real one.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's such a good follow up. No one ever asked that.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm a ask. What did you do to end up here in prison?

[Michelle Buteau]

I bit into a bagel one night and it just like came out, but.

[Ego Wodem]

Hard ass bagel.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. In college, I didn't. I didn't. I drank a lot. I brushed my teeth, but I didn't. I didn't realize that, like there was a lot of sugar and drink drinks and I got a cavity. And then I didn't know I was supposed to like cap it and do all this other follow up. And so years later, it just came out. I actually wrote a chapter about it called Tooth Be Told in Survival of the Thickest now available. I don't know, probably on Amazon. Sorry. And also my website.

[Ego Wodem]

Go to the website michellebitau.org go to the website.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, it's a.org because.com got stolen. Did you know it expires and you got to read up, otherwise people will buy. No.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, come on, get the potion. I didn't know that, but now we know. And knowing is simply half the battle. Okay, you remember that one? You remember that one?

[Michelle Buteau]

I love it.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

There were never any tracks.

[Ego Wodem]

There were never any. What's that?

[Michelle Buteau]

Because I was thinking like, we're off the tracks, but there never were any tracks.

[Ego Wodem]

I guess I want to ask more about that. Sure. But I'm really fascinated by. By tooth. Be told. Yeah. Your tooth fell out eating a bagel.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

That must have been really hard.

[Michelle Buteau]

It was. I was working the overnight shift at NBC. I used to be a news editor at 30 Rock, and I thought, wow, that's a really hard bagel. That's wild. And then I saw my tooth in the bagel and I was like, what? And it was like two in the morning. I called my dad and I was like, what do I do? And he's like, you have to go to the dentist. I was like, God, you're so smart. You're just a real smart.

[Ego Wodem]

Were you a daddy script?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, still am.

[Ego Wodem]

You still are?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

He's 86. He's got dementia now. He doesn't know who I am, but he's so happy to see me. Oh, still, that's cool.

[Ego Wodem]

How. What has your process of dealing with the fact that he has dementia been like? Because I have friends whose parents are also in that place and are dealing with Alzheimer's as well. But yeah. What was your process like?

[Michelle Buteau]

I think because so many women in my family have already had it, I kind of understand what it's like, but so I'm going to be 49 and so I understand what it's like. It's really sad for me to see my kids be scared of him and be like, who's the old man that's shaky and Wants to, like, hold our hands. Because I want them to know the gregarious, fun loving, you know, Haitian dude with the chest hair and the gold chains, always putting on music and barbecuing and, you know, spinning people and. And in the kitchen. And so they don't know that side of him at all. They just know this little Haitian Benjamin Button man, which is just like, oh, no. But, yeah, I mean, I feel like I get to. In the beginning, I was like, God, this goodbye is very expensive. But now I just feel like, oh, this is also life. Like, I get to see this other side of him. And I feel really. He would be really proud of me to know that I am doing what I love to do and I get to support my family doing what I love to do. And that is why he migrated. That's why he left his country. So I could be fucking doing this.

[Ego Wodem]

This.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. So I don't know. He still gives me a high five even though he doesn't know who I am.

[Ego Wodem]

But he's excited to see you, which is really dope because not everybody gets that is my understanding. So that is really cool.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Somehow his heart still.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, he was a little aggressive in the beginning.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, the high fives were.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. No, we had to, like, hide knives, like. Yeah. And that's like part of the turn where they start forgetting stuff. They don't know who they are. They're saying crazy stories. They take out the knives and they're just, like, doing. And it's just like, we went through it, you know, it wasn't just like, we woke up one day and he doesn't know us and we love each other. You know, there's banging on the door. There's, like, tempers, but, I mean, when you love somebody down, like, what are you gonna do? You gotta take care of them. I. I hope my kids would wanna take care of me.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You know, I imagine you invest in them enough and love on them.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's the fucking point.

[Ego Wodem]

You would think some of the kids are lawless. Did you feel as an only child, did it feel in any way, like, pressure, though, like, I have to do this? It did. It did. Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

I mean, yes. Jamaica and Haiti and the only child and a girl. It's on me.

[Ego Wodem]

It is. It was on you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Have you ever. You. Have you wished you had siblings?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. I used to put on the Christmas list when I was little. I always wanted a sibling.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, that is sweet.

[Michelle Buteau]

I always want a sibling. And I do call, like, my friends, my chosen family. You know, But a lot of my friends are just like, just be lucky you don't have a sibling. Because sometimes they're dusty and I'm like, what? More work than anything, bitch. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I didn't even think that it could be bad.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Grass is always greener when you're standing in shit. Yeah, it's true. It's true.

[Michelle Buteau]

Do you have siblings?

[Ego Wodem]

I do. I'm the youngest of four. Four what?

[Michelle Buteau]

People.

[Ego Wodem]

Four humans. Can you believe four humans? I'm the youngest. I have two older brothers and a sister.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

But I'm the baby. It's nice being the youngest. I have to say, there's a youngest privilege that goes on. By that time, the parents are kind of like, we did this before. We're not freaking out. Zero pressure. Strict. Yeah. Way less pressure. And then I was like, everyone's kid. Which for a moment was not enjoyable. Being like, everyone's child. Like, that's too many elders and parents. But then at a certain point, it was like, I'm everyone's kid, but I'm kind of grown, but I'm everyone's kid. And now it's. We're past that. I have nieces. Oh, I love that.

[Michelle Buteau]

I must be so proud of you. Like, you are the Beyonce of the family.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, my God. When I tell you my nieces do not give a damn about.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, oh, no.

[Ego Wodem]

But they're babies. So we've got like a little baby, a two year old, and a four year old.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

So I was like, the minute you

[Michelle Buteau]

take them to Disney World for free or something, or like Sesame street or something. You know what I mean?

[Ego Wodem]

Is that the thing I need to do next? Okay. I need to make that happen.

[Michelle Buteau]

The minute you have, like, pull, they're like, whoa.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. I was like, I'm a voice in Gabby's Dollhouse.

[Michelle Buteau]

They were like, cool.

[Ego Wodem]

I love Gabby's Dollhouse. And that was the extent. That's all I got.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God.

[Ego Wodem]

I was like, me, please.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. I love Gabby's Dollhouse.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, so they do. They didn't care that I was a part.

[Michelle Buteau]

I care.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you, Michelle.

[Michelle Buteau]

Are you the cat? Who are you, Gabby?

[Ego Wodem]

I'm not Gabby. I forgot my character's name. I've been doing so much vo.

[Michelle Buteau]

I forgot, and you have to forgive me. You should.

[Ego Wodem]

You forget.

[Michelle Buteau]

I think when I like to say when we're living the dream, we're also sleepwalking.

[Ego Wodem]

It's true.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, it's really true.

[Ego Wodem]

And you gotta be blessed do you have like a morning gratitude practice of any sort?

[Michelle Buteau]

No, I'm just like. I'm fucking up. Everything is working. I'm just glad everything. You gotta wake it up is dead.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm peeing straight. Gotta keep it real simple.

[Ego Wodem]

Is your pelvic floor strong?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know. I gotta ask her.

[Ego Wodem]

How you doing, girl?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know. Everything is a modified version at this point. You know what I mean? So I don't know how strong it is anything. I think it is, but I am one sneeze away from ruining this chair.

[Ego Wodem]

So is that's a weak pelvic floor.

[Ad Read Announcer]

It is,

[Ego Wodem]

Michelle.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know. I don't know what the infrastructure's doing.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. You don't know.

[Michelle Buteau]

It carry me from point A to point B. So I thought it was good.

[Ego Wodem]

Don't ask any more questions. That was ridiculous.

[Michelle Buteau]

Need a HGTV episode up in here. Love it or leave it. No, love it or list it.

[Ego Wodem]

Love it or list it. We'll find out next episode. We're gonna next episode of the podcast. We have a dentist. We're gonna have OBGYN in here. Oh, it's fun.

[Michelle Buteau]

I would love to get a perhaps wear in public. I think it would be very healing.

[Ego Wodem]

Genuinely.

[Michelle Buteau]

I would.

[Ego Wodem]

You would get a pap smear in public? Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Cover it up.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, okay. See, I'm thinking like, no, but what's the point of doing it in public? Because you're not gonna let everyone see the coochie.

[Michelle Buteau]

What? Ma', am,

[Ego Wodem]

I am a mother.

[Hoda Kotb]

Miss.

[Michelle Buteau]

Ma', Am, Put some respect on that coochie. We're gonna have my waxer. All the teachers for my kids school. No, I think it's. I think more people need to see how easy it is and seamless these appointments are. So they're not afraid to go.

[Ego Wodem]

That's true.

[Michelle Buteau]

But yeah, I just don't want to get poked in public. Although, sounds kind of nice.

[Ego Wodem]

Does. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

See, you never did it in public.

[Ego Wodem]

Getting a pap smear in public.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, I'm getting. No, no, I'm talking about sex.

[Ego Wodem]

I was like, no, I haven't gotten a pap smear. Do they do those?

[Michelle Buteau]

No, no, no, they don't. But if you dream big.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, you wish.

[Ego Wodem]

Anything can happen. It's what you've taught us here.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

You better go find Nemo.

[Ego Wodem]

I need to go find Nemo.

[Michelle Buteau]

O. Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Thinking on it. Let me think on it. Let me pray on it.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm so sorry.

[Ego Wodem]

Wait, Michelle, how do you stay creative? Given. Given the climate. How do you stay creative?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. If anything, I force myself to sit down and finish my ideas because I know that we need them more than ever. We can't look at the news all the time. We, you know, we. We can't. We can't unsee what we've seen. And like now it isn't even that we're getting old enough to understand how violent the world is. The world is just getting more violent. And you have to laugh. Laughing is healing. Laughter is medicine. I'm a network.

[Ego Wodem]

You're a network?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. Cause I'm a doctor.

[Ego Wodem]

You're a doctor of comedy.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm a doctor of laughter. But, like, yeah. So I think if anything, the more the darker things get, like, the more I'm putting pen to paper.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Because all those ideas are swimming in there. If you talk to anybody creative, you know, like, everyone got an idea from 20 years ago or two minutes ago, or you come up with something on the spot. We have 11,100 million trillion fucking ideas. And there's always something to do in life so we don't get to it. What if we actually had time to get to it so, like, you know, we never will. But give yourself time to get to some of it.

[Ego Wodem]

You try.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Juggling all your responsibilities. Then what does it look like? Cause you're on the show, you've got the kids. Kids. You're married.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

You have you dad. Parents. And so where do we squeeze that in? Like, what does it look like, squeezing it in? Is it like an hour here?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like I go retreat to our lake house and sit by a typewriter. It sounds nice. It's not real.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Ad Read Announcer]

It's not.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, whenever I can take the time, I do. And sometimes my daughter is like, you know, will you stay in bed with me? Because, you know, I want some company and I've been away or whatever, and I'm like, I love this, but. And I asked her, do you mind if I bring my computer into the bedroom so I can just finish my ideas? Because I have ideas that I want to finish. She's like, absolutely. I'm like, okay, great. And I said, maybe I'll sell these ideas, maybe I won't. But I just want to get them done.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And so, you know, I find the time when I can. Do I want to bring a screen into my daughter's room? No, but when your mind is going, you have to write it down.

[Ego Wodem]

It's true. Because have you ever tried to Return to an idea. And then ultimately felt like, ugh, I. I didn't strike while the iron was hot and while I felt excited about this thing.

[Michelle Buteau]

And I'm like, oh, I'll remember it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't. I have to leave myself a voice note. And that's the fun thing, too. There's so many ways to, like, remind ourselves how to do stuff now.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Cause pen to paper, what the fuck? I might as well put that letter on a pigeon. A3 at Raven House of Dragon. You at. Did you get my mail? I don't know.

[Ego Wodem]

Is there something that you wanted to do do that you have not yet been able to do, but you're manifesting for yourself? And what is that thing?

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, there's always this moment of, like, I never. I never was one to

[Ad Read Announcer]

really be

[Michelle Buteau]

into competitions, you know, whether it's sports or, like, even the awards and stuff, because I'm like, you're only in competition with yourself. And that's exactly how comedy kind of raises you. It's like, you do better. Your team's your team. But, like, you do better, but now knowing how the sausage is made a little bit. A little bit, right? Because, like, the more access you have is just because you have more money for the access. And I ain't got that money like that. But I hear about the things like that, the things in the money some people have with the money, you know, but the three seasons and the stuff. It would be nice to just be on some lists for a week. Awards. I don't. I don't. I know that, like, the worth of my show and. And. And my art is not defined by awards, but the recognition after 25 years would be nice. I'm not gonna lie. It would be nice.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And it isn't even like an award to put something on a shelf. I don't. I don't even need a shelf. Like, you know, do you have room

[Ego Wodem]

for a shelf and you. This.

[Michelle Buteau]

I got enough shelves on the body shelf. Titty meat shelves.

[Ego Wodem]

A booty shelf, too. Oh, nice.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, yes.

[Ego Wodem]

That gluteus medius, I believe.

[Michelle Buteau]

Brazilian cut jeans were hard. Talk about a public pap smear.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, good. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Anyway.

[Ego Wodem]

Anyway. No, don't be sorry. There's nothing to apologize for.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Nothing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you.

[Ego Wodem]

We're doing great.

[Michelle Buteau]

I own it. Yeah, you better cook my meat. You better cook motherfucking meat. Listen, so sorry.

[Ego Wodem]

No, it's okay. But I want to talk about you getting an award.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm so sorry.

[Ego Wodem]

Don't say sorry. Don't do you apologize a lot?

[Michelle Buteau]

Of course.

[Ego Wodem]

Why?

[Michelle Buteau]

Because I have a vagina and a vulva.

[Ego Wodem]

For a second I was like, and a Volvo. I said, of course this family woman has a Volvo.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's a Toyota Sienna. But it used to be a Volvo anyway. Very, very well made car. But yeah, that would, that would be nice. It would be. Especially as like social media and streaming platforms make the world smaller. I think in a good way. It would be great that where Netflix is in like 190 or 91 countries that like everybody watches the show, you know, and it isn't even just to know my name, it's to, to feel seen or to receive an education through love and laughter. If you don't know somebody non binary queer, you know, or trans or questioning or, or, you know, you knew somebody fat from school and like, you know, you were addict to them and now like, whatever it is, I'm just like, watch the show. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

How does it feel for you to acknowledge it would be nice to get an award? Does it feel like, vulnerable? It does, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

It used to feel a little gross. It's definitely vulnerable. But I do think that words have power. So I don't mind and saying it out loud.

[Ego Wodem]

And I'm gonna agree with you. I want Michelle to get an award for survival of the thickest.

[Michelle Buteau]

I was like, sorry, sorry.

[Ego Wodem]

My words have power. Sorry, I'm sorry.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, but thank you. Yeah, thank you.

[Ego Wodem]

Because why not? Why not? Why? Absolutely not. And while you're right, the awards don't validate. Don't validate your work or make your work any more valuable.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

It's nice to get recognized.

[Michelle Buteau]

It would be nice.

[Ego Wodem]

It would be nice after all the work you've put in in and the years put into the game. Yes. To be recognized. That would be really nice.

[Michelle Buteau]

I think so.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. I want that for you also.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you so much.

[Ego Wodem]

Did we sit? Did we do it? Did we do a thing like this once? You and I? Were we ever on a. On one of those, like award circuit thingies? Why do I feel like we did.

[Michelle Buteau]

We did like a variety. No. Hollywood Reporter table. Yeah, Round table.

[Ego Wodem]

A round table. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. It was really fun. It was us.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. I'm having memories of it now. That feels like 100 years ago.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wig. Maya Rudolph Quinta. Branson Quinta.

[Ego Wodem]

Queen Quinta.

[Michelle Buteau]

And who is the lovely lady from Girls 5 ever?

[Ego Wodem]

Elise.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, Elise. Was there somebody else?

[Ego Wodem]

I feel there was. And if there was, forgive us because that was a hundred years ago.

[Michelle Buteau]

It was.

[Ego Wodem]

Everyone was incredible. Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

That Was really fun.

[Ego Wodem]

That's fun. How does that. Are those, like, circuits? Do you get stressed? Do you get. Or how do you manage?

[Michelle Buteau]

No, no. Why would it be stressful?

[Ego Wodem]

Just like the. Doing the award circuit. So not like the table itself, but just like the.

[Michelle Buteau]

I've never done the award circuit.

[Ego Wodem]

Really? That was it then.

[Michelle Buteau]

That was. It started.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. We're gonna get you on an award circuit. I didn't do the award circuit.

[Michelle Buteau]

I mean, full disclosure, Netflix and I have talked about it, and we even did, like, an article with, I believe, Variety about it. But we start. We did the ramp up, and then there was what I was told a human clinical error to submit me for an Emmy.

[Ego Wodem]

I think I saw one of your posts that said something like this. That sucks.

[Michelle Buteau]

It does, right? It does, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Do we know who the person was? The human will never.

[Michelle Buteau]

No. Right.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. So

[Ego Wodem]

I'd be mad.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. It's my waxing lady.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

She's like, enough of this puss. But, yeah, I mean, yeah, things happen that are so out of your control, it's, like, really wild. So that's why you got to keep your head down and keep creating.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure. Are you type A or type B?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know.

[Ego Wodem]

Controlling or null?

[Michelle Buteau]

Depends.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

I like. I like a good. Like. Like, I'll do this, you do that. Do you know what I mean?

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. You don't have to know. I like to ask people their sign, whether they're type A or type B. Oh, what's your sign?

[Michelle Buteau]

So I'm a Leo. Leo Rising. Scorpio Moon.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Yeah. I want you to know that I don't know too much about any of it, but I love to ask.

[Michelle Buteau]

I know a little bit.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. What is my. My niece is a Leo. The one who doesn't care about.

[Michelle Buteau]

Is she in August Leo or July?

[Ego Wodem]

July Leo.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Some of my closest friends are. Are July Leos.

[Michelle Buteau]

That makes sense. You're a performer.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you. What's. Are you a July Leo then? Of course I am. Okay, so what. What does it mean?

[Michelle Buteau]

July Leo is a little different from August Leo because they're a little more. I mean, they're decisive in a way that is more like community organizing. More like, I like things like this. How do you like them? More of, like, service. More. More that. And August Leo. Sorry, Come like, you know, come at me if you want. And August Leo is more like. It's what you think a Leo is. It's, like, fiery. Yeah, it's me. It's My time. It's my time to shine. Let's go. It's a healthy ego, but it's just like, whoa. Who loves himself that much in August?

[Ego Wodem]

August Leo.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Good to know. I'm gonna keep that in my back pocket.

[Michelle Buteau]

And my front zipper.

[Ego Wodem]

My front zip. I have two pockets. I don't have any pockets.

[Michelle Buteau]

What side are you?

[Ego Wodem]

I'm a PIs, Michelle.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's fun.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. What do you think that that means?

[Michelle Buteau]

Well, Pisces is deep water. You run deep, so it's deep, right? And a Pisces always has a moment where it changes. Because you can go, you know, against the grain, start your life like that. Or you can, you know, go with the flow. But at some point, you change and you figure out who you are, and you're like, oh, I've been really tough. I should go get along more with things. It'll be easier. Or you've been, like, a people pleaser and you're like, no, fuck this. Boundary boundaries. And everyone thinks you're, like, very difficult. But what I do love about a Pisces is the loyalty and the ability to take, take, take, take, take. Until that one moment, it's. It's like, you ain't never gonna see me again. And if you do, it won't be in the same way.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

I fuck with Pisces.

[Ego Wodem]

I've been read. I've been read. It's accurate. It's accurate.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's so fun.

[Ego Wodem]

Can I ask who you don't with on this? On the signs, like, off top, you hear someone is a blank. You're like, nah, I can't.

[Michelle Buteau]

We're all God's children.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, Michelle.

[Michelle Buteau]

I will say, if there is a sag vag we got, we should just.

[Ego Wodem]

We should just.

[Michelle Buteau]

We should just have an aside. We should just say hi first.

[Ego Wodem]

Check, like dogs where they have to do a butt test. A butt test. A little sniff. Let's say no.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, a Satchvadge is like Janelle Monae, Britney Spears, you know, very. Like, people that, like, fill a room. And I'm. I'm just gonna. I'll be here for you. Oh, I'll be here for you.

[Ego Wodem]

You're doing such a good job of being polite right now.

[Michelle Buteau]

But they're also, like, very fun but all consuming.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. And that's a lot for you. Are you more extroverted or introverted generally?

[Michelle Buteau]

I. I think I'm a mix. Am I an extrovert? Am I Amber versus?

[Ego Wodem]

We've talked about this, but it's Amber it's like a little mix of both. Yes. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. With my people, it's amazing, but if I'm in, like, new spaces, I let everybody do what they're gonna do. I love to clock a room. I can. I'm reading everything. I'm reading energy. I'm taking it all in, and I go, like, I don't have to be the loudest in order to, like, have the most fun. And so when people need to do that, I'm like, they should do that.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's where they're at in their life.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure. Yes, yes, yes. I think I'm similar, and I'm not a July Leo, but I'm. I think I'm very much like, okay, what's the vibe? I'm taking it all.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

But I think it's also a little bit of the Baltimore in me.

[Michelle Buteau]

Just, like, read the room. I love people from Baltimore.

[Ego Wodem]

Well, you love me and you love a Pisces.

[Michelle Buteau]

I do. I really love people from Baltimore that leave, though.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You know, I understand. You know what I mean?

[Michelle Buteau]

Because it's like, we could go. Because it's so close to other places.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

But it's. It's one of those places.

[Ego Wodem]

Have you ever considered an lady?

[Michelle Buteau]

I did it for two years, and I was like, bye.

[Ego Wodem]

Why bye?

[Michelle Buteau]

It was the first time I really realized I had anxiety because I was never truly able to celebrate anything. If I got a call back for an audition, people would be like, I booked a movie. And I'm like, okay. It was always like, this comparison of, like, what I have and what you don't. And comedy saves me. Like, it just, like, regulates my nervous system in a way where I'm like, oh, my God, this. And I couldn't even do stand up. There it was at the time, it was like, the same 15 people that were, like, industry darlings that were doing a bar show to the comedy club, and I couldn't get on anywhere. And I'm like, I just have to go to New York. Because if I don't do stand up at that time, at least, like, five nights in a week, I felt like I didn't have enough water. And so the minute I came back to New York, I felt whole and free. I was on the subway. I was doing me. And then I booked something like that. I put on. I put myself on tape on my iPhone and had to go back to la. And I was like, this is how we're gonna do la.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Pop in.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm gonna be in New York. But I'll come see you when I see you.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Yeah. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

LA is a side family.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I can't stay here.

[Michelle Buteau]

I cannot. I cannot.

[Ego Wodem]

Michelle, you don't seem like the type of person who would suffer fools.

[Michelle Buteau]

I try not to. Unless I'm like, really related to them.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, you're like.

[Michelle Buteau]

And even then I'm like, this is

[Ego Wodem]

what it's gonna be. I'm not.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Did you ever have a stint where you dealt with fuckboys?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. Yeah, but I was like, I was on top physically. Yes. Well, I used to take life so seriously. And so I had a very serious boyfriend in high school. He was Muslim. I thought I was gonna convert to Islam. I would go to the mosque every Sunday and I was like. Cause I want to, like, get married to have sex.

[Ego Wodem]

Uh huh. Not too, not too stupid.

[Michelle Buteau]

And then he ended up fucking my best friend at the time. He cheated. He cheated this girl who was a white girl with a bubble butt. Ooh.

[Ego Wodem]

So you understood when you mentioned the bubble butt, it's cause you're like, I get it. She had a bubble butt.

[Michelle Buteau]

Don't cheat.

[Ego Wodem]

But you got a shelf. But you got a shelf.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, but he wanted the bubble and that's okay.

[Ego Wodem]

But don't you. You have. You only have a shelf? No bubble.

[Michelle Buteau]

I had a little bubble, but not like her bubble.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Cause she was short, so her bubble was like close to the ground.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, I see. A down to earth bubble.

[Michelle Buteau]

A down to earth bubble. No. You know, and then I had a college boyfriend. Boyfriend who I thought I was gonna marry. And then I've learned that he didn't know how to read.

[Ego Wodem]

And I. I heard you say that on this American Life or Death, Sex and Money. You told the story on a podcast. And I heard it before I ever met you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yo.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Before I ever met you, I lived in LA and I heard this story. I know the story. He couldn't read. I remember you realized he couldn't read. Yes. You told it on a podcast. I did.

[Michelle Buteau]

I think it was just American life.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Because it was a real story. And people were like, how did you not know? Why would you stay with that? And I was like, two or three years in, I was already in. In love.

[Ego Wodem]

You're like, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And adult literacy is like, real. And he dropped out of school when he was in fifth grade because his dad died and he was depressed and his mom was so depressed and left with so many bills, she had to work two, three jobs and didn't even know he wasn't going to school. So like, it wasn't like he just woke up stupid. He was just like, I can't handle life. Yeah, it's a real thing. But he also ended up cheating on me. So I was like, you know what? What? So I said, the boys. I'mma just the boys.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Yeah, the fuck boys. I'm gonna just.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's how I met my husband.

[Ego Wodem]

The boys.

[Michelle Buteau]

I fucked my way to the right one.

[Ego Wodem]

You. Your way to the right one.

[Michelle Buteau]

Just one night stand. And he.

[Ego Wodem]

And, and he. So he was a one night stand. He was like, but I'm trying to be with you.

[Michelle Buteau]

He. Yeah, he really was just like, she's magical. And I'm like, you're right. But I don't know how to say your name. And you going back to Amsterdam and I don't even know where Holland is, so you gots to go now. Yeah, it was wild.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, wow.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, he kept in touch with me.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, really? Were you a little like, okay, what is he so pressed? He's so pressed.

[Michelle Buteau]

This European. He really is. I was like, like jock.

[Ego Wodem]

But you were a lover girl thinking you were gonna marry everybody. With all due respect, you thought everybody was your husband.

[Michelle Buteau]

It was so funny. I did. And then I was like, I'm never getting married.

[Ego Wodem]

After the second infidelity, I was like,

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm not gonna get married. I couldn't even imagine myself being someone's wife. So I was so independent. I was making good money. You know, my mom raised me a little too independent. Cause I was like, don't hold my door. I got it.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm like, get it. I remember my friend Jason trying to hold a door for me in college. And I'm like, what are doing Exactly? Just crazy. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, I don't need you.

[Ego Wodem]

I don't need no one.

[Michelle Buteau]

Just go to bed alone every day.

[Ego Wodem]

But I'm strong.

[Michelle Buteau]

Prefix for one, please. But you know, I. I thought I would have like a partner to do stuff with. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, however that looked. Whether I was going to be adopting or whatever it was. But I was like, I don't know that I'm anyone's wife. I don't know that I'm. Because I knew I wanted to. To like, do comedy and like. Yeah, you know.

[Ego Wodem]

How did he hook you then, if you had that mentality.

[Michelle Buteau]

He saw me.

[Ego Wodem]

He's right through the.

[Michelle Buteau]

He saw me.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. He like, saw you.

[Michelle Buteau]

He saw me, saw me. And it was. Well, he saw me before I saw myself. It was up.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I love that.

[Michelle Buteau]

You saw me before. I saw myself. Oh, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

You get to be so soft with him, don't you?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my. My God.

[Ego Wodem]

You are a girl.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

That's. That's the. That's the thing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Even the strong want to just be a girl.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. I made a hard decision to have a soft life with someone. And it's nice and it's good, and it's good.

[Ego Wodem]

It looks good on you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you. I love it. I need, like, I need it, you know? Cuz for a while I was like, what do I. I don't need. No, it's nice.

[Ego Wodem]

And now you can say, I need it. Yeah. Okay, Michelle, it's time for a segment called Passenger Print Princess take the wheel.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Because you've been a Passenger princess this whole time.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God.

[Ego Wodem]

You haven't, though.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Because we've been.

[Michelle Buteau]

Did I stop at the stop sign?

[Ego Wodem]

You stopped.

[Michelle Buteau]

And I follow the rules.

[Ego Wodem]

You followed all the rules.

[Michelle Buteau]

But did Jesus ever take the wheel?

[Ego Wodem]

In my life, he has.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

And I can test.

[Michelle Buteau]

Did I have one pair of footprints? Sorry,

[Ego Wodem]

you're not allowed to say sorry anymore.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, no.

[Ego Wodem]

I want to challenge you. No, I want to challenge.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, shit.

[Ego Wodem]

For the rest of today.

[Michelle Buteau]

Not that red leather.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes, exactly. I want to challenge you, Michelle.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

To not say sorry the rest of today.

[Michelle Buteau]

What if it's a song by Justin Timberlake?

[Ego Wodem]

Which one?

[Michelle Buteau]

Is it too late now to say sorry?

[Ego Wodem]

No, don't listen to that today.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay,

[Ego Wodem]

Listen for a second today when you're in this challenge, okay? No.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like a little kid.

[Ego Wodem]

No Saying sorry. You don't have anything to be sorry for.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't.

[Ego Wodem]

Now, to be clear, if you do something to harm someone later today, apologize. But you're like, now you don't want to say sorry.

[Michelle Buteau]

What about excuse me?

[Ego Wodem]

Excuse me is fine. Okay. Excuse me is fine. I just want to challenge you. You don't have anything to be sorry for.

[Michelle Buteau]

You.

[Ego Wodem]

You've been killing it.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's right.

[Ego Wodem]

In life.

[Michelle Buteau]

And I like to say you can't kill what's already dead.

[Ego Wodem]

And it is dead. I'm gonna try to do the math on that.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay?

[Ego Wodem]

Excuse me, but it's gonna take time. Don't say excuse me.

[Michelle Buteau]

Don't say excuse me.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

You can say, you owe me. No apologies.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay? No apologies.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. And the only way you're gonna stop yourself from saying sorry is to sip your water. Truly, if I'm drinking. If I'm drinking. Okay, this is. I've done this out of order. Unfortunately, I'm not doing Passenger Princess, take the wheel. Okay yet. Oh, we're trying something new today. Okay. Okay. Yes, you have been a passenger, princess, but you've been good. You did stop at all the stop signs. You've been.

[Michelle Buteau]

I want to follow rules.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, we're gonna do. What do I want to do with Michelle today? Oh, I know we're gonna do. Okay. Our very first edition of dad, Daddy, Father. Oh, that is our version of Marry Kill.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow. Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

Dad, Daddy, Father. I'm gonna give you three. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yep, I got the three.

[Ego Wodem]

A freak in the sheets, but his toenails cut your leg. He says he has risen when you send him a sexy pic. He only uses incognito mode. So dad, Daddy, father. Oh, freak in the sheets, but his toenails cut your leg. Says he is risen when you send him a sex only uses incognito mode.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, it sounds like a father. It sounds like a divorce. Which one?

[Ego Wodem]

But no, each of those has to be.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, I thought that was the whole thing.

[Ego Wodem]

No, these are different men.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God.

[Ego Wodem]

Who's dad? Who's daddy? Who's father?

[Michelle Buteau]

The incognito mode.

[Ego Wodem]

Incognito. You've made him black.

[Michelle Buteau]

We didn't. Oh, my bad. Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Incognito mode. Okay. Who's that? Dad, Daddy or Father?

[Michelle Buteau]

Daddy, Daddy.

[Ego Wodem]

Incognito mode. Yeah. Okay, so he can't. Okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, he's like, I'm looking at all the finstas.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Ad Read Announcer]

All right.

[Ego Wodem]

So that's Daddy.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

He's following up with a lot of heart eye emojis.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. We don't trust him.

[Michelle Buteau]

Right.

[Ego Wodem]

All right, last two.

[Michelle Buteau]

He's the toenail cutting in the thing

[Ego Wodem]

in the freakin the sheets, but the toenails cut you.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's a divorced dad.

[Ego Wodem]

So that's what? So that's dad.

[Michelle Buteau]

Dad's dad.

[Ego Wodem]

Dad.

[Michelle Buteau]

But a divorced dad.

[Ego Wodem]

Divorced dad. You added a little.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, he's a divorced dad. He's still got to figure out his toenails, but can't wait to have sex with something new.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

And okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Says he is risen when he sends you when you send him a sexy pic.

[Michelle Buteau]

I mean, a father, but not a priest. You see what I'm saying?

[Ego Wodem]

I do see what?

[Michelle Buteau]

A father, but not a priest.

[Ego Wodem]

I see what you're saying.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you so much.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you so much.

[Michelle Buteau]

And I am not sorry.

[Ego Wodem]

Good, good. So we're trying to get to.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay, I'm healed.

[Ego Wodem]

All right? But now it is time. Passion Difference says take the wheel. What's a question you want to ask Our next guest.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh. Who was your favorite teacher?

[Ego Wodem]

Who was your favorite teacher and why? And why?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Beautiful, Beautiful. Way to round out the episode.

[Michelle Buteau]

Love a good round.

[Ego Wodem]

We love a round. You're a comedian.

[Michelle Buteau]

For real.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you. You deeply believe it. You did say thank you. You did say thank you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Good.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, I am. For real.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

All right, Michelle, thank you for being here.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you for having me. This was so fun. Thank you. So red.

[Ego Wodem]

It is red in here when I tell you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, it's red.

[Ego Wodem]

It's really something else.

[Michelle Buteau]

I thought we're gonna watch the Devil Wears Prada because the room, it's very red.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you so much.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you so much. I heart you.

[Ego Wodem]

I heart you. You Media podcast and Michelle Boutel. That was my discussion with Michelle Buto. How lovely and delightful is Michelle. God damn. Love her. That was so fun. We tried some new segments today. I don't know. We're trying new things around here. This is a family podcast. We were talking about Pussy, the family podcast. And I did, you know, I did ask Michelle as well. Can you smell me? Do I have deodorant on? I think I have it on. Sometimes I'll do a scrape test to be like, did I put this shit on today? Anyway, I'm about to go home and put some deodorant on just to double check. That's actually like top of mind for me. I'm really stressful. I'm really stressed. Also, if there was like white shit in the corners of my mouth this whole episode and no one in here said anything to me, everyone's fine, everyone's fired, everyone's out of work. I'm kidding. I love these people. But if there was and you're watching, I'm sorry. I was thirsty and I kept drinking coffee instead of cracking open this bottle of water right here in front of me. I seem to have a solution for everything and everyone else but my damn self. Isn't it a shame? Anyway, I love you all. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching and I'll see you on the next one. Thanks, dad. Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart Podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca.

[Michelle Buteau]

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[Michelle Buteau]

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[Michelle Buteau]

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[Hoda Kotb]

Joy is essential, and it's also elusive. But now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101 it's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotb. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting and moving on air chats. Open your free iHeartradio app, search Joy101 and listen now. Joy101 with Hoda Kotfi is presented by CBS.

[Ego Wodem]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Michelle Buteau]

Guaranteed Human.