Asif Ali

Summary

Podcast Summary: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim (Asif Ali Episode)

Podcast: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim
Host: Ego Nwodim
Guest: Asif Ali
Release Date: June 2, 2026
Produced by: Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

Ego Nwodim welcomes comedian and actor Asif Ali (noted for Hulu's Deli Boys) for a funny, heartfelt conversation about family, growing up, comedy hustle, and cultural roots. The episode explores Asif's childhood in Arizona, his unique family business, lessons from his parents, career launches, and an extended riff on food, vulnerability, and friendship. As always, the tone is playful, real, and occasionally a little inappropriate by the hosts’ own admission.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Thank Yous, Work & Friendship

(03:07 – 04:45)

• Ego starts the episode with their signature question: “Who do you want to say thanks to?”
  • Asif thanks his Deli Boys co-stars, Porna Jagannathan and Sagar Shaikh, for making work feel like a "fun vacation":
    • “Anytime we go talk about the show or on the road, it just feels like a fun vacation, you know?” (03:16)
• The on-set friendship and running bits, including Bollywood movie gags and speaking Hindi/Urdu to each other on red carpets for in-group communication and laughs.

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2. Comedy Careers, Chains, and Getting Recognized

(04:45 – 08:00)

• They riff on being recognized (or not) and the relative stress of Uber timing versus actual fame.
• Bits about chains and fashion choices, with cultural asides.
• Notable Quote:
  • On why he tucks his chain:
    • “I like the hint of a chain, like a little bit right here... when it's out, that's a different interview.” (06:10)

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3. Growing Up: Family, Parental Roles, and Being "The Only"

(07:53 – 13:00)

• Asif: Born in Phoenix; the only [Muslim/brown] family in their area;
• Four boys; Asif often the “pocketbook” son, closest to his mom.
• Both hosts are the youngest of four; Ego’s family split evenly between brothers and sisters.
• Emotional Labor: Asif was “kind of like my mom’s therapist a little bit” (09:14), which comes up in his own therapy now.
• Relationship with Dad:
  • “What a fun guy. Interesting... outside of the norm of what a normal husband would be.” (10:11)
  • Dad took his savings, drove to Southern California, and bought jungle birds to start a unique family business: selling exotic birds.

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4. The Jungle Bird Hustle & Bird Mart

(10:43 – 16:02)

• Dad’s pivot into bird trading: a family affair for 10+ years.
• Asif's role: “My job was to tame the birds. Animals are, like, cool with me... but they hated my dad.” (11:26)
• Bird Mart stories: “It was basically the Comic Con of birds… you bring your best bomb-ass birds… inevitably, a bird would get out. And then you see a bunch of grown-ass men with nets…” (12:08/12:36)
• Learning about wealth and the arts: stories about a wealthy country songwriter buying birds.

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5. Childhood Outsider Status, Bullying, and Developing Comic Voice

(16:10 – 17:18)

• Though he tried to flex with birds at Show & Tell, being “the only brown kid” wasn’t always easy in 90s Phoenix.
• He links his comedy sensibility to his dad and “silly” brothers.
• “Where do you think you got your comedic sensibilities? Probably from my dad and my brothers. Yeah. Silly people.” (17:22)

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6. DIY Comedy Career: The Immigrant Hustle

(17:31 – 22:09)

• Asif’s brother became his manager, starting by cold-calling college activities boards, booking 30+ college shows himself using clever “agent” pitches:
  • “He’d be like, listen, I have Dave Chappelle, Jerry Seinfeld... you don’t want them, right? Here’s this young guy.” (19:40)
• “That’s immigrant hustle shit.” (22:09)
• Both advocate for bringing back cold phone calls: “I even enjoy a cold call. You never know.” (22:19)
• Scam stories: Both recount losing money to scammers, with much humor.

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7. Money, Splurging, and What Matters

(28:22 – 31:14)

• Asif is financially cautious but enjoys splurging on “food and travel with people I care about.”
• Ego: “We should go eat after this.”
  Asif: “I would love to.”
  (Food recs: Gymkhana and Deschum in London)
• Riff: Eating at South Asian restaurants, with a mini-rant on people not using their hands to eat:
  • “There should be a fee for not eating with your hands. That’s colonizer shit.” (40:22–40:49)

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8. Family Legacies & Vulnerability

(35:20 – 46:57)

• Asif’s dad didn’t return to another traditional job, but mom provided steady healthcare.
• Both parents came from very large families; Asif wants only two kids (“Different time!”).
• Discussion on vulnerability, willingness to marry, and emotion:
  • “People don’t want to be vulnerable anymore.” (46:52)
  • Admits he doesn’t cry enough; shares a story about Bryce Dallas Howard's trick for crying on command (47:13)

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9. Comic Exercises: The Staring Game

(49:33 – 53:15)

• Ego and Asif attempt to make each other cry on mic by extended eye contact—a bold podcast first.
• It actually works.
  • “You’re getting teary eyed, motherfucker.” (53:05, Ego)
  • “You are too.” (53:08, Asif)
• Playful reflections on emotion, podcasting, and the intimacy of silence on audio.

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10. Modern Distraction, News, and Avoiding Burnout

(54:18 – 57:53)

• Both discuss their relationship with phones, social media, and using blocking tools for focus.
• Asif is “a little too tapped into the news” but prefers being informed.

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11. Cancel Culture, Real Problems, and Personal Values

(57:53 – 60:12)

• Both reflect on anxieties over “getting canceled.”
  Asif notes the difference between true malice and honest mistakes.
  • “There’s actual monsters selling out theatres still.” (58:51)
• On social values: They lament the lack of reward for truly helpful jobs (teaching, social work) vs. high-paying “evil” jobs:
  • “If you do a job that’s helpful to society, you get nothing in return...” (60:12)

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12. Alternate Lives, Sweat, and Work Identities

(61:12 – 64:06)

• Ego jokes she’d work as a headhunter helping people find jobs—she loves to “crack the case.”
• Comic riff on “sweating” as a measure of hard work, no matter the job.

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13. Physical Comedy, Spanx, and Questionable Show Photos

(65:06 – 66:53)

• Asif mentions seeing Ego’s “full squat” stage photos at Netflix festival, leading to a comic bit about wardrobe malfunctions, Spanx, and notoriety.

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14. Games: “Thanks, No Thanks”

(66:55 – 70:11)

• Ego runs a rapid-fire gift acceptance game.
  Highlights:
  • Would accept a turtle, deodorant, and a lawnmower (to resell).
  • Would NOT skydive at a place with less than five stars:
    • “Anything less than five stars... absolutely not.” (69:39)

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15. Listener Segment – “Thank U, Next”

(70:15 – 72:07)

• Question from Michelle Buteau: “Who was your favorite teacher and why?”
• Asif’s answer: Mr. Field, high school theater teacher who supported Asif’s comedy interest by letting him perform instead of turning in homework.
• “What a great way to learn the mechanics in a fun place and to have someone be like, hey, I see that you like doing this thing—do it.” (71:48)

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• “It’s a vibe.” – Asif Ali (03:35), on working with his Deli Boys co-stars
• “Let the birds live.” – Ego Wodem (12:58), reacting to Bird Mart escapes
• “That’s immigrant hustle shit.” – Asif Ali (22:09), on his brother’s DIY management style
• “There should be a fee [for not eating with your hands]. That’s colonizer shit.” – Asif Ali (40:22)
• “People don’t want to be vulnerable anymore.” – Ego Wodem (46:52)
• “If you do a job that’s helpful to society, you get nothing in return…” – Asif Ali (60:12)
• “You’re getting teary eyed, motherfucker.” – Ego Wodem (53:05), mid-staring contest

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Timestamps for Significant Segments

• Thanks and Co-Star Vibes: 03:07–04:45
• Family Bird Business: 10:43–13:00
• On Comedy Origins & Sibling Management: 17:31–22:09
• Scams & Hustle: 22:36–28:00
• Splurging & Friendship: 28:22–31:14
• Dining as Culture & Identity: 39:50–41:42
• Vulnerability, Crying on Command: 46:52–48:45
• Staring Contest/Emotional Experiment: 49:33–53:15
• Modern Attention & News: 54:18–57:53
• Cancel Culture & Real Problems: 57:53–60:12
• Physical Comedy & Netflix Show Photos: 65:06–66:53
• Thanks, No Thanks Game: 66:55–70:11
• Thank U, Next—Listener Question: 70:15–72:07

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Episode Vibe and Takeaway

A candid, hilarious, sometimes poignant episode about non-traditional family businesses, sibling partnerships, the grind and gamble behind a comedy career, and pride in one’s roots. The chemistry and improvisational spirit of Ego and Asif results in plenty of quotable bits and insightful moments—plus a little subversive social commentary on class, culture, and what matters in work and life.

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For anyone seeking laughs, relatable family stories, and a dose of immigrant hustle inspiration—with bonus food talk and comic vulnerability—this episode is not to be missed.

Transcript

[Ego Wodem]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Asif Ali]

Guaranteed Human. Hey, guys, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called hey Jonas. We invented a podcast. Well, we didn't invent it. We. We just contributed to the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know, tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Isaiah Thomas]

What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas, and I'm C.J.

[C.J. Toledano]

toledano. It's our favorite time of the year on our podcast, Point Game, the Playoffs.

[Isaiah Thomas]

We're digging into the biggest surprises of the season, and I'm looking back on some of my greatest playoff moments. If we didn't talk ever again, I was firing.

[C.J. Toledano]

You just understood.

[Isaiah Thomas]

That's how personal it gets.

[Asif Ali]

Wow.

[Isaiah Thomas]

Then after that Game seven, Marquis coming to you, he's like, you know, I love you, dawg. You know it's all love. This was just playoffs. This was just basketball.

[C.J. Toledano]

So listen to Point game on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ego Wodem]

Hello, guys. I'm so excited to have this next conversation. I feel like it's gonna be a good one. We actually have some mutual friends, so that's always a good time. Stay tuned. Just mere moments from now, Stay tuned. I'm gonna be talking to Asif. So exciting. Don't spit out your coffee. Do not do a spit take first.

[Asif Ali]

I'm not doing a spit take. Is this off?

[Ego Wodem]

Don't. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter. Okay, relax.

[Asif Ali]

I'm chill.

[Ego Wodem]

Sit back, relax. Enjoy the show. I'm so chill. I'm so chill. I'm going to go to sleep. Please don't go to sleep. I have to talk to you.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Guys, this is huge.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Is it? I'm not talking to you yet. I'm talking to the people.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

The people. My next guest is an actor and comedian who you can see in season two of the hit comedy series Deli Boys on Hulu May 28th. It's Asif Ali.

[Asif Ali]

Come on, yo.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, people. Let's get some energy in crazy.

[Asif Ali]

And there's people right outside the Globe.

[Ego Wodem]

They're out there working.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah. The office people are pretending to be working, but they're really just like, I can't believe he's here.

[Ego Wodem]

He's here. They're flipping out. There were crowds outside when I came in today.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah? Yeah. People were banging on the glass. Let me in.

[Ego Wodem]

How do you handle that?

[Asif Ali]

It's tough. Yeah. You know, I have to run. Run to an Uber. You ever run to an Uber?

[Ego Wodem]

I have, but not because I'm being recognized. It's because I called it too early.

[Asif Ali]

And they're like, he's leaving in three seconds.

[Ego Wodem]

And you're getting wait time charges, which respect. But also really does stress me out.

[Asif Ali]

It does stress you out.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm like, I want my ride to cost this much, plus tip.

[Asif Ali]

Do you ever do that thing where he goes, it's a little bit cheaper if you wait 15 minutes and then you hit. And they go, he's. He's right in front.

[Ego Wodem]

I hate that.

[Asif Ali]

I do hate that.

[Ego Wodem]

And it pisses me off. And I can never get an Uber.

[Asif Ali]

I'm like, I'm brushing my teeth, dude.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm still putting on my makeup. The fuck? Can you circle the block 22 times? Asif, can I ask you what you want to say thanks to?

[Asif Ali]

I want to say thanks to my co stars, Porna Jagannathan and Sagar Shaikh for making, you know, working on the show so fun and making, you know, just all. Anytime we go talk about the show or on the road, it just feels like a fun vacation, you know?

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

It's a vibe.

[Ego Wodem]

Shout out to them.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Is it like working with, like, best friends?

[Asif Ali]

It's the best.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, my goodness.

[Asif Ali]

Because I've worked on things where I'm like, it's a job. It's very clearly, this is a job. And then we say, okay, goodbye, I'll see you later. And then you show up. Whatever. We're not hanging out. Whatever. And. And this is, like, so fun. So to be on a show that you actually like and then you actually enjoy being with the people. Like, we're all in the same hotel. We're having fun. Yeah, it's the best.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, that makes me really happy for you. Do you guys have any bits you can tell me about?

[Asif Ali]

We have so many bits. We have so many bits.

[Ego Wodem]

I love it.

[Asif Ali]

On set, we do a bit. There's this Bollywood movie, Cubby cushy, Cubby Gum. And there's a song that goes, ah, Cubby hushee, Cubby gum.

[Ego Wodem]

We can't pay for that. So don't do too. Don't do too.

[Asif Ali]

The show's over. By the way, guys, this is the last episode of the show you had to pay $30 million in royalties.

[Ego Wodem]

This is the last. We wrapped it up.

[Asif Ali]

And so whenever we're doing something, so porna's like. Porna's on. Never have I ever. And so, like, when people see porna, they're like, oh, my God, you're like a part of my life. It's different when you're a comedian. They go, you're funny. You're funny, you're funny. But when they see someone who does drama, they go, oh, my God, you mean something to me. And so whenever they do that to her, she's, like, very sweet. But then sometimes there will be people that are like, kind of a lot. And so me and Sagar will look at each, like. And then we'll make eye contact with her, and then we'll start singing the song. And then she'll be like, okay, okay, we gotta get out of here. So we, like, you know, we have, like, little dumb bits like that. Yeah, we do a lot of speaking in Hindi and Urdu to each other, doing interviews.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Like, we're doing, like, red carpet, and we'll just randomly be talking about the interview in another.

[Ego Wodem]

So you are talking about them.

[Asif Ali]

It's the best. It's the best. It's oftentimes compliments.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Oh, well, that's nice. Google Translate's gonna get you. I saw a person on Thread say that they're using Google Translate everywhere they go.

[Asif Ali]

You can't have anything now.

[Ego Wodem]

The AirPods. Can't have your own language.

[Asif Ali]

Can't have anything. Can I have my own language? Can I have a sidebar?

[Ego Wodem]

Can I have a sidebar with my friends? They're like, no, nah, we gotta.

[Asif Ali]

Zuckerberg wants to get his little hands and his faux hawk or whatever, his little mullet into everything. He's got chains outside of the shirt, and that really concerns me.

[Ego Wodem]

Who does?

[Asif Ali]

That was the turn for Zuckerberg. Once he got the chain outside the shirt, I'm like, this guy is off the rails.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you wear chains ever?

[Asif Ali]

I do, but I never wear them outside the shirt.

[Ego Wodem]

Outside the shirt.

[Asif Ali]

Unless it's like, a thing where a stylist goes, hey, this needs to be outside the shirt.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, but why are you tucking?

[Asif Ali]

I'm tucking because I like the hint of it.

[Ego Wodem]

The hint of a chain.

[Asif Ali]

I like the hint of a thing.

[Ego Wodem]

Like the little. Like, little bit right here.

[Asif Ali]

Like a hint of like. Okay, it's Like a little bit of a thing.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

But when it's out, this is a different interview.

[Ego Wodem]

Now, when it's. This is a different interview. Put it back.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah, put it back. Put it back. We can't be doing this. It's too early. I know.

[Ego Wodem]

To have that chain out like that. Excuse me.

[Asif Ali]

When I show up to a coffee shop and chain's out in the morning. I was out last night.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, yeah. You need to tuck that thing. Okay. Tuck that motherfucking chain. You know? But also, I know people tuck their chain because they want to get robbed.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, this is not one of those,

[Ego Wodem]

tuck the chain because you're about to get in a fight.

[Asif Ali]

And. Yeah. Yeah. That's the truth.

[Ego Wodem]

The ladies take the earrings off. The men tuck the chain.

[Asif Ali]

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to take your earrings off?

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. Because the material is fake and it's making my ears bleed.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, okay. It's never for a fight, but never for. It's because you're allergic.

[Ego Wodem]

Never for a fight. It's because I'm having an allergic reaction and my ears are itching and bleeding. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Desperately, like, 91 1. We need to take these off. That has happened but for a fight.

[Asif Ali]

No.

[Ego Wodem]

Have you ever had to tuck your chain because you're about to fight?

[Asif Ali]

No. People don't really want to fight me. No. And I think, like, when I was young, I was. Like, when I was a kid, I had friends who. People were like, man, I want to kick that guy. I'm going to fight you, dude. Like, they felt like, oh, I'm being threatened right now just by your existence. Yeah, I never had that. And as a kid, sometimes I would think, like, man, that'd be kind of

[Ego Wodem]

cool if somebody wanted to fight me

[Asif Ali]

or was threatened by me. And then as you get older, you go, actually, that's a huge liability it is to be walking around and people like, I had a friend, Chris, when I was in high school who was, like, just like a tall, big guy. And for some reason, every time he went somewhere, some other dude would be like, I want to fight this guy.

[Ego Wodem]

Dang.

[Asif Ali]

Just because he was a big dude.

[Ego Wodem]

But was he like a teddy bear? Yeah, of course.

[Asif Ali]

Sweetest guy.

[Ego Wodem]

That's. That's always the case. Where did you grow up?

[Asif Ali]

I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona.

[Ego Wodem]

Phoenix?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. My dad got a job there. All my relatives live in the Midwest, like Chicago, Wisconsin, and my dad got a job in Phoenix. So we grew up just. We were the only. That's it.

[Ego Wodem]

You Were the only.

[Asif Ali]

We were the only. You fill in the blank. Yeah, you fill in the blank.

[Ego Wodem]

Say the rest. The only. We were the only. Okay, wait, did you have siblings as well?

[Asif Ali]

I have three older brothers. Yeah. A mother's. I feel so bad for my mom.

[Ego Wodem]

All boys.

[Asif Ali]

Four boys and a dad, so it's five dudes.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh. Mom is a g. So I kind

[Asif Ali]

of had to be that kid who was like, I'll go. I'll go with you.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You were like her pocketbook.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, I'll go with you.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, are you her favorite?

[Asif Ali]

Probably.

[Ego Wodem]

Honestly?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. Come on. We can't do that. We can't do that.

[Ego Wodem]

I wanna. I mean, you could, but come on. It's between me and you.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. Yeah. Between me and you.

[Ego Wodem]

You're her favorite for sure, right? Are you? Of course. I'm the youngest as well.

[Asif Ali]

How many siblings do you have?

[Ego Wodem]

I have three.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, so we're both a four?

[Ego Wodem]

Yes, exactly.

[Asif Ali]

What's the spread, guys and girls?

[Ego Wodem]

The spread is two boys, two girls.

[Asif Ali]

Oh.

[Ego Wodem]

And so it was boy, girl, boy, girl.

[Asif Ali]

Parents dream.

[Ego Wodem]

I mean, can you imagine?

[Asif Ali]

Oh, my God, it's the best.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you super sensitive?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. How does that compare to your siblings? Where do they fall?

[Asif Ali]

I think I'm sensitive to people's feelings. Meaning? Like, when I was growing up, it was a lot of like. I think I realized later on that I was probably like, my mom's therapist a little bit. Do you know what I mean? Like, I was a sound board.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you go to therapy now?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And have you guys ever addressed in therapy the fact that you were maybe your mom's therapist? Is that a bad thing? Good thing?

[Asif Ali]

Um, I think it was a neutral thing. I think it wasn't in the sense of like, hey, I'm putting this all on you.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure.

[Asif Ali]

It was more of like, hey, I'm just gonna tell you.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Because you're here.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

I'm just gonna tell you what's popping off in my life kind of thing. But it wasn't like, this is your responsibility.

[Ego Wodem]

You need to help me. You gotta help me, kid. Learn how to.

[Asif Ali]

You gotta. I know you don't have a license, but you gotta drive me to work.

[Ego Wodem]

I have three other kids. You see how they act? You see how your father acts? Right.

[Asif Ali]

They're right outside the door, and you're the only person I have.

[Ego Wodem]

What was your relationship like with your dad growing up?

[Asif Ali]

Great. What a fun guy. What a fun. Interesting. In hindsight, I mean, he's still alive. I shouldn't say in hindsight, but just a fun dude. But to be in a marriage, I mean, he was very much outside of the norm of what a normal husband would be. He had a regular job, got laid off, then took all of his savings and went to Southern California and went to where they quarantined animals being brought into America. So you can't bring in animals. Sure.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Asif Ali]

So they got quarantined. Yeah, they auction. And they were auctioning them off.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And my dad just bought a bunch of birds, like jungle birds. And so then he bought and sold jungle. That was like our family business for, like, so 20 years.

[Ego Wodem]

You guys were living in Southern California?

[Asif Ali]

No, we were living in Arizona. He went there. He took a family minivan. Minivan.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Drove there by himself.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Came back with a bunch of jungle birds. And my mom was like, why did you not tell me about this?

[Ego Wodem]

He didn't. He took the family van.

[Asif Ali]

He's like, trust me.

[Ego Wodem]

Was for the kids.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. He was like, trust me, this is a good business to sell to jungle birds. Macaws, cockatoos.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, dad.

[Asif Ali]

So then we did that as like a full business for like, 10, 15 years. And we all had little jobs.

[Ego Wodem]

What was your job?

[Asif Ali]

My job was to tame the birds. Cause I have, like a. Like a. Animals are, like, cool with me. They know I'm not the guy. They hated my dad. They're like, you. You're the reason I'm in this cage.

[Ego Wodem]

You put me in the fucking movie.

[Asif Ali]

You're the reason I'm in this cage. I hate you. But for me, they were like, I would just. Every day, I would. From school, and then I would do this, and then they would, like, stand on my fingers.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, oh, okay. Stand. Okay.

[Asif Ali]

And that was my job to, like. So they would be, you know, used to human touch.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

That was my deal. So after school, I'd come home, we bought a zoo.

[Ego Wodem]

Basically. I'm like, I have. You should see my brain doing the math. I'm like, I have so many. I don't know where to begin.

[Asif Ali]

We'd go to something called. We'd go to something called Bird Mart, which was basically the Comic Con of birds.

[Ego Wodem]

Where did it happen?

[Asif Ali]

In Phoenix. In downtown. In the big convention center.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And we'd go there and everyone bring their. You bring your best fucking birds. You bring your bomb ass. All your batty ass birds. You bring them to the convention center. And other people who. Odd people.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Would come and they would, you know, die hard bird people. They would come there and people would buy birds and it's all over the spectrum. My favorite part about going to bird mart is inevitably a bird would get out.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure.

[Asif Ali]

And then you see a bunch of like grown ass men with like nets on like 50 foot poles, just like trying to.

[Ego Wodem]

But indoors. It would get out.

[Asif Ali]

It was indoors. And the bird just like on a beam being like, I'm free.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm free.

[Asif Ali]

You're never going to get a hold of me, dude. And the guy's like, that's $400. That's $400 on that light right there.

[Ego Wodem]

Let the birds live.

[Asif Ali]

Let the birds live.

[Ego Wodem]

Did a bird ever get free and then like, get for real free? Like, I'm in the sky now? Yes.

[Asif Ali]

But it's usually not a great thing because if they've grown up domesticated, they don't have the skill set to survive unless they leave in a group. Like in California there are groups of like birds that have like, just escaped or left or whatever. But if they can find like a pod to be with, then they'll be fine. But if it's just one guy out there by himself, it's pretty tough. Because they're like, you're getting served meals every day. How are you? What are you gonna do? The streets are tough, okay? The streets are tough, man.

[Ego Wodem]

The skies, the sk. I mean.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, so he did that for a while and then he got out of that. He took the money he made from that. And by the way, we were not declaring any of this money.

[Ego Wodem]

It was illegal money.

[Asif Ali]

This is a table. It was underneath that.

[Ego Wodem]

It was under this.

[Asif Ali]

It was under this. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Wait.

[Asif Ali]

So then my mom had a regular job. My mom's a respiratory therapist and she was working at a hospital, working in the NICU with little babies, little preemie babies. So she had the, the job that got us healthcare and all that. And then my dad's like, hey, what if I just funneled a little bit on the dick?

[Ego Wodem]

Would it be crazy? Did he have a side job that was more legit?

[Asif Ali]

No, it was just that, okay. It was just that he went all. Because the birds. At that time, this was like when. This is like late 90s. This was like the last time Americans had money, is what he was telling. Like he tells me now is like, that was the last time Americans had like extra money. And so that's when people were getting. This is like when Mike Tyson had a tiger.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

That one lady went on Oprah and said, I had a monkey and it turned on me.

[Ego Wodem]

Cause you weren't supposed to have the monkey didn't turn on you. Just realized, I don't like this bitch. Yeah. I'm like, I want to go home.

[Asif Ali]

I want to live in a one bedroom apartment.

[Ego Wodem]

I don't like your place. And maybe if she had a nicer place, it wouldn't have turned. I don't know.

[Asif Ali]

So this was like the last time where people were like, I'm over dogs and cats. They're like, give me something. Give me a sugar glider.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow.

[Asif Ali]

So it was that time he got in at the right time where people were like, yeah, I want a jungle bird.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, wow.

[Asif Ali]

And it was the first time I had ever met people that work in the arts who were ballin. I met this lady, she bought like a bird for like three grand. And my dad was like, what do you do? And she was like, oh, I write country songs.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow.

[Asif Ali]

So she'd write songs for all these big country artists and she was balling. We went to her house. She had a house. And like, the, the front of her house was like this gigantic glass. The top was open. It was like this glass, like almost like aviary thing in the front of her house. So she had all these like beautiful birds living in this. It was the most insane thing I had ever seen.

[Ego Wodem]

Stunning.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I was like, maybe shouldn't be the case, but. Stunning, yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Absolutely stunning.

[Ego Wodem]

Were you telling people at school what your dad did, given that it was under this table?

[Asif Ali]

No, no, no.

[Ego Wodem]

I, I, you were allowed to say.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

So it wasn't like this was like legal. It was just like, I mean, we

[Asif Ali]

also lived in a neighborhood where everybody was kind of doing stuff under. Everybody had some other type of job.

[Ego Wodem]

What's the craziest thing anyone's parents craziest?

[Asif Ali]

I mean, we definitely were the craziest. But there are people like, like, you know, there was like somebody's dad was like, selling drugs or whatever.

[Ego Wodem]

Like casual, casually. Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

You know what I mean? Like, whatever. But I remember bringing to like, show and Tell day at school. I was always flexing with the birds, like, oh, you brought, oh, you have a, you have a lizard. Check this shit out. Speak three languages.

[Ego Wodem]

So were you the cool kid at school?

[Asif Ali]

No. That doesn't help.

[Ego Wodem]

I didn't think so. But I love the confidence. Oh, yeah, here's my bird.

[Asif Ali]

You ever see Steve Irwin's kids walking around?

[Ego Wodem]

I haven't, not personally.

[Asif Ali]

You gotta get out. They're like, proud.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

They're like, yeah, we're animal people.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

That's how I felt.

[Ego Wodem]

That's how you and so did you get picked on at all?

[Asif Ali]

Like, brown stuff.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, because you felt like you were the only.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah. That's not fun.

[Ego Wodem]

That's not fun. It turned out. Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

It wasn't like, hey, four eyes. They went straight to that stuff.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure, sure. I mean, it was Phoenix, Arizona, in the 90s.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, 90s, early 2000s. CIA. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Well, I'm sorry that happened.

[Asif Ali]

Fine. I'm here.

[Ego Wodem]

Like, I'm here.

[Asif Ali]

It all led up to this. And that makes it worth it.

[Ego Wodem]

I hate that for you, but, I mean, I feel like a lot of people can relate to that experience.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Where do you think you got your comedic sensibilities at?

[Asif Ali]

Probably from my dad and my. And my brothers. Yeah. Yeah. Silly people.

[Ego Wodem]

Are your brothers in the industry in any way, shape or form?

[Asif Ali]

One of my brothers is my manager.

[Ego Wodem]

Really?

[Asif Ali]

He's my manager my whole life.

[Ego Wodem]

How does that work for you?

[Asif Ali]

It's the best. He used to work in finance and when I lived in Chicago, when I went to college in Chicago, he's working in finance, and I was doing little gigs and stuff like that. And you're gonna love this. So this is crazy. So he. When he was working in finance, I remember one time he asked me, I was like, doing Zany's and stuff like that in Chicago. And he was like, hey, man. So, like, you should do gigs at colleges. I remember I was in college, people would come and perform and like, the money was like, really good because, like, you're making, what, 20 bucks here in the city? And I was like, yeah, I really want to do colleges. You know, I have to get like a good tape and then I have to submit it to a college agent and whatever, whatever. And he goes, yeah, okay. How are you gonna meet these college agents? And I go, I don't know. I have this good tape. I gotta, like, you know, be out in the streets. I gotta meet people, whatever. And he's like, you know, when I was in college, people would just call sometimes. It was just sometimes. Sometimes we would just get calls. Cause he was like on an activities board kind of thing. And they would, like, pitch their people. And then we kind of, like looked at each other and we were like, oh, shit. And I went to the library at school and I googled all of the, like, activities people at every single college that was like within, like a drive or a train from Chicago. And I gave them the list. And then every day at work, doing his corporate job, at lunch he would call and just pretend to be working at a company. So he would call you and be like, hey, you're. You're ego. Yeah. You work at Central Indiana University. I'm just wondering if you booked out all the entertainment for the year. And you'd be like, no, not fully. And be like, are you interested in, like, maybe comedians? And they would always say, yes because it's such an easy setup. It's one microphone. Whatever, whatever. It's not like booking a whole band. And he'd be like, listen, this is the greatest thing. He'd be like, listen, I have a lot of big clients. I have Dave Chappelle, Jerry Seinfeld. You know what I mean? Like, and then he'd do this. He'd be like, you don't want them? And they'd be like, oh, I don't. Cause I feel like I really would. I kind of really do.

[Ego Wodem]

Central Indiana University.

[Asif Ali]

And then he'd be like. He'd be like, here's why you don't want them. Like, between us, which is such a good salesman.

[Ego Wodem]

They're not that funny. They're not that sorry.

[Asif Ali]

They pipe in the last man between us.

[Isaiah Thomas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Asif Ali]

No, no. He would be like, between us, these people are so famous at, like, if they get invited to a party, guess who they're gonna cancel on? You.

[Ego Wodem]

Why are they putting smut on their names?

[Asif Ali]

But it's genius. Cause then he'd be like, but you know who I do have? I have this young guy who's in college right now. He can connect with the kids, and he's already on tour. I wasn't on tour. There was no tour.

[Ego Wodem]

You were in the tour.

[Asif Ali]

There was never even a hint of a tour. But he's like, he's. I'm gonna send you his tape.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And you know what? Because he's on tour, I'm gonna give you reduced fee. Because he's already like, you don't have to get his flight or anything like that.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow.

[Asif Ali]

And I booked so many schools doing that.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And I went on a proper tour.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And I would just get on the train, Greyhound, whatever. And I would get there and my tape was good, and I booked. And then through that, a college agent was like, hey, who's this guy doing 30 college gigs that throughout, you know, not having, like a proper whatever. And then so I got a proper college agent, and then I toured. Whatever. And then through that, my brother was like, wait a minute. This whole business is crazy. You know, you don't even need a degree to be an agent or a manager.

[Ego Wodem]

Turns out we're taught you could drop

[Asif Ali]

out of the fifth grade. And if you got the right client, you could be a gazillionaire.

[Ego Wodem]

You don't even need a degree to own Facebook.

[Asif Ali]

You don't. Get your chain out of your shirt.

[Ego Wodem]

Get your chain out of your shirt and go make some fucking phone calls. I'm sorry.

[Asif Ali]

I designed these new creep glasses.

[Ego Wodem]

You're recording everything. No conversation is private.

[Asif Ali]

And I can translate everything. No sidebar.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. That was brilliant of your brother.

[Asif Ali]

And then he started. Then when I moved to la, we were so good at working together. My management that I had at the time was like, hey, man, do you just want to work with us? And then that's how he started working at a proper company. And then he was like, fuck this, I want to go independent. He created his own company and he's had some of the same clients for like 10 plus years. I'm not the only guy. And they're all doing great.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay?

[Asif Ali]

And then he is now working at a proper company. He got like, poached during COVID They're like, hey, man, you're doing really great just on your, like, as an independent thing. You and your friend here. Do you want to come work with us?

[Ego Wodem]

Damn, that is brilliant.

[Asif Ali]

It's like that immigrant hustle shit.

[Ego Wodem]

It is that hustle. But, you know, here's the thing is, people, you can. The thing about a phone call, which I'm petitioning to bring phone calls back.

[Asif Ali]

Gotta bring phone calls back.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm like, let's bring phone calls back.

[Asif Ali]

Yep.

[Ego Wodem]

I like a phone call. I even enjoy a cold call. You never know.

[Asif Ali]

Out of the blue.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, why not?

[Asif Ali]

Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

I'll pick up if I'm free, and if I won't, it's gonna go to voicemail. You'll leave one.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah, leave a message. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Or you'll send a text, but let's bring phone calls back.

[Asif Ali]

And you've been scammed a lot because of this.

[Ego Wodem]

I actually have been scammed, but because I placed an outgoing call.

[Asif Ali]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

It's the wrong number. But that's really traumatic for me and I don't want to talk about it. I gave a man in Kenya a lot of money. Oh, no. He got me good.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, no.

[Ego Wodem]

But that's okay. That's okay.

[Asif Ali]

Hey, it's still guess accounts for charity in a way.

[Ego Wodem]

Charity in a way.

[Asif Ali]

It's a tax write up.

[Ego Wodem]

I was yelling at him too. Whole time. He's like, bitch, you don't know that I am stealing your money. He's like, yeah, be mad all you are. Cause he Was calling the cute. I am. I've got your card number and your money is getting.

[Asif Ali]

I know your mother's maiden name. Say all the shit you want to say.

[Ego Wodem]

Tell me. Whatever, girl. As long as this money comes through.

[Asif Ali]

One of my favorite scams. Well, it's not my. I'm. I'm mad that it happened to me, but my. The biggest scam that sticks out to me is I moved to la. And right when I moved to la, I had this old Honda Accord that was like on its last leg. I drove it from Chicago to la, but I was like, you know, going to shows, doing open mics, whatever. And I remember I'd done the show and it was like one o' clock in the morning and I locked my keys in the car and I was

[Ego Wodem]

like, oh, shit, I'm fucked.

[Asif Ali]

What am I gonna do? And I didn't have AAA or anything. I couldn't even afford that. And so I went on the Internet. I just like went on Craigslist or whatever, you know what I mean? And I was like, hey, locksmith. And I knew, you know, when you feel in your heart where you're like, this is a scam, before this scam has even started, you feel it in your gut where you go, this is a scam.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

So a guy, I talked to a guy, he was like, yeah, I can come fix it. It's super gregarious on the phone, by the way.

[Ego Wodem]

A locksmith.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, locksmith.

[Ego Wodem]

Personality.

[Asif Ali]

They're not known to have personality. That should have been my first whatever flag. He was like, yeah, how are you? Don't say, how are you? Huge mistake. If you're hiring a locksmith and say, how are you? If they're checking in, emotionally, you're about to lose everything. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And don't sound like they're just burd. Then that's not a good. That's not a long time.

[Asif Ali]

If they're not breathing hard for three seconds before they say hello, you're getting scammed. Yeah. And so the guy shows up, two cars.

[Ego Wodem]

He has two cars.

[Asif Ali]

Two groups of people come out, both cars. It was eight people total. Eight dudes. I was like, oh, man, oh man,

[Ego Wodem]

I need to tuck my chain.

[Asif Ali]

Gotta put that right back in. This is seven people too many for this job.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And they were just like. I was like, what happened to all that, hey, how are you?

[Ego Wodem]

What happened? I thought we were friends. I'm so stressed. What happened?

[Asif Ali]

What happened? And on the phone, he said it was only going to be a 100 bucks. And I Was like, even then. That sounds a lot, but I get it.

[Ego Wodem]

Did he tell you cash only?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, so he knows you got cash only person?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. Yeah. So I. So he gets there. He opens up the door in almost less than a second. It literally was the fastest thing I've ever seen in my life. Then there's eight guys, and he goes. I go, oh, yeah. So it's like 100 bucks, right? And he goes, It's 400 bucks. And I go, man, I have two choices here. I have the human choice or the movie choice. Right. The movie choice is, hey, you can't do that to me.

[Ego Wodem]

Hey.

[Asif Ali]

How dare you? There's right and there's wrong.

[Ego Wodem]

Eight people. Hey. Eight people.

[Asif Ali]

Look inside yourself. Who raised you? Yeah. How dare you do this to me. You know, this is wrong, and I'm gonna. I don't care if you beat me up. And the reality was, these guys are gonna kill me.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

So then I was like, I don't have that much money. And then they're like, you got to go to an atm, and they. This is how you know a scammer. A Scammer knows where ATMs are. He's like, there's an ATM two blocks from here.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, so they escorted you, and it was like.

[Asif Ali]

You ever see, like, a diplomat convoy?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

So they did this thing where I was driving my Honda, and there's one car in front of me and one car behind me, and they drove me to this parking lot, and then I got. And I walked up to the ATM, and I took 400 bucks out, and I handed to. And they were looming as I. And I did this. I did this as if that mattered. They could have been like, give me everything, but I did that. Like, that was doing anything. And I gave him the money. And he was like.

[Ego Wodem]

Like, you're a good man. You're a good man.

[Asif Ali]

You're your mother's favorite son, I can tell you. And they left. But then I was thinking, like, it's eight guys dividing $400. This is not a good business.

[Ego Wodem]

No, you should have asked for more.

[Asif Ali]

You should have asked for more.

[Ego Wodem]

It's not even that much money. That's not that much money.

[Asif Ali]

But I think it was one of those things of, like, they were probably hanging out somewhere, and they're like, hey, man, I'm gonna go scam this guy real quick. You guys want to roll through? We'll hit up Dave and Buster's after this. You know, we'll get some token money.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm just shocked by that. Because that's really. What is that, 50 bucks. 50 bucks a person. What are we doing? What do you think they do with that? 50? I don't know.

[Asif Ali]

Get an entree, maybe a drink. That's it. We can't all get appetizers. We only got 50 bucks.

[Ego Wodem]

What? One?

[Asif Ali]

They're sharing. They're doing family style.

[Ego Wodem]

Say appetizer. They went to a family style restaurant,

[Asif Ali]

and the restaurant was like, these guys are close.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. And they're paying cash.

[Asif Ali]

They're paying cash. Yeah. But I feel like every time you move to a big city and you have to get scammed, that's just part of the rite of passage.

[Ego Wodem]

How many times have you been towed? I've been towed once.

[Asif Ali]

I've only been towed once. And that's cause, like, the battery died.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, so you left your car parked

[Asif Ali]

somewhere and the battery died and it's

[Ego Wodem]

like, all right, well, now you gotta get Tower. Do you have AAA now? Cause I do. Of course.

[Asif Ali]

Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had it for years.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. How soon did you get aaa?

[Asif Ali]

Pretty immediately o. Made money.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

I was like, one of the first things I'm gonna do is get triple A.

[Ego Wodem]

What else did you do with your money when you first got money?

[Asif Ali]

I held on to it. I'm like, good with. I was like. Because I grew up the way I grew up, I was like, I'm very. It's hard to get me away from my money. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

What's something you will splurge on?

[Asif Ali]

I will spend money on, like, if I'm with people I like, I will spend money on food.

[Ego Wodem]

We should go eat after this.

[Asif Ali]

I would love to. I would love to. You have a rooftop? You're pulling up rooftops.

[Ego Wodem]

Most expensive rooftop. My agent says they'll take me out. Most expensive.

[Asif Ali]

You know what I like? I like eating at courtside.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, at courtside. It's not a restaurant. It's at msg. During the playoffs. During the playoffs.

[Asif Ali]

Game seven, courtside. I love a pretzel. Hey, you know I love a pretzel.

[Ego Wodem]

What? Come on. Okay, so you'll splurge on friends.

[Asif Ali]

I'll splurge on. On friends, on food. I like traveling. I don't get a ton of time to do it, but I love, like. I was working in London and I, like, flew my mom out.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, that's nice.

[Asif Ali]

We had, like, such a fun time.

[Ego Wodem]

That's good. Just like.

[Asif Ali]

Cause she never got to go. And she was like, I was supposed to go after I got married in India and I Never got to go. And I was like, come out.

[Ego Wodem]

I got you her favorite kid.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. And we were out there just in the streets.

[Ego Wodem]

Did you guys go eat, get an umbrella? And the British people were like, woo.

[Asif Ali]

They're like, why are these guys dancing?

[Ego Wodem]

Dude, we're in London.

[Asif Ali]

It's like, you don't get it.

[Ego Wodem]

You don't get. She was supposed to come.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, she was supposed to be here.

[Ego Wodem]

What are you talking? Didn't happen.

[Asif Ali]

But you don't even know the backstory.

[Ego Wodem]

You don't even know. So what? I'm dancing. Have you guys been to gymkhana?

[Asif Ali]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Let me tell you about.

[Asif Ali]

Come on, tell him.

[Ego Wodem]

Jimkhana. Gymkhana. So I went to London. I was supposed to go to London in. My cousins are British, live in London. They would always come visit us.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And then finally I was like, that's crazy. I've never been. And I have like, not immediate family, but family I see regularly that lives there. So I was supposed to go March 2020. As you can imagine, I did cancel derailed.

[Asif Ali]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ego Wodem]

And so then like two years later, I went. I'm asking people for food recommendations for some reason. Not asking my cousins, but I'm asking other people who've been to London. And the most unlikely candidate, Michael Che, says to me, me, who's pretty glib about most things. Yeah, Gymkhana as like a. I don't know, I don't like. It's probably a bad recommendation.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Best meal of my life from an unlikely source.

[Asif Ali]

Unlikely source, yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Recommended by it. I was like, so good. And now they have. What is it? Ambassadors Club here in New York City.

[Asif Ali]

Yes, yes, yes. I haven't been there yet.

[Ego Wodem]

Haven't been. I would like.

[Asif Ali]

Interesting, interesting.

[Ego Wodem]

Hey, man. And since you splurge. Okay, friends, let's go, let's go, let's go. You already told the people of the podcast that you would splurge on friends, and I. You would splurge on me.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

So I don't know, is that gonna

[Asif Ali]

be the title of this episode?

[Ego Wodem]

Splurge.

[Asif Ali]

Splurge on me.

[Ego Wodem]

Which sounds.

[Asif Ali]

Sounds bad.

[Ego Wodem]

Bad.

[Asif Ali]

But that's gonna get clicks.

[Ego Wodem]

It's gonna get.

[Asif Ali]

That is gonna get clicks.

[Ego Wodem]

Splurge on me.

[Asif Ali]

And that's gonna be my spin off podcast. Splurge on me.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, I want you to splurge all over me.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Splurge. Yeah, yeah. Splurge on me.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Splurge in me. Splurge on me. Okay. Is it weird? Okay, yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Sound off in the Comments, chat. Let's go crazy. Are we splurging on me or what?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it is weird, but anyway, that's okay. Number one hits, millions of records sold awards, sold out tours. You think the Jonas Brothers are satisfied? Nope. It's podcast time.

[Asif Ali]

We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

[Ego Wodem]

A Jonas is available now and their first. Our first guest is a big one, Paul Rudd.

[Asif Ali]

You know, Steve Carell is a great singer.

[Ego Wodem]

Didn't he tell you not to audition

[Asif Ali]

at the office or something? I told him, whoa, we were filming Anchorman. Clearly I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to me, right?

[Ego Wodem]

Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Isaiah Thomas]

What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas and I'm C.J.

[C.J. Toledano]

toledano. And our podcast Point Game is about defying the odds.

[Isaiah Thomas]

Like LeBron heading into the playoffs without Luka and Austin Reed and finding ways

[C.J. Toledano]

to win no matter what.

[Isaiah Thomas]

He's the smartest player to ever play, His IQ is at a level that we've never seen before, and he knows without Luka and Austin Reaves, I gotta manipulate the game.

[C.J. Toledano]

We get a player's perspective on the challenges of the playoffs.

[Isaiah Thomas]

I think Joker's gonna be exhausted this series because when they don't have Rudy in the lineup, he has to really guard guys like Nas Reed, he has to guard Julius Randle, and then he has to give us everything. He gives us on a night to night basis on offense.

[C.J. Toledano]

And when it's friends stop by, like Quentin R.E. richardson, we dive into some playoff history too.

[Asif Ali]

Steve Nash would get that thing.

[Ego Wodem]

That man, hell get the flying. He running up the court, licking his

[Asif Ali]

fingers while he got the ball. Like you go through a training camp with that Isaiah, you figure it out real quick. Oh, yeah. Get your ass up and down the court and you gonna get the ball.

[C.J. Toledano]

So listen to Point game on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Asif Ali]

If you're watching the latest season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down.

[Ego Wodem]

Portia accusing Kelly of slee with a married man. They holding K Michelle back from fighting.

[Isaiah Thomas]

Drew Pinky has financial issues.

[Asif Ali]

I like the bougie style of Housewives show. I think it looks like it's gonna be interesting. On the podcast Reality with the King I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real Housewives franchise. The Drama, the alliances, and the tea everybody's talking about. As an executive producer in reality television, I'm not just watching. I understand the game. As somebody who creates shows, I'll even say this. At the end of the day, when people are at home, they want entertainment. To hear this and more, listen to reality with the king on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is Saigon, the story of my

[Ego Wodem]

family and of the country that shaped us.

[Asif Ali]

The United States will not, not stand by and allow any power, however great, take over another country. From iheart Podcasts, Saigon. Please allow me to introduce Joseph Sherman. You don't think I'm serious about a free Vietnam? I should stop talking so much. I like hearing you talk. One city, a divided country, and the war that tore America apart. This is for Vietnam.

[Ego Wodem]

I've taken a hit from Japanese ground fire.

[Asif Ali]

Do you rate me that point? Pouring petrol all over him.

[Ego Wodem]

He's holding matches.

[Asif Ali]

I'm on a landmine for free.

[Ego Wodem]

Die. Let's get out. Freedom for Vietnam.

[Asif Ali]

Saigon. Starring Kelly Marie Tran and Rob Benedict. Staying here's madness. The world should hear about this. There's a fire coming to this country, and it's going to burn out everything. Listen to Saigon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever, whenever you get your podcasts.

[Ego Wodem]

So that's the things you spend money on. Are you big? Like, are you financially wise, then?

[Asif Ali]

I wouldn't say I'm. I could be smarter with it as far as, like, investments and things, but I am proud of the fact that I have not blown it. I'm not. Like, I have friends who are like, I made it, and then I lost it all, and I'm starting up again. I'm like, I do not have the ability. I don't think I'd have the ability to. To. To get out of that. I feel like if I made it and lost it all, I'd be like, I'm. I'm out, guys. I'm out. I'm gonna get a regular job. I'm done.

[Ego Wodem]

What regular job would you get if you were to have to get one at this point? Yes.

[Asif Ali]

I've thought about this a lot.

[Ego Wodem]

Do tell.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, so I have two options.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

One option is so, like, my. My family's Muslim. I could do that move of, like, I can be like, hey, you know, I was in Hollywood. Nasty place. Now I'm back with God. And people would be like, I want my kids to see this guy. He's an inspirational speaker. Oh, get that scam going. Get that scam going. Uh huh.

[Ego Wodem]

The Muslim Tony Robbins.

[Asif Ali]

And I'll be like, yeah, I worked in Marvel. But there's nothing marvelous about it. It's a dark place.

[Ego Wodem]

You've got the lines ready to go. Just in case.

[Asif Ali]

Imagine me all white suit.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm buying it.

[Asif Ali]

Come on.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm gonna listen to him speak.

[Asif Ali]

Uh huh. Uh huh.

[Ego Wodem]

But then would the whole thing be that, like, what you need is God? That would be the whole thing. Okay. That's option one. What's option two?

[Asif Ali]

Option two is I go to a community college and I teach acting.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow. But why not a university? Why are you saying community college?

[Asif Ali]

Because I feel like I'm not gonna get. I'm not gonna get. My job will never be at risk at a community college.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

With my credits. I'm running that community college.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You're dean all of a sudden.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. At a university. Somebody could pop in. Yeah. And be like, hey, this man does not have a theater degree. Yeah. Why is he. You can't give him tenure at a community. Could be going through a rough patch and be like, hey, man, I want to teach at this university. I'm. I'm gone, you're gone.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. But community college. He's not going to a community college.

[Asif Ali]

You might rename it after me on the hall. The theater. The ASAF Elite Theater for the Arts.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, yeah. It's a good name.

[Asif Ali]

Could be me.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Hey, let's splurge. Let's splurge.

[Ego Wodem]

Splurge.

[Asif Ali]

That's my acting technique.

[Ego Wodem]

Splurge in the comment section. Splurge in the comment section about which one of the two options you'd like to see SF do should things not go well for you? But I think they're gonna go well for you.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm just gonna say that because why not?

[Asif Ali]

Why not? Why not?

[Ego Wodem]

I don't believe that. Doesn't it feel that, like.

[Asif Ali]

It feels good? It feels good. I'm in a great place.

[Ego Wodem]

Delhi boys.

[Asif Ali]

Come on now. I feel good. I feel good about it.

[Ego Wodem]

Come on. Renewed.

[Isaiah Thomas]

Renewed.

[Ego Wodem]

It doesn't happen for people, you know?

[Asif Ali]

And I saw you in Chicago.

[Ego Wodem]

In Chicago. Yes.

[Asif Ali]

You were doing barbershop.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. In the lobby of a hotel.

[Asif Ali]

Is there a better way to meet a famous person than in the lobby of a fancy.

[Ego Wodem]

Stuffing her face at midnight?

[Asif Ali]

Come on. Splurging. Some would say splurging.

[Ego Wodem]

I will say. I'm a big indulger.

[Asif Ali]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

So when I do go out to eat, I am very big. On. We want to try something. We should get it.

[Asif Ali]

There's gonna be a lot of plates.

[Ego Wodem]

When you're there, there's gonna be a lot of plates. Like, let's try it. And if we don't finish it here, someone's gonna take it home. I volunteer.

[Asif Ali]

Okay. You're a box person. You're taking boxes home.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm taking Is. Do you not.

[Asif Ali]

Me too. I love that. It actually kind of infuriates me when I'm with people and they go, there's food on the plates. And they go, yeah, it's fine. And I go, who. What is your life? What is your life? What kind of. What castle did you grow up in that you're sending half of a full plate?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

To the trash.

[Ego Wodem]

That's crazy.

[Asif Ali]

And you know that's pissing off the employees at the restaurant. I know, because they spent all that time making it, and they're like, oh, so my art is garbage to you?

[Ego Wodem]

Crazy.

[Asif Ali]

Two bites in the trash.

[Ego Wodem]

I do. I want to be in the kitchen one day. I was thinking this two days ago because I want to know the vibes in a kitchen. Like, we've seen it on tv, but I'd love to be in person in a kitchen.

[Asif Ali]

It's probably not as sexy.

[Ego Wodem]

No. No.

[Asif Ali]

A lot of sweat.

[Ego Wodem]

So much sweat.

[Asif Ali]

And. But they probably. They probably, first of all, right off the rip would not want us there. They'd be like, why is Echo in the kitchen? What is she doing? She keeps trying to get into that big freezer.

[Ego Wodem]

I get locked in it. That's a movie. Where is it?

[Asif Ali]

She's on TikTok and be like, my life's a movie. I'm locked in the freezer at Gymkhana.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Heaven to me. Actually, I need to get back to Gymkhana. It's constantly on my mind, which is why someone says, london. I go gymkhana.

[Asif Ali]

It's so good.

[Ego Wodem]

Everyone's always talking about Deschoom, which is great.

[Asif Ali]

Deshum is great. I took my mom to both.

[Ego Wodem]

Have you done brunch at Duchoom?

[Asif Ali]

I haven't done brunch. I'd go to dinner, so I'd like. That's good.

[Ego Wodem]

I've heard brunch at Deschume is the move. Is that girl. Yes.

[Asif Ali]

That feels very white to me. And it feels like brunch at Deschum is white. And it's like the South Asian culture we have. We're not having mimosas. Get that shit out of here. I'm eating with my hands and we're getting. We're getting messy.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. And it's dinner.

[Asif Ali]

And when I see people at South Asian places and they're not eating with their hands. Yeah. I go, you should have to pay more.

[Ego Wodem]

And we're.

[Asif Ali]

There should be a fee.

[Ego Wodem]

Can hear us. And this is between.

[Asif Ali]

No, they're turning this. They're turning this bitch up. You think Zuckerberg's not in on this? They're turning this bitch up. He's hearing everything.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

This is in the algorithm now.

[Ego Wodem]

This is. This is in. You think when people go to a sack, you're not eating with your hands.

[Asif Ali]

Pay more.

[Ego Wodem]

You need to pay more.

[Asif Ali]

You think you're better than me? That's a colonizer shit. Oh, and that's what the British think. British weren't eating with their hands.

[Ego Wodem]

They were eating with fork.

[Asif Ali]

They're eating them. Fork and knife.

[Ego Wodem]

Work and knife.

[Asif Ali]

Get that shit out of here.

[Ego Wodem]

Get out.

[Asif Ali]

Get your goddamn fingers in there.

[Ego Wodem]

In the food. If.

[Asif Ali]

If you can't go. Interesting gymkhana.

[Ego Wodem]

Three days later.

[Asif Ali]

Three days later, you're not really living. When I would go visit my family in India, the food was so good that I remember the first time I went, I was in, like, a cab, and I was going like this, and I was just like. And I was just, like, kind of smiling. I was like. And then I was like, oh, my God. Like, the connotation of smelling your fingers is so disgusting in America. It's so gross in America.

[Ego Wodem]

I was about to say, because this. This episode is leading very porn parallel.

[Asif Ali]

Yes, it is. It is.

[Ego Wodem]

It's giving porn.

[Asif Ali]

It's giving porn.

[Ego Wodem]

And we don't want that. I'm smelling my fingers.

[Asif Ali]

I don't want. I don't want it be that.

[Ego Wodem]

What are you doing?

[Asif Ali]

I'm not doing anything.

[Ego Wodem]

You said you're Muslim.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, come on. But. But the food was so good. Have you been India?

[Ego Wodem]

I haven't been to India.

[Asif Ali]

You got to go. You love it.

[Ego Wodem]

Where should I go first?

[Asif Ali]

You should go to. My family's from Hyderabad, which is a big food city. It's incredible. Biryani, okay? Best biryani. Best chai. It's like, oh, my God, the chai. There was, like. There was this one place called Nilofer that we'd go to, and it'd be this place that's opened, like, it's open, like, 15 hours a day. And when they're closing that grate to close the whole business down, there'd be people kind of like sneaking in, trying to slide. Like, when like when the garage door closes and someone tries to roll, people would be doing that, trying to get the chai. That's how good it was. And one time I stayed up all night just to be like, what is really the caffeine intake of here?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And I stayed up all night and then I had it and I was up. Like, my uncles would joke that there was like opium or something in it.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, wow.

[Asif Ali]

And if there is, I love opium. Do they?

[Ego Wodem]

Do they? Yeah, that's the name of the Acifali Loves opium.

[Asif Ali]

I love opium.

[Ego Wodem]

Do they? Do they by chance. And I know. I feel. I know the answer. Sell that chai in some sort of packaging where you can take it home. Okay.

[Asif Ali]

That's why. Actually, no, no, no. I think later on they did. But initially it was just like a. And they're making it in a fucking. A witch's brew cauldron in the back. That's how you know it's good shit. If there's a grown ass man just wearing like a tank top and he's just drenched in sweat and there's no expression and he's just. You just. He's just fucking moving back there and you're like. You're like trying to take a video and he's just looking at you like, you fucking soft ass bitch. Oh, it's just gonna be on your TikTok. I gave my life to this shit. And there's buffalo milk in here. I think the milk is different.

[Ego Wodem]

The milk is different. By the way, that was really beautiful movement you were doing at me. Think you'd be good at the cabbage patch?

[Asif Ali]

You know, I'd rip up a cabbage patch. No, I mean, I. If someone shows me how to do a move, I will do it. I can pick it up.

[Ego Wodem]

Can you, Dougie? I'm gonna show you a tutorial after.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, actually, yeah. And that'll be some of the bonus for the Patreon.

[Ego Wodem]

For the page. Oh, no, no patreon.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, no patreon.

[Ego Wodem]

Substack.

[Asif Ali]

Okay. For substack.

[Ego Wodem]

Shouting out, the substack of this podcast. It does not exist yet.

[Asif Ali]

Oh.

[Ego Wodem]

But I like to say there will be things on the substack.

[Asif Ali]

So you're like a store that hasn't opened yet. You just want a line outside.

[Ego Wodem]

He's teasing.

[Asif Ali]

Tease a substack. Is that what we're doing now?

[Ego Wodem]

I am.

[Asif Ali]

We're teasing a substack.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm teasing.

[Asif Ali]

You're threatening them with the subst.

[Ego Wodem]

It's gonna be behind a paywall. But the little extra Tidbits we cut out of the episode.

[Asif Ali]

Okay. And one of them will be me. Dugging.

[Ego Wodem]

Dugging.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

We are gonna get that on video.

[Asif Ali]

You better.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you comfortable with that?

[Asif Ali]

I'll learn how to do it.

[Ego Wodem]

Let's do it.

[Asif Ali]

I feel like at one point I did know how to do it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Whenever it was.

[Ego Wodem]

When it was a thing.

[Asif Ali]

A thing 10 years ago.

[Ego Wodem]

I also need to ask, do you get offended? Annoyed. Pissed off. Irritated when someone says it's chai tea?

[Asif Ali]

Um, I don't think it's intentional. If it was intentional, then I would get annoyed, get under your skin and go, chai tea.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

I think it's just. I think when people get mad about it, it's like there's bigger problems in the world.

[Ego Wodem]

What do you mean? Could you name one?

[Asif Ali]

There's. There's just a list in text that go over my face right now.

[Ego Wodem]

I have one problem bigger than someone saying, chai tea. I'll wait.

[Asif Ali]

So I would be like, hey, you know, it means it's the same word. It would be like. It's actually just chai. And that's, like, in the language. And people like that when I say that.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Hey, if you just say try it,

[Ego Wodem]

like, that's the way it seemed like

[Asif Ali]

you're a little secret, and then they get happy. But if you go like, hey, you fucking asshole. Yeah, stop doing that. Then you'd be like, I didn't even. I didn't even know. Why are you yelling about something I didn't even know about?

[Ego Wodem]

That's a bar, by the way. Why are you yelling about something? I didn't even know what. We fucked it up.

[Asif Ali]

But they already have it.

[Ego Wodem]

They heard it.

[Asif Ali]

It's going to be in the substack.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it's going to be. The clear line would be in the sub.

[Asif Ali]

We're adr. We're going to first people that do ADR for a podcast. We can come back and clean this all up.

[Ego Wodem]

We should. We should. Asif, do you have kids?

[Asif Ali]

I don't have kids.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you want kids?

[Asif Ali]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

How many do you dream of?

[Asif Ali]

Two.

[Ego Wodem]

Two is perfect, huh? How many siblings does each of your parents have?

[Asif Ali]

7 and 8.

[Ego Wodem]

7 and 8. And my mom is one of nine. And I'm like, it was a different time.

[Asif Ali]

Different time.

[Ego Wodem]

Scott's shaking his head at the thought of nine children. Your grandmother did.

[Asif Ali]

That's just what people did back then.

[Ego Wodem]

That's what they do.

[Asif Ali]

It was a vibe. You became 19.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And they go, all right.

[Ego Wodem]

It's time.

[Asif Ali]

What are we doing here, dude? How long you gonna be a kid for? You gotta get your own. You gotta start collecting kids.

[Ego Wodem]

You can't be a kid anymore. You need to get your own.

[Asif Ali]

Kids in America are doing Pokemon. Back then they were like, hey, you got. We got real life. We got kids.

[Ego Wodem]

Get married.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you married?

[Asif Ali]

I'm not married, no.

[Ego Wodem]

And so you do want to get married?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, this said was such. Would that be so nice? It would be nice. You know what? Sometimes I ask people that question. No. They go, well, to the right person, and I go, that's imply, but that's implied. I don't mean, do you want to get married to any rando on the street? I mean, when I ask it, my implication, the implication for me is that to the person you want to get married.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. Why are they assuming that you want them to marry an evil person?

[Ego Wodem]

I think it's an. A discomfort around saying yes and declaring yes. And maybe something about that feels vulnerable to them.

[Asif Ali]

People don't want to be vulnerable anymore.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. Are you good with vulnerability? You're good with emotions? I'm pretty good. Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Do you cry?

[Asif Ali]

I don't cry as much as I should.

[Ego Wodem]

You need to get some tears out. Do you want to maybe take a moment now?

[Asif Ali]

I mean, we've already talked about splurging so much that I just don't know if I can get tears to happen right now.

[Ego Wodem]

You could cry on. Because I'm like, yeah, do you want practice?

[Asif Ali]

You know, one time I worked on this thing, and I don't know if this. Is this considered a name drop? I was working on a thing, and the director of the show I was working on is Bryce Dallas Howard.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Very nice lady. And she was on Conan. I saw this video of her on Conan where she was like, Conan was asking her about, hey, you can cry just, like, apropos of nothing. And she was like, yeah, I learned this thing where it's kind of like yawning, but you can't see it. And then that. Cause, like, you know when you yawn, your eyes kind of water. So apparently she taught herself how to do that as, like, a kid trying

[Ego Wodem]

it literally, as she's really hard. Really hard.

[Asif Ali]

Like, she was like, you have to be super hydrated and you have to try yawning, and then eventually your eyes will start tearing up. And. And. And so I was like. I was talking to her on set. I go, hey, I saw that video of you on Conan. Is that real? And she was like, yeah. Like, so I was, you know, I was on the show and it's like, yeah, it's like yawning and stuff like that. And then while she was talking to me, she started doing it and she started crying as she was talking to me. And I was like, I don't know whether to be afraid of you or aggressive.

[Ego Wodem]

I know.

[Asif Ali]

Just in casual conversation, being able to

[Ego Wodem]

just, like, just cry.

[Asif Ali]

I was like, I want that. That's a superpower.

[Ego Wodem]

That is a superpower, but it is also spooky. It's a little spooky.

[Asif Ali]

But imagine how much easier, like, audition stuff would be. Like, you go in. In a room or a self. Tape. Self tape's hard. You're like, in your kitchen and they're like, all right, you gotta cry. And I go, I cook here. I make eggs here.

[Ego Wodem]

I can't also, I'm having a good day.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Why do I have to cry?

[Asif Ali]

And they're like, go somewhere. Let's go. Oh.

[Ego Wodem]

And you just go, okay. Am I hydrated? And I'm gonna pretend to yawn.

[Asif Ali]

It's really hard. I've never. I don't think I've ever really genuinely been able to, like, let it rip on camera. Have you ever been able to do that?

[Ego Wodem]

I've done it once, but it took time. I was in a. It took me and my co star just making extended eye contact, and I was like, you look. Someone making extended eye contact with you. And we were in a bed, and we were just. And they were like, we'll take the time we need. And I was like, okay. And then I was just looking at them looking at me, and I'm like, I'm in so much pain.

[Asif Ali]

And you're like, this is so awkward that your body's like, let's just cry so we can get out of this.

[Ego Wodem]

It's so, like, extended.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, let's do it for, like. Let's do it for, like, 10 seconds just to see.

[Ego Wodem]

That's not gonna cut it. Let's set a timer.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm gonna do one minute of us just making eye contact on a pot. You look like you hate this idea, Trevor.

[Asif Ali]

Trevor's like, this is not gonna work for the. For the.

[Ego Wodem]

Let's leave me talking into talking to Trevor Off. This is a very imperfect podcast, by the way.

[Asif Ali]

I don't know why I told you that.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm setting a timer. I'm setting a timer. We're gonna stare at each other for 60 seconds.

[Asif Ali]

I swear to God. This might be a Breakthrough.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, so hold on a timer. We're gonna do 60 seconds. Or we could do a minute or. Okay, hold on.

[Asif Ali]

Someone say the same thing.

[Ego Wodem]

Someone say, which one would you rather do? 60 seconds or I'm minute? You pick.

[Asif Ali]

That's some real. That's some real salesmanship right there. I'm giving you two options.

[Ego Wodem]

Look, we could do one or two things. 60 seconds.

[Asif Ali]

You can either buy the car or you can just pay for it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it's totally up to you. I'm not going to press you decision is yours. I'm. I'm setting our timer now. Don't laugh.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Don't laugh. Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Don't cuss. This is a Christian podcast, okay?

[Asif Ali]

Hollywood for Hollywood. Don't trust Hollywood. Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, Ready? I'm going to do a minute and two seconds. Cuz once I put the phone down, I'm going to get my seconds to put the phone down.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, I'm going.

[Ego Wodem]

All right. I need to get a little more water. Do you want water? That's coffee.

[Asif Ali]

You don't think ice coffee will let. Let me rip.

[Ego Wodem]

Bryce said hydrated.

[Asif Ali]

Okay? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Water's here. Okay. Okay. Hold on.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh my God.

[Asif Ali]

Gosh.

[Ego Wodem]

Chug. I can't do that.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

You have a big bladder, don't you?

[Asif Ali]

Come on, come on.

[Ego Wodem]

Big old bladder.

[Asif Ali]

No, you're making it crazy. Alternate title. You gotta get your big old bladder. Getting on the train with that big old bladder.

[Ego Wodem]

Bladder so big.

[Asif Ali]

Oh. Walking around.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. With that big old bladder. Oh, okay. I think you better than somebody. Cause you're a bladder. So we get it. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Asif Ali]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

All right. And time. Okay. Time.

[Asif Ali]

Don't. We can't.

[Ego Wodem]

Somebody's left and we have to start over. Okay, it's going to work.

[Asif Ali]

It's going to work. For real. For real. For real. For real. For real. For real.

[Ego Wodem]

That was the no bits.

[Asif Ali]

We're completely serious. We're completely serious.

[Ego Wodem]

Serious. I'm looking into your soul.

[Asif Ali]

I'm looking into your soul.

[Ego Wodem]

You're going to look into mine?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You got a lot closer than I did.

[Ego Wodem]

You're getting teary eyed, motherfucker.

[Asif Ali]

You are too.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow. It works.

[Asif Ali]

I'm taking her to a rooftop.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Yes. Does this Ambassadors club have a rooftop?

[Asif Ali]

I. I think so.

[Ego Wodem]

But even if it doesn't, doesn't matter.

[Asif Ali]

But you gotta eat with your hands.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay?

[Asif Ali]

She just backed out.

[Ego Wodem]

You just. I let you talk all that shit and I'm like. But my nails. But my nails. I just got these, these can't be. These are foods.

[Asif Ali]

Guys.

[Ego Wodem]

It kind of works.

[Asif Ali]

It does kind of work.

[Ego Wodem]

Imagine we didn't know a timer was going off, so imagine that. And it was like, really as much time as you need.

[Asif Ali]

Oh, yeah, it would let it rain.

[Ego Wodem]

We're doing different shit over here at Thinkstad. When have you ever listened to a podcast? Podcast. An. An audio forward thing? And they're staring at each other.

[Asif Ali]

The best part of this is someone's gonna be driving and they're gonna be like, did it. Did my phone turn off? What the.

[Ego Wodem]

I know. Every time I'm listening to a podcast, it goes a little silent.

[Asif Ali]

I'm like, oh, someone's calling me. Am I alone with my own thoughts for one second? I can't have that. I need. I need. There needs to be something distracting me at all times. At all times. It's a nice little reflection period for people listening.

[Ego Wodem]

It is. Do you pray or meditate?

[Asif Ali]

Sometimes I'll meditate. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

What. What is your meditation look like? Is it, like, focusing on breathing? Do you use an app?

[Asif Ali]

I don't use an app. Sometimes.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

A lot of it for me, I think now with the Internet is like, just removing stimulation.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

You know what I mean? And then just being like, I'll just, like, sit wherever you're at or whatever. I don't do it as much as I should, but it does work.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

I also have, like, this block thing on my phone.

[Ego Wodem]

You have the thing, the brick.

[Asif Ali]

I don't have to break. It's like an app, whatever. But it. I can't have it on right now, which is why I'm kind of going nuts, because we're in the middle of whatever, so I feel like post about the show.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

So. Which is great. But I usually have it off from like 2am to like 5pm Social media is off.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, wow.

[Asif Ali]

So then I'm like, regulated. So then after 5pm I can, like, check the Internet. But if you're checking the Internet after I read this thing where a guy was saying, somebody who studies a scientist, I shouldn't just call him a guy. But he was. He has a PhD. Some dude this guy studies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big old bladder on that guy. He.

[Ego Wodem]

You know how I feel about a big bladder.

[Asif Ali]

You got that degree with that big old bladder. Yeah. Don't make me walk over there.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah. You mean to say we don't have to stop on the road trip? Me yelling at anyone? I go on a road trip. Like, we're not stopping. Drove all the Way from Maryland to South Carolina with my mom and my sister. And I go, everyone needs to pee. I'm telling these people who are my elders. I go, everyone needs to pee. They're like, we just did. And I go, but that was 10 minutes ago. Go again. This is now. We're gonna get in the car right after you pee, and we're not stopping. My mother, I'm telling her, I'm like, we're not. We did. I was like, this is crazy. But I was like, we're not stopping. We're doing all nine hours. No stops.

[Asif Ali]

Were you kind of like a bossy?

[Ego Wodem]

What do you mean? What would make you think that?

[Asif Ali]

She slaps me. What do you mean?

[Ego Wodem]

No, you know, I can be type A, and so I can be a little. I can be a little controlling.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this guy was saying, like, if you cut out like that in the morning, like, right when you wake up, like, if you can give yourself a couple hours before you start blasting your phone, they're like. That does, like, so much that, like, clears up the whole day. And when I do it, it's like, you don't. You're not wanting to be on it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

You realize it's almost just like, a compulsion of, like, you just wake up and you want to. Whatever.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

It's just a thing to do.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

But when you take it out, you go, like, oh, okay, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

What does it clear? What are the things that clears up? Is it like. Oh, it improves your sleep?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, it improves your sleep. But more so for me, it just allows me to kind of, like, focus on, like, things that I actually have to do. Because you can rip time because it's, like, an endless way. Whatever. So I'm like, oh, I can actually do the things that I need to do instead of just getting, like, distracted by something. Because sometimes there is interesting stuff on there, but it's like, I can do that later.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And, like, there's things that I have to do right now that I'm delaying because this thing is, like, shiny.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. It's so. It's crazy because sometimes I will not be on my phone just because I was, like, running around all day. Like, I'll lowkey forget to eat, and I'll also not be on my phone.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And at, like, 7pm Someone will be like, this crazy thing happened in the news today. And I'm like, wait, I didn't know because I haven't been on the Internet in any way. I had no idea what was happening. And I don't carve out a, like, read a newspaper moment, I feel. Do you read the news?

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, I'm actually, like, a little too tapped into the news.

[Ego Wodem]

We gotta get help. You dial back.

[Asif Ali]

But it's a good thing. I like being informed. But then I'm pretty good at being able to, like. I just wanna know about things.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

I don't really know about, like, some of my friends are, like, really into, like. Like the gossip of it all of, like, who's dating who and whatever. Whatever, whatever. I like to just know it's popping off that way I don't, like, accidentally shake hands with someone who's running ice or something. You know what I mean? I'll be like, hey, I met this guy. Thanks for coming to my show. And then people will be like, yeah, that guy's Whatever, whatever. I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And. And it also helps with, like, voting for stuff or whatever. But I like. I'd like to know stuff.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Do you ever worry about getting cancer canceled? Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

But then sometimes I think, like, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. But then I also think about, like, what would I really get canceled for?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And is that something that I could recover from? And it's like, there's actual, like, real monsters and they're still on tour.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

So, like, what.

[Ego Wodem]

What could it possibly.

[Asif Ali]

What could I do that I could not bounce back from?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Yeah. You know who you are. That's what. Okay.

[Asif Ali]

There's actual monsters selling out theaters still.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Asif Ali]

So it's like, what. What.

[Ego Wodem]

What is cancellation?

[Asif Ali]

What does that even mean?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Have you ever been worried about getting canceled? Yeah. Well, there was. There was a period.

[Asif Ali]

I mean, you're gonna. After this.

[Ego Wodem]

I know. We're jinxing, both of us. Everybody in here, Trevor, Scott, everybody getting canceled. No, no, no, no, no. Well, here's the thing is that I'm like. People misconstrue things all the time. And so I've seen that as well. And then it can. Can get you in your head of like, okay, I want to say things exactly correctly, but that's just not being human as well. So, like, yeah, there's people who's. Who are like, Mal intended and don't give a. And do actual monstrous difference between that

[Asif Ali]

and, like, making a mistake and then taking accountability. And then there's some people who make a mistake and they're like, no, no, I'm gonna. I'm digging my heels on this, actually. My whole identity has shifted, so I think it's just that.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it's not something to be.

[Asif Ali]

I'm not that worried.

[Ego Wodem]

Worried again.

[Asif Ali]

There's real problems.

[Ego Wodem]

There's is what's something that's stressing you out lately?

[Asif Ali]

All of it just. It's not necessarily. Yeah, it is stressing me out, actually. Yeah. All that shit.

[Ego Wodem]

It is a wild time, isn't it?

[Asif Ali]

And you go, like, why are there so many people who like, are choosing to be mean for no reason?

[Ego Wodem]

So wild.

[Asif Ali]

I mean, there is a reason. It's very. Financially money to be a cheap love

[Ego Wodem]

of money that does.

[Asif Ali]

That actually does bum me out. That like, if you do a job that, like, helpful to society, you get nothing in return. Like if you're a teacher or a social worker or like, you help, whatever, there's nothing. But then you're like, oh, if you work for like, you know, some sort of evil, you know, if you're a work for a weapons manufacturer, it's like, I have three homes.

[Ego Wodem]

I know.

[Asif Ali]

You know what I mean? So like, it's like incentivizing. Yeah. Like, I was talking to my friend and their kid graduated college. College. And they're talking about how all of their friends. There's a brain drain from like, these kids want to do jobs that are like, good for humanity, but they also have these insane loans because college is not free in our. The richest country in the world. So then they, like, that's how all these, like, terrible companies get all these kids because they go, hey, you can pay off your loans in like two years. But then those kids are like, depressed because then they're like, we're working for this like, soul crushing company.

[Ego Wodem]

And you feel it. You gotta feel it. You gotta feel it at night. And then. Yeah. How they process that.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. What would you do if you weren't doing this? If you weren't absolutely dominating the substack space, Absolutely terrorizing the substack community?

[Ego Wodem]

They call me Sister Substack. I'm known online. Oh, is that.

[Asif Ali]

Is that the move on there? Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I am ourself. If I wasn't doing this, I think that I'd be like a headhunter. But like, like help people find jobs. I love helping people find what they're looking for. I always have. I think it's so fun. Like, I love to be like, let me crack the case. Like, if my brother was like 10 years ago, 12 years ago, like, I'm just trying to find this pair of pants that I like. It's not that it's a brand, but it's a Style. I'm like, you said that in passing, but I'm on it.

[Asif Ali]

Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

And I used to help people find jobs. I used to like, friends. My day job. When they wanted to leave our day job. Sorry. I helped some people exit, but it was like, yeah, hey, I saw this posting for a job for you. And they're like, you're looking. Thank you. But it's really just. I don't. I love helping people find what they're looking for, so.

[Asif Ali]

Nice. You'd be good at it.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you.

[Asif Ali]

Business suit.

[Ego Wodem]

Can you imagine me in a pantsuit?

[Asif Ali]

Oh. Showing up to a coffee shop opening. Be like, where's an outlet? Yeah, I need an outlet.

[Ego Wodem]

I need an outlet right now. What's the WI FI password? No, no, I'm not buying.

[Asif Ali]

And you're not even using a MacBook. You're using. Using one of those Lenovo ThinkPads. That's what those real business people are using. Consultants.

[Ego Wodem]

And I don't have an office for some reason. Of course not.

[Asif Ali]

Because you're like, the world is my office.

[Ego Wodem]

I need to be with the people.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. You're opening your laptop on a hood of someone else's car.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

You're like, I gotta send this email. Your phone's a hotspot.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, my God. Imagine me in this. I think it's best I do this for a little bit longer.

[Asif Ali]

You're sweating on the train. Your sunglasses are lopsided. You're like, I'm getting work done.

[Ego Wodem]

I love how every working person is sweating. No matter what working in a kitchen

[Asif Ali]

is, if you're not sweating, you're not working. I've done standup shows where I'm sweating.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

I'm like, man, this is tough.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Okay. It's time for a segment. It's called that's Nice, but what about me? Yeah, I think it's tough. It's been so wonderful to learn about you, but it's like, when is this gonna turn into some shit about me? Because when I go on stage and I'm sweating, I'm like. And I'm doing improv and I'm sweating. I'm like, I gotta wear dark colors. It can't be color. Even white is white. White's wild. It's gonna get messy. But, like, it's gotta be black. I think, what are you doing?

[Asif Ali]

If I'm cheating, I'm also usually doing. I'm not like a big sweater.

[Ego Wodem]

Brag, but okay.

[Asif Ali]

Hey, not the fucking sweater.

[Ego Wodem]

You're not a big, chunky sweater.

[Asif Ali]

Not a big chunky sweater. Another altern. I don't see you with that big chunky sweater.

[Ego Wodem]

Cable knit, cashmere boat trip.

[Asif Ali]

But I am like, I move around a lot. So if I'm doing like an hour moving around and it's like a proper whatever where they're blasting you with a light, I like to wear, like this kind of thing. I like to wear, like a shirt with, like a nice little jacket. I like to make them feel like, okay, this guy didn't just walk off the street.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

He thought about it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

He's valuing.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure.

[Asif Ali]

Our money. Because a lot of times when I'm performing, it's someone else's date night. You don't want to be on a date and looking at a guy and, you know, I mean, looking with pit stains.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Asif Ali]

Got cheese on your shirt and like, what are we doing here?

[Ego Wodem]

That's crazy.

[Asif Ali]

Come on, we paid to come see you.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. So. Come on.

[Asif Ali]

You look like you just went to Quiznos.

[Ego Wodem]

I do. I hate to see that. I'm like, come on, put on.

[Asif Ali]

What are you doing?

[Ego Wodem]

Put your clothes on for the audience. Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

What is this?

[Ego Wodem]

How do you take care of your body, though? Like, you said, you move around a lot.

[Asif Ali]

I exercise, I stretch.

[Ego Wodem]

But like, physical therapy, massages, are you good?

[Asif Ali]

I haven't sustained any huge injuries to the point where I'm like, hey, man, you gotta be in PT constantly. Okay. But I am brag, but I.

[Ego Wodem]

Big flex.

[Asif Ali]

Big flex.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

I just fall down the stairs after this. But I stretch, I try to stay loose and I. Thankfully, I have not had any. No injuries. Yeah, but you move around a lot, too.

[Ego Wodem]

I do move around a lot, but I've hurt myself a lot as well.

[Asif Ali]

Have you really?

[Ego Wodem]

My Achilles is currently fucked up.

[Asif Ali]

You and Kevin Durant.

[Ego Wodem]

Me and Kevin. And Dante DiVincenzo.

[Asif Ali]

And Dante DiVincenchio.

[Ego Wodem]

But he ruptured his. And so. Yeah. And so I. I don't. So I'm not that deep yet.

[Asif Ali]

Okay, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. No, I don't want to be that. I don't want to be that deep. But I injure myself. But I just feel. I just vibe.

[Asif Ali]

Because I saw pictures of your show at the Netflix festival and I was

[Ego Wodem]

like, where are those.

[Asif Ali]

Where are.

[Ego Wodem]

Did it come on a link?

[Asif Ali]

There's some wild ass photos of you.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, my gosh.

[Asif Ali]

Let's just say there's one of you in a full squat. Where I was like, it was full

[Ego Wodem]

squat and I'm wearing Spanx.

[Asif Ali]

And you said.

[Ego Wodem]

And you can see the cheeks and the coochie.

[Asif Ali]

And let me just tell you something. You can see my vagina was not your friend.

[Ego Wodem]

You saw my vagina?

[Asif Ali]

I saw all of it. And I was like, yeah, book me.

[Ego Wodem]

I'll do the podcast.

[Asif Ali]

I took my phone and I signed the screen. I did docusign on the screen.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. We asked your team if you would do the podcast. We were in limbo for a while, but then after my Netflix show, where apparently my vagina's on the Internet somewhere. Somewhere.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

You said yes, it makes sense. Well, it's a power of a cooch.

[Asif Ali]

Power of a cooch. Another title.

[Ego Wodem]

A power of a cooch.

[Asif Ali]

That's the sub stack title. That's the sub sack, and that's a shirt.

[Ego Wodem]

And that's.

[Asif Ali]

We're gonna get it.

[Ego Wodem]

Power of a cooch. Something good on the back.

[Asif Ali]

The merch is just making itself at this point.

[Ego Wodem]

I want to play a game with you before you go.

[Asif Ali]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. It's called thanks. No thanks.

[Asif Ali]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm gonna name a bunch of gifts.

[Asif Ali]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Simply five. This is rapid fire. Gotcha. You're saying thanks or no thanks.

[Asif Ali]

You're trying to trap me.

[Ego Wodem]

You're trying to. Yeah. Cause you just said something about my vagina on my podcast.

[Asif Ali]

I didn't say anything about it. I just said you looked great and you were moving around.

[Ego Wodem]

How did my vagina look? I haven't clicked the link.

[Asif Ali]

Hold on.

[Ego Wodem]

Like, what?

[Asif Ali]

Listen, if Ted Sarandos is personally clearing all these things and he goes, that's a good pussy. You gotta put her up there.

[Ego Wodem]

That's a gorgeous pussy.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

You see, the thing is, there were no.

[Asif Ali]

And they said DEI was dead. And they said DEI was dead.

[Ego Wodem]

Dead.

[Asif Ali]

He's back, baby.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm like, there were no phones allowed in that show. You see, they had a full blown

[Asif Ali]

photographer with a geographic lens.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. But I'm like, the reason I squatted like that was because there were no phones. Not the motherfucker with the. I will be sending an email, a Karen esque email after this. I started to draft it right now to be like, now, now. Come on now, y' all. Common sense. It was a private show. If I knew there were. Karen. Private show. It was a private show. You had to have tickets. Your phone was. Was locked in a pouch. But this man with the professional camera,

[Asif Ali]

they came in like this.

[Ego Wodem]

Why? And you don't even know what the joke was at that point.

[Asif Ali]

The photographer was like. Right when you squatted, you're like, yeah, this is the. This is the first pick on the carousel. Let's.

[Ego Wodem]

Anyway, thanks. No. That photographer. You on my shit list. I'm gonna find out your name and I'm shouting you out on the podcast. Cause that's gonna go ahead and be insane. Okay, thanks. No, thanks. A cute turtle that you'll have to take care of for 30 years.

[Asif Ali]

Thanks.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, yeah. Cause dad's birdman.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, I love an animal. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Deodorant.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, of course. Yes. So, yeah, thanks. Absolutely.

[Ego Wodem]

Thanks. Absolutely.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, thanks. Absolutely.

[Ego Wodem]

A really nice lawn mower with a seat and all the workings and trash and my bottom.

[Asif Ali]

Are you buying it?

[Ego Wodem]

It's a gift. These are gifts.

[Asif Ali]

I don't have a yard. I live in an apartment. But it's a really nice lawnmower.

[Ego Wodem]

Might be worth something.

[Asif Ali]

Thanks. I'll take it. We're on Facebook Marketplace. And then we're going out to dinner

[Ego Wodem]

and then we're going to Bassin's up the rooftop.

[Asif Ali]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

An all expenses paid trip to Caesar's palace for one week, multiple shows and dinners included. But your friends can't come.

[Asif Ali]

Sure, yeah. Thanks.

[Ego Wodem]

Thanks.

[Asif Ali]

I'll go.

[Ego Wodem]

That's crazy. I fucking hate.

[Asif Ali]

I'll go. Well, you don't have to know.

[Ego Wodem]

You're so chill.

[Asif Ali]

They don't have to know.

[Ego Wodem]

You would spend a week in Vegas by yourself. Wow, you really are a touring comedian.

[Asif Ali]

I'll find chill things to do.

[Ego Wodem]

A good man. You are.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

A gift certificate to go skydiving at a place that has a 4.1 out of 5 stars.

[Asif Ali]

Absolutely not. No, thanks. Absolutely not. Anything less than five stars, my life's on the lineup. Or not. Even if the. No. Even if there's a dude strapped to me. This is a C student. Yeah, I'm not. No, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.

[Ego Wodem]

Even the rating changed. You're still not doing it.

[Asif Ali]

If it was a five out of five and there's not one, when you click through the ratings, there cannot be one rating that's under 5. I need all survivors. I can't even. I don't even want a moment where the guy goes, oh, I think it's. Oh, it's actually on this side. I don't want that. Even that. It's over for me.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Asif Ali]

I can't have that.

[Ego Wodem]

We're doing it. Okay. One more segment with you. Awesome.

[Asif Ali]

All right.

[Ego Wodem]

We did call this segment Passenger Princess. Take the wheel. I want to work the name for this segment. Thank u. Next. Okay, so our last guest, Michelle Buteau asked you a question.

[Asif Ali]

Love, Michelle.

[Ego Wodem]

As do I, period. Michelle's question for you is, who was your favorite teacher and why?

[Asif Ali]

My favorite teacher, man, I had a lot. I had a lot of cool teachers. I had a teacher, Mr. Field, when I was in high school and I took this one theater class, just one. And he, you know, he would ask me, like, we do these journals, and he'd be like, try to find out what everybody wanted to do. And at the time, I, like, really wanted to do stand up. And so I would write about it and stuff. And then he took me to the side one day and he was like, hey, just between us, if you do like, if you write like five minutes of stand up and you perform it for the class every Monday, you don't have to do any homework. Aw. I'll just let. I'll just let it. Let it ride.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

And I go, oh, my God, that's amazing, because you can tell I actually care. Like, I would watch specials and I would, like, quote them or whatever. And. And so I did do that. And it was some of the worst stand up of all time in hindsight, but sure. But it was like, what a great way to, like, learn the mechanics in, like, a fun place and to have someone be like, hey, I see that you like doing this thing. Do it.

[Ego Wodem]

You should do it.

[Asif Ali]

And I really. And then through that, I started doing open mics and blah, blah, blah. And so that was, like, really fun and I'm really glad that. And I still talk to him and stuff. And yeah, it was a really encouraging, nice moment in my life that kind of sometimes, you know, you get a little nudge. Yeah, that was great.

[Ego Wodem]

That's very special. Shout out to Mr. Fields.

[Asif Ali]

Shout out to Mr. Fields.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah, Mr. Field. Fields. Wow. Okay. That's dope. A. Thank you so much for being here today. I appreciate you. I have an angry email to go send.

[Asif Ali]

Hey, you got to send it. Hey,

[Ego Wodem]

I gotta get my. My. What is it? My. My. My briefcase.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah, your briefcase. Lenovo ThinkPad.

[C.J. Toledano]

Yeah.

[Asif Ali]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Before I start finding people jobs, I have an angry email to send. Thank you so much. I appreciate you being here.

[Asif Ali]

Thank you.

[Ego Wodem]

Bye.

[Asif Ali]

Thanks for having me.

[Ego Wodem]

Bye. That was my conversation with Asif Ali. Pretty damn fun. Pretty damn inappropriate. I have to still, you know, he's maybe gonna teach himself how to Dougie offline out of studio and post that online. But we did. We did do a Dougie tutorial. It was not successful, but that's okay. That's okay. I love that he was game. I hope you enjoyed the conversation and I'll catch you on the next one. Thinkstad is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca.

[Jake Stauch]

I'm Jake Stauch, co founder and CEO of Cervel. We built Servl to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password reset, access to applications. My laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. It desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Cerbal, it becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run it. We guarantee you'll automate 50% of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four week pilot. Go to cervel.com tickets that's S E-R-V-A L.com tickets.

[Asif Ali]

Hey guys, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called hey Jo. Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast. Well, we didn't invent it. We. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know, tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Isaiah Thomas]

What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas.

[C.J. Toledano]

And I'm C.J. toledano. And it's our favorite time of the year on our podcast, Point Game, the playoffs.

[Isaiah Thomas]

We're digging into the biggest surprises of the season, and I'm looking back on some of my playoff moments. If we didn't talk ever again, I was fine.

[C.J. Toledano]

You just understood.

[Isaiah Thomas]

That's how personal it get.

[Jake Stauch]

Wow.

[Isaiah Thomas]

Then after that game seven, Marquis coming to you, he's like, you know, I love you, dog. You know it's all love. This was just playoffs. This was just basketball.

[C.J. Toledano]

So listen to Point game on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ego Wodem]

Why are we all so obsessed with romance? On the Radio 831 podcast, join us Sanjanah Bhasker and Tyler McCarthy all as we unpack all the trending tropes, buzzy adaptations, booktok drama and celebrity love stories with hot takes and sharp guests. Each episode digs into what these stories reveal about desire, fantasy, identity and how we love. Now listen to the Radio 831 podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.

[Asif Ali]

Guaranteed Human.