Billy Porter

Summary

Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim
Episode: Billy Porter (May 12, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and hilarious episode, Ego Nwodim welcomes Emmy, Grammy, and Tony Award winner Billy Porter to the show. They delve into life’s biggest challenges—sickness, loss, and fame—and reflect on resilience, legacy, and what it means to truly show up for yourself and your community. Billy shares raw details of his recent health crisis, the impact of his mother’s passing, navigating life after divorce, aging in the public eye, and his ongoing journey towards self-acceptance and presence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Billy’s Health Crisis & Mortality

• Surviving Sepsis and Facing Death
  Billy recounts contracting sepsis after a kidney infection became complicated during his West End run of Cabaret. He describes waking up after three days on life support, reflecting on mortality, and the subsequent journey back to health.

  • “I was on ECMO for three days. I checked myself in on Tuesday night. I woke up on a Saturday night.” (Billy Porter, 04:13)
  • “I never thought about death a lot… But I never thought about it. And the fact that I… I think more now about my mortality and what am I doing right now then, you know, how am I showing up even more grounded and more present than I've been before...” (Billy Porter, 05:03)

• Reframing Life After Trauma
  The experience made Billy re-evaluate his priorities and deepen his daily grounding practices, including morning pages from The Artist's Way (06:24).

  • "I’m so grateful to be alive and I’m slowly getting back on the horse." (Billy Porter, 04:59)

Spiritual Journey & Belief Systems

• Blending Christianity and Buddhism
  Billy discusses how his mother’s passing catalyzed his exploration of Buddhism alongside Christianity, focusing on impermanence and being present.

  • "The day we put her in the ground, I became Buddhist." (Billy Porter, 07:18)
  • “Christian Buddhist, absolutely.” (Billy Porter, 08:58)

• Ego, Suffering, and Acceptance
  Billy emphasizes Buddhist teachings on suffering and how responding with acceptance (rather than resistance) is key.

  • “It’s our response to [what happens] that causes us to suffer so greatly. And so I’ve been trying to practice that a little bit more and not suffer so much.” (Billy Porter, 07:42)

Convenience, Modernity & Activism

• Convenience Culture & Social Change
  The duo riffs on modern consumer convenience and how it contrasts with historic activism.

  • "Our lives have become so convenient that we don't even know what it's like to get up and go to a store anymore." (Billy Porter, 11:39)
  • “What does our activism look like in this new world order?” (Billy Porter, 11:15)

• Tech, Boycotts, and Ethics
  Billy critiques large tech firms, including ChatGPT, citing ethical concerns and calls for responsible digital consumerism.

  • “Because they fund ICE and Trump. We’re boycotting them.” (Billy Porter, 10:28)

Personal Rituals, Daily Life, and Grounding

• The Joy of Grocery Shopping
  Both share their appreciation for daily trips to the grocery store and learning to cook smaller, intentional meals post-pandemic.

  • “There were decades that I just really didn’t know how to cook for less than 15 people.” (Billy Porter, 14:19)
  • “I always go to the grocery store.” (Billy Porter, 14:45)

• Coffee, Matcha, and Hosting
  A playful exchange about coffee, Nespresso, and matcha echoes the comfort of rituals and adapting to loved ones’ habits.

Legacy, Aging, and Evolving Ambitions

• Embracing Age and Career Shifts
  Billy discusses performing in La Cage aux Folles and adjusting to changes in his physical abilities after illness. He confronts feelings of loss, ego, and the new facets of his career.

  • “One of those very specific things is that, you know, every so often I’ll put on a pumpkin, a heel, a Rick Owens eight inch, eight and a half inch platform boot. And I can’t do that right now. And to be faced with, ooh… I’m good…and everything I'm feeling right now doesn't have anything to do with my… Nothing to do with anything but my ego. This is the next level of me breaking that down…” (Billy Porter, 22:01)

• Art as Ministry, Loss, and Resilience
  Billy frames artistry as a calling/ministry, recalling loss during the AIDS crisis and the importance of representing the Black and queer experience.

  • “I have watched so many of my heroes, you know, really burn out so early… I also lived through the AIDS crisis. I’m 56 years old.” (Billy Porter, 19:39)
  • “I am so grateful to be alive.” (Billy Porter, 20:01)

• Ongoing Creative Ambitions
  Despite his numerous accolades, Billy shares projects he’s still striving to bring into the world—TV shows, films, new musicals.

  • "Now is the time to get that done." (Billy Porter, 60:30)

Hard Truths: Divorce, Family, and Grief

• Messy Divorce & Legal System
  Billy candidly discusses the emotional and financial blow from his recent divorce.

  • “Covid. Into two strikes. Into a really messy, nasty divorce for three years that just got over about two months ago. Finally. Where he got…almost every cent I ever worked for in my life.” (Billy Porter, 60:59)

• His Mother’s Evolving Acceptance
  Billy movingly recounts his mother’s journey from religious rejection of his sexuality to full acceptance—and her request to confront the church after her death.

  • “She went from that all the way to a choosing me and choosing the LGBTQ community in Jesus name Through love, and told my sister and I on her deathbed to stand up… and hold the people…accountable and tell them the truth, because they are wrong. I mean, it’s so beautiful, and I miss her so much.” (Billy Porter, 63:19)

• Physical Limitations and Vulnerability
  He speaks vulnerably about loss of physical ability and fears as an artist who relies on his body, emphasizing working through discomfort and ego.

  • “To feel like you’ve lost your superpower is uncomfortable… Feelings are not always facts. And so I’m working myself through that right now.” (Billy Porter, 65:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was on ECMO for three days. I checked myself in on Tuesday night. I woke up on a Saturday night.” (Billy Porter, 04:13)
• “[My mother] went from that [rejection] all the way to a choosing me and choosing the LGBTQ community in Jesus name Through love.” (Billy Porter, 63:19)
• “I’ve already done it. Anytime I have, like that, you know, when we all have that twinge of, oh, I wanna. It's like, oh, wait, I already did it.” (Billy Porter, 59:20)
• “Fashion is my armor. My fashion is my weapon. My fashion is my politics. My fashion is my superpower.” (Billy Porter, 67:34)
• “That was my superpower. And to feel like you've lost your superpower is uncomfortable.” (Billy Porter, 65:40)
• “I handle the trolls on—by living. I keep living. And I keep thriving.” (Billy Porter, 73:45)

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Important Timestamps

• Billy’s sepsis story & health scare: 02:04 – 05:53
• Spiritual shift, losing his mother, becoming Buddhist: 06:24 – 08:58
• Activism vs. convenience/technology critique: 10:28 – 12:16
• Daily rituals and grocery store routines: 13:35 – 15:14
• Who does Billy want to thank? (core show question): 18:12 – 21:00
• Art-making as calling, legacy, and AIDS crisis: 19:39 – 22:58
• Processing aging and breaking down ego: 22:01 – 25:34
• Creative ambitions and projects still to come: 59:54 – 60:30
• Uncomfortable truths—divorce, grief, and limitations: 60:39 – 65:40
• Handling trolls & public misunderstanding: 72:02 – 73:49

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Tone & Language

The episode is rich with warmth, candor, humor, and gentle self-reflection. Ego and Billy both share personal anecdotes with an open, relatable tone, blending moments of levity (“That’s called ADHD, girl” - Billy Porter, 09:38) with deep, vulnerable reflections on life, faith, disappointment, and growth.

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Final Reflections

Billy Porter’s appearance on “Thanks Dad” is an engaging, deeply personal journey through loss, faith, transformation, and the enduring power of self-expression—and joy. Ego’s warm, playful hosting keeps the conversation lively, honest, and both laugh-out-loud funny and quietly moving. The episode resonates as a celebration of resilience and the power of living unapologetically, no matter what life (or the internet) throws your way.

Transcript

[Ego Wodem]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

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[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, and she lost her mind and then she went crazy.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, wait, I should introduce you.

[Billy Porter]

Yes, introduce me. Do what you need.

[Ego Wodem]

I need to do. Okay. My next guest is Emmy, Grammy and Tony award winner three times. Okay. And their next book, Songbird in the light is out right now. It's Billy Porter.

[Billy Porter]

Hi.

[Ego Wodem]

Hello. How are you?

[Billy Porter]

I'm fabulous. I'm so happy to be here with you.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm so happy you're here with me.

[Billy Porter]

I've been such a fan for a really long time.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you. Likewise. Truly, truly and honestly, just reading the bio. When I said we need the O. The Oscar.

[Billy Porter]

Yes, we do need the O.

[Ego Wodem]

Let's get the O. It's no rush, right?

[Billy Porter]

No, I'm not rushing. Yeah. After. After the last year of my life, I'm not rushing about anything anymore.

[Ego Wodem]

What happened in the last year?

[Billy Porter]

So I had sepsis last year. I don't know if you know that.

[Ego Wodem]

I did not know that.

[Billy Porter]

I had sepsis last year in August. Started with a urinary infection in England when I was starring as the emcee making my West End debut in Cabaret.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

Kander and Ebbs Cabaret. And then, you know, I got a urinary infection. And you know, I love London and their medication is trash.

[Ego Wodem]

Listen, about getting medicine in Europe, but you can't get anything. I got burnt on the forehead by a hairstylist in September and I was like, I need some Neosporin so this doesn't scar. They said, we don't have that you need a prescription for Neosporin. And of course, like, whatever the equivalent is. And they're like, no, because it has an antibiotic in it. You need a prescription. I'm like, for Neosporin.

[Billy Porter]

Right. And so four. So 10 weeks and four rounds of weak ass antibiotics later, it was a kidney infection with kidney stones. This is April then and only then did they give me the strongest stuff that they had at the time.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

And it seemed to have gone away. Okay, fast forward to August. I'm doing cabaret here. I'm in my fourth week. Marisha Wallace and I, three black people in the leads of this musical that has never had black people telling, you know, our version of the Holocaust story. Because we were there too. And it was, you know, I was really. I felt really like in my purpose. And. And then the kidney stone pain came back and turns out the kidney stone was stuck in my urethra. There was so much old backed up bile and infection that had not been dealt with that when they put the stent in to do the routines, procedure to like redirect the urine and blast me with antibiotics, American antibiotics.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, okay.

[Billy Porter]

The good stent to get it gone, it bubbled up and went into my bloodstream. Oh, and I went Euro septic. I was on ECMO for three days. I checked myself in on Tuesday night. I woke up on a Saturday night. Compartment syndrome in my leg where the muscles sort of, you know, turn in on themselves and cut off the circulation. They had to give me a fasciotomy and cut me on both sides of my calf and then from my knee to my hip. It's been crazy. I'm still healing. It's a slow process. I'm so grateful to be alive and I'm slowly getting back on the horse.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm grateful you're here. I'm grateful you're alive. That is crazy.

[Billy Porter]

It was really, really crazy. And something that makes you go, wow. I've never thought about death a lot. I grew up in the Pentecostal Church. You know, we were exposed to death. Death is going home, you know, homegoing, blah, blah, whatever. You know, I was looking at caskets at 5, open caskets at 5. Like, I don't have a fear like that. Like, I have a relationship with. Yeah, that's what. But I never thought about it. And the fact that I. I think more now about my mortality and what am I doing right now then, you know, how am I showing up even more grounded and more present than I've been before, you know, so I'm Grateful to be here.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. I'm so grateful. May I ask you what ECMO is, though? Just.

[Billy Porter]

Oh, the ECMO machine is essentially the new life support machine.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

I was on life support, like, all of my organs had shut down.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Billy Porter]

For three days. It was crazy.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. So to be. I'm. I am so grateful that you are here. I'm grateful you're here with me now. And you say you are so much more present and try to be grounded when you enter a space. What kinds of things do you do to ground yourself day to day?

[Billy Porter]

Well, I'm a big fan of a book called the Artist's Way. I have it on my shelf by Julia Cameron. Take it off your shelf and do it.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

I did it in 2000. I did the business version in 2010. I did it again last year. There's one thing that I take from it all the time, which are the morning pages. It's sort of very similar to journaling. You're supposed to write three pages longhand every day. Stream of consciousness, no judgment on anything or anything. I type them now because I've been doing it for so long that my. That my mind body connection is present and there as if I were writing. But that grounds me. You know, my mom passed a couple of years ago, and she was Pentecostal. And the day we put her in the ground, I became Buddhist.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, because you said, mommy's not here anymore,

[Billy Porter]

and I put her through enough.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

You know, being gay and refusing to go in the closet. You said, I'm not being who I am. You know, they put her through so. You know, church put her through so much. I was like, I'm not gonna put her through another thing.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You said, I'm not gonna tell her I'm not Christian no more. I'm Buddhist.

[Billy Porter]

I let her die before I became Buddhist.

[Ego Wodem]

The day they put.

[Billy Porter]

Literally, they put her in the ground. And my sister's best friend is a Buddhist. And I was like, come here, girl. And so I've been slowly trying to, like, you know, figure out what that is. And I really love the meditation. I love. I just love the tenets. It's just. It's like we're just here to be present. We're here to be available. The releasing of permanence. Everything being impermanent and releasing everything so you don't suffer. You know, it's not what happens. It's our response to it that causes us to suffer so greatly. And so I've been trying to practice that a little bit more and not suffer so much.

[Ego Wodem]

Cause we do bring on a lot of our own suffering. Cause we want things to be different.

[Billy Porter]

We want things to be different as opposed to. This is what it is. Let's be right where we are, you know?

[Ego Wodem]

You see, I'm Christian, but I read a lot of Buddhists.

[Billy Porter]

Well, I'm Christian, too.

[Ego Wodem]

You said I'm Christian Buddhist.

[Billy Porter]

Christian Buddhist, absolutely.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Yeah, I read a lot of. Have you read you are Here by Titch Nhat Hanh?

[Billy Porter]

No, but I'm gonna get it.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, you get it. I'll read the Artist's Way. Get it off the shelf. I do morning pages, by the way.

[Billy Porter]

You do?

[Ego Wodem]

Because my therapist suggested it years ago, but I don't. You know, I don't think she mentioned to me it was a thing from the Artist's Way. I think, like, years later, I heard someone say it was from the Artist's Way. But I do a page stream of consciousness. But it's so fascinating because I can't write fast enough for how my brain.

[Billy Porter]

I can do this fast enough.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, my brain. I'm like, well, I'm already onto the grocery list. And oh, and oh, what a beautiful life.

[Billy Porter]

My morning page, that's called adhd, girl.

[Ego Wodem]

I think I do have adhd.

[Billy Porter]

I have it. We are artists. We all have adhd.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm over here diagnosing myself every day with something new.

[Billy Porter]

I said to my trauma therapist about three months ago, maybe a bit more. I was like, do you think I'm adhd? And she did a spit take. She said, I thought she had just taken some water, drunk some water, and she did a spit take and was

[Ego Wodem]

like, billie, Billy, do I think you're adhd?

[Billy Porter]

You are the poster child.

[Ego Wodem]

I was like, okay, okay, fine. You know, I, I, I just. My friend told me she. Well, she let ChatGPT diagnose her recently,

[Billy Porter]

which is, we ain't doing ChatGPT no more right now.

[Ego Wodem]

Why are we not doing it now? I don't really do. I don't do it at all. But why? Tell me why.

[Billy Porter]

Because they fund ICE and Trump. We're boycotting them.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. And that is good to know. You hear? You heard it.

[Billy Porter]

Take it off the phone. There are other places.

[Ego Wodem]

There's an app for ChatGPT.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah, there's an app.

[Ego Wodem]

What year do I live in?

[Billy Porter]

What year? No more chat gbt. Go to other places until get their stuff together. Can we cuss on here?

[Ego Wodem]

You can cuss. You can do whatever till we get

[Billy Porter]

there, till they get their shit together.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay? You heard of, you know what to do, get off of there. You say there's other places. I'm so behind. I'm not gonna Google.

[Billy Porter]

I'm still on Google.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, me too. I Google everything.

[Billy Porter]

I'm still on Google.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm on Google as well.

[Billy Porter]

They're safe for the moment.

[Ego Wodem]

Are they though?

[Billy Porter]

I mean, is any.

[Ego Wodem]

Very few places are.

[Billy Porter]

And that's the hard part.

[Ego Wodem]

Exactly. Let's be honest about that.

[Billy Porter]

And that's the hard part about now. What does this, what does our activism look like in this new world order? You know, when I think about the old days, the Birmingham bus boycott was what, 18 months or something? Not one afternoon for no kings every four months, no shade.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

But like, we've become so. Our lives have become so convenient.

[Ego Wodem]

Our lives are very.

[Billy Porter]

That like, we don't even know what it's like to get up and go to a store anymore. And then the stores that are available. I was doing this the other day. The stores that are available. Well, where do I get a stepladder? Yeah, Target, Walmart or Amazon. Like, those are the. It's like, where do we even begin the process to try to extract ourselves from. From this billionaire takeover culture? It's very difficult.

[Ego Wodem]

It's challenging. And I thought you were gonna mention when you go to a store. Cause I'll go for like basic toiletries to CVS and everything's locked up. And then I gotta page the employee

[Billy Porter]

on the machine of thievery.

[Ego Wodem]

I know, but I'm like, but also it's cheaper labor, less people to have to be in loss prevention. And so I'm pushing the button. I'm pushing the button. But then so is everyone in every aisle. And it's just one man running around with a key. I feel very bad for them. And I'm like, this is not. I just wanted to pop in and get toothpaste. And now it's a 10 minute wait. Yes, an hour. An hour for some toothpaste. So then for convenience, you're like, or do I just get it on hummus on. I still haven't gotten toothpaste on Amazon,

[Billy Porter]

but I do not either.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, there's some things.

[Billy Porter]

I will get my Nespresso pods.

[Ego Wodem]

You like Nespresso pods? I don't drink coffee.

[Billy Porter]

You don't?

[Ego Wodem]

Not really. I've had it. Let me be clear. So if somebody sees me out in the wild with the coffee, be like that ordered coffee for me. I don't really drink it. Like it is rare because you don't need it. A Little bit of that. But also, I never wanted to be addicted to something, but now I think I'm addicted to matcha, which is the same thing. I know, but it started as a ritual, which I'm sure coffee did for people. Me on my high horse, I don't drink coffee. I don't drink coffee, but I do drink matcha every day.

[Billy Porter]

1.

[Ego Wodem]

This is a matcha right here, but it's mostly full. See, I'm not addicted to.

[Billy Porter]

I love it.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm not tweaking, but I. There's just certain things that I'm like, you know, I'm not going to. I'm not going to get that. That thing on. On the Internet. You got to go be with people.

[Billy Porter]

Right.

[Ego Wodem]

You understand?

[Billy Porter]

I like going to the store. I go to the grocery store.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

I do not get my groceries delivered.

[Ego Wodem]

I go every day.

[Billy Porter]

I want. I go almost every day because it's right down the street and I could order for. For a couple of days. I can buy for a couple of days as opposed to what I used to do where I came from, you know? You know, I learned how to cook from my grandmother, my mom, my great aunt. There were decades that I just really didn't know how to cook for more than. For less than 15 people.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

So I was always over buying and always overcooking. And then I found the. The. Hello, fresh.

[Ego Wodem]

I thought you were going to say blue apron. Okay. Yes.

[Billy Porter]

Blue apron. Hello, fresh. I've tried them all.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Billy Porter]

And now I understand. Oh, if I'm cooking for myself, this is the portion I need to buy. So I've learned how to buy the portions now for what I want to cook, But I always go. Unless I'm getting one of those boxes.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

I always go to the grocery store.

[Ego Wodem]

I stay in the grocery store on Sunday. I went twice on one day. I was there the day before and the day before that. And I was on the phone as I was approaching the checkout line, and I said to my friend, I'm like, I need to check out at the store. Yeah, I'm here all the time. I get off with her. And then the cashier was like, who rung me up earlier in the day, like, hours before. He was like, I'm here all the time, too. Shit. I was like, we should switch places. I should get paid to be here. I just be up here like, what else do I want?

[Billy Porter]

What else do I want in this moment?

[Ego Wodem]

In this moment? Because the grocery store is too close. But what I was going to say about the Coffee thing, right. Is that I bought an espresso machine for my guests, for my house guests, because all my house guests, everybody drinks coffee. So I'm like, I don't. I don't know how to make. I think I learned how to make it this in December. I think I know how to do a single cup. I don't know how to do the machine in the pot, the thing, and

[Billy Porter]

press that button for the espresso.

[Ego Wodem]

No, no. Nespresso is like a regular. Like a regular coffee coffee maker.

[Billy Porter]

Oh, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I don't know. But I got an espresso Black Friday sale. It was from Target, but it was also like 15. No, 10 years ago. 10 years ago, but got an espresso and no one wanted to drink. No one liked it. So I'm surprised you liked the Nespresso. Everyone was like, I'm gay.

[Billy Porter]

How long ago was this?

[Ego Wodem]

This was. Honestly, I'm gonna say more like 8ish years ago.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah. Nespresso is luxury, honey.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay?

[Billy Porter]

Nespresso will make you a luxury cup of coffee. You press that button, it's like somebody is at the coffee place doing the things, and the little foam comes out on top of it a little bit.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

It's rich, it's dark, it's flavorful.

[Ego Wodem]

I need to get new friends.

[Billy Porter]

I need to get new friends. They like that swill? They like that watered down swill. This is a real couple.

[Ego Wodem]

I should have told them about themselves. I got. I should have been like, you like that one?

[Billy Porter]

They probably like it now.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Okay. Because I. I was. I. I thought I had done something good with my Black Friday.

[Billy Porter]

You did do something good.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Billy Porter]

Just. And I will come over. Come over and have some of that Nespresso.

[Ego Wodem]

I got rid of it. I got rid of it.

[Billy Porter]

Are you kidding? No.

[Ego Wodem]

I was like, nobody's gonna drink it. I don't drink coffee, so. And now I have a whole matcha set up. I've been most excited about my. Yeah, I'm very excited. I have a electric kettle. I was doing old school kettle up until like a month and a half ago, but I decided to come to 2026 with the people.

[Billy Porter]

Very Nigerian again. You know what I'm talking about?

[Ego Wodem]

And I do know what you.

[Billy Porter]

I'm black, so Black American. We're very similar.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, we are. I mean, listen, I. I was packing. I was packing somewhere to go somewhere, and I had a friend over, and I had a bunch of suitcases, and this is in a New York City apartment, but I had them, like Tucked away in all kinds of places. And they were big ass suitcases. And my friend looked at me and said, and you just might be Nigerian. I am. I am. I am. You know what?

[Billy Porter]

100%.

[Ego Wodem]

100%. 100%.

[Billy Porter]

And the gorgeous face to prove it.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, thank you, Billy. Really. I have to ask you. I was supposed to ask you this so early. Who or what do you want to say thanks to?

[Billy Porter]

I want to say. Say thanks to God and the universe, whatever one believes in or doesn't believe in, for sparing my life and giving me more time. To do what I was put on this earth to do. You know, so many of us who are called, and I believe that being an artist is a calling. I came from the church, so I add ministry. This is my ministry. You know, I have watched so many of my heroes, you know, really burn out so early, and. Because it's a lot, and I'm grateful. Excuse me. Cut that out.

[Ego Wodem]

But you know what? This is an imperfect podcast, okay? I tell. We clear everything.

[Billy Porter]

Imperfect. Belching, imperfect.

[Ego Wodem]

Everyone does it, okay? We leave the coughs in the clearings of throat. I'm like, guys, this is real life over here, okay?

[Billy Porter]

You know, like I said, I've watched so many of my heroes burn out so early and way before I believed that they should have been finished. I also lived through the AIDS crisis. I'm 56 years old. You know, I came out in 1985, and we went straight to the front lines to fight for our lives. I've had a lot of loss in my life at very early ages, and I. I am so grateful to be alive. And that is my diabetes monitor. That's your diabetes monitor on this imperfect podcast.

[Ego Wodem]

It's an imperfect podcast. What is it?

[Billy Porter]

So could you bring me my purse, please?

[Ego Wodem]

Bring Billie.

[Billy Porter]

I can turn that phone off. This is Lasonia.

[Ego Wodem]

Lasonia. Okay. And that should not die. And then we'll keep that. We'll keep that. Me giving editing notes now so that I don't have to do them later.

[Billy Porter]

So y' all don't have to call me when you're editing.

[Ego Wodem]

We don't have to cut that all out. Just. Could you trim the moment down, make it seem like it was a quickie?

[Billy Porter]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. But please continue. Do you remember where you were?

[Billy Porter]

So I'm grateful that I have more time. I'm grateful for this last year that has been so challenging, and I've been working on the effects of it right now in terms of how much breaking down of my ego that I still have to Deal with. You know, I'm always on my self help my. You know, I'm always trying to make myself better spiritually and emotionally. And, you know, I never felt my age until now.

[Ego Wodem]

Where you feel like, oh, I'm 56. For real.

[Billy Porter]

I'm 56. You know, my whole brand is how fabulous I am and how elegant I am and all of those things. And one of those very specific things is that, you know, every so often I'll put on a pumpkin, a heel, a Rick Owens eight inch, eight and a half inch platform boot. And I can't do that right now. And to be faced with, ooh, okay, I'm good. And everything I'm feeling right now doesn't have anything to do with my. Nothing to do with anything but my ego. This is the next level of me breaking that down so that I can continue to be the vessel that I'm supposed to be.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. And it's beautiful that you recognize that. That that's what the process is right now. That's beautiful to recognize.

[Billy Porter]

Thank you. I'm about to do La Cage Auxiliary, okay. For encores at City center this June during Pride Month. And that musical, I realize I've been doing some work on it. I'm like, oh, you know, he's aging. He's an aging drag queen. He's not Lola from Kinky Boots. He's not in his prime. Mm. Like, there's space for that, too. You know what I mean? And I've had to go, oh, wow, okay. Okay. This is where I am. And it's great. It's actually great. You know, I was going, what am I gonna. Why am I playing another drag queen? I don't know that I. And I was not excited about it for a while. I was doing it because it's a dream role for me that I've had since I was younger, you know, back when they weren't casting black people in any of these kinds of classic pieces. And so once again, I'm getting, you know, from cabaret to this to. You know, I've had several moments where I've been able to realize these dreams, but I was like, drag queen. What am I? And then I went and did a vocal session to try to figure out what keys I'm gonna sing everything in. And the first line of my first song is, once again, I'm a little depressed at the tired old face that I see. It's like, oh, this is what I'm going through right now. This couldn't be more perfect right now. It couldn't be more perfect for me, for my healing, for my journey, but also to the world. Right now, this is a different Billy from what you've been used to.

[Ego Wodem]

Mm.

[Billy Porter]

This is different.

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[Humor Me Podcast Host]

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy not quite on Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier this week. My guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an acapella band with their between songs banter. Who's the worst singer in the group?

[Billy Porter]

The worst?

[Humor Me Podcast Host]

Yeah, Me.

[Billy Porter]

Is there anything to the idea that

[Humor Me Podcast Host]

because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge

[Billy Porter]

donation to the group? The Yarn Birds.

[Ego Wodem]

Right?

[Sports Slice Host]

That's the name.

[Humor Me Podcast Host]

The Harvard Yard. But they're open.

[Billy Porter]

You have a name suggestion?

[Ego Wodem]

We're open.

[Humor Me Podcast Host]

Since you guys are middle aged one erection. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.

[Billy Porter]

Humor Me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny.

[Sports Slice Host]

Last night, a blown call changed the game. This morning, the Internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happen. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source. The athletes themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions. The stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight reel. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the who live them. Listen to Sports slice on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slice Life 12 and the Tik Tok Podcast Network on TikTok.

[K. Gaines]

Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host and Your favorite therapist, K. Gaines. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking Trip Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing and we're still chasing it. And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people, scoreboard wise, life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross. Cause you find it important to be a good person while you're here on earth, or are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust for I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Care Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure and purpose on my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way. Open your free iHeartRadio app search learn the Hard Way and listen. Now,

[Ego Wodem]

Aside from older, how is this Billy different?

[Billy Porter]

Ooh, you asked the good questions.

[Ego Wodem]

I tried to eggo. But you, you're a good conversation.

[Billy Porter]

I feel like I'm even more present. I've always been present, but I'm even more present now. And I feel like the fight. For. You will see us. You will see us is just magical to me. It really is just lovely. It really, really is lovely. And so I want to continue to do that. It's not just about me, you know, I've had it. I got it all.

[Ego Wodem]

I have it.

[Billy Porter]

I have all the things that I've ever dreamed of and more, you know, I've already done it. Anytime I have, like that, you know, when we all have that twinge of, oh, I wanna. It's like, oh, wait, I already did it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah, I already did that. It's special.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it is special. It's cool because it's all part of your, I feel like part of your legacy. Yeah, right. Yeah, part of your legacy. And. And you said, though, that you've done it all. You've done all of it.

[Billy Porter]

Most all.

[Ego Wodem]

Most all. We're gonna get you that.

[Billy Porter]

O. Yeah. And I want my, you know, I want my television show that I write and direct and create and star in. I want my films, I want my, you know, plays. I want my musicals. I wrote a musical with Kurt Carr, gospel recording artist Kirk Carr. You know that I'm pushing up that hill like Sisyphus. You know, I have lots of projects in the. In the coffers that I've been working on for years, you know.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

Now is the time to get that done.

[Ego Wodem]

So what's making you uncomfortable now? What's. You feel very uncomfortable. What's so uncomfortable?

[Billy Porter]

Eggo, Billy.

[Ego Wodem]

Well, we gotta go on sub stack to get the real. So you're not gonna tell me or my.

[Billy Porter]

What's making me uncomfortable? Um,

[Ego Wodem]

The most uncomfortable.

[Billy Porter]

Well, I'll go from.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

How I. Where the uncomfortable started.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

Covid. Into two strikes. Into a really messy, nasty divorce for three years that just got over about two months ago. Finally. Where he got every. Almost every cent I ever worked for in my life. No, legally. And people ask me, me. How is that possible? How is it possible that Orangina is in office for the second time? Ask yourself that and then you'll understand why our legal system is trash, period.

[Ego Wodem]

You had a prenup.

[Billy Porter]

No, I. He was before anything.

[Ego Wodem]

So you're like, I didn't even know what that was. You don't have anything too. You're like, prenup for what?

[Billy Porter]

I didn't know what that was.

[Ego Wodem]

Did you know you were going to be great?

[Billy Porter]

Yes, but I didn't know what it. We just got. We just got the right to get married. Like, I didn't.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Billy Porter]

It never even crossed my mind.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. And presumably when you're getting married, you're like, this is my person.

[Billy Porter]

Right.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

And I will say, yeah, that Ryan Murphy, God bless him, met him and said, you need to get a post. Nut. Ooh. And I didn't.

[Ego Wodem]

You didn't do it.

[Billy Porter]

Cuz he saw it.

[Ego Wodem]

How many years before it was time to get divorced? Did Ryan call that

[Billy Porter]

four or five?

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, you had. He told you four years in advance.

[Billy Porter]

He met him one time and said, you need a post now,

[Ego Wodem]

Ryan. Be knowing.

[Billy Porter]

And then my mom died. That's really uncomfortable.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

That's really hard. You know, it's me and my sister and my mother was a very religious Pentecostal woman. Church God in Christ child.

[Ego Wodem]

Kojik Kojic. That's what it is. Maybe saying it wrong, but I know the cog. I never said it out loud.

[Billy Porter]

And when I came out to her as gay in the 80s, she didn't have a good response. She loved me. She didn't kick me out. I didn't get that. But she was afraid for my soul. Oh, you're going to hell. The same old. And she went from that all the way to a choosing me and choosing the LGBTQ community in Jesus name Through love, and told my sister and I on her deathbed to stand up, up in front of her casket and hold the people who. The church people who were her community for a long time and who were the traumatizers of our family, hold them accountable and tell them the truth, because they are wrong. I mean, it's so beautiful, and I miss her so much. And then sepsis, you know, I've never felt my age until right now. My whole body is what I use for my work, and there's a part of it that I can't use right now fully coming back. They don't know if it's going to be 100%. I can tell you right now it's about 85, 90%. The compartment syndrome destroyed all of the nerves in my foot. They're coming back. They're coming back. But I'll see, you know, a performance, you know, of me in kinky boots or a performance of me in something. And I'm, you know, it's uncomfortable to know that I can't do that right now.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

And I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that. That's an uncomfortable place because that was my superpower. And to feel like you've lost your superpower is uncomfortable. Like I said, to feel like you've lost your superpower is uncomfortable. Feelings are not always facts. And so I'm working myself through that right now. And it's uncomfortable in a good way. Like I said, it's uncomfortable in a good way because whatever grows from this, I've been planting these seeds my whole life. I plant seeds all the time. I never stop. I never stop dreaming. I never stop growing. I never stop expanding, and I never stop holding myself accountable. You know, right now I'm like, oh, this is my ego that I thought I had dealt with. And the ego is tricky. You know, I did that Mariah Carey thing, right? I love talking to you.

[Ego Wodem]

I did that, and I'm like, hanging on every word.

[Billy Porter]

So my first event back was the Grammys, and I was called to do a tribute to Mariah Carey for the Music Cares. They do it every year. And a few years ago, I did it for. This. My brain is still foggy.

[Ego Wodem]

I didn't even have sepsis, and my brain is.

[Billy Porter]

My brain is still foggy. I sang both sides now Joni Mitchell. And so they called me back to do this. And, you know, my fashion is my armor. My fashion is my weapon. My fashion is my politics. My fashion is my superpower. And it's based On a very specific thing. Very specific things. Non binary degendering of fashion. I wear what the fuck I want, right? And when I'm doing the non binary thing and leaning into the feminine part of it of me, the silhouette is this and then this. The train, right? When I'm in eight and a half inch Rick Owens platform pumps, it makes me about six, two. So that train catches the wind and just lays behind me like it should. I saw myself singing Always Be My Baby. And I remember I kept stepping on my train. I was like, why am I stepping on this train? And I looked at. When I finally looked at it, I was like, oh, my God, I'm in flats. It's not catching the air. It's bunching up under me. I look like the clothes are wearing me. That's never happened to me before in my life. Like, it was like, ugh, that's only me. Nobody else noticed it. And it's my ego. That's my ego. I get what it is, you know? And it's like, oh, my God, I'm about to do play a drag queen in a Broadway show and I'm gonna have to put on a kitten heel like Michelle Obama.

[Ego Wodem]

Let me say, I used to talk shit about kitten heels, but I love a kitten heel now. I'm sorry.

[Billy Porter]

You better get used to a kitten heel.

[Ego Wodem]

I know, I know. And you might just have to get used to a kitten heel. I used to talk so much shit about a kitten heel.

[Billy Porter]

I talk so much shit on a kitten heel.

[Ego Wodem]

Wear a flat or wear a heel, but not a kitten. And now I got like three pairs of kitten heels.

[Billy Porter]

I'm gonna have to go to broader and get them. Kidney heels.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, they're kind of cute.

[Billy Porter]

They are cute. And they. And it's still a heel.

[Ego Wodem]

It's still a heel.

[Billy Porter]

It's still elegant.

[Ego Wodem]

Even if it's an inch, It's a heel. I mean, I'm go two. You're gonna go two?

[Billy Porter]

I' ma go two. I can do two.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Okay.

[Billy Porter]

Right now.

[Ego Wodem]

Be careful.

[Billy Porter]

I know.

[Ego Wodem]

Take it easy.

[Billy Porter]

But like that part, like the image part, like, just really going. Okay. It's okay. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. Yeah, there's growth in this and I feel it happening all at once.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

You know?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Well, Billie, it's time for a segment I call that's Nice. But what about me? So that was cute or whatever. Okay, so that was cute or whatever.

[Billy Porter]

That was cute or whatever.

[Ego Wodem]

But we're gonna talk about me now. No, I Want to take the segment to say. Say thank you so much for sharing yourself with me today. Of course, listeners, for your vulnerability, for your honesty. I am so inspired by the way you're choosing to live, especially now after having been in the hospital and been dead for three days. Yes, I'm so.

[Billy Porter]

And for those of you who want to talk on my comments, talking about I'm being extra and not dead, look it up.

[Ego Wodem]

He was dead.

[Billy Porter]

Dead. I just had to say that. I just had to say that, you know, because it's not on a sound bite on social media.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Billy Porter]

It's on real press.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said.

[Billy Porter]

Let me say it here, you motherfuckers telling me what I went through.

[Ego Wodem]

And he said, motherfuckers. Not mfers.

[Billy Porter]

No.

[Ego Wodem]

Cause we're not the pulpit. This is a church. This isn't a church.

[Billy Porter]

No. Telling me what I went through. How very dare you. See, I have a sense of humor, too.

[Ego Wodem]

You do. But you know what? The thing is, I do want to ask you this about defending a quick. Give me, like, your fastest way to be. Like, I won't be defending myself against trolls. Because you still felt the need to say something here. And I resonate with that. Where you're like, I need to let you know. Why are you speaking on my situation. Come to the mic. Come to the mic.

[Billy Porter]

Tell me what you say.

[Ego Wodem]

What is, like, a good piece of advice. Cause I think a lot of people fall into that a troll conversation.

[Billy Porter]

Well, for me, I'm not doing it here. Here.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

I'm not doing it here.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Billy Porter]

I will address it here on the book and I'll address it sub stack

[Ego Wodem]

right here on the podcast on thanks, dad. With Ego Wodom.

[Billy Porter]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

And you have been Billy Porter.

[Billy Porter]

This is real. So y' all can hear the whole thing.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes, you can.

[Billy Porter]

Yes. I'm extra, and that's okay. Why are you not.

[Ego Wodem]

And you're not enough. All of the things I'm extra and you're not.

[Billy Porter]

All of the things I will. You know what I mean? Like, it's like.

[Ego Wodem]

Like.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Ego Wodem]

I do know what I mean.

[Billy Porter]

That's what I'm here.

[Ego Wodem]

I have to have you back on the podcast.

[Billy Porter]

Please have me back.

[Ego Wodem]

We have to do a part two.

[Billy Porter]

Please.

[Ego Wodem]

I wanna check in.

[Billy Porter]

Yes. Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

All right.

[Billy Porter]

Billy, I love you so much. I'll let you Other one. Well, you're gonna do this.

[Ego Wodem]

That was it. Because I wanted to just ask how you handled the trolls, but I don't handle.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah, that's. Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Billy Porter]

That's how I handle the trolls. Trolls. I handle the trolls. On. By living.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Billy Porter]

I keep living.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Billy Porter]

And I keep thriving.

[Ego Wodem]

And you do.

[Billy Porter]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And you really do. Yeah. Billy, I'm so glad you're alive. Thank you for coming back. This was pure delight. And okay, that was my talk with Bill. Billy Porter. How inspiring. I feel so inspired. And I was right. It's the coochie. It's usually the coochie. If you want advice from me and my next guest, you could have had advice from Billy Porter. If someone had called and told us some tea, you could have gotten advice from me and Billy Porter. And I think Billy would have given good advice. I just get this feeling. But anyway, if you Want advice, call 502-849-323-750-28493237. 502. Thanks. THX Dads. What a beautiful day. What a beautiful day. Please tune in next time. I love you. Next time. Bye.

[Billy Porter]

Bye.

[Ego Wodem]

Thanks, dad. Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.