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- [00:00]
A
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [00:02]
B
Guaranteed Human. I love my phone but not my carrier.
- [00:08]
A
What do I do?
- [00:09]
B
Well, there are 250 reasons to join T Mobile. Like what? You can keep your phone and your number and T Mobile helps pay it off up to $800 per line.
- [00:17]
A
So I wouldn't have to buy a new phone? Yep.
- [00:19]
B
Plus your plan price stays the same for 5 years on experience plans.
- [00:23]
A
Nice. Find your reason@t mobile.com
- [00:28]
B
via virtual prepaid guard card.
- [00:29]
A
Typically takes 15 days after rebate submission
- [00:31]
B
price guarantee on TalkText to 5G data exclusions like Texas and fees apply. Hey, Portlandia fans, Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life, guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised not just words, but a song about. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
- [01:32]
A
Okay, so today's introduction is kind of like a post introduction. So we're coming at the end of the episode because I fucked up in this episode. I fucked up. I didn't even introduce my next guest. We just were off to the races, me and this brilliant man and his brilliant mind. And I at the end of the episode was like, shit, I didn't even introduce you. I, if you can imagine, didn't even ask him who or what he wants to say thanks to. Will never. No spoiler. We're never going to know who or what my next guest wants to say thanks to. But I can tell you who my next guest is. I didn't do it in front of them, didn't do this beautiful intro in front of them, which would have been so delicious too. But anyway, I'm doing it now because that's what you as the listener deserve. That's what my guests deserved. And I demand justice. I fucked up and I'm the one who demanded justice. How's that for versatility? My next guest is an actor whose directorial debut titled Untitled Home Invasion Romance is streaming now on Hulu. My next Guest spoiler is Jason Biggs. We have a very good conversation that I think you would enjoy. I certainly enjoyed myself, if that is not obvious by the fact that I forgot to introduce him. We just, Were you ever just off to the races? We skipped all the small talk and we got, we got in there. You're going to enjoy it. I enjoyed it. Again. You're going to enjoy it or your money back, guaranteed. I heart will refund you for something. Submit a receipt for anything you've bought in the last 60 days and I heart will refund you if you don't like this conversation. They're not going to do that, but you will like this conversation. I feel really confident. Anyway, time for me to talk to Jason Biggs and you to watch and. Or listen, You know. Do you know the Gucci Mane song where he goes. I think the song is rolling. I had never done drugs.
- [03:39]
B
No.
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A
And still then I've had marijuana before and a mushroom chocolate.
- [03:45]
B
Is that really it?
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A
Is that really it?
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B
Yeah, yeah.
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A
Which is, Is that sad?
- [03:50]
B
No, no.
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A
Do you think I'm missing out?
- [03:54]
B
Drugs are fun. Drugs are fun. But, yeah, no, I mean, I, I kind of wish that I lived my life in a, in a more sort of chill manner to the point where it's like I, yeah, I could do it mushroom chocolate here or there or smoke a little weed and take it or leave it. I mean, is that kind of your attitude with it?
- [04:21]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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B
I, I, I'm the exact opposite.
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A
Okay.
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B
I'm a sober alcoholic and drug addict and I love drugs and alcohol.
- [04:30]
A
Okay.
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B
And I.
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A
Your face lit up.
- [04:33]
B
Yeah, I love them. Yeah, they're great. And they serve me well for a long time.
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A
Because they did serve you well, you must say. Okay, yeah, yeah.
- [04:40]
B
No, because, I mean, it was, you know, you, you, it was. Helped me. I did not want to be present and I did not. I wanted to ignore the, the bad and, and have fun and, and so, yeah, no, it was, There's a, you know, there's a reason people get, you know, into them.
- [05:01]
A
Yes.
- [05:01]
B
They're good. They're good. Do you have until they're terrible.
- [05:04]
A
Right. And that's like, when it's like too much because everything in moderation, they say.
- [05:08]
B
Right. That's what, that's what, that's what they say.
- [05:10]
A
They say. Who the, who are they?
- [05:12]
B
Who are they? Reve. I did not listen to them when I first partook of, of drugs and alcohol and I went, I went flying, rolling, if you will, in the other direction.
- [05:25]
A
Rolling Gucci Mane song.
- [05:27]
B
That's right.
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A
Which I thought he meant, like, are you coming with us?
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B
Right, you come with. You tag along. You tagging along? Oh, I'm tagging along. Yes, I sure am.
- [05:36]
A
For the longest time. I mean, 15 years later, I'm like, oh, that's what. And now all the verses of the song make a lot more sense. Do you have addicts in your family?
- [05:48]
B
Yeah, yeah. In. Not in the, you know, I think it's that, that part of the brain that sort of. That, that, that compulsive part of the brain that is sort of. I think there's a connection, whether it's food or shopping, all the addictive stuff. I'm sorry. Sorry. But there is a sorry. Hollywood's, Hollywood's calling.
- [06:13]
A
They literally don't ever call me. How do I get them to call me?
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B
I'll tell, I'll leave. I'll tell them. Please reach out.
- [06:19]
A
All right.
- [06:21]
B
No, I, I, yeah, there's. I mean, there's clearly like a connection, that part of the brain. I know people with food stuff and I even. I have, you know, for me, it's been whack a mole. Like I got rid of drugs and alcohol, but it pops up in other ways. I know my. Where one of my brain starts getting into that sort of space that could be a little bit dangerous. And it presents in different ways for me. But yeah, so I have people in my family, in my life that, that it has reared its head in different ways and at different points in their lives. So I recognize some of those tendencies in other people in my life, but I would say I'm the only person. I think that's not true. I have a sibling who is, who sort of dealt with it and addressed it and, but, but yeah, I'm kind of the, the one who's like, you know, gone 12 step program. And, and not to say that anyone else needs it, but my version of, of my addiction had gotten too extreme for me to be able to live my life in a way that, you know, I could be a good person. Parent, friend, etc.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Co worker. What have you.
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A
Yeah, you said that like, you can sense yourself when the compulsions are arising and you kind of know how to get ahead of it now. So beyond the 12 step program, what are other ways you sort of cope and keep yourself centered, grounded.
- [07:52]
B
It's a great question. I, yeah, friends, like, you know, like fellowship is the sort of the AA term, but like, it is, it's, you know, I first, I, I first tried to get sober my son is 12 and a half. So when my wife was pregnant with him, so over 13 years ago, and I. Part of the reason why I couldn't stay sober, I kept relapsing is I would go to the aa. I would go to meetings and stuff, but then I would never, first of all, I didn't, Yeah, I didn't like get a sponsor or do the steps or any of the sort of the quote unquote work. But also the biggest thing was I wouldn't hang out with anybody who, who was like minded or had. Was going through a similar thing. You know, I'd go to the meetings and people would come up to me and say hello and try to, you know, hey, let's hang out. You want my number? Whatever. But I was so like hat down, hood up, kind of in the back, you know, would leave before the very end. So I didn't have to engage with anybody. I was just very, you know, it was the same reason I, I, My drinking and drugging got so bad. Partly was because I isolate. That's, that was sort of my. Yeah, I would, I would just sort of retreat inward.
- [09:13]
A
Yeah.
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B
And I kept doing that even when I first tried to get sober. And so naturally I just continued to relapse and it didn't work for me. So. So, yeah, so call somebody. I call, you know, if I feel myself getting squirrely, you know, I'll, I'll call another alcoholic or even, even just a friend. Yeah, there's someone I can just get out of my own space, ask somebody else how they're doing. Let me hear your story. Tell me. Because you know what, perspective is important and like it, it's, it's just not all about me. That's the thing. When I'm drinking and drugging, it's just all about me.
- [09:45]
A
Yeah. Yeah. But it's easy.
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B
I don't care about anyone else or anything else. I just want to focus on myself.
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A
Yeah, it's easy to get in that space for I feel like even a non alcoholic. There's so much in, There's. Yeah. To isolate and to.
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B
Especially this day and age, especially now because we all have a new drug.
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A
Is it this drug?
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B
It is that drug.
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A
Hollywood is not calling me, but this drug.
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B
But it's still, there's still some highs you can get from that little device.
- [10:13]
A
It's true. I just moved my last night before bed. Have not gotten text notifications in, They've not been on, on my phone in probably, I'm gonna say 11 years.
- [10:24]
B
And is that all the Time ago or just at night, like you silently all the time. Wow.
- [10:28]
A
No. So, like, I.
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B
You have to go actively to your text message app to see. Oh, who's checking in.
- [10:34]
A
Yes. Like, I. The red bubble would give me anxiety. So, like, it's been 11 years, no notifications. But the problem is now I know I need to go to my text messaging app to see who's texted, and I can do that compulsively, right?
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B
Yes, of course.
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A
So, like, it really worked for a while. And then of course, my brain adjusted and is like, well, now we'll just be going to text. So last night it didn't even occur to me. I was like, you can move that text messaging app from the top left corner. It's the number one. I was like, I'm putting it on page four of my homepage. And then I'm going to this little notification center and saying, do not even suggest I open this. And while we're here, don't suggest I open Instagram either.
- [11:11]
B
And while we're also here, stop yelling at me. Yeah, phone.
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A
Yes.
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Tell me what to do.
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A
And then shaming me. I own you. Yeah. Imagine I bought you. You are supposed to serve me, and you're gonna shame me every Sunday and tell me your phone use this week.
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B
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're up 27% from last week. How is that possible?
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A
But I didn't. I didn't do this this week, and I didn't open that up this week. And I'm like, I didn't. Yeah, imagine this little shaming device we have. But I do think fellowship is so important, and it's something that I. It's so easy to forget and neglect. And again, because we have these devices and we all have the things that are. That we ruminate on. It's. It's so easy to isolate. But I find it really interesting. So tell me if I misinterpreted this moment. When you said fellowship, there was this kind of sort of like, indication from you, non verbally, that it's cheesy. That, like, the word is cheesy. Like, oh, that's what we say in a. Did you.
- [12:10]
B
Yeah, maybe a little bit. Yeah. And also I think I was cringing a little because I was trying to sort of get away from. Sort of give you an example that was separate from the program from AA and the program. And then. But the word fellowship is very program centric. So I was. I was like, oh, fellowship. But. But friendship. Friends.
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A
Yes.
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People. Other people. The idea being it's Just not all about you. And if you can give yourself, give your time to someone else and ask questions and you know, like, it's, it's doesn't have to be another alcoholic, you know, just like, get out of this. This is my. This is.
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A
Yeah.
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This wants to bring me down.
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A
It's so crazy. The little enemy inside you. Wild. And I. There's been times when I've been down myself and I go, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? And because I, you know, I'll probably shop impulsively and they make it way
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B
too easy on the easy.
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A
Way too easy. And Apple pay. The gamified paying for things. I'm like, that's real money. That's real.
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B
Wait, it is.
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A
Jason, you might be in a shit ton of debt.
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B
The Apple pay. Apple pay. That's like Monopoly money. It even has two peas. And Monopoly to Apple pay.
- [13:25]
A
Apple pay. No, it's real money. It's real money. That little thing like, that's money coming out of your bank account, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry to break this to you.
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B
It's okay.
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A
They make you. They make you forget. It's wild.
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B
But I really is crazy. And even the places they, they've taken my addiction to Instagram, for example, and they've layered in my addiction to shopping in there. They're like, you know, this guy's an addict. He's on me all the time. Instagram saying this. He's on me all the time. I bet you. Hey. Other drugs. Come here. Hey, come here, come here, come here.
- [14:01]
A
It's so true.
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B
You wanna. Hey. I bet you he'll shop on this. I bet you. You give him one little pop up ad. I bet you he'll buy it. I bet you this addict will buy it. Fuck yeah.
- [14:11]
A
And he does.
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B
Oh my God. I think I'm. Half of my outfit is Instagram.
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A
Instagram fed it to you. Well, it's funny because when you came in and this is no judgment and you were like, are those the Alaia ballet flats? I have to, I have to ask. How did you know?
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B
How did you know?
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A
Because I. I did grapple with. Get the Alaia ballet flats or get these stod. Are these.
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B
But, but they look great. I love, I love them.
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A
I just. I. Something about the construction shape is better for my foot. But.
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B
But they look awesome. What did you know about the Ally ballet flats? It's a great question. Yeah, well, I am married. I mean, I have, you know, a wife who, who. Who I believe also has a Pair of Alaia.
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A
Okay.
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B
I also have an appreciation for fashion. Like, I am not particularly fashionable, but I appreciate it. I certainly appreciate it. And I think I used to be something that I didn't fully understand or care about for the longest time. And again, current outfit doesn't.
- [15:17]
A
Well, we have Instagram to thank for the.
- [15:19]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do appreciate some of the nicer thing. You know, it's, It's. There are certain things I go, really? Who could spend on that? But then I've found myself, you know, like, indulging in certain, you know, pieces, wardrobe pieces. I'm like, oh, that actually is really cool. I do see it. It does make. I get it. I get it when you're wearing. And then people are like, well, just get the, like, you know, the other version thing. I'm like, yeah, but some, but it is, again, it's a, it's the psychology of branding and luxury that, like, sort of. But for me, I mean, I, I, yeah, I, I, you know, I still, I love a deal. Real real. Shout out real real.
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A
Shout out real real. This is from real real.
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B
There you go. Shout out real real.
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A
Yeah. Okay.
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B
Yeah. And, but, but yeah, I, I don't know. I just, I don't know why. I just also, like, I'm also kind of. I, I do say I'm. I will say that I'm hyper aware of, of stuff that happens, like in, in terms of trends and stuff. I'm fascinated by trends and, like, who's wearing what and why.
- [16:24]
A
Yeah.
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B
Not to say that I'm on. I'm always behind. Like, I'm personally in behind, but I'm, like, aware of it in pop culture.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And I've noticed that the Alaya ballet flats have been a really big thing, and I, and I happen to really like them. There are some, Some trends that I'm like, I don't get that one so much. I don't quite know why. Like, the, like the. Another one, seemingly currently, you tell me ago, is like the, the, the, the flip flop heel. The heel flip flop. You know, like the, the. How do you call it? The, the thong.
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A
Thong. Thong sandal.
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B
Thong sandals with the heel. With the heel.
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A
Okay. Okay.
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B
Do you know what I mean? Is that currently kind of a thing?
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A
It's a healed thong sandal.
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B
It's a heel. Thonged sandal that, like, you know, the, you know, that, you know, Yves St. Laurent has a pair or like, whoever, like the nicer. And I'm just like, I don't see it.
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A
You don't see it and. Okay, just so I can imagine it correctly, because I do.
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B
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not a trend. If you don't know about.
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A
I do a lot of online show. I do of it. So I've seen the. It's a high. I've seen the high heel. Elijah has one that's like a high.
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B
Maybe Elia has. I'm sure. I feel like it's a lot of people kind of have. Yeah.
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A
You don't like a heel? Thong, sandal. Why? What is your.
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B
I just don't like the silhouette for some reason. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's not aesthetically appealing to me.
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A
Do you.
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B
And I'm a foot guy.
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A
You're a foot. Are you on Wiki Feet a lot?
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B
I'm not.
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A
Lie, you liar. Guilty as fuck.
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B
I don't know.
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A
Have you ever looked at your Wikifeet rating?
- [17:52]
B
No, I'm honestly, I mean this. I'm not on Wikifeet, but I do need to. I'm gonna check it out.
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A
You're a foot guy. Do you kiss feet? Your wife's. Of course.
- [18:00]
B
Yeah.
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A
Your kids?
- [18:01]
B
Kids, yeah, of course.
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A
Like that baby make. That makes sense. It's. But like, you. You're into feet for real.
- [18:07]
B
I like. I appreciate feet. I think feet can be sexy. But I also think feet are. Oh, no, no, Shay, listen, you can't. I. No. No shame, no judgment. I bring it. You judge the fuck out of me. I don't care. No, but like, I. In the same way that I like good feet, I also am like, ooh, ooh, ooh.
- [18:28]
A
When you're walking around New York City
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B
and you close that toe. Close that toe. Shoe. You need some close toe shoes.
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A
You've thought this while walking past someone in the city. It seemed like, yeah, close toe.
- [18:42]
B
Yeah, like rock a close toe. It's time for you to start rocking clothes. Toe.
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A
How are your feet, by the way?
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B
They're okay.
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A
They're. They're good.
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B
They're not bad.
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A
Pedicures. Do you get pedicures? Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [18:50]
B
Oh, yeah. I'm a mani pedi guy.
- [18:52]
A
Oh, really?
- [18:52]
B
Love a mani.
- [18:53]
A
Mani as well.
- [18:54]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [18:55]
A
Clear polish, no polish, no polish.
- [18:58]
B
Manny less so.
- [18:59]
A
Okay.
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B
Because I can kind. I can do a fairly decent.
- [19:02]
A
Can I ask you something?
- [19:04]
B
You want to see my feet?
- [19:04]
A
I. No.
- [19:05]
B
Oh, sorry.
- [19:07]
A
Actually, but now that you've offered. Yes.
- [19:09]
B
Yeah, sure.
- [19:10]
A
He's offered.
- [19:11]
B
It's okay. They're okay.
- [19:12]
A
They're not like, put the toe down.
- [19:14]
B
They're not. They're fine.
- [19:17]
A
Yeah, no, they're. They're fine. I wouldn't see that foot and go, put it away.
- [19:21]
B
Right. But you wouldn't see it and go, that's a foot.
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A
I used to be a ballerina, so.
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B
Okay.
- [19:26]
A
You can imagine.
- [19:27]
B
Yeah, sure.
- [19:27]
A
Mine are a little. I think they're good for. I quit just in time.
- [19:31]
B
Okay. You know, I quit before permanent damage,
- [19:34]
A
but then I ran a half marathon, and that created its own damage.
- [19:37]
B
One half marathon with the training, the
- [19:40]
A
wrong size shoe, et cetera, and so whatever. But yes, your nails. What I wanted to see is if there was dirt under them.
- [19:47]
B
No, I keep those pretty short. Yeah, they're pretty short. I don't feel like there's dirt. Cavities.
- [19:54]
A
What's up, fam?
- [19:54]
B
I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'?
- [19:57]
A
All? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I heart women's sports because, let's be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Findler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline and the conversations that start during
- [20:25]
B
the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.
- [20:31]
A
Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat Sabalenka. Shout out to you, Naomi, you get the palm. Naomi, you get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it.
- [20:43]
B
Because everyone watches women's sports.
- [20:46]
A
Listen to everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
- [20:54]
B
Hey, Portlandia fans. Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia. AO rewatch our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a Good idea. We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's respons responsible, you're the problem.
- [22:11]
A
If you come over here to play games, I'mma check you, okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I' ma play you. Join Yamaneka Saunders as she breaks down the week's most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the Problem with Yamaneika. Do you know? I just found out who Sydney Sweeney was.
- [22:31]
B
New episodes weekly every Wednesday as part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network.
- [22:37]
A
If he got a bunch of women,
- [22:38]
B
then I should have a bunch of
- [22:40]
A
men do better or do less so
- [22:42]
B
I don't have to do so much. So join Yamaneika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem?
- [22:49]
A
I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to youo're the Problem with yamaneika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
- [23:02]
B
I'm Nick Turturro.
- [23:03]
A
You probably know me from NYPD Blue,
- [23:05]
B
the Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's blackkklansman.
- [23:08]
A
But I'm also from Queens, which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza from Prince Street Pizza to a new guest. Are you delivering pizzas now? Then we sit down for a real conversation. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins.
- [23:24]
B
What are you doing? My belt. To Alex Rodriguez.
- [23:26]
A
Just to let you people know, we're talking to one of the goats.
- [23:29]
B
Here. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody
- [23:32]
A
so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro.
- [23:40]
B
It's called Happiness. Delivering Happiness. Mariano Rivera, Biggie. What's up, brother?
- [23:45]
A
And many, many more. Open your free iHeartradio app.
- [23:48]
B
Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro.
- [23:50]
A
And listen, now I do wanna ask this dumbass question that I ask everybody. I find myself wanting to ask people in conversation while claiming I don't care or know anything about it. What is your sign?
- [24:02]
B
What is my sign? Yeah, I saw you ask Will Ferrell.
- [24:04]
A
I've asked everybody.
- [24:05]
B
Yeah, I see.
- [24:06]
A
I've saw, like, I don't know, but what's your sign?
- [24:08]
B
That's funny. When he was doing this, he was like this. And you're like, I don't know what?
- [24:13]
A
That it really wasn't coming to me,
- [24:14]
B
but I'm a Taurus.
- [24:16]
A
Oh, I'm scared of you.
- [24:17]
B
Are you?
- [24:18]
A
Because what are you? I'm a Pisces.
- [24:21]
B
Pisces. Okay, fish, Fish. I forget. The. The compatibility scenario you did, how was it?
- [24:28]
A
It went really poorly.
- [24:29]
B
Okay.
- [24:30]
A
Remarkably poorly, I guess. I've seen. I just watched a, like, crazy Netflix documentary called A Toxic Love Story. So I want to. Did you see that? Yeah, we got to talk. We're getting into that.
- [24:41]
B
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Toxic Love Story. Wait, no, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't. It's in my queue. That's, like, top of my list. What was the one? I watched the one. There was another. Okay, nevermind. No, I haven't seen it yet. Is it amazing?
- [24:55]
A
It's really good. It's really good. Here's the thing. If you've seen it, it's a little scary. But not like, don't watch it at night scary. Okay?
- [25:02]
B
Right, Yep.
- [25:02]
A
I mean, maybe don't watch it. I watched it on the morning on a train from Maryland to New York. Okay? So I couldn't have felt safer. And I happened to be next to a woman who is from Orange county, and the documentary takes place in Orange County. So I kept wanting to be like, ma', am. Kismet is that you just told me you're from Orange county and this crazy shit's taking place where you're from. But I say this. Why did I tell you this? Why did I tell you this? I could just.
- [25:28]
B
I think you were saying Taurus. You dated a Taurus? You want to date me?
- [25:32]
A
What's up? Okay. No. Is that I is perfect first not to reject you and go.
- [25:36]
B
Perfect first date, go.
- [25:39]
A
What is your perfect first date?
- [25:40]
B
Oh, God, I'm being chaotic.
- [25:42]
A
I had coffee, y'. All. He understands that I don't really drink coffee. Another thing I claim I don't really do, but every Episode. I'm like, I had coffee today. I don't think I have self awareness. Maybe I think I'm thinking about an old version of me.
- [25:59]
B
I'm like, actually, I do that sometimes too. I know what you mean by that. It's like you're kind of. You're like, oh, this is who I am. But then you realize that actually I haven't been that person in 10 years. Yeah, that happens a lot to me. Yes.
- [26:11]
A
It's crazy, but I was gonna say that it's gone so poorly. That relationship had gone so poorly. And I would say like crazy times. And then I watch a documentary like A toxic Love story. And I'm like, okay, actually I should have married. And then I'd be a star. And then Hollywood would call fucking finally and make a documentary about me and my awful relationship. There you go. What is your. What is your. Who do you get along with as a tourist in your experience?
- [26:42]
B
Good question. I know I have a. Virgos have been a weird thing presence in my life. Good and bad, just a lot of them. Some of the most heated, intense relationships in my life have been Virgos.
- [26:59]
A
Okay.
- [27:00]
B
For whatever that's worth. I haven't checked the charts and sort of under. I don't understand it. I can't analyze that. I can just tell you as a matter of, you know, anecdotally that I've had weird with Virgos.
- [27:12]
A
Okay. Okay.
- [27:13]
B
Or intense.
- [27:15]
A
Intense stuff.
- [27:18]
B
Memorable relationships.
- [27:20]
A
Beautiful way to put it.
- [27:21]
B
Yeah.
- [27:21]
A
Yeah.
- [27:22]
B
For better or for worse. And then I don't know, my wife was a Gemini and you know, there's Geminis have been in my life. Yeah. Actually quite a few Geminis.
- [27:34]
A
I have a lot of Geminis in my life too.
- [27:36]
B
You're with a Gemini?
- [27:37]
A
I'm with a Gemini, yeah.
- [27:38]
B
Dating, like dating.
- [27:39]
A
One of my closest friends is a Gemini. I know where my brother's a Gemini. I know people are kind of like when they hear Gemini, that's one of the signs people go, oh no, no, no, no.
- [27:48]
B
Yes. No.
- [27:49]
A
2.
- [27:49]
B
Yes.
- [27:50]
A
But I'm like, they're fine by me.
- [27:52]
B
I feel like Taurus is okay. I feel like most people. No, I feel like. Except for you. Except for you. I feel like I've mostly been accepted.
- [28:01]
A
Yeah. Really.
- [28:02]
B
But stubborn loyal stuff. And listen, what else?
- [28:06]
A
These are things.
- [28:06]
B
What bad things. Yeah.
- [28:07]
A
The stubborn can go double edged sword there, you know, like planting the flag and being unmovable. Not great. But I can be stubborn. So maybe me and a stubborn Taurus in a relationship. There you have it.
- [28:26]
B
Yeah.
- [28:26]
A
Maybe a big Problem.
- [28:27]
B
That's a problem.
- [28:28]
A
Yeah. But loyal. What a beautiful trait to have. May I ask what you think your worst quality is?
- [28:37]
B
No.
- [28:37]
A
Okay. All right, next question.
- [28:41]
B
My worst quality. God.
- [28:46]
A
Or what someone who really loves you, a parent might say. I'm assuming your parents really love you.
- [28:51]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they. They definitely love me. What's my. What's my. My worst quality?
- [28:59]
A
What they would say.
- [29:00]
B
What they would say. I mean, I. I can kind of. And it's. Again, it's something I've worked on, continue to work on, and I'm better about it in sobriety, but I can kind of fall off the map a little bit. I think my parents would especially that right now, my parents, you know, I'm going through a lot, but I think in general, my mom especially, I feel like all moms, though, to an extent, be like, where'd you go? I haven't heard from you. And I can definitely fall off. I can fall off the map, though. I get anxiety, even. Like, I was just. Instagram showed me my. My. My algorithm showed me a post about how, like, certain people even responding to text messages can feel really heavy. Like, it. Like anxiety inducing.
- [29:49]
A
It feels that way to me.
- [29:50]
B
Feels like a chore, Feels like a thing. And it was. This particular post was. Was the angle. The. The way it analyzed that. It was saying. Its theory was that for people who, you know, dealt with a lot of emotional, you know, weight growing up or historically have had, you know, trauma or any. Just pressure, lots of pressure, and that even responded that you just don't want to deal, and you put too much pressure on every little response and every. And you get, you know, I'll see like, one text message, and then a second one will come through, and there's a certain group of people that are like, oh, it's easy. Yeah, no problem.
- [30:35]
A
Whatever.
- [30:35]
B
And then there's others that just like, oh, God, I don't know how to respond. I'll get back to it. And then, like, a week goes by and I forget. And then the stress gets even more
- [30:46]
A
because you're like, it's been a week, and I'm.
- [30:47]
B
It's a text message. It's a fudgeing text message.
- [30:49]
A
Yeah.
- [30:50]
B
It's not even a phone call. I mean, forgetting a phone call. Forget it. I. You know. But again, this goes back to Fellowship, too, for me. It's like I need to. I need to force myself to pick up the phone and call. I need to force myself to respond. But there is some sort of, like, there is a real anxiety that can happen for me, even when it comes to just returning a text message, it's pretty wild. And. Yeah. Why did I get on that? Yeah. Because I could fall off the map. I could fall. That's one thing. I mean, listen, there's lots of things. I will say that one of my better traits, I think, which I was
- [31:24]
A
gonna ask, of course, is.
- [31:30]
B
Now especially trying to look inward and. And. And change the things, be open to changing the things about me that I don't like or other people don't like. And so I'm kind of even just currently in that process. You know, I'm. I'm. I'm. You know, why do certain relationships work and others don't? What is it about? I have some role in everything. We all have some role in everything. Right? And like, you know, my. Our couples therapists used to say all the time, it's like, it takes two people to fight. Like, there's no. A fight does not happen unless both of you participate. Someone might have started it, but you both engage. So what is your part in it? Another thing in AA is. Is, you know, is keeping your side of the street clean. That's one of those many AA expressions.
- [32:22]
A
Lawyer says that all the time.
- [32:23]
B
Keep your status. Is your lawyer sober?
- [32:25]
A
I don't know. No, no, I've had drinks with her. Well, that doesn't mean she's.
- [32:28]
B
But it is one of those. There's a lot of, like, AA expressions.
- [32:31]
A
Yeah.
- [32:31]
B
You. They're like, if you go into a meeting, there's a lot of the rooms will have. They'll be like on the wall. And you're like, oh, God, it's so cheesy. This. When you. When I first, I was like, oh, God, these. These little sayings are so cheesy and lame, but they're so spot on. Once you sort of, again, sort of give in, let go, and just sort of embrace it. And you go, oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You know, one of them is keeping your side of the street clean. It's like you can't control what other people do or say, how they act. You can control how you respond, how you move forward from there, how you act, what you say, and, you know, just taking accountability. And so I think for a long time, I did not want to take accountability for a long time. And I still. This is a habit that I still, I think, engage in, but I'm aware of it now. So it's kind of like. It's still a bad quality of mine is, yeah, I want to I want to point a finger. What did you do to me? How. You know, victim mentality. Right. Like, you know, even if it's my parents, my parents up.
- [33:33]
A
Sure.
- [33:34]
B
Right.
- [33:34]
A
They all do.
- [33:35]
B
But, like, I can continue to point the finger at them and continue to sort of blame them for reason, for things that I do and say now, but I'm 48 years old. That. That's really.
- [33:48]
A
I think it's time.
- [33:50]
B
A certain point I have to, you know, to. And also, as a parent now, I also, you know, there is, of course, bit of like, you know, we're all gonna fuck up, and there is an element of, you do the best that you can, and maybe your best wasn't that great. Maybe my best will be better. But, like, yeah, you weren't trying to hurt me. Yeah, try to. You didn't consciously make a decision to say, this is gonna hurt that person. But, yeah. So anyway, so taking accountability, I. I had a hard time doing that, you know, and. And I was quick to blame other people. And I think that's still. That's still something I instinctively go to do. But I'm better at saying, hold on, I must have. What is my part in this?
- [34:34]
A
Yeah.
- [34:34]
B
Also because blaming is just. It's like, yeah, I'm just realizing more and more, like, I. I've got to own my own. No one's. I, I. Yeah.
- [34:44]
A
Yeah.
- [34:45]
B
It doesn't get me anywhere.
- [34:46]
A
Sure.
- [34:47]
B
It hasn't gotten me anywhere.
- [34:48]
A
Yeah.
- [34:48]
B
Resentment. And it leads to resentment. I resent you because I feel like this is your fault. You did this to me. Why didn't you help me? Why didn't you do this for me? Why you do this to me? And it's like, resentment. Another great AA expression.
- [35:02]
A
Okay.
- [35:03]
B
Resentment. To me, having resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I'm like, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Another resentment saying that I love.
- [35:16]
A
Please, please.
- [35:17]
B
Expectations are resentments under construction.
- [35:21]
A
That one I haven't heard. And I'm gonna put that in my back pocket. That's a good one. That's really.
- [35:27]
B
Expectations can kill you. It's like, you know what? I. Yeah, my. My wife and I. That was a big one for us.
- [35:36]
A
Yeah.
- [35:37]
B
Wow.
- [35:37]
A
Wow.
- [35:38]
B
Like, I think you're. You kind of have a preconceived. You're like, this is what he. Or what she should do in this situation. Or I'm going to say something, and I know what they should say to me to make me feel better, or I know how they should react based on what they tell them. And when that doesn't happen, you go, what? What? What? That's not how it's like. Well, that's. Why did you expect her to respond differently the way you would have responded? You're not her.
- [36:05]
A
Imagine. Imagine understanding that everyone is their own person and having their own experience and coming at any given experience with all of their stuff. Yeah, imagine.
- [36:15]
B
Imagine that they don't really teach you.
- [36:17]
A
You learn it, hopefully, as you grow up. But I'm like, that'll be useful. Teach me that and how to balance a checkbook in school.
- [36:24]
B
Yes, totally.
- [36:26]
A
What did Pythagorean theorem.
- [36:29]
B
Pythagoras. That clown.
- [36:30]
A
Who the fuck I care?
- [36:33]
B
Edward Pythagoras. Is that his name?
- [36:36]
A
Edward?
- [36:36]
B
Charlie.
- [36:37]
A
Charlie Marshall Pythagoras iii. Honey, fuck you.
- [36:43]
B
A squared plus B squared equals C squared. And so what equals F U to the second power?
- [36:51]
A
Because.
- [36:52]
B
What the fuck?
- [36:53]
A
That's not useful.
- [36:54]
B
Nope.
- [36:54]
A
It's not really useful.
- [36:55]
B
Respectfully now, I will say, when I learned the path Pythagorean theorem in whatever. High school.
- [37:02]
A
Yeah.
- [37:03]
B
I remember sitting there thinking, one day I'm gonna be on a podcast and make a Pythagoras joke. I remember thinking that. So here we are. Here we are.
- [37:14]
A
I'm glad to give you.
- [37:15]
B
Oh, no, this isn't the pocket. No, I did it on a different podcast. Yeah, this is my second Pythagoras joke.
- [37:19]
A
That. This is the second. Well, that's offensive to me. I was hoping to be the first.
- [37:22]
B
No, sorry. All my materials. Recycled.
- [37:25]
A
This is recycled. Has everyone heard you say everything you said today?
- [37:28]
B
Yes, yes.
- [37:28]
A
Even the Elijah shoe thing? Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [37:30]
B
Oh, 100.
- [37:30]
A
Okay. Okay. Well, let me think of something original. You. The expectations thing. Makes me wonder, are you good at expressing your needs?
- [37:40]
B
No, that's also a. Yeah, no, I historically know. Okay, Getting better.
- [37:46]
A
Gotcha.
- [37:47]
B
But no, I. I am. I always felt like I needed to take care of other people and, you know, I was secondary. And so, yeah, no, I was afraid. Didn't want to ruffle feathers, you know, and. Yeah, just how I grew up. There were other people that needed tending to and taking care of. And so that was the shift for me at some point. And the priority and my own needs kind of, you know, but then, you know, then I would rebel and. And act out and, you know, went through a period of. Of. Yeah, it's me. I can do whatever I want. I should take care of myself. But then I didn't take care of myself properly, you know, whether it was drugs and alcohol Whatever it was, I acted out thinking, yeah, me and I became selfish, but in a self destructive way. But yeah, definitely have a hard time just sort of. And asking for help in general, you know. Yeah. My own needs. Asking for help. That's always something I struggle with.
- [38:57]
A
Yeah. It's such a tough thing to balance though, because I feel like so much of what even I see on Instagram, online, whatever, whatever is about, like asserting your boundaries, using your voice, taking care of yourself first. You can't pour from an empty cup and you're like, what's the equation? Pythagoras helped me with this of like taking care of yourself versus putting other people first.
- [39:17]
B
Or like when you talk, what is the balance? What is the ratio? How do you feel?
- [39:21]
A
I like math. I'm like, literally, someone give me the equation.
- [39:23]
B
Yeah. What's the formula? Yeah, I'll punch in the numbers.
- [39:26]
A
Yeah. But it's a hard thing to sort of figure out and so like, obviously it sounds like you are. Give yourself grace for that. Because I'm like, it's hard. It's hard. Where do you fall in the sibling lineup?
- [39:38]
B
I'm middle child. Only boy.
- [39:39]
A
Okay.
- [39:40]
B
Older sister, younger sister.
- [39:41]
A
Is it crazy if I tell you I could have maybe guessed middle child?
- [39:45]
B
No, I should have had you guess. But I'll believe you.
- [39:48]
A
I know it sounds like bullshit now.
- [39:50]
B
It does.
- [39:50]
A
But I believe what you described.
- [39:53]
B
Let's do this again. Cut that part out.
- [39:55]
A
We'll cut that part out. Okay.
- [39:56]
B
Hey, Jason.
- [39:58]
A
So where do you fall in the sibling lineup?
- [40:02]
B
Where do you think? I do.
- [40:03]
A
I think you're a middle child.
- [40:05]
B
Okay, tell me now.
- [40:07]
A
Doing a bad job. Being fake.
- [40:09]
B
I think you are.
- [40:13]
A
I don't know where I came up with this, but I promise.
- [40:16]
B
Middle.
- [40:17]
A
I don't know where. A sister, brother situation.
- [40:21]
B
No, close. Okay. Sister and sis. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Holy. You're good.
- [40:29]
A
It's Pisces.
- [40:30]
B
We're a little psychic.
- [40:31]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Pisces.
- [40:34]
B
Yep. Yeah, yeah. Middle. Middle child. Why would. Why the. Did you sense that?
- [40:39]
A
Because when you said other people needed tending too, and I wasn't necessarily getting. I have a friend who's also a middle child and he's not. This is. This feels like very stereotypical in a sense. Middle child experience, if you will, is like, I'm kind of forgotten in some ways and we're focused on other things and people think I can just like handle it and are not thinking to tend to me. So I know to be just like, like quiet and we're Focusing on other people. Older sibling, younger siblings. I'm just kind of here. I'm the youngest, so I'm sorry.
- [41:15]
B
You got all the attention in the world.
- [41:17]
A
I was everybody's child. Yeah. And it shows how.
- [41:20]
B
How many of.
- [41:21]
A
I'm one of four.
- [41:22]
B
Okay. And what's the girl?
- [41:24]
A
Boy. Yep. Boy, Girl. Boy, Girl. Yeah.
- [41:30]
B
All right.
- [41:30]
A
And. And I think that I. I think in so many ways I am like the youngest. Yeah.
- [41:35]
B
What about your sister? How does she. How you and her get along?
- [41:42]
A
We do. And we're so different. Yeah, we're really, really different, my sister and I. My sister's easygoing.
- [41:49]
B
Yeah.
- [41:49]
A
I am not.
- [41:50]
B
Okay.
- [41:51]
A
Easygoing.
- [41:51]
B
Okay.
- [41:52]
A
Do you like that self awareness?
- [41:54]
B
I do.
- [41:54]
A
Okay.
- [41:54]
B
Any self awareness.
- [41:55]
A
I wanted someone to compliment me for being so self aware about something. Thank you. And also to be like, here's a modest. Here's an unbecoming thing of me. It is tr. I was describing her yesterday to someone and I was like, I've always maintained she's easygoing. And all these years later she's, yeah, my sister is easy going. Kind of also, like a touch of glib, unaffected, unbothered.
- [42:18]
B
Kind of great.
- [42:18]
A
It is kind of nice.
- [42:20]
B
Kind of nice.
- [42:21]
A
So I go, do you ever emote? She does emote, but she does. But she and I are just remarkably different. And she, like, graduated high school when she was 16 and like, has lived, gone and seen the world, in a sense, but very cool. And she, like, loves school. She, like, loves to be in school. She has 200 degrees now she's working at a school. I am like.
- [42:44]
B
You patented the trademark. You Pythagoras.
- [42:47]
A
Yeah, exactly.
- [42:48]
B
So we know where you stand.
- [42:50]
A
You understand, right? Not. Not. I was, you know, people should go to school, stay in school, finish school. I do think it's helpful, however, I'm like, when I can be done with it, I wanna be done. And she'd be like, you know what? I'm gonna go get a 15th degree. Cause actually I'm curious about this thing. And I'm like, I'd take a class outside.
- [43:08]
B
I'll read an article.
- [43:09]
A
Yeah. And call myself an expert.
- [43:11]
B
Yeah, exactly. I'll wikifeet that.
- [43:13]
A
You know what I'll do, Jason? I'll read the title of an article and be like, you know, I read
- [43:17]
B
this thing, by the way. Yep.
- [43:20]
A
I'm like, I didn't click it, but I read the title and I got it all.
- [43:24]
B
It was in my eyes. It scrolled past my eyes for a second.
- [43:27]
A
Do you ever go like, I heard and it's like about a restaurant or a story, and it's really that you just read it online and you'll say, you heard, as though like a friend told you. Of course that makes me feel better about the fact that I do that.
- [43:38]
B
Of course.
- [43:39]
A
And in terms of relationship with.
- [43:41]
B
I'll tell you one thing I hate about myself. Sorry, real quick, you know, and I. Okay, no, no, no. I do this too. I'll do this sometimes. And I immediately. And I've gotten much better about this. Where someone will be like, did you. I mean, I almost did it with you, but that was because I really thought. But like, where someone's like, anyway, I've read this thing. Oh, I read that. And then I'm like, like, I didn't read that. I didn't read that. Do I. Do I pull the rip cord now and say, no, I didn't read that? Or do I just, nah, fuck it, go along with it and hope that this person I'm engaged with right now doesn't actually start getting specific?
- [44:09]
A
Yeah.
- [44:09]
B
You know what I mean?
- [44:10]
A
Yes.
- [44:10]
B
Because then if I say, oh, no, actually, I didn't read that. Then they might think, oh, why did you say you read that? Were you like, were you just trying it? Were you faking? Were you ready? And I kind of did it with you. But that was a. Cause I've just watched two docs and what was the. The, the. The car crash one with the teenagers?
- [44:27]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [44:27]
B
Yes, the crash.
- [44:28]
A
Mackenzie. Shrilla. Mackenzie. Sh. Yeah, I saw.
- [44:31]
B
Watch that one. And then there was another one that I watched.
- [44:34]
A
Not just shout her out. I don't like.
- [44:36]
B
Yeah, Mackenzie. What's up? Mackenzie. Oh, no, sorry, sorry. Oh, bad, bad be bad. You Mackenzie and P. Yeah, exactly.
- [44:45]
A
They're on the same list. But now you're making her famous.
- [44:47]
B
Sorry, you are. This is your podcast. I'm making anyone famous. Wait, can you make people famous on this podcast?
- [44:54]
A
I can, I can,
- [44:58]
B
but I need another little, little thing.
- [45:00]
A
Okay, wait, so wait, which.
- [45:01]
B
The crash in what one was about a relationship. That's why I'm like, was it. But it wasn't toxic because that just came out like last week.
- [45:08]
A
It was about a healthy relationship.
- [45:09]
B
This is definitely not a.
- [45:12]
A
They made a documentary about a healthy relationship.
- [45:15]
B
It was so boring. It sucked. It was terrible. It was like six parts.
- [45:20]
A
A healthy relationship is low key boring.
- [45:22]
B
Which is.
- [45:24]
A
Yeah, it's a good thing. When it's bored.
- [45:26]
B
It's hilarious. It's about a happy relationship. It was the worst. Wanna watch that?
- [45:31]
A
I don't wanna watch that. No, give me. Someone killed someone. Someone lied about something.
- [45:37]
B
I may have. Honestly, I may have to check my Netflix.
- [45:39]
A
Okay, you're true. Okay, see, they need. Our brains are broken.
- [45:43]
B
I don't need to remember because it's right there.
- [45:45]
A
It's right there. Jason, what time is it? Don't say say how long we've been going because they didn't start the timer for me. Oh, I'll waste your time.
- [45:54]
B
It's 11 o'. Clock.
- [45:56]
A
Say the time.
- [45:56]
B
Sorry. What? Sorry. You said don't.
- [45:58]
A
We're cutting that out.
- [45:59]
B
Cut that out.
- [45:59]
A
Everything. We have to start over.
- [46:02]
B
Hey, thanks for having me on today.
- [46:04]
A
I'm so glad you could do this. I heard you were at dinner last night with someone.
- [46:08]
B
Justin.
- [46:09]
A
Justin Bartha. Tiny world.
- [46:12]
B
Yeah. And you were with Leah, his wife. Crazy.
- [46:15]
A
Incredible. Crazy.
- [46:16]
B
Where'd you guys go?
- [46:17]
A
We went to a place called. We're really starting.
- [46:20]
B
Actually I really do want to know where you went.
- [46:21]
A
Lavara.
- [46:22]
B
In Brooklyn.
- [46:23]
A
In Brooklyn? Have you been?
- [46:24]
B
No, it was really. Are you in Brooklyn?
- [46:26]
A
I am in Brooklyn.
- [46:26]
B
Yeah.
- [46:27]
A
Yeah. I'm in fake Brooklyn, but I'm in Brooklyn. And you know what I mean by fake Brooklyn.
- [46:30]
B
I think I know what you mean.
- [46:31]
A
Yeah, exactly. We won't say the exact. But you know what I'm talking.
- [46:34]
B
I think I know where you are.
- [46:35]
A
You know where I live?
- [46:36]
B
I'm. Yeah. Justin came to me yesterday.
- [46:39]
A
Okay. And are you in.
- [46:40]
B
I'm downtown Manhattan.
- [46:41]
A
You're downtown Manhattan?
- [46:42]
B
Yeah.
- [46:42]
A
Okay. Where did you guys go? Because I'm supposed to find a restaurant for a friend and I. For tomorrow.
- [46:46]
B
For tomorrow. We went to a place called Graciela which is in the West Village. It is a Argentinian chef who has a restaurant in Buenos Aires. His only other restaurant, Don Julio, which was at one point in the top 10 restaurant world's 50 best restaurants in the world.
- [47:03]
A
Okay.
- [47:04]
B
And he. This is his first restaurant outside of Buenos Aires and steak meat based. But there's other. We had a branzino last night that was amazing. And. Yeah. And it's. It just open as it's really fun and good.
- [47:18]
A
It was good. It was a good. Okay.
- [47:20]
B
Yeah.
- [47:20]
A
It was a good one to keep in my back pocket. Also there's a couple things my pockets are full.
- [47:25]
B
Yeah.
- [47:25]
A
I can't keep.
- [47:26]
B
Oh. From this conversation.
- [47:27]
A
Yeah. Little things I'm putting in my little nuggets. A little nugget here. A little nugget. When I get hungry, I just pull it out, nibble on it. Not too much. Are you a food guy?
- [47:37]
B
I am a food guy.
- [47:38]
A
Yeah, in that. Yes, you eat it. I eat it, but you care about it.
- [47:43]
B
I spend my money on it.
- [47:45]
A
Me too.
- [47:45]
B
Like, I, I. That is one of my luxuries in life.
- [47:49]
A
I know.
- [47:50]
B
And I. And I particularly, once I quit drinking. God, can I talk anymore? This isn't even like a sober podcast. And all I feel like everything I'm talking about is sobriety.
- [47:59]
A
But, Jason, why do we? Why do we.
- [48:01]
B
I'm gonna start drinking again.
- [48:02]
A
Shut up.
- [48:02]
B
No, because this way it's not all gonna be all about myself shouted out.
- [48:05]
A
Mackenzie Shrilla, you're gonna start drinking again. We have to can the episode.
- [48:10]
B
No, this is crazy. No, this is a time capsule of the beginning of the end. For Jason Biggs, it all started here.
- [48:17]
A
I make people famous, but I also ruin your fucking life. Yeah. No, here's the thing. I'm so curious. Maybe you have this answer. You seem philosophical. Why do we, like, I kind of asked it with the whole fellowship of it all, when that came up, why are we so cringe about ourselves? What is that like? Cause you're like, oh, I'm talking about sobriety. We keep finding ourselves organically there. I'm fine with it. I'm getting nuggets.
- [48:43]
B
Why do I apologize for judging you?
- [48:45]
A
Yeah, but I'm not judging you. Like, all kinds of being like, oh, no, I'm talking, like, about myself. These people don't want to hear me talk about me. I didn't bring you on to talk about me. Even when you asked me a question, I was gonna be like, now, Jason,
- [48:57]
B
I do have a tendency to do that when I'm a guest on things. I'm like, I have a question for
- [49:01]
A
you, which is fair, and I allow one or two. But.
- [49:05]
B
But, but have I hit my quota?
- [49:07]
A
You've. You got one left. But I think you shouldn't use it because I'm finding this interesting. I want to know what do you think this is about Humans that were just, like, cringe.
- [49:18]
B
Yeah. I mean, I. Again, one of the things I. I do. And this kind of connects maybe to needs and not taking care of myself and who. How is everyone else is like that hyper awareness and hypersensitivity to how other people are and making sure their comfort levels are where be as opposed to my own. I can deal with my own discomfort because that's what I do. And so making sure everyone's okay. So this need to apologize for myself, I've always had it. Something I'm working on. It's not a great quality. It Is and it isn't. It can be.
- [49:50]
A
Yeah.
- [49:51]
B
Particularly as it helped me survive to survive growing up. But, like, yeah, ultimately, I still do Apollo. I'm still like, oh, I'm sorry, should I not be talking about, you know, whether it presents in different weird ways? And I guess it just did by me going, oh, am I talking too much about sobriety? So I'm just, you know, obviously I'm. I'm still insecure. I mean, I, I, you know, in some. Some regards, I'm very confident and know myself fairly well and. And know what I'm good at and know my limitations. And in other senses, I'm just. Still just an insecure. Yes.
- [50:27]
A
No, you're an insecure. I want you to finish.
- [50:29]
B
Yeah, just. I'm insecure and worried about what other people think.
- [50:32]
A
So what you just described to me is a human. He's but a human. Now, mind you, I can sit on my little. Is this real leather? It's not someone confidently being like, no, honey, it's plastic. I can sit on my little plastic chair and say that to you with full confidence. Now, mind you, I hold myself to an insane standard. Standard. So human interaction, Right. I don't know. That's what I'm like. I thought you might have an answer about why we all do that thing, because it's not just you.
- [51:09]
B
What do you mean to a high standard? What's the standard? You.
- [51:11]
A
You. It's almost like you. Perfectionism. Perfectionism and perfection. Perfection is not real. Except for low key. When it is real, you see it like, oh, those things. I went to put tape on the wall and it perfectly lined up. It is real. So I don't know that we can deny it, but maybe it's not the coolest thing to pursue.
- [51:33]
B
I'll tell you what.
- [51:34]
A
Yeah.
- [51:35]
B
My theory on perfection is you could pursue it. Just be prepared to maybe never get there. Like. Yeah, like, look at the. I have such a respect for, like, Japanese artisans. You ever been to Japan?
- [51:55]
A
I haven't. My sister just came back and told me I would love it, and I know that I would. It's on my list.
- [52:01]
B
The thing about. They have trades people, craftspeople, chefs, all kinds of industry where they get incredibly specific with what they do a person does. You hear. We'd say it's so niche. Oh, my God. But there, it's like no one person does this task and will spend his or her entire life doing that one thing. And ultimately, you know, you spend that much time and dedication in the pursuit of perfection, you get damn Good at it. You know, I think there's something to be said for that. But also knowing that you're supposed to fail. My issue with perfectionism is or has been. I expect it. I expect to get there right away. And so as a result, I fear failure big time. And I started, I started acting when I was a little kid. I was five years old when I started acting. And so I had tons of failure when I was a kid, but I was a kid. So when, when you're a kid, dealing with failure, it's a lot different now. Yeah, I mean, I probably dealt with rejection and had conversations about I got fired from a job when I was, you know, like when I was a teenager. I was in the office of the executive producer who was firing me. I was 14. Being fired from. That's like a head. That's, that's not something a 14 year old I feel like, like deals with usually, but. And dealing with all that rejection and failure as a kid has certainly prepared me as an adult, I guess. But also it has made me very clear and I think a not a good way or made me think I'm clear about what I can and can't do. And so what I think I can't do, I don't even pursue anymore. And what I can do, what I've achieved success in since I was, was a little kid. Yeah, like, that's the thing I'm good at. I'll keep doing that. And you know, I finally directed. I've always wanted to direct. I finally directed a movie two years ago. I'm 48, so I was 46 years old and I had had other opportunities and also I, you know, just sort of never really pursued it. I wasn't really proactive about it until the last couple years of my life because I was afraid. Yeah, I was like, oh, I know what I can do as an actor. I've achieved some great success as an actor and even acting. I'm like, you know, I, I did a lot of dramatic work before American Pie, so I've always felt like I can do drama. But even still, once I hit with American Pie and that success happened and
- [54:38]
A
I continued from American Pie, it just clicked for me.
- [54:43]
B
No, no, no, no. I, I'm. No, no, no, I wasn't in American Pie.
- [54:47]
A
Yeah, okay.
- [54:48]
B
No, no, I'm, I'm not in it. This was something. I'm talking about rejection. I auditioned for it. I didn't get it. No, I'm kidding. I'm with you. I'm with you back a Jason, Mirror medicine. Here's some medicine.
- [55:06]
A
I'll put it in my pocket later. Okay? I'm sorry. Can you.
- [55:10]
B
That was very funny.
- [55:12]
A
It was bad.
- [55:13]
B
That was good. Except that people there are going to be like, oh, God, she really doesn't know. And he's really thinks. She doesn't know.
- [55:18]
A
You were making such a good point. And someone is going to comment. She should have let him finish. So please finish.
- [55:22]
B
I don't remember now, stop.
- [55:23]
A
Don't do that.
- [55:24]
B
You do remember what I was saying, so.
- [55:26]
A
Jason, I will not let you. I was interrupted.
- [55:29]
B
I don't remember.
- [55:32]
A
I will not let you leave.
- [55:34]
B
Okay, so.
- [55:35]
A
Okay, sorry.
- [55:36]
B
What I was saying was I. But even so, once American Pie hit and once I did a bunch of those similar kind of comedies in the years after American Pie, you know, I. You. You kind of. It's easy to sort of go, ah, that's what I'm. That's what I'm good at. And I. And. And so you get more reluctant to actively pursue things that are different. Not everyone. I mean, you know, Heath ledger hits with 10 Things I Hate about you, and immediately is like, I'm not doing that movie ever again. I want to do this.
- [56:12]
A
Yeah.
- [56:12]
B
You know, and he's like, I know what I can do. And he went and did it. I'm not comparing myself to Heath Ledger. In fact, the opposite. I was like, oh, good, I'm good at comedy. I'll just keep doing comedy.
- [56:20]
A
Yeah.
- [56:20]
B
But I also can do drama, you know, And I just never. But the directing thing was always something. As a little kid, when I was on sets, I was like, that's really good. I would pay attention. I would try to, like, learn and. And just fascinated me. And I. There's an. I came across an interview, like a magazine or a newspaper clipping article recently that I had saved or my mom. It was at my mom's house. And it. And it. It was from when I was 12. And they asked what I wanted to do when I grow up. I was like, I want to direct. And. But yet, at some point along the way, I achieved all this success as an actor and I got afraid to do anything else. I didn't want to pursue directing because what if I failed? Like, I don't want to be. Fall flat on my face like, what if I'm not good? What if I end up not being good? What if it doesn't work? What. You know, it's like. And so I fear is that thing. And it's like, listen, you're not going to Be a perfect director. I'm not going to be. I'm not going to make a perfect movie. Certainly not out of the gate, may probably ever. But like, just do it, like. But it's that fear of not. Not being perfect right away. But I don't think as a rule in general that perfection is something you shouldn't or can't strive for. You just have to be aware that you're probably not going to get it and that's okay. I don't know. That's my.
- [57:44]
A
That's good, though. I like that. Because you don't deny its existence. And it's not a bad thing to strive for it inherently. It's not bad.
- [57:51]
B
Yeah. And also, like the learning from the mistakes and also just the. For me, once I finally did direct this movie, one of the biggest lessons, of course, was just taking the leap and overcoming a fear and just doing it and being open and going into it. You know, I thought I had to get into the set and I had to as a director and I had to know everything already. You know, Like, I. I needed to have all the answers, right. They're going to come to me with questions. I need to have all the answers. I didn't have to have all the answers. In fact, there were. Were people on that set who were much more capable than I was at specific things. And so it is about asking for help. And again, asking for help.
- [58:33]
A
Yeah.
- [58:33]
B
It's such a big thing.
- [58:36]
A
All the little tidbits of it mirror
- [58:38]
B
the big things on how much my per. My personal life affects my work and vice versa. It's like, you know. Yeah. Because I've changed so much as a person in the last decade plus, like, significantly changed. I'm a parent, I'm, you know, a husband, sober. Like the massive life changes and for many years my career wasn't sort of reflective of that. And I had these new things to sort of contribute as a worker that I, you know, whether it's director or an actor, that I, you know, wasn't allowing my. The things that I had learned in life to sort of take into that. You know, I was like, no, I'm just an actor. I'm just an actor for hire. It's what I do. And yeah, and when I am an actor for hire, it is. That's. That's what it. But like, oh, I can bring other things. I'm. I am. I'm not the kid from America Pie anymore. I was in a movie called American Pie. Came out in 99.
- [59:44]
A
Never heard it was.
- [59:45]
B
I no, that's. I could tell. That's why I'm gonna tell you.
- [59:47]
A
Born in 2005.
- [59:49]
B
Five.
- [59:50]
A
So.
- [59:50]
B
No, I know. So. So. So, yeah. It's. Ask your parents.
- [59:53]
A
Yeah.
- [59:54]
B
About it.
- [59:54]
A
Okay.
- [59:54]
B
I'm sure they're fans of mine.
- [59:56]
A
Okay.
- [59:56]
B
They're sure they're fans of mine.
- [59:59]
A
They just.
- [59:59]
B
Really big worldwide.
- [60:00]
A
Okay.
- [60:01]
B
It was pretty big worldwide.
- [60:02]
A
Okay.
- [60:03]
B
Kind of everywhere.
- [60:04]
A
American pilots popping off in Nigeria.
- [60:07]
B
Part Horror Court also. It played very well there.
- [60:10]
A
Okay. And you know this for a fact?
- [60:12]
B
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I did a press tour there.
- [60:14]
A
I'll check with my mom if she's. Jason. Say your last name for me one more time.
- [60:17]
B
Yeah, no problem. Bateman.
- [60:18]
A
Jason Bateman. Okay, I'll check with her. Wait, but I worked with Jason Bateman on SNL before, so.
- [60:24]
B
You have. Yeah, I remember.
- [60:26]
A
You were there. Oh, hey, Go.
- [60:27]
B
What's up? Remember the sketch we did? Yeah. Fucking hilarious.
- [60:32]
A
Oh, man.
- [60:33]
B
It was one of my favorites I've done. It was in my top 10 for sure.
- [60:36]
A
Okay. It's so good. Good to see you.
- [60:37]
B
Nice to see you. Ego, right?
- [60:39]
A
Aygo. Yes. Yes.
- [60:41]
B
Aygo.
- [60:43]
A
The way you say it makes me hate my name. Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
- [60:48]
B
Sorry.
- [60:50]
A
No, no, no. I have so many things I want to ask you. Here's what I'll do. I'm going to try to respect your time. Damn it. That's not.
- [61:00]
B
We haven't even started.
- [61:01]
A
They set you up for failure. That's.
- [61:02]
B
We haven't even started yet. It's fine, keep going.
- [61:04]
A
They set you and your heart out. Can I ask you something really personal?
- [61:08]
B
Do I really have a heart?
- [61:09]
A
Your heart out. Real.
- [61:10]
B
So, okay. Yeah. So the heart out. It's a great question.
- [61:14]
A
Because sometimes the heart out's not real.
- [61:16]
B
Most of the time, a heart out is not real.
- [61:17]
A
Nine out of ten times a heart out is not real.
- [61:19]
B
I would. I'd go eight out of ten, but you're probably. Yeah, let's go eight and a half out of ten.
- [61:23]
A
Okay.
- [61:24]
B
Hard out is bullshit.
- [61:25]
A
85% of the time.
- [61:26]
B
Great is okay. I. The reason I have a heart out today.
- [61:31]
A
You don't have to tell me why, but I'll take it.
- [61:33]
B
No, I'll tell you why. Because otherwise you won't believe me.
- [61:35]
A
Okay, go. Off. Off.
- [61:39]
B
I'm going to see my son. He is.
- [61:41]
A
Oh, everyone and their kids. It's like me being like my dog. I have to pick my dog up.
- [61:44]
B
My dog's by also my dog.
- [61:47]
A
Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
- [61:48]
B
You got my Dog is dying.
- [61:50]
A
Shut the up.
- [61:52]
B
And I need to go get him and have my son say goodbye to him.
- [61:57]
A
You just finish up here.
- [61:59]
B
Well, but I need my son.
- [62:02]
A
Is your dog really dying?
- [62:03]
B
My son is dying and so I
- [62:06]
A
need to go see your dog.
- [62:08]
B
To go see my dog. To tell him to eat his homework one last time.
- [62:12]
A
Okay.
- [62:13]
B
This is fucked. It's dark. It got really dark. No, my. I'm picking my son up at camp in Long Island. Oh. So I have to get all the way out to Long island by the time camp ends at 3:00'. Clock.
- [62:28]
A
Okay. We're gonna get you to Long island. So that means you have to what, 2:20 here? You said it was 11 o'. Clock. A little bit ago I decided we're not cutting that part out.
- [62:37]
B
220 here.
- [62:38]
A
We'll be. Me and you will talk until about
- [62:40]
B
2:20 and I'm getting out to Long island in 40 minutes.
- [62:44]
A
Because you have a jet. You said you like to indulge.
- [62:46]
B
It's a helicopter.
- [62:47]
A
Okay, I'm sorry.
- [62:48]
B
And it's not as fast as a jet. Okay, so I need to leave it to 10.
- [62:52]
A
Okay, so we have time. Can someone get Jason something to eat? We're hanging out where he's gonna go get something.
- [62:59]
B
It's fine. We catered the helicopter. I'll be fine.
- [63:02]
A
I'm gonna let you go. But I. A few more days.
- [63:07]
B
11:30.
- [63:07]
A
What time? No, but what time?
- [63:08]
B
What time do I know? Let me really do the math right now. A squared plus B squared. It's called the callback.
- [63:13]
A
It's called the callback.
- [63:15]
B
I gotta get the fuck outta here.
- [63:16]
A
Okay, I do have a question. Okay, here's. I have a question and then I have several others.
- [63:20]
B
And then I have an hour's worth of more.
- [63:22]
A
No, I'm gonna be quick and concise, I promise you. We've talked a lot about the things you're working on and the things about yourself that you feel are less than ideal or other people might think are less than ideal. I see you were adept at doing it that. May I? Well, I'm not asking permission. I'm doing it. I'm asking what is a quality of yours that you. A good quality of yours that you have enjoyed from childhood to even now, even in the present, as you've changed and are working on yourself. What's something that is good that has stuck with you in terms of your character?
- [64:00]
B
Yeah. You know, and I think this actually probably connects to that negative quality of taking care of other people and their needs first and kind of thing, but I'm good at reading a room. I'm good at sort of being able to, I think, take in a tone and sort of, you know, play into that tone accordingly and. Yeah, I think sort of being able to meet people where they're at without, you know, I used to want to be really provocative all the time. I used to. And I still enjoy making the joke that's unexpected and pushing like buttons making
- [64:42]
A
my brain break about American Pie. You got, for example, hard on from that.
- [64:46]
B
I did. Still. That's why my legs are crossed. I'm still hard.
- [64:52]
A
But you have to go pick up your son.
- [64:53]
B
I know. Well, I. It's.
- [64:56]
A
He has.
- [64:56]
B
He's nothing he hasn't seen before, you know, and so
- [65:02]
A
I see. I like that quality of yours.
- [65:04]
B
Yeah. I think I just, you know, can kind of like, okay, this is. This is the tone. And I just kind of need to meet everyone here. I think that's something that has served me well from the time I was a kid until until now, I think. Yeah, that's great.
- [65:18]
A
Yeah, I think that's a rare one, too. I don't think everyone. Obviously everyone can't be anything but, like, I don't think as many people as you might imagine are good at reading a room and. No, and it's actually think it's quite an impressive skill.
- [65:32]
B
I think you're right. And I also think it has a lot to do, I think too, with like, a selfishness. Like, I am not the only person in this room. I don't know what everyone else is dealing with. Let's, you know, just patience. I think, like, it's a. It's a let them show you, as opposed to, like, you kind of dictating what the tone needs to be of a room. I don't know. No, I feel like I used to feel the need to come in and, you know, and perform and do the whole thing. And it's like, you know, maybe I just need to let you know.
- [66:11]
A
I like that. But who am I? You know, I don't know.
- [66:14]
B
Who are you? I. I thought, should we work together?
- [66:17]
A
My name is a guy. Go say it. But don't, because I hate when you do. Okay. That's gonna make us move on to the next segment.
- [66:25]
B
I. Oh, my God. Snl.
- [66:27]
A
Shut up.
- [66:28]
B
Wait, no. Snl.
- [66:29]
A
No, you're supposed to say, I know you from thanks, Dad. I Heart podcast.
- [66:33]
B
I know.
- [66:34]
A
Shut up.
- [66:35]
B
Hold on. You have a podcast?
- [66:37]
A
I was in Save the Last Dance.
- [66:39]
B
Come on.
- [66:41]
A
I was saved and saved by the Bell.
- [66:44]
B
No, I was saved. I was in. Save my career.
- [66:50]
A
I'm saying all these things in hopes you guys, she can act. Please, we're begging.
- [66:55]
B
Whatever. You've had like four movies come out since I saw you last.
- [66:58]
A
You know what life. You just made that up. You just pulled that number.
- [67:02]
B
I haven't met you before. So that's.
- [67:03]
A
I haven't seen you last.
- [67:04]
B
But you did you just like you were doing right now. You've got a movie out.
- [67:08]
A
I do have a movie.
- [67:09]
B
What's it called?
- [67:09]
A
It's called Little Brother. And you didn't know that.
- [67:11]
B
I know it is.
- [67:12]
A
You didn't know that. And that's your second question you asked me. I didn't count. Count. What's your name again?
- [67:18]
B
That doesn't count.
- [67:19]
A
Not allowed to ask.
- [67:19]
B
Neither of those count as questions.
- [67:21]
A
Not allowed to ask me.
- [67:22]
B
It doesn't count as any question.
- [67:24]
A
I'll throw you out of here. All the way to Long island to get your son and your fake dog.
- [67:29]
B
You have to throw me out to Long Island. You just throw me to the West 30th street heliport. Thank you very much.
- [67:34]
A
You do have a plane. What's something you've indulged? You spend money. I do want to know what's a crazy indulgence lately? We're craziest ever.
- [67:44]
B
Oh my God. I mean. Yeah, I mean, I have chartered a plane. I mean, I.
- [67:49]
A
You have.
- [67:50]
B
I have done that.
- [67:51]
A
How much?
- [67:52]
B
I once chartered a plane that I couldn't take and it just sat on the tarmac all night while the pilots. I kept checking in with the pilots because I was stuck on set. So Hollywood. I chartered a plane. Chartered a plane to my friend's bachelor party in Vegas. My best friend's bachelor party. And I was going to be filming late Friday night, thinking I was gonna be done at like one in the morning. So I chartered a plane. It was just LA to Vegas. It wasn't like a, you know, crazy, but it was still like. You chartered a plane for myself. Two pilots. Might just be. And spent the money. Paid. Paid it. And. And then the filming kept going later and later and later. And I would be checking in with my pilots and they. They were like, we're still here. Like, what do you think you're gonna finish? I was like, ah, hopefully another hour. Maybe another hour. And they're like, okay, just let us know. Snow. And then eventually at like 4 in the morning, I was just like. They were like, we have to take a break at some something. And I was just like, you know what? Just go.
- [68:47]
A
Yeah.
- [68:47]
B
And also, Jason and I canceled. I was like, just. That was the weirdest.
- [68:50]
A
You chartered a plane and didn't get
- [68:52]
B
to take it and then didn't get to.
- [68:54]
A
But also, you don't want a sleepy pilot, by the way, Even if it is just a Vegas. Them like trying to pull an all nighter for you. Yeah, that's not. And all to go.
- [69:02]
B
And I was like, every time I checked in with them, they were. They were drinking. So every time I was checking in with them, they were getting drunker and you could hear them slurring their words.
- [69:09]
A
No, just let us know when it's all good.
- [69:11]
B
That's good. Just one more hour.
- [69:12]
A
We'll be at the bar and someone in the background yelling shots. Okay.
- [69:16]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [69:16]
A
I'm glad you're here with us is what I'm trying to say. But okay.
- [69:19]
B
I spent my money on food.
- [69:21]
A
Me too. But here's perfect. Perfect segue. It's time for a segment called that's Nice, but what About Me.
- [69:27]
B
Okay. Love it. It's great.
- [69:31]
A
I want to know a restaurant I should try besides Graciela in the city. Los Angeles or New. Los Angeles, I meant to say. See, my brain's breaking. New York or Los Angeles.
- [69:40]
B
Okay.
- [69:40]
A
That I should try.
- [69:42]
B
Okay. A restaurant.
- [69:44]
A
A restaurant.
- [69:44]
B
Okay. Oh, boy. Can you give me some parameters?
- [69:49]
A
I like almost everything. I don't enjoy saffron, the seasoning.
- [69:54]
B
Okay, so stay away from Indian.
- [69:56]
A
Not totally. And don't clip that just like that. Stay away from Indiana, somebody.
- [70:04]
B
And then add like a. Add like a to it. So like, stay away from Indians voice.
- [70:08]
A
An AI Jason Biggs voice.
- [70:09]
B
Stay away from Indians.
- [70:11]
A
Yes. Okay. No, I like Indian food.
- [70:13]
B
I love Indian.
- [70:14]
A
Okay.
- [70:14]
B
Yeah. Not everything has saffron.
- [70:15]
A
Yes. Yeah, that's interesting.
- [70:17]
B
You don't like saffron, though.
- [70:18]
A
Most expensive spice in the world. And I hate it.
- [70:20]
B
I mean, I guess that's a good.
- [70:22]
A
For me.
- [70:23]
B
It's great. You don't like. I love it. I need it and everything.
- [70:25]
A
I need my saffron. I was at dinner last night with Leah. I was like telling her that the week before I'd gone to dinner with a mutual friend. I like to eat out a lot too. And I was like, yeah, we went to this Indian restaurant and I just told the server. I was like, hey, if something has saffron and it's not listed here, like, can you just alert me? Because I will absolutely take it off the list of things I'm getting. And Leah and I have this whole conversation as we're ordering our dinner, and I didn't say it. We weren't at an Indian restaurant. We were at a Latin American restaurant yesterday. Our main dish was saffron. I'm talking to her last course, and I go, this is saffron out. Saffron, heavy saffron. Down she goes. It is the color of it. And I go, and I told you, I could taste it a mile away. I'm like, it's not so prominent, but it's such a taste for me that I can, like, if you sprinkle it.
- [71:15]
B
I'm like, wow. And is it not an allergy? You didn't, like, start convulsing on the. You were. It was just. Just that strong dislike.
- [71:24]
A
Maybe I should. Actually, I did start. No, I just don't like the flavor. So wait, where. Don't. But it doesn't matter. Just your. Your favorite. Tell me.
- [71:33]
B
There's a place I love in Queens called Saffron City.
- [71:37]
A
Okay. Go to hell.
- [71:39]
B
They have these dump. Oh, sorry.
- [71:40]
A
You're not a friend at all. You'll tell me after.
- [71:45]
B
Yeah, but Graciel is the. Graciel is a good one. Graciel is a good one. Just brand new. Do it. Yes. Do you like. Do you eat everything besides saffron?
- [71:51]
A
I eat most things. I'm weird about pork, but I eat pork. But I eat pork. But I'm weird about it. Like, I'll eat bacon. I'll eat pork sausage.
- [71:58]
B
You know, it's interesting. But, yeah, I don't eat a lot of pork.
- [72:00]
A
Yeah.
- [72:01]
B
But if a restaurant is a nicer restaurant has a pork chop on the menu, this is one of my rules of eating. I will always order it. And I just had what is maybe the best pork chop in New York City. Go, Paros. It's a Greek restaurant in Tribeca. A pork chop, it was seasoned perfectly. And I asked the waiter, I said, will the chef prepare this medium rare for me? Because some kitchens will not do pork medium rare because they. They're like, eh. It skews white meat, chicken. We're a little afraid we won't do that. Liability. Kind of. Which I'm like, I don't. I've never heard of. But pork, if it's a good piece of pork, medium rare. And this was phenomenal. Paros.
- [72:48]
A
Paros. I'm gonna tell you what.
- [72:51]
B
Tell me what.
- [72:52]
A
Go medium.
- [72:53]
B
Okay.
- [72:54]
A
Just as a black woman.
- [72:56]
B
Okay. Why. What does that have to do with why medium? Medium?
- [73:00]
A
Because me and undercooked meats. Have you seen this sketch this girl did on snl?
- [73:06]
B
Oh my God.
- [73:06]
A
Lisa, from where you're cutting? Not me. No, somebody. This other person. Right. It wasn't me.
- [73:12]
B
Right, of course.
- [73:13]
A
Okay.
- [73:14]
B
The tough meat. The tough meat. That was the whole thing.
- [73:16]
A
Tough meat.
- [73:16]
B
The whole thing.
- [73:17]
A
The extra, extra, extra. Well done.
- [73:19]
B
Is that a cultural thing that I'm not aware of?
- [73:21]
A
Clip that as well.
- [73:22]
B
I'm sorry. No. Sorry. Oh, fucked. Am I just being so racist right now? Oh, for just sake.
- [73:28]
A
It's so fun how uncomfortable I can make.
- [73:30]
B
You know, I have a friend. I used to have a friend. A black friend.
- [73:33]
A
Like one ever.
- [73:35]
B
Yeah.
- [73:35]
A
Clip that.
- [73:36]
B
What more do I need?
- [73:38]
A
Clip that. In terms of black friends.
- [73:40]
B
Yeah.
- [73:41]
A
Okay.
- [73:42]
B
Am I. I love this.
- [73:45]
A
The title of this episode, Jason Biggs is so over. Jason Biggs is done. Honey, it is a thing. It is a thing. But it's more complex than we can Discuss in the 60 seconds we have here. I shan't keep you.
- [74:01]
B
Okay.
- [74:02]
A
But we are gonna play.
- [74:03]
B
But you'll go medium though, which is good.
- [74:04]
A
I'll go medium.
- [74:04]
B
Medium.
- [74:06]
A
I graduated to medium from well done.
- [74:08]
B
Mazel.
- [74:09]
A
Okay. Thank you so much. Merci.
- [74:13]
B
Do you speak any other languages?
- [74:15]
A
I say a couple words in other languages. A couple words like merci.
- [74:19]
B
Yep. That's Italian.
- [74:21]
A
Italian. Grazie. French.
- [74:24]
B
Yep.
- [74:25]
A
Anyway, Jason, you need to go get your made up son. We're gonna play thanks. No, thanks. And then I'm gonna set you free into the world. Okay. Thanks. No, thanks. Would you be saying thanks or no thanks if you received. Received the following gifts? A free T shirt given for being a top blood donor.
- [74:42]
B
No, thanks.
- [74:43]
A
Oh, you don't want the free tea. Why?
- [74:45]
B
Because I have so much that I end up getting. I. I'm getting better about not hoarding and trying to keep my. Simplify. Get rid of. They don't, you know, keep it. Donate it to someone else, please. Who might actually need to wear a T shirt.
- [75:00]
A
Respect.
- [75:01]
B
Happy to just give you my blood and then faint that as well.
- [75:05]
A
Okay.
- [75:07]
B
Unless you're black or Indian. I will not. My blood is for white people only.
- [75:13]
A
Okay. Yes, Jason, you're making my job so easy. A furby that will simply not shut up.
- [75:23]
B
Thanks.
- [75:23]
A
Thanks.
- [75:24]
B
I'm gonna take that and give it to my made up son.
- [75:26]
A
Okay. All right. Okay. An aggressive. Aggressive wake up call service.
- [75:33]
B
What do you mean by aggressive? Like get the fuck out of bed.
- [75:36]
A
Yeah, like that.
- [75:37]
B
That kind of thing. Or aggressive meaning like it's constantly. Like even in the middle of the day. I'm just.
- [75:41]
A
It's a little bit of both. It's that it's get the fuck out of bed. It's constant. It's. But it's.
- [75:45]
B
I'm gonna say thanks. Cause I am paranoid about sleeping through an alarm. Paranoid about punctuality. And I will say thanks to that.
- [75:52]
A
Okay. A horse.
- [75:55]
B
Whores.
- [75:56]
A
Not whores.
- [75:57]
B
Wait, what?
- [75:58]
A
A horse. Not a multiple whores. A giddy up horse.
- [76:04]
B
Oh, I'm a giddy up horse. I say thanks.
- [76:08]
A
Okay. A supplement. They swear by. The gift giver swears by.
- [76:15]
B
No thanks.
- [76:16]
A
Why'd you. Condescension.
- [76:19]
B
Judgment. Lots of judgment.
- [76:20]
A
Are you not supplementing?
- [76:22]
B
No, I was just thinking, like, I've. The irony. Cause I've. There was a time you hand me a pill, I would happily take it, no questions asked.
- [76:30]
A
Wow.
- [76:31]
B
Oh, man. The stuff that I was handed and just. And now I'd be like, do I need that? Do I want that? I've got my own. You saw me. I started this.
- [76:39]
A
He started by taking. This is not a TV show. It's a podcast.
- [76:43]
B
I started this podcast by taking a handful of pills.
- [76:46]
A
You did.
- [76:47]
B
I know. So I have very specific. I think I'd inquire about it. Maybe I'd say thanks. But if it's just. Just a. You want this? I'd go, no, thanks.
- [76:54]
A
Loosen a dirty hand. Gross.
- [76:56]
B
No, thanks. Yeah, that's what some of your pocket lint. No, no, thanks.
- [77:00]
A
Thanks. That's where I keep the nuggets. Oh. And now it's time for. Thank you Next. I'm sorry. This is longer than I imagined, but you're fun and I'm canceling you. Okay. From.
- [77:12]
B
Can I tell you honestly what I'm thinking right now? I'm like that there is a world I could be. I like you. Literally could.
- [77:16]
A
You could get. I could clip it in a way that would be whack.
- [77:21]
B
Even in a way where you didn't intend for it. You're just like, oh, this could funny to show this. But then it's someone else says. Because by the way, even if you do air that stuff in full context where it's like, oh, funny. Someone else could go like that. And then I'm canceled. Not from you, but because of you byproduct of.
- [77:41]
A
So it's like, thanks, dad. Do you have enemies? We were supposed to end like a hundred minutes ago. No, but I do want to know if you have enemies.
- [77:51]
B
No.
- [77:52]
A
Okay, good. I think you're gonna be okay then.
- [77:54]
B
Thank you. Next.
- [77:55]
A
I might be enemy. What's a question you'd like to ask our next guest?
- [77:59]
B
A question like to ask my next Guest.
- [78:02]
A
My next guest.
- [78:03]
B
I would like to ask you. You're gonna have a next guest.
- [78:07]
A
This isn't over because you're getting canceled. And the podcast isn't getting canceled. You're getting canceled.
- [78:14]
B
I just don't know that you can after me being on this show. I just don't know that. First of all, I feel bad for your next guest. Let me just put it that way. But I. I'd say, what? What? What? What would the version of you from 20 years ago be most surprised to see about you now?
- [78:32]
A
I like that.
- [78:33]
B
Yeah.
- [78:33]
A
Now, Cam Patterson, previous guest, wants to know who's your favorite rapper and why is it Ro.
- [78:46]
B
I don't know who Rod Wave is.
- [78:50]
A
Is that your final answer? No.
- [78:51]
B
And then my favorite rapper, since it can't be Rod Wave, since I don't know Rod Wave, have I heard his music or her music? I don't know their music.
- [78:59]
A
I've heard of Rod Wave.
- [79:00]
B
See, you don't know either. Okay. All right.
- [79:02]
A
12 years old.
- [79:04]
B
Wait, is that true? I don't know who. I don't know who Cam is either.
- [79:07]
A
He looks 12. Cam is on a show called Saturday Night Live Live. New cast member.
- [79:11]
B
Oh, yes. Okay. Amazing.
- [79:14]
A
You were there, though.
- [79:16]
B
Yeah, no, I've hosted so many times.
- [79:19]
A
Okay, favorite rapper.
- [79:21]
B
Favorite rapper. Listen, I'm old and old school, so.
- [79:26]
A
Run dmc,
- [79:29]
B
Funk Master Flex. No, like, I'm like a Tribe Called Quest guy. Let's go. Q Tip.
- [79:36]
A
Q tip. Vibrant thing.
- [79:38]
B
Yep.
- [79:38]
A
Okay, that's. I will take it.
- [79:41]
B
Great. Or one of the. I mean, any Wu Tang. I mean, I don't know. Yeah.
- [79:46]
A
How do you.
- [79:46]
B
Rza. Yeah, they're all beautiful.
- [79:49]
A
Anyway, I support it. That feels like a valid answer. And with that Jason. Thank you.
- [79:54]
B
I'm canceled. With that Jason. You're canceled.
- [79:56]
A
You're done for, honey. And it was a pleasure having you. Thinkstad is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca. Hi.
- [80:18]
B
Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless bill? It's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately, though, Mint Story is better. Every plan, $15 a month, even unlimited. That's it. Happy ending, zero tears. Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months. $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms. Hey, Portlandia fans, Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life, Guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia Aao rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [81:35]
A
What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.
- [81:38]
B
Hey, what's up, y'? All? It's your girl, Sam J.
- [81:40]
A
And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I heart women's sports.
- [81:45]
B
We're breaking down the biggest headlines.
- [81:46]
A
Naomi Osaka showing out shout outs to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Chrisean Rock's boxing journey.
- [81:53]
B
She looks good, her combos are swift.
- [81:56]
A
And the stories everyone's talking about across
- [81:58]
B
women's sports because everyone watches women's sports.
- [82:00]
A
Listen to Everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
- [82:05]
B
I'm Nick Turturro.
- [82:07]
A
You probably know me from NYPD Blue,
- [82:09]
B
the Longest Yard or Spike Lee's BlackKklansman.
- [82:12]
A
And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rock.
- [82:19]
B
What are you doing? My belt. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am.
- [82:26]
A
And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro.
- [82:31]
B
It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness and many, many more.
- [82:35]
A
Open your free I Heart radio app
- [82:37]
B
search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro. And listen now.
- [82:40]
A
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [82:43]
B
Guaranteed Human.