Paul Scheer

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim" Featuring Paul Scheer

Episode Information:

• Title: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim
• Guest: Paul Scheer
• Release Date: November 25, 2024
• Host: Ego Nwodim
• Platform: Headgum

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1. Introduction and First Impressions

The episode kicks off with Ego Nwodim introducing Paul Scheer as her "Dad for the Day." The initial banter sets a lighthearted tone as Paul humorously questions his "dad" appearance, adorned in a cardigan and holding a pipe.

• [00:13] Ego Nwodim: "Please welcome my dad for the day, Paul Scheer."
• [00:16] Paul Scheer: "I am thrilled to be here. I'm wearing a cardigan. I have a pipe. Is that what I'm supposed to be looking like as a dad?"

2. Recalling Their First Meeting

Paul reflects on his first meeting with Ego, expressing regret over being an hour late. Ego counters by claiming she doesn't recall his lateness, highlighting their close and supportive relationship.

• [00:27] Paul Scheer: "In my time of being in LA, I've had two of the most atrocious moments for myself, and I consider my first meeting with you to be one of them, where I was, like, an hour late."
• [00:54] Ego Nwodim: "I don't remember you being late... I only remember you being incredibly helpful to me, taking this show out."

3. Balancing Parenthood and Personal Life

The conversation shifts to Paul's role as a father, emphasizing his commitment to spending quality time with his children despite the challenges of balancing work and personal life.

• [06:23] Paul Scheer: "Anytime I get to hang out with you... When my kids leave the house till when they come home, I like to have dinner with my kids every night."
• [06:47] Ego Nwodim: "I only have kids and going to one too many lunches in a week, but..."

Paul elaborates on the constraints of his schedule, expressing the difficulty in finding time for friends while prioritizing his children's needs.

4. Communication Styles and Phone Etiquette

Ego and Paul discuss their differing attitudes towards phone calls. Paul shares his preference for meaningful conversations and the selective nature of his calls, especially concerning family.

• [07:30] Ego Nwodim: "How do you feel about phone calls, by the way?"
• [07:34] Paul Scheer: "I'm excited because I'm like, oh, if you're calling me, this will be interesting on any number of levels... I have to be in the right mental state."

They delve into the nuances of phone communication, highlighting Paul's selective approach based on his mental and emotional readiness.

5. Paul's Relationship with His Father

A significant portion of the episode explores Paul’s relationship with his own father, portraying him as a supportive yet adaptable figure—a "chameleon" who adjusts to his children's interests.

• [14:38] Paul Scheer: "I have a dad that's really interesting. He's a little bit of a chameleon. Whatever you're into, he'll be into."
• [15:00] Paul Scheer: "One of the best, coolest Hollywood things I ever got to do was I brought my dad to one of the night before parties."

Paul recounts heartwarming stories of bonding with his father, such as attending industry parties together, showcasing his father's flexibility and commitment to being present.

6. Navigating Political Differences

The dialogue takes a turn towards political disagreements between Paul and his father, particularly regarding voting preferences and moral beliefs.

• [29:07] Paul Scheer: "He has a very strong opinion about abortion. I am 100% pro-choice."
• [39:05] Paul Scheer: "Single issue voter, that's a very real thing... He's not moving from his stance."

Ego and Paul discuss the challenges of maintaining a relationship amid deep-seated political differences, emphasizing mutual respect despite disagreements.

7. Parenting Philosophy and Handling Sensitive Topics

Paul shares his parenting philosophy, focusing on honesty, empathy, and supporting his children through their fears and questions without judgment.

• [44:10] Paul Scheer: "My number one job is to make sure I am raising good humans... empathetic, supportive, loving."
• [47:15] Paul Scheer: "I just want to applaud that he made a really good decision that was uncomfortable for him to share with us and articulate."

He touches upon techniques for discussing difficult subjects like death and the importance of being a trustworthy ally to his children.

8. Advice on Investing Money

In the concluding segment, Paul offers practical advice on investing, advocating for a conservative and professional approach to financial growth.

• [65:36] Paul Scheer: "Start saving... find a very smart person that will be conservative with your money."
• [66:49] Paul Scheer: "It's always gambling at the level. Let's go in with a professional gambler, right?"

He recommends entrusting investments to experienced professionals and warns against high-risk ventures, emphasizing patience and steady growth.

9. Conclusion and Book Promotion

The episode wraps up with Paul promoting his memoir, "Joyful Recollections of Trauma," highlighting its exploration of fatherhood and personal struggles.

• [71:09] Paul Scheer: "Joyful Recollections of Trauma is available as an audiobook, an ebook... keep the reviews coming because that actually helps sell more books."

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Key Takeaways:

• Balancing Act: Paul exemplifies the challenges of balancing parenthood with personal and professional responsibilities, stressing the importance of prioritizing family time.

• Adaptive Parenting: Highlighting his father's chameleon-like adaptability, Paul underscores the value of being supportive and involved in children's interests.

• Navigating Differences: The episode candidly addresses the complexities of maintaining familial relationships amidst political and moral disagreements, advocating for mutual respect.

• Empathetic Communication: Paul’s approach to parenting emphasizes empathy, honesty, and creating a safe space for children to express their fears and questions.

• Financial Prudence: Offering investment advice, Paul advocates for conservative strategies managed by professionals, discouraging high-risk financial gambles.

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Notable Quotes:

• On Parenting Commitment:

  • [06:23] Paul Scheer: "Anytime I get to hang out with you... I want to embrace all that as much as I can."

• On Political Differences:

  • [29:07] Paul Scheer: "He has a very strong opinion about abortion. I am 100% pro-choice."

• On Raising Empathetic Children:

  • [44:10] Paul Scheer: "My number one job is to make sure I am raising good humans... empathetic, supportive, loving."

• On Investment Strategy:

  • [65:36] Paul Scheer: "Start saving... find a very smart person that will be conservative with your money."

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This episode of "Thanks Dad" offers a profound exploration of fatherhood, personal relationships, and the intricate balance between personal beliefs and familial bonds. Through heartfelt conversations and practical advice, Ego Nwodim and Paul Scheer provide listeners with valuable insights into navigating the complexities of modern parenting and maintaining meaningful relationships.

Transcript

[Paul Scheer]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Eggo Wodim]

Please welcome my dad for the day, Paul Scheer.

[Paul Scheer]

I am thrilled to be here. I'm wearing a cardigan. I have a pipe. Is that what I'm supposed to be looking like as a dad?

[Eggo Wodim]

It's a perfect sitcom dad. Paul, it's so wonderful to see you.

[Paul Scheer]

I love. Anytime I get to hang out with you, talk to you. I'll tell you one thing. In my. In my time of being in la, I've had two of the most atrocious moments for myself, and I consider my first meeting with you to be one of them, where I was, like, an hour late. I've never done that before, and I think about that all the time, and I feel so terrible about it. It was. Yeah, it was a crazy. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

Paul, I have to say this. I am like you in that if I were an hour late to meet someone the first time I was meeting them, I would never stop thinking about it till the day I die. Here's the crazy thing.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

I don't remember you being late, so if you. Redemption. Because I quite literally do not remember you being late. I only remember you being incredibly helpful to me, taking this show out. So I don't. I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Paul Scheer]

All right, good. I will take it was this, like, the first time we met, and I. I think I just. It was one of those times where I was like, all the way in the Valley and I was going to come and meet you, and I just said. And whatever it was, it was like, okay, I'll be 10 minutes. Like, okay, 20. And it kept on growing, growing, growing. And I was like, oh, no. And, like, I get those sw. Where I'm like, you know, I'm like, oh, God. Like, I'm. And I always think about, like, there's two times. It was meeting with you.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And meeting with the producer of all the Fast and Furious movies, years before those became bigger. It was like when I was first out in Hollywood. Like, my agent called me, he's like, are you on your way? I was like, I am. I am. I just.

[Eggo Wodim]

Were you stuck in traffic? You were stuck in traffic. Were you really? Because people say they're stuck in traffic all the time.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Eggo Wodim]

And it's like, there's not traffic. I'm looking on Google Maps right now. I've got your address in to where we're from in the map, and I'm seeing that it is a clear path. No red lines.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, and that's the thing. It's like, there are. And that's why, look, 10 minutes late, 15 minutes late. That's in the. You know, not great, but it's in the ballpark. That's like, I lied about traffic. An hour late. Something catastrophic has happened. Because that is like, that's like rock level lateness or a Vin Diesel level. Like, it's like my life is too complicated for me to abide by time.

[Eggo Wodim]

Like, I can't. Yes. Time has to bend to me. Frankly, I read this article back in, like, 2016 that was like, if you're late, it's because you don't respect people's time. And that's just it. Don't make any excuse. There's no excuse. At the end of the day, when you simplify it, crystallize it, the root of it is you do not respect people's time. You think your time is more important than others. And I'm like, God damn.

[Paul Scheer]

The tough thing when you are a little bit late all the time. Like, oh, God, is that true? I guess maybe it is.

[Eggo Wodim]

Really kicked me in the ass. But here's the thing. I'm still late sometimes, and I think it's important to show grace. And I literally did not remember you being late, but now that you say all of this, you're kind of jogging my memory. I remember sitting there at a table for one, and the server comes over and goes, are you sure the other guest is joining? And I go, I promise. I promise he'll be here. Okay, but before we get into all of this, I just need to say I'm so happy you're here, but I have to introduce myself. I have to intro you. No, Cold open. Cold open. Sort of like the show I'm on.

[Paul Scheer]

Right?

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. Hi. Hi, guys. Hello, I'm Eggo Wodom. And welcome to. Thanks, Dad. I was raised by a single mom, and I don't have a relationship with my dad. And guess what? I'm never going to have a relationship with him because he's dead. Oh, yeah, he died. False face.

[Paul Scheer]

I know some of this. I do know some of this.

[Eggo Wodim]

But you didn't know he died. News to you?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, News to me.

[Eggo Wodim]

But I did find out within a couple of months anyway. So he's gone, and so I'm not gonna have a relationship with him. So I'm sitting down with father figures who are old enough to be my dad. No offense, Paul. Or who are just dads themselves or who have just big dad energy. I'm going to reclaim BDE and say it should Be called Big dad Energy.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, I did want to call out. If I was your father, I would have been comically young. Like, I. Like.

[Caleb Herron]

I.

[Paul Scheer]

Like. I just want to say I'm not old. Okay, you're not old. You're not old. But I'm not that old either.

[Eggo Wodim]

You know, you. You go, I'm not. Hold on, let me make it clear to. I can still.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I'm old. I'm in my. I'm in my 40s, but I'm not. Like, I. I would have been in your 40s. Yeah, I.

[Eggo Wodim]

You. You look damn good.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, thank you. I'll take that.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. Wow. I'm thinking. I'm like. And you said 40s. Like, I'm in. Deep in them. Because I'm in my.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm. Yeah, I'm. I'm past. I mean, yeah, I am in.

[Eggo Wodim]

You don't need to say the number. This is Hollywood. This is Hollywood. Don't say the number. Don't ever say the number. No one Google either. Come on. Let him be.

[Paul Scheer]

Lifestyle. Cold plunges.

[Eggo Wodim]

Exactly. Cold plunges. Skin care, Etc. Point is, I'm asking people who could be my dad the questions I've always wanted to ask my dad, who is now deceased. I don't know. How do I know if the guy I'm dating is right for me? Or what do I look for when I'm buying a card? Like, how can I not get scammed by a car salesman? Better yet, I don't know. How do I tie a tie? Girls want to wear ties sometimes. Now, too. I don't know how to tie a tie. Okay, well, guys, my next guest, who you've already heard quite a bit from, lots of baggage between the two of us, is a comedian, actor, filmmaker, and podcaster himself. You might know him from the league Black Monday. How did this get made? Or one of his many other projects. The man's got a resume out the wazoo. He has a new memoir out, a New York Times bestseller. Congratulations, dad.

[Paul Scheer]

Thank you so much.

[Eggo Wodim]

Well, yes, it's about dad.

[Paul Scheer]

Stuff in there. Oh, there's stuff in there. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

We're getting into it, and it's called Joyful Recollections of Trauma. Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. All right. Wonderful. Please welcome, you guys, my dad for the day, Paul Scheer.

[Paul Scheer]

I am so happy to be here. And I know. Let's get into it. Cause we really already. Yeah, we've already caught up. So here we go.

[Eggo Wodim]

We did. We did the whole, like, how are you? Let's grab lunch. La Thing that people do. And we will never get lunch, you and I.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, I mean, look, it's like, here's the thing. I am a dad and I don't get to see my friends that much because my time is spent doing dad things. Especially like on the weekend. Like during the week, a lunch is on the table, But I also have a limited period of time because when my kids leave the house till when they come home, I like to, if I'm not working, have dinner with my kids every night.

[Eggo Wodim]

Oh, very nice.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, and that's, like, important to me. And I want to. I mean, most of the time I like to be able to put them to bed too. Like, why not? There's only gonna be times that they want me around. So let me embrace all that as much as I can.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

So there's always a small window. And then work gets in the way and it's like, I have to leave to have lunch. I would like to see these people. But yeah, it's hard. It's hard to balance.

[Eggo Wodim]

I can only imagine I don't have any kids and going to one too many lunches in a week. I'm a little bit like, okay, enough, Enough of. We've had every salad and piece of salmon it feels we could possibly have.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

And let's talk on the phone. How do you feel about phone calls, by the way?

[Paul Scheer]

You know what? I'm coming around on phone calls, actually. I like a phone call. I do like a phone call. I don't have many of them, but yeah, I'm not adverse to it. I'm not adverse to it.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. So when you see a person, like, if I called you Paul Cold called you.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

My name pops up on your screen. Are you sort of like, whoa, what? What happened? What does she need?

[Paul Scheer]

No, I'm excited because I'm like, oh, if you're calling me, this will be interesting on any number of levels. There are certain people that I'm not excited about. Like, I have to be in the right mental state to take a phone call from my parents.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm just. What? Okay. Because it's not going to be easy. It's not going to be quick. It's not like just a check in.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

If it's my wife, I'm definitely picking up. Now here's the thing that's.

[Eggo Wodim]

Are you excited, though? Are you excited, though?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, I love my wife. I'm excited.

[Eggo Wodim]

I love that. Okay. Okay, great.

[Paul Scheer]

Sometimes where I get irritated with my wife on a phone call is like, she's driving home, and I'm driving home, and we're maybe going to be at the house in five minutes. And I'm like, we can hang up now. We'll see each other at home. We'll be at home. Like, you know, like, let me get my final. Like. Like you.

[Eggo Wodim]

Because it's, like, moments to yourself, just a little quiet time to you, just.

[Paul Scheer]

With your thoughts, like, that's the only time I'm always like, all right, I'll talk to you at home. And she's like, well, no, I want to talk. I'm like, we're going to see you in five minutes. I'm going to see. We're going to see each other, and then we can do all of this in minutes, you know?

[Eggo Wodim]

It's kind of sweet, though. She still likes you and wants to talk to you. What a dream.

[Paul Scheer]

And by the way, I love doing that, too. And I often call her, and June has something that drives me up the wall.

[Eggo Wodim]

Tell.

[Paul Scheer]

Tell. Since. Since we have been together, maybe. Actually, I may have gotten her on the last year of having a real voicemail. Her voicemail is always full. You can never leave a message.

[Eggo Wodim]

Do you think, is it on purpose? Because mine's full sometimes.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no. It's on purpose.

[Eggo Wodim]

It's on purpose.

[Paul Scheer]

She has filled it to the brim, and I was there when it happened. And she will never check them or clear them. It's. That's it.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow. Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

No voicemails.

[Eggo Wodim]

But June, though, I mean, June's not here. I gotta get her on the podcast.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, please do.

[Eggo Wodim]

But I' and, like, you know, if I call you and your voicemail is full, I'm not even sure the call went through. And so. Because sometimes it hasn't. Sometimes I call people, I leave them a voicemail, and they're like, I was sitting right here. My phone didn't even ring 100%. Or your phone's going straight to voicemail because you've turned it off and you're on a plane and you follow rules.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, of course.

[Eggo Wodim]

And so you don't even know I called. That stresses me out. When people tell me mine is full, I'm always like, oh, my goodness, thank you for telling me, and I'll clear a few. I have voice messages that I've saved for sentimental reasons. Just being like, yeah, it's lovely, and I'm supposed to transfer them to my computer, but that feels like a whole. So I forget to do that is.

[Paul Scheer]

Easier than you think, because you can really just hit a button now. And just goes right into icloud.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay, way to shame me. Okay, way to shame me.

[Paul Scheer]

Because I also felt the same way. I'm like, what am I. I want to sit down with these voice. Because it's like, there's something sweet about. I keep this because it's accessible. And then you're like, well, now it's just taking up a lot of space, but what am I gonna do with it? And then someone showed me the button. I'm like, oh, all right, that's easier.

[Eggo Wodim]

Not so bad. Okay, so maybe I will just, like, airdrop them to my phone. But you said.

[Paul Scheer]

But here's the thing.

[Eggo Wodim]

No, tell me, tell me you're never.

[Paul Scheer]

Going to check them after you airdrop to wherever you're going.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay, you know what I did one time? I had a voiceover audition, and I have a folder on my computer that's like vo. And I have a folder on my computer, says, voicemail. I sent my agent's assistant all my sentimental. And they. The shame I felt when they email me back, being like, yeah, so, hey, I don't know how to tell you this. This is not the voiceover audition. And I had to be like, I don't even what you just heard, but I hope to God. Yeah, spooky. But I don't really have too many secrets, so it's not like, no, there's anything juicy. It just feels like I just, like, let someone into my heart is what it feels.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, that's. I mean, that's the thing. Like, a sentimental voicemail doesn't mean anything to anyone else but you. Right. It's like, you have to know, oh, that's my so and so who's calling me about my this and that.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

It's not like somebody's like, hey, I wanna. You go for panties. And, you know, it's like, it's not like you're saving.

[Eggo Wodim]

Like I said that.

[Paul Scheer]

Sex away. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

You know, it's like, also imagine the freak who leaves a voice message like that. But here's the thing. I always say that you can conceive of anything. Someone on this planet has done it. There's billions of people.

[Paul Scheer]

So whatever the wildest thing you think of, we gotta. We gotta check in here. Do you remember there was a show, I feel like it was called, like, Access. It was like an Access Hollywood show, right? And there was this guy, very thick mustache and blonde hair. He looked a little bit like a square. He had this crazy voice. After I get off this thing, okay, his voicemails got out and so he was at a dinner with this woman. He's a drunk. And he's. Now he's. Now he's reformed himself. He's sober. But he was like, I'm looking at you across the table and I just want to rip your panties off. And I want to lick you and fuck you. And it's like. And they're all out. And they are the funniest, most vulgar. And it's like he had a dinner, like, of six couples, and he's sending it to this woman that he has no relationship with. That he's like. It's like those men who kill their wives. Because, like, I think the nanny's interested in me, right? Like, you know, like, he. Like he's ascending. Cold call. That is graphic sex. Yes.

[Eggo Wodim]

Oh, that's wild.

[Paul Scheer]

They are. Some of the funny, like, truly make me laugh harder than anything because they're all so fucking gross.

[Eggo Wodim]

Presumably drunk while he's. While he's doing it.

[Paul Scheer]

And the funny part is, is like, he's like, excuse me, I could go to the bathroom. Then goes to the bathroom and calls this woman. She's at the table getting these messages.

[Eggo Wodim]

I absolutely hate all of this.

[Paul Scheer]

I hate all this.

[Eggo Wodim]

I'm going to start with he lost me when he. You said he was blonde and had a thick mustache. Because I can't even picture the two going together. I don't see those two living together. But wait, you said you have to prepare yourself mentally to get on the phone with your parents. Okay. How long did it take you to realize, like, hey, I can't just, like, pick up a cold call from you? Because there are people in my life who I'm like, I can't pick up a call from you unless, again, I have the space and I'm in the right state of mind. But it took me so long to figure that out and then abide by it.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, that's the thing, right? Like, phone calls are interesting because they can really turn your day. Like, if you're having a good day. Like, I got an email yesterday that really turned my day right at the end. And emails. It's like, I. I can avert my eyes from text messages. Like, I'm like, oh, I see somebody texting. I'm not gonna look further than that. But I wanna. I have to keep my own. It's a mental health check. And with my parents. I love my parents very, very much.

[Eggo Wodim]

You have to say that. Cause they might listen, they may hear.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, yeah, I mean, they'll find it on something. But you have to be like, what? I need time. I need time to be like, I gotta sit down. I gotta be in a spot. It's not like I can't just take it on the run because nothing is simple. They're never just checking in to say hi. Right. It's like, you know, it's like, oh, I can't just quickly take it. So I also know, like, where I'm at mentally. Like, if I'm in a downward spiral that day, I ain't gonna take a phone call from them. I can't go further down that rabbit hole.

[Eggo Wodim]

Like, you know, okay, you're armored up.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

Now, what kind of dad would you say you have?

[Paul Scheer]

I have a dad that's really interesting. I talk about him a lot in my book in the sense that he is a wonderful guy. I would imagine that many people would say he is very much like me. Okay. But if I was to give any, like, descriptor to my dad, I would say that he's a little bit of a chameleon. Whatever you're into, he'll be into.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And it will kind of change. So it's like, oh, you know, it's like he knows about everything, or he posits himself to know about everything, because I think he likes being in that position, but he's not like a know it all. Like, here's a great example of my dad. I brought my dad to Japan. One of the best, coolest Hollywood things I ever got to do was I brought my dad to one of the night before party. And that's something that happens in la.

[Eggo Wodim]

Oh, yes.

[Paul Scheer]

The night before the Oscars and the night before the Emmys, there are these fun, quote unquote, casual parties. No industry allowed. No press allowed. It's like, it's a. It's a night just for fun. Yeah, right. Fun, Whatever that is.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yes. Right.

[Paul Scheer]

But everyone's dressed up.

[Eggo Wodim]

Everyone's dressed up. And it very. I've been to those, and it very much feels like not casual. And it very much feels like industry is. It's all industry, 1 million percent.

[Paul Scheer]

And so that night, my wife, who can do all that stuff, but also as a woman, and I think she's like, do I want to put all this energy into, like, getting all ready to go out for an hour and, you know, 30 minutes and then go like, you know, she's like, if we're doing like three things, yeah, I'll go do it, but I'm not going to fucking, you know.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

So she's like, I don't want to go. And I'm like, I'll bring my dad. Brought my dad, who was out here visiting. We had the best night. He met Chadwick Boseman. He met Michael Keaton. And that was where it was kind of fun, because I could kind of introduce my dad. I don't know these people, But I also was like, oh, it's casual enough where it's like, oh, hey. Hi. I just wanna say congratulations. Good luck tomorrow. This is my dad. And everyone wants to meet dads. Like, that's the other thing. You know, it's like, he's not an agent. He's not. You know, it's like, oh, it's a dad. And everyone feels that, and it's great.

[Eggo Wodim]

Absolutely.

[Paul Scheer]

So I brought him as a prop.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

And so.

[Eggo Wodim]

And that's fine. I feel at some point, babies are a prop as well.

[Paul Scheer]

So that's fin. Babies. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

All of it. Right.

[Paul Scheer]

So my dad is really enjoying this party because around the party, in all four corners, are these, like, gifting stations, and they're like. And it's the stuff that I don't go to, and probably you don't go to. It's like Delta Airlines or Play. Play Trivia Roulette with Trivago, whatever it is.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

So my dad's like, oh, I want to go and do this, like, paper airplane competition. And I'm like, okay, go do that. I'm gonna talk to my friends. And he goes over and does. He's like, you could just come over. Come over.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And he's like, throw a paper airplane. I'm like, dad. I'm like, I'm like, I don't need to do it. You throw one. My dad threw one, and he got $100 off a ticket to anywhere in the United States. He's like, oh, my gosh, I won it. I'm like, great. And then, like, you do it. You do it. I'm like, no, no, no. And then the woman behind the couch. You do it. Do it. I threw it. It got round trip to Japan.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

And I was like, oh, my gosh. It was my dad's, like, 70th birthday coming up, and I was like, we're gonna go to Japan together. We go to Japan. And I tried to do it right? And I'm like, really? I got a tour guide. I'm trying to plan a great trip. Like, I don't get to go on a trip with my dad like this, you know, since I was a kid, and I wanted to pay him back for all the Beautiful things he's done for me.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. So the first day out with the tour guide. I'm sorry. This is a very long story.

[Eggo Wodim]

No, don't be sorry. I'm in. I'm so. I'm fully in. Let's go.

[Paul Scheer]

So my. We go out with this tour guide, and I can see my dad's, like, a little bit itchy. Like, I don't know what it is, but this tour guide's like, oh, and this is this thing. And she's describing. She's lovely, like, a wonderful woman who's just, like, the perfect tour guide. I love her a lot.

[Eggo Wodim]

Are you still in touch with her?

[Paul Scheer]

I am. Sunny Days in Tokyo is her Instagram ig. If you ever go to Tokyo, go check her out. She's awesome. So we'll text every now and then. Like, she'll see some things that I'm in, and she'll be like, oh, my gosh, I saw you. Or your friend.

[Eggo Wodim]

Incredible.

[Paul Scheer]

I always send my friends to go with her. But when we're leaving, my dad says to me, oh, or, where are we going tomorrow? I'm like, don't worry about it. No, no. Where are we going? Where are we going? And I'm like, well, on the itinerary, it's X, Y, and Z. And he's like, okay, okay, okay. So the next morning, I get up and I see my dad, like, on his Kindle. But it's like. It's like five in the morning. I'm like, what are you doing up? He's like, I'm reading. I'm reading. And I go, what are you reading? He's like, just. I'm just reading. He's being very, like, weird about it.

[Eggo Wodim]

Cagey and.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. Cagey. Yeah. And I go, okay. And so we go out with this woman, and I realize she starts taking us on a tour. And she's like, this was, you know, barricading Wall by Emperor. My dad's like, hirohito. And she's like, yes.

[Eggo Wodim]

And he's like, studying.

[Paul Scheer]

He studied, right? And so then. And then she's. He's like. And then these are. These are gin blossom plants. They're blossom plants. And she's like, oh, Bill, how do you know? He's like, well, you know, I know a couple things. And I realized he was reading up on the next day's stuff to, like, outdo. Not even outdo her, but to have, like, to be in conversation. So it's like. It's kind of cute. Like, he wasn't saying you're wrong. He just like. But whenever she would ask a question, he would have the answ.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right, Right. Okay. So I went on a tour in. Of a mosque in Marrakech, and there was a young man. I'm gonna say, like, early 20s, who was sort of doing the same thing with the tour guide. And I was like, I don't care. That's fine. He's having a good time. But I was like, why do you. I feel like you are actively trying to impress the tour guide. Why does it matter? I just want to soak up the information. And even if I do know the answer to a thing, the tour guide one is not asking. But I'm like, right. Let the tour guide do the tour. And then sometimes they quiz you. But, like, what?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, here's the thing. Like, when I'm with the tour guide, what I will do if I. If I feel it. Come on. Is I will ask a question that I feel like I try to set them up to score. Like, that's. That's, like, my.

[Eggo Wodim]

Cause I'm like, oh, this is my teammate. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Because I'm like, this is hard. I know. You're, like, on a boat tour doing Chicago architecture. And I'm like, just did that tour. Oh, my gosh. I just did it with all my friends. We all were in Chicago, you know? And I'm like. And so I'll do shit like that. Like, I'll be like, I'll throw myself out there. I will laugh at the jokes. I will, like, I'm giving back. Because I also know it's, like, looking at the blank faces, it's just not fun. It's not a good thing. I'm like. I want to, like. I want to feel like I'm here with you. I'm giving you something.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. You're trying to be like, listen, we're invested. I'm excited to be here. We're in an exchange. This isn't going to feel like another mundane tour for you. Let's try to make you think about the tour guide. Do you think that's your dad's instinct, though? Because when you're like, I want to sort of take care of the person. Person. Do you think your dad's instinct is like, again, make them feel like we're in conversation, make this tour a little more exciting for them, or is it to be impressive?

[Paul Scheer]

I think that my. My dad is a wonderful guy who, you know, like, the love languages. Right. I think his love language is to be in service. Okay, so.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. So I think, like. Like having information, being in front of it is like his love language. So it's like, I am. He doesn't know how to just be like. Like, let me take care of you. Like, you know, he wants to be like, I got it, I got it, I got it. I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. You know, it's like, it's a. It's cute. I just seen him, like, change his opinions about things. Right. Like, you know, to suit where he's at and. But I think it's a cute thing because I think it's about connect, where it's like, I want you to feel like I like the same things as you. Like, it's like, you know, like, it's. There's pluses and neg. You don't need to do it, but. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

Do you ever call him out on that when you're seeing him change his mind? Or did you used to call him out or where are you at with that?

[Paul Scheer]

I just let him live because, you know, it's like. Like, I called him out in the Japan thing because I was like, this is stupid.

[Eggo Wodim]

Like, what, in real time, did you call him out or after the fact?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, when I realized, I mean, I'm not in front of her. Like, I let him have his moment. And then I was like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm just like, you know, like, I'm like, I just want to know. I just want to know. He kept on going, I want to know, and go, well, that's why we hired her, because she's going to tell you.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah, she's going to tell us.

[Paul Scheer]

She is the book, right? We got the book, right?

[Eggo Wodim]

You woke up to study for this. Like, this was a test. And, like, your time in Japan was hinging on knowing this information.

[Paul Scheer]

No. Yeah. So that, you know, so that's, you know, I think he just likes that. That kind of thing. Like, I once asked him, my dad's retired now, and I said to him, I was like, well, you know, maybe I want you to come out to LA a little bit more. You know, I got. You got grandkids out here. I was like, maybe you could come out here for like, two or three months, you know, and then you go back to New York or you could go wherever, you know, but it would be fun to have you, like, around. So it's not just like a weekend or a couple days. And he goes, well, you know, I gotta make the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the church. Soup kitchen. And I'm like, right, right. I said, but your grandkids. Yeah, you could take a couple months off from that because it's just making sandwiches for soup kitchen. Right? And he's like, ah, yeah, they need me there. I'm like, you don't even have an official job title. It's not your soup kitchen. You're retired. What do you. Why are you. He's volunteering. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And by the way, lovely. And I said to him, I said, you want to work out a soup kitchen out here? I'll get you a soup kitchen out here. We'll do it. No, no, no. They just need it. They need the help.

[Eggo Wodim]

I'm like, like, okay, okay, okay. His soup kitchen. He's reliable. He sounds reliable.

[Paul Scheer]

He wants to be there and. And do it.

[Eggo Wodim]

Now. I'm curious. So you said he's in New York right now. Is this, like, New York City upstate?

[Paul Scheer]

No, he's on. He's on Long Island. Long island, which is just. Yeah. Which is right outside of New York.

[Eggo Wodim]

And that's where you grew up?

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Eggo Wodim]

Was this annoying for you when you were growing up? Cause I'm guessing he's been doing this.

[Paul Scheer]

For some time now, because where his boyfriend Chameleon thing came in to play was like, he was the coolest dad ever. Like, I was like, I'm into Def Comedy Jam. And my dad's like, I'm into Def Comedy Jam. And my dad took me and all my friends to go see Def Comedy Jam at, like, the Westbury Music Fair. And, like, we went to go see, like, George Carlin, and we saw Martin Lawrence at Radio City Music Hall. Like, we were like. My dad was like, oh, what you're into, I'm into. And I was like, this is the coolest dad ever. Cause, like, he's gonna do it. And, like, and only now do I look back, I'm like, oh, that. My dad must have been in for a shock when we went to go see Martin Lawrence. Yeah, Like, Martin Lawrence and the you so crazy tour. Like, must have been like, oh, wow, Martin's talking about some stuff. You know, it's like, easy.

[Eggo Wodim]

How old were you guys, by the way, roughly?

[Paul Scheer]

I was probably, like, at that time, like, 12 or 13, you know? Like, you know, I'm like, I like Martin, you know, I don't know what stand up is, you know? And, like, so. But my dad, like, my dad would, like, let me listen to Eddie Murphy tapes in the car, and my dad would let me, like, like, it was just like, my dad Likes comedy. He would tape SNL and he would cut out dirty parts in movies so I could watch R rated movies, you know, like, he would, you know. So that was. And I see him do that with his grandkids too. Like, he just like, whatever you're into, I'm into. And you. And because of that, I think what I do is I. Now, as an adult, I see that he doesn't really know that much stuff. But, like, as a kid, I was like, oh, he knows a lot about Martin Lawrence, but, you know, he knows a little bit. But we would, like, go see basketball and comedy and go see theater shows in New York City, like. Cause my dad lives in Queens. When I was a kid. So anyway. But that was it.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah, yeah. When you say he was cutting out dirty stuff from you, but he took you to see Martin Lawrence, was he tweaking when Martin was going there and saying some stuff in front of you while you're like 12, 13 years old?

[Paul Scheer]

The dirty stuff was nudity. So language. Never. Like, I have tapes or I have VHS tapes of Beverly Hills Cop that cut out both strip club scenes in both movies. And also, like, his friend getting shot in the head. So, like, when I saw Beverly Hills Cop for the first time as, like, a person that didn't have the edited version, I was like, holy shit, there's more of a movie here. There's like a first act was missing and, like, a pivotal plot point of both films.

[Eggo Wodim]

So for him, dirty stuff is like nudity and cursing.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. And my dad was not a curse, man. Like, he didn't curse, you know? And I think anything that was like, my dad was. The only thing that we would hit a little bit of, like, friction on was when. And this is such a New York specific, so I apologize. When we were driving because I would work a lot at his pharmacy. Okay. Work. He would bring me to work and I would sit there, and he wanted to listen to Don Imus, who was like a shock jock dj, and I wanted to listen to Howard Stern. And he's like, no, no, no. Howard Stern. Howard Stern was, like, pornographic.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. Okay, I understand. Now would you say, like, your dad, though he was like a chameleon, knew who he was. Don Imus. This is a place where he would go, no, I'm going, Don Imus. And you can have Howard Stern or you can't have Howard Stern. But it was like, no, I'm. This is something I like. Anything else.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't know if my dad fully knows who he is or, you know, what it is. Is comfortable enough to share it. And one of the things I'm always saying to him is like, I'm like, I'm your son. I love you. Like, I don't care. Tell me whatever you want. Like, my dad. Like, my dad will never. Like, this is, like a thing that happened all throughout my childhood. My dad would never tell me who he voted for.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. I labeled him as a Democrat. I was like, oh, you're a Democrat, right? Like that. I don't know why. Because I'm a Democrat, right? Or like. Or I thought I was right.

[Eggo Wodim]

I don't know.

[Paul Scheer]

As a kid, I was nothing.

[Eggo Wodim]

What do you know?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, right. Exactly. And then, like, when. When Trump was running, like the. I was like, well, he's not gonna ever vote for Trump. This guy's a maniac. And. And then he sent me something. It was like a. Something. And it was like, on the bottom, but it was like, I'm trying to think of what it was he posted on his Facebook page. The thing that's kind of like, community is life, community is friendship. Community is this. And I looked at. I was like, that's weird. He's posting that. But I was like. Then I looked on the bottom. It was like, paid for by Donald Trump. And I was like. I was like, hey, dad, you gotta take that down. I was like, that's like a Donald Trump ad. Did you know that? And he's like, oh, oh, I didn't know. And I was like. I was like, okay. And then I called my stepsister, and I was like, like, are they voting for Trump? And she was like, I think. And then it was confirmed by my youngest, her son. He was like, yeah, we were. And then it caused a big rift between everybody. But he won't like it. Like, he's not proud about it. Like, he. He's not going to be like. Like, I would be like, hey, dad, you can't vote for Donald Trump. He'd be like, you know, he's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but, like, you know, but like, you know, the only thing I know that my dad has a very strong opinion about is abortion. And.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay, what's his take?

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. He's one of those guys that wants to control the ladies bodies and.

[Paul Scheer]

But because he's this very Catholic. Okay, Right. We're talking.

[Eggo Wodim]

Goes to church every Sunday, obviously. Goes to the soup kitchen. They need him at the soup kitchen. But, like, we're talking every Sunday. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

We're talking every day.

[Eggo Wodim]

Oh, wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Every day.

[Eggo Wodim]

Every day. We're talking Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

[Paul Scheer]

I brought them to London. They went to church. It was Easter weekend.

[Eggo Wodim]

On vacation.

[Paul Scheer]

They went to church four times on vacation.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wait, how long were you there?

[Paul Scheer]

A week. And that was like, oh, we're missing some church. Like, so, you know, look, and look, there's always gonna be people like JD Vance as real trash bag human about controlling women's bodies. I think my dad's like, no, God doesn't want that. Like, it's like, it's a very. It's not like an opinion. It's like God has said it. Right. I am following God.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Which I. I'm not here to. And, you know, whatever.

[Eggo Wodim]

Comment on you don't want to.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm not commenting. I don't agree. But I. But I will say this. That was not something that I think he was fully on board with until he got married to his wife, who was also going to church every day. My dad wasn't going to church every day until he got married again.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. Okay. So when did your parents separate?

[Paul Scheer]

Split up when I was three years old.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And I. And again, like, so this crazy story about my parents breaking up was they got divorced when I was three, but they pretended to be married until I was five.

[Eggo Wodim]

Whoa.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. So my dad and mom at first would sleep in separate bedrooms. And I. One morning, I remember one night, I woke up in the middle of the night and, you know, you kind of run to your parents room or maybe you don't. I don't. So I was like, running to the parents room, and I walk by and I. I saw my dad in the guest room bed as I was going, and I was like, huh? And I said to my mom, I was like, why is he in there? And my mom's like, oh, the bed's broken and two of us can't sleep on the same bed. Perfect analogy for divorce, too. And I was like, oh, right. And I'm like, okay, got it. And I didn't really, like, you know, when you're a kid, like, you don't have the wherewithal to understand why it's weird. But, you know it's weird, right? I can't put my finger on it.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. Mm. Like, my mom told me that if I didn't brush my teeth at night, ants would crawl around in my mouth. And I was like, that doesn't. I feel like if I woke, I would know ants were in my mouth in the middle of the night. But. Yeah, you can't quite place Something, you.

[Paul Scheer]

Know, it's wrong, but you're right. Yeah. And then. And then what I found out. And like, the very long story short is, like, then my dad started. My dad got his own place. And then he would leave after I went to bed and then get there early in the morning before I got up.

[Eggo Wodim]

Oh, he wasn't even just sleeping in a different room. He was actually sleeping somewhere else. And then coming and taking a little cat nap at 5am wow.

[Paul Scheer]

So it became so. And. And so then they got divorced for real. And. And then, you know, and life goes on. My dad didn't get remarried until actually until I met June. So we're probably saying like 2004, so we're, you know, like, you know, so it was. It was a. Like 30 years. My dad wasn't married or anything.

[Eggo Wodim]

Do you think he was just a playboy in that time or.

[Paul Scheer]

No, No, I think that my dad was making time for me to be like, I wanna be a dad. I wanna be like. I think he understood his boyfriend chameleon status enough that he was like, I need to be all in as a dad.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And if I'm here, like, he said to me at one point, which I think was. Sometimes it's also like. I don't know what's bullshit or what's not, because sometimes we make up stories to make ourselves look a little bit more heroic. But he's like, you know, I knew that I never wanted to miss anything that you did. And there was a thought that if I was in a relationship, I would miss that show. I would. Couldn't be with you on that weekend. I wanted to have that flexibility. And, you know, honestly, I feel that way. I would feel that way about my kids, too. I want to be until they don't need me. If I was in that situation, I want to be 100% available for my kids. I just want to be. I don't want to not be there.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. So, like, he was like, you are now married. You're taken care of someone. You have a family.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm ready to get married, like, now. I was like, you know, almost 30. I was living in LA, you know, it's like. Yeah, like, it was like. It was a different. It was a different set of circumstances. Right.

[Eggo Wodim]

And it was interesting that you were married. It was like, not until I got married.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, yeah, like. Well, it's like I got married to June. After I got married to June, I think June and I were dating in about 2005. I think my dad got married in, like, 2005, 2006.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

I remember June went to the wedding with me, and then June and I got married in 2009. So, yeah, so it was like I met her when I was dating June. So it really was. And look, I had long term relationships before June too. But I think it was at this moment where it was like, you're. You've left. And there might have been, like, also a part of, like, loneliness for me. I always. I mean, and that's the other thing too. Like, I want to be clear on this. Like, I always wanted my dad to be married. I wanted my dad to have somebody, you know, like, the thought of having my dad alone was hard for me to deal with. Like, oh, he doesn't have anybody. Like, he's going back. Like, when he would drop me off at my house, I would get really sad, like, oh, he's going back to be alone.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Meanwhile, I look at that now.

[Eggo Wodim]

Grass is always greener, though. That's what everybody keeps saying to me. Everyone's like, grass is always greener. But okay, you said he didn't want to miss anything. At least that's what he tells you.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

Did he miss anything? Did he miss any of your shows? Did he miss anything that you really wanted him to be at?

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, my dad was. Was such a staple at UCB Theater. It was third row against the wall. My dad saw me do a show where I was a robot. He saw me rip off people's dicks in a bloody show called Kilgore. Like, he saw everything.

[Eggo Wodim]

So Mr. Shear was always a comp at UCB, a comps ticket.

[Paul Scheer]

And people love my dad. And he was always like, hey, oh my gosh, guys, that dildo circus, that was hilarious. You know, like, you know, he's just.

[Eggo Wodim]

Like, okay, but he's watching you do dildo Circus, but he's super cath. And now that you're doing your thing.

[Paul Scheer]

And you're passionate about your thing, I could never. I. I look back on it now and go, oh, wow, that stuff must. I mean, we were doing stuff that was not anti religion, but like, you know, I did a show called George Bush is a motherfucker that Adam McKay Co wrote and co directed. So it's like that was the show. And the other show I did was like Getting High with George W. Like, it was like, like, these are politically based shows that we were doing at UCB that he was coming to see multiple times and never ever expressed anything. And that's why I think I also thought, oh, he's not voting for Trump. He clearly is. Like, he gets it. George Bush is a motherfucker. And, you know, like, you know, he's on this page, and that's not to say that, like, he didn't vote for. I don't know who. Like, he never told me, and he won't. And I asked him about it one time. I said, what is it? Like, why won't you tell me? He's like, well, I just grew up in a. A world where that's private. And I go, but you realize, like, I'm not gonna love you less. Like, you vote for Trump. I. I don't agree with it. I don't agree with it. And, and, and. But I'm. I also understand the reason why you're voting for Trump is one issue and one issue only, and it's abortion. And I'm never gonna convince you otherwise of abortion, because my dad is one of those people, like, you know, they. They take out babies at nine months. I'm like, yeah, it's called labor, you know.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, and so. So. But I can't get there with him. I'm not gonna, like, I'm not going to sway him. And I found myself going, I could either have a relationship with my dad where I'm constantly confrontational and being like, why are you voting for, you know, this. Why are you voting for this? Get behind Hillary, get behind me. Or I could say, that has to be on the side, and I love you for who you are.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And that's it. Because it's like, you know, like, I was like, well, he'll definitely gonna vote for Biden, because Biden's Catholic. Right. That's. That's straight down the middle. Catholic, right? Nope. Nope.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow. Did it ever get confrontational with you guys? Was it starting to threaten to get like, oh, now we're gonna have this?

[Paul Scheer]

I don't bring it up.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Because it's like, it's. It's not. It's. To me, it's like. And I know we're supposed to have these conversations with people, but I also feel like it's. My dad is not. Talk to me. Tell me if I'm wrong on this, because I want to be. I want to be open to fearless.

[Eggo Wodim]

I'm not a good arbiter of these things, but I'll try. But tell me. Go ahead. You can tell.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, I 100% am pro choice. I believe that it is. Everybody's body is their own choice. Whatever you want to do. But in the grand scheme, of things, if that's what my dad believes. My dad is pro life. He lives in New York, which is ultimately a blue state. It's not going to really be affecting that much stuff. He's not a racist. He's not going out there, you know, shooting guns, doing crazy shit like, like, it's like it's a religious belief that he's got on the side. I was like, it's not worth trying to undo years of religion. It's never going to happen. Right. Like, I can, I can have conversations with him about, like, you know, we, like, you know, we both read Cast, you know, and like, he had opinions about that. I guess what I'm saying is he's problematic, but he's not also problematic in a way. That's like, it, like, that's like.

[Eggo Wodim]

I feel like, yeah, what I'm hearing at least is that you're like, listen, he believes what he believes. He believes it for religious reasons. His religion is very important to him. The man goes to church seven days a week. Okay. And so I understand as his son and having seen him devote himself to his religion in this way, there's really no way for me to get in there. So what my actual options are is to let him know that I don't believe in what he believes in. I don't agree with it. I'm disappointed he's voting that way. I also don't expect to change him. And I say, and. As opposed to. But because it does. I don't want to negate everything I said before that, but it's like. And I know it's really unlikely that I will be able to change your vote on this one because you are one tracked mine here. Is that right?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, that. And that's. And, you know, like, and then there was like one moment where he said to me, this is the most I ever got into it with him.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And he go, you know. Because they'll be like, well, they're both the same. You know, all these politicians are corrupt. I'm like, well, that's a, that's a bullshit answer. And I was like. And I go like, just look at it like this. I was like, I think when you look at the effect that, that Trump can have on the queer population, like, you know, and he's like, well, no, he, he's actually very, he's very accepting of that. I'm like, here's a website you can look at that shows how every policy has been almost aggressively anti gay.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. And then.

[Paul Scheer]

And you know, and, and he's like, oh, oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. But it's not gonna change his vote, because at the end of the day, that doesn't trump the abortion issue, which is the one issue when they say.

[Eggo Wodim]

Single issue voter, that's a very real thing. And I also think that, at least in my experience, I am of the mind that something about getting older and being stuck in your ways and so sure of yourself causes you to be quite inflexible.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

And it is. I've said to people that as I age and just talking to people about their parents, friends about their parents, and what their experiences are with them and those conversations, how those conversations go, I say, I want to be a person who, when I'm older, I am flexible enough to change my mind. So when you say you present your dad with a website that here are all the ways that Trump is anti gay and is opposed to the LGBTQ community, and he goes, oh, I didn't know that. But he's still gonna vote the way he votes. I'm like, my hope is that when I'm that age, that new information will penetrate my psyche and I'm able to change my mind. That's a real hope I have. Just hearing how infrequently that happens.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. I think that we are all. You know, there's somebody who said something the other day that really resonated with me, and it was like, our parents and their parents, there's a very narrow gap between how they were brought up and how their parents were brought up. But between us and our parents, it's a giant chasm.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Where what we are aware of, what we're exposed to, what we live in are like it. And so it's actually like a. It. It is a shocking difference. Like, our parents are much more like their parents than we are like our parents. And I just think it's like, yeah. And I like. And I think we will be people who are open to things. You know, Look, I think that, like, when you. There's uncomfortable conversations happening all the time, and I often try to be like, I can't express an opinion publicly unless I understand it enough. Like, there's emotional components to things, but I'm like, I want to understand it because I want to get in front of it, but it's like. And I feel like I don't want to make snap judgments, and I hope that stays with me. Like, I don't get too caught in my ways, you know? You know, there's things I get irritated by. But it's like. But very rarely are they social or cultural issues. It's like, whatever.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right, Right. Can I. Can I ask just the way you've described your dad and how great and present of a father he is and. And has been, would just given the. The boyfriend chameleon thing and the reticence to share with you who he's voting for, and you kind of had to find that out on your own. Would you describe your dad as an honest person? Would you. Do you consider your dad an honest person?

[Paul Scheer]

I would consider him a loving person who I think is very concerned about not being loved and will give you the answer that he wants, that he thinks you want to hear. And I don't think that that makes him dishonest because I actually don't think, like, I think it's all about weighing in what situation and who am I talking to. And it's like, I want to connect with you so bad that I want you to like me. I want you to feel comfortable with me that. I don't know. At the end of the day, oh, my dad likes X, Y and Z. He's been a supporter of me. He loves my kids, he's there for me. All these things are true. But there are certain things. And I said to him the other day, I said, I'm your son. I was like, you can talk shit with me, you can be mad at me. I was like, I can be mad at you. I was like, this is for me. I was like, I wanna have a relationship with you where it's like, you don't have to pull your punches. You don't have to be worried about it. But I think it's hard for him to do. But I think he's also trying. I think after I wrote this book. Cause I talk about some of this stuff in my book. And he's read it and he's read it, and he was very supportive. And it was, you know, and one of the things. And I'm probably dropping this way too late, but it's in the book, is, is my mom got involved with a man after she and my dad divorced who was incredibly physically abusive. And we lived in a very abusive home situation.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And one of my biggest things with my dad was that he never, like, got in there to help take it out.

[Eggo Wodim]

And he was aware of it.

[Paul Scheer]

He was aware of it because I would tell him and he was, you know, and he actually even got into a fight, went a physical fight with this man. The guy kind of attacked Him. And so he saw it as firsthand. And. And when I talked to him about it years later, you know, he would be. I didn't know. I thought you were exaggerating. I thought this. But you were also there. You saw this. Like, I. I think that, like, his fear of. I don't know where that. You know, I told him, you know, we've had these conversations. I put it in the book and I said, I don't need an apology from you. I don't. Like I said. But I. I would love you to figure out why you did that. Because now, as a dad, I know that if I saw that happening, I don't know what I would do, but I would do something.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right. Right.

[Paul Scheer]

And. And maybe people don't have the tools. So it's a very complex relationship because it's like, you can know that you are loved, you can know that you are supported. You can know that you are 100% in a relationship where somebody cares about you. But there also are these things that are ingrained in them. And I try very hard as a dad to center my kids. And the way I kind of think about it is you never know what your kids are thinking. So it's sort of like. I got this great advice from a child psychiatrist early on. My wife's dad passed away when my oldest son was three years old. And death is a thing. And I said, well, how do we bring up death to him? And she's like, my rule of thumb is never lie. Don't tell your kid you're gonna have ants in your mouth. But don't go. But don't. Also, don't lie and be concise. And that has been something that I've really taken to heart, where I. I say, you know, I'll say something like, you know, so and so passed away, and that's the last time we're gonna see him. So we wanna remember him right now. There's no talk of, oh, he's in heaven, and he's looking down and there's a thing, and he's. You know, it's like, just simple. And so I also find, like, when my kids are scared or my kids are worried about something, instead of me trying to make it better for them, I go, what are you nervous about? I wait and I let them tell me what they're afraid of, because my fears about what I think they could be are different. I'm an adult, they're a kid. And so, yeah. And so I try very much to center them. I don't Always do it right. I'm sure I'm gonna mess them up in some way too, but I try to be like, on their level, be an ally for them and just let them know no matter what. Like, my son made a decision last night and he didn't want to go back to camp because he didn't like the way that the camp counselor was yelling at other kids. Wasn't yelling at him, but it made him feel uncomfortable that this camp counselor was yelling at people. And he's like, I don't want to go back.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And I said, okay. And I said to him, like, he was standing there and I said, I just want you to know that I am so proud of you for having your own knowledge of that made you uncomfortable. You don't want to be there and you felt comfortable enough to share that. And you also don't want like. Like I want to applaud that.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, yes. Is that pain in the ass for me now to figure out what to do with my kid that he's not in camp? Is that it paid for?

[Eggo Wodim]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. But I want to applaud that he made a really good decision that was uncomfortable for him to share with us and articulate.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And I want to like, you know, so anyway, you know, I make a lot of fucking mistakes too. But I mean, I just try to do.

[Eggo Wodim]

Of course. I mean, my big thing that I've talked about is the moment you realize, be it a moment or a period in life when you realize your parents are just humans who are trying their best. And even with all the tools I feel like I have now via therapy and the things I've read and the developments in psychology that I listened to on podcasts, I'm like, we're all going to fuck up the people we're connected to in some way, shape or form.

[Paul Scheer]

We all got stuff.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah, we all have stuff. I mean, with your kids, when this child psychologist says, just be concise and don't lie, do you worry that they're gonna ask you a bunch of follow up questions? I feel like I was one of those kids that was like, well, no, explain that. Explain that further. So, like, I don't know if you could be concise with me as a kid.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, you know, like, this is another technique that she taught us, which I thought was good too. Ooh, that's a good question. I gotta think about that. We gotta look at that. Let's. Let's figure that out. Oh, that's a good question. Oh, I don't know, like and just, you know, and it's not even. It's cause it's like, like, that is a good question. It's kind of like saying like. And if you come back to it in about an hour, we'll look, we'll go a little bit deeper. But if you like, if it just drops, like, I think what kids often do when they ask these questions are they don't feel satiated by it. It's like you're not full. Right. But if you give him an answer that doesn't seem wishy washy, it's like, grandpa is dead. We're never gonna see him again. We have him in our memories and today is the day we're gonna say goodbye to him.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

There's not that many follow up questions there, but if I start saying, grandpa's in heaven, he's looking down on us and he's. And he's smiling at you right now, it's like, wait, wait, where is he? How is he there?

[Eggo Wodim]

What's going on? Yeah, right.

[Paul Scheer]

So you start asking all these things. It's like, like, what is dead? Well, dead is. He passed away, he had cancer. And then there's certain things that you like. And I feel like when you start to polish something, it gets, it gets tricky. It gets, you know, so anyway, again. And yes, they do ask follow up questions. Like, my kids have like, bombed me at dinners. Like in the middle of. Apropos of nothing. We're talking July 4th or not July 4th. We're talking like middle of June. He's like, it's Santa real. Oh, well. Oh, well. Interesting. Yeah. Why? Why? What makes you ask? You know, so it's like, yeah, and I'm buying time while I'm asking. You know, while they're asking, I'm like, oh, that's interesting. I didn't think about it like that. Yeah, I mean, I always knew it like, and I play a little bit dumb. I'm like, I always knew it like this.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, is Santa real? I'm like, hold on. But if the answer is tell the truth and be concise. Your kid asks you, santa real. It sounds like you're supposed to be like, no, well, and this is.

[Paul Scheer]

And this is. And that. And that's the trickiest one because the Santa one is a tricky one. Because I think that you very rarely ever hear a kid going, like, my parents lied to me about Santa. Like, you know, like, it's like, it's part of the fun of the myth. But you have to also know when to rip that band aid off. So my 10 year old was on the fence and he was like, dad, I'm the only one who believes in my class. I'm beginning to think that Santa isn't real. And in that moment, I had a choice, which was to go, I double down. I make him be the only kid in class who still believes in Santa. And I create a lie because he believes me and he trusts me. Or I go, he's not real.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. Cause the other option of also making him look like a dumbass in front of his classmates, and then he goes, my dad set me up to look dumb at 10 years old in front of my classmates. Not cool. That would be. That would be a big breach of trust. Then I think that makes sense.

[Paul Scheer]

And I think that there's something magical about Santa. Tooth fairy, those little things that make childhood fun, right? And it's like. And I've seen the parents, we don't tell kids about Santa and we don't do this. I'm like, okay, fine. Christmas is big in our house. We love Christmas. It's a nice tradition. It's not something that I'm like, I'm not making Santa the end all be all of everything. But it's imagination. It's magic. And what I said to my son when I told him about Santa was. I was like, not real. But here's the thing. There was somebody who was this man named, and I believe my dad, all this research named Nicholas, who would. There was a poor couple in town, he put some money down their chimney, and this is like a true story. And I was like, and that's real. And everyone in this town and, you know, I was like, got so excited by this that they were like, I want to try to do that for people who are in need as well. And then that keeps on growing and growing and growing. So I am in a way Santa, and mom is in a way Santa. Cause we're keeping this tradition going. And now you get to come with us to keep that tradition going.

[Eggo Wodim]

And Santa is spirit.

[Paul Scheer]

Santa is spirit.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yes. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, and it's like. And it's like. And it becomes like, I didn't lie to you. It's like, I'm not saying, you know, I'm just like, I'm trying to, like, bring you into something which is fun. Like, it was fun. And it's like. And they wake up in the morning, they have a magical thing. And everyone in the class is like, believing it. Like, at a certain age is believing in Santa. And they're Excited for Santa. Like, I want my kid to have that. Like, there's so many shitty things in the world. Like, pull off that band aid when it's the right time again.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Right time. You know, that nine years old, he knows that there's no Santa. That's when he found out, because he did enough deductive reasoning that it doesn't make sense. And I decided, like, yes, I'm following that.

[Eggo Wodim]

And if your kid's like, 15 and still believes in Santa, Paul, do you. You're like, I would. You would be worried about that if your kid was 15 and still believing in Santa, right? If you were. If your kid.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, if my kid was 15 and still believing in Santa, I would think it was weird. I talked to somebody who said that his sister believed in Santa until 16 and had a full meltdown.

[Eggo Wodim]

Oh, my gosh. Had a driver's license, potentially, and believed in Santa. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

John Hodgman also believed and had a meltdown. Like, it actually does some real destructive stuff to you.

[Eggo Wodim]

I don't think I grew up Christian. I don't think anyone ever mentioned Santa to me. I understood that kids believed in Santa, and I was never the. Like, I'm gonna go tell kids he doesn't exist. I don't think anyone told me he existed or didn't exist. I knew people at school believed, and I. It just wasn't a thing to me one way or the other to be like, he's real. He's not. Same with the tooth fair. I don't. Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

It's like. It's. It's sort of like whatever family you come up in. Like, look, we. We also live next to, like, you know, like, a family who is Jewish, and they. And their kids are the same age as our kids. And I could see them like, elf on the shelf. What the fuck is that? You know? And it's like. But. But they also keep it going because it's like, well, our job isn't here.

[Eggo Wodim]

To be like, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, it's like everyone. Like, it's like everyone's got their own thing, right? And you just want your kid. I mean, the biggest thing is I just want my kid to be normal, right? Like, you know, like, if everybody's believing in Santa, you can believe in Santa if, you know. You know, like. But I'm also not going to be like, ooh, Santa. You know, here he is, and here's a letter. You know, it's like, you know, I'm just going to do. You know, but it's also like, part of the fun for me is, like, I'm a dad who wanted to make it fun for him. And he may look back on that and go, like, you told me Santa wasn't real. I'm like, that could be a mistake in the. In the future. Who knows, right?

[Eggo Wodim]

Well, who knows when. What decision I make here will mess you up. What kind of relationship do you want to have with your kids? And if you don't mind reminding us how many kids you have.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eggo Wodim]

How Many?

[Paul Scheer]

I have two kids who are currently 7 and 10. They're both boys.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And they go to the same school. My oldest is going into fifth grade, and my youngest is going into second grade.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

So that's where we're at. And, you know, for me, what I really want is to be an ally for my kids. Whatever they want to do, however they want to be, however they want to live, I want to be an ally. And being an ally is different than being a friend. But it's, I think, more similar to being a parent. Like, I am there to support you. I want to have a relationship with you where you can talk to me about whatever you want. You don't feel. It's weird. You feel like I'm trustworthy. You also feel like you can, like, tell me secrets or you can, you know, like, I wanna. I want to create a bond with you. And I had that certain bond, you know, with my. With my dad. I would tell him, oh, my people are smoking cigarettes, or da, da, da, da. You know, it's like, I want them to feel like, hey, look, I wanted, like, I'm gonna drink tonight. Go, go, drink. Like, all right, but like, let's. Let me. I'll help you out or I'll pick you up. Like, I want them to not be afraid of me, but also, I don't know the term, and I'm sorry. I wish I was better. Better. Verbiage to your. But it's like, I want them to be afraid of me, but also not be afraid of me. Like, I'm always going to be their parent. And I want to hold that as a thing.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

But I also want them to be able to come to me with anything and know that I'm not going to judge them or make them feel bad or that I will be like, no. You know, And I think that's a tough respect.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right. Part of me, when I. What you just described. Sometimes we have so many words in the English language. I was just telling my therapist this yesterday, but I'm like, sometimes I can't find the right one to say what I'm trying to say. And there are other languages that do have those words. But what you're describing to me sounds like respect, where it's like, I revere and thus to some extent, fear. This person. It's a healthy fear, like respect.

[Paul Scheer]

It's always going to be your parent. Like, it's like that. And that there is a. There is a status. There's a status there that will never change. I will always be your dad. I will always be the person who gave you birth. Like, you know, so. And there's a responsibility set that comes with that.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

And we're never going to be equals. And I'm okay with that. Although we can talk as equals. Yeah, you know we can. But I'm never like, you know, like, I want to be the cool boss. Like, I'm still the fucking boss.

[Eggo Wodim]

I'm the boss.

[Paul Scheer]

But we're gonna, like, you know, we're gonna have casual Fridays. They're gonna bring in an ice cream trip, is all life is gonna be. At the end of the day, though, I'm signing your paycheck. I'm telling you, you know, that's it. You know, and also, I think a part of that is like, allowing them. You know, it's like, I think the parents who wanna be friends or be cool to their kids, like, I want my kids to think I'm cool, but I'm not trying to. I actually don't care if my kids think I'm cool. I just want them to love me.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Honestly, that's all I want them to do. Love and feel comfortable with me and everything else will come to pass.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. It's interesting even to hear you go through. Okay. I think I want. I want them to feel this. I want them to feel this. It's. It just sounds like being a parent is complicated. Again, I'm not one. It just sounds like it's such a complicated thing and endeavor.

[Paul Scheer]

You have years of getting used to it when you become a parent. I always say that you should never have a kid unless you're 70% ready. You'll never be 100% ready. If you're 100% ready, you're insane. Because you're not acknowledging that a child is a giant life choice. Right, Right. That will change everything.

[Eggo Wodim]

Because you can't control everything that child does. You simply can't. So the notion that you're 100% ready, you're not 100% ready because you don't even know what Kind of you're going to.

[Paul Scheer]

And, and, and, and, and you are constantly learning. You're always going to have a little bit of anxiety because your child is out in the world doing things at certain points and going to doctor. There's so many things. But you get, every year you get a little bit better. Like when you have a second kid, it was easier to do those first months that felt so impossible. But you know, bigger kids, bigger problems is what they always say. Right. They're more complicated. Right. And I, I just think that, that it's important. One of the things I always look to as a parent, I wish I was more like touchy feely with my parents. I think sometimes I'm not and that bums me out. I don't know why. That they're a little not touchy feely.

[Eggo Wodim]

But not one of their love languages. Physical touch.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. And so when I was in this movie year one, Harold Ramis was directing it. And Harold Ramis from Ghostbusters and famous director, but also brilliant writer and actor. He watching him direct this movie, his son and daughter came to set. Son and daughter. I think the daughter was in college, the son was going to college. They're older kids, man. And they were just like hugging up on their dad. He was hugging up on them and they were so, like, it was so loving. And I always look at that and I go like, wow, when my kids are that old, to be that connected to them, them is what I strive for. Because I think when I was in high school, it wasn't exactly like that. I think I've come around to different ways. I think I've, you know, but it wasn't like that. It was like that for a long time, but then it like, then things get a little bit more frayed, you know? You know, it's like, you know, I think some parents will get upset, like, you don't want to hang out with me anymore. What about our Saturday night? But this is. Oh, yeah. I want them to have friends too.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

I want them to have friends. I don't want them to spend it all with me. If they want to spend it with me, I'm happy to, to. But I don't want to say like, oh, you're not spending, you know.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yes. Is physical touch now a love language you're speaking with your kids? Is that, Are you, are you hugging them? Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Great.

[Eggo Wodim]

I love that. Did your dad have that though, growing up? Do you think it stopped with him? Or is it or, or. No, he didn't have that.

[Paul Scheer]

Not like, for himself.

[Eggo Wodim]

For himself. His own childhood was his father.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't know. I don't know. You know, it's hard, right? It's hard to kind of see. No, he. I don't know. Actually, I would say, no, they were not. And. And it's. And it's not to say that he's cold. He'll give a hug. But, like, you know, like, sometimes I just want. Like, when I see my dad, I want him to just be like, hey, give me a hug. And, like, when he first sees me, and it's like, I am the fourth or fifth. Fifth person that gets a hug. Like, whenever. Like, I'm in, you know, it's like. And. And I. You know, I always will say to him, I'll say, you know, I remind. I just want to remind you, I'm the only blood here. Like, you and me, like, they got one son. Yeah, I'm your son. Those are your grandkids. And. And. And, like, it's okay.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, you. Like, June's not gonna be upset if you hug me first.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

Right. You know, it's like, she's not gonna be like, oh, Bill didn't hug me. Like, yeah, you're my dad.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah. It's so fascinating. And all the. You're. I'm your son. You're my dad. I'm your son. You're my dad. But you know what? I will sometimes if I walk into a room where the person I'm closest to, I might hug them last because it's like, well, you know, I love you. Like, I might do that. I might go hug their three. Ah, now you. But I see you all the time, and I love you. But it's so. That. That might be a thing not to.

[Paul Scheer]

I could get that too.

[Eggo Wodim]

But. Yeah, but I understand the desire for physical touch. Did you guys grow up in a household where I love you was verbalized?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, maybe. Like, it's funny because the way that it is in my house is, like, next level. Level.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And my grand. I really always got it from my grandma. I could say, oh, my grandma really showered me with love. Now, my grandma. You could ask anybody, and they would. They would call it the straight up C word for most people.

[Eggo Wodim]

Really? This is your paternal grandmother or. Oh, wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Really rough stuff.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Right? Like, rough.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

But. But was one of the most loving people in. In my childhood.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, so it's weird, right?

[Eggo Wodim]

It's so weird to be like, would your dad also. Maybe not because he's Catholic, Maybe not call his Mom. The C word. But did he have a rough relationship with his mom?

[Paul Scheer]

Well, this is not his mom. This is my mom's mom. That people would call that my dad's mom was loving, but I think pitted her sons against each other.

[Eggo Wodim]

Ooh.

[Paul Scheer]

And you know, like, oh, well, so and so is doing this. Well, so and so is doing that. Like, my. My uncle became a Lutheran, and that was a very big deal in our.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow, a Protestant. Okay. Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

And they're like, oh, how dare. How dare.

[Eggo Wodim]

You know, it was like reality TV juicy in that household. Okay, well, Paul, I'm really, really, really grateful that you spent some time with me. I do. I know I said one more, then I proceeded to ask two more questions. But this is.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, we're not recording this, are we?

[Eggo Wodim]

None of. We haven't recorded any of this podcast. We're not recording any of this. None of this is. This is all.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, I thought this is just you.

[Eggo Wodim]

I just want Paul Scheer to know this entire thing has been off the record.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay.

[Eggo Wodim]

Look at me. Trust me. I wouldn't lie to you. I would not breach your trust. Trust. It's like telling you Santa Claus is real and he's not. I wouldn't do that to you. Okay, I have two more for you. One is. What is something you want to impart to your children? Just hearing how much you want to shower them with love. Hearing how much you want them to see you as an ally and as their parent, not quite a friend. And just feel supported and seen by you. What's something like you would really want to impart to them? Piece of advice or.

[Paul Scheer]

My number one job is to make sure I am raising good humans. Humans who are empathetic. Humans that are supportive, loving, and care for their friends and like, that's. And give them every opportunity to succeed. And also, yeah, that. Like, that really is it. Like, I just want them to be like, my job. I mean, I think especially as a straight white man, my job is like. And I've created two boys. I've co created two boys and white boys. Like, I want to make sure that they are, you know, that they understand their. They understand their place in the world and how to understand that not everything works this way. To be open to these things, it's like, my job is to make them aware and better of everything so they can be good allies, good friends, good relationship partners to whomever they wanna be with. Like, that's my only job is to impart on them that I gotta get them out the door as Good humans. And I'm trying.

[Eggo Wodim]

That's beautiful and refreshing to hear too. Okay. I end every episode of the podcast with a segment where I ask my dad for the day a piece of advice that I'd wanna ask my dad if he were still here. Right. And so as my dad for the day, Paul, I wanna ask you, how do I figure out where to invest my money?

[Paul Scheer]

Okay.

[Eggo Wodim]

What's your advice on investing?

[Paul Scheer]

This is a great, great question. First of all, you gotta start saving. Even at the base level, start saving. And then I am not a person that believe, like if you are going to be investing, there are people that devote their entire. Their job is to invest money. Right. To do this. If I do that, it is getting 1 70th of my day. So what I would say to you is we will find you a very smart person that will be conservative with your money because. And we'll get you into something that will do it the right way. Because there is no, I am not going to be here and lead you down the path of destruction. I want you to like, I want you to save your money because the stock market, all this sort of stuff is always gambling at the level. It's always gambling, right? So let's go in with a professional gambler, right? And you, and you tell them, hey, I want to stay at the five dollar blackjack table, okay. And just slowly, slow and steady, okay? Yeah, that's what I would say.

[Eggo Wodim]

Would you say is there a good way to find that professional gambler? Because I see like, like Rihanna got it seems like screwed over many years ago by her professional gambler. And other famous people have these horror stories of getting over by these, these jobs.

[Paul Scheer]

I think you have to ask people that are wealthy, okay. Who they, who they like. Right?

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

And then, and then you're gonna go on first dates with these people, okay. You're gonna sniff out. I'm. When I, I have a business manager because I'm in this business business and my business manager, I met a few, okay. And you know, you meet a couple and a couple are like, hey, you know, you know, we can, we can do kind of, we can kind of take this stuff over here, we'll put the money over here, we'll do this. And you're like, ah, I don't want that. I went with the guy who was like, who literally the I text, he's like, when your son is born, text me. And the minute it was, he's like, great. We opened up a college bank account for them.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. You know and it's like. And he goes. And he's a person is like, I'm putting the maximum amount of money away for you each year for retirement. Like, I'm like. It is slow, steady, and it's like. But I think it's like, it's all about. Because I. I can come in and be like. I go, yeah, let's. I'm going to tell you right now, crypto is the way to go. We're going to put some money in crypto. We're going to do over here. I have a friend. We're going to actually move this money over here. Like, once. They sound shady and shifty.

[Eggo Wodim]

They are.

[Paul Scheer]

Let people tell you what they are.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

The person who feels like, I. It's like, I. My two guys. Guys, yeah, they are married. They are very like. Like, you couldn't get more like, suit and tie kind of lovely.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. Square and lovely. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

They're like lovely guys who are not out. They're not like, hey, let's go party. Eat steaks.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

They're like. They're just like, hey, we're gonna do this. This is smart. Let's go. Let's make sure we do this. We'll invest this way. It's. And. And. And they actually even stay out of investment. They go, oh, you can meet with this guy and go, what do you think? He's like, oh, I think you should. If you're gonna do anything thing. I would do this minimal. It's. It's just. And I've never been worried about it. I've never bought it. You know, it's like. Because I have people who, like, buy these houses, my friends. I'm like, how the. Are you affording that house? It's okay. Because my business manager said. I'm like, yeah, but. But then when like a covet or something hits or something, you're gonna be. You're.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

You can sustain it right now. But, you know. Anyway, that's. That's my advice.

[Eggo Wodim]

This is really helpful. No, no, no. This is so helpful. And so I'm hearing, like, slow and steady. It sounds like the conservative guys when it comes to your money, when it comes to business manager, the people who are like, we're not trying to do anything wild. We're. We're very mindful of saving and preserving what you have and trying to make it work for you. But again, doing it smart, Lee. And wisely, and there will be people out there.

[Paul Scheer]

And like, the other thing too is like, if you are. If you're Ryan Reynolds, you have a ton of money, right? Like you can go invest and buy a mobile Mint mobile and you can buy a tequila company. You, you could do all this sort of stuff, you buy a soccer team. But if we're talking about people like us, yeah, you know, we're making money, we're having fun, you know, but it's also like, we're not like, you know, I don't think either one of us is pulling down a $20 million payday. You know, we're not like, we're not like, what do I do with these $100 million checks? You know, like, it's like, no, it's like if you had that money, there's a whole different ball game.

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah, go with the guy who does the stakes. And if you, yeah, go with, yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Go get that guy. Like buy, buy a stadium. Buy a thing. Like, I always think back to this one piece of advice which I've never taken, but I like it in theory. Arnold Schwarzenegger was a millionaire before he got in movies. And the way he did it was he took all of his wrestling money and he bought real estate. And what did he buy? He bought parking garages in la.

[Eggo Wodim]

Wow.

[Paul Scheer]

And like. And that. And he's like, cuz that real estate is always going to stay. And real estate people will say that, but then it's like, well then you become a landlord. And then it's like, well, that's a whole other thing. It's like, and then, then you need to hire a team. If you have the money to buy real estate, then go, right?

[Eggo Wodim]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

But it's also like, why am I buying? Like, I've talked to other people who are more. Has. Have less money than me and they're. I'm buying this, the strip mall. I'm like, what? Why are you doing it? Like, cuz you can.

[Eggo Wodim]

And then you.

[Paul Scheer]

But then you're like, but then if anything that goes wrong in that strip mall, that's your fault.

[Eggo Wodim]

Right? Okay, okay, I understand. I understand the kind of business manager or professional gambler you're describing to me and I feel like I'm going to do a good job job navigating in front of you. No, it is very, very, very helpful. Thank you so much, dad. Thanks, dad. Do you have anything you would like to plug?

[Paul Scheer]

No, just my book. Joyful Recollections of Trauma is available as an audiobook, an ebook, whatever you want to get it as. And if you have read it, I thank you and keep the reviews coming because one of the coolest things about this book has been people have been reviewing it so kindly and that actually helps sell more books. So that's really helpful.

[Eggo Wodim]

Okay. Okay. We are going to be buying and listening to your and it has a.

[Paul Scheer]

Lot of dad stuff. A lot of dad stuff.

[Eggo Wodim]

You know, that's what I'm here for. I'm all here for the dad stuff. Thank you so much, Paul. Really, really appreciate it.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh my gosh. My pleasure.

[Eggo Wodim]

Think Stat is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, Ego Wodem. The show is produced and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Konovskaya with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of Content and Head. Special thanks to Jason Matheny for our show art and Ferris Mashi for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe, just maybe, we'll read it on a future episode.

[Caleb Herron]

Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the so True podcast now on Head Gone. Every week, me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Jewel Foullow, or my actual biological mother Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth, and if we find it, great. And if not, no worries. So subscribe to so True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cat, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the so True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love.