Roy Wood Jr.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim Featuring Roy Wood Jr.

Podcast Information:

• Title: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim
• Host: Ego Nwodim
• Guest: Roy Wood Jr.
• Release Date: October 14, 2024
• Platform: Headgum

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Introduction

In this heartfelt and humorous episode of Thanks Dad, Ego Nwodim welcomes acclaimed comedian and political commentator Roy Wood Jr. as her “Dad for the Day.” Ego, who was raised by a single mother and never knew her father, seeks to explore the dynamics of fatherhood through engaging conversations with father figures. This episode delves deep into Roy Wood Jr.'s personal experiences, his relationship with his late father, and his journey into fatherhood.

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Early Conversations and Setting the Tone (00:02 – 03:00)

Ego opens the podcast by sharing her upbringing without a father, humorously noting, “I don’t think I’m ever going to have one with him because he is, in fact, dead” (00:02). Roy responds with a witty remark, setting a light-hearted yet sincere tone for the conversation:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “How to do it by the grave.” (00:27)
• Ego Nwodim: Playfully acknowledges Roy’s role as a father figure, leading into discussions about fatherhood and practical advice.

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Roy Wood Jr.’s Background and Relationship with His Father (03:00 – 12:00)

Roy delves into his family history, providing context about his father’s influence and legacy:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “My father was a well-established and renowned black journalist in Birmingham, a city that's 75-80% black” (06:23).
• He discusses the pressure of living up to his father’s reputation and the challenges of forging his own identity separate from his father’s legacy.

Impact of His Father’s Legacy (12:00 – 17:00)

Roy reflects on the expectations placed upon him due to his father’s status:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “I became my father” (12:20).
• He shares how this led to both resentment and appreciation as he matured, ultimately understanding the complexities of his father’s life and striving to avoid repeating past mistakes for his own son.

Fatherhood and Parenting Philosophy (17:00 – 25:00)

Roy discusses his approach to being a father, emphasizing work ethic and emotional connection:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “I'd say work ethic and tenacity” (25:37).
• He explains how fatherhood has made him more self-aware and intentional in his actions, prioritizing his son’s well-being over career demands.
• Ego Nwodim: Highlights the rarity of men expressing the desire to be good husbands, linking it to being good fathers.

Balancing Career and Parenting (25:00 – 36:00)

The conversation shifts to the challenges of balancing a demanding career with parenting responsibilities:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “There's still guilt of sending your child to voicemail when he facetimes you before a show” (49:30).
• He shares strategies for maintaining connection with his son despite a hectic schedule, such as scheduling calls before performances and being present during limited times.

Navigating Personal Growth and Fatherhood (36:00 – 44:00)

Roy reflects on how fatherhood has transformed his personal growth and relationship dynamics:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “Having a kid showed me how selfish I was” (38:53).
• He discusses the importance of creating shared spaces and equitable living arrangements, fostering a sense of partnership and mutual respect in his household.

Legacy and Lessons from His Father (44:00 – 54:00)

Roy elaborates on the lessons learned from his father and other father figures:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “I have a great co-parenting partner” (48:43).
• He emphasizes the value of community and multiple father figures in shaping his parenting style, leading to his upcoming book, The Man of Many Fathers, which encapsulates the diverse lessons he has gathered.

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Practical Advice: Dadvice Segment (54:00 – 59:00)

Ego introduces the Dadvice segment, where Roy provides practical wisdom on everyday topics. The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion on online shopping vs. in-store purchasing:

• Ego Nwodim: Asks whether she should return to in-store shopping to reduce returns.
• Roy Wood Jr.: Advises staying with online shopping for its convenience, humorously noting, “We're keeping the shipping industry in business” (57:23).

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Conclusion and Final Insights (59:00 – End)

Ego and Roy wrap up the conversation by reinforcing the importance of open communication and vulnerability in father-child relationships:

• Roy Wood Jr.: “If I share my fears and concerns, he’s more inclined to share his” (55:07).
• Ego expresses gratitude for Roy’s openness, and Roy humorously reiterates his role as a supportive father figure.

Ego concludes the episode by highlighting the essence of the podcast: fostering connections and sharing fatherly wisdom through engaging and candid conversations.

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Notable Quotes

• Ego Nwodim (00:02): “I was raised by a single mom and don't have a relationship with my dad.”
• Roy Wood Jr. (25:37): “Nobody outworked my dad. My dad worked until three weeks before he died with full-blown prostate cancer.”
• Roy Wood Jr. (35:21): “I respect my father, but not enough to sit quietly and not criticize.”
• Roy Wood Jr. (55:07): “If I share my fears and concerns, he’s more inclined to share his.”

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Key Takeaways

1. Legacy and Identity: Balancing personal identity with the legacy of a revered parent can be challenging but also an opportunity for growth.
2. Fatherhood as Personal Growth: Becoming a father can significantly enhance self-awareness, responsibility, and intentionality in one’s actions.
3. Practical Parenting: Establishing routines and setting boundaries, such as scheduled calls and revoking privileges, can foster a stable and respectful parent-child relationship.
4. Community of Father Figures: Learning from multiple father figures enriches parenting approaches and provides a broader perspective on fatherhood.
5. Balancing Career and Family: Effective time management and prioritizing family over career demands are crucial for maintaining strong familial bonds.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Thanks Dad offers a profound exploration of Roy Wood Jr.'s journey through fatherhood, reflecting on his own upbringing and the lessons learned from his father. Ego Nwodim skillfully navigates between humor and deep emotional insights, providing listeners with both entertainment and meaningful reflections on the complexities of fatherhood.

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For more episodes and to explore other insightful conversations, visit Headgum or your preferred podcast platform. Don’t forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts to support the show!

Transcript

[Ego Odom]

This is a Headgum podcast. Hello, I'm Ego Odom, and welcome to. Thanks, Dad. I was raised by a single mom and don't have a relationship with my dad. And I. I don't think I'm ever going to have one with him because he is, in fact, dead.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

How to do it by the grave.

[Ego Odom]

Holl at him, he said, that'll do. It is very funny. Okay, so on this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who are old enough to be my dad.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, thank you.

[Ego Odom]

Or are just dads themselves. I actually don't know how old you are, but.45. You could have been my dad. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

If I was an irresponsible high schooler, I guess.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, yeah. You could have been middle schoolers. Middle school. Yeah. Well, you know, elementary school. Early, early elementary. Late, late elementary.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I know a dude in sixth grade, had a baby.

[Ego Odom]

I know a girl in. Wait, was she in. No.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay.

[Ego Odom]

Because I would have been sad if I said she was also sixth grade and she was in sixth grade and had a baby, which is really wild. And it was. Her boyfriend was, like, at high school or something.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You ever get jealous of people that had a baby in middle school? Like, damn, they got it out.

[Ego Odom]

Sometimes I do.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's how I be feeling sometimes.

[Ego Odom]

I do, actually. I go, they really did get out the way. And like those people who had their babies in middle school, their kids are grown. Grown now. And it's like, yeah, it may be.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

The driver and everything.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay. I'm sitting down with father figures who are old enough to be my dad or are just dads themselves. I'll get to ask the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad. Like, how do I know if the guy I'm dating is right for me? Or what should I look out for? When buying a car? Can you help me change. Change the oil in said car that I am yet to own? Huh? Could you. You seem. You're Southern. You could change oil. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Radiators all out.

[Ego Odom]

Oh, wow. Okay. Thermostats okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Fan belts, too, But I'm more of a tire and brake pad guy. I'm not really an innards of the motor type of person.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Can do it if needed.

[Ego Odom]

If needed. Do you have aaa?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. So if you broke down on the side of the road, you'd call aaa. You're. You're rich now in Hollywood.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know about rich, but I'm.

[Ego Odom]

You have money in the bank.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

AAA is $20 a month. Let's. Let's Establish the metric of what this costs.

[Ego Odom]

I actually don't know how much it costs because I think I have it and my mom pays for it. And I don't even have a car.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I have AAA because it's cheaper than the rental car. Roadside assistance.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I've had AAA since high school when I first had a car.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. AAA is worth the trouble I. I had. I've had it since all the man shit. I just choose not to because I did so much of it for so long that I feel like I've earned the right to pay someone.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

To do it.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay. I respect that. Actually, it's not a matter of you being rich. It's a matter of I've earned this and I'm tired. You can catch my next guest on his CNN show, have I got news for you.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yes.

[Ego Odom]

Please welcome my dad for the day. Roy Wood Jr. Hello. Hello. Roy Wood Jr. Why you didn't clean.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Up this goddamn room, young lady? You know you're supposed to clean that room up now.

[Ego Odom]

Someone. I got someone else to do it. This is what they did. I am too tired to clean up my own shit and I got someone else to clean up this room. Well, thank you for having me, Roy. I'm so happy to have you. This is so wonderful. I. You see, Roy, I didn't even know you were a dad. And then somehow I heard you were a dad.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Your kid is a secret.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Ish.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. What is?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Those who know. No.

[Ego Odom]

And. And people. And the people who don't know, don't. They probably don't need to know anyway. Right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's.

[Ego Odom]

I don't even know how I found out you had a kid because. Well, maybe you said something. Why? Why Secret Ish?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because I live a life where I talk a lot of shit about a lot of weird people. And so he deserves a life that's not in the crosshairs because his dad talks a lot of shit.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I try to give him a space to grow up, you know? Don't get me wrong, I'm not like. It's not Baron Trump level protocols where I have to, like, keep him away from everything. And you never see him. Like, I'm out with my child. I post him from time to time.

[Ego Odom]

On story, but not on Main. Yeah, right. He's like a girl. Like a girl you're seeing.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

If you're, like.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

If you know me, then you know.

[Ego Odom]

I got, you know, my old lady. If you don't know, you don't know. You think I'm available.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And to me, I also enjoy the fact that you don't get to know all parts of me. Yeah, it's not for y'all. It's not for everybody.

[Ego Odom]

Everything about you is not for consumption.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Correct. I mean, I'm out here to entertain. I'm out here to entertain and make my couple of jokes and keep it moving. There are days where, of course, you know, he's an inspiration. I sold a book. The book is rooted around lessons that I learned from my dad that I hope I can pass on to him. The whole conceit of the book is fatherhood. So I don't feel like we yet know what the consequences will be for our kids having too much visibility before they decide to be themselves. So. I grew up in Birmingham in the shadow of my father. My father was a well established and renowned and respected black journalist In a city like Birmingham that's essentially 75, 80% black, right? Birmingham proper is black Black. So my dad was the man. He ran the city. And then I'm walking around with. Junior tagged on to my shit. So there's just certain, I don't know, behavioral expectations or assumptions that were made about me. Like, I just don't know what the price is of being my child, right. So I try to minimize the price for him by minimizing exposure.

[Ego Odom]

You feel, you know, the price of being your father's son, though, because you lived it and now you can say.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, what it was. But I. The price of that was the assumption that I was him. But that was in Birmingham. My dad spoke highly of black people. He defended blackness. He was a champion of all things black for the entirety of his career. So it was more living in a complimentary legacy. I don't have that same love nationally that my dad had locally. There's a lot of people that like me, a lot of people that's indifferent, but the people who don't rock with.

[Ego Odom]

Me really don't rock with me, really.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And you have to be mindful of that, right? Because you won't be mad at me. You don't like me, that's fine. Cool. But the boy is the boy, right? He ain't got nothing to do with this.

[Ego Odom]

Okay?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I don't want my son to ever be in a situation where he feels any type of burden, you know, like that because he's with me. And thankfully, nothing crazy has ever happened. You know, there can be some, please give me a picture moments that can be a little intrusively odd, but even those we've managed okay. And we talked through.

[Ego Odom]

But.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But, yeah, no, you're not going to see me in a commercial with my son anytime soon.

[Ego Odom]

And you don't necessarily want him to be an actor. You're not like, you. You're not like, yeah, you should be on stage as well. You don't have any expectation for him in that regard. Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

My approach to my son is the same as my mother. Whatever you show interest in today, I'm going to give you every resource and asset to explore that interest. And if tomorrow that interest is different, we'll explore that.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But I don't steer him towards anything. I take him with me to work sometimes just so he can understand who I am and what I do. That part of it. Like, those memories of my dad are probably the most fond. When we got to travel together and when I went to the radio station or the TV station with him. So I used to take him around the Daily show here and there. I've taken him up to CNN once or twice so that when I'm dead and gone and he's informing himself on who I am, he has his own memories to add into that, and he's not piecing together everybody else's puzzle pieces. So, yeah, I'll take him to stuff. But he knows I do stand up. I've taken him to sound checks before. He's funny, he has a sense of humor. But I'm never going to go, you must do comedy or you can't do comedy. I don't think he'll be good at comedy because he has two parents that love him.

[Ego Odom]

But didn't you have two parents that loved you? Which one didn't love you? You had two parents. We know that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I grew up in a. Two parents.

[Ego Odom]

Did at least one you felt loved you?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, my mom.

[Ego Odom]

But, I mean, you're dead.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, good dad, bad husband. So that's a conflict.

[Ego Odom]

I mean, I hear, you know, what can we talk about? Good dad, bad husband. I hear from so many men in just casual conversation, I can't wait to be a dad. I can't wait to be a dad. I'm gonna be such a good dad. And I so rarely hear. I don't think I've ever really heard actually a man go, I can't wait to be a husband. I'm gonna be a good husband to someone. I've never really heard that. And I think that's unfortunate because they say that part of being a good dad is being a good husband to your partner and having your kids witness that. That one of the best things you can do is be a good husband. But I so rarely hear a man say, I want to be a good husband.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because you didn't see good husbands.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So why would I strive for that? I never saw it, so I never even consciously understood the concept. I mean, I get it now. You know, even in a co parenting capacity, there's still a degree of understanding of, oh, well, anyone I'm dating. Which is why it's interesting. Like, if I meet a woman who goes, I don't want kids. Well, then in my mind I'm like, well, we can't really do anything. Do you not want to have kids or do you not fuck with kids at all?

[Ego Odom]

It's different. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because no matter what, this is a step parent situation you're potentially walking yourself into. So we cannot.

[Ego Odom]

But if a woman says, oh, it's that I don't want to have them. I don't want to do that to my body, you're like, okay, there's still.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Potential there that we'll see. Oh, it's not a green light.

[Ego Odom]

Okay, it's still a.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

We'll see is.

[Ego Odom]

It's a yellow.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It said, let's continue, but at some point I gotta peep game on your energy towards children and the ideology of raising a child and then adding in the equation of co parenting on top of that. So the idea of understanding that your child needs to see love in a positive light or in some sort of construct, ideally, you keep the home together.

[Ego Odom]

No other man.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But in the sense of the triangulation of three people within the space, all having love and appreciation and respect for one another, if you start there, then you got something.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, that makes sense. Now you said something earlier, which is that the expectation of you considering who your father was was that you would be your father. I'm presuming that felt like pressure for you. Is that true or what exactly did that feel like for you to have people expect for you to be your father?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's a little different. The irony is that I became my father.

[Ego Odom]

I think so. By the way, if I'm allowed to say that might be rude. I don't even know him. But in the little bit you said about him and the whole setup and how you felt and how your son might feel right now, I'm like, I think you were him in a different way. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

To a degree. But. But the, the idea of the pressure I rejected because I resented him when I. When I got older.

[Ego Odom]

You resented him when you got older?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, it was Until I got older.

[Ego Odom]

Why?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So? My dad died when I was 16.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So, you know, just for perspective, my father was a civil rights journalist and an activist, and he co founded the National Black Network, which at its time in the 60s, was a syndicated news radio program informing black people about black issues. It was the only thing of its kind. Nothing existed before it. He was embedded in pretty much every atrocity that affected black people from the 1950s through Rodney King. He covered physically on the ground there. Vietnam, Korea, Rhodesian civil war, Zimbabwe. Now, he was there for that Soweto riots in South Africa, was there for that civil rights movement, of course. So he was a revered and trusted voice in the black community when it came to tackling issues about race. And so by the time he got to Birmingham, that was what he was known for. His commentary was biting. And he challenged local leaders, white politicians, like, my daddy was on your ass with that microphone. And so, you know, that made him respected and revered. So the assumption when you see someone that is, like, done everything the right way, professional, you assume that private life, everything is humming and it necessarily wasn't. And so, like, just for perspective, without even getting into all of it, but it's enough detail to give you the understanding. I'm the ninth of 11 kids. I'm my mother's only child, so you do the math on that. So that's. That's the type of person, the dichotomy of man. And so he was a behemoth on radio, right? So when I graduate from college from Florida A and M, and I come back home to Birmingham and I start interning at the station where my father used to work. It was the black station, you know.

[Ego Odom]

And he's no longer alive at this point.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Most black people in radio in Birmingham owe their career to my father. Just on the sense of he hired you. Most people at that time, especially over a certain age, you either worked with my father or you were hired by him. So that afforded me a degree of accessibility within the city off of his name because they respected him, they respected me. But now it's, man, you just like your dad.

[Ego Odom]

You a chip off the whole block, right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Used to drive me up the fucking wall.

[Ego Odom]

And that was driving you up the wall when you were in college and.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You were up there interning when I graduated college and I came home to intern in Birmingham over what would eventually become a 12 year arc in morning radio. While I did stand up, but this idea of, all right, you did your thing, I am going to work so hard and be so Good. And be so funny that I'm going to make people forget your name. I'm going to erase you from the memories of the people who claim they love you.

[Ego Odom]

But then there's the junior of it all. And then you have the same ass name.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I didn't calculate that at the time.

[Ego Odom]

You didn't think about that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

The only thing I wanted was to stand on my own. And when you see me, you see me. You never see him. You don't even think about him. You think about me and the idea of this independence, breaking off from his legacy and being able to say, well, you know, yeah, you did your thing with the journalism stuff, but I'm over here and I'm funny and people love me the same and it has nothing to do with you. And then you look up. And then once I hit my 30s, my comedy becomes more political, my comedy becomes more opinionated. And then when I have my child, all hell breaks loose. In terms of the types of really societal stuff I want to break down point twice. Look up. I am a funnier version of my father attacking the same issues. And in fact, what I do in the way I do it only strengthened the connection that people have between the two of us because they see what I do as an extension of him.

[Ego Odom]

And you just, you can't shake it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But it is. It is an extension.

[Ego Odom]

It is. But that's. And you want it right now. It's fine. It is. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's like any kid, you know, I didn't get to go through my rebel, I hate my father phase because he died when I was a teenager, like 14 through 16. Cancer got him pretty good. He died when I was 16. That's the rebel. Fuck you. You don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I went through that entire phase without him and then still have to come right back around and go, yeah, the home life wasn't what it was supposed to be. But damn, man, you was right about this, this, this, this, and this. All the speaking engagements used to make me drive you to where I will watch you speak about this, this, this and this. Man, that same stuff happening right now, and it's just clearly obvious and it's like, yeah, it's very interesting.

[Ego Odom]

So today, would you say that your feelings towards him are that of resentment or appreciation? Obviously, it's not a binary and it can be a little bit of both. But you said I started to resent him when I got older. Are you. Are you saying that's where you live right now? Or it's not resentment. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's just. It's. It's understanding. It wasn't. There wasn't the best move, you know, on the family side of the game. But I can look at that with maturity now and understand how to move. So I try not to make the same mistakes for my son.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And then identify the parts of. The parts of our parents that we want to keep and the parts that we can just discard.

[Ego Odom]

Right. I know you're private about your son, so I'm pass on this question if you'd like to. I'm just fascinated by the Junior of it all. Is your son a third?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hell, no.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay. Given how private you are, I was like, it might be a no. Okay. You knew you didn't want to do that to him because of what you felt by just having the Junior attached, and you didn't want to do that. Okay. Now your own man, right?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And if they know you're related to me, they'll figure it out.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Now, did. Were you your father's first son? So you're his. He has 11 children. You're the ninth. Were you his first son?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

No.

[Ego Odom]

So he just didn't want to name the other's Junior, I guess. Do you have any idea why? He was like, not this one, not this one, not this one, but this one one here. Cuz now look at you. You're literally like, what you're describing to me. Obviously, I've never met your father. I'm like, yes, you do really become your parents in so many ways, even as you try to be.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Now that one will be the third.

[Ego Odom]

And I'm like, damn, Imagine being one of the other boys. Like, I couldn't get the junior. Why didn't he get the Junior?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'm sure there's some beef. I'm my mother's only child.

[Ego Odom]

Sure.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't think she cared either way, but maybe.

[Ego Odom]

And okay, maybe for him, maybe that piece of information. I really wish we could bring him back right now and ask him why you got the Junior.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I guess I don't think we can get shit out of him. Old black people don't be sharing, communicating too much.

[Ego Odom]

I'm gonna. You know what? I'm gonna go ahead and say, yes, that's true.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Old black people don't share shit but recipes. I'm like, if you don't give me your trauma so I can sort out what the fuck is wrong with me.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Asking all these questions. I feel like I sense my mom getting tense anytime I start to be like. So when you were. I had a friend tell me this. She's like, I was talking to some healer, and they were saying that you can get so much information about the way you are day to day and in the world based on how your mom was feeling when she was pregnant with you. Was she in an anxious state? Was she feeling positive and thriving? And so she's like. And I talked to my mom about how she was feeling when she was pregnant with me, and she was like, I was so scared because we were undocumented and this, this and that. And so, like, I'm gonna ask my mom because maybe I can figure out why. The way my mom was like, what are you talking about?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

She was like, why? Why are you asking me this? I'm not trying to talk to you about this.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Instead of actually. Instead of actually sitting for a second and sitting with it, you gotta ask repeatedly for years.

[Ego Odom]

Yes, that's true.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So that's true.

[Ego Odom]

It's nice to hear that that's not just my experience, because that is my experience now in terms of how things were at home. And you talk about how it just. It wasn't quite right or the way it was supposed to be. Were you aware of that as a young person? Or is that something you started to realize when you got older, that this wasn't quite right and your house wasn't.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Like other people's house? I mean, like, just for perspective. I mean, there were nights that my dad would be. You know, I have two younger half siblings, so my dad would be over there. So there'd be nights a day and.

[Ego Odom]

Come home and you'd know he was over there.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But it didn't really. The lights was on. There was food in the fridge. Okay. This doesn't. If that's. If that's what you've grown up in, then that's all you know. So. Yeah, I went to some other people's homes, and their daddy was home every day. My daddy's just not home every day. And that's just how I process. I didn't think about it in the sense of the black family bond.

[Ego Odom]

And you're not. No, you just. Yeah, it's just like this.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hey, Mommy, $10 for the field trip to my. Well, your daddy. Yes. You ain't gonna be able to go on a field trip. Okay.

[Ego Odom]

Really?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

All right, cool. Call them over at the other house. Hey, $10.

[Ego Odom]

Would you have to call yourself?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, my mom wasn't gonna call and.

[Ego Odom]

Ask for your dad.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Wow. How old were you when that started.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Or do you remember whenever you need $10 as a kid, like, wow, 13, 14, like, yeah.

[Ego Odom]

And you weren't tripping. You were like, this is what it is. It's. This is different than my friends.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But how can you miss what you don't? You know what I mean?

[Ego Odom]

That resonates with me so deeply because I have said on this podcast already a million times over, it's part of why the podcast exists is that I didn't have a relationship with my dad. And I think people want to go, oh, I'm so up. And I go, my parents got divorced when I was a baby. So even the notion of divorce and how painful or dramatic that might be for a household, I'm like, didn't see it, don't know it. My mom raised me. I had a lot of family around me. I have two brothers, older brothers, I have tons of uncles. And so I'm like that thing you want me to feel this giant void? I don't really feel it. And so, like, how can you miss what you don't know?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. But then people will turn around and go, well, as a father now, you don't have a reservoir to pull from to nurture and do the thing because you didn't have the man nurture. And even if that's true, I can't go and sit and be sad or cry about that right now. I still have a child to raise. My mind is still rooted in what can I do to connect with my son. And periodically you can go back to the reservoir of thinking about, okay, well, what did my father do in this situation? And that file is empty.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And that can be a little annoying at times, but in the bigger scheme of things, I don't know, I just still feel like there's a job to be done and it's raising kid.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Are there things from your father that you go when you go in that file cabinet that you look at and go, okay, he did give me this. That I can now impart to my son. He did do this thing that I can now do for my son and that I would like to do for my son?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I'd say work ethic and tenacity.

[Ego Odom]

Okay?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Nobody outworked my dad. My dad worked until three weeks before he died with full blown prostate cancer. Didn't take chemo because it would make him too weak to do radio.

[Ego Odom]

Really?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Work ethic, you know, I don't know if that's escapism or lunacy, whatever, but that was his approach to his Craft. And he enjoyed remaining connected to people. My son enjoys that connection. So there's. I'd say that's probably the most evident thing.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But for sure, the desire to talk. That boy is an orator.

[Ego Odom]

Mm. Okay. You. It's in the blood. It's in your bloodline. Yeah, yeah. Did you feel when you were younger, though, did, like, did you guys did have a connection. I know you would go with him to work events, he would take you in the car with him. You would go on these trips, you would get to see him do what he does and be good at it, see him revered by peers and colleagues. But did you feel like you had a connection beyond that, outside of that?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know. Like, in hindsight, probably not. But I never felt disconnected. Like, I never. Like when my dad was gone, I never missed him. So whatever that means. But like, the idea of like, man, when you coming home, dad, so we can hang out, never really had that.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And it really wasn't until, you know, because my father worked in the mornings. He was a morning radio news guy. So my dad was gone before I woke up in the morning. And then my father also worked an evening shift doing jazz. Okay. Jazz station or whatever.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I might see my pop somewhere between 4 to 7pm okay. Like, if it's his week to come pick me up from baseball practice in high school. All right, I see you at 6:30. Practicing every day at 6:30. So there's that. He dropped me off, he right back out the door to go to the radio station. If my mom's a night school, I put myself to bed. I was a latchkey kid.

[Ego Odom]

I was too.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So the idea of having connection never registered consciously in the moment as a child, especially as a teenager. It wasn't until I got older when I started realizing most of my fondest memories about my dad were from travel. So then inherently, the first thing I started doing with my son is making sure that travel is as important as the destination. Like, he had a man, he had an old Cadillac. And this is when we were still. My parents were separated. They got separated after I was born. They didn't reconcile to like maybe fourth grade.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So my mom and I lived in Memphis at the time. That's before Birmingham.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so my pops would drive up to Memphis sometimes to pick me up for the summer and, you know, whatever. And we would. He had this Cadillac and for whatever reason, this Negro put a fucking CB radio in his Cadillac with a big ass CB antenna on the back. His theory was that it was to be able to know where the police were in real time. Because truck drivers snitch on the car.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. On the things. Yes. Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And, man, he must have gave me that damn CB radio and showed me the channel switcher.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I would spend three hours from Memphis to Birmingham talking to strangers over a radio. Just break a breaker. One Nine, Big Smokey D.C. on the radio. Check. Clear. Like, just.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, man.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Sounds stupid, but I used to love that. Like that. That seems fun business. You couple that with my son. Now, this is the cool thing about Daily show and all of that stuff, where I have these opportunities now where I have these weird hookups on stuff. Like, I don't know, most people have courtside tickets and, you know, I can get the latest Nikes before they come out.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I have a friend that works in air traffic control and can walk me and my son into any air traffic control tower in America, and we can just watch air traffic. Traffic controllers communicate with planes. My son that is obsessed with aviation.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Will lose his mind.

[Ego Odom]

That's really cool.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Backstage at Sea World type.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Like, I can be in the back with the tr.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Those are the weird connects. That's. That's my Rolodex.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So the idea of being around my dad while he did anything, I think that was really. That was the cool thing. But to be consciously aware of it in the moment, that this is connection and connection is happening and. Ooh.

[Ego Odom]

I understand.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It was just. I lived in my own world as a latchkey kid. My parents were just more so Co stars.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Yeah. In that world, do you feel proud of your name or pride in the name you have now?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I mean, any issues I have with the name is internal. It's family business.

[Ego Odom]

So you do feel a sense of pride, despite brand.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. My father. My father hired Don Cornelius.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So, you know, it's like, we talk contributions to the culture, the Wood name make contributions to black Americans.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Paid in blood by my dad. You know, I'm lucky enough to not have to get hit with a brick in the middle of a Daily show setting, but. Yeah. When you think about the Wood family and the idea of us having something relevant to say and it being interesting. Yeah. I think I've honored the family name up until this point.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. You said your dad was a good father, Bad husband.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Would you say your father was a good man, in your opinion?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Net positive. But, you know, you lack. In a lot of places. I think we try to boil people down into some sort of Totality. I really haven't even taken time to really think and consider every reason why he may have made the choices he made. But 11 kids, four different women. You're running from something.

[Ego Odom]

Sure. Do you feel you have empathy and compassion for him now? Looking back at some of that stuff. You're smiling. Keep smiling.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Empathy suggests forgiveness.

[Ego Odom]

Mm.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I don't know if you can necessarily, because then that's asking me to get past what happened to me and the stuff that I deal with. And I don't know if I can just wave that off as being all in the game, you know, But I do think with the tools that he had at the time, you know, motherfucker was trying. But I think we often self medicate our problems with alcohol or women.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Or drugs or whatever was his thing.

[Ego Odom]

Women or was it just women or was it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't think so. No, he wasn't. Liquor or drugs.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

No. Like alcohol would mess with his voice. So he just went. He respected his instrument way more than I do. Yeah. I don't. I don't. I think with better tools, he could have done better. If we're talking as a father, and that's the thing you have to be careful about, is that when we are critiquing people in hindsight and what they meant to us, people on the outside looking in who had a different opinion and interpretation of that person can get angry and take offense to it.

[Ego Odom]

And do you feel like you want to protect people's view of him?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know if it's protect as much as just give a full scope of it all. Like, because in my book, I'm going to talk a little bit about, hey, here's some days he didn't come home. And here's how that. Here's how I believe that affected me now at its core, was he just looking for love, you know, and didn't know how to find it? Is that wrong? The search, the how, the how, how.

[Ego Odom]

You do things does matter.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I agree. But we also live in a very unnuanced society and you have to be careful because people will throw out the totality of your work because of one character flaw. And I don't agree with that either.

[Ego Odom]

Sure.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So, yeah, it's. It's definitely a balancing act of figuring out how mad to be and then also just how much respect to still possess.

[Ego Odom]

And you do respect your dad.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I respect my father, but not enough to sit quietly and not criticize.

[Ego Odom]

Sure. But some people would say that to criticize, one could Be an act of love, though, too.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

This is just what happened and this is how it affected me. And I have to be conscious of that because I'm trying to raise a child and I have to make sure I don't make the same mistakes. So I got to dissect everything that happened between me and him.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Were you scared to become a parent at any point?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I'm still scared of parenting. You get the hang of it. But you still don't know if you're doing it right. You don't know if you're gonna. If you've done it right till the kid's like 25.

[Ego Odom]

How old is your son now?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He's 8.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. You got some time to go before you have any sense of am I doing this right or not.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's like, you know, so far. Does he punch other children?

[Ego Odom]

Does he.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Is he helpful? No, he's very helpful. You learn, you assess that first and then from that you're able to chip away. But the idea of being scared, I'm not scared, but I'm definitely, like, worried about, okay, well, how do I solve these problems? I don't doubt that I'll solve the problem, but it's always something new getting presented. Just societally speaking, that just goes against so many other things. You know, Like, I wouldn't be opposed to another child, really, but I had to have. There's a money and infrastructure in place. I wouldn't want to have a child at the expense of the comforts of my first son.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'd rather have one child living good than two children. That's just. I.

[Ego Odom]

Okay, you know, that's not fair. Would you, ideally, if you were to have another child, not only would you not compromise your son's comforts, would you ideally be married to the mother of the second child? Or does that not matter to you?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Being together is important. The construct under which you want to draw it up that, you know, pick a religion, you know.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But yeah, let's live together, please. And so whatever metric your religion or my religion, like, I don't have to have a be all, end all. We must be married or else we cannot do. Marriage as a system is a little interesting.

[Ego Odom]

Right? That's one way to put it. And at the very least, someone.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And that's what they want to do. I don't know if I would be against that.

[Ego Odom]

Against.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But the issue is that most women that want to be married don't want to hear no motherfucker talk about marriage like that.

[Ego Odom]

It's a Measured response. I don't even think you said anything controversial. In fact, it is measured. But the thing that might be off putting to some people who are so fascinated and interested in marriage is that it's like this fairytale for them. And it's like. And so I want you to think about it like a fairytale as well. But it's like. It's not a fairy tale. It's a government contract, and it's a partnership and a business partnership of sorts.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And then people go, well, if you don't want to do it the way I want to do it, well, then we shouldn't do it. So then we shouldn't be together at all. Well, that means you've bought into the idea of marriage and not necessarily togetherness, which is fine, but that just doesn't work for me. But the construct of a child with a woman who does not live under that same roof, I would not want to do.

[Ego Odom]

You wouldn't want to do that?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I wouldn't want to do that.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. What's your favorite part about fatherhood?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Learning. Learning about myself.

[Ego Odom]

I know that's selfish as it is selfish, but. But I think it's interesting. But that's the truth. Is that your truth? If that's the truth, please. I only want truth.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Having a kid showed me how selfish I was. And then when I got my place, you know, when the co parenting arc of my relationship with my son started, I have my place. And then you have your room at my place. Yeah. And so then he's got these Legos he'd be building, right? And we built one or two of the Legos. And then there's just like a shelf near the tv, and I put one of the little small Legos out there. Like, you know, good job basking it. And then it was what we did together. Put that one out there. Look at. Look at what we did. No more dawned on me. I'm like, oh, wait, this is his house too, Right? This isn't your room at my place. And I'm some single bachelor. It's like, yeah, we live together. You're my roommate. Yeah, that's my roommate. My roommate. Get some degree of space and equity. So little things like your books are in the living room on a living room bookshelf. And that seems small, but I gotta figure out what I want to do. I need to make an office for myself. But he'll have a desk in there too. Yeah, this is your space. And so this idea of making room for people is something that I've never inherently had to do. And so to be consciously aware of it and doing it is a serious piece of growth for me.

[Ego Odom]

So you think then having a son in your experience for you has made you better, a better person. At the very least, more self aware.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I would not have achieved what I've achieved in the last nine years if I did not have a child. And the pressure of providing driving me, it is an. It is another layer. It's another level of focus that you cannot simulate. But I think within that, it made everything that I say and do more intentional, more scalpel level, efficient. You know, it's made me want to make sure that every moment I spend away from home is worth it. So it changed the types of things I say yes to.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Because it's not just a gig and some money. This is time away from him when I could be doing dad, dude, bro, shit with him. So I'm not just gonna say yes to everything. So it just made me more efficient across the board.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. It sounds like you take the duty of being a father very seriously. And there are things you enjoy, including learning about yourself. But do you find it fun? But you're like, I'm gonna say no to being on the road. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. That's why the CNN show is so dope. Because I get to be in town on weekends now.

[Ego Odom]

Oh, nice. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I get to be in town on weekends, and actually, if I want to go somewhere with him during the day on a Saturday, I can. I haven't had that since 2015, you know? Cause even when Daily show, when I wasn't doing Daily Show, I was still touring as a standup, and I'm gonna get back to touring next year at some point. But. But to be able to sit still at a time where your kids still think you're cool. Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. When do you think your son's gonna stop thinking you're cool if you had to predict based on your experience or what you've seen?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, according to the Instagram videos I watch, it's around age 12.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. So you have four more years.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Somewhere in there, your kids think you're just garbage and just terrible and you're icky. You're embarrassing me. All of that stuff.

[Ego Odom]

Is that time coming? Does that make you nervous or anxious in any way? Or you're just like, I know it's coming, and I've.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, I'm not gonna repeat myself to my son if he doesn't want to listen. I keep telling him, you can listen to me or you can get the Lesson.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So if you think I'm dumb, that's fine. Go out in the world and give it a shot. And then let me know how that works out for you, that big dog.

[Ego Odom]

Now, are you a disciplinarian?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah. I mean, not in the whipping, yelling, beat your kids type sense, but in the sense of that was an action. Here's the consequence. Absolutely.

[Ego Odom]

Are we talking timeout? Are we talking allowance being withheld?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

A lot of it is revoking of privileges. That's really where a lot of it starts. And then some of it is just written stuff. You know what really helps sometimes?

[Ego Odom]

What?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Making people write shit.

[Ego Odom]

That's why they used to do that on the board, on the chalkboard and over and over and over and over again now. Do you think it's because you're. You're creating a new neural pathway and it's like this is gonna penetrate your psyche? What you are writing or the act of writing over and over feels like punishment in and of itself, regardless of what you.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, I think it's both. It's. I want your hand to cramp, but also, I really need you to remember this, bro.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And so I think in that regard, I think he's got it together.

[Ego Odom]

What's something you've made him write over? Is it over and over again?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's just regular handwriting stuff. We just do handwriting notebooks and stuff like that. But for the most part we have a good. The most I can say is that my son just wants to stay up later.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

An extra tablet time. And we really don't do a lot of tablet time to begin with. So in the bigger scheme of behaviorally where he could be at this mile marker in the third grade, I'm lucky.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'm very lucky.

[Ego Odom]

I love that. Now, you said you are co parenting now, and the notion of having another child is cool with you, especially particularly if you and your partner are at least living together. So you and your partner now are not living together. When that split happened, did you feel like somehow like, fuck, I fucked this up?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, you always feel like you fucked it up because you don't want the child existing in something that's split. You know, my son didn't get the luxury of coming up in a house that was already split. I did. I came up in a house that was already a single parent home.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Then he and they and my parents reconciled. Yeah, this was the opposite. So, yeah, you know, there's definitely a feeling in that. But I think where relationships are concerned as parents, what we have to weigh. And I don't think there's a right answer. It's just what's right for you. I think as a parent, you have to weigh how much your own well being plays into the psyche of what your child observes and what your child sees and whether or not that's for the betterment or detriment of the child. Same as with the pregnancy. If you was in a good mood in the pregnancy versus the general demeanor around each other, if that's starting to change. I think if you're, if you're in any type of parenting situation with a child, you have to start considering that. Consider your mood. Consider how you're showing up emotionally into this home because sooner or later that's going to inform the child, is going to be informed by that. So then it becomes, all right, are you a failure for leaving or are you a bigger detriment if you stay?

[Ego Odom]

Sure. That's the question. Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Well, I mean, there's a lot of people that have come up in homes with two parents who just made it, made do. And then the day you left for college, they filed for divorce.

[Ego Odom]

I always, I'm, I'm fascinated by that.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Is that a win?

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, I'm fascinated by that. I just, I've said this before, but I saw it on a. I was watching some docu series and about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and this one girl, America's Sweethearts, which it was an interesting watch. I love me a docuseries I'm watching. And this one young girl, her who's auditioning, her parents were like, we kept it together for her and literally when she turned 18, they're like, we're getting divorced. But I'm like, so you kept her from the notion and the reality that there was conflict between you two. I'm like, I feel like that does its own number on a person.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

If she's in a relationship, she's going to be more inclined to stay in something that's boring and emotionally detrimental to her.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Or even like you're telling me one thing is true, but I don't know if it is true because I thought my parents were happily married for 18. It was a lie. Like, I was like, I don't know if that's better or right. So I don't know.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I don't know. I just think that as a parent, you have a responsibility to the energy that you show up with to parent. And if anything is creating a shift in that energy, you have to figure out what you're going to do about it. And for me, the best case scenario.

[Ego Odom]

Was to leave right now. When you're talking about showing up with a certain type of energy while parenting and being responsible for that and understanding that the energy you bring as a parent is going to impact the child. You spent a lot of time on the road as a comedian and obviously now you're, you're looking forward to being in a home more and available on the weekends. But I going on the road in the little bits and ways that I have, I'm like, I'm exhausted from travel. So was that a challenge for you to be like, on the road, building your career, doing Daily show, living that life, doing that schedule, but then still making sure you're showing up with energy and attention for your son?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, but also a great deal of that also still goes back to my son's mother. I have a great co parenting partner who's still been able to afford me the space to be able to go and chase things at the speed at which things need to be done. And so to be able to be a way is still a gift. And that's positive, you know, Yeah, I come home tired sometimes, but what Bernie Mac said and players club, welcome to the stripper game, partner.

[Ego Odom]

But do you feel guilty about it at all? Or you're like, this is what it is. And I know that my intent is to show up with as much energy as I can.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

There's still guilt. Nothing alleviates the guilt of sending your child to voicemail when he facetimes you2 minutes before you're about to go on air. And you know, if you answer this call, he's not going to understand completely why you're rushing him off the phone. Which means the next time he calls, he might not call because he's gonna feel rushed versus not answering at all. And then him going, whenever I call, you never answer.

[Ego Odom]

But then, you know, even with the guilt, you go, I'm making, I am making an informed decision here. It's not, I wish I didn't have to make the call, but I have to. And by make the call, I may make the decision I wish I didn't have to. But given my two options here and what the other would do, this is the best.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But then that also means I have to leave that completely alone and not feel that, because now it's inhibiting my ability to perform because I'm sad. So I can't allow that emotion to even enter my heart. Because the whole point of leaving town was to do this job really well, make People laugh, get money. So then the next time I come, I can make more money so I don't have to travel as much so that I can be home. So then whatever it takes to do this job properly, when I'm gone, I'm at work and the phone is on. Like in a special. Like my phone is set, whatever that DND is, do not disturb.

[Ego Odom]

Which some people just their phones live on it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But you can set overrides. And so mama babysitter, sometimes my mom, but my mom was still. She abused the privilege.

[Ego Odom]

The mom's cut off. The one loving parent not shooting.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

If his mom called me with something, wherever I am on earth, I'll walk the fuck off that stage and deal with it. But unless it's a five alarm fire, I gotta focus on these jokes. So I can't connect with sadness. I can't allow myself to. Because now I'm away and I'm not efficient. What the fuck is the point of leaving town? So I'd rather, I'd rather speak to him as best I can before the show or during sound check. You know, you almost have to make sure that you're scheduling time to be connected. That's probably the biggest change that you have to make as a performer when you become a father is figuring out, hey, I love you. And we're going to talk now because in two hours I'm not going to be able to talk. So that became one of the adjustments that I started making. And so now more often than not, on the weekends, if I'm on the road, you know, we try and catch up in the mornings. Okay, talk in the mornings. But you know, in three, four years, he's not going to talk to me at all. He might text me for money.

[Ego Odom]

Are you kidding?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Call your daddy at a side chick.

[Ego Odom]

House and he'll call you. But at this time it's still same phone number. Because your cell phone is your cell phone number.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Correct.

[Ego Odom]

Whereas you had the side chick's house number.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Wow. Different times. Yeah. If it was now, you could have just called dad's cell phone, wherever his dad is, if it's the side chick's house, another side chick's house, work, whatever, it's the same number.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And I talk to my two younger half brothers. We rap for a minute. What you up to, man? We go out of school. My school gonna beat your school. Your school ain't your school.

[Ego Odom]

You talk and then, and then you talk to your.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I put daddy on.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Our shared father on the problem. Okay. Thank you for sharing all of this and being open and vulnerable. May I ask the name of your book?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, the man of Many Fathers.

[Ego Odom]

The man of Many Fathers.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay. I just. I got all of these lessons from just so many different people that I've worked with and opened for. And I'm just so grateful that because for all of the traveling and interacting that we did, my father and I never really talked. We never really got deep about anything other than work in politics and how he sees the world of politics. Outside of that, we never talked about just regular life stuff. And I'm just so grateful for all of these different men that filled my life over the last couple of decades that when I look back on those moments, I'm able to glean so many different things. You know, the idea from the book came from the birth of my son, when I started trying to think about, all right, well, what lessons did I learn from my dad? I didn't learn that from him. Well, who did I learn that from? I didn't learn that from, but who did I learn that from? And then you look up and it's like, oh, wow. There was an entire village of people that came together.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So, yeah. So I'm excited to get that book done.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. I'll be looking out for it. Truly. I'm serious. Again, the conceit of it, it really resonates with me, too. Where I go, you might not have had a present father, but if you're fortunate, and I feel like I'm one of those people who's fortunate. You had many father figures, and in the case of this podcast, you've been my dad today.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You're welcome.

[Ego Odom]

Thank you, dad. For real. Thanks. Actually. Thanks, Dad.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I should say, you cannot borrow $10.

[Ego Odom]

Can I borrow 10K?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Absolutely. Shit. Now, now, hold on now, baby. What's going on down there? Well, you need $10 now.

[Ego Odom]

We're gonna borrow 10k, though. Roy, this has been such a Southern black dad, such a wonderful conversation. Do you want your son to be able to talk to you about anything and everything?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So far, we can. What I noticed with him is that if I share my fears and concerns and my sadnesses. That's not a word. Then he's more inclined to share his on the backside.

[Ego Odom]

It's a psychological phenomenon. They said when you're vulnerable, the person you're speaking to is more willing to vulnerable themselves. And so just shout out to you. And I am really looking forward to getting that book. And thank you for being my dad for the day. I end every episode asking all my dads for a piece of advice. I think I want to start calling this segment dadvice. Dad advice. Dadvice. A piece of dadvice. Okay. Anyway. Okay. So I have been doing a lot of online shopping, dad. And I've also then been doing a lot of returning of those online items. But in my mind it's saving me time because I don't have to go in the store, find out they don't have any of the sizes I need or want, spend time perusing on foot. Whereas I can just instead be on. Be on a website, see what sizes they have, have it shipped directly to my house, and if I don't want it, I ship it back. Okay. Do you, dad, think that it's time I go back to stores? Because it's something I've been considering. Should I go back to stores? Less returning that way because I'm actually trying the thing on in real time.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

What joy do you get out of the store?

[Ego Odom]

Do I get any joy out of going to the store? I mean, I guess having the item in my hand in real time and not having to wait for it.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Instant gratification.

[Ego Odom]

Yes.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's not enough, Right? I'd say keep doing the online shopping only because stores are chaotic. You will see some things that are different in the store. But more often than not, I go to a store for sizing purposes. But you can order two sizes and send stuff back. It's hard to say no when it's set up that easy with a return label already in it. You can't say no to that. And we're keeping the shipping industry in business.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Okay. There's something charitable about what I'm doing.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Where would UPS be if it weren't.

[Ego Odom]

Those men in those brown blouses? Where would they be in them little shorts in the summer? Yeah. Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

As a person who enjoys shopping for electronics in person and shoes in person.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I think it's hard to justify going in a store when you know they're.

[Ego Odom]

Going to have less options every time stores don't have anything in them anymore.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And my issue with stores is that for me, I'm an extremely indecisive person.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I'm going to price match this across every other store.

[Ego Odom]

I understand. Okay. You're going to go from store to store. Will you, while you're in store, Google and see, like, okay, is this available for less online?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Oh, no, I hadn't even thought about that.

[Ego Odom]

Oh. Because that's something I'll do.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Is that how you take a picture to Drop it into Google. There's in our app where you can take a picture of anything.

[Ego Odom]

Yes, there is. There is, but I will. Okay, this is an item. I. I look at the item. I look at the. Not model name, but the style name, whatever the blouse is called. And. Or I'll. I'll put in the description of the blouse. I know the brand. I'll put in the description of the blouse. This is if I'm in store and then go, oh, no, it's cheaper on this website. They're having this crazy sale. I'm gonna just get it here.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yes.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So if you're already doing that, then you just.

[Ego Odom]

Sometimes I will. But I was. But I'm like, is it worth it? Because I feel like, like there are people who value a discount and there are people who value their time, people who are trying to save time, other people who are trying to get the best deal. And I'm like, should I become a person who.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You're a New Yorker, so you value time.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

So I think you have to go with the time efficient question.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Yeah. Everything in. Okay. All right. Thank you, dad. You were worried you weren't gonna have the tools to give me advice.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I thought it was gonna be some serious shit.

[Ego Odom]

I mean, I can make it some serious shit.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Hang on now, hang on now, hang on. That's complic. That young lady need to have a conversation with that man about what they gonna do about that. Baby, you just can't be anything.

[Ego Odom]

Me being like, my advice is. So let me tell you what's going on. Thank you so much, Roy. Appreciate you being here. Thank you. Thank you.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Appreciate it.

[Ego Odom]

Think Stat is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, Ega Wodom. The show is produced and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Konowskaya with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason Matheny for our show Art and Ferris Manshi for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe, just maybe, we'll read it on a future episode.