Scott Aukerman

Summary

Podcast Summary: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim – Episode Featuring Scott Aukerman

In this heartfelt and engaging episode of "Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim," hosted by Headgum, Ego Wodom sits down with Scott Aukerman—a celebrated writer, comedian, and podcaster known for hosting "Comedy Bang Bang" and "Threedom." Released on November 18, 2024, the episode delves deep into themes of fatherhood, upbringing, religion, and personal growth through Scott's candid and often humorous reflections.

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1. Introduction and Setting the Stage

Ego opens the podcast by sharing her own background of being raised by a single mother and lacking a relationship with her father. She introduces Scott Aukerman as her guest, humorously acknowledging that while Scott isn’t old enough to be her dad, he serves as a “Dad for the Day.”

2. Early Life and Religious Upbringing

Scott recounts his childhood in a strict non-denominational Baptist household in Orange County, California. He describes attending church three times a week, emphasizing the rigid structure his father instilled. At [07:53], Scott shares:

“We had to go three times a week.”

This strict upbringing heavily influenced Scott’s early years, shaping his views on responsibility and discipline.

3. Complex Relationship with His Father

A significant portion of the conversation centers on Scott’s relationship with his father. Despite the strictness, Scott mentions moments that brought them closer in his later years. At [21:21], he reflects:

“He was very into taking care of his kids and the responsibility of 'I need to help them out.'”

However, Scott also shares the challenges, including feelings of constant judgment and misunderstandings, which were particularly pronounced during his high school years.

4. Critical Views on Religion and Society

Scott delves into his critical perspective on how Christianity can perpetuate societal structures like white supremacy. At [09:50], he asserts:

“It just seems like it's all just a club for people to be like, we're number one.”

He discusses how religious institutions, in his view, often uphold oppressive paradigms rather than fostering genuine spiritual growth and inclusivity.

5. Marriage and Parenthood Insights

Transitioning to personal life, Scott discusses his marriage and experiences as a father. He emphasizes the responsibilities and commitment required in marriage, contrasting them with societal perceptions. At [40:11], he states:

“When I was getting married, it was purely like, I need to take care of her.”

Scott highlights his focus on providing stability and support in his relationship, viewing marriage as a partnership grounded in responsibility rather than romantic ideals.

6. Journey into Fatherhood

Scott shares his decade-long journey to fatherhood, culminating in conceiving his daughter via surrogacy after numerous challenges, including miscarriages. At [28:06], he explains:

“It was a ten-year process... So I was like, I'm not going to fully commit to this until I actually see a baby.”

He underscores the emotional and logistical hurdles faced during this period, emphasizing the profound responsibility that comes with parenting.

7. Building a Relationship with His Daughter

A key focus is Scott’s approach to fatherhood, prioritizing a strong, open relationship with his daughter over rigid parenting norms. At [51:48], he shares:

“I really just want our relationship to be good.”

Scott advocates for a parenting style that fosters trust and open communication, allowing his daughter to feel comfortable discussing anything with him.

8. Practical Advice Exchange: House Renovation

In a lighter segment, Ego seeks Scott’s advice on renovating a house she recently purchased in California. Scott offers pragmatic tips, drawing from his own experiences with contractors. At [52:35], he advises:

“Expect delays... and expect it to be more money.”

He emphasizes the importance of budgeting, anticipating unexpected costs, and ensuring all work is up to code to avoid future complications.

9. Humorous Banter and Closing Thoughts

The episode concludes with playful banter between Ego and Scott, reinforcing their comfortable and humorous dynamic. They reflect on the depth of their conversation, recognizing that there is still much more to explore in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes

• On Religion's Societal Role:

  “It just seems like it's all just a club for people to be like, we're number one.”
  — Scott Aukerman [09:50]

• On Marriage Responsibility:

  “When I was getting married, it was purely like, I need to take care of her.”
  — Scott Aukerman [40:11]

• On Relationship with His Daughter:

  “I really just want our relationship to be good.”
  — Scott Aukerman [51:48]

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Conclusion

This episode of "Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim" offers a compelling exploration of fatherhood, personal growth, and the complexities of religious upbringing. Through Scott Aukerman’s honest and introspective storytelling, listeners gain valuable insights into navigating familial relationships, the impact of upbringing on personal beliefs, and the responsibilities of marriage and parenting. The blend of humor and sincerity makes for a rich and engaging listening experience, inviting both laughter and deep reflection.

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Don’t Miss Out:

• Listen to More Episodes: Visit Headgum or your favorite podcast platform.
• Follow Scott Aukerman: Tune into "Comedy Bang Bang" and "Threedom" for more of Scott’s unique humor and insightful conversations.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe & Review: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts to support the show and help future episodes reach more listeners.

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This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, insights, and memorable moments. Whether you’re a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this overview provides a comprehensive glimpse into the dynamic conversation between Ego Wodom and Scott Aukerman.

Transcript

[Eggo Wodom]

This is a headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Eggo Wodom, and welcome to thanks, Dad. I do not have a relationship with my dad. I was raised by a single mom, and I'm using this podcast as a way to sit down with father figures who are old enough to be my dad. No offense. Or just the guest grunts really to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Be insulted right off the bat.

[Eggo Wodom]

Old enough to be my dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Old enough to be.

[Eggo Wodom]

I shan't say it's available on the Internet, and I've done zero work to hide my age because I don't believe in it. But somewhere old enough. You were having sex at a very young age and you didn't understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look at me. I wasn't.

[Eggo Wodom]

And you understand. You know what? Never mind. Let me try this again. I'm sitting down with guys who could be my dad or are, in your case, in your dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

In my case, I am a father.

[Eggo Wodom]

In your beautiful young case, you're just a dad yourself. You're a father. I'm going to ask my guest questions, such as, how do I know if the guy I'm dating is right for me? Can you teach me how to change a tire? You do not look like you can teach me how to tie.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was just talking about this yesterday. Of course I can change a tire.

[Eggo Wodom]

You can change a tire?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, very nice. Okay, well, we're gonna guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I teach you?

[Eggo Wodom]

That's a different.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. How stupid are you?

[Eggo Wodom]

I'm pretty damn dumb when it comes to changing a t. I will say pretty damn dumb. And also I will say this. Those who can don't always know how to teach.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Eggo Wodom]

And that's actually deep, and that's Confucian.

[Scott Aukerman]

But if you don't know how, you probably also don't know how to teach facts.

[Eggo Wodom]

So you don't know how to change a tire.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do know how to change a tire.

[Eggo Wodom]

Do you know how to change oil?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Well, I have. Boy, it's been a minute since I've done that, but I used to know. Yeah. Very well. Are you rich currently?

[Eggo Wodom]

I'd love. I just. I knew I was going to ask you that question.

[Scott Aukerman]

What fiscal year is this?

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, the year is 2017.

[Scott Aukerman]

2017. Am I rich at that point? I mean it.

[Eggo Wodom]

Scott, if I may, from the outside in. Oh, my gosh. Spoiler. Okay, today's guest is writer, comedian, and podcaster extraordinaire, Possible Rich Person. Possible Rich Person. He hosts Comedy Bang Bang and Threedom. Annie, you are my dad. For this week, Again, you're not old enough to be my dad. We don't want to offend you. You're just a dad yourself. But you're my dad for the day. You're my dad for the day.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just really wonder if, like, the very time I had sex, which I don't want to reveal.

[Eggo Wodom]

How old are you?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was.

[Eggo Wodom]

My guest is Scott Aukerman. To be clear. Okay. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

[Scott Aukerman]

I.

[Eggo Wodom]

Be honest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mom gonna listen to this?

[Eggo Wodom]

She's not. Your mom's not gonna listen. Your mom doesn't care about me. She doesn't care about me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is she gonna get a Google alert about this?

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, does she?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. She just recently hopped.

[Eggo Wodom]

You're an adult.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like to give up secrets of when things happen.

[Eggo Wodom]

Do you think it'll, like, turn her world upside down at this juncture?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. At this point, she probably doesn't care. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

And does she listen to podcasts just to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, she. She, in fact, follows. She recently got on Instagram and she started following me. And she just says about me. She goes, I don't understand anything that's happening over there.

[Eggo Wodom]

Maybe a good. Over there. That's maybe a good thing, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

17.

[Eggo Wodom]

You were 17. Is that late or young for a dude? I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. I. I think in hindsight, it's probably about normal, but it felt late. Probably, right?

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, so 17. You were 17. Did anyone talk to you about sex at that point?

[Scott Aukerman]

I remember I was dreading the. The subject coming up.

[Eggo Wodom]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then someone at the church was giving a talk about talking to your kids about sex. Okay. And they said, look, if your child is over 13, it's already too late.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was. I think I was 13 or 14. And I was like, you get it? And of course, it never came up again. Like, all that would ever come up would be if my dad, like, ever walked in and I was watching, like, a Skinemax movie or something like that. It would be like, you know, you don't wanna be watching those, because this was. I remember this piece of advice.

[Eggo Wodom]

It was like, yes, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's not good advice. It was, you don't wanna watch movies like that because then you'll always associate. Like, you'll remember those scenes for the rest of your life, and you'll always associate sex with them or something like.

[Eggo Wodom]

That, which is just. I think they say that watching PO rewires your brain and your relationship to the sex you're actually having or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Possibly.

[Eggo Wodom]

Maybe he was trying to comment on that, but was also very uncomfortable at the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

And felt he had to say something.

[Scott Aukerman]

He definitely. Well, he was, he was very. I mean he was very religious and very kind of, you know, like follow God's rules and stuff like that. So I think he was saying if you're gonna be following God's rules, as of course you're going to do.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then you can't watch movies like that because then you'll always think of movies like that when you are abstaining from sex. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

So what kind religion are we talking?

[Scott Aukerman]

Baptist or just kind of non denominational Christian?

[Eggo Wodom]

Non denominational. You're from Orange county, right? California. California.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there others in Florida?

[Eggo Wodom]

Orange County, Florida. Very interesting. There's another Baltimore. I believe it's in Ohio. Crazy. I'm going to, I'm going to Google right now. Is that okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

So funny if you were from the other Baltimore and I was from the other Florida.

[Eggo Wodom]

I know. And there's like a Miami University, but it's in Ohio.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. There's Baltimore. Baltimore. It's a village in Ohio. And we could get there in 4 hours and 32 minutes from Los Angeles by plane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's go.

[Eggo Wodom]

And currently the weather's 81 degr.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds pretty good.

[Eggo Wodom]

Cooler than here. Right. So did you grow up going to like Crystal Cathedral, which I knew about because my grandmother used to watch TBN that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is adjacent to where I grew up.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, I definitely there. There was a.

[Eggo Wodom]

A revival at Crystal Cathedral.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, there was a UHF channel that broadcast from there that occasionally I would watch that channel because in the mid-80s they had a video show.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you know, music videos are very popular and we didn't have MTV so place I could see like they would play YouTube videos.

[Eggo Wodom]

They would play YouTube videos and Crystal Cathedral services.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So they had the Crystal Cathedral services earlier in the day and then like there was a late night show where they played videos that were sort of Christian or. And you two is considered a Christian band.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. That's okay. I see. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Creed maybe. But Creed is this is where we decide if you're old enough to be my dad or not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Creed.

[Eggo Wodom]

And what do you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm talking about you too.

[Eggo Wodom]

What do you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

Am I old enough to be your dad?

[Eggo Wodom]

It's giving daddy. Okay. It's giving Papa Bear. Okay. So a non denominational Baptist.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was called Baptist, but. But I don't knowing what Baptist really We were baptized.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But knowing what Baptist. Baptist church actually kind of follow. It was a little less strict.

[Eggo Wodom]

I discovered there's a church here in Los Angeles, like if you do a little bit of a deep dive, it presents as non denominational, but they're like associated or affiliated by the Southern Baptist, whatever, the council or something. I'm speaking really ignorantly now, but I'm like, I think I understand what you're saying.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you church shopping or what?

[Eggo Wodom]

In la? Yeah, I did church shop when I lived here. I church shop. My sister and I went on a grand church tour.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you really?

[Eggo Wodom]

We did. We found ourselves in the Valley.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you find one that you.

[Eggo Wodom]

We did. We found a church. We did find a church. I like going to church until you hear someone say something crazy and go, oh, yeah. As a practice, I think it's like a dedicated time. So even, like, there's little skills I want to learn and people go, you could teach yourself that on YouTube. You don't have to go take a class for that. Which I'm like, totally.

[Scott Aukerman]

You like going to the place?

[Eggo Wodom]

I like going to the place.

[Scott Aukerman]

Having the structure and.

[Eggo Wodom]

Having the structure and the time dedicated to the thing. And so that's why I like going to church. I hadn't been in a while, up until like a couple weeks ago. I did go back. It had been like two and a half years. And I went back recently.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had to go three times a week.

[Eggo Wodom]

Growing up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Growing up, yeah. And I have a. I just. I feel like lately with the church and this is probably not the same as the churches you went to, but the churches that I've been to, I've kind of. And just looking at the church's influence on the world, I've kind of. Now I feel like Christianity is just like. I don't think a lot of the people are really interested in the tenets of Christianity. I feel like it is a paradigm to keep white supremacy going.

[Eggo Wodom]

I don't think you're wrong. I don't think you're wrong as a person who's like, I'm always like, I'm diet Christian is what I say to people. Because I feel like it's so loaded to be like, I'm Christian. I understand people's reaction to it and I understand what I feel Christianity represents in our current society. That didn't come out of nowhere. I don't think it's out of left field that people are like, I don't know about that. And I think you're totally right.

[Scott Aukerman]

It just Feels like every time I'm around it, the people there kind of have built this whole structure in these big buildings and this society in order to be on top and kind of subjugate everyone else. And even when I was just there for my father's funerals, the last time I was in a church.

[Eggo Wodom]

Sorry, your father passed away when?

[Scott Aukerman]

In October.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the food was late. And just the attitude. And I don't belong to this church, but just the attitude that everyone who, like, worked there was giving the food people, the service people, the service people just really reminded me of, like, oh, no, no, no, we're on top here.

[Eggo Wodom]

And you're serv. And why are you late? And yeah, we're gonna make you.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it just. It always just. And the way. I mean, obviously this is a bigger issue in the world, but it just seems like it's all just a club for people to be like, we're number one. Right.

[Eggo Wodom]

And listen this. As a person who goes, I'm Christian, diet Christian. Because I understand that reaction. I grew up in a church that I look back on and I go, oh, my God, I think all those people were racist. I was like. And that's. I'm being hyperbolic right now, but I'm like, I think many of those. I was like, oh, I think a bunch of them were white supremacists. And in retrospect.

[Scott Aukerman]

And again, I don't think it's like an overt, like, hey, we're racist in their heads. I think it's just like structures that they've set up in order to be like, no one fuck with us.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's keep this going for as long as we can. And obviously the people in polity who mix it with politics, and when it.

[Eggo Wodom]

Starts, that's a whole. It's a whole other thing. And it's messy. And that's why I think it's like, I understand the perspective that people. Some people see it as a tool of oppression, because I would be remiss to say I didn't see how that can be perceived.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I think anyone can use any religion, agreed to get peace in their own life or to improve themselves, self improvement and all that kind of stuff. But the problem with Christianity is, and I remember this very clearly, someone coming and speaking to our church saying, if you are a good person and you're a good family person and you're obeying the Bible's rules, that is not enough. You are not a good Christian at that point, you need to be out there evangelizing. And converting a bunch of people all the time. And that's the part where it gets really dicey for me is the. You can't just use it to be like, hey, this is how I want.

[Eggo Wodom]

To live my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is how I want to live my life. And I really enjoy this. And some people do, which is great. I know great Christians, but it's the people who are out there, like, this is the way I want to live my life. And you must live it this way as well.

[Eggo Wodom]

Which really. Yeah, I absolutely get that. I'm rereading near Christianity by C.S. lewis. I'm fascinated by C.S.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lewis because he is the line in that one too.

[Eggo Wodom]

Does he just show up? I don't think there's a line in that one. Hi, CS but it does take place in Narnia. Yes, but no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, when I was a child in Narnia. Oh, did I just type that? I mean, no.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, wait a minute. But no. His story is fascinating. I think why I'm so fascinated by him is because he was an atheist who became Christian. I'm rereading it. I read this book, I mean, 10 years ago, and I was like, oh, so much of this resonates. I think what you were saying, and I thought you were going in this direction. I go, mm, mm. Was like, I think any religion can be used as a guide of how to live your life and how to improve your own self. I also think it can be used as a tool of oppression if in the wrong hands or misused. And I don't know if it's just religion. I'm like, I just feel like anything in the wrong hands, even something well intended, a pen in the wrong hands could be a weapon.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's mightier than the sword, of course.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, sure. Surely, should we write a book if.

[Scott Aukerman]

You stick it in someone's eye?

[Eggo Wodom]

I mean, I think a sword would hurt more.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. But can you really get close enough with a sword? Usually if you pull out a sword.

[Eggo Wodom]

People are sword, you're gonna do more damage than to the eye.

[Scott Aukerman]

But everyone runs away when they see you.

[Eggo Wodom]

When they see if you have a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pen, you're like, check out my new pen.

[Eggo Wodom]

Unless it's one of those free pens, and they're generally bad and kind of weakened. That's a good point, but okay. Which maybe is worse for injury. Anyway, your dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Eggo Wodom]

He was very religious man. Is. Would describe him.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's very religious. He was a deacon at the church. He made us go three times a year or a week. Rather, I was going to say a year.

[Eggo Wodom]

Not so bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, not so bad.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, go ahead.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, yeah, so I. I always felt like if we had that kind of blunt conversation, it would have been it. He would have had to have wrestled with a choice he had to make.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do feel like he maybe mellowed out on stuff like that later in my life where, you know, I did get married and kind of settled down and stuff, but the way I was living my life, he could tell what was happening.

[Eggo Wodom]

When did you decide to stop going to church? And was that even a conversation? Or do we.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I was forced to go as long as I lived there.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so I lived there until I was 20.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

So occasionally I would get out of it after I graduated high school of like, you know, I just got home too late and I feel like I can't. They would give up, you know.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah, try.

[Scott Aukerman]

My dad would, like, throw water, like, cups of water on me from the bed.

[Eggo Wodom]

Bedroom baptism. Okay. Damn.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like, you know, it was just something that I had to do. And, you know, at 5 or whatever they say, okay, you're old enough now, can you accept Jesus into your heart? You just kind of do it and get baptized and all that kind of stuff. Around 13, I remember going to, like, summer camp and kind of really wrestling with it and going like. And praying and be, you know, like, help me. You know, why do I have these bad thoughts and stuff like that? Because I wanted to murder everyone.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay. I was like, okay. And I was gonna ask you. I was like, you wanna murder me? Is it because I'm black or just. No, no, of course not. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just purely equal opportunity murder.

[Eggo Wodom]

Sure, sure. And that we're okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although looking at my history, it's mainly been black people.

[Eggo Wodom]

I can have a racist dad, or is that a thing dads are. I had a guy once tell me on a date, like, I've told this story a couple times, went on a date with a dentist, and his mom called while we were in the car. And I was like, you should answer. And he picked up on the car phone and he's like, hi, Mommy. Which is crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, Mommy.

[Eggo Wodom]

He literally said, hi, Mommy. And I go, I love that you have a good relationship with her. That's one step too far. But on the other hand, you go, you're being yourself right now, and you don't care that I'm here. And basically, he said he went to some doctor's appointment. She was like, oh, was the doctor black? And I remember thinking, hmm, why Is she asking that? Couldn't question that.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is on the phone right there.

[Eggo Wodom]

This is on the phone out loud. He did not tell her. She's on speakerphone. He did not tell her, which I think is like, that is a party foul. You have to tell people when they're.

[Scott Aukerman]

On social media, especially if your mom is likely to say something like.

[Eggo Wodom]

But I'm like, but she dove right in. It was so bizarre. I didn't know. Was it Dr. Black?

[Scott Aukerman]

I went to the DoH.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. Yeah, it was. I went to the doctor. Black doctor was black. Black doctor. It was that. I was like, whoa, what a leap. It was so random that I didn't even know what to make of it because I go, how's it going?

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it ever resolved?

[Eggo Wodom]

No. I don't know. Why? Because it got worse. It got worse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Eggo Wodom]

Then he was like, okay, anyway, I need to get off the phone because I'm going on a date. And I was like, motherfucker, you're on a date. The date started when you picked me up. And then his mom was like, you're on a date. She goes, who are you on a date with?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is the date black?

[Eggo Wodom]

Is the date black? No. Well, listen to this. She goes, your neighbor? And he goes, no. And she was like, the Greek girl? And he was like, no. And I go, wow, this dude gets pussy. Okay. And then she goes, who are you on it? You're on a date. And he's not answering. And so she goes, oh, the black girl. And he goes, yeah. And so I'm the black girl in the car. And I'm like, what? And he goes, yeah. And she goes, oh, the black girl. And I was like, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Jeez. At what point does he.

[Eggo Wodom]

I know. No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he ever, like, apologize for it?

[Eggo Wodom]

No. I'll tell you what he said on the cause, okay, to my point, about racist dads. She goes, oh, the black girl. And then she goes, she was cute. And I go, I've been on one date with this man. One normal, two hour, not exceptional date. I went on a date with him and then had to go to do an improv show. So it was two hours. It had a cap to it. It was not exceptional from my perspective. But we're going on a second one because everyone always says, go on a second one. So I go on a second one. This is what's happening. This is the second date. So I'm like, you've shown your mother a picture of me. That's a little much for me. That's. Hi, Mommy. And you've also shown her a picture.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of a person nearby.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes, yes. Amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Visiting her, I guess.

[Eggo Wodom]

I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a little weirder if, like, he's texting her, like, this is the girl.

[Eggo Wodom]

What do you think, six?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's like, over at her place and going. And she's like, who? Oh, you're going on a date. Who'd you go on a date with? And he goes, oh, here's her Instagram.

[Eggo Wodom]

And then she's like, right. But then we get out of the car pretty soon after. It was a short ride, so a lot happened in that little ride. I'm talking like maybe seven minute drive. Okay. And it was in Santa Monica. And then we get out and he's like, oh, my God. Did you. I was so nervous that whole time. Did you see how nervous I was? My mom. And I was like, I did not look at you one time. And then he goes, yeah. I was so worried my mom was gonna say something racist. And I go, oh, she did. Beloved. She did, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my word.

[Eggo Wodom]

And then he was like, well, she's old. She kind of has to be racist. I go, she doesn't have to. She's got a choice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like, though, this is. And my mother does this too, where anything that is. She identifies people by whatever is not normal about them. Meaning not white. Not white. Yes, exactly. Which is another reason why I think people.

[Eggo Wodom]

People do that, though. In general, there is a thing that people tend to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

That is like, white is default.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly.

[Eggo Wodom]

So they'll be like the big black guy. One of my pet peeve.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also white, skinny, regular height.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are the.

[Eggo Wodom]

You're so right. You're so right. Yeah. And it's like the chubby person. I feel like sometimes when I'm writing a script, I specifically will be like. The only time I'm pointing out the race of a person is if they're white. Just to be like, no, the default is not white.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did this the other day. I kind of had to point it out because I wanted the person to not be white and because, like, the default for. Because I'm writing comics right now.

[Eggo Wodom]

Sure, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the default is sometimes of just like, make the person white, you know? So I've been like, okay, this person's Asian. This. You know?

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. Because I know you're thinking as you read this comic reader, that this is a white. So I need to let you know when you do the movie, you need people to know. And so they don't go. They're up in arms. I've seen that on Twitter about Harry Potter and other beloved films.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Harry Potter with Cho Chan.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's another story.

[Eggo Wodom]

That's a different story for a different time.

[Scott Aukerman]

But yeah, it seems like. And my mother does this too, where it was like, oh, the Greek girl, meaning the not white Christian girl.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes, exactly. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, oh, the black girl. That's what's different about her. This is how I identify.

[Eggo Wodom]

It's interesting because his neighbor, they shared their Jewish identity. And so she didn't say it was just like the neighbor, but maybe I'm like, if I was the neighbor, would I have been?

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you have been the neighbor or the black girl?

[Eggo Wodom]

Would I have been the. Yeah, exactly. Or the black neighbor?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think she would have. Oh, that's true.

[Eggo Wodom]

Black neighbor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Black neighbor.

[Eggo Wodom]

Which sounds like a slur. That's the title of this podcast. Yeah. Black Neighbor. Let's make it that. Which I maybe should. Would you do a spin off with me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yeah. Black Neighbor. You move in next door to me.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we do a podcast together.

[Eggo Wodom]

So Scott hasn't been getting his lawn taken. Taken care of. I always found that so fascinating, like, growing up in my neighborhood, how much like, neighbors were concerned with what other neighbors were doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

When I bought a condo, it was. It was a big glimpse into that because, like, you suddenly had to go to condo meetings and. Yeah, I had to be president for a little while. Oh, how was that? It was such a drag. I mean, the whole thing is a drag.

[Eggo Wodom]

Did you feel powerful, though?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, because we all had to take turns.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was. And no one wanted to do it. That was the thing. It was more of a burst burden.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, sure. Okay. I want to talk more about your papa bear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Eggo Wodom]

Would you say you guys were close?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we got to be closer in his later years because I think he sort of mellowed out a little bit about judging me. He was very into his family and trying to help them out all the time, you know, and he would. When I think about stuff, where now with my two year, almost two year old, I'll look at the weekends and be like, oh, my God, this is a 48 hours without the nanny.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a lot. You know what I mean? I have stuff to do. But he would always be driving from Orange county up to LA to see one of us or to help us out or. When I bought that condo, I was talking about, it financially wiped me out. And so he came up for months, every weekend, day to help me put in flooring for it and stuff like that. So he was very into that and very into taking care of his kids and the responsibility of I need to help them out. So I think that stuff like that got me closer to him. He was an armed service guy who was in the National Guard. He was a way. I think his outlook on parenting, which is something that I'm trying not to do, was very much of it was in those roles of my mom was the mother and it was her job to take care of us, and it was his job to, like, discipline us and to also lay down the law. But then he would be there on weekends to take us places and stuff like that.

[Eggo Wodom]

Just given what you described, I'm assuming you didn't feel like you could take anything emotional to him.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. And in fact, there were several times where, like, because I felt like everything was gonna be a judgment and a punishment. You know what I mean? So it got so bad during my high school years that he found a letter that my best friend wrote to me. My best friend moved to San Diego to go to school when I was 16. He was two years older than me. And there was no other way to communicate other than writing letters. You know what I mean?

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes, I do remember that time. And I'll say this, I was in elementary school when that was happening. So you could be my dad. I'm not sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

But this was, you know. You didn't want to pay money to, like, call him because.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes, that's long distance.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would have been long distance. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

And the youth of today have no idea what we're talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

To be clear, it costs a lot of money.

[Eggo Wodom]

My cousin and I growing up were the best of friends. Were like a year and a half apart. And she and I would write each other letters. She lived in Jersey, I was in Baltimore. We'd write each other letters and then calling each other. We would get in so much trouble for the long distance phone call.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could do maybe a couple of minutes or something. But then I was cautioned, like, just the connection. If someone picks up, that costs, like, a lot of money.

[Eggo Wodom]

So you were writing letters.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he wrote me a letter that was filled with a bunch of in jokes of our. Just, you know, we hung out all the time. And it was just. I remember one was something about onion soup, because we went to a place that had gross onion soup or something like that.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And during one of their periodic searches of my rooms. My bedroom. Yes. To find things to incriminate.

[Eggo Wodom]

You feel that you knew that they were doing it. Did you feel safe growing up, like, emotionally or, like, as a person?

[Scott Aukerman]

I just always felt like I was gonna do something wrong, that they were. That they were going. That I didn't feel was wrong, but that they. So. So to get. The end of this story is they found this letter and. And were had a big confrontation with me about, like, am I gay? Why am I getting this letter? What is onion soup? That's a gay thing, isn't it?

[Eggo Wodom]

Euphemism.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're in the theater, and I know a lot of people in the theater are gay. Why is that? We think you are gay. And I'm like, so just like a big, long harangue, you know, when all I did was get a letter from.

[Eggo Wodom]

My best friend and. How old are you?

[Scott Aukerman]

16 at the time.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then, you know, stuff like. Like, then when I was 17, my new best friend and I. I went over to his house, and I forget why, but we swapped shoes.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the next day was church, and I had on his shoes, and he was like, where did you get those shoes? And I was like, oh, my friend and I, we swapped shoes. He's like, why would you do that? Suddenly it was suspicion time. And it was like, a problem. Like, a big problem.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was like, we're kids. We swapped shoes just for a day. But it was a big, big problem.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so just, like, it would. It would be stuff like that where I didn't really feel. I'm just living my life, and it.

[Eggo Wodom]

Seems like I'm chill and everything I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything. Everything I'm doing is, like, a moral problem for him.

[Eggo Wodom]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know?

[Eggo Wodom]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I think he had the responsibility of, like, I have to teach him how to be a good person. I remember once he was telling me, I don't think you're growing up to be a good person. And that's rough to hear from your. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

Do you know how old you were, though, when that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was when I was graduating high school. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

Man. Do you still feel like you hear your dad's voice in your head sometimes? Honestly?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, there are certain things where I, like, that are great.

[Eggo Wodom]

I'm sure, too, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

But there are certain things where I think about things that he taught me or, like, I remember no one ever would ever teach me the little basics of life. So I remember, like, at one point, he would always be exasperated.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I would be like, you never taught me this. But at one point, like, I had Just sopping wet hair, going to church. And he's like, you take a towel and you, like, dry it.

[Eggo Wodom]

He's annoyed and, like, shaking your head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Like, you dry it off first, and that will, like, get all the most of the moisture out. I'm like, okay, but you never taught me this.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he would be so annoyed and be like, God, why don't you know this?

[Eggo Wodom]

I imagine you were, like, on eggshell. So I know you had how many siblings is it. Was it just your brother?

[Scott Aukerman]

So I had an older brother who passed away, and I have a younger sister.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But for a long time, it was just my older brother and I.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. And then our relationship was fraught. His, mine, where we were not those close siblings. It was the fighting all the time siblings. You know what I mean? So.

[Eggo Wodom]

Didn't like each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And. And so there was just a lot of. I just felt like my home life was very. Not happy for whatever reason, even though I know it wasn't. Like, I didn't feel loved or wasn't a child of divorce or anything. And then I was talking at my dad's funeral about how the thing that eventually ended up taking his life happened when I was 12. So he had 40 years from this happening, but he almost died when I was 12. And I think about just how different life would have been. That would have been its own challenges. So I had a very stable household. It just was one of those religious ones where I felt the minute I started making my own friends and started finding solace in my art, I just kind of left home as soon as I could and would go back and see them as much as I was obligated to, but. But distance myself from them. And then later in life, I think I got closer to everyone.

[Eggo Wodom]

So you were moved out when you were 20?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

And those two years after high school, were you, like, in a rush and, like, devising a plan?

[Scott Aukerman]

They were. I was sort of, like, just kind of going wherever the wind took me. Okay. When I was 18, I got some friends who taught me the joys of drinking till six in the morning in a van.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, great. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so I would do that and then miss my class, classes in the morning, and eventually, like, flunked out of college. That was a problem.

[Eggo Wodom]

Right. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, you know, and. And that was the thing is, my dad was always trying to teach me responsibility. So when I was 12, he was like, okay, you don't have. I'm not gonna buy you anything anymore.

[Eggo Wodom]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anything that you need for school. Or anything. Yeah. He goes, he goes, I'm gonna give you. I, I think it was $70 a month and you need to buy.

[Eggo Wodom]

And the year was what? I'm just trying not to age. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. And you know what? Smell for it. And the year was. I'm sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, no, go ahead.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it was like, anything you need for school, any school supplies, any clothes you need, anything you want. Yeah, food, you know, not, you know, dinner food or whatever, but anything. I'm never going to give you money again other than this $70.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh. And it's a week. A month. A month.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it would be gone because I'm.

[Eggo Wodom]

Like, I need it to be a week.

[Scott Aukerman]

At least it would be gone by the fifth, usually, you know, and then.

[Eggo Wodom]

And then did you feel like you couldn't ask him?

[Scott Aukerman]

And so I never got to go to prom or anything like that because that's not even enough to go to. I think prom tickets were probably like 50 bucks or whatever. And that would have been so much money.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah, of course. Did you have any other adult male figures in your life who you felt perhaps more comfortable with or. Not really.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would occasionally go over to my uncle's house and he'd be like more of a, A friend or whatever.

[Eggo Wodom]

Dad's brother. Mom's brother.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mom's brother.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mom's sister's husband.

[Eggo Wodom]

Gotcha. Okay. Gotcha.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, but yeah, I mean, I, I, I definitely just felt like it was like any, anything at home was just a recipe for disaster if I did something wrong.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, so I just, I, I ended up just really distancing myself from everyone and spending a ton of time at school and.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. And would you at some point be like, no, I was est from these people.

[Scott Aukerman]

I remember there being, like, a really fun Thanksgiving where I didn't go home, like, to go home for Thanksgiving and a bunch of comedians came over to my apartment and coolop made a turkey. And it was just like, I was like, this is the dream. This is so much fun. This is the first Thanksgiving in 30 some odd years that I didn't go home. And it was just so much fun.

[Eggo Wodom]

And you loved it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I loved it. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

Your dad, I mean, it sounds like strict. It sounds like quite principled. He is who he was. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trying to teach me how to be a responsible, good human from his morals and his. Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

Did you get the sense how open was he about his upbringing?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, that's interesting, because I don't know, really. I mean, he's a military guy. My grandfather was a military guy. So I got the sense that maybe that was part of it. But I also. He was religious, like his whole life, I think, you know, and like, of his own choice, it seemed like he was more people. At our church, I remember his 40th birthday party. They had an over the hill party, which was like, okay. Back then that was considered like, well, you're on your way to death now. Weirdly enough, it was exactly when he was over the hill. Cause he died at 79.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh my gosh. They really. They sealed the deal in fate. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So never have an over the hill.

[Eggo Wodom]

Party because I don't do that. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I remember someone from the church talking about, like, he was the guy who always would never compromise on anything. They would always kind of go, like, it doesn't matter if we just bend the rules on this or whatever. And he was the one always saying, like, no, these are the rules. We have to follow the rules. We can't compromise our morals to do this.

[Eggo Wodom]

You know what I mean? So he was that guy in psychology, I believe, because I've been accused of it from time to time. Accused by my therapist, Jacuz. Jacuzz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your therapist just stands and point to you like, I was here so you could help me.

[Eggo Wodom]

And you're on Zoom. Standing at. You stand up and point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Throws his computer across the room.

[Eggo Wodom]

And I kind of taller than I thought anyway, of splitting. It's called the black and white. Thinking is like splitting. I now, as of like, truly, Scott, like a month ago, I think I've been like, I think God is gray if God were a color. Because I grew up in church as well. My upbringing wasn't as strict, but I grew up like, oh, I'm going to youth group. And I know that world. I feel like I know that world well. And I know how people begin to think with such rigidity and in some sense understand the inclination to do so. But then there's like, I read C.S. lewis and I read Father Gregory Boyle who runs Homeboy Industries. And I think their writing is so beautiful. And the way they talk about God, if one believes in God and the concept, I am a little more like, yeah, I imagine we don't know all the answers. And some of the ways people speak, it was such certainty about some things is quite off putting. It's not how I want to be received.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it always sort of changes the rules too. Like, yeah, cursing. That was one thing I remember, like the first couple of times I heard my dad Say the word shit. It was like, shocking.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he just would casually throw it off, like when I was an adult, like, oh, all this shit. I was just like. Because it was such a problem when I was young, you know, and so it's like, oh, when did that change?

[Eggo Wodom]

Right, Right. I've said that I'm really fascinated by people who are so sure. And in fact, I, in turn, really respect and admire leaders, parents who are sort of like, I don't fucking know, because that's a little bit of the truth. You want to try your best. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is what, like, I would rather, instead of having a religion and. And I'm wondering this about my kid is like, what do I tell her about religion?

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. I'm curious. What will you tell her when you've had that experience?

[Scott Aukerman]

I was taught this is what we have to do so we don't go to hell.

[Eggo Wodom]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I think it's healthier, even though this is not what they believe. So why would they say this? But it's healthier to be like, this is the system that helps me out and gives me peace or gives me comfort about thinking about all of us being reunited after death or something. You know, stuff like that. That saying, like, you know, there are many religions. We don't know which one is the right one. A lot of them cover the same ground, so we all have it in common. And even just living your life, like, hey, I know right from wrong and these are my morals, you know, that's kind of a religion in of itself. That's, I think, a more healthy way to teach someone about religion other than just going, like, you need to do this or you'll be burning up for an eternity.

[Eggo Wodom]

But I thought of a Bible version that was like, perfect. Love casts out fear. Right. And I feel like a lot of people are Christian or religious or whatever because they're terrified of going to hell. And they're like, I don't want to go there. And so this is the thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You find a lot of people getting religion later in life of like, oh, no, death is coming up.

[Eggo Wodom]

What's my escape hatch? Yes. One of my friends just recently told me a story about, like, going home to the Midwest and saying something or like. Or. No, it was a text. A text with her dad. And she put God in lowercase the G, whatever. And her dad has lived quite a life and is a. Sounds like a fun wild man. And he goes, in this house, we capitalize the G. And she goes, wait, are you Christian now? And he's like, yes, and he's old, but he's like, now it's time.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is how I find out via text message from a text capitalization error.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. But I think that if the reason you're doing this is because you're scared of hell and we talk about the perfect love casts out fear, I'm like, I don't know that that's the right equation over there. That it's like, you don't want to go to that place so live like this. Anyway, I think that's very fascinating. Are there things in the ways your parents raised you that you want to emulate with your daughter? Or are there things that you're like, I do not want to do this beyond the religion.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do feel like, you know, I made a documentary about my parents romance, I guess for their anniversary, I made like a 15, 20 minute documentary where I interviewed them. And.

[Eggo Wodom]

That'S sweet. That's so sweet.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was because I also just never really, you know, we tell our kids these stories about ourselves and then you tell it once and then expect them to know it. You know what I mean? So these stories about my parents were all sort of jumbled up in my head, so I was like, I want to really remember these, you know. So, you know, a lot of it was just me putting a camera on my dad and talking to him about what he believes, you know, and so, so I do feel like I emulate sort of his relationship with my mom in a way. You know, I think about their just, you know, they both really took it seriously, you know what I mean? So I do think about that. And, you know, I mean, my mom and dad are both rule followers and I feel like I just inherited that where, you know, it killed me that I was five minutes late to this today.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, you know what I said to them? I go, I'm late to do bang bang. Always like 5 minutes late to bang bang. I'm always parking at the time you asked me to be there.

[Scott Aukerman]

To be fair, they just recently put in all these bike lanes on Hollywood Boulevard and it has slowed down traffic.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, what's your hot take? You want the bike is. You want the cyclist to die? You want to see cyclist D? Can I stop, by the way?

[Scott Aukerman]

But I do think cyclists have an attitude problem.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay? And that's fair. That's fair. People ride bikes on the sidewalk in New York. And I go, what are you doing? And enough.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's bizarre.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah, enough. And not appropriate. You cannot do that. Anyway, go ahead.

[Scott Aukerman]

But so I, I do think Occasionally there are things where I just say like, oh, wow, I do this like my dad would do, such as just, like, taking my relationship seriously. And. And I think, you know, like, divorce was never in a question.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

For them, you know, and so a lot of that can just be. If you never even, like, think of it as a possibility, then you never think of it as a possibility.

[Eggo Wodom]

Like, this is a person I'm committing to, it sounds like. But I don't wanna make an assumption here. Would you say I have this take that I share with friends sometimes? And it occurred to me, like, a few years ago where I was like, oh, I feel like you hear a good number of men say they can't wait to be a dad, whether or not they're gonna be a good dad. What is a good dad, whatever. But I don't hear as many men being like, I can't wait to be a husband. And do you think that's something that you're. It sounds like your dad took pride in.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so. Yeah, definitely. And I think for me, being a husband is like. Like it's such a responsibility because that person that you're getting married to is suddenly, like, you're a big part of their, you know, identity. And if you fuck up, then, you know, they're just. They're so.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, financially and. And suddenly they're. They're getting a divorce they never wanted.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then when you have a kid, it's like. Like, they didn't ask for any of this. They didn't even ask to be born.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they didn't ask for any of this. So it's like, it's. The responsibility of. It is like, a lot of. A lot of people go when they get married, they say, like, you're the perfect person for me. And that's. To me. To me, that's not the reason to get married. Of, like, oh, I can't find anyone better than you.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, like, oh, you're. You're so good. I'm never going to get sick of you. You know, everyone thinks about it in a very selfish way.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And to me, when I was getting married, it was purely like, need to take care of her kind of thing, where it was like, I need to make sure that she's gonna be okay if anything happens. You know what I mean? So it's very much a different kind of mindset for me of just like, as much as there are people who go, like, oh, I can't wait to grow old with you doing it now. Tell me it's not the fun part of marriage, right?

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay, what is the fun part, by the way?

[Scott Aukerman]

Truly, I do think that the. Just you can have fun or whatever, but marriage is just more about, like, comfort and stability and not feeling restless and feeling, you know, I also feel like at a certain point I have a friend getting married soon who resisted it for a long time. And I think like just some. A switch flipped in them where they were just like, oh, no, what am I doing? You know, And I heard, I think Jerry Seinfeld has talked about how he. He kept. He got sick of having the first date conversation over and over and over and over and over and over, you know, and you just want something deeper. You know what I mean? So I think it's. It's like that.

[Eggo Wodom]

Did you know you wanted to get married?

[Scott Aukerman]

I really felt like when I met Coolop, I was like, oh, this is someone I could get married to. So I, I took it very seriously early on, but again, I did it a little more. This is for her. This is, this is not me going, like, trying to lock something down.

[Eggo Wodom]

Like, so if I marry, it's like, I care so much about this person and I want to help make her life better.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I definitely, a lot of people are just like, I want to protect anyone else from having this person or.

[Eggo Wodom]

I want to take them off the market.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You know, like, all that kind of language is very, to me, not what it's about. It's. It's about. And this sounds very old fashioned, but this is also sort of my dad. It's like trying to provide for them.

[Eggo Wodom]

Or come up, you know, in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sense of I am trying to, you know, make sure they have a good environment and that kind of stuff.

[Eggo Wodom]

So. Yeah. Did you know you wanted to be a dad?

[Scott Aukerman]

I was kind of iffy on it, where it could have gone where one way or the other, but cool up, really wanted to.

[Eggo Wodom]

And that's something you were. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, and so we talked about it and said, okay, well, if you really want to, then I'll, you know, go ahead with it. But I, But I was a little like, like, I remember saying at one point, like, you know, I could take it or leave it. And then someone saying, well, once it happens, I think you'll be happy about.

[Eggo Wodom]

It, you know, and presumably you are very. You seem like it. I saw a very cute video of your daughter before we. I mean, I, I don't know how to. I don't have words. She's so adorable.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's hard being an old dad.

[Eggo Wodom]

You know, I remember my brother wanted to be a young like not teen dad, but I remember him specifically being like, I don't want to be an old dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like physically it's so much easier to be a young dad, but emotionally I don't, I wouldn't have been able to handle it.

[Eggo Wodom]

Right. What do you think as a younger dad you might not been able to handle Patience.

[Scott Aukerman]

And also the time commitment is just, it's. Yeah, you know, I have, we have a lot of help and it still was an, it's an extra 40 hour a week job for me.

[Eggo Wodom]

You know, of course I've said this already or at some points, I have a puppy. And I do not liken it to being a parent at all. I, I don't. But I used to think that maybe I could be a single mom like my mom who was one. Not by choice. It's not what she signed up for. When you're talking about here in a divorce that you didn't have, you know, didn't plan for yourself. But in my mind I was like, well, what if I planned to be a single mom? So I got this puppy. Unrelated, I was like, oh, I wanted a puppy last summer. And I go, oh, oh no. Cause I can afford to send him to daycare. And I go, this is, this is. And this is a puppy. This is different than.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's, it's a good starter in, in in giving you responsibility of like, oh, wow. These of the now. This is my schedule of what I have to do every day and I.

[Eggo Wodom]

Have to think about this and make.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure everything's all right.

[Eggo Wodom]

The daycare closes this time and I'm at SNL here and who's going to go grab him? So I think I realized in that moment or over the course of last summer, my friend has a puppy now. And she goes, no one talks about puppy depression. I go, yeah, no one really talked about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was like, puppy depression of just.

[Eggo Wodom]

Like having having a puppy in the care. No one talks about it. I'm like, no one warned of this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had a blood that was in the opening titles to my TV show and everything and was in the TV show all the time. Rocky. And Rocky passed away in 2016 right when the show wrapped. A couple months after the show wrapped. In fact, the final episode, I think had a dedication to him. But there were three months when I suddenly didn't have a dog that I was so happy.

[Eggo Wodom]

God bless and rip To Rocky. But I look at my dog, I'm in love with him. It took a little bit of time. By the way, did it take time for you to fall in love with your daughter's daughter?

[Scott Aukerman]

Daughter. My daughter I think I loved right from the beginning. My daughter.

[Eggo Wodom]

Someone just told me that they were like. They felt like their daughter was like, oh, interesting. Yeah. Somebody was like, I kind of had my daughter and was like, okay, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonder what it is, because I. I think it's taking care of anything, you know, like, people talk about blood or whatever, or like, oh, this. My daughter doesn't have any of my DNA because, you know, we had to get a different, you know. Yeah. All that kind of stuff. I don't think family's about that at all. Like, I think you can bond with. And dogs are kind of proof of that, you know, in a lot of ways.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. It's interesting, though, because this thing you're saying about. You felt. After Rocky passed, I look at my dog, who I now love, and I'm like, okay, we're in a groove. And I go, oh, I won't be doing this again, though. I don't think I'll be or certainly would not get a puppy again. I just would not do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was definitely, like, such a. Such a weight was off my shoulders in the sense of, like, oh, I don't have responsibilities anymore. This is great. And then Pulap was really sad and wanted another dog, so. And we got two, and that's such a mistake.

[Eggo Wodom]

And now a baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And I have three podcasts and a baby. But, yeah, it's just so much work that, you know, it's just a lot. So you have to really be in it in order to do it. And if you're a young person, I can only imagine kind of going like, I'm still trying to achieve my job. I'm still trying to achieve job stability, or I'm still, like, trying to work my way up the ladder, or, what am I doing with my life yet? And I have this. I can't concentrate on that because I have this. My focus is split. And I think that's why the whole male female dynamic of, like, no, I go to work and you take care of the kids. Like, existed, you know, but we don't do that at my house.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes, of course. Sure. We're living in a different time. As Sarah Perel talks about, she's like, there's a reason, like, those dynamics existed. And I don't know that she was in support of them right. But her point was like, we're in a different time now in the sense that. That the roles are not so clear cut now. And so it poses quite a few problems. I know, but she's not saying it's good or bad, but she was like, it just poses problems. Back in the day, those clear lines just created for a little.

[Scott Aukerman]

When Emmy was born, I was like, everyone said, hey, take some time off. And so I said, okay, I'm gonna take a month off.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And just expect. And this was, I think, something I shared with a few other people I talked to. Expecting that at the moment.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then, like, I would be relieved of some of the duties.

[Eggo Wodom]

I was like, what? It's just ramping up for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

And me and my friends were both like, I did not expect to never be relieved of those duties any longer.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, no. I don't know anything about being a mother. So I have two nieces. My sister in law, when she was pregnant with my. My youngest niece last year, her boss was like, she was like, I'm going on maternity leave now, you know, due any day. And he was like, so what's. What is that? Like you're gonna be gone for like four. He literally was like a month. And she goes, what are you. And then I said to her, I was like, does he have kids? And she's like, yes. And it was like, yeah. She's like, it's not four weeks, I promise you. What's been most surprising about being a dad for you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it definitely is one of those things where it just really makes you happy anytime you're around. You know, even kind of the annoying times, like where you're just like, fucking shut up. It still is. Like, then it'll turn within like two minutes and it'll be, you know, really happy again, you know, so that's. That's been really great. It definitely. And I have a friend who just had a baby who was just like, looked shell shocked and she, she was just like, it's really an adjustment. It's just your whole life is just. It's just so much more responsibility than I think a lot of people are ready for.

[Eggo Wodom]

Do you feel there's like any sort of parenting class you wish you took?

[Scott Aukerman]

I tr. You know, we, we were so. You know, our story.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is we had, we had so much trouble getting a baby. It was a ten year process. Oh, wow. And with a lot of. So many. I'll just say the word because it's clinical, but so many miscarriages that we. Or at Least I'm not going to speak for Kulat, but I. I mentally was sort of like, I'm not going to fully commit to this until I actually see a baby.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes, a baby. Yes, I understand. After. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

We eventually got there via surrogacy. We had one viable implantation, and it worked, and everything's great. But it was. It was definitely like, a thing where I did not read a single book about parenting or anything until suddenly she was here. And then it was like. We were like, okay, what do we do now?

[Eggo Wodom]

We weren't ready. It usually does. It hasn't worked out.

[Scott Aukerman]

They just hand you this baby at the end of, like, a day. Like, it's a Subway sandwich or something. And they're just like, this is yours now.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. Well, that's my idea about parents. I'm like, who even knows what they're doing? And, like, I've. I've heard parents express frustration about parenting experts who are like, you don't effing know. Like, you and your little book and this is the way. And it's like, we're kind of all figuring it out. It sounds like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I definitely. Occasionally, some cool op will mainly send me, like, something on Instagram. That's like a little tip of, hey, don't do this with your kids. But I think it was a lot of. It was just not me reading stuff and me just kind of looking around at parenting and going like, this is kind of how I feel about it. This is how I felt about growing up. This is what I want to adjust. But then, you know the other stuff. Yes. You have to, like, baby proof your home, and this is how you do it.

[Eggo Wodom]

There are some things that are just cold, hard facts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You know, I'm not one of those parents who's like, oh, no. We don't even send our kids to school because we want them to learn.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay. We're not two. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, we're. I definitely know what I'm doing. The baby's growing up great.

[Eggo Wodom]

And. No. And is brilliant. I think I'm shook by how adorable she is. Truly. Do you want to be friends with your daughter? I'm fascinated by that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't feel the responsibility of, like, I need you to grow up to be this type of person.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I really just want our relationship to be good.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, good. Yeah. That's nice. That's really nice. I don't mean this so crassly, but I'm like, you know, you're kind of like, your priority is that your relationship with your Daughter is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I. I hope you have hopes of, like, I hope she's not mean.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, that's the biggest, I think, fear.

[Eggo Wodom]

That's lovely. I don't think she will be.

[Scott Aukerman]

She. Right now. She's very sweet, but.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just, you know, all sorts of stuff happen.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. It's interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to protect her so that these terrible things you read about don't happen, you know, but stuff like that. No, I just. I just. I don't really care, like, what her personality is or what she decides to do with her life or whatever. It's just really. I just hope we can stay close.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, wonderful. And so you want her to be able to talk to you about anything?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. Cool. I want to talk to you about something because I end all these episodes asking my dad for the day for a piece of advice. Okay. I bought a house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Eggo Wodom]

And I'm trying to renovate it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which state?

[Eggo Wodom]

In California. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. The fire insurance is going to be crazy.

[Eggo Wodom]

It's too late for. Is it too late for me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you got to get out. Okay.

[Eggo Wodom]

I should. Okay. Pull out of the house. It's mine now, so now I have to figure out how to sell it. Then I'll need advice on how to sell. I want to do renovations. What would you say to look out for help?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So are you having. You're having a contractor do it?

[Eggo Wodom]

I'm going to have some. I'm going to have like a designer's contractor. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Designer. First thing.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you. Do you need a architect involved at all?

[Eggo Wodom]

I think the architect, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you'll get a. First. First you'll get a contractor who will probably recommend an architect.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who will then come in and. And show you the plans and all that kind of stuff. And they'll. They'll come up with a plan together.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

They will quote you how long it's going to take. It will take at least double.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay. Wonderful to know. I feel like everyone says this.

[Scott Aukerman]

The money also there. There will always be kind of an issue. So I would budget.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, at, you know, some people would probably say double. It'll end up double what they said.

[Eggo Wodom]

Do I tell them what my budget is up top or bad or good? Very.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, if you are on a strict budget, sure. Certainly tell them that. And then it'll still be double. I would hope not then. Because then you can start to have discussions with them of like, hey, you said you could bring it in for this much.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But there will always Be issues where they come in and go like, hey, look, we took the walls out and here's this problem. And it will be an extra 10. And then you just have to decide for yourself of like, okay, do I spend the extra money on this or do I cheapen out? You know, so I, when I say it'll end up being double, I think that's when you go in without a budget like we did and just said like, just do these things.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. Okay, okay, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

They, if you are really on a budget, they tend to stack jobs up so that they're at a bunch of different sites at the simultaneously. So there will like sometimes weeks, sometimes months will go by without you seeing any of the people.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like why aren't they here today?

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay. Oh, I see what you're saying. Because they're like, we need to make this money.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they have a bunch of jobs simultaneously so that they are not just earning your money right that month.

[Eggo Wodom]

Okay. Because yours is not enough. You have a budget. Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So they will have several houses in the neighborhood and they sometimes will come by like, oh, they're here right at 7 or 8am oh, they left at noon. Or they're just gone. And then maybe you won't see them for a while, you know, because they're at the other houses or whatever or. And they'll always say like, oh, we're waiting for materials or you know, stuff like that. But they're usually like at another job just kind of doing that. So if there's a time issue, that's why it usually takes double of what they say is because they're, they're, they're pie in the sky and they're trying to get your business convinced me. Okay, so just expect delays. Expect, you know, it to be more money. And you know when people start saying like, well, it's not up to code, but we could do such and such, that tends to bite you in the ass. You know, like try to insist on everything being up to code if you can.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And have fun with it.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh my. That's the age old answer every time. Will you come to my one woman show if I were to write a new one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh boy.

[Eggo Wodom]

You're my dad for the day and you still are. Deadbeat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Am I gonna be disappointed? Okay, I was a dead. This is a.

[Eggo Wodom]

This an old joke, guys. I'm sorry. We should fill everyone. Yes, please. Scott. Maybe your version of the story and then mine. The truth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I know Ego. Ego had a one woman show and it just Never worked out the timing for me.

[Eggo Wodom]

I was gonna say my one woman show didn't work out. It wasn't good enough.

[Scott Aukerman]

From what I hear, it was great. But there was one time where I almost ended up going. Right. It's like that something happened.

[Eggo Wodom]

I think something did happen, but I think it's like sitting out on the stoop like, they said, dad's gonna pick you up this weekend. And I have my bags. And he told me he's gonna take me out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you don't care if I. This is just. This is a bit right. You don't care if I win or not.

[Eggo Wodom]

No. I'm going to write another one woman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Show and I would love to come.

[Eggo Wodom]

Even if it's in New York.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean.

[Eggo Wodom]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will you fly me business class?

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. Okay. That's also inside. I'll ask you. You're funny. I love Scott. Okay. Thank you so much for being here and having this earnest conversation with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I feel like we barely scratched the surface even. I feel like I'll learn even more. So if you continue doing the show, I would love to come back.

[Eggo Wodom]

I would absolutely love you to come back. I also feel like we barely scraped the surface, but I. Oddly, I've known Scott now years, I think since the year. Hold on. Math, math, math.

[Scott Aukerman]

2017.

[Eggo Wodom]

I was going to say 2017. And I didn't know all of this, and so it feels really nice. And we've gone on tour together and we, you know, gotten to do Bang bang, which is like a true joy of my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's wonderful having you on.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yeah. Thank you. And guys, listen to comedy Bang Bang. It's pure joy. It truly pure joy.

[Scott Aukerman]

And listen to this show. Go back and listen to this one again.

[Eggo Wodom]

Yes. And we're going to have Scott come back and be my dad. We'll see if we can get him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come back as I am your father and I love you.

[Eggo Wodom]

Thank you, Scotty. I love you, dad. Okay, bye, guys. Thanks. Dad is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, Ego Wodem. The show is produced and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Konowskaya with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason Matheny for our show art and Ferris Monchy for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe, just maybe, we'll read it on a future episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a Headgum Podcast.

[C]

Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the so True podcast, now on Headgum. Every week, me and my guests get into it and we get down to to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittney Broski or Drew A. Fualo, or my actual biological mother, Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth, and if we find it, great. And if not, no worries. So subscribe to so True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the so True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love.