Taran Killam

Summary

Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim Episode: Taran Killam
Release Date: February 24, 2026
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts / Big Money Players

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Episode Overview

This heartfelt and hilarious episode of "Thanks Dad" features Ego Nwodim in conversation with actor/comedian and former SNL star Taran Killam. The pair dive into fatherhood, football fandom, marriage, parenting in LA, and the complex emotions of relationships and career in the entertainment industry. Taran shares stories about his family, upbringing, balancing work and family as an SNL cast member, and his approach to raising daughters while keeping them grounded amidst Hollywood. The episode is full of personal anecdotes, honesty about relationship struggles, and practical advice, all wrapped in the show's characteristic warmth and wit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Warm Up: Mutual Admiration & Comedy Talk

• Light banter about introductions and mutual comedic respect. (02:25–03:20)
  • Taran lauds Ego’s work on “Comedy Bang Bang,” specifically her “Master Pasta” character.
  • Taran: "Master Pasta is so deliciously dumb." (03:42)
• Both talk about letting loose comedically on podcasts in ways they can't elsewhere.

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2. Thanks To… and the Power of Grandparents

• Opening question: "Who or what do you want to say thanks to?" (04:44)
  • Taran thanks his 96-year-old grandmother ("nanny"), his father’s mother, for her immense and sustained presence in his life.
  • Taran shares how his nanny enabled him to attend the LA County High School for the Arts by driving him daily for a year.
  • Quote: "She’s just like the grandparent who's definitely there the most for our extended family… and did that for a full year." (05:03–06:11)
  • Taran jokes that his grandma is his podcast agent: "She brokered the deal." (05:19)

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3. On Being a ‘Girl Dad’ and Sports Fandom

• Sports talk, parenting, and passing on interests to kids. (06:21–13:23)
  • Taran, a proud "girl dad" with two daughters, buys himself a "#1 Dad" Rams shirt as his girls aren’t interested in gifting or sharing his fandom ("The lazy, ungrateful bums." 06:37).
  • Taran patiently corrects Ego’s LA football confusion, giving a brief, passionate history of the Rams and the Chargers.
    • Quote: "Chargers have always been San Diego… Now they're the LA Chargers. But they came a year after the Rams returned." (09:18–09:38)
  • Taran and Ego bond over different levels of sports literacy:
    • Ego: "I'm Baby Sports Girl." / Taran: "You're a little more… We're in toddler phase now." (10:46–10:54)
  • Discussing the communal joy of sports more than the technical aspects.
    • Taran: "Where my love comes from is the gather… People bring snacks… and it's a cultural conversation." (12:07–12:39)

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4. Making Football Fans (or Not) at Home

• Passing on interests without pressure. (13:23–14:39)
  • Taran admits his kids absorb some football knowledge by osmosis ("just through wearing them down"), but makes clear there’s no obligation for them to share his passion.
    • "…they'll throw out, like, 'which down is it?' and... [I] play cool… But no obligation." (13:32–13:59)
  • He sees utility in his daughters knowing football for future social or work situations.

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5. Parenting Styles & Supporting Daughters’ Paths

• Discusses daughters’ personalities, ambitions, and nurturing independence. (16:55–18:24)
  • His older daughter moved from a “vibes mastery” school to a more academic one and is considering business/marketing.
    • "I don't know what my passion is yet… but when the time comes, I want my education to support it." (17:52–18:08)
  • Youngest is saving her own money for a guitar/amp; Killam explains their family’s allowance system (25:11–25:32) and credits his wife, Cobie, for this approach.

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6. Marriage & Long-Distance Family Life (SNL Years)

• The challenge of East Coast/West Coast marriage with kids. (26:21–36:01)
  • Taran recounts flying home to LA every SNL hiatus and stresses of balancing work/family: "For four years, every hiatus, I'd fly back."
  • Recognizes the emotional strain of wanting to be celebrated after SNL while his wife managed home life:
    • "Wanting to be celebrated a little bit. I was like, I just accomplished a thing." (33:14)
    • Credits couples counseling for giving them tools: "No solution… but here's some language skills to talk about it with each other." (34:35)

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7. Meeting and Dating His Wife, Cobie Smulders

• Sweet, detailed story of how they met, first dates, and a temporary breakup. (43:05–53:45)
  • They met through friends in showbiz, bonded over comedy (watching Ali G/Borat), and had wholesome first dates (brownie baking, mini golf).
  • Taran describes a 48-hour breakup at 24, led by panic about 'the rest of his life':
    • "The real real was like, I don't want to be done having sex with other people, I think was the base truth." (50:26)
    • He apologizes, commits to openness/honesty, and they reunite.
    • Reflects on emotional growth, attributing vulnerability skills to his parents:
      • "A real man can say I love you to another man. And a real man can cry and show their feeling, talk about their feelings." (52:50)

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8. Parenting Philosophy & Navigating Fatherhood with Daughters

• Transforming expectations of fatherhood, gender, and embracing change. (57:44–60:05)
  • Taran and Ego discuss challenging and changing expectations—Taran confesses his initial "ego/narcissism" about wanting a son but has since found joy and identity in being a girl dad.
    • "This is the first vagina I am seeing in my life that is not an object of sexual pursuit…You, I have to clean and care for this now." (59:17)
    • Now sees his kids’ unique personalities as the best thing he’ll ever do.

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9. Keeping Kids Grounded in Los Angeles

• On values, status, and Hollywood insulation. (62:36–65:54)
  • Taran and Cobie’s joint approach is about prioritizing kindness, discouraging status-seeking, emphasizing gratitude, and exposing their kids to the world beyond LA.
    • "Getting them into nature. Nature is so important… They have to work for things, earn chore money…" (64:00–65:09)
  • Strict with devices: Older daughter didn’t get her first phone until 14.

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10. Listener Advice Segment — “That’s Nice, But What About Me?”

• Taran and Ego share self-care practices in response to a listener question. (67:42–70:12)
  • Taran: "Sleep and water."
  • Ego: "Truly reading… I love a good meal."
  • Taran extols the restorative joys of water and floating: "I love to like float in an ocean under the surface… very peaceful to me." (69:41)
  • They have fun riffing philosophically on signs, self-care, and being open to whatever brings you joy.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On familial support:

  • Taran: "My 96-year-old nanny… for indirectly causing my existence… she drove me almost every morning [so I could attend arts high school]." (04:44–06:12)

• On marriage and SNL:

  • "To come back and suddenly want to make up for lost time and be present was certainly a challenge for me." (33:13)
  • "There was no solution...but here's some language skills to talk about it with each other." (34:35)

• On millennial dating and apps:

  • Ego: "Dating is so gamified now… It's like Temple Run on your phone. It's Candy Crush." (39:27–39:52)

• On relationships and fear of commitment:

  • Taran: "As an immature man, I've been in this relationship trying to protect myself...and even in these two days [apart], the idea of not being with you makes me so much more unhappy than the risk…" (50:48–51:12)

• On fatherhood and expectations:

  • "This is the first vagina I am seeing that is not an object of sexual pursuit… It was a thing. I have to clean and care for this now." (59:17)
  • "It's the best thing I will ever do." (60:05)

• On keeping kids grounded in LA:

  • "We love performing… doing it at every level brings us joy. Doing it for recognition really is not of interest to us." (62:45)
  • "We want you to be kind… not self-centered all the time." (65:21)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Thanking grandma & family story: 04:44–06:12
• Parenting, gender, and first reactions to having daughters: 57:44–60:05
• Marriage and navigating SNL years: 26:21–36:01
• How Taran met his wife: 43:05–48:24
• The breakup and emotional honesty: 48:28–53:45
• Grounding kids in LA: 62:36–65:54
• Listener self-care advice segment: 67:42–70:12

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Overall Tone & Style

The conversation is funny, authentic, and deeply human—balancing playful banter (musicals, candy walls, dumb sport stats) with meaningful introspection (relationships, parenting, vulnerability). Both Ego and Taran share personal stories with candor and affection, offering useful perspective and hearty laughs for listeners who relate—or aspire to.

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Memorable Closing
"Thank you so much, Taran Killam—you're the best… Josh’s and Zach’s could be the same name. I believe it. Find a Josh and ask how they self-care." (71:02–71:12)

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For more episodes or to ask a question, call the show or tune in next week for more funny, real conversations about dads, family, and life.

Transcript

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[D]

It's time I have to read your intro.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Because I don't want to get anything wrong.

[A]

You can get it wrong and I'll. I will forgive you.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I'd make it up.

[D]

All right. Our next guest is a two time award winning champion of Miss Miss USA America.

[A]

He came in when I was changing.

[D]

You know our next guest. I know our next guest from Saturday Night Live, Hamilton and stumble on NBC. Excuse me. It's Taran Killer.

[A]

I love it. Excuse me. You're excused.

[D]

How are you?

[A]

I'm wonderful. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to speak to you.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

We've crossed paths, but we've never had hang time.

[D]

We've never. This is fresh.

[A]

This is nice.

[D]

Are you nervous at all?

[A]

Always a little bit of on camera, but not specific to your show. And certainly your presence puts me more at ease.

[D]

Thank you. I will take that as a compliment. It could have been. It could have been an insult. Then you. But then you rounded it out is a compliment.

[A]

Ease is better than you know.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

What is. It doesn't matter. It's not that. It all matters, but you. I just. I respect your talent and the little social crossover of hearsay and. And people I think we both mutually love and it' spent more time with.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Speak very highly of you and. And really you on Comedy Bang Bang is like one of my favorite things ever.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you. Master Pasta is so deliciously dumb. Thank you.

[D]

It's so stupid.

[A]

And that's really down the line.

[D]

Thank you. It's really the first time I did it. Me being like in Italy on a cliff isn't when I did it, but when I came up with it and wrote it in my notes, I was like, I know this. I was on a cliff eating dinner in the. In Patano. And I was like, I know a past. The past.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Which is so nothing and dumb. But also when people say they've heard me on Comedy Bang Bang, I immediately clench a little bit intense. Right. Let me tell you why. That is me. That is me being me. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

In a way that I don't think I'm me anywhere else. It is.

[A]

Yeah. I understand that. Like, it's. It's. I think Scott grants full permission to be unhinged.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And that is why it's one of my favorite things to do and favorite things to listen to.

[D]

It's so fun. But thank you. Thank you so much. I have to ask you immediately off the bat, out the gate, who or what do you want to say thanks to.

[A]

I thought about this. I read the prompt, I went through. I did all sorts of bits.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I'm going to say thank you to my nanny, my 96 year old nanny, my father's mother.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

For life, for giving, for indirectly causing my existence.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

But she's. She's just like the grandparent who's definitely there the most for our extended family.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And that felt like she. Yeah. Long overdue. A long overdue. Thank you.

[D]

Oh, will she listen to the podcast?

[A]

Yeah, frequently.

[D]

Will.

[A]

She told me to do it.

[D]

Oh, that's so sweet.

[A]

She's my podcast agent, actually. She brokered the deal.

[D]

She's gonna get 10.

[A]

She gets 10. She gets. That's so sweet. Yeah.

[D]

Okay. We have thanks to her. That's really special because to hear. 96 years old. Yes. And still acting as GL for the family on an.

[A]

On the dating. I know.

[D]

Phenomenal.

[A]

That's what you did. Her. Her specific contribution to me is I went to. I'm a Southern California guy, as we spoke a little bit before. And my family was living in Big Bear when I was accepted to laksa, which is the LA County High School for the Arts.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And enable to. To enable me to attend. I would come down the hill, as we say, during the week, stay with my grandma in Long beach. And she drove me almost every morning to the campus of Cal State LA. Opposite ends of the 710.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And did that for a full year.

[D]

Oh, she loves you.

[A]

So that alone. Yeah, she loves me. Yeah.

[D]

That's sweet. That is. I'm shouting her out too.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Because that's very cool. That's very special. How many kids do you have now?

[A]

I have two daughters.

[D]

Two daughters. Girl dad.

[A]

Girl dad.

[D]

Do you have like a sticker or a sweatshirt or a mug?

[A]

I don't. And I even. I'm a big Los Angeles Rams fan.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And had to purchase my own Rams colors number one dad shirt.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Because they weren't going to go.

[D]

They were not having it.

[A]

The lazy, ungrateful bums. I'd like. Can we. Can I throw out an Unthank too? We got a couple of those brewing.

[D]

Really pissed at those young ladies I helped create indirectly.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Rams fan. I have to ask because I'm not Giant Sport Sports Girl, but I'm Baby Sports Girl.

[A]

Okay. You said. Okay. I. Okay, got it. Because I am such a sport. When you said Giant Sports Girl. And New York Giants. New York Giants or San Francisco Giants Baseball.

[D]

Baltimore. And so just off Ravens. Ravens.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Great hometown pride. I do have Orioles, Ravens, Cal Ripken Jr. But I also enjoy the Yankees. Yeah, and I also enjoy the Knicks.

[A]

We've both had New York thrust upon us in. In similar ways.

[D]

So do you care about the Knicks still?

[A]

I like the Knicks. That's an like Knicks and Mets. Blue and orange is easy to root for. It's a fun underdog color combination.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Going to Met Stadium is a. A breeze. Have you done it recently?

[D]

It's been a little while, but it's very nice.

[A]

Yankees not as easy unless you have a particular kind of ticket hookup.

[D]

And I've had that ticket hookup before. I know your name and I. Let me tell you what, the last time I went with that ticket hookup, it was pouring down rain.

[A]

No good.

[D]

I mean it was an aggressive.

[A]

Even the billionaires get wet in rain. You know what I mean? Even the billionaire Yankee fans get wet.

[D]

Yeah. Humbling experience, if you will.

[A]

You go inside to that lounge, that

[D]

candy and then the candy.

[A]

There's a candy wall.

[D]

There's the. The ring pops. There' ring pops.

[A]

Love as far as the eye can see.

[D]

Last time I was there and this was. I had so much respect for this man.

[A]

Five rings on each hand.

[D]

Even better.

[A]

Okay, I'm excited.

[D]

Even better. I saw a man, he said decorum. He had a bag and he was empty, emptying out the bowls.

[A]

He had his man.

[D]

I mean, genuinely emptying the bowls. Like no kind of shame whatsoever. And I thought, you know what? You were in this fancy schmancy lounge and you don't give a fuck. And I.

[A]

And Halloween is taken care of. Yes.

[D]

It was in fact August. And you know what? He might have been prepping for Halloween.

[A]

He's a prepper and he was giving

[D]

out the good candy.

[A]

He took his. He took his man, his merse full of ring pops back to his underground bunker where he just has barrels of distilled water.

[D]

Truly. I was like, this is crazy. He doesn't care. Respect. I want to. I aspire to have that kind of. I don't care what anyone thinks at some point.

[A]

That's like negative fucks.

[D]

Yes. It's like, I don't. I mean, we're talking in the red.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay. Rams though. I'm asking because aren't Rams an newish to the city? I know LA had a team. It was the Chargers. See? No, no. Did I make this up?

[A]

That's very wrong. And as a Rams fan, I have to correct you on that. Chargers have always been San Diego. San Diego. And then they moved to Carson because they're petulant and the city didn't buy them a fancier new stadium. So they left a two hour drive north. Lame.

[D]

So now they're the Carson Chargers.

[A]

Now they're the LA Chargers. But they came a year after the Rams return.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

The Rams had played in LA for many years, then moved to Anaheim and were still Southern California based. Then they moved to St. Louis.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And they were the St. Louis Rams for almost 30 years. I think it was like 94 to 2015.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Do you want me to verify this before we move on?

[D]

No. Because honestly.

[A]

Okay. Not a stickler for stats.

[D]

I'm not a stickler for stats. But somebody listening is. Remember baby sports.

[A]

Baby sports. Little teeny junior sports.

[D]

Little baby. But here's the thing I do want to say. I wasn't totally off base to mention Chargers and la.

[A]

You're in the ballpark. Pun intended.

[D]

Wrong. You just have strong feelings about it as well.

[A]

Chargers were not here before the Rams though. It was the real sticking point.

[D]

He's getting. I feel scared.

[A]

It's just. It's just. It's just our owner, San Cronkey, he paid for Sofi Stadium and they're like our new roommates that are helping pay rent. But they're new. They're more new.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And not as. Not as accomplished of a football team.

[D]

Okay. Statistically, fair enough. I get it. The Rams went to the Super Bowl a few years back. They were in the playoffs this year. Again. What I tell you? Baby sports. I know my sports. Baby sports.

[A]

I know tangential sports. Tangential sports still kind of in the parentheticals.

[D]

You understand? I'm still trying to understand what is happening in the game. Four chances to go 10 yards. You're.

[A]

You're a little more. We're in toddler phase now.

[D]

Oh, toddler.

[A]

Okay. Not a baby anymore.

[D]

Okay. I'm two, three.

[A]

Standing on your own two feet.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I'm two years old.

[A]

An occasional accident, but that's okay. We don't shame. No.

[D]

And it's okay.

[A]

Cuz we want hold your hand. We take you and big girl. Big girl do it by herself.

[D]

Thank you. I'm getting better every day. I feel it. I'm getting better every day.

[A]

No, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Football rules. W. Complicated by far.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But sometimes with football, I'm just. And I maybe have said this on the pod before. Maybe. But it is the thought I have where I go. I hate how confused I am because I know that the dumbest dumb Dummy knows what's going on. And I. So I feel the need to really figure it out. Except for I just. I'm like. I enjoy halftime shows. I enjoy knowing the stars of the teams. I enjoy watching the stars. We love them.

[A]

Please come out through your. Through your pyrotechnical smoke in your backstage tunnel and appear before us.

[D]

Let me see your little touchdown.

[A]

Presenting your Los Angeles Rams stars.

[D]

I'm like, I want to see a little dance.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

But I know. I know enough to get by, but I don't know.

[A]

The watch of it is like, what? Huh? Why did they blow the whistle again? We're stopping again.

[D]

Why we gotta stop again? Can we just get to the end of the game?

[A]

This is true. I agree and understand and support all of that. You've kind of touched upon what my favorite thing about football is. And where my love comes from is the gather. It is the halftime. It is the snacks. It is people gather because there's so few games and because there's. There's such a high rate of injury. Play more. More sport. There's a preciousness to it. So people bring the snacks and you talk and the. And super bowl commercials matter. And it's a. It's a cultural conversation. And that gather element is what initially hooked me.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I do know the rules now. And once I learned the rules, what I appreciate about football more than almost any other sport is that each individual. It's that preciousness still, it's a different version of that preciousness. Each individual play has such tension, right? Basketball, soccer, the same thing. The same thing until the very end, and then there's tension. But with football, every time they hike it, something phenomenal, something game changing could happen, something life changing, going back to injuries could change. And that tension, I think, is what really holds me as a football fan.

[D]

Okay. You have sold me on the art of football. The art, the sport as well. No, you're working. Honestly, it's been awesome talking to you, Tara.

[A]

Thank you so much. Thank you.

[D]

And have you. Are you making your. Your daughters sports fans? Football fans specifically.

[A]

How are we against their will?

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But it's happened just through. Like, it's just wearing them down. I've just worn them down over time because none of the women in my house, including my wife, like, are invested. But I do already feel like, oh, who's winning? You know, like, they'll throw out, like, which down is it? And, like, I have to play cool. And I'll be like, third. Third and short.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's happening. And. And if I give them anything, they don't, there's no obligation to be as into it as me. It is like sort of the dad's thing and I'm happy to share with you, but no obligation. But yes, as my girls launch into the world, I know there will come a time where they are in a work situation, a social some situation, and football comes up and they get to present knowledgeable about it. Whether or not. Whether or not passionate, that's not we're talking about. But knowledgeable enough to keep that conversation going, which will lead to some future opportunity. And that alone is worthwhile.

[D]

It's. You know, it's true. I often think it is a missed opportunity to not know more about football because I think people are quite impressed when someone especially who's not passionate about it can be like, I know what's going on here. I know exactly what's happening. I know the stats. I know. I know how this play should go. Here I am just watching high. I do enjoy a highlight.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

May I ask you in. Maybe. I think, yeah. LA played. LA played the. The Bears.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

And yes. The Bears lost.

[A]

Or the Bears lost. The highlight of that game is a Bears play.

[D]

That's a beautiful throw.

[A]

Beautiful throw.

[D]

That's a beautiful throw. Beautiful.

[A]

Chaotic. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Buttery gold. Royal blues. Royal blues. A cinnamon. Orange. Orange. Cinnamon.

[D]

I'm talking about a cinnamon.

[A]

It's a soldier field. That full salute for that cinnamon. Orange royal navy blue. Toss to the corner. Surely was stage. He threw it.

[D]

I mean, and if only. If only they could have won the game.

[A]

If only.

[D]

But yes, your team.

[A]

We were victorious that game.

[D]

Victorious.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, we won that one. And then we won the next one.

[D]

Beautiful song.

[A]

Next was waiting for you to meet me here. I can give you here.

[D]

I can do here.

[A]

We lost to the ultimate Super Bowl. The eventual super bowl champs, the Seahawks.

[D]

Okay, I'm. I'm happy with the Seahawks. Did you find the super bowl to be boring in terms of gameplay?

[A]

I absolutely did.

[D]

I didn't even know what was going on. And with all due respect, I was like, oh, this feels like boring in a way that it usually isn't.

[A]

So bored. The most impressive stat is that it was the most kicks, most field goals scored in a Super Bowl.

[D]

Somebody said to me that when it's a defensive game like that, it's boring. So I didn't know what it meant. But I've retained it now to be able to say in conversation, like to you, yes.

[A]

And the continuation of this conversation shall proceed because Of. Of your. Because I said conversational knowledge of football.

[D]

Because. Exactly. Just enough to get back.

[A]

And now you're trapped. And now I'm scrapped. And now I'm realizing, oh, God, what have I done to my children?

[D]

You're gonna be this.

[A]

Oh, God, they're trapped in football conversations for the rest of their life.

[D]

Have either one of them expressed interest in being performers?

[A]

You know, that's a great question. It's fluctuated. My oldest, I think, has really beautiful, natural, performative talent and grew out of it in middle school, but she loves the creative community of it. Then she changed schools in high school per her choice. And. And it really was a beautiful thing because she kind of came alive academically. She went from a place that was very, like, social emotional development and, like, you don't get grades.

[D]

Oh, vibes mastery.

[A]

You get approaching technical mastery kind of thing. And she wanted to. She's like, where am I? What's my number? Give me a number.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

That has changed her. She's a junior in high school right now, and. And she's, you know, the college conversation's happening, and for the last year and change, it's been. I think I might end up being a business or marketing major.

[D]

I know that's right.

[A]

I'm glad you think so. And I understand it because she's like, I don't know what my passion is yet. I don't know what I want to do yet. But when the time comes, I want my education to be able to support it so that I can run it myself. I can launch it. I can set up all the right thing.

[D]

That's very.

[A]

Somebody's doing something. Thank you.

[D]

I mean, shout out to you and your. Okay.

[A]

Shout out to her mom.

[D]

Shout out to mom as well. Okay.

[A]

I'm all right. It's some false. False humility, but team effort.

[D]

I'll say it for you. I don't say. I'll say it so you don't have to shout out to her parents.

[A]

I don't know if I'm a good dad.

[D]

I'm here to build you up.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you, Buttercup.

[D]

No, well, I. I think not Demeaning.

[A]

That's a song lyric.

[D]

Thank you, butter. Listen, you saying thank you, Buttercup, to me, I simply take no issue whether it was demeaning or not.

[A]

I heard it out loud. No, you probably. My brain works in song lyrics frequently. Why do you build me up, Buttercup? And then us conversationally and still getting to know each other on camera under the keynote lights. I was like, no, that's didn't feel right.

[D]

Here's what I want to say. Don't. Please don't. No, I was fine with it. I understand your instinct to apologize.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

For other people, not for me.

[A]

Okay, great.

[D]

I'm gonna also. My brain works in song.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

And I wonder if we have mental illness.

[A]

I. I'm open to it. I'm willing to do the test study.

[D]

Because I would do the test.

[A]

It happens with frequency.

[D]

Amazing. Because we have someone here today who's going to test both of us.

[A]

Dr. Lyrics.

[D]

Dr. Lyrics.

[A]

I'm Dr. Lyrics and I'm here to hear it. If you have the disease at a.

[D]

It's good.

[A]

Yeah. Let's write a musical.

[D]

I don't know if I'd be any good at it.

[A]

Together.

[D]

No, I could do. I could. I could. I could. I could be the book.

[A]

You write the book.

[D]

Yes. That's what I'll do. I'll do that and you do the lyrics. And then we're gonna do that. Look at my eyes.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

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[D]

Your daughter though, saying that I think is really remarkable in that she is 17 ish 16. I think it's crazy that we ever make a person that age decide what they want to do for their life. Of course in terms of a major I just think it's crazy. And obviously there's free reign ultimately in many cases in that many people are not using Their degrees and they're doing something different. But I'm like, yeah, why are we letting what 16 year old knows what they want to do forever, ever. That's not.

[A]

Ever, ever, ever. Forever Never seems that long until you're grown.

[D]

Ms. Jackson, my intentions are good.

[A]

I don't know if I could forever become a magician to abracadabra all this out of.

[D]

I can't afford this.

[A]

Okay. But I'm trying not to. Trying to keep it one note.

[D]

We can't pay for this.

[A]

Sixteen bars. What is it? No, it's 60. It's eight notes. Eight notes of melody.

[D]

We're not allowed. That was such a good song.

[A]

That was. That was freshman year of college for me and Ms. Jackson. Was.

[D]

Yeah, it was. Okay, but wait, your daughter smart.

[A]

She's smart. She's smart. I'm eventually gonna answer your initial question, which. And I'll just jump to it, which is only recently she gone. Like, I do like creative people though, so maybe we should look at colleges that have like management schools, executive man, whatever. And arts.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Because she's. She's a wonderful writer. When she was really young, she would write like really profound poetry. Like, did that for years. And those were like the birthday gifts that were like, oh, God. You know your birthday poem you'd look forward to.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's so she. And then my youngest one, she's like more shy, but she has just recently said, like, I think maybe I'd want to take singing classes. And. And what's real. This is what's really. I mean, there's so many cool things about both my daughters, but my youngest is saving her own money for her first big purchase, which is an electric guitar and an amp.

[D]

Incredible.

[A]

Badass.

[D]

How incredible? Okay. May I ask how your youngest is making money? Are we giving.

[A]

Are we giving a lounge schedule? And there. And. And basically there's like. You don't add, you subtract. Right. It's like this money's yours, it's on the table, it's yours to claim.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But if this doesn't get accomplished by a certain point, it's. It reduces in amounts and. And then the week goes by and.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, like that. Starting with an amount to begin.

[A]

That is Mom. That's all Mom.

[D]

That's okay. Do you know how mom came up with that concept?

[A]

I don't. Mom's really good at, like, listening to, like, the young female development books. There's a book called Tangled, which a lot of. A lot of parents have read and helps you deal with the Adolescent female mind and how to be there to like. Like what part of the. The verbiage we use sort of the words we is like, do you. Are you do need me to listen right now, or are you looking for help and let them take control of that? Yeah, there's a lot of.

[D]

That's good. That's good for relationships. Adult 100.

[A]

When I was flying back and forth from LA to New York for work, Kobe and I, we went to our first couples counseling and he gave us great language to help help each other.

[D]

Yeah. By the way, I had heard the lore of you flying back and forth, and I think you and I had a quick conversation in passing. Can't say where. Don't know if you remember where.

[A]

Kansas City. Yeah.

[D]

Kansas City. It must have been Kansas City. I'm gonna need you to do that two more times in this episode to find a place.

[A]

Yes, ma'.

[D]

Am. Okay. Thank you. Just for me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Tickled by it.

[A]

Can do.

[D]

So you. I had heard the lore of you flying from New York to LA to be with what, your wife.

[A]

Every hiatus.

[D]

Every single.

[A]

My oldest was born. My oldest was one.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

When I got that job. And for four years, every hiatus, I'd fly back.

[D]

And then what happened the last two years, they.

[A]

Her Kobe's job finished in LA and we moved out there full time.

[D]

Okay. Oh, my goodness. Every single hiatus. Did I hear that you also did on some Sundays. Just for a Sunday. Monday.

[A]

Most. Most. No, I don't think I.

[D]

That was crazy.

[A]

That's too much. That's the.

[D]

That's not useless.

[A]

What was really fun was, like, there was one time where I went to, like, my local grocery store on a Sunday and I'd. Because what I would do is the afterparty, the after, after cab at 5am on a 6:30am flight and like, at 10am at the grocery store back in LA, like, going, like, last night was a new. Was a new episode. Yeah. What are you doing here?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And that was really fun.

[D]

That was. I flew for a friend's wedding. My first season, I believe. First. Second season.

[A]

Where was the wedding?

[D]

The wedding was here in la, not Kansas City. Oh, nice. You're gonna really. Okay, that's one.

[A]

He loves the game we love.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

He loves playing games. He loves.

[D]

I just feel like you're gonna let me forget about it. I had already.

[A]

It's now the button. If I'm playing by the rules, it's now the button of the episode already canceled. But maybe. Or is that the third one? No, no, no.

[D]

No, no.

[A]

Okay, okay. There's another one.

[D]

Mine was non committal so as to leave room for you. I didn't want to steal your thunder.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

But I flew. It was la and I flew from New York to la. And at the wedding, it was also my birthday. The wedding was on my birthday. Which is not a flex. No, no, it's. What are you gonna not have your wedding because it's my birthday?

[A]

I guess it's venue, depending. Thanks. Venue.

[D]

That's. Yeah, it's the venue's fault. But it was a Sunday wedding and I. At the after party, because it was my birthday, people giving me drinks, buying me drinks. And I didn't. My relationship with alcohol was such that I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how much I didn't really drink in college. So I. I was like, yay, drinks. Drinking everything. Like it's water. That will catch up to you, Taryn. And I'm.

[A]

Don't eat the plain food. Never eat the plain food.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[A]

So you're so an empty or stomach.

[D]

Yes. But I was unwell.

[A]

Flagged.

[D]

Yes. It was rough.

[A]

Dehydrated. The elevation of the air dehydrates the body.

[D]

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I had my eye make on from the show at the wedding.

[A]

Yeah. Amazing.

[D]

I washed around my face.

[A]

Great. And I was like, why waste?

[D]

I'm too tired. And guess what? I. I did. I basically missed my friend walking down the aisle, but I made it. So what happened is my. My friends. My friends in New York were basically like, she's not going to make her flight. She drank too much, I think, and she's not going to make the flight. And I heard my friend calling another friend who was a flight attendant, not on my plane, but was. Was very caring, was like, I don't think she's going to be able to get on a flight. And I was like, y. I'm like,

[A]

I'm realizing I misheard the story. I thought the drinks were at the wedding, but the drinks are the after party for birthday.

[D]

And then. And then danger Taryn. And I said to the flight attendant, as I was boarding the captain, as

[A]

I said, he said, ma', am, please take your seat.

[D]

I thought this was my seat, Daddy. So I. I said to the flight attendant boarding, I was like, so go. It's my birthday and I'm still a little drunk from the night before. Or did I say I was like, I'm hungover. And then it was in the sky. I said, I think I'm drunk still.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But Anyway, but it was like, to be like, can I sit down immediately? I need to sit down. Which is why I was telling her yes. But then I barely. I missed my friend walking down the aisle. But anyway, I get to the thing, and they were like, you were on TV yesterday. That. That moment. I'm like, the planes, the planes.

[A]

The plane, boss. The planes.

[D]

But they also were like, do you want me to sing? Should we sing Happy Birthday to you? And I was like, at your wedding?

[A]

Of course. I picture you showing up, like, graduate style, like, in the glass window. Like,

[D]

There it is. There it is.

[A]

And maybe there's more, I don't know. But my work here is done.

[D]

Okay. You. I'll just. Again, we could end the podcast here. There's so many natural stop points that we're approaching. But it. I was like, no, you're not gonna sing Happy Birthday to me at your wedding.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

And. And then they're like, are you sure? And I was like, if you really want to. For you. But I don't need to be a part of the wedding in that fashion. I'm gonna get many birthdays. In theory, you get one wedding, right?

[A]

I pray you get Lin Manuel Miranda gave me drinks last night. I don't need your birthday song.

[D]

Birthday.

[A]

You're good friends.

[D]

I mean my birthday.

[A]

Your wedding birthday. Where's the cabin?

[D]

There was a cabin.

[A]

Where's my plus one?

[D]

It's. Where's my seat? I'm. See that the captain.

[A]

I'm not making my carry on fly back.

[D]

I truly imagine me getting kicked off the plane.

[A]

Second, as you're saying that, like, the second you told a story where you engaged with the stewardess. We live in a time where I was like, could have been a. Could have been an aisle video from two seats back. Easily could have been a video.

[D]

And upon boarding, how. I don't know. I know what my intent was to just be like, I need to sit down. I know this is not my time to get on the plane, but you have no idea what it took to get here.

[A]

Yes, I'm here.

[D]

My friends trying to rebook my flight. Anyway. You did this a lot.

[A]

I did it a lot.

[D]

Did. Okay. Did. This is a dumb question. And you can say as much.

[A]

How do we open door? That is kind of dumb question. It depends on the handle.

[D]

Yeah. So I took that whole lead in to ask that dumb, dumb girl. You dumb, dumb girl. But I mean it in an endearing way.

[A]

Yeah. It is a lyric. It's a lyric. Dumb, dumb girl. She's a dumb Dumb girl.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Feels like a Lily Allen song or something.

[D]

I know. We should really work on this.

[A]

We should work. Let's collab.

[D]

They put a strain on your relationship, surely. Right? Had to have 100%.

[A]

Oh, absolutely. And like, define strain because it's like just stamina, strain, Emotional brain. Because there's that thing of. It's a very. I think you appreciate with. With that job. It's a very different, like, state of existence mentally. Yeah. And to come back and suddenly want to make up for lost time and be present was certainly a challenge for me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, if I'm being completely honest, and I will for you, please do it. Wanting to be celebrated a little bit. I was like, I just accomplished a thing. And feeling like where people who were childless and single got to kind of at least celebrate themselves or go on vacation or did, like it back to real world responsibilities.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So that was my side of it. Kobe's working full time here with a one year old child and. And we're, you know, privileged enough to have help and my family's all here and. And chipped in, which was a blessing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But she's also like, yeah, this is not time for you to take victory lap. This is for us. Time for us to come together. So it would be, it'd be like, I'd say a full day of. Of you're just. It's momentum and you, you do miss each other. So it's fine. That first day's like, hi.

[D]

Yeah, how are you? Oh, I missed you.

[A]

Great.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you wake up the next morning, it's like, are you gonna make the breakfast or. Cause I just. Cause I'm on New York Times and you. Oh, you worked the whole time. You made all the breakfasts the last two or three weeks.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's like a very small example, but it's a lot of that. And pretty early on we knew, like, we should. We should have a third party, help us talk through this and just. And really, like, like, what was so great about it was there was no solution. There was no, like, fit, like, do this and it won't happen. Like. Nope. That all makes sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But here's. Here are like some language skills to talk about it with each other without making it a bigger thing, without activating a bigger fight, a bigger resentment.

[D]

That's so smart though, to have that third party come in because what unique circumstances. Because I think anybody like, working, working at snl. Yeah. You're saying, like, you're saying is you're in such A different brain state. And it's such a different unique schedule and the challenges and the, the, the victories. All of it all at once and processing that all the time. And you're just, you, you get so accustomed to it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Being in it. You kind of start to not know any different. But then you see people who don't work there. You're like, okay, you're on a different plane planet than I. Yeah.

[A]

And so barbecue at 11:30 on a Sunday.

[D]

Are you. What are you talking about?

[A]

That's insane. That's. Are you making fun of me right now?

[D]

I'm offended by you. And so the notion that, that you had that and a one year old and your, your, your family was here in Los Angeles, I'm like, I can only imagine. But don't you feel like having gone through that with Kobe and I don't want to put words in your mouth. I can just only imagine having gone through that, you feel. And gotten through it successfully. Feel like you guys can like do anything as a team. Because that's what I'm immediately like. That's the chat. That's a gigantic challenge.

[A]

Without a doubt.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

We did a lot of things kind of in a river. We met when we were really young. We met the week before our 23rd birthdays. We're born two days apart, same year.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[A]

It's so cute.

[D]

Oh, that's cute.

[A]

And like she had significant deaths in the family within the first year. And then she had some really major health stuff that she's talked about publicly. And like, we went through that together and weren't sure if we were going to be able to have kids. And then our first kid was like sort of this miraculous surprise and like great ways, but also very stressful ways. And like, so we did and, and, and were very, very lucky and fortunate in career early on, you know. So like we did so much of life backwards.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're really looking forward to like our 50s.

[D]

Yeah. I love that.

[A]

Like, it's just like river cruises. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like seeing the world and so. Yeah. Yeah. To your point, that's exactly right. Like, we've done these hurdles that we, we've been through. We're pretty like locked in.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It feels nice. There's a nice security.

[D]

How does it. Yeah. How to secure comes to mind immediately. But how does it feel to have met your person at 23?

[A]

It's surreal sometimes. Like, it is. It's like, especially I'm. I'm 43, so we've been together a little over 20 years now and, and we talk about that a lot. What were we watching? We were watching a show. Oh, so dumb. We're watching Wonder man, which is great.

[D]

Okay, great.

[A]

Have you seen it now? Okay. But the minor spoiler, he reconnects with an ex later in the series. And like, kind of the intention of the scene is like, he's still incapable of like hearing her. He's all, he's so self focused. But the idea of checking back in with an ex is like, Kobe and I have like one each and like, do not talk to them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was like childhood exes, really, you know. Yeah. And that's a really weird element of it. Yes.

[D]

You're like, don't know this life.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And I remember, I remember this is a funny like SNL story, but I remember Ben Stiller was hosting and he's like getting to know. He's like, are you, are you, you in a relationship or whatever and shared my story and. And I was like, yeah, it's interesting to be around this. I can't, I, I can't help but like, like, you know, sort of not fantasize, but do the hypothetical of like, imagine if you were single and this thing's happening and like, like how exciting but also how challenging and how like all the pitfalls of it, but all the like, advantage of it as perceived through someone not fully experiencing that way.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And it was very helpful advice. Ben was like, you're not missing anything.

[D]

I think he's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I can tell you from having dated.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

In my 20s.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's a jungle out there. So it's really huge to have met your person regardless of the circumstance that, you know, the SNL of it, which is this incredibly unique thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That makes it a different. Your. Whatever age. A different experience than what might be the typical experience at that age. Point is it's a jungle out there. And I think it's so cool that you guys found each other when you did.

[A]

We've. I, I think she says she's on the same page, but we feel very lucky. We feel very, very fortunate because we were also like, like generationally right on the cusp of the online of the app. Like we like. I think I actually filled out like a match.com like profile at like 21, 22 years old.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But missed that whole.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Lucky universe.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is wild. Like getting to play on friends like Raya accounts and the swipe of it all and the thing like.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There's something so addict. Like someone who likes games. Like, so addictive.

[D]

Yes. Dating is so gamified now that it's not, though the initial. In my opinion, the initial thing that dating apps were created for, which was like, to connect people, to get people in relationship with people they might not otherwise meet in the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Has now just become this. It's a game. It's a game. It's like Temple Run on your phone.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah, it's Candy Crush.

[A]

How far can I get?

[B]

No.

[D]

Yeah, no coins.

[A]

Can I collect.

[D]

Right. I have some. I have a friend who just got on a dating app and she's like, no one's talking on. And I go, yeah, girl, Girl. That's what it's like.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's just the swiping. It's looking at new faces. It's going. Good to know you exist. Yeah, I'll say yes. You say yes to me. Good to know that we both think each other is attractive.

[A]

Yeah. That's a nice thing.

[D]

And that's enough there. And I will not contact you. You will not contact me.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

And we're on to the next face.

[A]

Are you still friends and family? Is the preference of. Of meeting prospective partners?

[D]

Yeah. Well, I'm in a relationship.

[A]

You are.

[D]

Glory be. Glory be to God.

[A]

God is good.

[D]

God is good.

[A]

When I came, I went all the time. And God is good. All of.

[D]

Yeah, I came, I went, I saw, I conquered, etcetera, and gone so forth. Yes. So I feel very happy to be out of the game.

[A]

Right.

[D]

But it is. It's shocking what's. What's going on. But I do. I am a proponent of friends and family in real life, and.

[A]

And that I. I think what I like was leaning into is you saying the dating in your 20s, and I have to believe you're not that far outside of them. Thank you. But, but, yeah, but how. How. How successful was your app experience? Like, was there success? Was there, like, personal, deep profit, like, real success for you through that, or was it always like, this is a fun side thing and I'll experience it because that's what's happening in the world. But the real. The real hunt is friends, family, personal.

[D]

So I think there was success in that. It was like, I did meet people who were attractive. I went on dates with people who were interesting, some of whom I liked. I know I have friends who are like. Like married to people they met on dating apps, and they're wonderful in wonderful, beautiful relationships. For me, the preference. And I think, to be honest, too, I think For a lot of people I know. So it's not this unique thing about me where I'm like, I. The preference for me is family and friends and meeting in real life. I'm like, I think most people that I know at least are like, oh, I'd love to meet someone in real life. And I think dating apps can be so useful. Yet I think there was. There was like a sweet spot in their creation, I think, where it was still like, hey, the thing we created this for is our primary purpose and our goal. And we don't feel like an effective app if people aren't meeting and dating. I think that my sense is that the creators of the apps felt that at one point and now have transitioned to a, like, whatever the game, swipe on these faces.

[A]

Well, there's like subsets now, right, where like, you have your app brand. Like, we are the relationship brand or we are the hookup brand.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Like, yeah, the optimist in me. Like, again, romanticizes is maybe the right word. Like, oh, interesting to be able to skip ahead a few steps.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That is a very alluring element of app dating to me. Of like, I know they like, haha, you clowns. Like, that would be a detail that I put in right now to go like, okay, we're the right kind of person for each other, right?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I. I definitely see the value in that. There is you. It takes out some of the guessing that I feel like people who like, don't want get rejected. The thing is, you can still get rejected on the app, which I feel like could somehow feel worse maybe, but I'm not. What were the steps for you and your wife, though, getting to know each other?

[A]

It was like.

[D]

Did you ask her out?

[A]

Yeah. It was really sweet. It was really. It was through a friend and it like. It was like showbiz friends where I'd shot a pilot with a Canadian actor who kind of indirectly, like, didn't introduce us, thinking we would be a thing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we, like, reconnected at a party a month later and really hit it off. And it was pretty fast. It was really. It was really fast. Like, I got her number that night. I called the next morning at 11.

[D]

No games. We love it.

[A]

I had like, I just.

[D]

You're not a game.

[A]

Not cool in that way.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Not. I don't have that kind of.

[D]

Okay. I think that's good. It served you well.

[A]

I have like a. Like a. Too eager. Like, my sort of fanboyness bleeds very directly into my relationship, which is Like, I like you. Can I collect all of you?

[D]

Yeah. Can I be in your skin?

[A]

And so I called. I had to leave a voicemail. Voicemails on answering machines were this thing where you had a separate device.

[D]

Yeah. Do explain to some of the listeners.

[A]

I did have an answering machine in my. In my shared apartment with Mikey Day

[D]

Prince, who has done the podcast as well.

[A]

Okay. Amazing. Great company. Well, it's funny being here. Were you an iOS person? Do you ever perform?

[D]

I was a UCB.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Maybe had been to.

[A]

Okay, yeah. But. But iOS right down the block here. And Mikey wrote like a comedy play called After School Special that we did once a week for like three months at iOS right here. So the parking on. On this street is very, very, very nostalgic.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But yeah, called her. She called me back. I. Of course, it was like, you know, an hour later and I missed it.

[D]

Can I hear what the. What the. Do you remember the voicemail?

[A]

I do. And it's important, please.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Because it was a dumb joke and so that you, like, beep. And then you'd hear the person's reaction to it before they left the message. And there's two other great significant ones. And I'll tell you what the message was. First it was, hi, you've reached Spider Man. I mean, Taran Killam. Average old Taran Killam.

[D]

Beep.

[A]

And the two messages, like, there's a really nice one. When I got hired on snl, Bill Hader called and left. And he's like, that's funny. Hey, Taryn. Actually, it could be a good sketch. It's Bill Hader, excited to work with you. And like, that meant the world. Yeah, the best one, that. I kept the tape for a long time. But then I think just moving in time, I had booked a massage at Burke Williams Spa.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And they called to confirm the appointment.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

And I checked my message to beep. Weirdo. Hi, this is Carol with Burke Williams Spa calling to confirm your massage for 2pm tomorrow afternoon.

[D]

Weirdo.

[A]

It was. She was not wrong. Carol was not wrong.

[D]

And Brooke Williams is bougie.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

They were like, what, the judgy?

[A]

Yeah. And Kobe's message was, hey, Taryn, it's Kobe calling you back. And I was like, oh, just from that little laugh, that little chuckle. I'm in. Called her back again. Okay, but you.

[D]

Voice message.

[A]

I left her one first. She called again. I missed her call. She left. Left a response. Called her right back. She picked up, talked on the phone for an hour, said it came up in Conversation. The next day was sun. It was Easter Sunday. And I said, I'm responsible for bringing in dessert. And she's like, that's crazy. I'm going to a thing and I have to bring a dessert. What are you going to bring? And I said, I was going to make brownies. Do you want to do that together?

[D]

Wow.

[A]

So I went over to her apartment. She wanted to do the box.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I said, no, no, no, no. We're going from scratch.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Really? Moment where she's like, do you dare me to try the unsweetened chocolate? I'm like, do it. And like, it was terrible. And we laughed and no funny business.

[D]

Good.

[A]

Part of my game at this point, young man, Taryn's game. This was my game. Very strategic. Was to bring some sort of comedic media that was important to me that I had seen a million times and kind of gauge the sense of humor.

[D]

Oh, I like to do that. Yes.

[A]

Brought over Borat seasons one and two on dvd. She had never seen them. Or I guess it's Dolly G show.

[D]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

Seasons one and two. We watch them. She's laughing. It's gonna go. It's. This shall proceed.

[D]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

She goes to the restroom. She has to do. She has to do the. The table read for the pilot of How I met your mother the next. Or. No, no, no, it's Easter. She's like, gotta get up for Easter. And then that Monday, she's doing the. The table read pilot. It's like, hey, good luck. Look.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

She goes to the bathroom. She comes out, and I'm like, horny young man. Like, well, I mean, it's getting late. I should. I should probably head out. She goes, yeah, you probably should. It's like, cool, cool, cool. Eject dvd. Careful, no scratches. Place into cover, slide into sleeve. And. But we'd made a. A plan for our first date that Monday night after the table read.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And we went. Went. I took her to a place called 4 and 20, which had really good tortilla soup.

[D]

They don't exist anymore.

[A]

I don't think they do. They were on. There was one on Laurel Canyon. There was one in Sepulveda, but I think it might be gone.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

And then we went to the Sherman Oaks mini golf course. And. Yeah. Went mini golfing.

[D]

Oh, cute.

[A]

It was really cute. It was really cute.

[D]

Wow. And the rest is history.

[A]

Rest is history. Although I. I broke up with her a year into our relationship.

[D]

The rest was not history.

[A]

I broke up with her for 48 hours.

[D]

Hours. Why tell me Panic. So this is. You are now 24 years old.

[A]

This is correct.

[D]

You and you panic, you break up with her. I need to know why you guys do this.

[A]

Yeah, I'm house sitting for my manager at the time. She comes over. We get into one, we get into like, like we're not big fighters, we're like frustrated arguers, but we're not, we don't. There's no blow ups. But it was just another, like we weren't on the same page. And I said, you know what? And I, and what's dwelling in the back of my mind is like, okay, well this feels like it's going to be it. And like 24 and this is going to be it. I'm not ready to be done. I shouldn't. I should not be ready. Society tells me yes. Society told you to sew?

[D]

Yes, surely, yes.

[A]

And I say, I just, I'm not happy. I don't think this is working. And I break her heart. And she cry. And I can still see her face. And it makes.

[D]

Oh, I have chills. I've. I hate this.

[A]

It makes me so sad to like, I can see her face, but. But I do it and I rip off the band aid and I've got like another, you know, 36 hours house sitting in this house. It's not mine. I'm alone. My friend comes over. We. I see Annie hall for the first time. I'm sobbing at it. I return to my crappy apartment. Kobe has removed every trace of her from my apartment and cleaned like folded bed, scrubbed shower, smells of like bleach, you know, like, like, and wrote me this email that was like, here's why I thought we worked. Here's where I thought we were. It makes me so sad to know that we weren't on the same page. And I just, I need space from you because I don't think this is a thing where I can be friends. And I, I start, I cry, I grab my keys, I drive over to her house. It was literally like less than 48 hours. And I go in and I'm a wreck. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I was like, I was as truthful as I could be at that time because the, the real real was like, I don't want to be done having sex with other people, I think was the base truth.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I couldn't say that. It was just like, I'm scared because I thought that it feels like this could be it. And I, I don't Know if I'm ready for it to be it. You know, not. Not saying the thing I have since. And, like, obviously I'm willing to. On a very public podcast, but kind of the promise that I made to her, which has been the essence of our relationship since is that. What I do know is that as.

[D]

As.

[A]

As an immature man, I've been in this relationship trying to protect myself. How will it end? Who will break it? And how do I save myself from feeling hurt when it does? So that's part of this. And even in these two days of not being with you, the idea of not being with you makes me so much more unhappy than the risk, than the fact that my worry is we might be happy the rest of our lives.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So if you. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I. I will dedicate to you right now. I'll be in this relationship that it's. It. It will work, and I will do everything in my power to make it work until, should a time come that's out of our control, where it doesn't feel right, but that's how I will engage in this relationship. And that helped, but it still took time. She still was like horse. We'll see. We'll see.

[D]

Yeah. Because what a blindside.

[A]

So shitty. What a shitty. What a 24, panicky, immature, emotional, like, irrational and irresponsible response to this person who's so wonderful.

[D]

Yeah. Wow. If you get broken up with, you better clean.

[A]

Clean the apartment.

[D]

Clean the apartment.

[A]

Or you should hit the road and head to Kansas City.

[D]

Oh, another time. Another time. No, you. Honestly, I appreciate how evolved, though, even having done that. And you. You being the perpetrator.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Of the crime.

[A]

Oh, God. Of full mess.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Full mess up.

[D]

48 hours later, though you are. You were like, wait, I have to. I know what's actually going on with me. I'm gonna say that like the. The massage version of this. I'm gonna say the massage version of this to this person.

[A]

Yes, I see what you're saying. Oh, I didn't say that.

[D]

Like, I want to have sex with other people.

[A]

Yes. Yes, that.

[D]

Which is good. I think that you didn't, especially at that time. Time. Correct. So where did you. That kind of, like, emotional intelligence, I think you demonstrated in that moment 48 hours after breaking her heart.

[A]

That's very nice.

[D]

Where do you think that that came from? Were you in therapy on your own at the point?

[A]

No, no, no. SNL drove me to individual therapy. Couples and individual therapy. No, I mean, my parent what my parents did very well. Like, what they did the best, I would say, is like. Like, is being vulnerable. Like, I had a dad who said, a real man can say I love you to another man. And a real man can cry and show their feeling, talk about their feelings. And I think that that was him sort of like breaking the cycle of his. His family and his upbringing. And my mom very, you know, both giving unconditional love. I witnessed a lot of sacrifice from both of them to care for five kids. So that. It's a strong foundation. It's a strong foundation. And. And I needed that because I think, like, I think. I think the nurture really outweighed a lot of nature. Just like being a dumb, dumb boy. Just a dumb, dumb boy.

[D]

You can give yourself grace because it worked out. And I think you were able to turn it around 48 hours later. Have you seen this story? Just. And I never do this, but I'm so fascinated by the Olympian who. I don't know what sport it was. Biathlon. He's a bath. He did the biathlon. He's a biathlete.

[A]

Okay. In the current. The current Winter Olympics, okay.

[D]

He won. I think he represents nor. He's representing Norway. And when they went to speak to him post game, he was like, yeah, this is a big moment. But honestly, six months ago I met the love of my life. But he's like, the big. He's like, the bigger moment is that six months ago I met the love of my life. Life. And three months ago I had decided to cheat on her. So if she could find it in her.

[A]

Oh, have you guys not.

[D]

Yes, you can make noise, guys.

[A]

It's okay.

[D]

Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, no.

[D]

I.

[A]

What's the take? I'm so shell shocked by it, but I'm like, get out. Here's my issue with it. Just hearing it for the first time. That's not a public issue, right? That's a private issue. And man up privately and handle that. That. But by doing it publicly in this, you're trying to dilute the crime a bit.

[D]

Something about it felt not quite right. And since. Yeah, it feels. And even if it is sincere, it's like, this is not the choice in my. I'm kind of like, no, no, don't do this. Don't do it this way. I think, who knows what people. She told you cheated on her, and now, like, she's been being humiliated again.

[A]

And so he's phrasing it in a way that he had come clean already. This. He was not breaking it to her post game?

[D]

I don't think so. I was just reading articles too, so I didn't hear him actually do it, but it was like, I don't think. But regardless, I'm like, private issue.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And it feels like putting her in a corner of like, the pressure's on. You got to take me back. The whole world. The whole world is hearing me.

[A]

That's not okay.

[D]

No, that's, that's.

[A]

That's. It feels like a mild. Even if on the surface, well intentioned abuse of power.

[D]

Yeah. Yes. I think that's a great way to put it. Even if well intentioned mentioned an abuse of power. Because I'm like, she doesn't get to be at a mic at the Olympics.

[A]

100 now she's got to train for three years.

[D]

Who knows, she might be baby sports like me.

[A]

Like, well, curling I guess. Sort of like easiest option for me. Time to start scrubbing ice. Two years of scrubbing ice so that maybe I can go back and say so proud and no, no, not taking you back.

[D]

Not happening. So listen, I think you're handling a bit. I wasn't there there, but you and Kobe are together. You have two beautiful girls. I think that's fantastic.

[A]

Yeah, it's nice.

[D]

Are you friends with your daughters, would you say?

[A]

Yeah, I think so. I think the younger one would be more forthcoming with that. I think. I think my older one would be like, yeah, and. And wouldn't necessarily, but she's, you know, 16 and a half. And this is not a time to ha. It's a very n. It's. It's a trip to like be. Have a child of an age where, like I said, of very clear memories of 16 and a half.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you know, days I can remember specific, specific days. And like. Yeah. The idea of hanging with your. Your folks is not something I would have sought out. But I think they like being around us. I. I think that that's the healthy amount. Right. Like sometimes I will say like, God, I just want them to when they go out in the world, love me and come back and be like, they're my best friend. When they talk about and Kobe wisely is like, that's not healthy. Like not to. Not to detract and no judgment on people who do feel that relationship like they're my best friend. But that's not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal, really speaking to the responsibility of being a parent is they're happy with themselves, they're fulfilled by themselves and they're seeking out what brings them Joy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And it not having you as the best friend, as the number one friend if they're healthy and well rounded and fulfilled and then you did your job and you got to. You got to.

[D]

I think that's good. That's fair. Did you. Did you know you always wanted to be a parent or did you always know?

[A]

I was very romantic about it.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And as I sort of hinted at earlier, our first was like kind of a bit of a surprise. And I was like, okay, here we go. And Kobe was very pragmatic about it and obviously her body and like she's like, oh man. Okay. And really stressed and what is this going to mean? And what do we need to set up? How do we need to prepare? And I'm like, we'll have kids. And the second we found out the Jennifer gender, it switched. Really switched where there's something about it being female that Kobe like breathed a sigh of relief and I suddenly was like, this is not how I envisioned things occurring. And this is, this is different. This. I'm in a different reality now. And what does this mean? And what do I have to. How am I? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Why do you think you reacted that way?

[A]

I think probably like ego narcissism, you know, extension of me. Like me make son. Yes, son. Like Batman. Like dad like Batman. And go to rams and hug and be like you're my best friend but I'm fulfilled away from you. And that how son be into. Yeah. Just the shattering of that fantasy. That all self, you know, self protecting, building up fantasy and like there and then just like the frickin science of the biology of it. And I'm going to get quite candid but like holding your baby daughter. And even though it was like, you know, we were. I think we were 27 when she was born. So still earlier in life. But this is the first vagina I am seeing in my life that is not an object of sexual pursuit.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was a thing. It was like this is this. I have to clean and care for this now. And weird. And now will understand it better than I ever than maybe I thought I did and clearly did not.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's, you know, one of a thousand different variations of just the gender separation of it. You know, like, like and then. And then realizing like how much how little gender does dictate. And like you can try, you know, there's. We did science kits and skateboards and whatever you want and there's princessy all through and through both of them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But then moved away from that in their own ways, in like very different ways and they get along together but like are their very own distinct personalities and it's, it's, yeah, it's the best thing I, I will ever do.

[D]

Yeah. I, I don't think you're alone in that experience either. I think it's a shared experience and I, I, I, I, it just having a child, the notion altogether and the way I think transforms you having zero my myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I just have now been so fascinated by it. By the notion and how it impacts a man versus a woman and, and your expectation about what parenthood will be versus what it then actually is is the ways it matures you, the way it makes you see your crap.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Fascinated by the whole endeavor.

[A]

It is all of this. Yeah. It changed so much of my relationship to many to the idea of parenting like always kind of being, you know, Norman Rockwellian about like yes, I shall and we shall which was so impractical and just immature really. I think in this sort of softest, most grace filled version of it.

[D]

It.

[A]

But the way it changed my identity to adoption was instantaneous. I was like, I was always kind of like I don't know if I could like right away I was like, oh no, this kid doesn't know me and I don't know this. I have to get to know this kid.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And, and really, yes. Maybe. Oh, I see that we have our eyes thing, but you are your own thing. And it's the time that I'm going to invest in you and it's that that we'll build this relationship. So that changed people who said kids are not for me. I was always like, okay, that's fine.

[D]

That's okay. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah.

[A]

Into like thank you for being so responsible for knowing yourself so well. For being fair to the world. For being fair to this hypothetical not to exist child.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's hard. It is so hard. It's so to do it in a way that I think it deserves and this is just my own take on it. It's really hard. It's really demanding. Demanding and a lot of sacrifice.

[D]

I can only imagine.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I can only imagine. And I, I so get Kobe's reaction to having a kid to as a woman. You're like, what? My body, my career? What? What are you talking about?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay, Taryn, it's time for a segment called that's Nice but what about Me? And I suppose I want to ask. I'm trying to think it will be really great for you. There's a few things, like, swirling in

[A]

my head, but we can. We only get one.

[D]

We only get one. Because I don't want to be greedy. I don't want to be greedy because

[A]

you though you can't.

[D]

But the episode was about you. And so. Okay. Raising children in Los Angeles. You're from Los Angeles. Your kids are from Los Angeles.

[A]

Correct.

[D]

How do you keep them not Hollywood. I mean, lay is so much more than Hollywood, but how do you. How do you keep them grounded?

[A]

How did you set ground that comes down to values, morality and values. And yeah, Kobe deserves again, so much credit for that. She's Canadian, so that's good balance. We were LA an LA family, but not. Not really. We were like adjacent to showbiz families quite a bit. But just the value system of find, of status, of celebrity, of rec. Of of notoriety have always. It's something that Kobe and I bonded over was like, we love art, we love performing, we love telling story, we love playing characters, we love movies and tv. We love it and we love to do it. And doing it at every level brings us joy. Doing it for recognition really is not of interest to us. And we. And we do our best to be grateful for what success has come in professionally. And knowing that the notoriety, the famous of it does go hand in hand a bit in that you don't want to be like, hey, I love your work.

[D]

Get.

[A]

I'm just leave me alone. You know, like, that's unhealthy and self defeating a little bit.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But so I think that that has been instilled in our kids. Getting them out of town, getting them back to kind of getting them into nature. Nature is so important.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know that I can say with full confidence there's not some sort of Hollywood showbiz jadedness, cynicism, aloofness, take it for granted, but certainly not by their own doing. And any sort of like, spoiled behavior we would immediately do our best to crack down on.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, I think they just can't help but be partially a byproduct of their, like, liberal showbiz bubble city upbringing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But. But they have to work for things. They have to earn their, you know, earn the chore money that's real. Like keep. Keep the chore money that. That they could, you know, so it's that. And. And I think that's my answer to that. Okay, I'm gonna be honest. Like, your question has me going, like, I need to really check in with them and see like, what do you what, like keeping him off devices a lot as part of that.

[D]

No way.

[A]

Our oldest didn't get her first phone until she was 14. She was really one of the last two years ago.

[D]

Two and a half years ago. Wow. Okay.

[A]

Making up for lost time.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

But still there, we like put parameters on that and. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But, but I think the, I think the values of it is, is key.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Like, we want you to be kind. We want you to be kind. We want you to be not self centered all the time. We. I think it's human nature to be a little self focused because you're born into yourself walking around the world as. Exactly. But I think knowing like Kobe does works at a soup kitchen every Tuesday and she's taken Shay to work with her there and little, little bits like that without, without being too preachy about it. But yeah, just, just understanding it. We're lucky to be alive. We're lucky to share this world and try to make it a little bit better.

[D]

Yeah, that's good. I, what's top of mind is I know some people who are having kids or have kids who lived in LA or do live and are like, I need to get out of here to raise the, the kids. So I just, it's an interesting thing.

[A]

I understand it. I understand it again, like Kobe and I have never, never prioritized our career over them. Like that will never, they will always be the number one priority and, and our alignment in that has what has made us good co parents.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But I also understand like, yeah, get the hell out of it. Because I, like, I'll ask my girls, we're not a religious family, but like, do you have any interest in like going to a church to see what that's about? Because I'm, I do anticipate some significant culture shock for both my children. College, travel, whatever it is. Like, I, I, I could see that coming.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

In ways that they didn't even conceive. They're like, oh, I am a city person.

[D]

Right. It's true. I mean it's such a, it's such a diverse city and melting pot. But then there are these pockets of existence here that, that do feel so insulated. And that's the, yeah, the irony of it too. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But, but in, in whatever little travel we get to do, you, I mean, Kobe and I are always saying to each other, there's so many people in the world. There's so many different ways to live and experience this Existence.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I hope for our children to like go and really kind of expose themselves to that as much as possible.

[D]

Yeah, I'm excited for them. You nudge them go somewhere else.

[A]

We're gonna be, we're gonna be cruising. Go to Canada. You guys are gonna be figured it out year old. Exactly. We're going to be cruising on a river.

[D]

Cruising on the river. I can see this for you. I'm manifesting for you as well.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Okay. We have to help a listener.

[A]

Great.

[D]

To. To close out. It's not just about me. It's not just about you. It's about the listeners. We. We'll listen to a voicemail.

[A]

Okay, great.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey Ego, it's Zach. Thank you so much De and Josh for answering my question. You know, I think you're right. I think it is all just about, you know, putting in a little self care now and then. Which does lead me to a follow up question which is what are a two parter, those little acts of self care?

[D]

Honey, I'm not a therapist

[A]

to, you know, help get you through those chores. You know what, what are the little treats you get for yourself or do for yourself to help, you know, not fill the void, but at least get you to that next moment. Thank you so much. Bye.

[D]

I'll let you answer.

[A]

Sleep and water.

[D]

Asleep and water.

[A]

Sleep in water.

[D]

Sleep water. Truly reading.

[A]

What are you reading?

[D]

I'm currently reading the the Body Keeps the Score actually.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Just finished reading you are Here by David Nichols. It's a fiction book. It's a romance novel. But it's like really beautifully written and I don't ever read fiction, but it, my, my boyfriend gave it to me and I'm like lovely. Good read. Yeah. I, I have to say. Yeah, that's. And I eat. I love to eat.

[A]

I love good, I love a good meal. A few things bring me more joy

[D]

than a good meal. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[A]

That's it. And yeah. Order a pizza.

[D]

Yeah. I'm like, what feels good to you? Because someone else might tell me. I have friends that like love the sauna and they like compression therapy and I'm like that sure, that's cool.

[A]

Yeah. There's these like Noro tech boots you can get.

[D]

I don't own them but you can

[A]

go to like a self care spot and you sit there and it, and it squeezes and it helps for circulation. Squeeze the out of your legs. You can do hips too. Is it a massage? Is it, is it a vacation? Doesn't have to be an expensive vacation. But is it a. Or a walk through nature? I like water.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I love to. I love to like float. I love like to float in an ocean under the surface or like that is very peaceful to me.

[D]

Same. It's very calming. Water. Are you a water sign?

[A]

I'm not fire sign.

[D]

Okay. So it makes no sense.

[A]

Yeah. What the heck? What? What the heck? Phony. You're poser. I'm a freaking poser. You're freaking fire sign. Talking about you like fire and water. You're like a magma sign.

[D]

Yeah, that's just.

[A]

That's just magma.

[D]

Rock don't go together. Yeah. You're mag.

[A]

Steam. You're full of hot air is what you are.

[D]

Okay. Hopefully that's. I love how you were answering that question, though. With a question. Because I think the question begs a question. Question. But Josh. Josh. No, Josh was answered last time with me.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

We're just days ago, frankly.

[A]

Oh, great. Okay. We're back now. You're back.

[D]

I'm not a therapist.

[A]

Never left.

[D]

Well, Josh was the guest.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That they were referring to. Helped.

[A]

But who is Zach? So is that Zach?

[D]

That's Zach.

[A]

That was Zach.

[D]

Yes, exactly. Which by the way, I didn't say it when we recorded, but to me. And I've. I tweeted this when I had Twitter. The tweet did numbers and I really stand by this. To me, all Josh's could be Zach's and Zach's could be Josh's. And that's it. Thank you so much, Taryn Killen, for your job. I believe it. Think about it. You're the best Josh's and Zach's could be. Anyway, I think it's the same name.

[A]

Yeah, that. That tracks. So find. So Zach find a Josh and ask how they self care.

[D]

I think it's the same name. Okay. All right. You are the best. Thank you for doing this.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Thank you. Yay. That was my conversation with the lovely Taran Killam. You know him. You love him. I love him. You know him. I know him. You love him. We all love him. It was fun. I'm so glad. If you want advice from me and my next guest, you simply have to call us. The number is 5028-4932-3750-2849, 322-77502. Thanks. THX dads. Call us. We will do our best to help you. We are not licensed professionals. We mostly don't know what we're talking about. But you can ask for advice. It'll be fun. There's a limit to the advice we can give. At some point you have to take the reins on your own life. And I believe in you. I love you. I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Thanks, dad Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart Podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca.

[C]

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[A]

Janice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We host the podcast Mind the Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.

[C]

We're back for season four to talk to some incredible small business owners.

[A]

The big thing about working at tech is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie. That's how fast the industry is changing. So what I'm really excited about is to be part of that change. So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast

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