Tim Meadows

Summary

Podcast Summary: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim – Episode Featuring Tim Meadows

Release Date: November 11, 2024

In this heartfelt and humorous episode of "Thanks Dad", hosted by Ego Nwodim, Ego welcomes Tim Meadows—a seasoned comedian and familiar face from Saturday Night Live—to be her "Dad for the Day." Through an engaging conversation, Ego and Tim delve into Tim's personal experiences with his father, his journey through fatherhood, and the invaluable life lessons he's imparted to his own children.

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1. Introduction and Reconnection

Ego opens the episode by sharing her own background, highlighting her upbringing by a single mother and the absence of a relationship with her late father. She sets the stage for the podcast's premise—inviting father figures to share their insights and experiences.

Notable Quote:

Ego [00:02]: "I moved to New York because I didn't want to have to change oil ever again, and partially because I ended up on Saturday Night Live."

Tim joins Ego, reminiscing about their previous collaboration at the San Francisco Sketch Fest in 2019, establishing a warm and familiar rapport.

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2. Navigating COVID-19 and Personal Growth

The conversation shifts to Tim's experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic, a period that proved transformative for many.

Notable Quotes:

Tim [02:18]: "Covid was... I grew a lot from COVID actually. During COVID I started doing yoga and meditating."

Ego [04:28]: "I found it to be incredibly helpful myself through the pandemic."

Tim discusses how the isolation led him to adopt daily yoga and meditation practices, aimed at managing anxiety and fostering spiritual growth. This period also strengthened his bond with his sons, whom he spent more time with in Chicago.

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3. Reconnecting with His Father and Discovering a Second Family

Tim provides a candid account of his relationship with his father, marked by separation during his childhood and a later reconnection orchestrated by his sister, Wanda.

Notable Quotes:

Tim [07:04]: "My relationship with him wasn't father, son. It was more friend-friendly."

Ego [07:10]: "My real dad hasn't been present either."

Tim narrates the unconventional reunion facilitated by Wanda, where he humorously recalls being pushed through a milk chute to meet his father. Despite reestablishing a relationship, Tim reveals the complexities of discovering his father had another family, leading to feelings of abandonment and a reevaluation of his father's role in his life.

Notable Quote:

Tim [14:31]: "We discovered it when I was about 16, 17, was that he had another family before my family."

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4. Influential Male Role Models Beyond His Father

Acknowledging the gaps left by his father's shortcomings, Tim highlights other pivotal male figures who shaped his understanding of manhood and responsibility.

Notable Quotes:

Tim [27:32]: "My older brother, Lathan... He was an Air Force career guy."

Tim [30:44]: "My best friend, Byron Smith, his family basically took me in and adopted me as their seventh kid."

Tim speaks fondly of his brother Lathan, an Air Force veteran whose discipline and respect earned admiration, and his uncle Warren, a pastor who provided unwavering support. Additionally, Tim credits his friend Byron Smith and his father Robert Smith Jr. as exemplary figures who demonstrated integrity, hard work, and resilience.

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5. Tim's Approach to Fatherhood

Drawing from his own experiences, Tim shares his philosophy on parenting, emphasizing open communication, setting boundaries, and leading by example.

Notable Quotes:

Tim [34:16]: "I made sure that I didn't want to have the same relationship that I went through."

Tim [36:22]: "I think you have to have a friendship relationship with your kids."

Tim describes striving to be both a supportive father and a friend to his sons, encouraging them to trust their family and work hard. He stresses the importance of being present, allowing his children to feel comfortable discussing anything, and balancing authority with approachability.

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6. Balancing Career and Family Life

The discussion transitions to Tim's decision to relocate to Detroit, aiming to stay closer to his roots and family while managing his career.

Notable Quotes:

Tim [38:12]: "I moved to Detroit... I wanted to be near my family."

Ego [39:29]: "You needed to be in a hostel type situation."

Tim explains his move as a strategic choice to prioritize family connections and provide a stable environment for his children, who are pursuing higher education in Chicago, D.C., and New York. This relocation underscores his commitment to being an active and involved father despite the demands of a public career.

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7. Advice for Sustaining Longevity in Show Business

As the episode nears its conclusion, Tim offers practical advice to Ego—drawing from his extensive experience on SNL—on maintaining creativity and relevance in a competitive entertainment landscape.

Notable Quotes:

Tim [58:25]: "I would make a list of my recurring characters."

Tim [58:32]: "Just put your nose to the grindstone and work."

Tim suggests managing recurring characters by spacing them out and collaborating closely with writers to innovate and stay fresh. He emphasizes the importance of resilience and focusing on consistent effort rather than getting bogged down by the fleeting successes or failures of individual projects.

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8. Final Reflections and Closing Thoughts

Ego and Tim wrap up the episode with mutual appreciation, highlighting the value of honesty and vulnerability in their father-son-like relationship.

Notable Quotes:

Ego [62:42]: "It's refreshing to hear that because I don't have children."

Tim [60:31]: "Just continue to do that stuff. And... you're very versatile."

Tim shares his excitement for upcoming projects, including touring stand-up shows and roles in new movies, while Ego encourages listeners to support Tim's endeavors.

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Key Takeaways:

• Resilience and Personal Growth: Both Ego and Tim emphasize the importance of personal development, especially during challenging times like the COVID-19 pandemic.

• Complex Father-Child Relationships: Tim's honest recounting of his relationship with his father underscores the nuanced dynamics that can exist between fathers and sons.

• Role Models Matter: The influence of positive male figures beyond one's biological father can significantly shape one's approach to life and parenting.

• Balanced Parenting: Combining authority with friendship fosters open communication and mutual respect between parents and children.

• Sustaining Creativity: In creative professions, adaptability and persistent effort are crucial for long-term success and relevance.

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This episode of "Thanks Dad" offers a profound exploration of fatherhood, personal challenges, and the enduring impact of supportive relationships. Tim Meadows' candid storytelling provides listeners with both laughter and valuable life lessons, embodying the essence of Ego Nwodim's mission to bridge the gap between absent fathers and those seeking guidance.

Transcript

[Ego Odom]

This is a Headgum podcast. So, guys, I'm Ego Odom, and welcome to. Thanks, Dad. I was raised by a single mom, and I don't have a relationship with my dad, partially because he's dead now. But don't feel bad for me. It is okay. We didn't have a relationship before that. Spoiler. So, this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who are, no offense to my next guest, old enough to be my dad, or. Or who are just dads themselves. I'm going to get to ask the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad. Like, how do I know if the guy I'm dating is right or wrong for me? And my God, how do I change the oil in my car? I moved to New York because I didn't want to have to change oil ever again, and partially because I ended up on Saturday Night Live. And speaking of Saturday Night Live, my next guest is someone you know from Saturday Night Live. Ladies, man, the Mean Girls, the Goldbergs, and tons more. Please welcome my dad for the day. You've agreed to be called that. Tim Meadows. Hi, Tim. How are you?

[Tim Meadows]

Hi. Hi. How are you? Good to see you again.

[Ego Odom]

Good to see you. It's been. Been far too long. I mean, we are. It's been way too. It's almost as long as it's been since I've seen my real dad.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Ego Odom]

No, don't be sorry. It's fine. It's honestly not as long. I hadn't seen him in. Way longer.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, we. We had fun the last time we saw each other.

[Ego Odom]

We did. I really appreciated that. That was very cool. Tim and I improvised together at San Francisco Sketch Fest in, I believe, 2019.

[Tim Meadows]

It was somewhere around there.

[Ego Odom]

Somewhere around there. Right. We don't have a fact check on this podcast, so you can say whatever, frankly.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay, good. Well, I know it was before COVID because we were all, like, no mask, and everybody was touching each other.

[Ego Odom]

We were touching. We were sweating. We weren't scared. Oh, my goodness. Before times.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

By the way, I don't know if this is weird to ask. How was Covid for you?

[Tim Meadows]

Covid was. I. I grew a lot from COVID actually. During COVID I started doing yoga and meditating.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I took it really serious. I took it seriously, and I really fell in love with it.

[Ego Odom]

And it's.

[Tim Meadows]

It's. I have a daily practice.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And it all came from this. Just the desire to, like, work out or exercise, but also from the desire of not having anxiety attacks. During the day.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Okay. Of course.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. So. And then I think the other thing, I just got closer with my kids. Actually spent a lot more time with both of my sons in Chicago.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I think that was a big influence. It really affected our relationship because we, you know, you. Like, we were stuck together.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And so it was like, I was a good, entertaining dad, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Okay, so wait. Can I ask how you were experiencing what you were experiencing during COVID and anxiety attacks, panic attacks, perhaps. And then made the choice to meditate. Sounds like even, in fact, be just more present, perhaps. Was that, like, from the recommendation of a therapist, or was that just a thing you said? I'm doing my own research online, and this is something I want to do or need to do.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, it was a combination of both. I have a therapist, and I do talk to him, like, you know, weekly.

[Ego Odom]

We left there.

[Tim Meadows]

It also came. Yeah. But it also came from just the. I was just having daily sort of, like, moments of. Because when it all first happened, I was by myself, and I have an apartment in Venice. And so I was just there, and I. My. Everybody else was away from me. And so in the very beginning, it was just hard for me to make it through the day without, like, being worried about what was going on in the news or what was happening in my life or just trying. I wanted to get to Chicago and everything to see my boys.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And so it was. And it was a recommendation from my therapist and something that I had, I just knew I had to get into.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Right. I mean, I found it to be incredibly helpful myself through the pandemic. And. And even before then, I think I had a practice of being still and. And looking inward. I've learned a lot about meditation in the last couple years, but I think even before that, again, I was like, I'm into praying. I'm into meditating. I'm into those quiet times. But I feel like Covid really made all of us go, okay, this is. This is really important, especially when you're by yourself in that way.

[Tim Meadows]

I was going to say. It's funny, though, because even during that time, I put a Bible app on my phone because I started reading the Bible again. I started getting. I was like, I need some input to, like, to give me some, like, perspective. And just. I want to. I want to make. I want to take advantage of this free time that I have to get closer spiritually and.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And everything else.

[Ego Odom]

So let me tell you about the Bible app, y'all. I have that on my phone. And everyone. So I'll just peep at the verse of the day and go, okay, all right. We love that. It's just a little dose of something tender and.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, and.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, please.

[Tim Meadows]

And. And also, if you want to just be scared or if you want some, like, you know, bloody stories, you go to the Old Testament, put on. I would put on. I would let the guy, the voice, read it to me.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

You would just hear about all the sacrifices and slaughtering of animals. You know, I go, this is like a John Carpenter or. You know, it's crazy.

[Ego Odom]

You know, they can really make some movies out of these Old Testament stories.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Now, what voice did you pick? Because I don't like when my phone makes any sound whatsoever. I don't want to hear. I mean, phone calls and facetimes, but otherwise, I'm like. I don't want any vocal. Anything coming in. I don't even want Siri talking back to me. But what voice did you pick? Did you get to. Or did you go default?

[Tim Meadows]

I picked the default male voice.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

I picked the male voice because it just sounded more ominous and, like, I don't know, the female voice sounds like, very soothing. But, like, for the Old Testament stories, I really did like to have the male voice.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Talking about oxen being slaughtered, did you.

[Ego Odom]

Switch to the female voice when you got to the New Testament?

[Tim Meadows]

No, I didn't. But I tell you, I do use the female voice for my. When I was doing the meditation app.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

I started doing that.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

The female voice, I love much far more soothing.

[Ego Odom]

Where does that come from? I believe our voices are more soothing, too.

[Tim Meadows]

I do, too. I think he comes from the womb.

[Ego Odom]

You know, I'm gonna get to the womb with you now, Tim. This is what we're here to talk about.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

My relationship with my dad. Or lack thereof in your case. What was your relationship with your dad like?

[Tim Meadows]

My relationship with my father, he. My peers also separated when I was about seven years old.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And then for a while, and we lived in the same city, but I didn't even see my father for maybe a couple of years or something like that. And then my sister Rwanda, who is two years older than me, and I think I maybe was 7, so she was 9. She demanded to go to his house.

[Ego Odom]

And I love it, Wanda.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And so she. My mother took us, got us in the car, we went to his house and knocked on the door like kids.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And then what happened back in the day? There was this thing, these things called milk chutes.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Where the milkman will leave the bottles of milk.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I was small enough to fit through the milk chute, and so they opened the milk chute and pushed me in. And then I went in and opened the door, and we all went in, and my father was, like, pretending like he was. What's going on? What are you guys doing here? I was asleep.

[Ego Odom]

When all else fails, pretend to be asleep. I feel like no shade. I mean, I feel like I learned this from men, but just pretend I'm disoriented. What's going. Hold on. Who are you? I'm sorry. I was sleeping my dreaming. Wait, so y'all broke into your dad's house?

[Tim Meadows]

Broke into our dad's house.

[Ego Odom]

And I love it because Wanda said this needs to happen. Now, was your mom at all reticent, or was she at this point? You hadn't seen him for a couple of years like you said, and so what was your mom's take on that?

[Tim Meadows]

My mother's take was that if this is something you want, then I'm gonna do it, because she agreed. And to my mother's credit, she never talked negative about my father.

[Ego Odom]

Same, by the way. I feel like growing up, I've seen the tropes of the bitter woman, single mother raising her children and bashing men and dumping all her emotional baggage on her children. And I'm like, I didn't have that experience. My mom never spoke negative about my dad either. So she said to you guys, if you guys, if that's something you want, let's go over there. Let's. I'm going to take you there. And I mean, I appreciate that. And absolutely to your mom's credit, that is.

[Tim Meadows]

And really to my sister's credit, too. Like I said, she was just a couple years older than me, but then she sort of forced my father to have a relationship with us, and. And then he did, you know, so from the time I was maybe 10 on, we would. I would see him more.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

But my relationship with him wasn't father, son. It was more friend friendly, you know, and more like he was a big jazz fan, so we had that in common. I. I played saxophone.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

In high school and through school and stuff. So he loved the fact that I was a musician. We got stoned together when I was old.

[Ego Odom]

Were you how old? He's like, okay, I'm not far.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, I got stoned with him. And I think actually that, like, brought us closer together, too, because I got to see him in a different light, you know, and he. He saw me Achieve stuff. And so he was always very proud of me and surprised and stuff.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

But, you know, man, my father's passed away, too, but I think about my father every day. Like, there's moments during the day when I. Or things that will happen and I will remember something that he said or something he made me laugh about, or I hear it in myself sometimes when I'm doing standup and if I'm riffing on stuff, then sometimes I'll be like, man, that sounds just like what my father would say. Wow.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

It's wild.

[Ego Odom]

That's so cool. So no, even hearing that you think about him every day. That's so lovely to hear, frankly. And also knowing that he was more of a friend to you than, say, a father figure in the way that I think a lot of us think about it. Is any part of it part of you wish he had been a father figure to you and more of that than your friend?

[Tim Meadows]

And. Yeah, I mean, I wish when I was younger, I had that kind. Because he didn't do sports. I. He never threw a ball to me or at me.

[Ego Odom]

Well, that's good that you are. Right. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. But, like, the thing, like. But when I was younger. Yeah. Like, I missed, from ages of 7 to 10 or whatever, I missed those kind of, like, things. And I would see other kids doing those things with their fathers going, you know, little league sports or, you know, fishing. My father took us fishing when I was really young, and then we stopped doing it, and I missed that, you know.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

But I think in hindsight, being a man now, I'm sort of annoying my dad, knowing what kind of man he was. I'm kind of glad that we were both friends more than Father, son.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ego Odom]

No, please tell me, what kind of man was he, in your view?

[Tim Meadows]

Well, he was a player.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. So he was outside. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

He was out there. He was.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, it is funny because I saw some snippets of Keenan's book, and he was talking about, like, the African American people on the show, and he said that I was, like, a Harvard guy who was, like, cerebral and quiet and stuff. And I'm like, I didn't go to Harvard, first of all.

[Ego Odom]

First of all, I went to Yale. No. Okay. Where did you go?

[Tim Meadows]

I went to Wayne State University.

[Ego Odom]

Detroit. Yep.

[Tim Meadows]

But also, like, my fam. Like, I grew up in the city, like, my family. Like, I have a very typical upbringing, you know what I'm saying? For I grew up in Detroit, My separated parents, my father. I would see my Father out drinking in the streets of Detroit, you know, like, okay, okay, yeah, so I, yeah, so my, that's the kind of man my dad was. He was a hard working dude, but he, he drank. He didn't really step up when it was time to be a father. Well, here's the other thing that we discovered about my dad when I was about 16, 17, was that he had another family before my family.

[Ego Odom]

Yes. Okay, well, so this is a thing when, when I was thinking about this podcast, and I have been for many years, and thinking about it in this forum and other forms I've done so much research about, I mean, I found some stat about how many adults don't have a relationship with their father and how it's not as rare as you think. And I, in talking about this, have been like, in talking to friends about it, it's so fascinating to me how many men have multiple families, like actually at the same time, at the same time, secret families. This is not as rare as you'd like to think. And at a certain point before I was having these conversations, I had a certain naivete about it too. Cause I'd go, oh my gosh, that is, I have never heard of such a thing. But now I'm like, I heard of that, but I'm like, I've heard of it at this point. And I have so many friends from college. I look at, in getting closer to them over the years too. I discovered, oh, you're part of your dad's second family and you're part of the family for which he decided to step up. And I mean, I wanna talk to some dads who have done that to know what made you wanna step up for this and like be a present father. Cause you have this other family that did not experience the benefit or the same kind of harm or what have you of your presence. I mean, my dad had another family, not secret family, but went on to have another family and was a very present father for them. And so that's just fascinating to me. But it's not as rare as we like to think it is, by the way.

[Tim Meadows]

No, yeah, no. And actually I was talking to a friend, another, a comedian, and I would say who it is, but I'm not sure if he's really said this in the press.

[Ego Odom]

Sure.

[Tim Meadows]

But we were talking about it and I told him about my experience with my dad and he said he had the same thing and he's not African American and he said he had the same thing and he was just surprised about it. And it changed how he, you know, thought of his father. But. Yeah. We discovered it when I was. I would think it was kept for me. My. Maybe my older brothers and sisters knew.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

But my sister Wanda again, was. Yeah. She was in Michigan State.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And she saw that there was another Meadows in the student directory, you know, for the faculty.

[Ego Odom]

Sure.

[Tim Meadows]

Actually. And so she called him and said, my name is Wanda Meadows. I'm a freshman. I just saw your name and his name is Lee Meadows. And he was teacher and he was at Michigan State. And they started talking and then discovered that they had the same father.

[Ego Odom]

Wow. What a way. Okay. Because. Because Wanda is giving superhero to me. Powerful superhero.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

What did she do with that information? Did she call your dad and confront him?

[Tim Meadows]

Yes.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. And he froze up and was like, I'm asleep. I'm asleep. What happened? I was. I still got the cold in my eye. Ok.

[Tim Meadows]

I swear. I swear he did. He would not. He would not recognize it to us ever. Like, I don't think he ever. For me personally, like, I don't think he ever said anything about his other family. Even after we all knew what was.

[Ego Odom]

The deal when ultimately he pretended to be asleep. Did he ever acknowledge, even in that moment, like, okay, yes, this is happening. But then did it go from acknowledging to not wanting to talk about it? Or did it go from, I'm not going to acknowledge and I'm not going to talk about it.

[Tim Meadows]

It went from acknowledging it to not talking about it super quickly.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And we just never. It was never a thing. But we have a relationship with my other brothers and sisters now.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And so that was like, the good thing about it, you know, and for us to find, like, my brother Lee is a doc. He is a doctor. Is like. He's a professor.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, his other. And his other siblings are all like, educated.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

My. One of my stepsisters lived in Paris her whole life, you know.

[Ego Odom]

Oh, wow.

[Tim Meadows]

And like finding all this stuff, like, I'm like, oh, yeah, that. It's sort of like our family. Like, we're this. Like, we. We go for what we want. We are afraid to. Like, we're achievers, basically. You know what I'm saying?

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

So it was really eye opening to meet those people because it changed my perspective of what I could do.

[Ego Odom]

Really, you know.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[Ego Odom]

Inspired you?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, Yeah. I was like, if my brother. If I have a brother that's a doctor, as a doctor's degree M. I'm from the same genes. I can. I can achieve something, you know.

[Ego Odom]

Isn'T it fascinating when you, like, discover what's inside of you. I say that, like, my mom was a single mom and went to. I don't say she was a single mom and went to medical school after having four children. And for me, I'm like, I could do anything in my mind as a result. And I don't know if in that time, you know, when I'm growing up, I think to myself, oh, because my mom did this, I believe I can do anything. But it's just the seeing it and what that does inside of you, subconsciously even, and then knowing it. Now, did you meet these siblings? This is then, presumably before you got on snl?

[Tim Meadows]

I met them before, yeah. And the one that we've had the closest relationship with is my brother Lee. And so, yeah, we've had a relationship, and they've been able to see. Yeah, everything too.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Now, did your dad step up for Lee and his siblings, or was he present for them?

[Tim Meadows]

No.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

He wasn't.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

You guys were having the same experience.

[Tim Meadows]

Then, in that same experience. And I. And there's a little crossover, too. Like the kids. My oldest brother and, like, Lee's youngest sister. And then he goes like, maybe in the same year or something.

[Ego Odom]

Oh, wow. Like one town over.

[Tim Meadows]

No. No.

[Ego Odom]

Wow.

[Tim Meadows]

My dad was a player.

[Ego Odom]

I heard you. And he didn't care.

[Tim Meadows]

He had a car.

[Ego Odom]

He had a car and was on a mission to get as much as he could.

[Tim Meadows]

He was like, I'm gonna have a family on the west side.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And east side.

[Ego Odom]

And if there was a north and a south of Detroit, he would have done that as well. Okay, that is fascinating. So when you say that, you're glad, in a sense, that he was more of a friend to you than a father figure. Did you respect your dad once you had that relationship with him?

[Tim Meadows]

That's a good question. Wow. I. Oh, boy. That's like, one of the therapy questions.

[Ego Odom]

It's resonating. Listen, by the way, if I had just met you, I'm this person. I'm like, tell me everything. But I'm sorry.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, I feel comfortable talking to you because I. Yeah, I know you enough that I could. But, yeah, honestly, I didn't have a lot of respect for my father as a father figure. Just the examples that I saw, you know? And so I had to separate that from the man that I was getting to know as an adult, you know, from the time I was 17 on. I really didn't ask my father for advice or help or anything like that, you know? So I didn't have, like, this respect for him. I'm getting choked up that I wish I would have had. Yeah, I. I did. I had. Luckily in my life, though, I had father figures that I adopted, and I was. Saw how these men carry themselves in the way they treated their wives and their kids. And I use those people as examples of how to be a man. So. Yeah, that's a good question.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. It's tough because I do have a lot of respect for my mom. And having seen what she overcame, having seen how she stepped up and just handled business, and having seen the way she conducts herself about all of this stuff that we're even talking about here. Yet at the same time, when I went away to college, I've said this already, I recognized her as a person. And I think growing up, at least for me, I just was like, this is a superhero. Like, you're the adult. You're an adult, and you're going to be this perfect arbiter of justice, and you know how to make all the right decisions. And once I got to college, going across the country was probably the best thing I could have ever done, because it just made me see her as a person, be like, oh, my goodness, that lady is just a person who is doing all of this. Going to med school, raising these kids.

[Tim Meadows]

Amazing stuff.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. And has no experience with this beyond this actual experience she's having and going at it one day at a time, fresh and new, improvising, if you will.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

But she's just a person. So some of the things I'm upset with her about, oh, my goodness, she's literally just a person. And we hear it all the time, trying her best. But I, like, seriously, just a gal who had some kids and is like. And is, like, figuring it out as she goes. And so I think I had a lot of respect for her when I was. Some of that frustration about things with my mom was like, I had a lot of respect for her and thus expected her to be able to make X and Y decisions and intelligently and in a way where she. That demonstrates that she knows everything and knows what she's doing. And so you want to have that respect for your parents, and you want to have that even if there are other people. And I had a lot of people. I had a lot of positive male figures in my life. My mom never remarried, but I didn't have a bad view of men. And I. And I got to see men who stepped up for their families, and I got to see men who were loving and kind and invested in me and my success. But you want to. Yeah. You want to have that respect for your parents. There's something that feels really special about that. If you could have, okay, had the option of having a father figure you respect or a friend in your father, which would you choose? Because sometimes I'm like, I don't know if my mom's my friend. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, I think for, like, different periods of my life, like I said, I think I much rather would have had my father been in my life more when I was younger and then through the teenage years. It would have been good to have him to help me figure out stuff, too. Yeah. So I think I'd much rather would have had, like, a traditional father in my life. That would have been great. But I think the way it all turned out, you know, I was, you know, smart enough to, like, look in and pick other people and see other men and say, oh, okay. Even if I don't have to even ask that person any questions, I can just look at the. What they're doing, and I can see that, like, I want to be like that, you know, And I'll see, like. One of my first men that I looked up to was my gym teacher, this guy that. Who also went to my church. His name was David Pettway. His name is David Petway. And I even, like, wrote his name in the sketch when I was in it.

[Ego Odom]

Did he love it? Because people love when you do. Yeah. One of mine, Veronda, is named after my friend's mom, because I just love that name. But they love it.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, but. Yeah, so he was one of the first guy, because he was married, loved his kids, was church going guy, very athletic and very positive, smart dude, teacher. And then there was this guy named Joe Kaminsky, who was another teacher. And when I was a kid and he was this white guy, athlete. But, like, I never seen tough kids respect a guy as quickly as they respected him, because he just did not take shit from anybody. And he was a big dude. He was white, working in all African American, you know, school, predominantly African American. But he set fear in the heart so the boys in that class just by flexing his biceps.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, but Mr. Commence, that dude took.

[Tim Meadows]

Me under his wing because he saw like, that I. He was just like, thought I had something special. And he let. I was his assistant. You know, teachers don't have assistants.

[Ego Odom]

Right, Right.

[Tim Meadows]

You come hang out with football team. Here's the paddle. I want you to take attendance. He, like, gave me things to do and stuff.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And so it was like, guys like that. But I do want to say too, like, your experience with your mom and like, yeah. When I first moved to Chicago to. To do improv was the first time I was really on my own to make, making money, living off my own money and paying for a house or rent and stuff like that. And I remember not being able to, like, house food for like a week after getting paid and stuff. And I was like, I don't even have money to buy groceries or anything.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I thought, how did my mother feed six kids on less than what I was making? You know?

[Ego Odom]

Right. I think that often. I can tell you the answer to your Chicago thing is that you were living in an apartment that was too nice. That's why I'm like, your rent was too high. Nope. You was living in an apartment that was too nice. You needed to be in a hostel type situation. Shared, shared shower with a bunch of strangers in the hall. Yeah. But I feel that often when I think about how overwhelmed I can get, anxious, even I can get as I'm like, navigating life in the world and I'm putting air quote, responsibilities. Because I'm like, does not compare to having six children at this age or four children at this age. I do have those moments where I go, how did you do that? And people will say, I've asked friends, because my day job, before I had snl, I worked with some people who were in that situation where they had kids and their partners were not present. And so they were going at it on their own. And they. And I'd ask them, like, how are you doing this? And they're like, if you have to, you'd be surprised what you're capable of when you don't have any other options. And so kudos to your mom because she did a fantastic job. And also shout out to those teachers who make kids feel seen in that way. And I think that really does change the trajectory of one's life. Cause I have teachers in high school that I remember thinking, I don't wanna disappoint Mr. Bressler. I don't wanna disappoint Mr. Spivey. And that's. I'm 20 years old, years old, still thinking about my high school teacher. I'm like, I don't even know if they're thinking about me. But they did such a great job while I was in their classroom that I'm thinking about them across the country all these years later.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Were there any male figures in Your family that you could look to and say, I respect the way you are showing up as a male figure and as a man.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes, definitely. Okay. My older brother, Lathan.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I hope he hears this, because I love him.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

He's. He was an Air Force career guy. Air Force. And went to join the Air Force right out of high school. He was in the ROTC during high school. And, you know, he was always different. He was smarter than everybody. Seriously, like, he was smarter than everybody.

[Ego Odom]

And you're not just saying that because that's your brother. I can see it in your eyes. You're like, no, he really was always.

[Tim Meadows]

Say he knew a little bit about everything.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know?

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And just the way he carried himself, like a military dude. And he was very respectful and had pride and, like, he is just an amazing man. And so he was one of the first guys I looked at, like, all right, I'm not like, a military dude, but I dig the way he carries himself because people respect him. And one time, and he. He's. He's probably like 6, 1, muscular, broad chest, you know, handsome dude.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And he came to visit me when I was at snl.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I came up to the writers room with his wife, and he hung out. And he's just one of those personalities. You think he's running for mayor. When you meet him, he's like, how are you? Where are you from? What's your family like?

[Ego Odom]

Kissing babies, holding babies, petting dogs. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

He made the rounds in the writing writer's room, and then I walked him out to the elevators and then came back into the writers room. And all of the women in the writers room were a mouth wide open, like, that's your brother. I was like, yeah, Yeah. I did it all. I know. He's handsome. He's charismatic. You love him. I get it. Trust me. I get. As my whole life has been. Where's your brother Lathit?

[Ego Odom]

That's so funny.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Wait, how. How much older than you is he?

[Tim Meadows]

He's six years older than me, I think.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Incredible.

[Tim Meadows]

So he was like. Like somebody in my family. And my uncle Warren Meadows, too. He's a. He was a pastor, and he. He was my birthday buddy. We have the same birthday.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And he said he would always take me out to birth for my. We have a birthday dinner every year. And he just stayed in our lives after my parents split up as my dad's brother, and so he just stayed in our lives, and he helped my mom find a house to live In. He would always, like, you know, take us shopping for clothes.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Sears or whatever for school.

[Ego Odom]

RIP Sears, by the way.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And so. And he always wore a shirt and ties and, like, sweater vests and, you know, and so whenever I've played teachers, you know, mean girls and.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

I. I hope I dressed like my Uncle Warren in those roles.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Because that's how I saw him too.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

So, yeah, those. Those guys were very influential. And then there was friends of mine, my. And the other guy, I would have to say, obviously, or not obviously, but really big was my best friend when I was growing up. His name is Byron Smith. And his family basically took me in and adopted me as their seventh kid.

[Ego Odom]

Wow. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And so his father, Robert Smith Jr. Was just. He was another dude. He was a family dude. He worked hard. He played golf. I never knew a black man to play golf.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, I mean, like, we saw Tiger and then. But he wasn't around. Yes.

[Tim Meadows]

And so he was another man in my life that just totally. He was an example of, like, he was tough. He got. People respected him. And like, back in those days, when you go out into. When being an African American man, going out into to a predominantly white world, you would see men become more docile as they had to deal with people. My father wasn't like that. Mr. Smith wasn't like that.

[Ego Odom]

Right, Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And my brother Lincoln wasn't like that.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And I remember seeing my father and all of them just like, not take any shit from people.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Did it make you want to be like that then, too? It made you want. Because you've seen the other version of it, but you go, I want to show up like that in the world.

[Tim Meadows]

Exactly. And I was like that for my kids, for both of my boys, too. One of my rules for being a dad was I will not let somebody disrespect me in front of my kids. I won't do it.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

You'd be surprised.

[Ego Odom]

Yes.

[Tim Meadows]

Being a black man in America, what people will say and do to you in front of your kids and not have any clue of how it would affect the way your kids see you. So even from like a waitress disrespect giving you a bad table or an. An officer, police officer talking to you like you're not a man. You know, it's like, I'm not. My kids aren't. They're not going to see that. Like, one time, I was. I was in L. A one time, and this. Me and my son were like. We basically jaywalked because I was trying to get across the street really quick, and the cop was on the other side. And I get across the street and he goes. The cop goes, you know, what you did is against the law. And my son holding my son's hand. And I go, yeah, I know it is. And he goes, I don't want to see that again. I go, listen, are you going to give me a ticket or are you going to lecture me? Because I'm not going to take both.

[Ego Odom]

Right, right.

[Tim Meadows]

My son looked at me like I was Superman.

[Ego Odom]

Right. And that's what you think of your parents at that age. Whether we're saying it or not, because you have had that experience as someone's child, we're looking at our parents for cues on how to show up in the world. And so that was my dog barking. Yes. And amen. But you see, those moments are paramount and they're pivotal for us. And I think those are the moments we go, oh, okay, I'm picking up on something that's not okay. But what is okay is to stand up for yourself, and it is okay to have a boundary. I did break the law air quotes. Because I'm like, jaywalking. Come on, now. I feel like jaywalking. The punishment for jaywalking should be you get hit by a car. If you get hit by a car, you get hit by the car. If you didn't get hit by the car, let people ride.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay? Let God be the judge. Exactly.

[Ego Odom]

We don't need tickets. We don't need you.

[Tim Meadows]

If I make it across the street safely, it's okay.

[Ego Odom]

It's okay. And if I don't, my punishment is I've gotten Molly whopped by a vehicle. Okay. I mean, I was gonna ask you what kind of dad you feel you are and how of the way your father was a father shows up in how you parent your children.

[Tim Meadows]

I would say, now I've been in my kid's life the whole time, even though I got divorced.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

But I made sure that I didn't, you know, I didn't want to have the same relationship that I went through. And so I moved to Chicago. I bought a place there and centered my career there. And then I just fought to see my boys as much as I possibly could. And so I wanted that to be an example to them also. That was one thing. And when they were younger and I used to have to fly back to LA and that, you know, and it was always sad. It was always sad because they knew I was going.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I told them both, I said, I'm going to buy a place here. I'm going to buy a place here for us. And then when I did, I said to my son Isaiah, do you remember when I said I was gonna buy a house here? And he, I do, Dad, I remember. And I was like, this is it. I'm here and we're living here now, you know. And so I try to let them know that they can talk to me about anything now, you know. Yeah, they can. No matter what it is. I let them know that it's a very open relationship. I can shift between being your father and your friend now. I think the things that I've taught them or they've seen for me through example is hard work. How much I love my family, my brothers and sisters and my, you know, I lived in, I live in Detroit now. And so they have a much better relationship with my family. And so. And because my ex wife, my kids are mixed, my ex wife is white. So that added another reason for me to stay in their lives. Because they are going to grow up being seen as African American men. And I just wanted to be an example for them as to how the next generation of Meadows men are going to live.

[Ego Odom]

I think that's fantastic. Do you think now as a father and I heard you say you can switch between that father Figaro and a friend with them.

[Tim Meadows]

Is it.

[Ego Odom]

Do you think it's important to be your, your kid's friend?

[Tim Meadows]

I think, I think you have to have a friendship relationship with your friends, I mean with your kids. And you know, I used to say to my sons when they were growing up and I, it was one of the rules is that there's going to be a point in your life where you're going to have to make a judgment about me and your mom and your grandparents and your friends. And it's all based on their history and relationship and the way you see them. And me too. So yeah, I mean, I sort of told them, like, you're always gonna love me as your father. I'm always going to be the type of father that you're going to want to, you know, love and respect. But after a certain point you're going to have to like, figure out if you respect me as a human being and as a man and as another person that you see in your life, you know, and I've told them this, you will lose respect for people that you know for some reason or another. But the people that can maintain that risk, you know, maintain the a level of respect, you know, those people will Be there forever, you know, like my brother, Latin. I have so much respect for him.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

I will always have it, you know, and he. I don't think he'll ever let it. Let me down. You know what I mean?

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Yeah. And is that something you think about, though, where you go, I don't ever want to let these kids down.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes, I do. And there's been times in my life growing up, like, there's. I've made mistakes. I'm not. Definitely not perfect, whatever. And, you know, being. Being a person that can be in the public or have people say things about you online or whatever, you know, that can. That can be tough.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And I've sort of experienced that a little bit with my boys, where I've had to say the things that you're seeing or hearing or whatever, is not actual, you know, what's going on or whatever. But, yeah, it makes it a little bit tougher. And one of the things I try to do now is, like, stay out of the news. I don't try to do that.

[Ego Odom]

I haven't seen too much about you in the news, except for Molly Shannon wrote your son a college recommendation letter. I'm like, we were doing our research. Like, damn. Tim is. Tim is out the way. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. I moved to Detroit. I quietly go about my career now, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Yes, yes. How did you make that decision to move to Detroit?

[Tim Meadows]

And it was really. I guess, during COVID and everything, it was. I just felt like I wanted to be closer to people I grew up with and my family, and I really wanted my boys to, because I know they're in Chicago.

[Ego Odom]

Right, though. They're the boys.

[Tim Meadows]

They grew up in Chicago. But now my oldest son is out of college. He's living in D.C. okay. And the younger one is at NYU.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

So he's in New York.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Because I know during Pandemic, it was like, look, I'm kind of out here on my own in Venice, but I want to go be closer to the family that was Chicago. Detroit was like. To be closer to where you came up.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes, where I came. Where I grew up. And so, yeah, I bought that place. It was sort of like, I don't even know how this sounds, but it's like, well, I can afford it. I can afford it, so I'm going to go ahead and buy it.

[Ego Odom]

Here's my thing. I want all my guests to be able to speak freely, guys. So I'm gonna need the audience to show us all some grace. And everyone. Everyone is simply speaking from their perspective. Tim has worked. Look at me different. I'm like, hold on. Tim has worked very hard for the life and the lifestyle he has. Okay. So he could afford another place. Yeah, I'm. I am bopping my head.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

And so you got another place.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. So I bought this other place. And. And so I figured I just wanted to be in Detroit. I wanted to be in Michigan. I want to be near my family. Yeah. So I just sort of made it my hub. And so doing stand up and everything. It's easier for me to fly around the country and stuff too.

[Ego Odom]

Wherever it is you want. You want to go now. Do you. How many children do you have? I should have asked this earlier, but how many?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, I have two. Two boys.

[Ego Odom]

Two boys. Okay. It was giving two boys, but I didn't know if we were leaving out a daughter or some kind of.

[Tim Meadows]

No, I only have it. I only have the one family.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. The one just. It's just one for you. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And one time. Yeah, one time when my. When I got divorced or. And everything. One. I. This. And I live. Relive this moment over in my head so many times. But I was dropping my boys off to their moms, and in my young. And they were young, cute. And my young. My oldest son, Isaiah, he went in. He was. They both hugged me. And he went in and he said, wait, dad. And he went. Grabbed a toy, one of his toys, and brought it out and gave it to me. And he goes, I want you to give this to your other family.

[Ego Odom]

What?

[Tim Meadows]

I almost started crying. And I said, you are my only family. There's nobody else. And when I go home, I just think about you guys. There's nobody else. And there never will be another family.

[Ego Odom]

Angel, wait, what. What do you think made him say that?

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know.

[Ego Odom]

I don't know.

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I don't want to. I don't want to place blame or.

[Ego Odom]

I understand. I see, I see. Okay. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

But I. I just. But it was the sweet. And I just thought, like. And that's the kind of kid he is too, man. Yeah, he's that kind of man. But, like, he was. Got through his pain of it.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And the next level for him was like, I want to make you happy. And whoever you. Wherever you're going, I want you to be happy with that life too.

[Ego Odom]

That is very sweet.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. I love my boys.

[Ego Odom]

Oh, good. That's amazing. I mean, did you care in terms of career path for each of them? I heard you joke that you know, you didn't want your son to get into comedy, and so he's studying music now in earnest. Did you care what they chose to do for work or what they're pursuing?

[Tim Meadows]

No, I didn't and I don't even now, like, like, you know, I think the thing I'm trying not to do is, like, push them along and like, go, you know, hey, call this person they can and they'll give you a. You know, I'm trying to let them, like, achieve things on their own through their own, you know, network and stuff like that.

[Ego Odom]

That's important.

[Tim Meadows]

But I. Yeah, my oldest son did some. Some open mic nights.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Stand up and stuff.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And his roommate said he did pretty good.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

But he's always acted, like all through high school and when he was younger, too. And he always did well. He always got the. Either the co. Lead and he always played the bad guy, too, which is funny. I know he was angry.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Does he sounds tender to me, giving you this?

[Tim Meadows]

He is very tender, but he has these thick eyebrows, though.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. It's the eyebrows when, you know, when you do think of a villain, you think thick eyebrows.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. So. And then your youngest. What is his passion?

[Tim Meadows]

Seemingly his passion is music also. Okay. I know the oldest one is into. Oldest one is into law, politics.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Understand? That's why the DC of it all. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Okay. And. And then the younger one is into music and art and. Yeah, he's really good too. Very proud of him. He does his own recordings and puts out music and. And he surprised me one time too. He. I was like, I knew he loved art and I like he. But he never really, like, show me stuff or play music for me.

[C]

He was.

[Tim Meadows]

I really kept it quiet, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And then one day he told me, like, oh, I got to do a self portrait for my class. And so I was like, okay, you know, good. Good luck. And then the next day, I was, like, in his room cleaning up stuff, and I opened his notebook and he had done a amazing self portrait of himself in pencil.

[Ego Odom]

Wow.

[Tim Meadows]

And I had never seen his artwork before.

[Ego Odom]

Wow, wow, wow.

[Tim Meadows]

And I was like, you are. I told him you are good.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

That's really good.

[Ego Odom]

Right, Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And so after that, I was just like, I'm going to, like, I will support you. I'm not going to be like one of those parents of, like, you know, maybe you should get a business degree on the side or saying, no, you're good.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. That's incredible. Do you think part of your accepting what it is your children want to do and accepting their passion and encouraging them to pursue their passion has to do with the fact that you are successful and can afford that second, third house. Or do you think you would have been that way regardless?

[Tim Meadows]

I think I would have been that way regardless.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I think even, you know, like, you know, like, we're in the same business.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

I am not Adam Sandler. I'm not Chris Rock. I don't have those careers. And my kids recognize that. You know what I mean?

[Ego Odom]

Right. They're like, my dad is not Chris Rock. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes. And so they know, like, there's a limit. Limit. We're not gonna have six houses.

[Ego Odom]

Not six houses. And these are, like. We're talking each of these. These houses are four. Four bedrooms, five max. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Three bathrooms, Maybe a swimming pool.

[Ego Odom]

Right, Maybe. And only one of them could have a swimming pool. I understand.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

I see what we're talking. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. But they know, like, when it comes to the, like, picking order at show biz, that, like, I'm, you know, I'm in the middle to the, you know, wherever. But. But they. And so they have a good understanding of, like, the reason I work hard and the reason I work so much. So I think even if I wasn't doing this, I think they would still get the same example. If I was any teacher or an astronaut or whatever, it would be like, dad works all the time, and he's always. He loves his job, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Beautiful. Now, you said something already about the public aspect of our job. Thus, your children have access to stories, and thus you're trying to stay out of the way as a result. Now, given what you just said about Adam Sandler and Chris Rock's careers and the fact that you're. Yes, of course. You didn't say anything back. I want people to talk freely. And let's stop misconstruing, folks. Okay. At least I'm not misconstruing you here. But. But when you speak about their careers and where yours is, I feel like as an artist, as a comedian, as a performer, even, say an artist, I kind of roll my eyes a little bit. Cause I'm like, I do sketch comedy.

[Tim Meadows]

You're an artist.

[Ego Odom]

Thank you. Well, I think that, like, there's such a vulnerability to what we do in the fact that it is public. And when something succeeds, that's public. When something fails, that's public. When something is mid, that's public. Do you feel any sort of discomfort around the fact that your kids can see where you fall in that pecking order.

[Tim Meadows]

No, I don't. Because, one, I don't think they really care about the failure or success of projects that I'm in.

[Ego Odom]

Sure.

[Tim Meadows]

But I do think they care about how I do in the project.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, I think they want, like, when the thing go see me in something, they want me to be good at it, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

So I don't. I don't have that concern of them seeing something be a bomb. Okay.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And also, I kind of feel like. I feel like I say it.

[Ego Odom]

I could see it in your eyes.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, I feel like there's no real bad choices because even. And this is my perspective after having been in showbiz for a while, is that it just doesn't matter. If something is a success, it'll be a success for three weeks.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And then you're on to the next thing. If something is a failure, it's a failure for four weeks, and then you're on to the next thing. And so all you. Chris Rock gave me the Chris Rock.

[Ego Odom]

Back to Chris Rock. Listen.

[Tim Meadows]

He gave me the best advice, and I've said it to my kids, and it's very typical and easy. Nose to the grindstone. Put your nose to the grindstone. Just work. Don't worry. Don't look up and worry about the thing they succeeded, the thing that failed, the thing that you got coming up. Just put your nose to the grindstone and work. And that's what I've done. And people will say to me, like, oh, I saw you, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot that I did that because you had.

[Ego Odom]

Your nose to the grindstone.

[Tim Meadows]

And my nose is focusing on the work itself and not focusing on the success or fail of things, because I really do believe, like, in the long run, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[Ego Odom]

Speak about the Bible. That's Ecclesiastes and Lauryn Hill and D'Angelo. Nothing even matters, which is one of my favorite songs, because it's a fact.

[Tim Meadows]

It is. Mine too. I love that song.

[Ego Odom]

It's refreshing to hear that because I don't have children. I'm on snl. I am. My dog does not give a damn if a sketch bombs or if it goes viral. And that's refreshing. And I always wondered what it would be like to have a family or. You know, I hear about the pressure parents put on themselves to achieve and to succeed and the ways they want their children to view them. And I've always wondered, just being in the public eye, what that's like when it's like, okay, your kids are old enough to see all of this stuff and see the work you do. And so that's refreshing to hear that. It's like, I know it doesn't matter, and it doesn't.

[Tim Meadows]

And mainly because of where I am in sort of the thing, too, is, like, none of the projects, that nothing is dependent on me to be successful or a fail. You know what I mean?

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

So I'm sort of in the middle ground of, like, if it succeeds, it'll help me, I guess, for a few weeks, and people will be like, oh, he was in that successful thing. So that's the place I am in my career. Like I said, I'm not like those guys where I top line the thing. And then, you know, if it fails, you're like, oh, it didn't. You know, his thing didn't do well. And I. And I sort of like being in that place.

[Ego Odom]

I was gonna say that sounds really lovely. Honestly, I'm like. Like, you seem so Zen. It's probably also the meditation.

[Tim Meadows]

It helps. It helps.

[Ego Odom]

I love hearing this. Now, is there something aside from nose to the Grindstone, something that is really important in your mind as a father to your sons for them to know, or something you really want to impart to them? I understand, again, the nose to the grindstone. It's important to you to show them how the next generation of meadows show up in the world. But if you could surmise what it's really important for you for them to know, what would that be?

[Tim Meadows]

It's a good one. I think the first thing is to trust your family and keep those people close, because they will protect you and they will help you, and they will tell you the truth. I mean, if that's one thing I would tell them, you know, I want them to remember, is that they can trust their family and that. That they're always there for you, you know? And then, you know, the other things that I have talked to them and told them, like, yeah, working hard, working harder than other people, you know, being respectful to people that are different from you, caring about people that are less fortunate. You know, I mean, it sounds very Pollyanna, but I do try to, like, teach them those things through example, and it would. Nobody's perfect also. So I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect.

[Ego Odom]

Right. Were you a disciplinarian? Tough dad?

[Tim Meadows]

No, I didn't. I. I didn't spank them.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

Never spanked them.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I hit both of Them on.

[Ego Odom]

Their bottom one time, they're like, what are you doing?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. It was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, man. What's up?

[Ego Odom]

What's going on?

[Tim Meadows]

But when they were younger, they got into a fight one time with each other, and I, like, grabbed them both and separated them. And then I made one go into the room, and then I hit his bottom, and then I made another going to the other room, and I hit his bottom on the way in.

[Ego Odom]

It was like a coach, like, good game. Yes. Good fight.

[Tim Meadows]

And then my youngest one, Julia, like, when I hit him on his bottom, because I meet him going to my room.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

He went, oh. And then it fell on the bed and started. He was crying. And I was between laughing and crying because the face was so funny. But also I. I knew that I hit his bottom, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And then the thing also being a parent is I asked them about that, and they have no remembrance of that whatsoever.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. About how old were they?

[Tim Meadows]

They were probably like eight, nine, you know, somewhere around that age.

[Ego Odom]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I thought it was like a. Traumatic. And I. I'm telling you, I cried that night. Like, going to bed after you were bed, I was like, I. I damaged them, and they gonna hate me and never. And then they cut to now they don't remember. They don't remember.

[Ego Odom]

Wow. Okay. But that's the moment you decided I'm not gonna be doing. That's. That's not my bad.

[Tim Meadows]

And it wasn't in me anyways. Like, I never. I never liked the idea because I've seen it. I've seen parents, you know, And I was like, I'm not going to do that with my kids. I don't think it's fair. I'm bigger than you.

[Ego Odom]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

But they knew when I raised my voice or when I talked to them in a certain way.

[Ego Odom]

Y. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Like, I'm talking right now when I'm telling you something right now. This is. I'm serious about it. Don't do that again. And so, yeah, I have to. I have to spank them, but they definitely. And now both of them are over six feet tall.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Try spanking me now. Yeah. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

So all I do is, like, it's all just counseling now and just talking to them very respectfully.

[Ego Odom]

Yes. You can bring out the voices. The voices will do it. In my opinion. I didn't really get spanked. Someone once told me, I can tell, but I don't know. I think I'm all right. But again, without having children myself, I'm Like, I really seem to think. And I used to babysit. It was one of my day jobs. And I'd seen the different types of parenting styles in Los Angeles, and I felt like, I really do think you can talk to kids. And I remember I took a Psychology of Childhood class in college. I just wanna sound smart. No, but just something I retained from that, that was like, yeah, kids are smarter than you think and they understand when you're talking to them. And I've done it. I remember babysitting this kid who I love. He just graduated high school. I started babysitting him when he was four years old, and he just graduated high school and he's going to ucla. My rival. That's great. I remember saying to him when he was 6 or something, he was trying to convince me his mom let them have snacks after a certain hour. And I was like, I really don't think so. Everything in here is organic. And I was. I said to him, can you please stop manipulating me? And he said, okay. And he dropped it. I literally just was like, kay. Just got very serious. I'm like, can you please stop trying to manipulate me? And he understood. He didn't go, what's that word? And so I don't tend to think it's necessary again, without having raised children myself. Just having had the experience of being a child, I don't think so. But I don't tend to think it's necessary. So that's interesting to hear from you, who has had children, how. How it devastated you, seemingly more than it devastated.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, it did. It did. I was just really like, it's just not for me. It's not for me.

[Ego Odom]

And that's it. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, and just also just. I don't like making anyone cry.

[Ego Odom]

You know what I mean?

[Tim Meadows]

It just. It kills me. And so, yeah, I got. I got through that quick. I got through that quick. Yeah. And then when he got older, like, and I did. I had my. My son when he was in high school. He was already 6ft Feet, so he's taller than me. And I told the story on Colbert or whatever, but it was true. Like, one time I was really angry at him and. And we were talking and he was standing up and he was towering over me while I was yelling up at him. And I went, go sit over there. You go sit down. And then he went over and sat on the couch and I went and stood over him and started going like.

[Ego Odom]

You and I told you, blah, blah, blah.

[Tim Meadows]

But it was like, at one point, I was looking at him, like, he could just reach over and just punch me on top of the head and pound feet to the ground like a cartoon.

[Ego Odom]

That's so funny. Do you think he knew why you were like, sit down. Go sit down. Because you immediately started towering away.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. He was also. He was a water polo player, so he was just not an ounce of fat on him and just muscular and.

[Ego Odom]

Oh, man. Now, I know. Tim, it sounded like I was wrapping things up when I asked you for whatever you tell your children that or you want to impart to your children. Sounded like I was wrapping up when I was doing. Asking you about that. But then I just had to know, do you spank these boys? So thank you for indulging me there. Now I end every episode asking each of my dads, you are my dad now for a piece of it. You need a daughter. You need a daughter. I think every man should have a daughter. I think every man should have a daughter. Because some of y'all be acting up. Okay. Which also, I have this weird theory it's not real, but that I go, oh, anytime a man has only daughters, he has done some dirt, and God is like, yeah, you have some girls. Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

But you leave it for it.

[Ego Odom]

Right. But I end each episode asking my guests for a piece of advice. And so in your case, given that you have worked at SNL and you know what that's like, and that's where I currently am, piece of advice I'd like to ask you is, how do you manage being a veteran on the show when you feel like you've exhausted all your ideas and you've done all the funny stuff and you're not gonna be able to top it after, in my case, going into seven years, you did 10, I believe, right?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, 10. Yeah.

[Ego Odom]

Yes. How do you manage that? What is. What is something you could share with me that might be helpful?

[Tim Meadows]

Well, I would make a list of my recurring characters.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And then I would say, I'm gonna do those twice a year or three times a year, separating them over this number of shows. And then the other thing I would do is start depending on the writers to come up with some sketches. I think I would start doing that more. And then I think I would also just get used to the idea of being light on the show from week to week. Oh, Tim, you know, I know. Just accept the fact that some younger people are coming in and they're hungry.

[Ego Odom]

And they're new and shiny.

[Tim Meadows]

New and shiny. And then you got great ideas and characters you haven't seen yet. And I would say to start working with those people, too. Become a Garth in somebody's Wayne's world.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. This is so helpful. It's also fascinating to hear from your perspective how you're able to manage recurring characters, because now with YouTube, it's insane and people are kind of like, we've seen it. If we want to see it, we can go online and see it. So how long you're able to stretch those recurring characters out now feels so much different, so much more difficult than. It's shorter.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ego Odom]

And then in terms of the writers coming up with ideas, it's so fascinating because you feel like, I hope you come up with something for me. You probably want to come up with something for the new shiny. You start to feel like, you know, I wonder if this is how older people feel in the world, in life where it's like, I'm not the. I'm not the shiny, the shiny baby anymore. I'm not that young thing.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm just gonna say I think you're great. Great.

[Ego Odom]

Thank you, Tim. Thank you.

[Tim Meadows]

Watching you on the show, I'm all. Anything I will say about you that you have going for you also is your versatility. You're very versatile and, like, you can do it all game. You know I'm saying, like, game shows. You know what I'm saying?

[Ego Odom]

Like, yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

[Tim Meadows]

A lot of people don't get that. Those type of casting on that show and so just continue to do that stuff. And, you know, the thing I did too, in my last couple years. Years was I didn't care if I was a straight guy.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Sketch.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And sometimes I started writing stuff just for other people, you know, and I'll be like, okay, I'm gonna write a sketch for, you know, Sherry and.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Tan or something, you know?

[Ego Odom]

Yeah. Yeah. That's so helpful and also very kind of you. Thank you. Thank you so, so much. I love when. I love when my dad for the day, compliments me.

[Tim Meadows]

You're good. You're a good person.

[Ego Odom]

Much to hear it from dad is. I don't get to. This is amazing. This is why I have the podcast. Thank you so much, Tim. I really appreciate you. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability on. On this episode. It's. It means a lot to me. I know it's going to mean a lot to people who are listening as well. Lathan Meadows, I hope you listen to this because your brother loves the hell out of you. Same with your kids. Is there anything you'd like to plug right now, please? Do take this opportunity.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay, well, I'm going. I'm touring all over the country doing stand up.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I'm going to. I'm in the new season of Peacemaker on Max. Okay. So I'll be doing that. And I'm going to Atlanta to finish doing that. This. See right now.

[Ego Odom]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And I got a movie coming out on Netflix around Christmas time with Lindsay Lohan.

[Ego Odom]

Great.

[Tim Meadows]

And I'm in the Pharrell musical movie from Universal coming out later this year.

[Ego Odom]

Incredible. What's that one called? Do we know?

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know what they call it, but it's the Pharrell bio.

[Ego Odom]

Okay. Okay, great. Amazing.

[Tim Meadows]

It's got a great cast, and I'm looking forward to seeing it.

[Ego Odom]

Yeah, yeah, same, same. Oh, my goodness. Guys, go check Tim out on tour. Look out for him in the new Lindsay Lohan movie on Netflix and the Pharrell musical biopic. I mean, I'm very excited for you. I'm excited to see you in more. I'm excited to see you. Stay out of the news. Please stay out of the news. If I see your name pop up on anything besides a trade, I'm scared.

[Tim Meadows]

It's not true. If you hear anything, if you did.

[Ego Odom]

And that's what you tell your boys, and that's what I'm going to tell my listeners. It's not true. If you heard it, it wasn't. It's not. He didn't do it. Not. Tim, thank you again for being here. Tim. Thank you guys for listening. I'm Eagle Odom, and Tim Meadows has been my dad for the day.

[Tim Meadows]

Thank you.

[Ego Odom]

Thank you. Thanks. Dad is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, Ego Wodem. The show is produced and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Konovskaya with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason Matheny for our show art and Ferris Monchi for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe, just maybe, we'll read it on a future episode. That was a Headgum podcast.

[C]

Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the so True podcast now on Headgum. Every week, me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I asked them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge, whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew a Wallow or my actual biological mother Kelly. My guests and I are just after the truth, and if we find it, great. And if not, no worries. So subscribe to so True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the so True with Caleb Herron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya.