Tituss Burgess

Summary

Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim — Episode Summary

Guest: Tituss Burgess
Air Date: December 9, 2025
Podcast: Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim (iHeartPodcasts)

---

Episode Overview

This episode features a candid, emotionally resonant conversation between host Ego Nwodim and multi-talented actor and singer Tituss Burgess. With both sharing backgrounds shaped by complex relationships with their fathers, the dialogue threads through family history, self-discovery, boundaries, identity, navigating fame, and the pursuit of personal peace. Each brings humor and vulnerability to the discussion, exploring how childhood experiences impact adult relationships, and how honesty and self-knowledge guide them through life and love. The episode concludes with advice for listeners on self-care and making friends in new environments.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Value of Frankness and Honest Communication

Timestamp: [07:19] – [10:26]

• Struggles with "Perfection":
  Ego and Tituss bond over resisting the entertainment industry's pressure to seem perfect.

  • Tituss: "That’s the problem with entertainment, we try to make everything look perfect, and I think it trickles down into daily life. That’s unrealistic." ([07:24])

• Directness vs. Cruelty:
  They reflect on the difference between being direct and being cruel—how frankness is often misinterpreted.

  • Tituss: "Now we’ve returned to a more frank environment, but it’s frank in the name of cruelty, not clarity, and that is disappointing." ([09:17])

• Both discuss growing up amid blunt communication and now feeling misunderstood for that same style outside their communities.

2. Family Dynamics & The Meaning of "Dad"

Timestamp: [11:00] – [15:27]

• Tituss’s Childhood:
  Raised in rural Georgia, Tituss lived on a farm with his single mother and grandparents.

  • Felt closer to his grandparents than to his biological father, who lived nearby but was largely absent.

• Traumatic Memory:
  Tituss recalls witnessing his biological father's violence towards his mother; an event never discussed but always remembered.

  • Tituss: "He knocked down the door and started to choke her...I just sat there frozen." ([16:16])

• Evolving Relationships:
  The trauma complicated his sense of fatherhood, leading Tituss to refer to his biological father as a "sperm donor", and his stepdad as "dad".

3. Identity and Self-Acceptance

Timestamp: [18:25] – [19:37]

• Ego’s Heritage:
  She openly claims her identity: African American, Nigerian-American, and first-generation Nigerian.
  • Ego: "No part of me wants to deny any part of my identity...I’m all of these things at once." ([19:00])
• Discussion on name meanings, family, and growing into one's given name.

4. The Experience of Being Highly Sensitive

Timestamp: [25:03] – [27:52]

• Highly Sensitive Person (HSP):
  Tituss describes the revelation of identifying as an HSP, triggered by a former partner’s (Pablo's) introduction of the term.

  • Sensitivity to energy; difficulty distinguishing between one’s own emotions and others’.
  • The realization led to the end of his 10-year relationship.
  • Tituss: "There’s a percentage of people who are overstimulated, empathic to a fault, can’t always tell what’s their own energy or inherited." ([25:47])

• Ego relates, mentioning her dislike of sleepovers and need for energetic clarity in her own space.

5. Faith & Spirituality

Timestamp: [29:00] – [30:54], [39:13] – [41:13]

• Astrology and the Church:
  Tituss discusses having both a spiritual guide and an astrologer, seeing no conflict with his Christian faith.
  • Tituss: "God made the stars, God made the moon. They did everything...If they’re in me, are they not a they?" ([39:24])
  • Views multiple spiritual resources as ways to access deeper self-understanding.

6. Intimacy, Partnership, and Personal Space

Timestamp: [42:49] – [46:12]

• Shifting Views on Partnership:
  Now single, Tituss expresses a deep desire for meaningful partnership, someone to care for—but on his own terms.

  • Tituss: "I desperately am desirous of being a wife...My insatiable desire to take care of people."
  • Values energy preservation, struggles with being the "center of attention," and feels misunderstood for being reclusive yet a public figure.

• Boundaries in Relationships:
  Tituss shares that true partnership means not feeling depleted or obligated to change for another; seeks "peace" and an equal yoking.

  • Tituss: "When you’re with the person, you’re not searching for your peace. It is just there...That’s the energy I want in a partner." ([46:30])

• Recent Date Story:
  He describes a recent date, noting he felt comfortable enough to do work during it and slept separately for comfort.

  • "If we were together, you wouldn’t not be doing what you need...let me see it." (date's words to Tituss, [47:37])
  • Conversation about sleep temperature quirks—Tituss prefers an icy 61°F.

7. Navigating Fame and Public Perception

Timestamp: [21:05] – [22:34]

• Tituss and Ego both share discomfort with attention; though they can perform for an audience, they don’t crave the spotlight.
  • Tituss: "Don’t confuse me being the lead of a show with wanting my whole walk in life to look like that." ([22:12])

8. Legacy, Parenting & Artistic Impact

Timestamp: [58:17] – [60:16]

• On Having Children:
  Tituss is clear he does not want kids, citing personal boundaries and societal conditions.
  • He feels his legacy is through his art and the truth he shares publicly.
  • Tituss: "My children is art...That I feel a paternal instinct about." ([59:19], [59:27])

9. Advice Segment: Self-Care & Making Friends

Timestamp: [60:25] – [64:43]

• Advice to Ego on Burnout:

  • Tituss: "Even if it’s a big money grab or family needs you, if you’re not taking care of this one thing [yourself], you’ve offered energy into these other things that is murky." ([61:49])
  • "No" is a complete sentence—prioritize your peace so you can show up fully elsewhere.

• Listener Question – Making Friends at College:

  • Both encourage leaning into personal interests to find genuine connections.
  • Ego: "Meet like-minded people that way...that’s a good barometer for whether you’d be friends naturally." ([64:27])

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

On Directness & Honesty:

• Tituss: "My body started responding to stimuli differently and to people’s influence differently...I call it brutally honest, but most of the world operates in these strange niceties." ([07:49])

• Ego: "Some people conflate frankness and directness with cruelty, but my intent is to be direct and efficient." ([09:43])

On Family & Acceptance:

• Tituss: "My sperm donor lived about 12 minutes away from my mom and I my entire life...Not great with money. Didn’t like to pay child support." ([15:38])

• Ego: "No part of me wants to deny any part of my identity...so I don’t resonate with the distinction for myself. I’m all these things." ([19:00])

On Being Highly Sensitive:

• Tituss: "To be a highly sensitive person—there are people who are so empathic, you absorb everybody’s stuff, can’t tell what’s yours or not." ([25:47])

On Legacy and Artistry:

• Tituss: "My children is art...What I can leave behind that will go on after I leave here is what part of my mind I let be recorded." ([59:19], [59:27])

Closing Wisdom:

• Tituss: "No is a complete sentence." ([62:36])

---

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Frankness, Perfection, and Bluntness: [07:19]–[10:26]
• Family History, Parental Roles: [11:00]–[16:00]
• Trauma with Father: [16:16]–[17:05]
• African/Black Identity: [18:25]–[19:44]
• Highly Sensitive Person & Dating: [25:03]–[27:52]
• Faith and Astrology: [29:00]–[41:13]
• On Fame & Attention: [21:05]–[22:34]
• Desire for Partnership: [42:49]–[46:12]
• Rejecting Father’s Reconnection Attempts: [54:01]–[56:53]
• On Not Having Kids, Legacy: [58:17]–[60:16]
• Advice Section (Self-care, Boundaries): [60:25]–[62:36]
• Listener Advice: Making Friends: [63:05]–[64:40]

---

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode balances deep emotional honesty with frequent humor and playful banter. Both Ego and Tituss approach difficult topics—family trauma, boundaries, self-doubt—with vulnerability but refuse self-pity, searching instead for clarity, connection, and authentic joy. Laughter punctuates confessions, and sage advice is delivered with warmth.

---

For Listeners...

If you’ve ever tried to find your place, struggled with family ties, redefined legacy, or simply wanted permission to claim your peace in a busy world, this episode resonates. Both hosts model self-respect, forgiveness, and the power of frank, loving boundaries.

---

End of Summary.

Transcript

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

Guaranteed Human.

So let me get this straight. Your company has data here, there and everywhere, but your AI can't use the data because it's here, there and everywhere? Seems like something's missing. Every business has unique data. IBM helps your AI access your data wherever it lives. To change how you do business.

Let'S create Smile to Business IBM.

[A]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line.

[B]

But first.

There the last one.

Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[A]

Making the holidays magical for everyone on your list. It's no small feat, but with TJ Maxx, your magic multiplies with quality finds. Arriving daily through Christmas Eve, you'll save on luxe cashmere, the latest tech toys and more. So you can check off every name on your list and treat yourself to a holiday look that'll turn heads. Now you know where to go to make all that holiday magic. It's TJ Maxx. Of course. It's shaping up to be a very magical holiday.

[B]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half the price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer.

[A]

Offer for first three months only.

[B]

Speed slower, 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. The holiday season can be exhausting with all the parties and the end of year celebrations. But don't forget to take care of yourself by stocking up on your favorite nutritional products. Now through December 30, shop in store and online and save on items like Cliff Snack Bars, Luna Bars, Boost Nutritional Energy Drinks, Premier Protein Shakes, Z Bar Variety Packs, Open Nature Powder and Body Fortress Protein powder offers end December 30th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[A]

I'm trying to figure out. Hi. First of all, hi. I'm trying to figure out what is going on for a person when you say, hey, where are you from? And they go all over. And I understand some people do move a lot as kids and as young people. I totally get that. That makes perfect sense to me. But I'm sort of like shorthand. Think fast. Where Are you from, like, where. Where are you from? It could be you lived in North Carolina and then you moved to Massachusetts when you were older. I don't know. But you know, where are you from? But people seem to dodge that question. Not always, but every once in a while people dodge that question. And this isn't about, like, xenophobia. We might cut that out. I don't know. I'm just. In case you're thinking that. I just mean, it's just interesting. You guys know those people where you go, where are you from? And they go all over. And I'm like, yeah, but, like, just say a place. Where'd you go to high school? Maybe I should change the question. Maybe I'm the problem. It's. It's me. I should say, where did you go to high school? But don't tell me the school, because I don't know high schools offhand. But, like, what city was your high school in? That's what I'll do. But I am really curious about the people in their whole. I'm from all over. And I'm like, why are you making me probe you like this? Maybe you're like, stop asking questions. Say that to me instead. But I'm from all over. I'm like, I guess I'll ask a follow up. Where'd you go to high school? What city? I'll start with that next time. Anyway, just thinking about these interactions I have with people, and I'm like, what? Hey, just say a place, but also do what you want, and I'll change my question and I'll see how it works and I'll report back. People, so happy you're listening to this episode. So happy you're here. I cannot wait to be speaking with Titus Burgess in just a little bit. It's. I bet it's gonna be good. I'm excited. So watch this. As I do that.

We need to do an introduction.

[B]

Okay, baby.

[A]

I want to address something first that you might be wondering. You even acknowledged it initially about my beat.

[B]

You look great.

[A]

Thank you so much. It's a beat. It's a beat down.

[B]

Are you not normally disappointed I've been assaulted?

[A]

No, no, no. I'm going to an event later tonight, and I didn't want to have to sit and glam.

[B]

So you back?

[A]

Exactly. And so I'm actually made up for event, but also for you.

[B]

Oh, no. Come on.

[A]

I wasn't coming on here. No makeup on with Titus.

[B]

Listen, you look beautiful either way.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

The degrees of beat don't matter.

[A]

Sometimes you could get from my face. You get beat in such a fashion that it becomes a problem. Like, and not in a.

[B]

Like, like coffin ready beat.

[A]

Yeah. Like, oh, put her in a. Yeah, put her in a seat under. Cause it's doing too much. Thank you.

[B]

You are welcome.

[A]

I just wanted to acknowledge. Cause it's giving contour. It's giving smok. Giving everything.

[B]

Baby, you look great. And also, I'm not crying. I'm just. My allergies are like really doing another thing. Because I was gonna ask for the past week, like, I walk outside and just like, I can't stop the tears. So Allegra, Claritin. And those are laughing at me. Like.

[A]

And now I can't. You know, Zyrtec is one of our sponsors and so now we can't. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I take a Zyrtec every day.

[B]

Does that work?

[A]

Hard to say. I even got allergy shots at one point. So this little segment is for the allergy community.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

I take Zyrtec every day. I do Flonase every day. And I got allergy shots, but they were kind of. I thought they worked. And then.

[B]

Is it because we live in such an unsanitary environment?

[A]

Potentially, yes. I think there's a lot of debris to irritate our interiors. Does that sound like an official doctor Debris to irritate our interior? Thank you so much. All right, you'll go to talk to the nurse and then come back. I need to do an intro for you.

[B]

All right, sister.

[A]

All right. My next guest is a six time Emmy nominated actor and singer. You've seen him recently as Mary Todd Lincoln in the Tony award winning play O Mary, Songs for a New World and the Cat in the hat. Out in November 2026. That's coming out soon. Titus Burgess, should I correct you now?

[B]

It didn't win the Tony.

[A]

Okay, so it was nominated.

[B]

Pulitzer prize nominated. It was nominated, though.

[A]

Okay, whoever wrote this. I'm kidding. I'm getting me going. Okay, whoever to share that. Felicia, we gotta be fired.

[B]

Someone else get fired.

[A]

Someone's listening job. Okay. No, we're not rejoicing in people's pain. Somebody wrote this, though. This is a setup. And this is another. It's a hit job.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

It's all right.

[B]

It's all right.

[A]

I'm gonna do it again.

[B]

Okay, baby?

[A]

And they should keep that in because I want people to know this is not perfect.

[B]

Hey, listen, listen. It's all right.

[A]

That's the problem with entertainment is we try to make everything look perfect.

[B]

So in my opinion, one trickles down into real life.

[A]

Yes. And you're like, everything's got to look and feel perfect, but.

[B]

And you don't even realize that you're operating into that governance on autopilot. But that is our day to day and it is unrealistic.

[A]

How, when have, did you realize you were operating in that way?

[B]

Oh dear, let's see. Perhaps around 40.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

My body started responding to stimuli differently and to people's influence differently. And I began to have this knee jerk reaction to being, well, I call it brutally honest, but I'll just say honest because people take it as brutality because most of the world operates in these strange niceties.

[A]

Oh, talk to me about it and let's talk about the difference between nice and kind.

[B]

I don't know what to do with that.

[A]

I know, I don't either. So we're family.

[B]

Be frank. Yes, by all means, yes. You know, I know what to do. I grew up in a family that they were blunt and we just said what you meant, said what we meant. And there was no filter and there was no buffer, no cushion, no softening the blow. And eventually that became comforting.

[A]

It's familiarity, it's how you were raised. And it's like, this is what I know.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And so this is now how I operate 1,000%. And now that I'm in a world outside of this community, it's being received a different way. Right.

[B]

And even when I got to New York, I thought it was going to be, pardon me, I thought it would resemble the way I grew up, but. But I realized the how to articulate it. The influence of PC culture had done a number on New York City culture. It made its way here, it made its way here. And you know, I was searching for, you know, the fuck off.

[A]

You know, you're like, where's my fucking.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, no, fuck you. But. And now what I feel has happened is that PC culture is gone and political culture has influenced our day to day culture. And now we have returned to a more frank environment. But it's frank in the name of cruelty and not frank in the name of me being clear about what my intentions are with you. And that is disappointing.

[A]

It's. That's tough to navigate, I feel like. And I, it's interesting that I, some people conflate that frankness and directness with cruelty just inherently, but it's like, oh no, my intent is to be direct with you and to be efficient and make sure you're understanding What? I'm communicating. Absolutely. And so that you're not like waffling and unclear about what it is I'm trying to say to you. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm just here to communicate because.

[B]

TikTok.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think the thing that I want most out of life is not to waste time because there's so little of it. And if the closest route is or if the way to bridge the gap is to be frank, then that's what I'm gonna do and I want you to do with me because I don't want you to waste time. Yeah, you got shit to do.

[A]

And I do have shit to do. And it's do an intro to a gala tonight. No, go to a gala tonight. But first I need to intro you again. And we have to also see to it that whoever wrote this initially has to be fired tonight. You.

Who wrote this? I'm kidding. Ok. My next guest is an Emmy nominated actor and singer. You've seen him recently as Mary Todd Lincoln in the Tony nominated play O Mary Songs for a New World. The Cat in The Hat out November 2026. Titus Burgess.

[B]

Hey. Thank you.

[A]

How did we do, baby?

[B]

We're doing so good.

[A]

Fact checked.

[B]

So good.

[A]

And we're good. Okay. Okay. So now you grew up in Georgia.

[B]

That's correct.

[A]

Right. So people were being frank in Georgia. That is interesting to me because I equate like the southern hospitality with a little bit of the niceties.

[B]

That is more of a white people thing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Black people didn't have time for that. And I'm not talking like I grew up in the civil rights era, because I didn't. But you know, I, my, I grew up in the sticks in a town called Lexington, Georgia. And all of the.

Diggings people see Athens, Georgia, and that's where I went to school and my parents are still there and all that stuff. But I grew up on a farm.

We raised chickens, hogs, lambs.

[A]

Chickens, hogs.

[B]

And I love farm life. My mom and I lived with my grandparents, her. Her mom and dad. And it's funny stories. My mother, I thought she was my sister because from birth to about seven years old, I heard her call my grandmother mom.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

So I called grandma mom.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And so when my mom. I'll never forget this about. Oh, I was six years old, I forget what I had done. I'm an only child. And, and also Pisces that we can get into.

[A]

Oh, I'm a Pisces too.

Pisces. Feelings.

[B]

Feelings everywhere.

[A]

Every direction Pretending not to cry and think it's allergies, but it's actually tears.

He's emotional today. That's Pisces shit right there. It's my allergies, but we can't not be. I feel everything deeply.

[B]

Yeah. And you have to report on it.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Like, I'm like, if I don't get this out the way.

[A]

Oh, yeah. My sister's like, you're so verbose. You need to talk things out and talk it through, don't you? And she's like, no, I process internally. She goes, you're an external processor. I'm an internal processor. And I'm like, you should be an external processor like me.

[B]

It gets things out. Like, I don't know how else to be. I've even tell people that I date, which. Okay. I also talk. Well, you understand.

[A]

I know, because we talk the same way. This is gonna be a chaotic episode. We did the intro five minutes into the conversation, so blame it on astrology today. So, wait, this thing happened. I'm gonna. I'll the dating, but six years old. A thing happened when you were six? Pisces.

[B]

Yep. My mom tried to reprimand me, and she was giving me a little spanking, and I said, I'm gonna tell my mama. And she. Oh, why did I do that? She looked at me and she said, what? And I said, I'm gonna tell my mama. And she goes, I am your mama. And then she just took a beat. And I could see the whole scene. I could see her recalibrate in real time. And I swear to God, I go. The next week, my mom had an apartment in Athens, Georgia, and we had moved out.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. Because she knew she. Oh, he doesn't understand the dynamics.

[B]

He doesn't understand the dynamics.

[A]

It's like being like, can I speak to the manager and the person. Like, I am the manager.

[B]

Exactly. That's exactly right.

[A]

Wow. And so I need to now be presenting my.

[B]

I was devastated because I thought I had been ripped away from my parents. And it took about.

A year and a half or so. Well, you should also know that every summer.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Since I was an only child, every summer up until I was in high school, old enough to stay at home on my own, I would go and live with my grandparents because my mom worked a nine to five and she wasn't. I couldn't, you know, take care of myself. She didn't want to pawn me off on her sisters or brother. She rarely let me spend the night with anyone else. And so I Would spend the night with my grandparents. And so I had this relationship with them that is deeper than the other. You know, 40 of my first cousins had. And I'm not joking. I have, like, 40 first cousins. 40 first cousins.

[A]

How many siblings did your mom have?

[B]

She had three sisters and four brothers.

[A]

Okay, and then are you including cousins on your dad's side also when you say, oh, no, my dad's dead.

[B]

No, he's very much alive.

[A]

He's alive, but dead to you. Okay, it's. Thanks, Dad. I also want to interrupt this regularly scheduled programming to say not only are Titus and I both Pisces, we're both wearing white shirts.

[B]

We didn't.

[A]

What does it mean?

[B]

What does it mean? It means transparency. It means clarity.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we're gonna be transparent here. We're gonna be frank on this one. My dad.

[B]

Okay, tell me, what's my biological father?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

My sperm donor lived.

About 12 minutes away from my mom and I my entire life. And he has a son, another son who's older than I am, who was in and out of jail. My dad was not great with money. Didn't like to pay child support. I remember this one event.

Where he knocked down we. This was in our. My mom's and I's first apartment. Knocked down the door.

And started to choke her.

Because she had called him.

Asking about child support. We had just moved. She needed the additional support. And the phone conversation escalates, escalated. Escalated. And then about 10 minutes later.

And. And I just sat there frozen, because I didn't quite know what to do. And what was I gonna do?

[A]

Yeah, you were seven. Ish. Right. Okay, seven. Right.

[B]

My mom and I have never talked about this, and my dad and I have never spoken about this, but I remember.

[A]

You remember. And so how did that de. Escalate? How did that situation end?

[B]

My mom got asking for air, and my dad sort of. He's not my father. My stepdad is my dad. My biological father.

Sort of realizing, coming to his senses, that this is enough. And I was screaming, and I think the terror in me must have gotten somewhere inside whatever's left of his paternal instinct to say, oh, this is scary. I should stop. Anyways.

You know, this type of frankness has only happened with. I'm gonna forget his name.

[A]

Marc Maron. Yes. What the f. Now his podcast is done, so maybe this can be.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Fill the void.

[B]

It started before I even realized we were starting.

[A]

I know what you said we were talking about. I do that. Do you think my eye contact is intense?

[B]

No, I Don't. It is intense, but it feels familiar to me, so it doesn't scare me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I only know. I don't know how to talk about the weather.

[A]

Me either, though. That's why I have a podcast like this. Like, I do comedy, but I'm like, let's be for real.

[B]

What do you make of your. Okay, so you're comedy has such an interesting subtextual energy to it, and I love it. Thank you. Thank you. It is fueled with honesty and just a shred of the truth. Enough that it's funny because it's true. Right. And the way you represent the different sects of African American culture, which you are not African American. Correct.

[A]

I am African American.

[B]

Do you consider yourself African American?

[A]

I am African American.

[B]

But you're of African descent.

[A]

I'm first generation Nigerian, but I grew up, born and raised in Baltimore.

[B]

Oh, great.

[A]

But I am African American, truly.

[B]

Because I know a lot of Africans get real hurt when you.

[A]

Some of them do.

[B]

What is that about?

[A]

You know, I can't speak to their experience, but I'm not. I genuinely am not them. I'm a black woman. Check. Proud of that. African American woman. Check. Proud of that. First generation Nigerian woman. Check. Proud of that. Like, so I don't relate to the part that no part of me wants to deny any part of my identity.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm, like, very proud to be all of them.

[B]

So perhaps maybe that is what they are experiencing when they have such a strong response to being lumped in with.

[A]

Yeah. People. Yeah. I don't. I mean, you are. I'm like, there's no lumping. I'm like, I'm all of these things. I'm all of these things at once. And I. I don't. They just don't resonate with much of the distinction for myself. I'm just sort of like, I am all of the things.

[B]

Right.

[A]

When you're like, you're African American, I'm like, literally, yeah, African American, Nigerian American. But I don't feel the need to be like. But I'm. I'm this. I'm only. I only want to be seen as this. I'm like, I'm all these things. Nigerian parents born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland.

[B]

Like, how can you go back to Nigeria?

[A]

I haven't been back to Nigeria since I was 19. It's been a long time. And I'm what, 23?

[B]

You have a lot of family?

[A]

I'm 20. Yeah. I'm not 23, but I do have a lot of family there. Thank you. I Was hoping you would say. I do have. Some of my mom's siblings are there.

[B]

Do you talk to them? Do you?

[A]

I talk to my aunts and uncles. Yeah. Some of them are in Jersey, some are in England. My cousin is a famous soccer player for Arsenal. My mom's sister. Is he hot?

[B]

Is that weird to say?

[A]

I can't say that about my cousin. He's a handsome young man, but they're like. He and his brothers are just, like, upstanding young men that make me really, truly excited and hopeful, if you will, for the future. Future young men. I'm like, they're just such lovely and wise individuals, and they're younger than I am, and I'm like, I love talking to them.

[B]

And do you think that's a familial influence that are all. Y' all are just. Just natural born intuitive thinkers and do gooders in the world?

[A]

I don't know if everyone is, but I think a lot of my. My. My siblings, my cousins, I think are. But I'm deeply impressed with these British boys.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I genuinely am. Like, they just are deeply, deeply impressive to me. But, Titus, I feel like people quite literally don't give a What's going on with me. No, I don't understand. No. Because it's the Titus Burgess episode, so I'm like, you know what I mean? But you're doing what I do. Because I'm like, well, I'll help you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I have a couple more questions. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not. We are dancing.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

We're dancing. And it's not salsa. There's no leader.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's something else.

[B]

So I'll tell you something else. I don't know if you have this. I have great difficulty being the center of attention.

[A]

I do have it. I know that's strange to be like, oh, and I have a podcast, and I'm a performer. But you relate. And they're like, no, I get very, like, don't look at me. And then also people perceive it as, like, a different thing, like, attitude. And I'm like, it's actually a little angst. Oh, my God, it's a little angst.

[B]

One more time. Yeah. People. People misconstrue. A natural. What's the word? Introvert. All right, so while we are external processors, we are natural introverts, and I am a natural born recluse. I don't need a lot of outside simulation, nor do I want it, nor do I want a lot of attention. Now, the difference is, we know how to handle the attention when it.

[A]

And I only do sometimes, but.

[B]

Yes, well, but what I mean is when. Don't confuse me being the lead of a show or having me my own podcast or anything with my name on it. I'm number one on the call sheet with me wanting to. For my walk in life to look like that.

[A]

And that's actually a word and a sermon right now that you are. That's true. I do resonate with that. That is completely. That feels very accurate to me. So you are not necessarily interested in being center of attention when people give you compliments, are you like it?

[B]

Because that means they love me. If they didn't pay attention, I'd be fucked.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I don't seek it out, and I just don't need it. That is not what fuels me. That's not what. I don't like to go to parties. I don't enjoy the red carpet. I don't care to give quick sound. And I hate going on TV shows because I'm not funny the way.

[A]

Are you mad to be here right now?

You heard it. Okay.

[B]

No. By the way, because I. Because long form, I know what to do with.

[A]

Right, Right. Also, I didn't actually think you hated it. I just was like, it would be. Might mean it'd be funny if you did say, I'm not happy to be here with you.

[B]

No, this is different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, this is different. I don't feel the pressure to be on.

[A]

Yes. I'm so glad. And I don't want. I want the. I want the real Titus. I relate to so much of what you're saying. I really. I feel it. I'm feeling it so much now. You said you don't want to go to parties. You don't like doing the red carpet. Red carpet is really int. And people don't talk enough about. It's not. It's one thing.

[B]

So you get to dress up. And I'm like, look at me. You think I want to put on a fucking suit?

[A]

Well, also, the reason I have a full beat on like to the gods right now is because I'm like, I don't want to sit for this again later. I'm like, one done. Let it be done. And so I have a thing to go to five hours from now. And I'm like, do it in a way where I can have it five hours from now, not have to sit again. Because I also. I don't. I don't want to say I hate sitting for glam, but it's like it starts. It becomes a whole production to show up to one red carpet for one second. And it's. And it's like, you better nail it and you better nail that pose and you better get the right.

[B]

It is the output of energy, or rather the conservation and desire for preservation of energy that is so intrinsically a part of who we are, that participating in something, even just sitting there is giving energy.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

And I. If I got to go do this thing, then I need you to make this as fast as possible because I'm.

[A]

Like, I'm using so much energy here, here, here. The energy budget. There's never enough. There's never. There's never enough hours in the day. Yeah, it's a song. Someone sent me a song called Energy Budget. And one day this woman is declaring various, various things about her energy budget and what she doesn't have time for. It's more. It's a song.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

She's actually just talking and it's mantras. It feels like, I love it. I'll send it to you so you can. But you don't like going out. You don't like doing that whole thing. Dating. You were going to say something about you being an external processor, how that impacts your dating.

[B]

Right. So I think I need to get like. I think I need to ask my astrologist to do my chart again to tell me what I'm most compatible with. Because.

You know, my. So I was just. I was in a 10 year relationship that ended four years ago. He and I are best friends, he's family. And Pablo taught me so much about myself.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so I helped Pablo go to school. Pablo went to school for psychology. Papa brought me this book called hsp. Highly Sensitive People. And. And that acronym is a bit of an over simplification of what the actual condition is. And it. Basically, there's a percentage of the like 20 of the population and medical experts are divided on whether or not this is a real thing or not. But there's a percentage of the population that.

Is overstimulated, that processes a lot of information at once and are natural empaths. And to. To a fault where you can't determine decipher what energy is yours and what has been deposited or inherited without your conscious. I accept this as my own or not my own. And one of the things that occurred while we were together was the more I realized what was happening, the more I realized that he and I were not compatible. And it was almost like Pablo had. He gave you the book to leave him.

[A]

Oh wow. He had no idea. No. Okay, what did you read in the book that made you be like, I can't be with Pablo anymore?

[B]

No, I read the whole book and it was a slow gestation of this is who I am has nothing less to do with Pablo and who I, who I, thanks to him, had realized I always was and am now becoming more of. And that is the ability to fight for myself, speak up for myself, say out loud, I can't be here and not just roll over and take it. Because we are. We put other people's feelings and needs before our own. Even to say, pablo, I can't sleep. Would you do not immediately have sex? I mean, like, I had to. I had to go be in a bed by myself. Because even at rest, that is an exchange of energy when you are in the same space with someone and it is so important, which is why you want your beat five hours before in a way, because sitting in that chair is absorbing the energy of the person who is doing it.

[A]

Wait, Titus, am I an hsp, do you think? I think you might be not me discovering I'm an hsp.

[B]

Come on, I'll give you a.

[A]

Because also, I don't like sleepovers. I don't like sleepovers at all. I like, I need to wake up in my bed. I need to. I don't care if I'm getting home at 7am Someone be like, just stay here. I'm like, I have to wake up in my bed.

[B]

It's not about sanitation and turning germs. It's sanitizing. It is wanting not to have to sanitize the energy of a space that you are not.

[A]

Wait, why do I legitimately. I need the book. I need the book. And mind you, when you said you have an astrologer, I have been known to say that I don't like. I'll shout out that I'm a Pisces all the time. And then I'll be like, I don't really believe it. Astrology, Fun. Heheha. I like to read the horoscopes. If I see a moon omens on Instagram or something, or astrology or co star, I'm like, I want to read it. I want to see if this applies. So I'm not like a hard. No, but it's like a thing that's like playful for me, but for you, you have an astrologer. When did you start to get into astrology? And what was that journey for you?

[B]

Well, I've always read people's horoscopes and such. And they always seemed rather accurate. And I would read more than one person's recanting of a particular sign on a particular day to cross reference and figure out if any of this has any merit to it. I don't do this often. I do it like once a year where I get to read my chart or whatever. And I also have a spiritual guide. Her name is Joya. And she. People are like, what is going on with that?

[A]

He's a Pisces. He's crying. He's got a spiritual guide, an astrologer.

[B]

I need it.

[A]

And I have my pastor, and you have a pastor.

[B]

Her name is Dr. Jackie Lewis. Dr. Jackie Lewis Middle Collegiate Church in Down in the Lower east side.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All these people, because they all offer different things. You know, you have your pediatrician, you have your gynecologist, you have your. They're all doctors, but they're all different. And so.

[A]

But if you have a pediatrician, you don't have a gyno, because you. I'll just say, but you might have your internal medicine physician and your gyno.

[B]

And so.

The astrologer, she did my chart, and I was just blown away at the accuracy. And she goes, don't tell me anything else about you. And I gave her my middle name so she couldn't look me up or anything like that.

[A]

Can I ask what it is? Or is that you, Lamont?

[B]

My mom got Titus from the Bible.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Titus is the shortest book in the Bible.

[A]

It is, yes. Yes. Okay.

[B]

And Lamont from San Fernando. So that tells you a lot about.

[A]

Okay. Did she go with Titus because she liked the name or because she liked that it was the shortest book in the Bible?

[B]

I think she liked the name. And then, you know. Do you believe people grow into a name?

[A]

I do, because I grew into ego.

[B]

What does ego mean?

[A]

Ego, literally. In Igbo, which is. My name is. Igbo means money. My family is part of a tribe called the Eche People. It's a small tribe, but my name is Igbo.

[B]

And that's the currency in the tribe.

[A]

It means. Well, no, Igbo means money. The word Igbo means money. And then my full name is Egobun, which means money is good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Interesting work, but not work. I. I actually was like, why is this? Why? I don't. I. I don't want to have a name. That's like celebrating money. But then my mom would tell me, my child is my.

[B]

Well, that makes us.

[A]

Money is not inherently bad. It's the love of money.

[B]

Love of money.

[A]

And people forget that, don't they? Forget that? The love of money. But I'm like, I don't need to celebrate money anyway. Point is ego of it all. I I people calling me Ego when I was younger and be like Freud or Lego my ego. Very much a big marketing campaign happening during my childhood. So I dealt with a lot of Lego my ego.

[B]

How did you do Wonder Woman braceleted?

[A]

Because I came home and I was like, they're making fun of my name. And my aunt was like, you go out there and you make fun of them right back. And that's what I did. And then there was a period in middle school where people would be like, you know, I went to elementary school with a lot of the same people went to middle school. Then it became a hodgepodge of people from other elementary schools and people meet me and be like, oh, Lego my ego. I'd go, no work. Yeah, and it worked. Every time.

I'm like, I've heard that before. And I'll say to people, I go, oh my God, I never heard that.

[B]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. The holiday season can be exhausting with all the parties and the end of year celebrations, but don't forget to take care of yourself by stocking up on on your favorite nutritional products. Now through December 30th. Shop in store and online and save on items like Cliff Snack Bars, Luna Bars, Boost Nutritional Energy Drinks, Premier Protein Shakes, Z bar variety packs, open nature powder and body fortress protein powder offers end December 30th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[A]

This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores Automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] iheart.

[B]

Hey everyone, Ed Helms here and hi, I'm Cal Pen and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a Trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

You know what?

[A]

I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.

[B]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that, but are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here.

Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[A]

Making the holidays magical for everyone on your list. It's no small feat, but with TJ Maxx, your magic multiplies. With quality finds arriving daily through Christmas Eve, you'll save on luxe cashmere, the latest tech toys, and more. So you can check off every name.

[B]

On your list and treat yourself to.

[A]

A holiday look that'll turn heads. Now you know where to go to make all that holiday magic. It's TJ Maxx, of course. It's shaping up to be a very magical holiday.

[B]

Attention parents and grandparents. If you're looking for a gift that's more than just a toy, give them something that inspires confidence and adventure all year long. Give them a Guardian bike, the easiest, safest and number one kids bike on the market. With USA made kid specific frames and patented safety technology, kids are learning to ride in just one day. Day. No training wheels needed. It's why Guardian is America's favorite kids bike and the New York Times and Wirecutter's top pick three years in a row. This holiday season, Guardian is offering their biggest deal of the year. Up to 40% in savings on all bikes, plus $100 in free accessories. Guardian bikes have become the most sought after gifts of the season. And inventory is going fast. So don't wait. Join over half a million happy families who've discovered the magic of Guardian. Shop [e-mail] that's guardianbikes.com.

[A]

You grew into your name.

[B]

Oh, right. My mom chose it. Right. So Titus was an apprentice to the apostle Paul. Paul left Titus on the island of Crete to spread the good word. And Titus means little warrior.

[A]

And.

It means the warrior. L'. Warrior.

[B]

I said little, but it means the warrior.

[A]

Okay, you said it like a Baltimore person. Because they said lol.

[B]

Lol. Lol.

[A]

L O R. That's little, but okay. But okay. It was the war.

[B]

It was warrior. And. And I have often felt like I was leading the charge on the misunderstood.

I even still feel that way. Nothing fills me with rage then. Today that means to walk around full of rage all the time. But nothing fills me with rage more than people being misunderstood. Not seeing da Da, da. And that's such that. That also is so heavily used that it might not carry the weight that it should. But, you know, we walk in a world where now people are seeking out to misunderstand people to prevent.

The.

Bridging of the gap, as I said when we first sat down, because my desire is to be frank and honest. And so I don't know that my mom did all of that research to choose my name, but I feel like once I realized that that was my. Because I had the same thing. They called me Titus. I mean, Tyler. They would call me Tito, Tiger, Tight ass. Which, you know, I grew into that, too.

[A]

Okay, look at you go. What was your workout? What's your workout?

[B]

I have a trainer, so I have a squat.

[A]

Okay. Of course. Barbell, back squat.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

You gotta grow the glutes.

But okay.

[B]

But as a kid, that wasn't fun, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so. But I grew into it and I now own it. So that's why.

[A]

That's how I feel about ego. When I was 18, I moved across the country from Baltimore to LA for college. And then there's. My mom at one point was like, if you don't like your name so much, you can start going by your middle name. And then I was like, no, I have earned the badge of ego. I've lived with this, like, during the hardest time to have the name Aigo, I feel. But the Lego, my ego marketing campaign as a child, I'm like, I earned this. I'm ego now. I will not go to LA and be like, I'm a different name. Which once I got to LA for college, there were so many people in my freshman class that I knew in the little group that I knew who were going by their middle names. They had, like, made the switch. People who moved from New York or elsewhere was like, why do people do that?

[B]

Especially when you go to a place where no one already knows you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it just so you can walk in with a different identity?

[A]

I think that's so. I think it is to walk in with a different identity. But it's interesting because by the time I was that age and had made the choice to move across the country, I feel like the person who made the move to move across the country and made that bold move was ago. So to go and show up and be like, and now my name is my middle name would feel crazy to me.

[B]

Why did you say no name?

[A]

Because I'm like, people are going to ask. And it's. I'm Not. I love my name. It's Kalechi. It's what my mom wanted to name me. My dad picked my name. You know, I interrogated her. What is Kechi Khi. Thank God.

[B]

Khechi.

[A]

Kalechi. Thank God. Chi God. Ke. Thanks. Thank you. Thanks. Maybe the podcast should be ke. Dad. Thanks, dad. Maybe we'll think about it. Titus, let's talk after you already did.

[B]

It and you just don't know.

[A]

I don't know. We have to do all the branding over again. Somebody. Can we get somebody on that? The person we fired about the intro.

[B]

Get him back.

[A]

Get him back. I need to redo the brand. I need him to redo the branding. Okay, so astrology, I do want to know if you. Your mom named you after a book of the Bible. You go to a church on the Lower east side, so you do have your own faith. So how did astrology get introduced? How did you meet this.

[B]

They're not in conflict with one another?

[A]

No, not at all. But not in my mind either. But how did it get introduced to you? Because 1. I feel like often people are like, I have this one thing, and this one thing in terms of spirituality is enough for me. I meditate, I do yoga.

[B]

God made the stars, God made the moon. They did everything I. They. Them.

[A]

They. Them. Okay, just. I mean, fair enough.

[B]

Because if they're in you, they're in me. Then are they not a day?

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[B]

Just a short answer.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I won't fight you on it.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I. I think that they offer so many resources to find them because they realize that we are such narrow minded thinkers and often we'll cut our nose off to spite our face. And so they widespread themselves.

So that there's a path to something that resonates with you, that you might be illuminated and vibrate on a much higher plane and you can walk around with that as the singular thing that is. But if you do that, you are bound. You are destined to run into all the other ways that they are here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You know, I. There's a book, I Love Barking to the Choir by Father Gregory Boyle. Do you know who that is?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

He is a priest. Who. I'm not Catholic, but he is a priest. I can read a book. I just think that people go, oh, so you're Catholic? When I say, I read this book, and I'm like, no, I'm just curious. I read all kinds of books. But he is a Catholic priest who runs the biggest gang rehabilitation program in the World in la. And in reading that book, I remember some quote, and I'm going to bastardize it slightly, but essentially he's like, there's nothing beyond the sanctity of God, which is in his point. In the little section I was reading, there was just like, we put God in boxes. We put God in boxes. We can understand. And God is so much bigger. And that resonates with me also.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, so, yeah, to your point, they're not in conflict. How did you find your astrologist? I don't need to keep driving home. I'm just, like, always so curious because I talked to a spiritual coach too, but I'm like, how did I get here?

[B]

My agent has a psychic and an astrologist. And I was like, let me do this astrologist first. Okay. And so I gave her my middle name. I gave her the time that I was born and the location.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And that was it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she went on a tear, and I learned things about. She revealed things about myself that I had long suspected, and she, you know, that sort of confirmed it. And now that I have put into practice some of the things that I learned that were lying dormant, I'm eager to do it again to. Now that I'm coming with a different energy, it's a different time. This is also, like, maybe like, last one was a year and a half ago.

[A]

So it's time.

[B]

It's time just to see. And I'm in pursuit of.

A different. I'm in pursuit of integrating the tightest I have become back into the world. I sort of retreated for a bit. It has nothing to do with work, just being a member of society. And.

I'm anxious to see how the world responds to him.

[A]

I'm hopeful.

[B]

I am too.

[A]

I'm hopeful. I really, really am. Now you've been in this recluse mode, sort of working on things. You broke up with Pablo four years ago.

[B]

Yes, I'm very single.

[A]

Yes. Is that so? When you were talking about not wanting to sleep with someone and, like, in the same bed because of the energy exchange, how are you in terms of dating now in this stage you're in? Are we single intentionally? Are you curious about partnership?

[B]

I'm very curious about partnership.

[A]

Okay. For.

[B]

Let me start with the big thing, and then I'll tell you about a date that I had two nights ago.

So I believe that I. I def. I. I desperately am desirous of being a wife.

[A]

You want to be a wife? Have you always wanted to be a wife?

[B]

No.

[A]

When did this happen in the. In the years you've been working?

[B]

In the years that I've been working on, I realized that my insatiable desire to take care of someone. I have an insatiable desire to take care of people.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can't help it. And even when I walk down the street, I have to not look people in the eye because I can see into your soul, and you can, too.

[A]

Yeah. And.

[B]

And. And I. And I.

[A]

And.

[B]

And. And people. You. You said something way, way earlier about people take. They mis. They misconstrue your. Not even retreating, but holding your energy close to your person as being egotistical or. Or. Or flippant or standoffish.

[A]

Bitchy. Yeah.

[B]

Right. And it's. And so I. You know, just in life, I'm like, oh, no. Because I will. I will connect myself with you in a way that I don't have time for or wish to, but once I make the connection, the connection's made and have to fall through with it anyway. So with partnership, I feel that I'm being called to do something else by them in the world. And. And that calling is going to force me to not participate in such frivolity.

[A]

Okay. And by frivolity, do we mean.

[B]

I mean, I love men.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And the door has revolved, you know, in my past, and I just want to slow the door down.

[A]

Okay. You're spinning the block.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I just.

[A]

We're revisiting Exis.

[B]

Yeah. I. I just kind of. And also, it's exhausting, you know?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I want the energy to be the temperature that I set that we decide on together. And I want, you know, more fur babies, and I want my good to not be evil. Spoken of, because you have to explain what you do in your private life as a celebrity that no one's going to. They remove that pass that you are human. They immediately want to know what's going on, you know, And. And I. While I can walk around, be like, oh, that's not your business. It'll get it.

[A]

It'll get out there.

[B]

It'll get out there.

[A]

Yeah. And so if you don't want somebody to know something, they're gonna make sure.

[B]

They figure it out.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so I just want. And let me. I don't want that for that reason, but I do realize that in my ask, there are things that I have to leave behind because you have to make room for new things. Right. And so that's part of it. And I'm. In the words of India, Ari, I'M quite. I'm ready for love. Come on. There's something that's risen up in me that I walk around with and I'm not searching for me as much as I was in the past. I feel found wherever I am and I feel founding out that I'm ready to share it with whoever you are.

[A]

And you don't worry that it will deplete you.

[B]

You. No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No. Because I now know, thanks to Pablo. Okay, what is a. What is properly being yoked equally yolked.

[A]

I just asked a friend this on a voice note, no joke, a week ago. What do you go on? I said, what is equally yolked mean.

[B]

To you when you are in the presence of the other person and you are not thinking.

You are not searching for your peace. It is just there. The same way God is just here. They don't need you to prove or disprove it. That love is before you and after you. And right now, that is the same energy I want in God in the flesh.

[A]

Peace.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

I see. Okay, I get it. I get it. I hear you. I have to know about this date.

[B]

Okay, well, you. This is harkening back to Pablo giving me that book and me going, oh, I gotta sleep by myself.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So we were in bed and it.

[A]

Was you and the guy on the date or you and Pablo. Okay. Okay.

[B]

And it was great. And he's wonderful and, you know, fine. I don't know that he's my forever person, but do you want us to.

[A]

What if he sees this?

[B]

I don't care. He. He is.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You're frank.

[B]

He is very mature.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And before the date started and we. We had food and we're watching tv, whatever. And I was answering a bunch of emails and stuff, and I kept apologizing because. Ty, just do your life. Like this is so embryonic.

[A]

Like, I don't.

[B]

And I'm in your space.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. If we were together, you wouldn't. You wouldn't not be doing what you need to do. So let me see it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Which was.

[A]

He could be your piece.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It was hot. He can be your piece.

[B]

But I get hot in the bed.

[A]

Okay. Temperature wise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So cuddling. You hate it.

[B]

I love cuddling.

[A]

But the notion. But then in practicality, in real practice.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So I got up like halfway through and I went and slept in the other room.

[A]

Titus.

[B]

What?

[A]

Somebody's gonna want to cuddle with your hot body.

[B]

Then the room is going to be ice cold.

[A]

What temperature do you sleep in your room?

[B]

61. And in the winter, I cracked the windows. Oh, sure did. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I just graduated, like, three years ago to 69.

[B]

That's too long.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. That. Who's gonna clip that? I just realized.

I know. 69 degrees.

[B]

Oh, Lord.

Oh, Lord. Can't go back now.

[A]

And they can't cut it because we fired the person. Oh, no, we hired them again.

[B]

Yeah, we hired them again.

[A]

Okay, so they're here. 69 degrees is my preferred temperature. Actually Fahrenheit, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

I'm talking about temperature in the bedroom. And I just graduated, and I have a hard time if it's. If it's hotter than that. But I used to be a person who was like, I need the room to be warm. Why would I ever have the air on in the winter? That was me. Why would I have the air on in the winter? Why would I have the air on in the middle of the night blowing.

[B]

On me like, I can't think in the heat.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Get away from me. Wow.

[A]

So you like the winter. Are you excited for winter coming?

[B]

I am excited.

[A]

I get. Get scared of winter.

[B]

Why? Tell me why. Because I don't like how it gets dark so soon.

[A]

That's the thing. And I'm a plant. And I genuinely need, like, light. And so even my apartment in. In New York, like, I think one of the two criteria I had was I need natural light. Like, it's. There's an abundance of natural light, and it is not gonna in any way be obstructed based on where my apartment faces. And I just like, I need. I can't. I get scared. Winter. I'm like, oh, Lord, my. I feel very Pisces in winter, though, where I'm like, I'm. I'm gonna be sad. Cause it's dark earlier. And as much as I am an introvert, I'm like, love to be an introvert in the summertime, but I love watching people bounce around. You get it?

[B]

I totally get it.

[A]

I'm like. But I'm loving the energy. I'm loving watching out my window.

[B]

And, like, I love being alone and. Well, you love being alone with everybody.

[A]

Yeah. One of my, like, one of the most comfortable times I've felt was being at a friend's apartment in la. We had, like, had a rehearsal for sketch and we went to his apartment and we were just. There was no agenda. It wasn't like, we're going to your apartment because we're going to go out. We're going to your apartment. We're planning to order this. We just were in his apartment, right? I had this real moment of clarity for myself where I was like, this is really nice. There's no agenda. And I'm on my laptop because I have something to do, much like you and your emails on the date. There was something that was requiring my attention on my laptop, and I was like, this feels like family. Like, I'm over here on my laptop. We don't have an agenda. There was no music playing. We were really just like, at his apartment. And I was like, I'm on my laptop. We've spent the day together. I feel easy breezy. Everyone's doing their thing. And then my friend at one point was like, what are you doing on the computer? And it snapped me out of it. And I was like, oh, it's not as comfy. It's not as comfy as I thought. But not the friend who owned the apartment. But it was a friend, another friend in the group. And I was like, oh, see? And I had told him. I was like, you kind of. We talked about it the next day.

[B]

I was like, you and the guy who owns the apartment.

[A]

Me and the guy who goes, what are you doing? Why are you on the laptop? I was like, you kind of snapped me out of this.

Zen space where I was like, oh, this feels like family. Like, I don't have to be on. And like, of course I'm gonna chime in in the conversation here or there. I'm gonna put the laptop away in a second. But, like, you were cognizant of what.

[B]

Was happening around, but you also felt safe to be doing what you were doing.

[A]

I feel like, yeah, I feel this is so nice. There's no expectation of me. And for me, part of, like, being at home and part of why I like being on my own a lot of the times is cause I'm like. Like there's no expectation of me. Like, when I'm by myself, I'm like, I can be whatever I want to be. And no one's now scrutinizing my every move. I still hang out with those friends. I still love them. There are people that it got very strange with, and I'm sure you experienced that, right? That it got strange with. Did you have any friends that, like, you would be like, this person loves me, but they don't like me? Yeah, yeah. My friend and I were talking about that recently.

[B]

Yeah, I've had a. A few of those people. And for a while, I had to keep them around because the social circle. I was not going to not be in that circle for a certain amount of time based on several different factors. So to remove myself would only be able to be. To complicate.

Matters. And so sometimes I have to be the architect of peace. And to be the architect of peace doesn't always mean that there is the absence of war. And so I thought, well, let me just. I'll play along for now. Until I know that I can permanently remove myself from this cycle.

[A]

And you have removed yourself permanently from the sick. You seem to have no problem getting out, removing yourself.

[B]

No. Not anymore. I still. I don't want to be anywhere more than I don't want to be anywhere where I. Where Titus can't be. And if Titus can't be there, I want. We can't do that. I just can't do it anymore. Even, like. No, yeah, that's.

[A]

Even like.

[B]

That's the thought.

[A]

Even, like, what else you want to. Okay. Okay. Titus, I thought we were about to.

Okay, fair enough. I understand, you know, everything doesn't have to be said. And sometimes things can just. Are understood.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what that was, but I feel like it was good. I'm giving you everything. It was gonna be good.

Your dad. You call him dad? Biological father? Sperm donor? How do you actually refer to him if you weren't here? Like, how would you refer to him in life?

[B]

I try not to. How do I refer to him to his face?

[A]

That, and then also not just.

[B]

I just remove the pronoun or the noun, whatever it's called, and I just be like, hey, and I get right to what I want.

[A]

Oh, so there's no calling him by his first name. It's not calling him dad. It's just. But so you do talk to him?

[B]

He will text me. I've asked him not. I've asked him to leave me alone.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

About five years ago, he. I started having dreams about reconnecting. And.

I had my. Not my current therapist, but my therapist before that said to me, Titus. My mom had said to me, titus, maybe you should call him. Talk to him. Say what you need to say. Get it off your chest, whatever. I told my therapist what my mom had suggested. And he said, titus, you are not going to hear what you want to hear.

If you do it, just know that it has to be for you. Like, it has to be one sided. I want to say this not because you are in pursuit of anything. And he was absolutely right. And I was devastated. And it took me a while to.

Make peace with My therapist being correct and my biological father having not having the capacity to own his part of.

How my childhood was curated.

And so back in January, I texted him after he, you know, was like, happy New Year. And I was like. I said, you're absolutely right, it's gonna be. And I went down the litany of things that I needed to say to him and I said, you gotta know, this is not an indictment. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not.

Any of those things anymore. I said, but I don't have the.

Fervor that you have to.

Ignite a relationship with you. I can't do that with you. And I said, you made your decision a long time ago. I said, if you need anything, anything, I will be there. Like no problem. I have the resources. That's not a problem. But I cannot have a relationship with you.

[A]

And so what made the fervor that you might have had dissipate? Because it sounds like there was a time where you were maybe on the same page about trying to.

[B]

Well, it dissipated once I realized that he was only interested to atone for. He was aware his guilt was the impetus, not his genuine love for me. And I'm not going to unlock that prison for you. That's not mine, that's yours. And me especially once I understood what was underscoring this new move.

Me entering into a covenant whereby I would agree to.

Participate in this non relationship relationship. Put me in prison and I spent 40 plus years trying to get out of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm not gonna go back into it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. How did he respond?

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

You don't care?

[B]

Okay, I blocked him.

[A]

I understand.

[B]

And then I later, I unblocked him.

[A]

Why'd you unblock? I do that sometimes. Because what made you unblock?

[B]

I said to him, if you need something, how would you get in touch with me?

[A]

That's true. You did say, that's fair. Fair, fair.

[B]

But I deleted the conversation. And then I deleted it from. You know, he's like niddle. I delete twice.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so it makes me sad for him that he can't do it for himself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That he can't walk himself through his choices. I'm okay. Cause I raised myself the part of me that needed my dad. I did that. I got me here. My mom was great. She did what she could. She's not without her shit.

But.

You know, I've done things where I've had to go back through some extreme discomfort where I. I could have at the time responded differently to a covenant that I had agreed to. And I didn't hold up to my end of the bargain. And I. I will never do that to anyone, ever. It's awful. It is awful. And so.

If he wants to be free, he has to free himself. I had to free myself. The end.

[A]

That's fair. Do you want kids?

[B]

Kids? No. No, no, no, no, no. There are too many parameters. There are two. There's the absence. There's too many parameters that are absent in the day to day and globally and on the federal level that are in place where if my kid walks out of the door, I'm not. My asshole's not finna be tight when I don't know where you are. Are. That's too much. And I see how he handled himself. Now, granted, I would like to think that I won't do that, but I can only think as far as wanting to be in a relationship and having to get up out of bed this thing. And they say when a child is born, there's a natural. You fall in love and information is downloaded that perhaps you've never knew was there. A new portal is opened up in your body.

And I've experienced that with dogs.

But I think my children is art. And I think.

What I can leave behind that will go on.

After I leave here is what part of my mind I've let be recorded whereby people can listen and revisit it should they want to. I don't deem myself some extraordinary thinker that that or. Or an extremely da da da da artist in relation to some other person. But this is what I have, and this was the truth in my however many years I would have been here when it's time to leave. And that's the. That is, I. I can get on board with that. I can be confident in that. That I feel a paternal instinct about. And that is what rises up in me when I hear about legacy. I can't do that. I don't think it's safe for me to do that in the human form.

[A]

That's fair. Yeah, yeah, I understand and I appreciate that. And now it's time for a segment called that's Nice, but what about Me?

It is stupid.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

It's fucking dumb. Okay, Titus, you get it. You're busy with acting, entertainment projects. On projects. How do I.

Carve out time for myself? What is your methodology? Do you have two phones? Do you schedule a vacation every year? Well in advance? Like, what do you do so that you don't experience Burnout.

What should I do so I don't experience burnout?

[B]

What are your February, Pisces or March? Pisces.

[A]

March. Pisces. Are you February? Okay. And this is. That's where the split begins.

[B]

You. You're just gonna have to. Okay. The same way.

You are the face of your art, the same way that you are the face of your.

Chosen family. Like, you got to act on behalf of that. You also have to act on behalf of your peace. And these three things.

While the currency is different in these planes, one is money, one is a type of love, and then one is.

Self care. They are all. The pendulum swings in terms of how much weight they carry.

And you. You have to. Even if it's a big money grab or the family really needs you, if you ain't got nothing or if you're not taking care of this, this one thing, you have offered energy into these other two things that is murky and muddy and not as.

Transparent as. As it would be were you to take care of your. Your health. So you just have to put out some hard nose and. And know that once I take care of this, I'm in the right space. I will regenerate these other two things. It just is how it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So just say no.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's a complete sentence.

[B]

That is a complete sentence.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. I really appreciate it. This podcast isn't just about you, and it's not just about me. We also help a listener, so we have a listener who needs advice. Kevin, you can play that. It's real life. This is a real listener.

[B]

All right, cool.

[A]

Hey, I don't know if you're gonna listen to this, but I was wondering if you had advice for making friends in the city during college also. Love you guys so much. Thank you. Bye.

[B]

Making friends since she goes to college in New York.

[A]

It sounds like it, yes. What would you tell her?

[B]

You got time to go out of your classes and have a social circle that are people who don't.

Who are not in your. What you trying to do?

[A]

She's not on the line. I'm trying to.

[B]

I don't know. What do you think she's trying to do?

[A]

She's trying to make friends.

[B]

She said it is.

[A]

She said.

You know. The answer was in the prompt. Yeah, I mean, I guess.

[B]

Well, you can't. How old are you?

[A]

I went to college 18 to 22. 18 to 22. Presumably not 22, given it's sounding like college is relatively new to this listener.

[B]

I think. I think.

Social.

I think you're. You're gonna do it anyways. You're gonna be social. That's. That's the thing. Like, you know, when we're in college, you want so desperately to not be in school. You know, you want to go out and party and play and do all the things. So, I mean, wear tight clothes and, like, show your boobies and, like, Titus, tight it. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[A]

This is why Titus can't be a dad. You know what we've decided today?

[B]

I don't know, what do you think?

[A]

What do I. You say I'm a lava to you because I'm going to lead this young soul astray.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I mean, make friends. What are your interests? Lean into those interests. Meet like minded people that way. And that's a good barometer for whether you would be friends naturally. You like that. You're like, yeah, you take it away.

[B]

You take it away.

[A]

Between the two of us, we can raise a child.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just saying.

[A]

Okay. Titus, I really appreciate you sharing yourself with me today. I really, really, really appreciate it. I know you would not be here if you didn't want to, so I'm honored you're here.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

And I appreciate your vulnerability. And I hope you felt me hold that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I adore you. Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

This is lovely.

[A]

Yeah.

And that was my episode with Titus Burgess. I think we delivered. We delivered a product, and you might have opinions about that product, but keep them to yourself. No, don't. Actually, if you like the podcast, I hope you subscribed and I hope you've left a nice review. That would be nice. Why not? No one told me to ask you that, but I just thought that would be really nice. That'd be very sweet and I would appreciate it. Anyway, Titus, how fun is he? We got a lot of tea, a lot of juice, and honestly, we're chock full of beverages. And I have to pee.

That's like a dad joke. That was a dad joke. Oh, boy. I have to go back to comedy school.

If you want advice from me and Titus in the future. Not me and Titus. Me and my guest, Titus. Titus may be back. I don't know if he'll be back. I don't know if he'll want to come back. I don't. I haven't repeated any guests yet. I'm everyone's again, just like dad of the day for me. But if you want advice from me and my next guest or another Guest. Call me. Leave a voice message. The number is 5028-4932-3750-2849-3237. 502 849, no, 502. Thanks, dads. Anyway, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Call. Leave a voice message. I love you so much. I don't think you get how much I love you. And it's really fucking me up right now. I'll see you guys next time. Please come back. I love you. No, I seriously love you. And you don't have to love me too. You don't have to say it back. There's no pressure to say it back, but I love you. Bye. Thanks, dad. Is a production of of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca.

[B]

Amazon five Star Theater presents real customer reviews performed by Ed Helms. Tonight's review, Tactical jacket. I was living a simple life. Didn't get out much. Then I bought this jacket and everything changed. Women came flocking to me from lands domestic and foreign. On the 245 day sailboat voyage home. I was attacked by a shark. I knew it was the jacket he was after, giving up the jacket in exchange for my life. 5 stars Amazon Customer 16 Shop the perfect gift this holiday on Amazon. What a matchup we got, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo, drum beat everybody. Showing that school pride. A game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Mmm. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere. And an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

You know what a girl's best friend is not diamonds. Her lawyers. From executive producer Ryan Murphy comes a fiery new legal drama. It's our own boutique. Women representing women you can't afford to miss.

[A]

Make it, Ray.

[B]

Showtime, ladies. Stand up straight and breeze into that.

[A]

Room like a storm no one saw coming.

[B]

Hulu Original Series All's fair now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Running my small business was like playing basketball. Five on one and I was the one. Now QuickBooks gives me access to a team of AI agents and trusted experts for the assists I need.

[A]

Now from Wipnick outdoit with intuit QuickBooks feature availability varies by product.

[B]

With Bali from Ishares, you get access to both monthly and customers income and growth potential in one simple ETF. It's the best of both worlds. Discover Bali iShares Large Cap Premium Income Active ETF iShares the market is yours. Visit www.ishares.com to view a perspective for investment objectives, risks, fees, expenses and other information that you should read and consider carefully before investing. Risks include principal loss and the use of derivatives, which could increase risks and volatility. Monthly income is not guaranteed. Prepared by BlackRock Investments, LLC.

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

Guaranteed Human.