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The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
1KHO 444: It's Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn | Greta Eskridge
01:11:49
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- [00:00]
Ginny Yurch
I can say to my new Samsung.
- [00:02]
Greta Eskridge
Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve. And it does without me lifting a.
- [00:09]
Ginny Yurch
Finger so I can get in more.
- [00:10]
Greta Eskridge
Squats anywhere I can. 1, 2, 3. Will that be cash or credit? Credit.
- [00:17]
Ginny Yurch
4 Galaxy S25 Ultra, the AI companion that does the heavy lifting. So you can do. You get yours@samsung.com compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. We're gonna do it. Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Ginny Yurch. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside. And you are in for a treat because back today for the third time, I think maybe fourth, at least third. I should have checked ahead of time. Greta Eskridge, welcome.
- [00:49]
Greta Eskridge
Thanks for having me back again.
- [00:52]
Ginny Yurch
I think it's the fourth.
- [00:54]
Greta Eskridge
I think it is.
- [00:55]
Ginny Yurch
The fourth is a really silly opener. I've ruined your opening. I ruined it. Anyway, she's been here a lot. Well, we've had some really amazing discussions. And so, you know, you have your two books that came out. You have Adventuring Together, which I just love. It's one I talk about a lot. And then you have your book 100 days of adventure, which they're always together. Like your book and my book are always together at the bookstore, which I just absolutely love that. And then we talked about pornography on one episode.
- [01:23]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [01:24]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah. So I really think that this is the fourth. And now you have a book and it will already be out by the time this podcast goes live. A new book. A new book launch about pornography and talking to kids about pornography. So this has been an interesting part of our relationship is that you've been talking about this for a long time. Yes, we've talked about it on the show. And then I feel like I was part of the process where you were like, I really think I should write a book about this, but I'm not sure if I can get a publisher to say yes. We talked about. There's really not that much out there for parents. Like, we've had this whole discussion and now here you are. You did it.
- [01:58]
Greta Eskridge
You've been a great cheerleader. You were like, do it, Greta. You just have to do it. Just do it. And so I did. Here we are.
- [02:07]
Ginny Yurch
You know, I know you were nervous about like, well, is the publisher even going to say yes and I'm just a parent, that type of thing. How did that process end up going?
- [02:14]
Greta Eskridge
I was absolutely floored by the response from first, my agent, totally on board. My publisher, like, the. The book proposal got there, and she, the acquisitions editor, emailed my agent, like, immediately and said, we need to get Greta on the phone now. I want to talk about this book. And then I happened to be in Nashville, where my publisher is, like, the next week, and we sat down and had lunch, and it was like. I mean, she was so supportive, so on board. And then even through the process, after getting the book proposal and, you know, getting, you know, a contract and writing the book, I still struggled because I felt imposter syndrome. I was like, am I really the right person to write this book? Like, I. I mean, I say I'm just a mom, and I don't use the term mom lightly. Like, we are a powerful force for good in the lives of our children and many children. But when you come to a topic about pornography and protecting kids, I'm like, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. Am I really the right person for the job? So there is this element of, you know, like, imposter syndrome, which is not something I've ever struggled with. I am probably confident to a fault because I jump in and say, I can do that without really thinking it through. And then sometimes I'm like, oh, I overshot. But this one, I struggled. And then even, like, how will people respond to a book? Like, are they going to want to hold up a book on Instagram that has the word porn on it? Are people just going to say, yeah, that's too much for me. I can't join you in that. And that has not been the case. I have these warrior moms who are stepping up alongside of me, and, like, they want to fight for their kids. They want to fight for their friends, kids, and the kids of strangers. And so it's just been this surprising movement of people who are passionate, like me, about a seemingly random yet incredibly important thing, which is to protect kids from pornography.
- [04:34]
Ginny Yurch
Wow, Greta, you did it. It's here. It is called it's time to talk to your kids about porn. A parent's guide to helping children and teens develop sexual integrity. Actually, the COVID is adorable. So they did a wonderful job with it.
- [04:49]
Greta Eskridge
We tried really hard to make a cover that was not scary, that felt, like inviting, and sort of matched my vibe of I love vintage stuff. My husband picked the colors. He was like, these are the colors we need. They're warm, they're welcoming. So it was a process to design that cover. It was kind of hard.
- [05:08]
Ginny Yurch
It's beautiful. I mean, I Love the colors, and I love the font, and it is a very inviting book. One of the things that we talked about was, you know, along the way over the past few years, is that there really are not that many resources out there for this.
- [05:20]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [05:21]
Ginny Yurch
And so you made one. I tend to think that the mom angle is a really important angle in this day and age, because even in the things that I've done, you know, you see people come in that are, you know, maybe several generations older, and they're gonna give their advice, but they haven't actually lived it. So I think there's a lot of power in the mom angle of what have you actually done. Not what you think would work, but what have you actually done in your home? And this is a really vulnerable book because you start the book with your own personal story. And I think this is also really powerful. I think about this a lot. Like, for example, you know, certain ones of our kids are asking for social media. They want Instagram. They're decently old, you know, and I keep thinking back about you. It's like, we didn't do it. We didn't do it in high school. And I keep thinking, well, if my child sees something on Instagram or I let them watch such and such movie, whatever, like, I am responsible to the wife down the road that I don't know yet. And this is the perspective that you took with your own situation. And I was surprised, actually, how vulnerable you were in this book. I wrote the forward for it, so I got to read it a long time ago. But you open it up by talking about the effects of porn in your own marriage. Yeah. Were you nervous to put that out there? Did you feel like enough time had passed and you were fine to put it out there?
- [06:45]
Greta Eskridge
I felt very. It felt very vulnerable. And parts of that did make me feel nervous. Not because I am scared to share our story. I am actually incredibly proud to share our story because I know the work that we've put in to get to this place. It's been 15 years of healing. 15 years since my husband revealed that he had a porn addiction, which contributed to him having an affair. So it's been a long time since it all came out, and it's been years and years of healing, and my husband has experienced recovery, and now we're helping other people who are dealing with this in their lives in various capacities. But still, even all of those things are true, we still feel like there is a. An element of vulnerability. And I think that that is a really important thing to talk About, Because I think the part that makes us feel like, oh, it's scary to be vulnerable, even though we're on the other side. Shame is what keeps us hiding. Like, want keeps us wanting to hide and wanting to be like, yeah, we don't need to share that story. And I think that there is power in that power that we give to shame to tell us, you know what, if you share, people might judge you. Your friends, your family, strangers, society. They will look down on you. And there is this temptation to give into that idea of, yeah, you know what? That's true. I'm going to keep hiding. And that's where shame has its power. But when we step into the light and we let the light win, that's where the change happens, because we have them. Instead of shame having power, community has power. And other people will be able to say, oh, I'm not the only one. That's my story, too. And then there is hope, there is help, there is healing. Because I remember walking through that journey and it was incredibly lonely. It was 15 years ago, and even less people were talking about this. And I didn't know anybody, to be honest, Jenny, I didn't even know what a porn addiction was. I was like, what are we talking about? I had no category for a man like my husband using pornography. I was like, he's a good man. He's a good dad. He's a good husband. How could this be true? So I've learned so much in the process, and now both Aaron and I want to be a help to other people to say, yes, we are going to share our story because we are not full of shame. We are grateful for where we are at and grateful for how far we've come. And we want to help other people in their marriages, but also as parents, so that really we can help our kids and other kids not have to deal with what we've dealt with.
- [09:45]
Ginny Yurch
It's interesting because when I first read it, there is no judgment. It's more like, oh, gosh, they're really brave. That's what I felt like. That's really brave to put that out there. And I've read a couple other people's books when I've been like, whoa, you know, I didn't know that part of their story at all. And they put it in a book. Jennifer Pepito had a sim, you know, something where she wrote in her book. And I was like, oh, but you. You do. You feel like it's very brave and it allows other people to enter in to your story. And relate in a lot of different ways. I want to read what you wrote. When Aaron confessed to the affair, it was one of the worst days of my life. The next came a few days later when I learned about his porn addiction. In my mind, pornography users were creeps, not stable married fathers who went to church, held out in jobs, and took care of their families. Obviously, I was wrong. This really brought a new mission to you, which was to protect your kids both now and down the road. And this is where this sort of story begins. And 15 years later, you are at this book. And the book is mainly about talking to our kids and also a lot of other things. It's also about making real life fun and exciting. I love that you wove that in there, but can you just. Before we hop into that, can you give a message to the mother who's listening? Because you are a mother. You are a young mom at this time. You had young children. For a mother who is listening and knows that she is in this spot, what message do you have for her?
- [11:15]
Greta Eskridge
Well, I would tell you what I needed to hear was you aren't alone. You aren't the only one. And that there is so much help and healing available. There are organizations and there are individuals who want to step into the journey with you, and there is healing. If. If you're dealing with it in your own life, like you personally have been hurt by porn, using it yourself or your spouse, there is help for both. And if you are a woman, is dealing with a porn addiction in your husband's life, and you're a betrayed spouse, there is help for you. I think the temptation is to pour all of our resources into helping the person who's struggling with porn and we forget about the impact that it has on the spouse. And so you are worthy of healing as well, and you need it. And there is help for you. And I'm going to give Jenny to put in the show notes some resources, places where you can go to get that help because it is important for you to know it's out there and you can seek it and you need to when you aren't alone. And. And as cheesy as this sounds, I'm. I'm just like giving you a virtual hug because I know you need it and I love you. Honestly, I have so much care and compassion for you in my heart.
- [12:38]
Ginny Yurch
This is just such a pertinent, and I don't even know if that's the right word, pertinent, timely conversation, because the statistics are pretty shocking.
- [12:47]
Greta Eskridge
Yes.
- [12:47]
Ginny Yurch
When you talk about the amount of children that are exposed to pornography by the time they're 18. It's 93% of boys.
- [12:54]
Greta Eskridge
Yes.
- [12:54]
Ginny Yurch
63% of girls. It's almost all boys are exposed to pornography.
- [12:58]
Greta Eskridge
And I think that number is higher for girls now, to be perfectly honest, because so just kids are inundated with it. They really are.
- [13:08]
Ginny Yurch
I'm reading this fantastic book by. And I don't. I can't. I don't. I just started it, so I don't remember the name or the title, but he's talking about persuasive design. This is done with a purpose and the amount of money generated you had. The statistic annual revenue of pornography is 97 billion more than the revenues of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Earthlink, Apple and Netflix combined. They're working hard to normalize and trivialize porn. You even talked about, you know, just like food porn and the way that people talk these days, that Kraft Mac and Cheese had some sort of a thing that they did, some sort of a campaign that. Where they said, send nudes. And they're just trying to make light of it. And I think there is no better time than now to be talking about this and to be bringing this topic up. We always say screens aren't evil. We're trying to keep balance. But there are parts of screens that are evil. They are, and they're there to capture our kids. Can you give the counterpoint? So when they're trying to trivialize and say it's no big deal and it's not really harmless and it's just fun and kids have curiosity. This is the way that they can learn about sex. What's the counterpoint to that?
- [14:21]
Greta Eskridge
Okay, well, I want to take the part of that that makes me the most upset. The kids can learn about sex through porn. That is an actually, I believe, such a damaging message because the vast amount of pornography produced now is violent porn. Like my husband, I were just talking about this the other day and he said, basically you are watching that and you're. You're watching trauma happen. And imagine a kid experiencing that, and that is their introduction to what they believe sex is. We're not even talking about the fact that pornography isn't even real. I mean, there's a script, there's lights, there's a director, there are actors, there's makeup, there's drugs. There are all these things that are happening. It's a hundred percent not real. So you have that aspect and you have this idea that, that kids will take away from it, thinking, oh, this is what sex is supposed to be like. So you have unrealistic expectations, but then you add this element of violence, and it becomes so shocking, so overwhelming, and so dangerous for any kid who is consuming that. Because they believe, as a male, oh, this is how I treat girls. And this is what they want. And then the girl, she's watching and she thinks, oh, this is how I expect. Should expect to be treated. And I'm supposed to act like that and that it's okay and that I like it. Like, these are damaging, dangerous messages for our kids to receive. And so for the pornography industry and society at large to say that pornography is harmless and normal is an absolute lie. And it is hurting our kids, and it is hurting them now, and it is hurting their futures.
- [16:16]
Ginny Yurch
We watched this. Maybe we even talked about this on the last one. But we watched this video series in mops when I had young kids. And it's called Laugh your way to a Better Marriage. And I think the guy's name is Mark Gungor. And one of the things he talked about was how for boys especially, that they imprint with their first sexual experience. Sort of like how, you know, like some animals do that, that they think the thing is its mom, but it's not its mom. Cause it was the first thing that they saw. M. And so he really talked about how, you know, if your first experience is in the back of a car and rushed and, you know, that. That. That it carries with you, like, your whole life. Yeah. And then we had known this couple that we had gone to a small group with years and years back where, like, he was only interested in being intimate if she was wearing high heels and had her hair curled.
- [17:01]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah, yeah.
- [17:02]
Ginny Yurch
That was an imprint. That was an imprint. Well, you know, when you become a mom and you're like, well, I don't know where my high heels are anymore and my hair is in a bun. So, you know, I mean, just see how those initial imprints then could cause lifelong damage. And that's why you talk about this book. You're helping children and teens develop sexual integrity. It's not just about the porn.
- [17:24]
Greta Eskridge
Right.
- [17:25]
Ginny Yurch
It's about the lifelong implications of the porn.
- [17:29]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah. And I think that's really important because we. People can get really hung up on the religious aspect of, you know, saying no to pornography. Like, oh, you're just against it because you're prudish and you have a religious reason against pornography. But for me, I do have a religious, a faith aspect to my message because I'm a person of faith. But I think, and evidence and research shows this to be true. You can take religion and even the moral aspect of pornography, like you can take that out of it. And you can still find plenty of people, doctors, psychologists, researchers of all kinds who will say pornography is damaging. In one way that I think it can be explained is through the way that pornography encourages people to view others as objects. It's called objectification. And when we objectify other people, which is what pornography does, you turn them into an object, a thing that you can use for your own pleasure and for your own purposes. And then when you're done, you toss them aside because they're no longer serving you. And when you're consuming pornography, that's the way you're seeing that person on the screen or those people on the screen as objects, right? Well, the more you consume, the more that begins to be your take on every person that you see. And that impacts your relationships not just with your, your intimate relationships with your spouse or your partner, but with your children, with your family, with friends and even strangers, because you begin to see people as objects. I am better than them. I can use them. Are they serving me? No. I don't want anything to do with them. And I think that's what sexual integrity all about. Sexual integrity is not just saying I'm not going to have sex till I married, I'm not going to look at porn. Sexual integrity is about how do we treat people. How do we see people as fully human? Not just as sexual body parts that we can use for our own pleasure and gain. How do we treat them as fully human, designed for a purpose, creative, smart, interesting, funny. That's what sexual integrity is, is how do we treat other people? Well, not just use them and abuse them. And pornography, that's what it's all about. It's, it's selfish and it's about treating other people for your own gain. And that's the opposite of what I want for my kids, my grandkids. It's the opposite of what I want for any kid. I want them to have something better.
- [20:01]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah.
- [20:02]
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- [23:55]
Ginny Yurch
And the science is really strong. I talked to this Nicholas Carderis, Dr. Nicholas Carderis, who is dealing with all sorts of addictions. He is phenomenal. And he is talking about how all of a sudden you're seeing all of these things for children that never were there. Right. So it's like, you know, kids have fatty liver disease. I mean, all these things that like never existed in kids. And now there's. There's like sexual problems.
- [24:18]
Greta Eskridge
Yes.
- [24:18]
Ginny Yurch
With kids that were never ever before seen in children because of the overuse of pornography and that type of thing. So the science part is really strong too, outside of, like you said, the religious piece. But the interesting thing about the religious piece is that I always. Because I hear the same thing too. I mean, when you and I talked about pornography the first time. Yeah. There was so much pushback.
- [24:43]
Greta Eskridge
I know.
- [24:43]
Ginny Yurch
People were so mad. I mean, it went off the rails. What's interesting to me though is that the studies bear it out. It's like you have a better life. Yeah. If you follow that sort of moral path. I had read a statistic about. I'm not going to remember the exact number, but it was in the 90s percent. It might have been 95, it might have even been 98. The percentages of marriages that stay together when both the man and the woman have waited to be intimate until they got married. I mean, it's almost foolproof. It's not a hundred percent, but it's close. And you're like, well, that provides a lot of stability for the family, for the children, for the grandchildren, and that's God's plan. So, I mean, you can't really argue with those numbers too much. I don't know, it's just interesting to me. Like, the whole point is, like, we just want our kids to have a better life. And when you talk about pornography, frequency of porn use correlates with depression, anxiety, stress, and social problems. Who wants that for their kids? Porn addiction can cause everything from brain damage to violent behavior to suicidal thought. Pornography is linked to child exploitation, sex trafficking, sexual violence. It is dangerous and should be viewed as such. So that's the counterpoint.
- [25:54]
Greta Eskridge
Yes.
- [25:55]
Ginny Yurch
The industry is going to try and make you think that it's just a normal part of culture, and it is happening. You talked about being in the high school. I was in the high school. It was so bad in, like, the early 2000s, before the iPhone was even there.
- [26:08]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [26:09]
Ginny Yurch
So I think parents need to be aware of, like, what's going on on the bus and at school. What would you tell parents in terms of what they may not know?
- [26:19]
Greta Eskridge
I think that is really important for parents to be honest with themselves and what their kids could be or already have been exposed to. And that's scary. And I think that's why so many parents are pushing. Like, they push back not because they don't care about their kids, but because they're overwhelmed and they're scared. But when I have talked to teenagers and college students, what they have shared with me is a couple really important things. First, many of them have said to me, no one talks to us about this, so parents, your kids need you to talk to them about this. Secondly, they say, we didn't know we didn't have to use pornography. So, parents, the messaging your kids are getting is everybody uses pornography, and therefore they think they should, too.
- [27:12]
Ginny Yurch
Wow.
- [27:12]
Greta Eskridge
Can you imagine? They said, we didn't know we didn't have to use this. Third thing, they said, we didn't know it was bad for us or society. Like, they had no idea that pornography is connected to sex trafficking and sexploitation. They had no idea it could cause erectile dysfunction in young men. They had no idea it was bad for their brain, that it conditioned their brain to see other people as objects, and it conditioned their brain to only be aroused by what they see on A screen they didn't know it was bad for them. So parents, your kids, need to know there are negative things associated with pornography that will impact their body, their brain and their heart. Those are the things parents need to know because that's the world their kids are growing up in. And I don't say those things to scare you, but to light a fire in you, to say, this is an urgent matter that I need to take, to take care of, you know, when our kids are little, like, we care about every single thing that they're doing and eating and playing with. Like, I always joke with parents, like. Like, you're making homemade baby food. You're whipping up those organic peas in the blender and freezing them. And then you don't. You don't put them in the microwave to, like, you know, defrost them, because that's toxic. You, like, defrost it in a glass of filtered warm water. And you care about their toys. You get wooden toys that are dyed with beet juice and turmeric. Like, not plastic, primary colors. Like, we care about those things so much, but what happens when they get older? Are we going to care so deeply about these issues that are going to have, I'm sorry to say, a bigger impact than whether or not they played with wood or plastic toys? This matters. We've got to care about it as deeply as we care about all those things when they were little. And those are easier to control and they're easier to deal with. They're less scary, they're less overwhelming. But this matters so much. And there is help. Like, my book is full of helpful things to get you through those difficult conversations, but those are the things your kids are dealing with. So you need to know that they need you to speak into their lives on this subject.
- [29:19]
Ginny Yurch
The book has wonderful scripts in it and for different ages and for different situations, and I think that is such a helpful thing. And in fact, in the back of the book, you have a list of all of the scripts and where people can find them in the different sections. And that's really helpful. Chris McKenna, I know he's is a mutual friend of ours from Protect Young Eyes. And he said, if you're a parent today, this is something that you're going to have to deal with. And you have to know that, you know, if you've had a child, then this is part of the equation. It didn't used to be, but it is now. And you had this quote in here from Martin Daubeney that said, if we stick our heads in the sand. We are only fooling ourselves. You talk about the young age of six. Yeah. And people are kind of shocked by that. But you say you don't have to explain everything at six. But starting at six, you're talking about we shouldn't be looking at naked pictures, naked videos. And you're starting to explain at that young of an age. Obviously parents push back and they say, well, what about their innocence? But you say, I mean, we're looking at the long term consequences here. So talk to us about this young age and the, and the pushback that parents often give.
- [30:28]
Greta Eskridge
That's probably my number one question that I get from parents is why would I talk to them at such a young age? I don't want to take away their innocence and I understand that. I felt the same way with my kids. But there are two important things to take away from that. Number one, your kid does not have all the negative associations with pornography that you do. They're not carrying this heavy weight in this baggage that you do with pornography. So when you introduce it to them, you're not telling them all of that stuff. So you're not handing over that baggage and just weighing them down. You are actually giving them tools for their protection, to protect their innocence. Because if we say nothing, the potential damage that could come is going to result in a much bigger loss of innocence than you saying something like this. Hey, buddy, I need to tell you about pornography. It's this thing that's dangerous for you. It's not good for your body, your brain or your heart. I want to protect you and keep you safe because that's my job. So if you see pictures or movies of naked people, that's what pornography is. If you see it on a screen or a tablet, on my phone or someone else shows you, I want you to say, I don't want to look at that. Turn the phone over, close the computer, walk away from that person and come tell me or dad or grandma or grandpa, somebody safe, and say, I think I saw pornography and we'll help you. You won't be in trouble. In that conversation that's like less than two minutes long. You have not stolen their innocence. In fact, you've given them the tools they need to protect themselves. You've empowered them to maintain more innocence. And the reason I say start at the age of 5, 6, 7 years old is because you want to get in front of exposure. The ideal is you talk to your kids and give them a plan to steer clear of pornography, to walk away from it. You give Them tools for what to do before they're exposed. Because the longer we wait, the greater chances are that they'll have an accidental exposure and we haven't prepared them for it. So they're going to feel afraid, shamed, like inept. They're not going to know how to respond. They might feel curious and go back because you haven't told them that it's bad for them. All of those responses are normal because we haven't prepared them. But if we get in on the front end and we prepare them for it, we've given them, like I said, the tools to protect themselves and to maintain their innocence in a greater way.
- [33:06]
Ginny Yurch
All of the scripts are right in the book. Every single one. All these different situations and how to talk about it at different ages and stages. I love this comparison that you gave Greta, where you talk about, like, you know, we protect our kids in all sorts of ways. We tell them not to run into the street after a ball. We tell them not to put their hands on the hot stove. We don't go into graphic detail. Like, hey, your head might get popped open and you might end up with a third degree burn and have to do skin grafts and this, you know, like, we don't tell him those things. Right? Like, you don't have to go into graphic detail. You just look at it like how you do with everything else where you're protecting your kids. You might, you know, fall and have a catastrophic injury. Traumatic. We don't see those things.
- [33:49]
Greta Eskridge
Be careful when you're climbing the tree. Know where your feet are.
- [33:52]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah, exactly. You know, don't run into the street with all the cars, that type of thing. And I thought that was a really helpful analogy so that parents can realize we are protecting our kids all the time about all sorts of things, but we don't have to even talk. They don't even have to know what sex is yet in order to know, to watch out for pornography.
- [34:12]
Greta Eskridge
And in fact, and I'm so glad you said that, Jenny, because I think that's. That's probably one of the other most commonly asked questions. They'll say, well, how can I tell them about porn? They don't even know what sex is. And I say, good, they should not know that porn and sex are even connected. And again, my husband and I were just talking about this the other day, and Aaron said that's because people think porn is sex. Porn is not sex. It's all a show. It's not the real thing is not the way sex is supposed to be. But because we've been, you know, taught to think that those two things are the same and they're not. And so we need to remember our kids don't need to know about sex to know to. To say no to porn, to walk away from it. For us to educate our kids of what to do to say no to porn, they don't need to know about sex. And in fact, it's so much better that they don't, because that conversation can come when they're a little bit older, or sometimes it can come when they're younger. But they don't need to have those two things, like, confused in their mind. Keep them separate. And when they're older, then you can have those conversations about those other things that I mentioned earlier, like, porn is fake. That is not real. That is not what sex is like. Let me give you some examples of how these things are harmful messages. That comes when you've got, you know, a teenager and you can go into more detail with them. But for the little kids, yeah, you don't need to have that conversation.
- [35:39]
Ginny Yurch
It's so good to know. And this is really important because if parents are saying my kids are too young, one of the statistics is children under 10 account for 22% of the online porn consumption. For those under 18. Yeah, one out of five. Yeah.
- [35:55]
Greta Eskridge
I just got a message from a woman who works to. She's working to. To protect kids from porn in South Africa. And she said statistically, kids 10 and under there that it was over 30% had viewed and were viewing pornography. And she said, you know, those numbers are just staggering. Like, you think a kid that's 8 years old ingesting this material and what that's doing to his or her psyche and their heart and their view of themselves, their view of others. It's. It's incredibly important. We talk to our kids.
- [36:34]
Ginny Yurch
And what you talk about is you talk about it a lot. These are topics you should revisit. Often it's a hundred little conversations sprinkled in the middle of your everyday life. These teachable moments come up a lot. So you talked about, you know, your kid is learning about ants and they say, are pheromones and hormones the same thing? Or when someone's going through puberty, you don't just hide that from all of the other kids. All of these opportunities. I mean, we were at the zoo once, and the polar bears, we're getting it on, you know, So, I mean, you have. You have these opportunities. I think that's how God made it. I mean, it happens. You know, you're in. You're in and amongst nature. And that's. I feel like that's why they say the birds and the bees or, or whatever. It's like there's all of these opportunities when you're outdoors and experiencing life in different situations where things come up or you see different billboards, or you see different commercials. So can you talk about how there's this misconception and maybe this is why people are so afraid of it. It's like they feel like I have to have a one time conversation. I have to do it perfectly right. It's super. Aw. But that's really not the way to go.
- [37:35]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah, you. I'm all for taking advantage of those organic moments as they come up and as often as possible. And, you know, I mean, it can be something like, this has happened to us. One time we were driving down the road and a car pulls up next to us and it's covered in anime stickers. And they were anime. That was extremely sexual. So these cartoon pictures, but they're very sexualized. And his car is covered and he's right next to us at the stoplight. And at that moment, I could have done two things. I could just ignore. Even though the tension in the car, you could feel it. Everyone knows that that's right next to us. And we're all trying not to look and we're all trying not to act like anything is amiss. Or I could take advantage of that moment and be like, hey, why do you think that guy in the car next to us thinks it's okay to cover his car with stickers like that that are objectifying women and that he's exposing us to it? And he's obviously exposed to it. Like, do you think no one ever told him it's not okay to. To think or treat women in that way? Like, what do you think the reason is? How should we respond? Just talk about it. Because we're all thinking it. So let's just talk about it. And that's kind of my philosophy for everything. So much so that sometimes my kids will roll their eyes. They're like, oh my gosh, we have friends over and we're talking about this at dinner. Yes, we are. We're not afraid. Like, but sometimes you do have to make the conversation. Like you have to intentionally bring it up because no organic moment has happened. And you haven't talked to your kid to remind them about porn for like three months. And so it could be you're taking the dog for a walk. And you say to your 10 year old, hey, bud, do you remember we talked about porn? Do you remember what it is? And, and if it's like, if that kid is like one of mine, they're kind of just like clueless and they're not paying attention to a lot of things that you say. And so they'll say, yeah, kind of. But can you tell me again? Because I, I don't really remember. And then you tell them again and you just have that, you know, two minute conversation and you remind them. So yes, you are going to say the wrong thing sometimes. You're going to feel awkward, you're going to have an upset stomach. They're not going to remember, they're not going to pay as much attention as you want. And so you say it again. Or when the organic opportunity comes up, you take advantage and you, you just talk about it. You have books on the table so they can see that you're thinking about it. You have books that you're going to read to them. You're going to pull up articles and be like, oh my gosh, I just read this article. Teens, let's talk about it. You're going to be driving through the cornfields of Minnesota like we were with our family and taking video and your son is going to think it's hilarious and he's going to say, mom, stop taking this pornography. You got to knock it off. And you're gonna, you're gonna joke about it as a family in a safe way because you've created a culture in your home where you can talk about everything and your kids know you are a safe place. That's ultimately why you talk about it so much. Your kids need to know you're a safe place for them to land. You could talk about anything. You will talk about anything. They can come to you with questions, you will approach them. That's why you talk about it so much. You need to create that safe, safe, loving, sometimes laughing about it culture in your family.
- [41:01]
Ginny Yurch
It's so good. And this is why I think you are the perfect person to write this book. You've dealt with the ramifications of it in your own personal life. You then that led you to 15 years of research on how am I going to parent in light of this change in culture. And you have raised four wonderful children. I mean, it's really cool. I'm always inspired by you, just seeing what you're doing with your lives. And that's part of the book too. It's like we are building an offline life that is compelling and it's so important. Your data is like gold to hackers. They're selling your passwords, bank details and private messages. McAfee helps stop that. Secure VPN keeps your online activity private. AI powered text scam detector spots phishing attempts instantly and with award winning antivirus you get top tier hacker protection. Plus you'll get up to $2 million in identity theft coverage, all for just $39.99 for your first year. Visit McAfee.com, cancel anytime terms apply.
- [42:00]
Greta Eskridge
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Ginny Yurch
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Greta Eskridge
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Ginny Yurch
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Greta Eskridge
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Ginny Yurch
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Greta Eskridge
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Ginny Yurch
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Ginny Yurch
Edu. So you also talk in this book, and I think this is something that parents are really struggling with and trying to figure out. And I think the message has to be there all the time because the message from the technology platforms are constant. Computers never grow weary. So the messaging and the persuasive design, like that's constant. And so to read books like yours, it's so important to have these reminders. You talk about how you've dealt with tech in your home and one of your kids said, the only cyber bully I know is my mom. She hardly lets me use the Internet. He was like 15. I mean he's not like a little kid, you know.
- [43:53]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah, he was 15.
- [43:54]
Ginny Yurch
And then there was a joke about now We. We approve all our kids apps. If they do an app request, it's got to come, and they're mad about it. They're like, can you take this off? I'm like, no. And so you had a joke about where someone wanted Spotify, and you were like, yeah, well, you can get Spotify kids.
- [44:09]
Greta Eskridge
I think he was 17.
- [44:13]
Ginny Yurch
Like, that's got good reviews and seems safe. But anyway, just kind of joking around about these things. But you walk through tech in your home, and I about you often, because, you know, I've got kids that are asking for social media, and I'm like, well, Greta didn't do it until her kids were adults, you know, then they were allowed to. And so I just keep saying no. I mean, but I. Getting asked a lot, it's hard. Yeah.
- [44:35]
Greta Eskridge
And I think with each successive kid, it gets harder. And that's why I'm so glad, because I wanted to write this book for a really long time, and for a wide variety of reasons, it just wasn't the right time. But I'm so glad I didn't write it when my kids were like, 10 and under, because at 10 and under, it's. It's real easy to control what your kids are doing on screens. You know, it's like, especially for me, I was a homeschooler, so I had even more control because they weren't having to, you know, get their own Chromebook when they were eight to do classroom assignments or any of that. You know, we don't even have a tv. We've never had a tv, so I don't have to deal with that. Like, it was easy to control. But then your kids get to high school, and then your kids, you know, are like 17, 18 years old. And suddenly you have to realize, like, I can't just say no to tech forever and no to screens and no to apps and no to everything. Like, that's not real life, but it's also not serving them. So I'm so glad I've had the opportunity to walk through the teen years of learning how to navigate screens and tech wisely and to prepare them to use it well and to recognize that, you know, at first it was like, okay, definitely. This set age is when everything can happen and to recognize, oh, that's not always the case either, you know. So for our oldest, he was 18 when he got his first cell phone, a smartphone. We had, you know, a dumb phone before that, a gab phone that didn't have access to apps and all that stuff. So he got his first smartphone at 18. He didn't have social media until he was 18. 18, but then our next kid was 17 when he got his first smartphone. He still doesn't have social media. He has zero interest in it, which is great too. And I think that's an important thing. Like don't feel like your kids have to have it if they don't want it, praise the Lord, like let them leave live free of that. But he needed it at 17 because he had a job and he had, he was part of a community service organization where he had to be able to communicate with a certain app that wasn't going to work on our other kind of phone. So recognizing that it's not a set age, but it is more when like wait as long as possible. I do really think 18/plus is ideal for social media because their emotional development, their prefrontal cortex is still so underdeveloped to have access to all the things that are in social media. Not just the porn, but all kinds of stuff that's on social media. It's better to wait, the longer the better. But before that, you're preparing them how to use, when they get a phone, a smartphone, how to use it wisely and how to use it well. How to use social media well. What. Social media is absolutely not good for them. Let's reject that social media that is less bad for them. Okay. How can you use that in the safest and most discerning way possible? So I think those are all things that you approach as they get older. The average age for a kid to get their first smartphone In America is 10 years old. And I have a post. It's probably the most viral post I've ever written. And I don't write viral posts because they're about porn. This one is. Was your 10 year old doesn't need a device that can access porn. So yeah, buck the system. Don't give your 10 year old a smartphone. Don't give your 13 year old a smartphone. They don't need access to all of the stuff that's on there that's bad for their body, their brain and their heart. Wait as long as you can and give them. I, I say it is a gift to give our kids a childhood that is untethered by screens. That is a gift. So the longer you can give them that gift, the better.
- [48:29]
Ginny Yurch
It's so good. Greta, we had a similar experience in your book. You talked about when your daughter was 10 and she goes to some, you know, maybe she's in the. I can't Quite remember the details, but it's like she's in the next level of the church group class and she's super excited to go. And everybody had a phone and so she just didn't like it. And I had that experience with our daughter when she was in the fourth grade, so similar age. And she was on some rec basketball team and had to get there. I've told this story before, but she had to get there early for pictures. And then there was like a period of time in between pictures and when her game was starting, she's got all these little girls on her team, like they should be talking. And every single one of them had a phone except for her. And they were doing TikTok dances and they were recording them. And I, I cried. I cried so hard. Because you look at your kid who is just so awkwardly standing there and is so left out, so left out because of these tech monsters. And I just thought, well, that's also motivation. Like be the parent who bucks the system for the sake of other kids too, not just your own. Our kids need that. And it can't be that there's just one, just one fourth grader who doesn't have a phone. Come on. Like, we have to stand up for the community of children that are around us and not just our own. You talk about, though, this takes effort. And you talk a lot in this book. I mean, it's such a well balanced book, Greta. It is wonderful. You're talking about the dangers of pornography. You're talking about your story. You have all these scripts. Here's how you deal with it. And then you also talk about building an offline life and how important that is. And what I love is that I've seen it. I've seen you delivering the cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve. Like I've seen you with your book parties. You know, you have this book club and the. And the details. And I've seen the kids doing these elaborate get togethers. It's a lot of work, though.
- [50:22]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [50:22]
Ginny Yurch
And what you're portraying is that it's worth it. Can you talk just about that piece? Especially as we're getting into the teen years, we are fighting against a huge giant. We're fighting against psychologists who are using persuasive design to suck in all of the time of your children. And so we are up against a lot. But it's worth it to fight back. How are you fighting back in terms of building an offline life for your teens?
- [50:45]
Greta Eskridge
Well, like you, I think spending time outside as much as possible is Hugely important, because that's where they're going to engage every part of themselves with something that is not tech. Right? They're gonna. They're engaging their bodies with nature. They're engaging their mind and their heart as, like, connecting with friends. They're spending time outside with people, and they're away from the, like, the siren call of technology. When they're climbing a tree, when they're interested in watching a bug walk across the trail, like, that seems so small. It seems insignificant. Like, really, like we. We want them to care about and get excited about finding a bug, watching something, the first wildflower of spring, whatever it is. Yes, we do. Because then they're getting that dopamine hit from something that's not a screen. Right. That's not coming through them from technology. Like, dopamine is a gift. It is something that God designed for us to experience joy and pleasure from all sorts of things. Not just somebody liked our photo on Instagram. Not just pornography. Not just, you know, you made it to the next level on a video game. Your dopamine hits for your kids should be coming. When they find a snake like, that is so thrilling, right? Or when they climbed this tree that they've been trying to climb. My son recently said that he, My husband took all of our boys. They went on a backpacking trip for the weekend. And he said he is at most. He is most alive and at most at peace when he's backpacking because he is just free of all of the. The tech stuff, all of this stuff on screens, people being able to talk to him. And this is my kid that doesn't even have social media. Like, he purposely doesn't check his phone when he first wakes up like he is. So he's such a great example to me to live a better tech life. And he said I am most alive when I'm out on, you know, a mountain or out in the desert, away from all of the other things of life. And it's just me and my sleeping bag in a tent and a little backpacking stove. That's what we want our kids to. To know how to find those places where they come alive. We need to give that to them. But, yes, it takes work. Yes, that means you have to take your kid backpacking or you have to go out, spend the day outside and get dirty, and your car might be a mess and there might be sand everywhere. And, you know, like, sometimes I'll say, I'm not sweeping the house today because we're going to the beach, and tomorrow and it's gonna be Sandy, so why even bother? Like, you're gonna have to let things go. You're gonna have to pack lunches ahead of time, and you're gonna have to, like, really make time in your schedule. We have adventured every single week for 16 years. Like, regularly. Every week we go out and do a specific adventure outside. And the adventure is a lot of times just going for a hike. But, man, it has made an imprint on my kids. And it's a lot of work, but it's absolutely worth it.
- [53:52]
Ginny Yurch
And I think that you do such a wonderful job of casting a vision for parents that are headed that direction. Maybe they've got, you know, kids that are eight and under, what's coming. And you're going to have to invest. You're going to have to invest financially. You're going to have to invest in your time. And you're right. I mean, our house is trashed 95% of the time unless we have people over. And then it's only certain parts of it that are clean. And I hate it. I hate it. I wish that it was clean and organized. And it's just not happening because we are investing our time in other ways and we have to, because that tech has such a pull. You write, when friends come over, they don't play video games. They spend very little time on screens, but they bake cookies, they build Legos, they make forts, they do big, messy art projects. You have a bucket or a basket, put your phones in there, and instead you have snacks and board games and a fire pit with s'mores making supplies and ping pong and basketball and pickleball and all of these things that you're offering, you wrote. And I thought this was such a big statement because we all see it. Kids are just on their phones constantly. No one is offering them help for engaging with one another.
- [55:04]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah, yeah.
- [55:06]
Ginny Yurch
This is an emotional book. All of it. You know, when we first started talking, you're like, gosh, it's like a really. The book comes out tomorrow, this will come out next. This episode will come out next week, and the book will be available immediately. But like, you got on and you're like, I've been crying a lot. This is vulnerable. It's emotional. I feel emotional too. It's because our kids, they're really losing. Yeah, they're losing a lot. Well, they sit here and cry together.
- [55:33]
Greta Eskridge
They are. But the message that I have tried to weave through the book and, and through the things that I post online and even my first book, Adventuring together is really a message of hope that yes, our kids are growing up in this world where all these industries are coming after them, but they have us on our side. And I believe like we can band together as mothers, as parents, as families, as whole communities and say we want to do something better and different for our kids. I mean, I've experienced it in real life with my group of friends that when we started we all had five year olds and under and now those five year olds are turning 21 and they're still going out with us on the trail, you know, after their whole life, their whole life they spent hanging out together, tying knots, breaking open rocks that they found on the side of the road because they're hoping that they're going to be, you know, crystals inside, waiting in creeks and they're still hanging out together, going to the beaches and having bonfires with their girlfriends. And like, it's just, it's amazing and it can be done and it takes investment but, but it's real. Like that other life is out there for our kids and I believe that we can give them something better. And it's so possible when we band together as a community, as a group of friends, as a group of moms and we say, yeah, let's all agree that we're going to wait to give our kids. Like they're not going to communicate with each other on social media when they're in high school. They're just going to call and use our phones and yes, they can text each other, but they don't have to do it on TikTok. They can, can, you know, just like get on our phones and text each other. Imagine like creating that and giving it to your kids. It can be done. It's a gift. It's absolute gift. And it's out there. It really is.
- [57:40]
Ginny Yurch
It's like what Kim Jong Payne says. And I've said this on here many times, but I think it's one of the most important quotes and it's at the end of simplicity, parenting, I'm pretty sure. And he says when you rescue your kid's childhood, you remarkably, inevitably, day by day, rescue yourself back or rescue yourself as well. It's something like that. And I think the lie is that the screens give you freedom as a parent. And the lie is that the screens somehow make your life better too. But they don't. They don't because, you know, then you have a kid that is hard to deal with and is unruly and becomes violent. I mean, these are the things that are happening. And also their brain wiring changes. You know, you've got kids that their brain is wired for real life experiences. You talk about that culture is offering a growing list of subpar replacements. And so it's on our shoulders. It's such important work to help them distinguish between healthy relationships and counterfeits. I'm gonna get a little emotional because we lost our community. I know that we had due to this, that the youth pastor at our church just got charged with nine counts of criminal sexual.
- [58:49]
Greta Eskridge
Oh, my gosh, Jenny.
- [58:50]
Ginny Yurch
I did not know that on Valentine's Day. And Jenny, we tried to warn and we got kicked out of our community. And they said that we were liars and gossips, that we were distressing the fabric their community. And then they sent an email to the entire church, like the whole church, It's a big church. And all of the youth group parents and said that they made several attempts to have a meeting with us and we refused and we limited the scope of the investigation, which is just like a flat out lie. Like just a lie. It's a lie. And we lost that. We lost. Like you talk about, like, when your kids are young, they grow up together and anyway. But I think it's important to bring up because there were grooming things happening and we didn't know enough about it, though we did. We let the church know when our. One of our sons sent a letter and was like, I'm really uncomfortable with this man. And he confronted me when I stopped hugging him. And I mean, it was. It was all there. We sent. We all sent letters, our whole family. And then the truth came out, you know, months later after we've been kicked out. And they're still lying about it, but I. I am.
- [60:03]
Greta Eskridge
Oh my. I'm just. I'm so sorry, Jenny. I had no idea.
- [60:08]
Ginny Yurch
I think the point is, is that it can be anywhere and you don't expect it. Like, you don't expect it from the youth pastor. And you don't expect the church to treat you that way when you come with concerns. I mean, we obviously didn't have access to like his cell phone or his computer. But when things came out in the. We helped with the investigation with like the detective in our county. And it's like, you know, after six weeks, they found is nine felony counts, including tampering with evidence. And they all have to do with criminal sexual conduct with minors. And, you know, I think I'm glad for your book because like you said, sometimes it's just a total surprise. And you're not expecting it. But we, as parents, we have to know and we have to be aware. And I wasn't sure if I was going to go this route, but then I heard you talking about your community, and we lost ours. Like, the whole thing. And all we did was send letters of concern, which were valid. Yeah. And so I just, I. I cannot express how deeply I think that this book is important because you just don't know. And. And it's such a widespread problem that it can be people in the church and it can be, you know, the pastors that you think are supposed to be your shepherds, but really are the wolves. So.
- [61:22]
Greta Eskridge
Well, I mean, the reality of pornography in the church is devastating, and not always that it's someone who's a predator. I mean, that is a reality, too. But even just the amount of people in the church who are regularly consuming pornography and either don't think it's wrong or can't escape it because they have no help because the church isn't talking about it.
- [61:51]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah.
- [61:51]
Greta Eskridge
And it's a devastating problem. And. And I think that that's another reason why I want to talk about this, because it's time. Like the. The title of the book is It's Time to Talk to Our Kids about Porn. Because it's time. It's time for us adults in the church to talk about porn and to say, this is not okay. We need to help people who are hurting. We need to listen to people who are telling us something is wrong. It's devastating. And I'm so sorry for the devastation you walked through. And like, what you said, like, the grooming that's happening. Like, I mean, I. I have thought back to some certain scenarios that also happened at church where knowing this was so long ago when I did not have tools and knowledge. And I think, like, those things were uncomfortable and not okay. And I. I didn't see them as, like. Like, I didn't notice. I didn't know enough to recognize the potential trouble. Thank goodness we actually left that church and it didn't turn into something else. But that's why I have, in the book, like, I have a section where I talk about grooming and I talk about, like, sextortion, because those are things like, we as parents need to know about. And it's more than just telling our kids there's stranger danger. Like, a lot of times it's somebody you know.
- [63:17]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah.
- [63:18]
Greta Eskridge
And we. Then our kids need to know. Like, we need to know and they need to know. And I'm so. I'm just so sorry for what you walked through.
- [63:27]
Ginny Yurch
And I think it's not. I think it's not uncommon, if that's. That's like a weird way to say it, because it's a double negative. But, you know, we. Then we got. I mean, it's really been awful. I mean, people have, like, slandered us in the community, and, I mean, just lied that we're problem causers. I'm like, you know, it's such, like, an awful thing. Like, when you go and you're like, this man probably isn't fit to be working with children. You should probably investigate. And then they kick you out. And then he's a. He's a pedophile. And there's a church, a stone's throw away. Like, literally, you could throw a football. And they just had a man, Their worship pastor was videotaping people with a pen camera in the bathrooms and had been doing it for years. And, you know, this is a really big problem. It's a really, really big problem. And there is a verse that says that when you are in the way of life, it's in proverbs. You are in the way of life. You are also in the way of life for others, but when you are in the way of death, that you are in the way of death for others as well. And so we have felt, and I know a lot of people have. This is common. We have felt the ramifications of someone who was in the way of death.
- [64:32]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [64:33]
Ginny Yurch
And that has really piled on in our family, like, has been devastating. And so I so appreciate. I so, so appreciate, Greta, that you are opening these conversations. I know you'll be out speaking in churches. I know you'll be out speaking in schools. I know you'll be out speaking in communities to all sorts of parent groups. I know it's very vulnerable to share your own story. It's very emotional. You said you've been crying a lot. And I know, even just from the one podcast that you and I did, that there was so much nasty pushback. And I know. I know it's coming, Greta, but I want you to know that I'm there with you and for the sake of our kids and the grandkids we don't know yet and their kids that come after them. This is one the most important books that is out there. I think if you're listening, you make it a bestseller, because it has to be. It has to be. We have to change things for our kids. They are getting their childhood stolen from them. And in a way, that affects their adulthood for decades and decades down the road. The book is it's time to talk to your kids about porn. A parents guide to helping children and teens develop sexual integrity. I wrote the Forward and it's wonderful, which was such an honor. It is by Greta Eskridge. Go buy it right now. Buy 15 of them. Give them out to all your friends. Make it a community thing. Read this together. Have this be your summer book club, your spring book club. There is really not much more important than this. Greta, thank you so much for being here.
- [65:55]
Greta Eskridge
Thank you, Jenny. I just love you. Thank you for all you do. For all of us.
- [66:02]
Ginny Yurch
We did it. We grind through the whole thing.
- [66:05]
Greta Eskridge
Oh, I'm so sorry. I knew that you had, like, the part that you shared last spring.
- [66:13]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah.
- [66:13]
Greta Eskridge
About, you know, your kids leaving the youth group, But I did not know that whole other aspect of it, and that is just.
- [66:22]
Ginny Yurch
It just happened. It just happened in December. There was some sort of charges that got brought up, and he resigned immediately. And. But nobody even told us. No one even told us. Like, we had sent these long letters, like, this guy is not fit. There was grooming things. It was a lot of things. But anyway, no one told us. We found out secondhand. So then I went public because I'm like, parents need to know that if they come and raise concerns that they might just get kicked out and treated so awful. And then they, like, lied about us. And then we went to listen to the service where they announced it to the congregation. We wanted to listen online, but they didn't put it in the online thing. And they had. They had the cops called and they escorted us out. By police.
- [67:05]
Greta Eskridge
Are you kidding?
- [67:06]
Ginny Yurch
No, no. They treated us. You were in the right.
- [67:09]
Greta Eskridge
He was wrong. And you.
- [67:11]
Ginny Yurch
I know. They had us escorted out by police. It was insane.
- [67:15]
Greta Eskridge
Gosh, I'm so.
- [67:17]
Ginny Yurch
So then there was an investigation because some sort of allegations were brought. Nobody knew the specifics. So we had a couple meetings with, like, the detective and told them what our experience was. And on February 14th, so just a couple, like, two weeks ago, he got charged with nine felonies distributing obscene materials to minors. I mean, it's a lot.
- [67:35]
Greta Eskridge
Oh, and has anybody come to you and said, no?
- [67:38]
Ginny Yurch
No one.
- [67:39]
Greta Eskridge
Not a single.
- [67:40]
Ginny Yurch
Not to our children. I mean, they cried every night for six months. They lost all their friends.
- [67:45]
Greta Eskridge
This is disgusting.
- [67:46]
Ginny Yurch
It's disgusting. We're talking to these. I've learned a lot. This lady called Julie Roy, who runs this podcast called the Roys. We're report just her last name and about outing churches. And her thing is, like, we can't keep covering it up.
- [67:58]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [67:59]
Ginny Yurch
Like, Josh and I are planning on doing a podcast and putting it out there about our experience just because community matters so much and we lost our entire community. Wow. So, I mean, it's hard enough when you homeschool and then.
- [68:14]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah.
- [68:14]
Ginny Yurch
Gosh, it was so bad.
- [68:17]
Greta Eskridge
I can't. I mean, I can't believe it because I've read these stories and I mean, like, you know, I think the problem is, like, it starts from a guy or a girl who gets, you know, there's no. There's no help. Nobody's talking to them. There's no conversations. So they're dealing with this porn addiction as. And then it grows and. And we know, like, the more you use, the more you have, like, you're not. It's not enough just to watch something and. And it grows and it gets worse and more demonic.
- [68:52]
Ginny Yurch
Yeah. And then you're. It's involved with children and this guy's a youth pastor and. Yeah. And then you're like, I mean, for me, I'm at this point, I'm like, well, what are they covering up for something else? I mean, they are going to every length possible to silence us and to discredit us. That's what people do to victims.
- [69:08]
Greta Eskridge
Yes.
- [69:08]
Ginny Yurch
You know, they're. They're saying all of these lies about. And. And just. I'm mocking my parenting, you know, like, why are you even posting this? Shouldn't you be homeschooling? Shouldn't you be outside? I mean, it's like, like straight up mockery from the congregation. It's so bad. It's so bad.
- [69:24]
Greta Eskridge
Jenny, I. I'm so sorry. I'm just. I feel just sick with sadness and anger. Like, it just doesn't even.
- [69:32]
Ginny Yurch
Wow. But that's why the book is really important, because these conversations have to be happening in the church, in the home. Yeah. The grooming stuff, I think I. I didn't quite realize, like, yeah, the youth pastor came up. I was like, why? What are you saying to your son about me?
- [69:49]
Greta Eskridge
At home?
- [69:49]
Ginny Yurch
He used to give me these big hugs and he does it anymore. And he used to exclaim my name. And I was like, that's weird. And other people were like, that's really weird. Like, why, why does he care? Like, you're not there for the affection of a 12 year old.
- [70:00]
Greta Eskridge
No.
- [70:00]
Ginny Yurch
What is the deal? And he confronted our 12 year old too, and he came home sobbing. I was like, okay, so people need to know about this stuff. Yeah.
- [70:09]
Greta Eskridge
Yeah, they do.
- [70:11]
Ginny Yurch
Wow. So, Greta, you did it.
- [70:13]
Greta Eskridge
You did it.
- [70:14]
Ginny Yurch
It's here. The book is here. You did it. It's a really, really amazing, amazing thing. I feel honored that I got to be part of the journey a little bit.
- [70:22]
Greta Eskridge
You know, you're in my acknowledgments. You didn't. The you got an arc copy. The real copy should be coming to you, and it. It will have the acknowledgments in it, and you're in there. So thank you. Because you really have a part of of the journey, Honestly, like, there were just real significant people who spoke into me and helped me be less afraid, so, you know, thank you.
- [70:49]
Ginny Yurch
You are in the way of life for others. That's what you're doing. That's the verse. You're in the way of life, Greta. Thank you. I adore.