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The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
1KHO 492: Hard Things Are Worth Doing | Christine Alexander, Wonder and Wildfor
00:58:26
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- [00:01]
Jenny Uric
Hey, friends, it's Jenny Uric.
- [00:02]
And welcome Back to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. This episode is part of a special series celebrating the release of my brand new book, homeschooling. You're doing it right just by doing it. And here's the thing. This episode isn't just for homeschoolers. If you're a parent navigating the ups and downs of raising kids today, there is so much here for you. We're diving into real life stories, imperfect seasons, and how families grow stronger together, especially when life doesn't go as planned. And if you haven't grabbed the book.
- [00:29]
Yet, I hope you will.
- [00:30]
It's a heartfelt, practical and encouraging guide that's already being called a must read for both new and seasoned homeschoolers. And honestly, for any parent wondering if they're doing enough, you can find homeschooling. You're doing it right just by doing it. Wherever books are sold.
- [00:48]
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- [01:19]
Jenny Uric
Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Jenny Urch. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside and I have a dear friend on with me today. I just adore her. We, we have had like some of the most unique experiences together. Christine Alexander, welcome.
- [01:34]
Christine Alexander
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
- [01:36]
Jenny Uric
We have had just a kind of these bizarre run ins where like we've been at conferences together and one time we were sitting with Sally Clarkson and we were both so nervous. I think we were both like equally nervous. And so we were basically so glad to have each other because otherwise I'm like, I can't, I can't navigate this environment. I'm too nervous. And we've done water park together and we've done a farm to table dinner together.
- [01:59]
Christine Alexander
Delicious.
- [02:01]
Jenny Uric
Yeah, we've had some like fun, but random fun and random experiences together. And I've always just admired you. You're homeschooling your boys and you have your Instagram account which is beautiful. You're constantly putting out encouragement. You have your own podcast. Everything is under Wonder and wildflower. And I'll make sure I'll put all the links in the show notes.
- [02:20]
Christine Alexander
But we're going to be talking about.
- [02:21]
Jenny Uric
Homeschooling today, which I'm super excited about. I have a new book coming out. It's called Homeschooling. That's the name of the book. And you are just one of the people that's constantly encouraging and also giving your backstory so that people can be encouraged with the path that you come on as well. Can we kick it off with just a little bit of that backstory? From conventional education to becoming a homeschool mom and an outdoor advocate, you're like, I wasn't super outdoorsy, but you know, you're getting your boys out there and you say, it wasn't an easy decision or an obvious decision, but you're like, it was the right decision for your family. So give us what's the backstory there?
- [02:58]
Christine Alexander
Well, so when I met my husband, we actually met on match.com when it was still a website and not even an app. I told him immediately, I want to be a stay at home mom and I want lots of kids. And then when we had kids, he was like, I don't know. And then when daycare costs started to, like, he looked into that. He was like, okay, you can stay home. And then we never talked about homeschooling ever. It was never, never on my radar. I went to public and private. He went public all the way through. And then when our oldest, Judah, turned five and it was time, I was like, absolutely not. Like, no one can have him. I want him all day long. And I remember saying to a relative, I was like, like, they want me to put him on a bus with a stranger and just hope that they take him there. And then the day goes well, and I don't talk to him for eight hours. And then he comes home. And she was like, yeah, it's what everyone does. And I was like, I can't. Like, I can't do that. So we were like, okay, we'll just do it year by year. And Judah is finishing up fifth, what would be his fifth grade year. And our youngest is finishing up what would be his third grade year. And we've never looked back. It was never a conversation we had again. It was just, this is what is working, and this is what works for our family.
- [04:15]
Jenny Uric
We make that decision. And I think it's great to talk through what that actually looks like, so people are listening in, and we're sort of similar to you, Kristen, where we did it from the beginning. And I do advocate for that because, you know, and obviously some people are going to pull their kids out of different situations. But if you're in the spot where you get to choose and you haven't quite hit that age yet, it is kind of nice to start from the beginning, because you're not necessarily dealing with unlearning different types of things.
- [04:42]
Christine Alexander
Right?
- [04:43]
Jenny Uric
But you make this decision. You grew up doing public private. Your husband grows up doing public school. What did it look like at the beginning?
- [04:51]
Christine Alexander
So at the beginning, I asked a mom who was a few years older than me, had homeschooled her kids, and I said, what's the best curriculum? And she gives me the name, and she's like, it's the most, like, school. And I'm like, great. Done. Do it. Full box curriculum. It was fine, but by the end of the year, we were totally burnt out from trying to recreate school at home. And because I didn't really have a problem with school, I just knew I didn't want to send him. It took me a minute to realize that, like, hey, this isn't going to work for us. This full curriculum box. That isn't what is going to work for us. So it took a lot of trying different things and learning different ways of doing things, learning how he liked to learn. And then we threw a baby in the mix. And so it was a lot of just being really flexible and really trusting your gut when you're like, this isn't working.
- [05:41]
Jenny Uric
You know, I love that you said that, because I hear a lot of similar stories. And in fact, our story is the same. We bought this curriculum. It was called, I think, My Father's World, and it was like this big box that came for kindergarten. And I think we did, like, seven days or something.
- [05:59]
Christine Alexander
I don't know.
- [06:00]
Jenny Uric
I don't know what happened to the box. I mean, it was. I should have, like, probably sold it or. But you kind of have already. You used, like, a little bit of it. You know, it just didn't work for our situation. But it did give me something. It gave me something like, where I felt like I had something, and. And I. I think that that's a great way to transition into it, and you may stick with it.
- [06:19]
Christine Alexander
Right?
- [06:19]
Jenny Uric
The whole point is that you get to do it how you want to do it, right? You get to find what works for your family. So I love that you brought that up, because I think A lot of people feel like they should be more free at the beginning and it should be free flowing, but sometimes you need a transition, right?
- [06:34]
Christine Alexander
And I was so worried that I wasn't going to do enough and that, you know, he's supposed to be reading now and he's supposed to be doing this now. And I didn't know if that was going to happen when it was supposed to. Supposed to happen or anything. So I did. We did box for a couple. I tried different box curriculums for a couple of years and then I was just like, this isn't it. This isn't what's working for us. And I think with my youngest, he's definitely like a creative brain. And it was just like, this is absolutely not going to be what we use for him. So then we just started kind of learning more about living books and reading more and exploring that kind of thing. And then we found a thousand hours outside and we were like, okay, we're going outside. It was beautiful.
- [07:13]
Jenny Uric
You do see, you see that kids learn and grow and you learn over time to trust their path and what you're doing as a family for their education. So if someone's listening and they're like, I really want to try it, but I'm nervous. They could start with the box curriculum for several years. Maybe that's what you do forever.
- [07:28]
Christine Alexander
Right?
- [07:28]
Jenny Uric
Or even an online school. You could do an online school for a couple hours a day and then you still have that freedom to go play and have time and social interactions and things like that. Right. But I don't think that there's anything wrong with needing something to get you going and then adjusting as you go. What message would you give Christine to a mom who is like, gosh, that seems really risky to not really know what you're going to be doing, you know? So now you're talking about fifth grade. You're six years in and you're doing something very different than what you started with. That seems kind of risky, right?
- [07:59]
Christine Alexander
Well, it is, right? So I would say, one, trust your gut. Like, if you have even the smallest whisper that this is what you want to do, do it. And just say, hey, we'll do it year by year. And if we do kindergarten and we're all miserable, then we'll think, rethink it, but be willing to trust your gut and trust the holy spirit that's leading you and just be like, hey, listen, like, this is what we're going to try for right now. And if it doesn't work, then we'll figure out something else. And I would really surround yourself, find a community because that really helps to know that, like, hey, we're not alone in this. Like, no one wakes up with like rainbows and butterflies and homeschooling looks like magic every day. You know, some days are hard and I think especially starting out, you don't, you don't know what to expect. You don't know what your days are going to look like. But I think that the more you trust that still small voice telling you like, this needs to be different than what the world and what culture is telling us is the norm. We're not, that's not going to work for us. So what can we do to protect them that way and to keep them with us that way?
- [08:58]
Jenny Uric
I love that you said you don't know what to expect because that mirrors life. You don't know what to expect. You and you've had a really interesting, like, you've moved. You've got a great story of bravery and you've moved and you've done these different things. And like you said, we met on match.com. i mean, you don't know what to expect. You don't know where your life's gonna go and what's gonna happen. And so part of what's happening when you make these choices and you are willing to take risks and adjust and this is part of the book, it's something innately that you're doing, I would say right when you choose to home educate is you are living your life on full display for your kids. Yes, they get to see that. Oh. And whether or not they totally grasp it at the time, it's something that you, you know, you talk about over the years. Hey, you know, in kindergarten we did it this way. And now in sixth grade or fifth grade, we're doing it a different way. In third grade we're doing it a different way. And here's a little bit of why or here's why it's okay to adjust. Can you talk about that piece of it? Living your life in front of your kids?
- [09:55]
Christine Alexander
Yes. I will say I think I cried through most of that chapter because our life has been so lifey lately. So we lived in Maryland forever. Born and raised, kids are born. We lived on a family compound with my family. We homeschooled with my sister in law and my nieces. And it was beautiful and wonderful. And then Covid hit and we made a move to Florida, which has also been beautiful and wonderful. But hard, you know, it's hard to be away from People. And then last year, my husband suddenly lost his job, and we were without a job for eight months. And I don't know if our kids learned more ever than they did in that eight months. Like, living life where, you know. Yes, sometimes life looks beautiful and you're on a family compound and you're chasing butterflies with your cousins. And then other times, life looks like two stressed out parents who are, you know, on their knees and crying out to God, like, what are we gonna do? And watching them learn how to, you know, now. Okay, well, the budget has to get tighter, so what can we do now? What resources can we use? How can we change, you know, our lifestyle just a little bit to be more comfortable and to work new things in? We made more food from scratch because we weren't eating out. We went to more free library programs because we weren't doing all the other extracurriculars that were no longer room for in the budget. So that part of the book especially is just. It's so real and so true because everyone goes through things, whether it's a move or a new baby or. I mean, the year that we moved here, I think it would have been my oldest second grade year. Maybe I was like, I just need to make sure he's okay. I just need to make sure he's okay. So we didn't do any seat work, and we just read and snuggled and explained, explored our new surroundings and spent a thousand hours in the Florida heat and looked through swamps and went to, you know, alligator farms and just tried to nurture their little hearts because they had just left everything they had ever known, and so had we. So getting to live life with them and to let them see all these new, different things, that sometimes life is hard and sometimes it's a little sucky. But there's so much beauty in creating that firm family base and, you know, being able to let them see every little bit of it, you know, within reason, the struggles and the changes and all of that.
- [12:11]
Jenny Uric
What a thing to say, Christine. Second grade didn't do any seat work.
- [12:15]
Christine Alexander
No.
- [12:15]
Jenny Uric
And, I mean, there would be people that would be shocked by that. And yet he is. I mean, we've spent time with your family. Like, he is a tremendous kid. And now he's in the fifth grade, gonna be going into the sixth grade. And it. Like, it didn't. Maybe it didn't matter. It just gives people permission.
- [12:30]
Christine Alexander
Yeah. And I think that's a big thing with sharing and why I like to share our journey and share what goes on in my. You Know, I was following you and Ainsley and all that is, like, we have. There are people out there who are giving us permission who are saying, like, yeah, this is what culture tells us is normal. But these people have stepped out and done it differently. And my fifth grader can read and he can do long division, and he didn't do any seat work in second grade, you know, and it was okay. It looked different. And I think my husband was probably having a little bit of a heart attack during it, but it worked out. And he is. He's a beautiful, smart, amazing kid with no second grade seat work, you know?
- [13:08]
Jenny Uric
Yeah. I met this mom at a conference one time, and she told me that her husband passed. It was just a sudden, like a sudden thing. During the years that she was homeschooling, and she had these kids, couple, you know, four or five of them. And she said for that entire year, we didn't do anything. You know, we grieved. We laid on the couch and watched movies. We cried. And she said, they're all now in their 20s and they're all fine. They're all in careers and thriving and parents and these different things. And, you know, I think that people would be shocked, shocked to say you took a whole year, a whole year, and he didn't do it. You know, he didn't do the things.
- [13:44]
Christine Alexander
But then imagine if they were in school and they had to go back and they couldn't take that time to grieve and to heal. What would they look like then, you know?
- [13:51]
Jenny Uric
Yeah, it's.
- [13:52]
Christine Alexander
It's beautiful that she was able to give them that. I can't even imagine.
- [13:55]
Jenny Uric
Yeah. And to your point, all life has upheaval, and you talk about. Even talk about then through this situation of. Then all of a sudden you're not in your ideal life either, so you've moved. And then your husband loses his job. Now, losing a job is common. I've lost a job. I got pink slipped. In my teaching career, they call it pink slipped. I don't know if that's a thing that happens everywhere, but it's basically like they're out of money. You're not getting fired because you, like, were stinky at your job. You just. It's like budget. So I got pink slip. My. My husband's last to you. And it just happens. It's part of life. Even if you're a hard worker, even if you show up and you've got a good attitude, like, you. Like, the world is changing and people lose jobs. And then you went back to work.
- [14:34]
Christine Alexander
Yeah. That was wild. So I had been home since I had Judah, and prior to that I was a nanny. So I haven't worked in the workforce, gosh, in 12 years. I was. I worked hotel management before that, but then I was like, you know, a nanny. And then a moment, and it was really hard. Like, I cried a lot. We tried to wait it out as long as we could. And then, thankfully, the Lord put in our lives wonderful friends who own the best donut shop ever. And they posted that they were hiring. And I just text her and I was like, hey, you can say no, I understand. I haven't worked in forever, but can I have a job? And she said, yes. And they took me on, and they took me on, praying that my husband would get a job and that I wouldn't have to be there anymore, but they took me on and it was super, super hard to leave the kids. Thankfully, I work from, like, get up at like, 3:45am and I'm home by. By 12:30. So I still had my day with them, but it looked a lot different. I was exhausted and there was not a ton of seat work being done during that time either. But, yeah, letting the kids see, like, hey, sometimes we have two things we don't want to do and they're icky. And then also seeing the grateful heart behind it that, hey, these people took me on, gave me a job, helped keep our family afloat, helped keep their cars paid for and, you know, food on the table. But it was definitely a very. I think it was a very cool thing for them to be able to see and walk through us with, because then dad had to become primary parents. So then they're doing, like, really fun stuff that I don't always do. And they're going to the movies in the middle of the day and they're going to trampoline parks and living their best life. It was definitely an interesting transition and something that I think will eventually they'll be able to see as, like, a cool. A cool thing that happened. And when I was reading in your book about how you have to learn new things and parents are learning new things and letting your kids see you learn new things, they came to work with me a couple of times, and they got to see me decorate the donuts and make the coffee and. And do the fun things and. And so I think it is. Your book is just so spot on with what life really looks like. I probably cried through that chapter. Also.
- [16:46]
Jenny Uric
I love that you said, thankfully I got to get up at 3,45. But that is your point, that you have gratitude and that something worked out and that you were able to adjust for that time period and that you're. What do kids learn in that? They learn that, look, there's an answer. There's an answer somewhere. We're gonna find it, we're gonna do it, even though it's hard. And that you were willing to set down your vision of an ideal life for a season for the sake of the family as a whole. I mean, those are such big life lessons.
- [17:23]
Christine Alexander
Yeah. And it opened up a lot of doors for us, too. And it opened up a lot of, you know, I still work one day a week because I love it. It's fun. My husband does have a job now, but it's still, you know, it's something that I learned to love and like to do.
- [17:37]
Jenny Uric
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- [18:52]
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- [19:21]
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- [19:41]
Christine Alexander
Yes.
- [19:42]
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- [19:52]
Christine Alexander
And then, you know, new situations come up. I'm now an instructor of Families Unplugged at our local ymca. I would have never have thought to do that. It also reminds me that, yes, my. My plan, my vision, and what I thought the Lord had for me looked like this, but maybe there's some turns in the road that I didn't see coming that are also beautiful and cool and fun and may even make for a better life. Well, obviously will make for a better life than I had planned out for myself and we had planned out. And it's just. It's an exciting, cool thing to, like, walk through with the kids. And they get to come with me anytime. I work at the Y, so they get to do all the families unplugged programs, and it's super fun, and I think it's going to be, you know, a good fit. But it's something I would never have dreamed of if we weren't in the situation we were in last year where I had to start providing financially, you know?
- [20:43]
Jenny Uric
Yeah. And then your kids, they get to be a part of that. And these steps that you take, they get to see what you're doing and join in here and there, and there's a lot of value in that. So what are they taking with them? You know, when life throws a curveball, a job loss, the move, that there can be a silver lining in that you walk through it and you do the hard things and you don't know. You don't know what's coming.
- [21:03]
Christine Alexander
And that's exciting. You had a line in your book like the next brick, the next, you know, stepping stone to what could be. It's. It's a very cool thing.
- [21:12]
Jenny Uric
Yeah. Okay. One of the things that you talk a lot about online, on your blog, on your podcast, on Wonder and Wildflower, you talk a lot about screen time and especially with having boys and boys in the age that are in elementary school and so Boys are playing a lot of video games, do a lot to help equip parents, to set boundaries, to really think through what is their philosophy, what are their rules, what do they want their family time to look like? How have you dealt with screen time in your home?
- [21:39]
Christine Alexander
Oh, gosh, it was definitely a slow and steady kind of thing. We did not really limit screen time when they were little. Like, we. I didn't know. And they were like waking up at 4 o' clock in the morning, ready to start their lives. I am not a morning person, so that's so true.
- [21:59]
Jenny Uric
I love that you say that because I had a friend who had kids before me and she would say that they would wake up every morning and her son would watch like Thomas the Tank. Is that what it's called? The train thing, whatever that is in the movie? I think there must be a movie, I guess. I don't know. Anyways, and it was like an hour and a half. And she said when they got up in the morning, they'd lay on the couch and every single day they'd watch that. And I was so judgy. I was like, oh, like, you know, he was young. And then you have kids and you're like, why are they up this early? Like, what is going on? And you're like, totally. I totally get like, we start every day with the movie.
- [22:31]
Christine Alexander
No, they watched Wild Kratz for like three hours a day. Because from four to like eight, I'm not, I'm not functional. So it wasn't really until I would say probably close to 2020, I was like, something has to change. Like these little blue, I don't know, Kindle tablets are like taking over life and they're still little. I mean, Bennett was probably 2 or 3. And we just, we were like, nope, we're not doing this anymore. And then so we would start to limit. Okay, no TV in the morning. And I would still have TV on in the background. Like, I now I would take all the TVs out of my house if my husband allowed me. But back then I wanted TV on in the background. And so it was just a slow progression. So I would definitely say take it slow. You don't have to like go cold turkey unless it's a really big issue and you have a kid who's addicted. I, from your podcast, learned about Molly Defrank in her book Digital Detox. We did a two week detox. My kids learned how to rollerblade and ride bikes in less than 10 days. It was amazing. And so we actually do A two week total detox every couple of months. Right now our general rule is don't ask for screens and we'll let you know if you can have them. If mommy and daddy go on a date, then you can have PlayStation. But other than that, you know, it's just if we have them, if not, you know, we'll let you know. But I think it's definitely just being more mindful of. It's not just, you know, you want your kids to do something more productive. It's really affecting their mental health. And as we are seeing kids getting older and you know, working especially I have kids that come to order donuts that can't like look me in the eyeball and I'm like, it's just a donut, guys, you know, but it's, it's hard to see kids. I can't conversation with an adult without feeling totally uncomfortable or have their phone up in their face. So I think to really just keep in mind that it's so much more than just you want them to be more productive and not lazy bums. You want them to be able to talk and to express themselves and to explore their world, you know, and interesting.
- [24:35]
Jenny Uric
That you have that perspective. You're on the community. This is stemming back to the job loss and the donut place. And you're saying, look, you know, you start to see and you're like, you have kids you maybe would want your kids to emulate and kids that you're like, you know, that really might affect them long term if they can't order for themselves at the place. And you know, obviously kids have different situations, but you could see that that could be a long term ramification. So what would you say then to the parent who feels. And I think there's going to be a lot of them, Christine, who are like, it's too late.
- [25:03]
Christine Alexander
Oh yeah. No, it's not. It's not. And, and I think, because I would say so 20, Judah was six almost and Bennett, so Bennett was four. So they're a little bit older than I thought. It's not too late and think about the future. So if you say it's too late now, it's only getting worse, you know. And yeah, it's hard. It's not easy. I mean, when we first took, we used to let them play Roblox. I can't even believe it. And I saw a viral video that some mom posted about, you know, the dangers of Roblox. And I was like, that's it, you're done. And I told the boys, I'm like, hey, I just saw this. It's horrible. And horrible things are happening and they're like, okay, we don't even want play. So one, trust that your kid is more capable and smarter and understands more than you think they do. And they, they also don't want to be in danger. And one, when it comes to, you know, I hear so much, well, you know, my kid's not going to have friends or they're not going to be able to communicate. If that friend is worth keeping around, then they'll figure out a way to include your child, you know, and if not, then that friend probably wasn't worth keeping around. And we have this time with our kids to show them, like, hey, this is going to be really hard and uncomfortable for all of us. Like it wasn't fun taking their screens away for the first time, right? Like they're bored and they don't know what to do and everything is the end of the world. But then they slowly start to be able to entertain themselves and figure out what to do with that boredom. Like I said, My 8 year old couldn't ride a bike and he was so embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't ride a bike. I took away the screens for two weeks and he could ride a bike. It's so, so, so worth it. And yes, the first couple days might be hard and it might be hard for longer than that if your kid is older and more used to it, but it's incredibly worth it. And there's so many resources now and so many great books out there. And I think reading Glow Kids and Digital Detox, for me it was like that was all I just need to know that information. I need to know how dangerous this was for me to think my kids, it's worth it and the hardships and the fights are going to be worth it.
- [27:03]
Jenny Uric
Yeah, those books are life changing. Oh my goodness. Yes. Some of the best out there. Glow Kids and Digital Detox. So then it's like, well, how do you fill your time? You've got certain times where, you know, we're doing less seat work. We're not doing screens quite as much. How are you feeling your time?
- [27:18]
Christine Alexander
So we do a lot of just playing a lot. We lucked out when we moved. We moved next door to four homeschooled girls. So we, I'm like, get outside, go outside. We do a lot of outside time. We do a lot of the kids will just play in their rooms. I think that's one thing that delaying the screens and Delaying the social media. Like I have a kid that's about to go to middle school and he will play with action figures all day long. He will play with dinosaur toys all day long. And we're doing a lot of reading, a lot of audiobooks and a lot of play dates. You know, we meet up with our friends, they're in weightlifting classes and wrestling classes. They do coding classes. So we're not anti screen, we're just, you know, we want them to use it right. So they're getting ready to take an AI camp, you know, so there's, there's ways to. Isn't that cool? I kind of want to take it.
- [28:07]
Jenny Uric
Well, yeah, wait, no, I want to know more about that. It's about ways. How do you use AI?
- [28:11]
Christine Alexander
How to use AI. So they go to a coding school thing. I think it's a franchise. And right now they have camps and they are each taking two camps. One's doing like the AI camp. They're doing a 3D printing camp, filmography animation camp. And those are things that I, you know, I didn't think we'd ever be interested in. But seeing how the job loss and job changes and what's going to be around, I mean my husband worked for Google and there wasn't enough work at Google. You know, like that's a scary world to be in. So we want them to be well rounded and they need to learn how to use AI appropriately and you know what that can mean, mean for, for them as far as like coding and different computer science things. So I definitely think the idea that homeschoolers don't have enough to do is, is a little bit of a myth. And once they get used to not having the screens, they figure out how to fill their time. One of like the best ideas, I don't even know where it came from. For one of our kids birthdays and Christmas, everyone gives them science kits. We have never followed the instructions on a science kit ever. There's one in my backyard right now. It's blue and bubbling. I'm a little concerned about what's happening. But he just plays with these science kits open ended and makes a huge mess. But then he's learning so many things, he'll tell me things and I'm like, how do you, how do you know that? He's like, well I did this. I'm like, okay. So they will definitely find ways to fill their time. Your house might be messier, but it'll be worth it.
- [29:43]
Jenny Uric
It'll be worth it and I love that. Balance. I love that balance of like playing with action figures and also doing 3D printing. Yeah. And that's sort of what the lifestyle affords because there's time for that. And I read this book by Susan Lynn called Consuming. She has a lot of books, but one of them was called who's Raising the Kids? It was like big tech, big business in the life of kids. And also that she has one called Consuming Kids and she has one called the Case for Make Believe. She's got a lot of these really good books. But she talks about the loss of middle childhood. Like we are. We have completely lost middle childhood. And she says middle childhood is ages 6 to 12. So you're talking seventh grade. Like it is very normal. It doesn't seem normal now because kids are on screens and they're playing Roblox or different things like that. But it is super normal that a 10, 11, a 12 year old should still be playing in those ways.
- [30:34]
Christine Alexander
Yes. Yeah. I remember my niece played with dolls, oh my gosh, until she was probably 13 or 14. And I remember thinking, that's so different. But I'm. That's amazing. That's what you should be doing. That's so beautiful. And I think because of the delay of screens, you know, it just gives them that chance. And also they're not in school seeing other kids on their phone all the time. Our kids don't have phones. They don't have, you know, any access to that. And so they don't even really know what they're, you know, quote unquote missing out on. And I will, you know, of course they ask, can we get a phone? No, you can't. But, you know, because they're not out in the traditional school, they don't see, you know, kids, kids glued to their phones all the time. And when they did get a friend who got a phone, they were like, she's not fun anymore. She just sits here now. She doesn't play with us anymore. And because of that, she ended up losing her phone. Her parents end up taking it because they just saw the difference. They were like, you know what? You actually don't need this and you're going to be okay. And she's, you know, a teenager. So I think that safety of being able to keep them home you talked about in your book, you know, what they can avoid that social media, you know, enticement in what the social norms are, you know, norms are that they're learning from the social media stuff. And that's been a huge blessing too, especially in These middle ages, when it is so common for kids to have.
- [31:50]
Jenny Uric
Phones and social media, that's a lot of pressure. I always think about just the pressure to wear certain clothes and how much pressure you felt with that, you know, growing up. And then to attack on the piece of the phone is a lot of pressure. So you are. I think that we're supposed to safeguard our kids to a degree. There's a lot of time for them to go out into the world and have to sort through different people and personalities and this is the time for them to blossom. So, okay, we've talked a lot about then, you stepping out of your comfort zone. So you're stepping out of your comfort zone. You move. Then you're back in the workforce. And you even talk about getting outdoors. Now you've got these boys and people watch your videos. It's like you are just. I mean, you're at the beach. It is so much exploration. The videos are so enticing and they're so inspiring. But you would say maybe that you were not. Not a super outdoorsy person.
- [32:38]
Christine Alexander
No. My mother looks at me and it's like, who are you? Like, who are Jenny. I didn't even have flowers at my wedding because I didn't like them. I didn't like them. Now my whole brand is wondering. Wildflower. Yes. My bouquet was feathers because I didn't want flowers. So I was definitely not outdoorsy. I actually. My. One of my biggest regrets is I didn't go on a family vacation to the Grand Canyon because I was 19 and I went to stay home. I'm like, what is wrong with me? But yeah, after having boys, they're wild. My house would not sustain them inside of it. I can't remember if I had followed a thousand hours outside before my first bottom free conference or if I learned about it there. But I was like, this is amazing. Like, we need to be outside because you know it. You know, when you're outside, they're better, right? But putting a goal behind it and watching them just like literally live their best lives. I, like, gave up on having clean clothes. I was like, this is. This is just what it's going to be. And both of them now can see. And my oldest is like, I don't always want to go outside anymore. You know, he's. He's too cool for school. But once he gets outside, the mood changes. The sun hits their face and it's, you know, the world is better again. So, yeah, they have really pushed me into being outdoorsy. One of my favorite places that I so want you to come to is called Okefenokee Swamp park. And it's literally a swamp where you ride around in this little teeny tiny boat and alligators are all around you and you get to learn about the alligators and the snakes and I mean, it seems a little scary, but it's so cool. And it just, it really changed my life and who I am. I listened recently to your podcast with Holistic Hilda and I've been getting up outside and going out and grounding in the morning sun. And I'm telling you, after three weeks, I'm like a totally different person. I don't need a nap. I feel more awake. I feel more, you know, ready for my day. And so I think it just goes back to that education. The more you learn about something, you're like, wow. And then I think Holistic Hilda even said it like, just try it. Just try it and see what happens. You know, just try homeschooling. Just try getting outside more and see what happens. Because I think in most cases you're gonna blossom, you know.
- [34:53]
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- [36:15]
Jenny Uric
I love what you said about how he said I don't always want to go. And that's something that people ask a lot. What if your kid doesn't want to go? I was like, well, they never want to go. Yeah, who really wants to go? I mean, it's hot. You're talking Florida. Like, who really wants to go. You want to stay inside. It's air conditioned. There aren't any alligators or mosquitoes or big snakes or anything like that and. Right. Did I say Florida? Did I say Michigan?
- [36:36]
Christine Alexander
You said Florida. Okay.
- [36:38]
Jenny Uric
In Michigan, it's cold, you know, so it's like, well, who wants to do that? It's freezing out there and it's gloomy and it's dreary. You know, for the most part, people don't want to go. But you said, like, you said it so perfectly. But as soon as you're out, as soon as you're out, then you feel better. So you have to step over that threshold especially. It's interesting that we're in like these opposite climates.
- [36:58]
Christine Alexander
Yeah.
- [36:59]
Jenny Uric
Where, you know, in Michigan, the winters are really cold, and in Florida, the summers and the springs and the falls are really pretty hot. We've had some of our best experiences outside in Florida. I mean, we have had so much fun there. Can you talk about, especially coming from Maryland and having this big change in terms of climate. Can you talk about how to deal with. I don't know if you would even refer to it as inclement weather, but like, I mean, we came to Florida one time in June and it like monsooned like every day.
- [37:31]
Christine Alexander
It's been doing that here too.
- [37:33]
Jenny Uric
Like, you get soaked and then it stops. What's your advice to people who live in a. In a place that has these sort of more extreme climates?
- [37:41]
Christine Alexander
I would just be prepared, you know, like the more if you got a poncho or a raincoat or just, you know, watch the weather. I mean, a lot of times it will monsoon, but for 30 minutes and then you're good. I also, we just got ready, like, okay with being wet and being hot and being sweaty and, you know, keeping. I call it a go bag. Like a go bag in my car of like a change of clothes and deodorant. Because you are always going to need extra deodorant here, especially if you have boys and just being like going along with the adventure. And it might not look super awesome in the moment, but those are some of the best ones. You know, there's a fort here called Fort Clinch, and it's got this old fort and it shows how soldiers lived. And it's all like a recreation thing. It's very, very cool. But it's a thousand degrees there no matter what. And so we just know, okay, we're going to for clinch and we're going to spread to death. But we have ice cream afterwards and we're gonna go into the ocean afterwards, and it's gonna be okay. But I think just getting out and then trying to be a little bit prepared, having the change of clothes, having. Always have snacks, just snacks. And even. Even the ones that you don't really like to buy because they're not that great for you, like, if it can get you through that next one, you know, always have water on hand. But, yeah, just having the. You have to change your mindset that, like, hey, sometimes this is gonna be not all that pleasant. It's gonna be very hot, but you're gonna. You're gonna have fun. Eventually. I mean, my kids will complain about going, like, I'm like, hey, we're going to the beach. We live, you know, 15, 20 minutes from the beach. I don't want to go to the beach. I'm like, what do you mean? What do you mean? I want to go the beach. It's beautiful. But once they're there, they don't want to leave. So, yeah, just be.
- [39:16]
Jenny Uric
It's.
- [39:16]
Christine Alexander
You got to change that mindset that you can. You can do it. You can do hard things, and hard things are worth doing, and they're fun, you know, eventually.
- [39:22]
Jenny Uric
And once you get there, it Usually the attitudes of everyone change. And it also is interesting that, you know this place that's so hot in the summer and so hot in the spring and in the fall, it's like, there are so many beautiful springs in Florida. I think you have to take the good with the bad.
- [39:38]
Christine Alexander
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I love it in comparison to the gloom that is up north for most of the year, but, yeah, there's so much to do. I mean, I would never have. If you would have told me five years ago I was going to hang out at a swamp with alligators. I've been like, you're silly. But I do, and I love it, and it's so fun. And, you know, you. You learn more about yourself. You grow and develop. The kids are growing and developing, and, I mean, bug spray is really important here. But, yeah, you figure it out, and you just. You just go with it. And there is so much beauty, and there is so much to learn, both in Maryland and Florida, you know, in Michigan, I'm sure. So, yeah, you just have to kind of just be willing to go for it and to see what happens and. And keep going. Like, don't. You know, I think once they get into a routine of like, hey, we have to be outside for at least a little bit. One rule is if they have not been Outside, there is no chance of screen time, not even a little bit. So, you know, keeping those things like, well, we know what to expect and we know we're going to have to go outside, so let's do it and utilize those early hours before you're, you know, it's a thousand degrees and they're learning.
- [40:46]
Jenny Uric
They're learning grit, they're learning resilience, they're learning to be uncomfortable and you are as well as a parent. Everyone's learning those things. I think Florida has the most spring of any state. And do you know that there's one called Ginnie Springs?
- [41:00]
Christine Alexander
I've actually been to one. That one. That's the only one I've been to. We have a goal of going to more this year, but I have been there and it's beautiful. And the manatees, like, swim with you.
- [41:10]
Jenny Uric
Okay, I'm going to tell you the other ones you have to go to, but they're not in your area. They're more in the Orlando area. But there's also one when you cross 75 into Florida, there's one called Madison Blue Springs State park. And it's like the. Voted the nation's best swimming hole. It's absolutely stunning. But there is a spring in Apopka called Kelly Springs or I don't know what it's called. It might be at Kelly Park. Anyway, it's a natural tube ride.
- [41:35]
Christine Alexander
Oh.
- [41:36]
Jenny Uric
You put a tube in at the top of the spring and it takes you around and there's otters swimming.
- [41:42]
Christine Alexander
That sounds fun. I want to do all the springs. But then you also want to wait until it's a thousand degrees so the springs feel good. You don't want to freeze.
- [41:49]
Jenny Uric
It's true. One time we were at a spring. Oh, it was at that one in a Popcorn. And one of our kids did get attacked by red ants.
- [41:57]
Christine Alexander
Oh, yes. We. We didn't know that ants bit until we moved here. We didn't know that was the thing. Everything bites here, though. Everything. Like, I swear, ladybugs bite. But my youngest did not wear shoes ever until we moved here. I thought it was a sensory thing and he just couldn't take him. And then he stepped on red ants and then his foot was like this big for like a week. And now he wears shoes and socks everywhere he goes. Because you learn, you learn. You figure it out.
- [42:27]
Jenny Uric
Yeah, those things, I mean, those things itch for a long time. But that, but that spring. And then we've been to one. There's a couple of them, I think, that have the manatees. And then we went to one where it was like this huge pool. Like, I mean, it was so big, it looked like a pool. They made it. You swim across it, take you 10 minutes. I mean, it's that big, the spring. And then they had this restaurant. They're called the old Sugar Mill Restaurant, I think, anyway, your tabletop is a griddle and you make pancakes.
- [42:50]
Christine Alexander
I've heard about this. Yes, I.
- [42:53]
Jenny Uric
Do you want to go there? I mean, Florida has got all these cool springs, and I think it's. If you're listening in, it's like, no matter where you live, find the cool things that your state has, and that's going to help excite you about getting out and going and doing the fun things, even if the weather is not the most ideal. And that is the truth. I mean, it is so hot in Florida. It gets so cold in Michigan, but there's still really, really cool things that you can go do. And you are helping lead the way and always showing, like, the time at the ocean. It's just so enticing. Let's hit one more topic here, because it's one of the things that you talk about quite a bit, and it's about community.
- [43:28]
Christine Alexander
Yes.
- [43:28]
Jenny Uric
You talk a lot about the role of adult friendships and community in helping to sustain a thriving homeschool or family life. You did a post about it called Finding your sunshine about creating community. Can you talk about why this is really hard these days?
- [43:42]
Christine Alexander
I think it's really hard one because of our phones and social media and everyone is just on their phones, scrolling through. You know, you're in a waiting room, you're not talking, you're scrolling. It was really important for us when we moved here. Our plan was just to be here for seven months and try it out. But I thought, you know, I don't want my kids to be without friends for seven months. Like, that's a long time.
- [44:04]
Jenny Uric
That's our wait. That's a random amount of time.
- [44:07]
Christine Alexander
So it is in Florida, you can not rent for six months. You have to rent for seven.
- [44:12]
Jenny Uric
Okay, okay.
- [44:14]
Christine Alexander
No, it is a super random amount of time. So I was like, we have to make friends like we had, because our friends. Kids will be their friends. You know, that's how it works when they're this young. So thank God I was in the pool and met, you know, who's now one of my best friends. Three days after we moved, and they had just moved. I think that's the beautiful thing about Florida, too, is that so many people moved here. Especially, you know, after Covid and everything, think that everyone's a transplant. There are very few people who are, like, born and raised here, at least in our area. So everyone's looking for that community. And it was just so important for us to find that community for ourselves, but then also for our kids. And the Lord was so good. We've met, like, the best and coolest people, and we have great friends with great kids, and our kids have really thrived and have, you know, made really great friends. But it's so important because we are going against the cultural norm. And yes, homeschooling is more popular than it ever has been, but it's still, you know, you get the people like, you do what you. What you don't send your kids to school. Are you going to? No, I'm never. I'm never going to. So to have that community of people who are living life the same way that you are, with the same hopes and dreams and goals, 1. It really helps with the screen thing because I think a lot of homeschool parents, I'm sure not all, you know, do, you know, buy into the less screen, more outside, you know, no social media, no phones, you know, and then also just like, how you want to raise your kids. And, you know, you talk a lot in your book about the bullying. And we don't really experience that, you know, as homeschooled kids. And the one time my kids did, they were like, what just happened? Like, they didn't even understand that kids could be that way because they hadn't experienced it. And now as they're older and they're in more situations where they're at, you know, with other kids and not just their little homeschool communities, they are seeing different behaviors and they're like, oh, we don't like that. Like, that's not how we treat people or that's not what we do. But having that community one for especially, you know, mom's, typically the ones home or whichever parent is homeschooling, that is really important to have someone to bounce ideas off of, to say, like, is your day going like this? Because mine's really hard right now. What are you doing for that? This? Or. And then just too for your family and your marriage and having good, solid friendships, you know, that you can that care and invested in your marriage, care and invested in your family. You know, you go through job loss and you go through, you know, we've been through. I think we've been through all of the things and having those good friendships there to Be like, hey, like, this is really hard, and I don't know what I'm going to do or how we're going to get through this. Can you pray for me and people who love you and your husband and your kids? It just makes life so much more beautiful and easier to navigate if you have. But it takes vulnerability. It takes saying things like, hey, I'm. I'm not sure what we're going to do, or, hey, this happened in my marriage, and I don't want to tell anyone else about it, but I need you to know and I need you to be praying. It takes vulnerability to let people in. But once you do and you've let the right people in and you find. You talk about how homeschooling helps kids find their people and get that exercise into finding your people, that's so true and so beautiful that they get the time to figure out what. What kind of kids they want to be around and what behaviors and things that they like and don't like. I mean, my son came home crying from wrestling the other day, and he's like, I just don't understand why this kid can't be encouraging. Like, he doesn't understand why kids. Kids aren't always encouraging and why some people aren't always nice. And so, yes, they're being exposed to different people, into different behaviors, but they're learning. Like, that's not my people. And so being able to. I think, as you put it, I think your mom says, the lid to your pot. It's one of the things I say all the time. You know, you get to find the lid to your pot, and you get to find those people who really are there for you and for your family and love you guys. Well, and it's so, so important and so, so helpful to get through life, you know?
- [48:10]
Jenny Uric
Yeah, you talk a lot about it, like ditching the small talk and being vulnerable and saying those types of things. And also, I mean, I do think that you bring that up. It's such a good point. It's like noticing when it doesn't click.
- [48:22]
Christine Alexander
Yes.
- [48:22]
Jenny Uric
And what do you do? And being a little bit more like, I feel in general, we've had some really hard friendship things, and I've had to learn the real. A really hard way to be a little bit more aware. Aware of, you know, and not just sort of diving in with both feet and. And really looking for, are we a good fit? Am I a good fit for that person? Are they a good fit for me? And for your son to say, you know, Some people would maybe not care if they're not being encouraged, and some people would. And so for him to be able to realize and say that, you know, that kind of really bothers me. You're kind of on the lookout for who you're going to click with and who you're not going to click with and vice versa. And you really did it. I mean, you made this big move with two, like with little kids and you're homeschooling and you're doing life differently and you found your friendships by really, by outdoing. You were in the pool, you had to go out and do stuff.
- [49:12]
Christine Alexander
Yeah, we had to get out there. We had to put ourselves out there and how to talk and, and be friendly when. When sometimes, you know, you don't know how people are going to respond to that. But we, we've lucked out and really met a great community. We've been through some hard friendships stuff over the last year also, but the kids have been like front row for that. And we've had to figure out, well, how do we. Do we have a birthday party, do we invite this? You know, like, those are really tricky things, but it's something that they're going to have to navigate on their own one day. And by letting them sit in and see us navigate, you know, this. Whatever tricky thing happens, or, you know, they have a falling out with a friend. Well, well, how is this falling out worth the friendship? Or do you. Do you need to come back and have a conversation and let this person know how you felt? So talking through those big feeling things too, really helps. And, and they get to see, you know, both sides of that.
- [50:03]
Jenny Uric
I think the lesson that some friends are for a season is a really big lesson because otherwise you can kind of think like, oh, something must be wrong with me, or, you know, and some friends last for a really long time and some are just for a certain season, and that's normal. And I think a lot of people go through that. And when it's out of the construct of a K to 12 education system, like that happens because of the school system, right? So you were in second grade, you sat next to this girl, you really liked her. And in third grade, she was in the other class. So you kind of don't really get the sense that friendships might just end, right? Not based off of the fact that she's in a different class or you're in a different grade or they moved. It's like sometimes friendships just run their course and that's a normal thing. And to know that friends are for. Some friends are for a season and some friends are for longer.
- [50:52]
Christine Alexander
Yeah, absolutely.
- [50:53]
Jenny Uric
They're learning a lot of social skills through that modeling and through doing it together and having all of those conversations. Can you give a little bit of advice to a mom who wants to homeschool but feels their life is too disorganized or unstable?
- [51:06]
Christine Alexander
I would say if it is on your heart at all, at all, do it. Just do it. Your home does not have to be perfectly organized. You do not have to. You don't even have to have the right career curriculum or the right, you know, books in your library. Just do it. Take the year and just trust. Trust that little whisper on your heart that this is. This is something worth trying. Your kiddo is worth trying it. You'll get it figured out eventually. You know, you are. You know, we're six years in, and our curriculum changed again this year. You know, we. We move. Made a different switch. It's more about the connection and protecting your child and keeping your child with you and loving on them and just love them. Well, take the time to, you know, what they. I guess they call d. Schooling. Take the time to. To unlearn those things that. Because even though I, you know, never put our kids in school, I was in school, and so we had to unlearn those things that we think are so normal, and so, you know, on. On time. So I would say just trust. Trust that. That inkling in your heart and go for it. And if you hate it in a year, then. Then reconsider. But I can't imagine that they would.
- [52:16]
Jenny Uric
You know, and you can reconsider it anytime. People move all the time. So you could reconsider it in three months. You could reconsider it in seven months. You could reconsider it at any time. There's no signing on the dotted line. And I always say, like, this is probably gonna sound awful, but, you know, I think people are nervous that if they try it. Let's say they try it, right, Christine? They try it for seven months or eight months, or they try it for a school year that. I guess that is a school year year. So they drive for a school year, and then they're. They're like, I hate this. I want to put my kid back in. They're like, well, what if they're behind? And then it reflects poorly on them and they feel embarrassed because they. They were the ones that was a teacher. But I'm always like, well, then it's not your problem anymore.
- [52:53]
Christine Alexander
Yeah, it's Not. It's. It's really not. And I think, too, we get so concerned about being behind. And I know you talked about it in your new book. The. With the reading. Both of my kids did not take off reading until they were close to eight. I didn't even know Judah knew how to read until you start reading Netflix captions. And I was like, you can read that. Like, because with me, he was like, cat hat. And I was like, but then with watching TV with my mom, all of a sudden he can read all these captions. They are learning and getting so much more than we ever will realize. And they will be okay. And if you are putting them back in school, that is not your problem anymore.
- [53:32]
Jenny Uric
And honestly, you have to know that in the school system, even within one grade, there is so much variability of. Of skill level and competency. So it's fine. They're just going to assimilate right back in. So don't let that be the thing that stops you, that fear. And you follow. Follow what Christine has. She's got her blog, she's got her podcast, she's got her Instagram. And it's all encouraging. It's all a reminder and a consistent reminder that, like, you're doing more than you think and that your kids are going to be fine and that you're. You're looking at this vivacious life and you're like, yeah, that's what I want. That's what I want for my family. That's what I want for my kids. It's called Wonder and Wildflower. And I'll make sure I'll put all the links in the show notes. We always end our show with the same question. The question is, what's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside.
- [54:13]
Christine Alexander
Oh, so I have a super fun one. My parents, when I was, like, in seventh grade, they built an addition to our house. And my bedroom window walked right out to the addition. And so me and my best friend Erica used to sleep out when they addition part, like, without the roof. And we were so excited. We thought we were so cool, but we could see all the beautiful stars. My parents live, like, backed up to a state park, so we had this, like, beautiful state park behind us. And then once the roof was on, we were very sad, so we moved. My dad put hammocks out for us so that we could sleep outside. And I think we did that for most of seventh and eighth grade, but it was the coolest.
- [54:55]
Jenny Uric
That is the coolest. Christina, it is an honor to be your friend and to know each other and have had these fun, just really random experiences together. And homeschooling brought us together. And those are the types of things that you never know. Like this is going to bring you together with some of your people as the adult that's listening. And there's a huge blessing in that, too. Thank you so, so much for taking this time to be here and to give your wisdom and to share your experiences and to encourage people into the life that they really want to live.
- [55:23]
Christine Alexander
Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm so honored when I got your text message. You're so, so sweet. I'm so happy to be here.
- [55:34]
J
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