← The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
1KHO 598: Let Beauty Do Its Work | Ruth Chou Simons, The Way of the Wildflower
00:56:25
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- [00:03]
A
Adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained. One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. New team. The new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you. Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Jenny Urch. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside and Back today. What an honor. Back today, Ruth Jo Simons. Welcome.
- [00:40]
B
Oh, it's so good to be here. Thanks for having me.
- [00:43]
A
It's really cool because I have admired your work for a very long time, long before we ever connected. Just so beautiful what you put out into the world. And for me especially, like, I don't really have that in me. Like, I'm not good at the beauty and the. I mean, those things are important, you know, and, like, you're just so good at it. Like, from your. Everything from your style to your artwork to your. The background that you're sitting in right now, it's just really well put together. And I talked to this man recently named Arthur Brooks, and he was talking about how beauty really can be an antidote to depression. And we just don't have enough beauty in our lives anymore. Beauty coming from nature, just beauty in general. I thought, gosh, that was really powerful. So then we got to meet in person, and I was like, you've got these rings and such a cool, cool style. We got to sit on this panel together. We just gotten a cross path in person as well, so what a gift. Thank you for being here.
- [01:32]
B
Oh, you're so kind, Jenny. I admire you, girl. So I'm. I'm telling you, we are all just gifted in different ways. I just happen to like to communicate through a whole bunch of artsy aesthetics. That's just kind of the way God made me, I guess.
- [01:46]
A
Yeah. And bring all of this beauty into the world. You've got a. A wonderful story. We've talked about some of your other books on here. When Strivings Cease. Gosh, I love that title. Comes from such a beautiful hymn. So we've talked about that in some of your other books, but you have a new one coming out. You're a mom of six boys, and getting outside with them also allowed you to have a lot of beauty in your life through flowers and other parts of nature. Like, you gotta get outside when you've got six boys.
- [02:12]
B
Right. I mean, I didn't think I was signing up for this life because I was like, you know, having boys, it's, it's going to be so fun. It'll be, it'll be fine. They're going to wear overalls and it'll be little, little gentlemen. No, they're also into dirt and high country excursions and they want to go where there's like no bathrooms, no air, no anything. And so they were. I'm always outside with them and it's really given me so much. It's been so life giving in a way that I didn't expect. And I really allow that kind of rhythm in our family to inform the way I work as well. Because since I'm working in a digital world all the time, I'm like looking at my phone, looking at my laptop all the time. As a writer, as somebody who's working online, I have to get somewhere where there's no cell service. I have to get outside, away from it all. But also it really does inform me to like behold and observe what God's created in ways that I wouldn't otherwise I wouldn't be able to just from a Google search, you know. So it's, it's been really good.
- [03:17]
A
Yeah. I love this book that you have coming out. It is stunning. And I only saw the PDF version, so I can't even imagine how it is in person. In print it's called the Way of the Wildflower Gospel Meditations to unburden your anxious soul. It is stunning. Everything from the section headings to all the wildflower paintings in each of the sections of each of the little chapters or devotionals in the sections has a flower, a wildflower that goes along with it. And it is just gorgeous. And that whole thought of having more beauty in your life, it matters quite a bit. We talk a lot, Ruth, about how when you get kids outside, it helps their cognition and it helps their physical bodies and it helps their emotional health and it helps their social skills. But for families that are interested, it also really helps with spiritual formation because God graciously gave us so many of his principles through his creation. And one of the things that I've thought about often is this verse that you have written about in this book where it says, consider the lilies of the field. That's an action word. Like that's a prompting to consider something. Now in general, we don't consider a lot in this day and age because things are so technology saturated, so you don't really have a lot of time to consider. But I always say, like, how can you consider the lilies of the field. If you're not outside, how can you, the birds of the air and learn these incredible lessons about being cared for. They do not labor or spin. Yet Solomon in all his splendor was not, you know, decorated or raid as, as one of these flowers that's here today and gone tomor. So can you talk about that? This is really a big premise of this book, the Way of the Wildflower. There are spiritual lessons embedded in God's creation.
- [05:00]
B
Yeah, yeah. I've always loved that section you quoted out of the Gospel Writers. All record it because Jesus is teaching. It's called the Sermon on the Mount. He's like sitting or standing on a mountainside or a hillside and, and he's teaching. And right before the passage you are quoting, he says, who of you by worry an hour to your life? If you can't even do that little thing, why do you worry about the rest? And just full stop. Ruth Joe Simon stops and goes, yeah, I've been worrying constantly, trying to add a little happiness, add a little extra time, add a little extra self worth or whatever it is that I'm trying to add a little bit more. And Jesus is calling out like, why do you worry about everything? As if you can move the needle and kind of change your whole life by controlling everything and worrying. And it's right after that he says, consider the wildflowers. Or consider. Or he says, consider how the wildflowers grow, or consider the lilies of the field. They do not toil or spin. And so he's basically, you can imagine Jesus sitting on this hillside and he's basically pointing over there and saying, we're already outside. We're already having this conversation. And he says, look at those flowers over there. Do they look like they're stressed out? Do they look like they're spinning around and around going, what am I going to do today? How am I going to be enough for what I'm supposed to do? Am I going to fail at this job? Am I going to, you know, they don't say any of those things. Things, they're just blooming right where they're planted. They're. They have exactly what they need to thrive. And there was no one but the master gardener, as in God himself, that supplied them with what they need. There was no, you know, there was no one going out there fertilizing it or making sure that they are growing in the right season. They're in. Wildflowers just grow. And so I think what's so amazing is that as Jesus was teaching, I think he knew that his listener and we are just incapable, capable of understanding something without a analogy or a visual connection or a metaphor. That helps us, like, embrace and get. That's the best lesson, right? Is when we can visually tie in. And he's making the point. Look at the birds of the year, just like you said, they really are just, like, free. And look at these flowers. Look how beautiful they are. We all know their flowers are gorgeous, but did you have anything to do with it? No. God designed them that way. And I think what I love about reading that passage, but then also being challenged with the fact that I spend most of my time, if I'm not careful, looking down at what human beings have created, what I've created, what the Internet's telling me to pay attention to, and what. What God is again and again calling us to is, look at the up in the sky, look out into creation, be filled with what you had nothing to do with. Because when you get outside, you start realizing how small you are, not in control you are, how much you need to let go of things that you really can't be the hero of. And so. So I. I think that's kind of just one of those main paradigm moments in our family where we just say, there's no way, like you said, to consider how wildflowers grow if we don't get outside and notice how God's creation, it leans and depends on God himself.
- [08:21]
A
The kids are outside for four to seven minutes on average, and on a screen for four to seven hours. That's a spiritual problem. God's calling is for us to go and to consider and observe. I'm just going to read it. Read the whole passage. It says this. And Jesus said to his disciples, this is Luke 12:22 out of the Amplified Classic. Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious and troubled with cares about your life as to what you will have to eat, or about your body, as to what you will have to wear. For life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Observe and consider the ravens. For they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn. And yet God feeds them. Of how much more worth are you than the birds? And which of you, by being overly anxious and troubled with cares, can add a cubit to his stature? Or which is such an interesting. A cubit to his stature? I just watch. I saw this video, Ruth, of someone. They're doing, like, leg. Leg lengthening surgeries.
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B
Oh, my goodness. Yeah.
- [09:12]
A
And then you can't Walk, it's going to make you taller. But you, you know, there you're walking with a cane now for the rest of your life. It's just really wild. Which of you, by being overly anxious and trouble with cares, can add a cubit to his stature or a moment of time to his age, the length of his life? If you are not able to do such a little thing as that, why are you anxious and troubled with cares about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow. They neither warily toil nor spin nor weave. Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory, his splendor and magnificence was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so close the grass in the field he clothed the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will he clothe you? Oh, you of little faith. And so I do think this is God's calling for us as parents to be getting our kids out into creation. There are spiritual lessons and we are supposed to consider and observe. And you cannot do that when you're playing Minecraft and you cannot do that through video games. And this is, I think, something that's key, that's missing for our kids. And so your book would give a framework for a family to do this. So I want to talk about some of the amazing thought provoking wildflowers that you brought up and ties to spiritual lessons. One of them that I never considered, Ruth, was this concept of not shrinking back. You like, I never thought about this, but the wildflower doesn't really apologize for its beauty, for its, for its vibrance. I thought, gosh, that's a really interesting parallel. I think, especially for women. I feel this. I'm like, you know, you kind of.
- [10:46]
B
Shrink back or if you have special, like, things that make you stand out differently. I think about the columbine, right? I've. One of the flowers I painted was a columbine. It's the state flower here in Colorado. It's real extra. Ginny. It's so extra. I mean, if you look at it, you go, okay, well you're not like, you know, the cosmo or the poppy, they all have a couple of petals and they array all pretty and they have a center. Well, this one is like, what's going on here? There's like these loop de doops and then there's these really pokey things and they just look like, like something out of the animal kingdom in flower form. And you're like, you're real extra here and yet there's no. There's. They're not even small. They're not hiding behind a rock. They don't just tuck in somewhere. They're just all out. And I. And I'm personifying the flowers because I think sometimes I just take it real literally when God says. When Jesus says, consider how the wildflowers grow. And so I'm like, well, I'm considering. And I'm considering how these wildflowers are so vibrant, just the way God made them. And, you know, no one's trying to be just like somebody else. They're really who. Exactly who they are.
- [11:59]
A
Yes. And I think you can see that in nature. Like, God could have made one type of tree or one type of spider or one type of apple. But you write in this book called the Way of the Wildflower, the number of wildflower species in the world is so immense that many have yet to be named or cataloged. You're like, ruth, how can it be 20, 25? And there are more wildflowers out there that are yet to be named. And Kat, who gets to name them? I'm like, I want to find one, give it a name. In the US alone, in the US there are approximately 20,000 species of wildflowers. What a message that God gives about individuality.
- [12:38]
B
Yes. And all designed oftentimes specifically for their ecosystem and to contribute to their ecosystem.
- [12:47]
A
Right.
- [12:47]
B
There's. There's so many layers to God's creation where he knows exactly what needs to ultimately turn into the mulch that goes in the woodland, you know, ground floor, and how that will fertilize the next set of trees. And those are things that I. I'm no botanist, and I'm not a. You know, I'm no expert, but I just have read enough to realize, like, there's a purpose for every single being and every single creature and create part of creation. And the wildflower plays a part in that as well.
- [13:18]
A
Wow. And as a parent, you know, you've got six sons. They're individual. Not one comes out a carbon copy of the other. They're all.
- [13:28]
B
There are some. There are some similarities. And by the time you have six, I'm like, whoa. There are some pairings that I'm like, well, genetically, I can see how you. But you're right, they're. They're in completely unique and individualistic. And I have to really encourage them and remind them, you don't need to be like anybody else. And God designs you exactly the way you are.
- [13:49]
A
That's right. That's right. So the book is called the Way of the Wildflower. And these I want to give an overview and we'll talk about some of the specific ones, just like how we talked about that one a moment ago. But each section heading is a way. So the way of dependency, the way of freedom, and then you have the way of resilience. These are really important topics today. And how amazing that you can learn these through flowers. The way of the unhurried, the way of belovedness. And each section, Gosh, Ruth, I was so impressed. I was like, this is so relatable. Like, when you need someone to care, when you're afraid of the future, when your brokenness feels heavy, when life takes an unexpected turn, when you've been wronged, when you feel misunderstood, when you have regrets. I how I was actually super impressed at how I'm always impressed when someone can be like, I will grab out every relatable thing of everyone's life experience and put it in a book.
- [14:43]
B
Well, Jenny, so first of all, all 30 of those are things that I personally am learning and growing in. But I also, you know, in researching this book, put out there for my social media followers, like, tell me what consumes your mind? What are you worried about? What are things that you get anxious thoughts about? And some of these roast to the top because the reality is for some of us, it's not like, oh, it's just a season. No, the, the pain that we're enduring is not a seasonal thing. It's. It's chronic. For some of us, we're going through a circumstance that it's not going to just pass in the next two weeks. And for a lot of us, Christian community is hard. I never thought I'd write a when Christian community is, I think I called it difficult, baby, or I can't remember. But you know, the thing is, I wanted to be as specific as I could and yet give as great of a viewpoint of how God is who he says he is in each and every circumstance. And yet we can learn principles from both the wildflowers and God's attributes to really recognize how he meets our needs, how he gives us freedom, how he provides in every one of those circumstances that sometimes we feel like, oh, this is so. It's causing me so much heartburn and anxiety and yet I don't know what to do about it. And there's always an answer through God's word.
- [16:06]
A
Yeah, there is. And it's such a reminder and such a beautiful reminder. And you have all these quotes in here, like, wildflowers don't care where they grow. Dolly Parton, which that I feel like is like a bad thing. You know, you can be out where you are. You blew up bloom extravagantly, and no matter if anyone's looking at you or not, you just exist. You do your thing. And these are all really important life lessons. You know what I love about this time of year? The air gets crisp, the days feel cozier, and suddenly I realize, oh, right, the entire family is coming over. Hosting is such a joy, but it can also feel like a marathon if your home isn't quite ready. This year, I got ahead of it all with Wayfair, and honestly, I don't know why I waited so long. I found the cutest light fixture, some wreaths, and a new comforter set for our guest room for when our son's friend came and stayed with us for a week. And that made it feel like a little bed and breakfast. Everything came fast, shipping was free, and it all looked even better in person. The Wayfair really has everything you need to make your home holiday ready. Like Christmas trees, cookware, throw blankets, twinkle lights, even those little touches that make your guests say wow. Whether you're hosting family dinners, cozy movie nights, or welcoming guests from out of town, Wayfair makes it easy to make your space shine without blowing the budget. So don't wait until the week before Christmas. Start now. Enjoy the process and make your home a place you can truly settle into this season. Get organized, refreshed and ready for the holidays. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair every style, every home. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hello friends. Ginny here. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, and this year we're saying a big heartfelt thank you to therapists. Think about it. Behind every story of healing is a therapist who showed up, who asked the right questions, who provided a safe space to let the tears fall or to celebrate a small win. Those moments change lives. I've had them myself. Sometimes it's just one gentle insight that lingers and helps you take the next step forward. Better Help wants to honor those connections and the therapists who make them possible. Over 5 million people worldwide have been helped on their mental health journeys with better help, making it the largest online therapy platform with over 30,000 licensed therapists. They're committed to matching you with the right one so you don't have to navigate that part alone. And if your first match isn't quite right, you can switch anytime. So today let's pause to thank the therapists who want to make the world a better place. So today let's pause to thank the therapists who make the world a better place. And if something's weighing on you, know that talking to someone can help. Remember, World Mental Health Day is this month and we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you are ready to find the right the for you, better help can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month@betterhelp.com 1,000 hours. That's BetterHelp H lp.com 1,000 hours. You know, healing takes courage, but it also takes the right support. And sometimes it even takes a puppy. Capstone Wellness is unlike anything I've ever seen. For over 24 years, Capstone has helped thousands of families by combining faith, clinical excellence, and some truly creative approaches to healing. At Capstone Treatment center, teen boys and young men struggling with trauma, mental health or addiction are given something extraordinary, a Labrador retriever puppy. On admission, that puppy stays with them through the program and goes home with them when they graduate. It's not just a dog, it's a partner in responsibility, in attachment, and in bringing families back together. And if residential care isn't what you're looking for, vine and Roots intensives offer individuals, couples and families months of world class counseling packed into just a few concentrated days. It's designed to trace hurt back to the roots and begin real healing. Healing is possible. Start your journey today@capstonewellness.com 1000hours. That's capstonewellness.com 1000 hours. Can you talk to us about friendships? Because one of the sections was about when friendship is inconvenient. And of course, here you are an author with six children and you're painting. I mean, I can't even imagine, you know, like most authors, they just send in the words and then someone else does all the rest of the work. Right. You know, it's like the layout is so beautiful. So you have to be thinking through.
- [20:27]
B
It is a lot.
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A
It's a lot.
- [20:29]
B
It's a labor of love. I will not lie. It's a lot.
- [20:32]
A
Yeah, you have to like painting constantly and it's got to fit within this framework. So you're talking about friendship and you say if you're in a season that includes any combination of child rearing, career building, purpose finding, needs meeting, faith building, caretaking, life, managing ministry, Sustaining drama, recovering marriage, investing, relationship, preparing, painting. You know, you don't have much margin.
- [20:53]
B
No.
- [20:54]
A
Of you, of all people with six children and doing author plus, you know, author plus painter plus. You have, you know, your, Your business and you've done tons of books. Can you talk about the relationship with the wildflower, which is when you're talking about the morning glory, which. I love the morning glory. And you know, how and why do we maintain those when we're so busy?
- [21:17]
B
You know, I think one of the things that I've learned and I. I try to remember about that is that every season has its purpose. And I don't have to have every friendship in every way. I want friendship in full bloom all the time. They're just like a morning glory. Doesn't bloom all day and all night. It closes and it changes as it. As it's designed to. I think one of the things that I've really learned is that I don't need a lot of friends. I can choose to just invest wisely in a few, but also locally, as in, I'm not going to find my. I mean, I have wonderful friends through online relationships, but I need people in my everyday life right down the street or right within my church community or. And how I invest there wisely will affect other seasons as well. And so in part, it's just adjusting even my expectations for how in bloom a relationship needs to be at all times. There are seasons, good friendships can. Can have times where everyone's patient with each other's schedules, and then there's times that we come back. And I think as it relates to morning glory, I think a lot of times we just realize that, like, there are times when it has to be a little bit more quiet, and there's times that it's in full bloom. And yet we can really appreciate the rhythms of friendship and just choose wisely how to actually be in community, be vulnerable in friendship, and give what you hope to receive, but also ultimately to recognize that we're not looking to friendships to be God in our lives, to be our all satisfying, all fulfilling needs. And so ultimately we can be blessed in friendship without having it be the end all, be all of. Of of our satisfaction.
- [23:09]
A
Such important reminders. And I love the morning glory, so that's actually one of my favorites. It's one of the first things. I've hardly grown anything, but I've planted morning glory seeds. And people are like, don't do it, because they're gonna just come back. You know, they're like, gonna call them Weeds, right? They often tell them, yeah, but we plant that. We try and plant. It's never happened, but it's because our property is, like, so overgrown. I think, like, the plants are like, I don't really know what to do here, but we'll plant them sometimes to. To climb up the stalk of a sunflower. And that's a really good reminder, that particular flower, because it does open in the morning for all of those morning scriptures that are in the Bible. In the morning. I layer my request before you and wait and expectation, those types of things. But I love that you wrote about even with the morning glory, because people do say, like, it comes back and comes back like a weed. Right. It's like, it's there. You plant it once, you're gonna have to be ripping them out later on, you know, if you want to get rid of it. But you. You talked about how that some friendships can thrive in poor conditions, and I thought that was a good reminder, like, you know, the expectation.
- [24:12]
B
Yeah, thanks for reminding me. I actually had forgotten that aspect of that because, you know, I literally cannot remember every single fact that I wrote about all these. But you're right. Like, that. That aspect of it is what's fascinating because morning glories usually grow up where people don't even necessarily want them to be there, but they just thrive in. When you neglect them, even. And so. And that's not, you know, prescriptive. It's not like, wow, we're going to neglect our friendship, but rather that really true. And good friendships can even thrive when things aren't the easiest, you know. So thanks for reminding me that it's a good.
- [24:47]
A
It's an important reminder. And those, I think, are your good friends when you're like, gosh, you know, we haven't seen each other for four months because this and this happened, but we can still get back together and rekindle our relationship. Are one of the ones that's kind of near and dear for me because we're approaching graduation. This is our first time.
- [25:06]
B
Ruth.
- [25:07]
A
Oh, wow. Happening. And I'm not feeling.
- [25:09]
B
Are you okay?
- [25:12]
A
I. I am, really understandably so. You know, you. You like.
- [25:16]
B
Like the.
- [25:16]
A
It's like the first day of senior year, and you're just setting up senior pictures. And I thought, well, we've homeschooled. And then I know you homeschooled some too. You kind of are like, well, gosh, I'm gonna get all this time with them. And, yeah. You really, truly feel like I didn't get enough time.
- [25:29]
B
It wasn't I know I have a senior this year as well and he's a dual enrolls homeschool senior. So it kind of just started. It wasn't some big momentous moment because with homeschooling sometimes we're just kind of eeking. We're, we're working through different seasons anyway. But I was gonna say, Jenny, do you think that the emotions. I'm gonna, I'm gonna interview you back. But I guess for me, I think people thought that I would be emotional because I'm letting go of, you know, he's going to move away or he and some of our boys didn't even move away. But I think it said when you're really close as a family, the heartbreak sometimes is that your family will never look quite the same again. It's not that this, I don't, I'm not excited for this child to go discover or fly off. It's. It, it's just things change. Things are changing and seasons change and I don't know. Are you feeling those feelings?
- [26:22]
A
I feel the same because we had our like a family vacation up to the upper peninsula of Michigan and we actually went twice because I really love it up there and it was kind of a last minute. We went up for Labor Day weekend as well. But both times not all of our kids came. One of them had volleyball and then the second time, I know oldest one, he had stuff with friends and you're like, well, you know, they're hitting that point of adulthood and that's the decision they want to make. And I totally get it. And what's interesting is for them, this is what I've always felt about for people that move away. So if someone moves away, well, they're not thinking about you at all.
- [26:54]
B
Right? So true.
- [26:56]
A
They're like, well, gosh, they got new friends and new relationships and new teachers and new jobs and. And off they go. They're going to explore a new area in your left with something that looks remarkably different and you have to adjust to it. And that's what you talked about in this book. You had a section that was called when you feel far from home. But then particularly for your situation, it's like, well, when home feels different and you wrote this, in many ways home no longer feels the way it once did for me. How do you adjust?
- [27:30]
B
I'm still in the middle of it. My oldest is 23, has permanently truly moved out. Is a big boy job with a, with an apartment and all that. And, and I still have a 12 year old old at home. And for the 12 year old, his whole, his whole home has changed. He was the youngest of six brothers and now he doesn't live with all those brothers anymore and it feels different. And so, you know, I think, I think sometimes naming the feeling is helpful because I think for, for me at least a lot of times I just feel like I'm a little blue and I'm not sure what's going on. And then you throw in perimenopause and that's a whole other story. But it's just so interesting how great timing, Lord. Think, right? I'm thinking that exact thought.
- [28:13]
A
Leaving. And my hormones are changing.
- [28:15]
B
I know I've been, I've been, I've been sending him the memo. I'm like, lord, how is it that I'm dealing with hormone things? And then, you know, my kids are dealing with hormone things and we're also launching kids all at the same things, same time. But, but you know, I think part of it is naming it and saying. I think what's making me feel odd in the season is that I haven't made, you know, an idol of my home, but it's what you've given me to steward I. All these years, in the last 20 years, I've been stewarding this thing called home. And just like you, Jenny, really, really assessing is this the best home environment? Is our home environment going to be one where we have devices out all the time or are we going to spend every weekend outside? You know, those are, I mean, I love that our, our families are similar in that, but we choose to constantly go outside. And so even that feeling of going wait. But now that adventure is not all eight of us anymore. That adventure is only part of us. And so my home feels different. How I rest is different because that's how we Sabbath. We spend a lot of time away from all our work and devices and, and so I think it's really just a, a tender realigning of. My true home is not circumstantial. And that's a really hard lesson to learn. My true home, what I most grounded to and what gives me the most life and what will forever be the safety and the belonging I long for is not connected to whether my kids are right next to me, whether or not my home, my house, feels the way I want it to. It doesn't even, it's not even connected to location or a season of life. I can be truly at home even if all that changes. Am I a work in progress in that? Absolutely. I'm still learning that as I go. For sure.
- [30:02]
A
I mean, we even talked about, you know, you're going on this trip and to not. To not have one of your kids there or two of your kids there or three.
- [30:08]
B
Yeah.
- [30:09]
A
Like, do we even go. Should we even still go live life? Because you're like.
- [30:13]
B
Actual questions.
- [30:14]
A
Yes.
- [30:14]
B
Right. Actual questions. I mean, we did that. We actually took a. A trip to Europe in which my oldest, at the last minute, was in grad school and researching, and he's like, I can't go, you guys. I mean, was I throwing a temper tantrum? And a little devastated. I admittedly so, because I was like, like, wait, what? You. We're not going to take a family vacation if one of our. You know. And then Troy goes, babe, we actually are still a family and we can still make memories. The rest of the boys are really excited about making these memories. And I'm telling you, mom went kicking and screaming. I. I was not okay with my little imperfect scenario. And so I've had to grow in this a lot.
- [30:55]
A
Yeah. Like, how can we make memories as a family if the whole family is not there? But then you're like, well, what's the alternative? I mean, they have work, they grad school.
- [31:03]
B
I know.
- [31:04]
A
Have their own family.
- [31:05]
B
Yeah, it is.
- [31:06]
A
It is quite the adjustment. My midwife, she is wonderful and has worked with, you know, all these, like, hundreds of families. And she told me that someone said to her once, but I was like, this wasn't enough consolation that I needed. She was like, well, the oldest one had you by themselves. And so it's basically like, well, now the youngest one. And I was like, but it's not the same.
- [31:26]
B
Not the same.
- [31:27]
A
I'm used to having this many people. People around the dinner table, and, you know, so I wonder.
- [31:32]
B
And the dynamics. Yes. All that.
- [31:34]
A
Yes. The flower is the blue bell. The blue bell. And you talk about humility, gratitude, everlasting love, but a beautiful depiction of heaven. And to your point, it's just always a realigning. This is not our forever home.
- [31:48]
B
Yeah, I love. I. I think I end up quoting it, like, every single time I write a book, because I can't help but just help us always realign our minds to this. But, you know, C.S. lewis says. He says if I long for something that nothing in this world can satisfy, the only possible explanation is that I was made for another world. And then there's another quote that I. I'm going to butcher and I'm not going to do well. But he also says, you know, that We've only kind of tasted something from a faraway land. We've only gotten a sense scent of the flower that is we're really made for. I'm totally butchering the quote, but the picture he's presenting is basically, we've only barely even gotten a glimpse of what we're really made for. And so we keep trying to hold on to these things that feel like safety and home and belonging and worth and value and all these things. We're not trying to make idols of all these things in our lives. But we start feeling like. But, but, but, but, but, but my wonderful children, they're. They're really what make my life worth living or, or this community or this gifting or my marriage or whatever it is that is lovely that you're getting to spend your life nurturing. And yet even that is just a glimpse of what is truly satisfying, what is truly forever, and what is truly good. And I think I just have to daily remind myself that God is calling every day into order with some grand sunrise. And that is a daily reminder for me, even through that part of creation, that he's like, I am already ahead of you here. I am so much bigger and better than your little idea of what home really is. And so that's how I get through this. Seasoned little by little. Yeah.
- [33:45]
A
We are only scratching the surface of this book. I want people to know, like you said, there's 30, 30 wildflowers. I mean, it's just one after the next. And you really relate to them. If you're anything like me, your kids can spend hours outside rolling in the grass, digging in the dirt, and finding every single bug that's in the yard. Honestly, I wouldn't trade it for anything. That's the good stuff, the stuff I want more of. And that's exactly what earthly believes too. When you love nature, you start to trust it. And that's how they make all their products. Simple, plant based and straight from the earth. Their herbal remedies, lotions, and even cleaning products are made with ingredients you can actually pronounce. No junk, no fillers, no nonsense. I wanted my family surrounded by nature, not chemicals. So using earthly just made sense. My husband was skeptical until he caught a cold that was going around and I handed him feel better Fast one night, a few drops and by morning he was hooked. Now he's the one reminding me not to run out. And honestly, they're way more affordable than the over the counter stuff I used to buy. So if you're looking for clean, natural products that actually work and fit real life in really muddy kids. Check out earthly.com that's E-A-R-T-H-L-E-Y.com natural living made for real life. Abercrombie Kids knows how to make outfitting easy. Mix and match set are their ultimate outfit hack for fall. Their sweatshirts and sweatpants are super cozy and they always have the cutest colors and patterns. Shop fall's easiest outfit at Abercrombie Kids in the app, online and in stores.
- [35:31]
B
When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone.
- [35:49]
A
All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn more@WhatsApp.com I'd love to hit at least one more. We'll see how much time we have. But you talk about and I had followed your story a little bit with this about when life takes an unexpected turn. Oh. And it's, you know, it's one of those situations where you're just like plugging along, plugging along and then something happens and you just are thrown for such a loop. And in your case, I remember seeing it your son and, and these are the tricky things, Ruth. It's like you want them to be out there adventuring, but there is some risk involved. And he has a mountain like injury.
- [36:29]
B
Yeah. I am not a helicopter mom. I, I saw that, that kind of movement happen in that generation where, you know, moms were so super scared of their kids doing things. I was never that. I don't know why. I just let them climb rocks and scrape their knees. But this felt a little different. You know, he was three weeks into his freshman year in college and we live in Colorado. He was going to school in Arizona, so he was a state away. And you know, in mountain biking, the goal is to actually go down a mountain or, you know, you're not on flat. That's, that's not, it's not road biking. And so he was taking a jump on some steep slope and came off his bike and landed on his head. So he went over the handlebar, landed wrong. He has one of the, you know, we get, we make sure that all the boys have super good helmets. And I even cracked the helmet. So like it was top of the line helmet and it was still cracked. And he was with His. His older brother, my second son. And I'm so glad that Liam, our second oldest, had the wherewithal to keep him stable until search and rescue came, because they were out in the wild, you know, and because he, you know, we're the family, that's kind of like, it's gonna be fine. Just shake it off. Just a little boo boo. We don't need to go to the doctor. And he actually shattered his spine. And so. So much so that he was transported to the first ER. And that ER, the doc came on FaceTime with us and basically said, mom and dad, you're gonna have to get on the plane right now because we're actually sending him to a more intensive trauma unit where he's going to have to have surgery. And so this was. It happened to be four days before my first children's book came out called Home is right where you are. So I was literally about to launch a book about. About how wherever my kids ever go in life, that they. If they make their home with God, they will always be truly home. That was literally the message I was about to send out into the world with the children's book. And I was packing to go on a book tour, and I got on a plane, went to Arizona. I took my paints with me, Jenny, because I was in the middle of this. This deadline. So I was in the middle of needing to finish this book that we're talking about, and I was like, I have no idea how long I'm going to be here, so I might as well bring my paints along. And from the ICU where he would be fused, he would be out in the OR getting fused together. I started painting the flowers for this book. And I can't tell you how interesting it is when God requires you to live out the message you're writing. So if I'm writing literally about how to unburden my anxious soul and trust God who cares for the flowers of the field and the birds of the air, this was a moment that I had to say, you know what? I can't control this. And I can worry myself silly about this, or I can remember that in the same way you provide and you take care of each wildflower out there, you're taking care of me, and you're taking care of him, and you love him more than I do. And so, just as a reader, I hope anyone who is listening, if you read my book here, just know that these flowers were painted from that context, that the very first flowers were painted actually from the ICU on a Little hospital table. Because God just put it in my life that I had to live it out as I was painting those very flowers. And praise God, he is recovering well. It's been almost a full year. And what was sacrifice was a lot of. Was he. He didn't make it through school very well. He tried to go back, and that was definitely a really hard thing for him to face, was that he was not going to pass all his classes the way he had hoped. Um, but physically, he still struggles with some pain, but he has mobility and he's not. He doesn't deal with numbness or paralysis. So we're really grateful because they weren't sure about that. So I can really be grateful for that.
- [40:35]
A
I mean, you can't even imagine it's hard enough to send him off three weeks into the freshman year. Does you know, you're still in that. That probably adjustment phase of that. They're gone. There are stayed away. They're not with you. How quickly life can take an unexpected turn. What an interesting thing, too, when you talk about it, like, from your perspective, but then from his perspective as well. It's like for both of you, life takes this unexpected turn. So we all need these messages. We need them for us, but our kids also need them. You talk about Columbines. We talked about that earlier. What's a cool thing, too, is, Ruth, that you can get all sorts of messages and life lessons from God's creation. So when you were talking earlier about Columbine, you're like, look, I mean, it is an. It's extra. You know, it is like this, like, whoa. You know? But you also say that it's like. It's this juxtaposition of a dove and an eagle. Peace and strength, you know, that we can. We can be in a spot where we're not in control, but we can also still have faith. Fear and faith, this combination. I actually really love when you said, I might as well bring my paints along. Well, that's actually really powerful, Ruth, isn't it? Like when you're in a spot. Well, first of all, it's a reminder to have something that you can bring along, something that calms you down, something that you enjoy, something that is physical, that's tactile. Right? Like there's a book by a woman named Kelly Lambert, and she talks about how when you do things with your hands, it releases dopamine in your brain.
- [42:04]
B
Oh, absolutely.
- [42:05]
A
Not scrolling. But painting and kneading your sourdough and crochet and cross stitch and playing an instrument yeah. Like the fact that you had something and I know you had to do it, but you took it along. And so in those seasons of life where life takes an unexpected turn, what a gift to have something that you can take along.
- [42:27]
B
And I think that's the thing is, is even if I didn't have the deadline, I think packing just a small little kit of any kind, because you realize like the, the default tends to be to scroll. Doom scroll. To basically numb yourself. But I think what God really allows for us to do is to be multifaceted and to have. When we're super worried and super scared, to have other ways to express and to kind of shift your gaze. And for me, it was that I actually pulled up images of exquisite wildflowers while I was sitting at the. In the hospital unable to change the future and really say, okay, let's study these flowers and, and paint them as I go.
- [43:15]
A
Yeah. It's a reminder that when you have children and for yourself to invest in a couple of those things. There's this woman named Melanie and she talks about how kids should have. Have three to five hobbies.
- [43:27]
B
I love that. Yeah.
- [43:28]
A
The screen manufacturers are trying to make it so that kids have no hobbies. None. People in general have not one hobby because they want all the time to go to the screen. And you can just see how in a situation where you have no control, where you don't know what the outcome is going to be, what a gift it is to say, I might as well bring my paints along. It's a reminder that we should make sure that our kids have something like that, something tangible, that when they find themselves in a situation where life has taken an unexpected turn, they have something that they can take along with them that can shift their gaze. So good. So good.
- [44:02]
B
Jenny, I love that you picked that out. I mean, that's so powerful. And I, Well, I always find you so brilliant because you just really, you've learned so much. And I'm always learning. Whenever I come on here with you, I'm like, I learned so much from you. So I, of course your listeners know that. But you're so brilliant. And I just, just love that you picked that out because I hadn't even thought about that as being such a, A provision from the Lord that I even had a little, that I had this interest or hobby and that I had a little to go set that is ready to go. You know, if you, if anyone listener happens to be into watercolor, you can buy aqua pens. You know, it's a brush connected to a. A little well of water. And that's really on the go go. There's little watercolor kits, or you could just even pack a little, you know, pencil box or a little pouch with your crocheting needles and a little tiny bit of yarn. There's so many ways in which I actually recently was in, I think REI and I saw a little waterproof, almost like a field notes, but like a little notebook. And I picked some up because I was like, you never know when you're going to need to take a few notes while you're tromping through the stream. And so having those, those things around, I think it's just so interesting because it reminds you, like, just, just choosing to invest a little bit doesn't cost that much to have a few things in a little pouch that you can just pick up or keep in your tote bag. I think it just reminds you that you don't have to have a perfect scenario in which to log your thoughts. Create a little sketch a little, think out loud or, you know, create in. In a different environment. And so having those little bits and pieces in a pouch is so great. So thanks for bringing that up. I love it.
- [45:46]
A
It's so good. It's like people have those go bags, like, if the world ends.
- [45:49]
B
Yeah.
- [45:49]
A
You know, you got your bag, you're gonna grab, you know, it's like similar, right? We have your, your to go bag when life changes, and all of a sudden you're gonna really need that thing. And it's just a reminder, like, let your kids learn how to braid bracelets and all of those types of things that people used to do. And then they have that. They have that as something that they can go to when they are in a spot that they have no control over and they don't know what the outcome is going to be. So, so many beautiful life lessons in this book. I loved the part about the decades. So one of the ones was about when you're facing a big decision, what do you call them? Chapters. I'm dancing around the word and I'm.
- [46:28]
B
Like, yeah, I know what you're saying. I mean, yeah, I call it the meditations because I love, I love the word devotions as well. But I think sometimes devotionals are meant to be like, just a sweet little thought. And I think within each meditation, there's actually even a short little devotional thought tied to a wildflower. But I call them meditations just to kind of give the intention that slow down, slow down and really meditate on it. Chew on it. Did you know that the word meditate. I was learning this when I was thinking, when I was studying the word. You know, meditate through the psalms. The root word there is actually the word for regurgitate. So, like, this idea of chewing the cud and bringing it up again and again, isn't that wild? Like, when you say meditate on the word, it's really to, like, chew on it and then chew on it again and, like, chewing the cud. Right. So isn't that interesting?
- [47:22]
A
Yes, it's so interesting. I just talked to this man. He's so brilliant.
- [47:26]
B
Ruth.
- [47:26]
A
His name is Dr. Bruce Perry, and he's done all of this work about trauma in childhood and how that really affects their learning and their behavior and just the way that they relate to the world. It's. It's fascinating. He's written all of these books, and so I had an opportunity to interview him, and I thought that was mainly what we were going to talk about. But what he really focused in on is sort of the educational system that our kids are in and the way we try and move kids through information. And he said that what you really need. And he kept saying this phrase is dosing and spacing. Dosing.
- [47:54]
B
Oh, okay.
- [47:55]
A
You have to give a little dose, but they need a lot of space.
- [47:59]
B
Yeah. To chew the cud that I. I've seen it again and again, both in homeschooling with our boys, as well as just my personal spiritual growth that I. I can either read and be like, get the information. Get the information. But if I'm going to actually change, if there's going to be transformation in my life, then I've got to chew the cud and bring it up again and then re. Meditate on it, Fix my mind on it over and over. So I call them meditations for that reason.
- [48:25]
A
Okay. I love it. I feel like I was botching it, like, every time I was gonna say one of the.
- [48:28]
B
No, no, you're doing great.
- [48:29]
A
Okay. So this one is when you're facing a big decision. And I really liked that you outlined this, because sometimes when you hit these milestones in life, you almost might feel like you're doing it wrong. You're like, well, why haven't I figured my life out yet? I felt that about a lot of things. I'm like. Like I'm in my 40s, and. And we're gonna. We're moving. We've got all of our store stuff in our home. So we finally. It's been like five years. We're gonna Be able to move it out, and we're gonna be able to have this little guest room. And I'm just not good at that. Like, I'm not good at the decor. I'm gonna call my friend Sarah. Cause she's really good at it. But, you know, you're like, gosh, you think, well, by the time I'm this age, I should have figured out this, I should have figured out that. And not only have you not figured that out, but then you have new questions. So really help me feel more normal.
- [49:14]
B
I cannot tell you how much I thought that I would near. I'm a, you know, turning 50, and I thought for sure I was gonna get to this point and be like, now I know what my life is all about. And I'm like, okay, there's this thing called the second curve where you actually start all over again. And I'm like, I actually think that I'm about to hit my second curve here. Like, I'm really, like. I'm assessing a lot of things. I'm really considering, you know, what the second half of my life is about. And so, no, it's. You're. I'm still facing big decisions. I'm still figuring it out for sure. Yeah.
- [49:50]
A
You say we will face big decisions at every age and every. Every stage in every season of life. The 20s is like, who am I going to date? What's going to be my career, where I'm going to live? The 30s is where we going to raise our family. How are we going to raise our family? You know, who is going to be around me when I do that? The forties. I like this. The forties. How will I invest in my talents? What an interesting thing. It does. It does come back around a little bit, doesn't it, Ruth?
- [50:14]
B
It does, yeah. You start wondering because now that you kind of know how to pay your mortgage, you start going, well, why am I who I am? Like, what am I supposed to do with these giftings and these interests? So, yeah, your 40s kind of become that time.
- [50:29]
A
I just restarted piano lessons, and it is an absolute delight. And in fact, our middle daughter, she sings. And so I get. This is, like, the thing I'm most excited about. So there's this piano competition. Now I can't do any piano competitions because I'm way too old. So there's, like, this piano competition in Michigan. It's a music. It's some sort of a music competition. It's in February, so I don't totally know what I'm talking about, but so the. Some of our kids are going to play piano, but there's also vocals. And so I'm going to get to accompany her.
- [50:58]
B
Oh, what?
- [50:59]
A
I get to be a part of it?
- [51:01]
B
What a joy. That's so fun.
- [51:03]
A
What a joy.
- [51:04]
B
Love it.
- [51:05]
A
How will I invest in my talent? So if you're listening and you're in your 20s or your 30s and you're feeling, like, a little lost or the things that you used to love to do, you don't get to do it as much anymore. Know that they come back around.
- [51:16]
B
Absolutely. There's still time. Not everything's for every season, for sure.
- [51:20]
A
That's right. That's right. And then your 50s, which you're not in yet. Where and how will we live as empty nesters? What a huge question to try and grapple with and figure out. What do we have to change now if we desire to be in good health in the future? And you're talking. The flower here is the mountain iris with. Has three petals and three sepals. And just making sure you're really trying to combine the val. The valor and the wisdom and the faith and the hope and the love and weaving that into the decisions that you're making. So beautiful reminders and a message that reminds you that it's okay to have questions, to still have questions, and to be grappling with new things that you're dealing with. You talked about your favorite wildflower, Queen Anne's Lace.
- [52:06]
B
I really do love Queen Anne's Lace. I. I think it's so amazing, is that you think of it as one big bloom, but it's made up of tiny other little blooms. And so maybe I'm being weird and sentimental when I say it like this, but I just think about how God is in the details all the time. And I don't realize that every, like my little daily decisions actually make up a lifetime of fruit. Right. That we're not going to see the fruit right away. We won't know who we become right away. But you are one day at a time becoming who God's made you to be. And that final. That ultimate bloom is made up of every tiny little little moment along the way.
- [52:50]
A
I like that you put your favorite in there. Out of so many, there's, you know, tens of thousands. And I love that. It's like everyone's gonna have their different. That they really love. And you're talking the. The. Each section, which. They're so beautiful, Ruth. At each section, it starts off with some really deep thoughts about that particular section. Like One of the ones is the way of the unhurried. So before you get into the meditations, you're going to talk. You have different quotes and things, and in that one, you talked about how we don't need to be in a rush and we don't need to resent the slow, the quiet, the seemingly unproductive seasons of our lives. We must not outpace our good God. We must not outpace. Can we just wrap it up with. I think as a mom, this is actually really important, because I think as a mom, when you have younger kids, you do sometimes feel a little bit in a rush to get to the next season of childhood, because in a lot of ways, it is easier, right? You're less tired. It is different when you get to sleep through the night. You're not changing diapers. You're not having to deal with, like, the little outburst that a toddler is going to have because you, you know, cut the crust off. And they wanted the crust, and. Or they. I mean, I remember my kids would be like, I want a pretzel, but not broken. And it's broken. I'm not gonna eat it. And you're like, I can't. Like, I can't get it back together. And so you kind of are. You're looking ahead toward those days when. And it is a little easier. However, there is a downside to it, too, where things change in your family dynamics change. It's. Obviously, it's good because they're growing in the way that God wants them to be. But can you just. As we kind of wrap it up here, you know, like, both of us have this perspective of having these older children about living in a way that doesn't outpace our good God and remembering to be more unhurried.
- [54:34]
B
Yeah, I think all of us. And I hope I'm not alone here. I think we tend to think, even if it's in the back of our minds, that the good life is right around the next corner. We think, as soon as I get on the other side of them knowing how to put away their laundry, that's going to be the good life. Or as soon as they stop bitter bickering and they get along, that's when things will be good, or when they know how to do the dishes, or when this. Whatever that is. And so imagine what it is that just, you know, take inventory of what it is that you think you have to hurry and get through to get to the good life with your children or in your home or as a person. And I would Just challenge you to remember that. That. That fight that you have to break up today and take 30 minutes to talk to your kids about, or that once again teaching them how to fold laundry and put it away neatly. Every little thing that you're like, do I have to do this again? Today is actually the exact scenario and the exact place that you're meant to be be today to grow in the ways that you. That need to be developed for tomorrow and the next day that the very fruit and the very good life you are longing for down the road where you and your children have wonderful conversations, or you go on a family trip, or they come home and they bring their spouses or. Or whatever it is that you dream of for yourself or for your family that someday is happening one day at a time right now. And so if you're in a hurry and you kind of go, ah, just learn this, Just get through this, or just do this, you might miss the very thing that will develop or cause you and your children to grow in ways that will. Will benefit and feed the tomorrow you're longing for. So don't be in a rush, don't be in a hurry, because today, truly, not to be cliche, truly has purpose. And you want to be here for every step of what you're learning happening right now.
- [56:26]
A
Yeah. And isn't that a message from God's creation? Everything in its own time? Because you're talking about how, you know, and I think we all feel this depending on where you live in the country where it's like spring, you know, in Michigan, it's April and it's still snowing, and you're like, come on, you know.
- [56:40]
B
Yeah, absolutely.
- [56:41]
A
You know, none of the hibernating animals come out too soon. That everything has its own time and nature.
- [56:47]
B
Yeah.
- [56:47]
A
God's creation has a lot for us to learn, I think, often. And we've got this garden in the back, and it's a flower garden, and it is atrocious. It's so rough to the point where I, like, in some ways avoid going back there because I have these, like, deep feelings about how atrocious it is because it didn't turn out how I wanted. You know, I wanted it to look like a flower farm. And I wanted to have a sunflower house. And like, I totally get that now. Only part of it grew. But then when you go out there, you're like. Like, oh, the bees don't care. The bees love it back here because there's stuff growing everywhere. You know, there's finches that are flying in and out because there is some stuff and I think it's just a reminder when I go out there. It's a reminder that even when it doesn't look like how I was hoping, it can still be so life giving. And there is so much to learn from God's creation. And so I just absolutely love a book like this. The Way of the Wildflower Gospel Meditations. Oh, it says it in the title. What an idiot I am. Gospel Meditations.
- [57:53]
B
I love you.
- [57:53]
A
What do you call them? Ruth?
- [57:55]
B
No, you're the best.
- [57:57]
A
Subtitle Gospel meditations to unburden your anxious soul. It will be out by the time this podcast goes live. And let me tell you what I saw on a PDF, on a screen. I cannot even imagine how gorgeous it is in person, like all of the things you put out. Ruth, thank you so much for being here.
- [58:15]
B
Okay. You are literally the most brilliant person. Why do we not spend more time together? I mean, I've. I've always like, you know what? You're so, like, if you're what I. What I find so fascinating is that you're super, super philosophical, but you present so relatable and so relational. That's. That's the beauty of you, Jenny. You are so. You're so philosophical and wise and you're such a good. Like, I don't know. I don't know how you literally recall, because every time I'm with you, you're like, actually, I learned this recently. I saw this and I'm like, okay. She is a sponge of, like, learning and growing, which is so great. So I'm so grateful for you because I. I do feel like where our families are a lot alike in terms of what we prioritize. I mean, we are a hundred percent always asking the very questions, even before I knew you. And I was like, oh my gosh, how is her whole mission exactly? Like, she put into words the things that have always been on our hearts, but we didn't like, like, formalize any of it. And so thank you so much for doing that. But I also just feel, I don't know, I'm super grateful that you lend your voice to even that space where somebody might not even know that they need to know God. And you have made it winsome enough for people to understand that there's something that they were made for that they won't find in nature alone. So thanks for that. Thank you so much for having me, Jenny.