The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast

Episode: 1KHO 617: The Courage to Be Left Behind
Guest: Erin Loecher (The Opt-Out Family)
Host: Ginny Urch
Date: November 11, 2025

Overview

This episode of the 1000 Hours Outside Podcast, hosted by Ginny Urch, features Erin Loecher, author of Chasing Slow and The Opt-Out Family, entrepreneur, and advocate for intentional living beyond societal norms. The conversation revolves around the courage to let go of external definitions of success, opting out of prevailing cultural trends (especially relating to screens and achievement), and practical strategies for reclaiming childhood, family connection, and individual authenticity. Together, they explore the slow, sometimes challenging process of change, and offer encouragement and actionable ideas for families who want to live more in line with their values—even if it means feeling “left behind” by mainstream culture.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opting Out and Living Authentically

• Erin’s Life Choices: Erin is celebrated for her ability to intentionally leave behind “enviable” platforms—big social followings, TV deals, speaking engagements—in favor of a slower, more connected family life. Ginny explains:

  “You, to me, are the person who most lives what they want...you've tried different things and been like, I don't really want that, so I'm going to do something different.” (01:32)

• Embracing Seasons: Change is gradual, like nature’s seasons. Both hosts discuss how shifting from a life of outward success to a quieter, slower existence isn't abrupt, but happens thoughtfully and deliberately.

  “Seasons change slowly, like the actual seasons…Nature shows us that seasons change slowly.” (Ginny, 05:39)

• Letting Go Without Knowing What's Next:
  Erin shares wisdom for those hesitant to step away from established roles or identities:

  "Sometimes, we don't know there is something better if we're not trying it. But also, there are times when we are...supposed to leave a season and there isn't anything next. We don’t have to know what the next thing is. You just have to know that this thing right here isn’t it. So you push pause. You can always go back." (Erin, 03:57)

2. Redefining Success: The Step-Back Story

• Rejiggering Your Life: Erin differentiates between hard work and the exhausting pursuit of external expectations:

  “I like the step back story where it’s, hey, what we have here needs rejiggered…We got to reconfigure this in a way that is actually supporting us as people…There are always pros and cons to every way to live.” (Erin, 06:57 & 09:51)

• Reverse Engineering Life Choices:
  Questions to ask: Did I choose this, or did it choose me? Am I living proactively or reactively?

  “You’re almost reverse engineering…Did I choose this or did it choose me?” (Erin, 11:22)

3. The Vulnerable In-Between

• Leaving Success Isn’t Immediate Relief:
  Erin debunks the myth that walking away from a platform is instantly freeing:

  “I would not say it’s an immediate, ‘ah, that’s better.’ Sometimes we burn it down, but we really just needed a nap.” (Erin, 12:56) She suggests writing down what you enjoy about life now and what you wish was different to build congruency between values and lifestyle.

• Small Changes Add Up:
  Start with small, value-driven changes (she recounts how bringing Tupperware and forks to a diner as a family ritual grew out of wanting to embody care for “small things,” like sea turtles):

  “Some goals or changes we want to make in our life feel really big and unwieldy and hard. And you just zero in on one thing and you get really good at that one thing and then you can add another. It’s habit stacking.” (Erin, 15:39)

4. Will I (or My Kids) Be Left Behind?

• Facing the Fear of Being “Cast Aside”:
  Ginny reads from Erin’s book, Chasing Slow:

  "Will we be cast aside for not pulling our weight, for not keeping up with the pace, for not playing by the rules?" (Ginny, quoting Erin, 20:07)

• Erin’s Response:

  “You can’t be left behind if you’re leaving it behind…If this isn’t really a race I want to win, why am I running?” (Erin, 21:25 & 21:27) “The Internet changes you in your identity in ways that you don’t know as a grown adult. I never wanted the reason my kids get a smartphone to be so they wouldn’t be left behind. I wanted to go first.” (Erin, 21:25–23:04)

5. Using Tech Giants’ Tools to Build Strong Families

• Turning the Algorithm on Its Head:
  Erin reveals how families can co-opt the psychological strategies tech companies use to make screens “sticky”—such as surprise, challenge, novelty, gamification, and shared goals—and use them offline for positive connection and growth.

• Challenge & Gamification:

  "I firmly believe that kids want to be challenged. I think they seek it out…And it’s not an accident that TikTok creates challenges on the regular. They’re fun and exciting and kids want them." (Erin, 26:14)

  Ginny shares a real example of digital streaks on Duolingo and how tech apps incentivize “winning together.” They discuss the merits and pitfalls of this mechanic.

• Surprise & Delight (Novelty):
  Erin’s rituals included turning her microwave into a random “treasure chest” for her kids, filling it at random times with small surprises: notes, rocks, fresh Play-Doh.

  “My phrase for boredom was always, there’s a surprise at every corner…they would find something in the microwave and it would be fun.” (Erin, 31:51)

  Ginny lists more ideas from Erin’s book:

  “Welcome your 10-year-old home from school with Silly String. Leave a love note. Serve pizza for breakfast. Take a last-minute road trip. Build a rock climbing wall. Wake your son up at midnight for a hot fudge sundae.” (Ginny, 35:25)

• Gamification Habit:
  Erin, on catching the “good” in her kids:

  “I had a friend…put a jelly bean in the coat pocket of her kid who put the coat on the hook…All of these things feed into each other: surprise, novelty, delight.” (Erin, 38:18)

• Shared Goals & Interdependence:
  Whether building a deck as a family or “surviving” a season of living off-grid, Erin underscores how collective objectives (often born from necessity) foster connection and resilience:

  “Sometimes your situation changes and the shared goal is how do we survive with what life has given us…and find ways to enjoy it.” (Erin, 44:00)

6. Permission to Change & Embracing Interdependence

• The Value of Hardship and Interdependence:
  Shared goals, especially those stemming from challenge or scant resources, create natural interdependence among family members:

  “I like the idea that we don’t have enough hardship...We do grow more when we are living off-grid, trying to figure out how to get water. It’s hard, but peaceful because your mind is only focused on one thing, survival.” (Erin, 50:56)

• Bravery to Step Back and “Rejigger”:
  Ginny summarizes:

  “Being brave and leaving things behind that you don’t want anymore, it probably is going to create opportunities for interdependence...it just is built out of a life that’s a little bit on the edge.” (Ginny, 51:38)

• Parallel Themes in Erin’s Books:

  • Chasing Slow asks: “Will we be left behind if we don’t keep up?”
  • The Opt-Out Family asks: “Will my child be left behind without tech?”
    Erin steadfastly reassures:

  "Absolutely not. The kid who’s going to get left behind is the one who can’t concentrate." (Ginny, paraphrasing Erin, 52:59)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can’t be left behind if you’re leaving it behind.” — Erin Loecher, 21:25
• “Sometimes we burn it down, but we really just needed a nap.” — Erin Loecher, 12:56
• “If this isn’t really a race I want to win, why am I running?” — Erin Loecher, 21:27
• “Some goals or changes in life feel big and unwieldy and hard. You just zero in on one thing, get really good at that, and then you can add another.” — Erin Loecher, 15:39
• “Surprise, novelty, delight – these things produce a feeling of love and connection, which produces really good character.” — Erin Loecher, 39:41

Timestamps for Significant Segments

• 01:32: Ginny admires Erin’s lifestyle of intentional change.
• 03:57: Erin discusses fear and uncertainty when transitioning to new seasons.
• 06:57–09:51: The “step-back story” and rejecting unnecessary expectations.
• 12:56: The vulnerable in-between of letting go.
• 15:39–16:13: Small changes/habit stacking (the Tupperware story).
• 20:07–21:27: Fear of being left behind & changing definitions of success.
• 26:14–27:01: How tech uses “challenge”; how to reclaim it for families.
• 31:51–35:25: Surprise and novelty, and the power of little delights.
• 38:18–39:41: Jelly bean gamification and habit-formation stories.
• 44:00–49:41: Shared goals, interdependence, and off-grid family life.
• 52:59: On who really gets left behind in a screen-saturated world.

Actionable Ideas for Listeners

• Examine your current life: Did you choose it? Are you living proactively?
• When in doubt, pause—don’t burn it all down unless you’re sure.
• Make tiny, values-driven changes (habit stacking).
• Reclaim strategies of delight, surprise, and challenge from screens into real family rituals.
• Create opportunities for shared family objectives, even if born out of inconvenience.
• Give yourself and your family permission to opt out, go first, and redefine “success.”

Tone & Takeaways

The tone is humble, honest, warm, and practical—never prescriptive, always invitational. Erin’s message, and Ginny’s framing, is a loving challenge to question the status quo, trust your instincts, and remember that it’s okay to be “left behind” if it means you’re walking your own authentic path. The episode is filled with actionable, concrete micro-ideas and big-picture permission to slow down, rejigger, and choose connection over conformity.

For Further Inspiration

• Chasing Slow and The Opt-Out Family by Erin Loecher
• Come On Home by Jessica Smart (mentioned for practical family ideas)
• “Family Economy” by Rory Groves (on interdependence)
• Practice habit-stacking, micro-surprises, and family goal-setting
• Reflect on what race you actually wish to run—with your kids, with your time, and with your life