The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast

Episode: 1KHO 708: When You Want Your Life the Way It Was
Guest: Amber Emily Smith, Author of The Girl on the Bathroom Floor
Host: Ginny Yurich
Date: February 12, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast features a moving conversation between host Ginny Yurich and Amber Emily Smith, author of the memoir The Girl on the Bathroom Floor: Held Together When Everything Is Falling Apart. The discussion centers on the profound impact of child loss, grief, faith, parenting, and healing in the wake of unimaginable tragedy. Through Amber's heartfelt storytelling, listeners gain insight into living through grief while nurturing a family, shifting life perspectives, and the ongoing journey to healing, hope, and renewal.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Amber’s Love Story and Family Life

• Amber met her husband, Granger Smith (country music artist), during his first music video shoot. Their relationship began as an acting job and quickly turned into real love (02:05–03:20).
• They built a family with three children while navigating the challenges of Granger's touring life (04:38–05:55).

2. The Tragedy: Losing River

• Amber’s youngest son, River, drowned in a tragic accident while she took a brief shower—a moment she relives through endless “what ifs” (08:18–11:46).
• She describes the spiral of guilt, public scrutiny, and the enduring effects of trauma:

  "Not only are you relentless in doing that to yourself, but...people were so critical and harsh on us. You hear the outside world telling you that you're a failure, and then the enemy is telling you that you failed in the one job that you had to take care of your child." —Amber Emily Smith (10:25)

3. Grief, Healing, and Faith

• Amber discusses the necessity and challenge of carrying on for her surviving children and husband amidst her pain (22:37–24:20).
• Faith became her anchor:

  "When my heart broke, I ran to Him. Through that wrestling process...the Lord healing my heart little by little, day by day." —Amber (23:11)

• She emphasizes the value of community, grief groups, and honest conversation about loss.

4. Water Safety Awareness

• Amber became an advocate for water safety after realizing that drowning is the leading cause of accidental death for children ages 1–4 (12:10–13:42).
• She urges parents to consider survival swim lessons (ISR) as a life-saving measure:

  "With Maverick, I watched him at 8 months old roll over and find the air...he was able to float and fall off the side and roll over and get the air." —Amber (13:57)

• Highlights the limitations of floatation devices and the multilayered approach needed for water safety (gates, locks, alarms, CPR).

5. Transformative Perspective Shift

• Amber describes a sharp change in what she values post-tragedy, such as a dislike of superficial distractions and more time devoted to meaningful relationships and faith (26:54–28:42).

  "When I lost my son, it's like all the color went out of the world...it was just trash and it was doing nothing for me to learn or grow." —Amber (27:14)

• She encourages deep reflection on how screens and trivial worries consume time better spent with loved ones or in spiritual growth.

6. Learning to Live in a World that Has Changed Forever

• Processing the reality that life will never return to "how it was":

  "That girl no longer existed. She died that day by the pool on June 4th." —Amber (29:30)

• The idea that one can “move forward” but never “move on”—you become a new version of yourself (Amber 2.0 vs. 1.0) (30:06–32:09).
• Despite loss, her faith and identity were transformed, and she now finds “deeper joy” and renewed purpose (31:20–32:09).

7. Grief in Marriage—Focus on Fathers

• Amber reveals (with permission) that Granger, three and a half years post-loss, struggled with suicidal thoughts—a risk that statistically rises among bereaved fathers (32:09–33:51).

  "Men want to be the rock for the family...they don't grieve as openly. That grief will eat away at your bones if you don't allow yourself to process it." —Amber (33:14)

8. Supporting Children Through Loss

• The Smiths used tools like play therapy and open dialogue to help their children process grief (41:52–43:40).
• Amber shares the importance of letting children see parental grief and openly remember their lost sibling.

9. Faith, Dreams, and New Life

• Lincoln, Amber's son, had a prophetic dream predicting the birth of a new brother—an event that brought hope and spiritual reassurance (45:20–48:01).

  "I believe in the power of the Lord and that there are no accidents or coincidences with God." —Amber (46:56)

10. Legacy: The River Kelly Fund & Organ Donation

• Smiths started a foundation in River’s memory, providing support for various causes (51:10–52:04).
• They donated River’s organs, saving lives and bringing meaning out of tragedy. Amber describes meeting the recipient of River’s kidney:

  "That's the closest that Maverick will ever be to a piece of his big brother." —Amber (53:29–53:51)

11. The Power of Community and Kindness

• Friends and strangers sustained the Smiths after their loss by handling daily needs, providing emotional support, and offering unexpected connections—such as a prayer journal from a stranger turned friend (54:23–56:23).

  "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you are aware of about three of them." —John Piper, shared by Amber (55:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Surviving Grief:
  "Don’t do that to yourself, because that’s what the enemy wants, is for you to doubt yourself, to doubt the goodness of God, and to stay stuck in a place of pain and grief and questioning." —Amber (10:51)

• On Child Loss Changing You:
  "I tried to get back to being the mom and woman I was, but that girl no longer existed. She died that day by the pool on June 4th." —Amber (29:49)

• On Resilience:
  "What began as me sharing like a little devotional turned into me preparing...messages about the goodness of God and what I was learning in grief and love and parenting and joy." —Amber on her podcast, Arise With Amber (25:06)

• On Faith and Joy:
  "I will say now on this side, I have more joy than I've ever had. Deeper joy, true joy, true peace that I didn't have before." —Amber (31:42)

• On Helping Children with Grief:
  "We allowed them to see our own grief too...we just talked to them and told them that any emotion that they feel is okay." —Amber (42:17)

• On Finding Meaning After Loss:
  "When the time is right, aim to do something for somebody else and in honor of your loved one, because it does truly bring joy through a dark time." —Amber, on the River Kelly Foundation (52:04)

• On Daily Life Before Devices:
  "We would literally leave the house in the morning, come back when the sun was going down...That's what I remember is always being outside, riding my bikes with my friends, roller skating outside." —Amber (59:12)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Amber’s Story, Meeting Granger: 02:05–06:49
• Life Before and After River’s Passing: 06:49–09:44
• The ‘What Ifs’ and Guilt: 08:18–11:16
• Water Safety & Survival Swim: 12:10–16:13
• Nature, Screens, and Meaningful Living: 26:54–29:30
• Adapting to a New Normal: 29:30–32:09
• Supporting Spouses and Grieving Fathers: 32:09–33:51
• Guiding Children Through Grief: 41:52–43:40
• Lincoln’s Dream (Hope and Faith): 45:20–48:24
• Legacy & Giving Back (River Kelly Fund/Organ Donation): 51:10–54:23
• The Power of Community & Small Acts of Kindness: 54:23–56:23
• Childhood Memories Outside: 59:12–59:53

Resources & Further Information

• Book: The Girl on the Bathroom Floor: Held Together When Everything is Falling Apart by Amber Emily Smith
• Podcast: Arise with Amber
• Foundation: River Kelly Fund
• Amber on Instagram: @amberemilysmith
• Granger's New Podcast: 999 for the One

Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is unflinchingly honest yet filled with gentle hope, deep faith, and practical wisdom. Amber speaks with raw vulnerability and grace, giving voice to pain and healing while offering encouragement and practical steps to others navigating loss. Listeners are left with a deeper appreciation for the fleeting nature of life, the importance of real-world connection, and the ways in which profound suffering can ultimately nurture spiritual and personal transformation.