The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast

Episode: 1KHO 738: You Are Not Ruining Your Kids
Guest: Abbey Wedgeworth (Author, Help! I’m Ruining My Kids)
Host: Ginny Yurich
Date: March 14, 2026

Episode Overview

This heartfelt and relatable episode focuses on the pervasive fear among mothers that they are "ruining" their kids. Ginny Yurich welcomes Abbey Wedgeworth, author of Help! I’m Ruining My Kids: A Gospel Guide for the Mom Who's Desperate for Change, to discuss the realities of motherhood, combating shame and guilt, embracing imperfection, and finding hope and community. The conversation weaves in practical encouragement with spiritual and psychological wisdom, aiming to reassure parents that falling short is both normal and surmountable.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Abbey’s Writing Journey and Book Themes ([02:07]–[05:35])

• Abbey shares her path to writing, which began after a personal tragedy (pregnancy loss). Her journey led to writing devotionals and children’s books like the “Training Young Hearts” series.
• Her latest book, Help! I’m Ruining My Kids, is aimed squarely at mothers who feel overwhelmed by guilt and shame.

Abbey: "Parenting is hard. Being a kid is hard... So many women are functioning in isolation because they think if I said this out loud, people don’t want to be friends with me, or maybe social services would come take my kids. So we're just hiding in shame instead of getting the help we need." ([05:35])

Universal Mom Guilt and 'Ruined' Moments ([05:10]–[09:53])

• Both Ginny and Abbey speak to the universality of parental regret, sharing humorous and poignant stories about moments their kids never seem to forget.
• They highlight how children latch onto "high emotion moments," often retelling family stories about parental missteps.

Ginny: "They remember these high emotion, I think, moments. And then they're like, oh, well, that's now a part of our story." ([08:08])

Standards, Guilt, and Self-imposed Pressure ([09:53]–[12:34])

• Parents, especially mothers, often set impossible standards for themselves, such as feeling guilt over not achieving goals like “1000 hours outside”.
• Ginny emphasizes her intention is to ease, not add to, parental burdens.

Ginny: "My heart is that, you know, if you're frazzled, that's what this book is about. The outdoors is a place where you’re a little less frazzled and kids can yell and scream and run and you don’t have to look at your cobwebs." ([10:02])

Shame, Guilt, and the Remedy ([12:34]–[14:56])

• Abbey reorients the idea of shame, advocating that improvement doesn't come from hustle or perfection but from connection and grace.
• Shame is "never eradicated by performance," and true healing is based in relational and spiritual grounding.

Abbey: "Shame cannot be eradicated by performance. And shame cannot motivate true and lasting change. It can’t. What can eradicate shame is the performance of Jesus on our behalf. So we just rest in it." ([13:36])

Public Meltdowns, Family Judgment, and Comparison ([14:56]–[19:46])

• Ginny and Abbey discuss handling public embarrassment when children "meltdown," especially in front of family or strangers.
• Both hosts explore how criticism or comparison from others (family or society) can fuel internalized shame and spiral.

Abbey: "Love of God, love of neighbor, and the approval of Jesus delivers us from comparison. It delivers us from treating other people like they're the judge because the highest form of judgment has said we're okay." ([18:10])

The Reality of Everyday Gaps and Mistakes ([25:00]–[27:11])

• Parents are not meant to be all things or fix every gap. The importance of acknowledging and repairing mistakes is highlighted.
• Ginny and Abbey give funny and vulnerable examples of “gaps,” like children not knowing how to sign their names or remember the days of the week.

Abbey: "You cannot be all things to your kids, and you’re gonna blow it... you will be the source of some of their wounds and gaps." ([25:56])

The Art of Apology and Repair ([27:11]–[29:06])

• Abbey shares two contrasting apology styles:
  • The dismissive: “I’m sorry, but you were out of control.”
  • The genuine: “I’m sorry I spoke to you the way I did. My yelling is not your fault. Will you please forgive me?”
• Practicing honest, responsibility-taking apologies models resilience for children.

The Monotony and Holiness of Ordinary Motherhood ([29:06]–[34:09])

• The tension between monotony and meaning in motherhood is unpacked.
• Reframing everyday chores and routines as “holy work” transforms the experience.
• A “way of being”—the emotional state of parents—matters more than ticking boxes.

Abbey: "There’s a way to fold laundry with love and there’s a way to fold laundry upset and vindictively... That will come out." ([31:17])

Living Within Your Limits: The Healthy Mind Platter ([37:46]–[42:50])

• Abbey introduces the “Healthy Mind Platter” (Dan Siegel) emphasizing physical activity, sleep, relational time, downtime, focus, play, and reflection.
• Self-care isn’t selfish: tending to your needs allows you to love your kids well.

Abbey: "In the name of self-sacrifice, we don’t do the very thing we need to do to love our kids. Well, because self-care feels selfish." ([41:00])

Why Getting Outside Helps ([42:50]–[44:11])

• Going outdoors checks off many Healthy Mind Platter categories (movement, play, connection, reflection).
• Ginny reflects on how the puzzle pieces of research and personal experience have affirmed the power of outdoor time for mental and family health.

Never Arriving in Motherhood: Embracing Change ([45:13]–[49:47])

• Motherhood is never stagnant; each new stage brings new challenges, and the idea of “arriving” is a myth.
• The relentless change is purposeful, designed to keep us humble and dependent on community and faith.

Abbey: "I think perfect parenting is the enemy of faithful parenting. Because when we are trying to need God less, we can’t depend on him more." ([46:55])

• The power of a supportive community in reminding you of your value and affirming your children’s character (not just achievement).

Grief, Tears, and “Burping the Pot” ([50:43]–[54:42])

• Abbey shares her grandmother’s wisdom: "You have to burp the pot, so it doesn’t boil over."
• Grieving hardships (loss, illness, disappointment) is essential to not letting bottled-up emotion “spill out sideways” onto children.

Abbey: "We have to let those tears out... I think sometimes, especially for Christian moms, we mistake Christianity for stoicism... But your kids live in a fallen world, and they need to know how to navigate hard things and to see [you grieve]." ([52:00])

Bringing the Past into Parenting: “I Ate” and Triggers ([56:49]–[60:21])

• Abbey unpacks how unresolved issues from our own childhood inform our emotional reactivity as parents, offering the story of her sisters’ “Ignore Her” game.
• Suggests parents make a timeline of their life to understand their parenting triggers.

Abbey: "Being aware of how our past impacts our parenting is really important... Sometimes the ways that we are trying to protect them are really hurting them." ([59:33])

Memorable Quotes

• Abbey: "The goal is to raise a person who is kind, who sees others... If I’m focused on what not knowing the days of the week means about me, then I’m not going to be seeing that." ([48:05])
• Ginny: "Some of our standards for ourselves aren’t even moral mandates... and we just walk around functioning in guilt." ([09:53])
• Abbey (on apologies): "My kids are never responsible for my actions... I could have responded with self-control... Will you please forgive me?" ([27:11])
• Abbey (on grief): "It's important for us to grieve what is grievous." ([54:07])

Important Timestamps

• Abbey introduces herself and her books – [02:07]
• Universal mom guilt, “ruining” moments – [05:10]
• How shame works in motherhood, gospel remedy – [12:34]
• Public meltdowns and family judgment – [14:56]
• Being comfortable with imperfection and repair – [27:11]
• Living within your limits: The Healthy Mind Platter – [38:01]
• Motherhood is never stagnant – [45:39]
• Grieving and expressing emotion: “Burp the pot” – [50:42]
• How our past affects our parenting (“I Ate” story) – [56:49]

Notable Moments

• The “Days of the Week” Gap: Abbey’s son forgets the days in order, sparking insecurity—only to be reminded by her community of his many strengths. ([16:27], [48:05])
• Genuine Apology Template: Abbey’s model for apologizing to children with honesty and empathy. ([27:11])
• “Burp the Pot” Metaphor: Releasing stress through honest tears and community support—“We need to make time and space to cry so that our suppressed emotions won’t blow the lid off.” ([50:43])

Conclusion and Tone

This episode is rife with depth, humor, and vulnerability, offering real talk about the frustrations and fears of parenting, but always circling back to restoration, faith, and connection. Ginny and Abbey’s conversational, empathetic tone invites listeners to release shame, embrace imperfection, love their kids (and themselves) honestly, and reach out to their communities. Listeners are reminded: You are not alone—and you truly are not ruining your kids.