← The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
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- [00:01]
A
My kids used to ask for sugary sports drinks at every gas station stop and I just couldn't get on board with the ingredients. Then we found Cure Hydration and honestly, it solved the whole thing. Cure makes plant based electrolyte drink mixes with no added sugar and no artificial ingredients. For my husband and me, we have used hydration packs a lot. I'll throw one in my water bottle before podcast interviews or on travel days or even mid afternoon when I realized I haven't had enough to drink. My favorite flavor right now is berry pomegranate. It's refreshing, not overly sweet, and it actually makes me want to finish my and that's the key. It hydrates better than water alone and uses the same science backed formula shown to work as effectively as an IV drip. And then there are the Cure Kids mixes. They're formulated with pediatricians completely free of artificial dyes and added sugars and they taste great. My kids love the fruit flavors and I love knowing they're replacing electrolytes after long days outside sports practices or hot afternoons. Staying hydrated isn't just about water. You also need electrolytes. That's why my family loves Cure. It's clean, tastes great, and my kids love it. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you@curehydration.com outside. Real ingredients, real hydration, ready for the whole family. Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. I My name is Ginny Urch. I always say the same thing. I just forgot what I was saying. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside and Super Honored to have a woman that has so much depth, who's walked through really hard and also really beautiful. Brittany Pricebricker. Welcome.
- [01:31]
B
Oh girl, it's such an honor to be with you. I'm so thankful for you and your heart, for people and for moms in the midst of the chaos and your encouragement.
- [01:39]
A
Moms are always in the midst of chaos. And you have a particularly interesting story because you walk through heartache, you walk through loss, and then like you talk about that you have six kids from four different dads, but you say you're faithful to your marriage in all of the circumstances. So talking about adoption, talking about special needs, and then also talking about loss. You're also a homeschool parent, so there's gonna be a lot, a lot that we get into today. But you start your story with just sort of a typical story. It's like you've got these little boys at home, they're really young. Your life is going on Just very normally, you're gonna, you know, you pack up everybody in the morning, you're heading to Bible study, you got these three little boys, and you get the call that, I mean, is completely a shock. And you never expect, you know, you kiss your husband goodbye for work and then just a health, a health crisis happens. So can you give a little bit of your backstory? As much as you want to share, obviously, and as much as you don't want to share, obviously as well, but about that period of time in your life?
- [02:38]
B
Yeah, absolutely. You know, I say that we are living our dream, you know, but I was extra tired in that dream. You know, probably all of us in motherhood in this season, you're like, man, I dreamed of being a mom my whole life. And I'm here and I'm. It's so many sweet parts of it, but I'm exhausted too at the same time. And so we had three boys under the age of three, and I was living my life. And honestly, the dream life I had asked the Lord for. I had a great husband, great boys. Went to Bible study that day and got a phone call from my husband, from someone of his boss, and they said, hey, he's fallen at work. Has everything been okay? We're gonna come get a vehicle. He was in law enforcement to come get you. And I said, you know, he's perfectly healthy. 30 year old. You know, we've. We just had a baby. We had three boys under the age of three at that point. And so I was like, you know, maybe he's been tired. And so really what unfolded was he died of an unknown heart thing that day. And it was very sudden, very tragic and very shocking. And so I was left at a widow at the age of 25 with three boys under the age of three that now are fatherless. And so we were kind of thrown into a story that we never wanted and never asked for, where I felt like everything around me looked unknown and yet God was faithful and saw us through.
- [03:55]
A
Yeah. Three boys under the age of three. So you talked about how, I mean, especially the baby, but even, even a one year old and a two year old, you know, the, the thoughts there are so vast. You're like, they're not even going to remember him.
- [04:10]
B
Yeah, it's amazing though, what kids remember. And I think this is a huge part for us as moms to know that we don't always know that our kids are going to remember the memories, but they remember how they felt in the memories. And so my kids remember, actually, I Even thought they did. And I'm really thankful for that. But God was just so faithful. You know, you look in those seasons of life where you're in absolute chaos and hardship and pain and overwhelm and you think, God, I can't do this. And so something I would pray often is God, would you be the gap filling God for me and for my boys in that season? And that was something I really did grieve deeply. God, are they going to remember this? What are they going to think about their life? Are they going to be bitter towards God? Are they going to be bitter towards me? What, what are their whole perspective of life? And yet over and over, when I would tuck my babies in bed and they would ask about daddy and they'd ask about heaven, I would pray over them and tell them, we're going to be okay. I don't know how we're going to be okay, but God will see us through. And then in the next room, I would fall apart and beg God to come through and make a way. And it's amazing because, you know, now it's been over a decade and I can truly look back and say, my God has been so faithful and my kids have been fine. And it's not because of anything I did. It was God's grace and his kindness that our, our God really does hold our kids more than we care about them, more than we could ever even imagine.
- [05:31]
A
Yeah, I love that prayer. God be the gap filling God in any situation.
- [05:39]
B
Girl, my whole life is filled with caps. It's so funny because, you know, so often all of us can look on social media and we look at every mom when we think, wow, they have got it together. And we look at our life and we're like, I've got nothing together. When the reality is all of us have gaps in our parenting, all of us have gaps in our life because we are one person, right? There's one person, Jenny, that you are called to love on all your kids and to do the calling that God has placed on your life. And so often we can look at it and go, lord, I'm inadequate. There's no way I can do it. And honestly, in every season I have prayed that prayer. God, be the gap filling God, show me what it looks like to faithfully steward the season before me. When I feel and I see all the gaps.
- [06:22]
A
Yeah, we have so many gaps in our kitchen. So the kitchen, I don't. And I'm like, I don't really know what people do. Like, we're like, okay, should we get this redesigned? But it's so much money. Like, I don't even know how people are like. I mean, here's however many tens of thousands of dollars to redo a kitchen or something. So we've got the. It's old. And there's this drawer that. The garbage cans. It was like a stacked garbage can where there's two. This drawer that comes in and out. Well, it broke. And the track system is old, so it doesn't exist anymore. So currently there's a massive gap there. And the garbage cans are just, like, sitting on the ground. And then there's a big gap underneath the dishwasher because that's the wrong size, you know, like, oh, no change. So there's a big gap there. And then I was like, we have six missing handles on our drawers. And I was like, why are we living like this? But there are just.
- [07:11]
B
In life, this.
- [07:11]
A
I mean, that's like, a stupid example.
- [07:13]
B
It's real, though.
- [07:15]
A
But there's so many gaps, and you're just like, well, we're just gonna have to live with that for a while till we, like, figure out what to do. And so I love that prayer, and especially for your situation. And if someone's listening, if they're in a similar situation, it's like the Bible is really clear that God is a father to the F. Fatherless. And Dr. Magner talks about that in her book. I think it's called Boys Should Be Boys. But she's talking about it for boys and girls. But she says that. That when a child has a dad, maybe that has passed away or is absent or is a crummy dad, that having a relationship with God actually, really, there's, like, research to show that it helps to see them through. So can you talk about then when. So you're in the car, they come pick you up to go to the hospital, and you're in the car with his mom. And at that point, did you have any idea?
- [08:08]
B
Yeah, we didn't know. I mean, you know, it's. It's. You know, when someone's not sick, you're
- [08:13]
A
just like, oh, we fell.
- [08:15]
B
Yeah. I mean, I literally grabbed that. Grabbed, like, granola bars and water bottles and things to read to him and thought he was really funny, real sarcastic and just fun. And I was like, I know. He is cracking all the nurses up. Like, this is what. When you have three kids under the age of three and you get no sleep and. And then, you know, it's. It's like the further we got, the closer we got to the hospital, it was like the more the reality set in and I got some text messages. And so at that point when I was walking in, I just kept thinking, like, get me to my man, get me to my man. And so, you know, you have those times where God really carries you and it just feels supernatural. And I will tell you that it was by the time I got to the hospital, there was literally hundreds of people all over the world praying for me. And at that point, the news had spread and they hadn't told me yet. And so I wrestled with that. At first, being like, man, I felt like I was the last person to know. But honestly, it was the God's kindness and his grace because honestly, I felt so carried by the prayers of God's people. So there was such a grace. I always, I told my brother this so many times during that season. I feel like I'm floating on the grace of God, like it should be sinking. And there's times when, when you're in deep, dark pain. It's like, man, I just, if I could just hit the rock bottom. But like, when I fell, I fell in the rock that was higher than I and was Jesus. He was my cornerstone and he was my anchor. And so he really did carry us through the darkest of days, including when I found out, including having to tell my boys that daddy's not coming home. Which, you know, kids at that age don't understand that at all. And so for months later, I mean, they'd hear the garage door open and they would run, daddy, Daddy. And realize, oh, Daddy's not coming back. And so we had to really wrest through what grief and loss looks like, even with their little minds.
- [10:03]
A
Oh, and it was right around your oldest birthday.
- [10:07]
B
Yes. Yep. So you hold joy and sorrow in the same hand. All of us really, we walk through that. I mean, really, you look around at most everybody's life, everyone will walk through hard things. And we also walk through lots of joyful things. And so it's kind of a wild journey when you literally was talking about, you know, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. And so, and blessed be the name of our God, who is good in all circumstances. But it was so crazy planning a funeral in one room and then literally walking in the other room with a cupcake and balloons to sing Happy birthday to my 3 year old. And it's still a hard thing, honestly, every time his birthday is, we're just like, lord, this is such a crazy, you know, paradox of joy and sorrow. But that is the Reality of a lot of people's lives is we all will have joy and sorrow and we can clean. It's just our perspective. In the midst of it, what are we going to really look at it? Because we could look at all the hard things or I will remember so distinctly that day being like, where did all these balloons come from? Where did this cupcake come from? Where did all these presents come from? And literally, during the time I was planning the funeral, all these friends showed up and set up a whole birthday party, which was his first time he'd ever had a birthday party was on that day. And so the grace of God carries.
- [11:24]
A
Wow, Brittany. What friends?
- [11:27]
B
Yes.
- [11:27]
A
And so because it was the very next day, so you had friends that knew you well enough to know his birthday's tomorrow. She's not going to be able to throw a party. And they did it.
- [11:38]
B
Yeah, they did. And they did stuff like that forever. You know, I still have friends that show up on the day that everything's so tender for us. And truly community makes all the difference. The community you have before you walk through, the journey you never asked for, and then the community afterwards. But I always say I feel like the most blessed widow in the world because we've had the best community show up for us day in and day out, and they have never stopped. And I'm so grateful.
- [12:04]
A
Yeah. You talk on your website about how, you know, I mean, you've got a three month old, so, you know, you're coming back from the hospital to nurse. I mean, you know, and I mean, we had kids. It's like they're not really taking bottles sometimes. And so, you know, you're dealing with figuring out organ donation all of a sudden. So a day that starts off very normal, heading to Bible study with my little kids just completely changes the course of your life. He said it's been 10 years. So here you are in the spot, got with a three month old and a two year old and a one year old. What's changed in the last decade?
- [12:37]
B
You know what? God's been so faithful for the last decade. It's crazy because the other day I had, you know, it's just amazing how the Lord works. But I had an appointment for my boys. They have to go get checked often because of the way that their daddy passed away with their heart. So we went and did those checkups and we were on the way home and my boys were like, man, I just found a gift card in our car. Like, like magically what? This gift card for this restaurant. So I Was like, okay. Right when they found it, I just pulled in, we sit down to eat and all of a sudden it occurs to me, this is the same restaurant that we used to go all the time. Right after my husband went to heaven with these huge boys. I used to have to sit, you know, right next to the bathroom because I'd take them to the bathroom every two seconds and you know, change the diapers and all that stuff. And here I'm sitting with three teenage boys that are huge. And I just looked around and I. Tears filled my eyes as they're laug laughing and joking and playing. And I just thought, God, you have been so good and you have been so faithful all through it. And you know, there's so many worries I had for my kids or for my life and God has been so abundant. I was reading in scripture the other day about how they went through the wilderness and they got to the other side of the wilderness and it said they did not lack a thing in the wilderness. And you know, we have walked through the highs and the lows and we still do, we still walk through really hard things. But I can say because of Jesus, we have not, not lacked a thing. He has been abundant in all of the circumstances. And so in the last 10 years since then, I married an amazing godly man who loves Jesus, who is a widower, who is incredible. Wife passed away of cancer. They had two children that they adopted from two different families. And so we got married and then several years later we had a baby together. So if you are counting now, we have six kids. And so when we got married, we had had five kids under the age of six which was so wild and so fun. And so now we have a bunch of teenagers and then we have a. A five year old. And so God's been so faithful and so kind in all of it. And then through that, it's crazy because when you walk through hard things, it just changes your whole perspective. It was like, you know, when you look for a car and you're like, man, have there always been this many Ford Explorers out there? Like I never knew until I was looking for a car. And so when you walk through pain, all of a sudden you're like, have there always been this walking through pain? And I didn't even know it because really pain is invisible. You walk into a grocery store and, and people look normal and you have no idea, like me, that I had buried my husband two days before and someone's talking to me as I'm, you know, getting lunch meat ordered and having no idea that I'm like inches from falling apart. And so when you walk through something hard, it changes your whole perspective. And so with that, really the last couple years, the Lord launched and we're in full time ministry. And my husband runs the only non profit world for widowers who walk through pain. So men who have lost their wives, you know, there's a bunch of stuff for widows and a lot of things for women. But we kept trying to find things for men because all these amazing widowers were coming our way. And so we kept trying to find something. We couldn't find things. So we kept meeting with like these big organizations. Surely there's something out there. Nothing. And so when we kind of came to that realization, we were sitting at date night one night and I said, babe, what are you going to do if you know there's nothing for these men who need help? What are you going to do about about it? And he's like, oh, I'm gonna pray about it and see what God has. So literally a couple years ago we went full time ministry. Everything that we do is free with refuge widowers so they have access to resources and hope and help and community so that these guys can get through the deepest, darkest days with the hope of Jesus.
- [16:28]
A
Where can people find that?
- [16:30]
B
Refugewidowers.com okay.
- [16:32]
A
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- [20:19]
B
Never, never in a million years. I mean, even, you know, getting on a call with you today, Jenny, it's just crazy because when you are in the dark spot of pain, you think you're going to be there forever. And sometimes even in motherhood, when you feel like you're in that surviving season with all these itty bitties, you think you're going to be there forever. And then on the other side you go, man, not only did we make it through, but God was good through that hard thing. Because when you get over that hump, it gives you perspective to look back and see the goodness and the kindness of God. And we're in a place and again, we still have pain, we still have hard things that we navigate, but we can look back and think, man, he has been so faithful.
- [21:02]
A
Yeah. Can you talk about the, the dashed dreams? So one thing that was really just a particular thing and I think a lot of people cover late. It's like, you've got really little kids when this happens. And so you're like, oh, you, maybe we'll have more kids. So you got these three little boys and they're like, oh, you know, I think anybody would think, well, maybe someday we're gonna have a daughter and she's gonna have his blue eyes. So you talk about that. You like, there's so much life and love and hope and dreams and family ahead that you're thinking about. And then this is a change that you, you can't change. The circumstances aren't going to change. How do you handle, how do you handle that?
- [21:43]
B
Yeah, I mean, the night he passed away, I woke up in the middle of the night and I sat up and I said, I'll never have a little girl with his blue eyes. And I started grieving that, like you said, I was in the season of motherhood where we were having kids back to back and we wanted to have more. And so really when I looked at my entire life, it felt like death of dream dreams. It felt the death of what parenting looked like. I mean, who Wants to sign up to be a single mom. Nobody wants that. And nobody would pick it. But here I am. This is my circumstance. You know, they had the best daddy that they'll never know on this side of heaven. That was something that was so hard, what my family looked like. And so one of the things that I learned to do in grief over and over again was surrender my dreams. And surrendering is hard. It's hard to say, God, I give you this. Lord, I long for this with every fiber in my being. But, God, I want to long for you more. So, God, I am literally giving this to you and saying, God, would you make something beautiful out of all this myth and mess? And I used to say often, like, God, this pain is too painful to be wasted. So, God, please do not waste this pain because it hurts. And I feel like I'm dying. But I know that you promise that you do not waste anything in our lives. So, God, if I have to go through this hard thing, we use it for your glory. Will you use it to encourage other people? Will you use it for the glory and the kingdom of God, for something that is bigger than us? Because really, so often in our pains, we think of only what we're walking through. And so I think there was a time where my, my grief shifted, not just from why, God, why did you allow this to happen? Would you have to go through the why of it? I mean, even Job asked over and over again why God? And Jesus on the cross said, why have you forsaken me? Like, that is a process that we walk through is asking the why. But the shift that happened in my grief was when I went from the why to the what. What do you have for me here, God? So my dreams have shattered. I've surrendered them. I'm walking through this hard part, and I just remember at one point being like, okay, so I'm a widow. I don't want this title. I, I, you know, you feel like you're 90 inside. And here I'm 25 years old with these three little muffins, and I'm like, what does my life look like? And at one point, I just remember being like, lord, I'm going to widow well for the glory of God. God, if you've called me to this, then I'm going to do this to the best of my ability for the glory of God, until you call me home. And so that was a shift of, like, really wrestling with what my life looked like and accepting it and going, okay, there's a purpose. Somehow. I don't know what it looks like, but God, I want you in all of it. And really, it started to see what God could do through it. And just even in my heart, because, you know, a lot of times people look at our circumstances and they think redemption happens when. When, you know, you get remarried again or you have another kid or this. But I will tell you that redemption happened in my heart. Redemption happens in our heart and our mind. When Jesus comes in and he changes it and he changes our perspective and he shows us that he is good even when life is not good.
- [24:37]
A
What an interesting thing, Brittany, the word widow. I didn't really consider the fact that, you know, I think most people, when they think of a widow, they think of someone that's older.
- [24:47]
B
Yeah.
- [24:47]
A
A lot of chin hairs or.
- [24:49]
B
Yeah, you're right.
- [24:51]
A
Is it more common than people would realize?
- [24:54]
B
Shockingly common. And that is. What's wild is I had no idea until I walked through it just kind of like, really any loss or pain, you know, when. When you walk through miscarriage, all of a sudden you're like, man, a lot of my friends have walked through miscarriages. And I. I just didn't even realize the depth of the pain until I walk through it. Or you walk through child loss and then you realize there's so many other people or cancer or sickness or any type of pain or suffering, and really your eyes are open to it. But of people that are young walking through suffering and pain, that look normal on the outside and on the inside, they feel like they're dying.
- [25:29]
A
Yeah. Wow. I want to read what you wrote. This is off of your website and I'll put the link in the show notes. People can check out what you have there. And you also have music, the elm music. And I think that's beautiful. We talked about music that you did with your brother. And what a really special thing if I put all those links. You wrote hope. Hope is the turning of my heart from the past to a future that is unknown, yet is held in God's hands. That's big, right? Like what you think it's going to be and having to surrender. You said you had to surrender your dreams. It's trusting the Lord, who is the great author to write my family story however he chooses and knowing it will be good because that's how he always writes. He is the best storyteller. No matter what surprises or turns are thrown our way, it's believing that goodness and mercy aren't just something in the dishes. They can be tasted and seen today because of Christ, it's knowing he cares more about his story, magnifying Jesus more than I do, so he will accomplish what concerns him. And I. Well, I will just have to keep holding on to hope even when I'm weary and it hurts. And so that's not circumstantial. That's an overall view of life, of trusting. Of trusting whatever your plans were and surrendering those to what's to come. Can you talk about. About your dad? You had this beautiful thing that your dad wrote Howard about. You know, it's kind of an interesting thing. I interviewed this woman recently. Her name's Amber Emily Smith. And she lost a child to drowning. And she wrote a book. It's a beautiful book. It's called the Girl on the Bathroom Floor. And I had not really considered, you know, you just think, oh, that the parents are in such a depth of pain. You think about the siblings. Right, who've lost a sibling. But she really painted a picture of everyone that is at the hospital. This is grandparents, this is aunts, this is uncles. She had a brother who was in prison at the time who couldn't be there, and I think was just, like, wrecked because he couldn't be there. And in your situation, I mean, here you are driving to the hospital with your husband's mother, you know, and here your dad is now stepping in and saying, there's these three little boys that no longer have a father figure. And he wrote this. This beautiful piece that's on your website. And you say that your. Your mom was out of town. So can you talk about the role of extended family when there's. I mean, hopefully you have it. And I know so many people don't. So then you hopefully filling it with godly friendships or, you know, community. But in your case, it's like your dad is viewing this as. Now I've got to. I've got to be part of the solution to these gaps.
- [28:06]
B
Yeah. You know, community is so important, and so I'm so blessed. I have a very rich family, like, as far as, like, so many family. You know, we have a really big family. We're very close and tight. I have wonderful extended family, and I'm so blessed with it. But I. I will never forget my dad walk in the hospital, getting to me and just sobbing, driving me home. And he shut down for days. It was crazy. God had given me a grace to plan a funeral. And my mom and my dad shut down for days and couldn't talk, which is not like them. And they said they were grieving for all of us, you know, they weren't just grieving because they adored Patrick, but they. You know, the other day my mom said, if you can imagine your most perfect, precious little baby and then the weight of the entire world and pain on them. She was like, that's what it's like to be your mom. And she's like, I've watched you because we've had a lot of pain, even the last couple years. And she said, as a mom, you never get rid of that. You carry the weight of your children with you. And so they, they showed up in powerful, amazing ways. You know, one of the very specific things I struggled with was sleep. And a lot of that's very common when you walk through loss and pain and just the shock of everything. And obviously was up throughout the night with a newborn. And so every weekend my dad would call me before the week and say, why don't you and the boys come spend the night? I'll wake up with all the little boys during the night and why don't you just sleep? You just take care of the baby. I got it. And here this grandfather with all these grandkids who works a full time job, who, you know, at that age, they're not waking up all throughout the night, right? He would take care of my boys and he would pray over them and, and he would sing over them and he would give me rest every weekend and that helped me make it through another week when I couldn't sleep well and he showed up and one of the things that he consistently did was pray over my boys and bless them, speaking life over them. Because oftentimes when you're in the middle of a really drowning season, you don't have the capacity to speak life or pray or even think straight. And so I think one of the things I want to communicate to the single mom or the mom that's overwhelmed or struggling is to communicate that I don't have the capacity to do everything right now and I need help. And so there was times where I would call my parents and say, I can feel myself shutting down and I don't want to shut down. Can I come over for a couple hours? And I would come over for a couple hours and I'd be on the couch and my parents would kind of take over and playing and I was still present and still there, but it's like I needed the break from parenting and disciplining and discipling and changing diapers. Or sometimes I would come over and I would, would just, you know, let them play in Their front yard. Because we lived in a tiny little house with no yard. And I would just run and move my body and get outside and get sunshine. But I think one of the things that we need to remember is that we can't do this on our own. Like, God never designed us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. He designed us so that we can depend on him for all the things. You know, if I think about every pain that I've ever been through. Room. It would crush me. But when I think about the ways that the Lord has carried me and the way that he is supernaturally provided through people like my dad and my mom and my brothers and all these different people that showed up for me, I'm overwhelmed that I didn't have to carry the weight by myself.
- [31:40]
A
Isn't there the scripture that says he like, bottles all our tears?
- [31:44]
B
He does. And everyone counts?
- [31:46]
A
Yeah. And that tears are seeds. I had never really heard that before, but I read it in a couple books last year with that kind of topic got brought up. Seeds for what's to come that will grow beautiful things. Your dad said. My wife was out of state, so it was just Brittany and I at the hospital crying together. My tears were not for Patrick because he knew the Lord and was in heaven. My tears are for my daughter and three young boys without a father. God immediately placed in my mind, in her that I must do my best to provide a father figure for those boys. And nearly 58 years old in a busy house, flipper and realtor. I was already spread so thin. So he's praying the same prayer you fill the gaps. I prayed for God to help me help them. And then he talked about even, like, that's a lot of time outside. You know, they're. They're on several acres. They've got a garden and flower beds and orchard and berry patch and a playground and a zip line and four wheelers and tractors and mowers and all the kinds of cool stuff that boys love. It's like you never know at what point in your life you're. You're going to be called upon to step into someone else's story and. And really play a big role. I think it's just a reminder to try and keep your faith strong.
- [32:53]
B
Yes. Because you never know. Yeah. And I think, you know, the bottom line of all of our lives is God just wants our yes on the table. And so all of us will encounter people that are walking through hard things. And sometimes the Lord gives us those ideas or those openings to have them over. You know, most likely all of us know a single mom who probably is never invited to people's houses for dinner with their kids. And that's a very common thing is people invite other families, but nobody invites other single moms. But one of the things that has changed my life forever is I was that single mom. And so now we do have single moms over. And the mom and I will talk while my husband's playing baseball in the yard. And we, you know, have the fire pit and we do, you know, s' mores and we play outside with the kids and they get interaction with my kids and with my husband and I get time with the, the mom because everybody needs to know that they matter and that they have a community and that what they're walking through, they don't have to go through it alone. And so sometimes does look like the outside time, sometimes it looks like a home cooked meal where, you know, praise the Lord for chick fil a. It ministered to me the whole time and I'm so thankful for, you know, the casseroles and the gift cards and stuff. But there's something about sitting around a table and having breaking bread with people and playing outside and having laughter and fun in the midst of pain. Kids need that time. And so I'm so grateful for the people that stepped into my life when I didn't have the capacity to. You even think, oh, we should go pick berries or we should go and do a 5K and that would be fun for them since my boys like to run. But someone stepped in and said, hey, we're doing a 5K. Do you want to come do it with us? Hey, we're going to pick blueberries today. You guys want to come along? Hey, we're going to the park today. Would you like to be a part of it? And because of that, that helped us so much. Because fun and laughter and memories help heal really hard places.
- [34:47]
A
This episode is sponsored by Better Help March gives us International Women's Day a chance to celebr celebrate women and all they carry. When I think about that, I think about so many great moms I have known. Their steady presence, the invisible work they do, the way they hold so much together without asking for applause. As a kid, you don't fully see it. As an adult, you absolutely do. Women carry so much at work, in relationships, in their homes, in their communities. The logistics, the emotional temperature of the room, the unseen responsibilities that just live in their minds and often their own emotional well, well being gets pushed to the bottom of the list. Therapy can be a space where women don't have to carry at all, a place to untangle expectations, set healthy boundaries and say out loud what feels heavy. That kind of space matters. Better help makes that support accessible. Their therapists are fully licensed in the US and follow a strict code of conduct. 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Go to womb.com that's w.com and use code outside 10 at checkout for 10% off your bike purchase excluding the wom. Excluding the womb. Wow. That's outside tin for temporary off@womb.com I love that you brought that up. There is this book I read recently. It's called Super Communicators by a man named Charles Duhig. And he was talking about how when his dad died, he said, so the book is all about communication. It's about like asking better questions and having deeper relationships. Great book. And he said when his dad passed away, he said no one asked him about his dad. He was like, I'm at this funeral home and he's like, all I want to do is talk about my dad and, and like what a great guy he was and about the eulogies and about how I feel that I'm never going to get a chance to speak with him again. And he's like, that's all I want to talk about. But he said everybody would change the subject because they felt awkward about it. And so, you know, in your case especially, like, I mean, depending on where you're at in life, it's like often when you got little kids, you know, you've got this community built around little kids. You got family friends, you know, that you get together with. What's it like and, or what advice do you give give to someone who, like, they feel awkward about it and now they don't really know what to do. Like we used to get together as families. Like, so do I invite or is that going to make that person feel awful because they're going to show up. Last time they came in, their husband was here and now they're going to come this time and the husband isn't here. It's like, how do we navigate those situations both as A person or as the community, when we really don't kind of know what you to do.
- [39:44]
B
Yeah, I know it's crazy because people are like, well, I don't want to bring them up because then they'll be as sad. Well, the reality is the person walking through loss or pain is thinking about them 247 anyway, so you're not going to trigger them thinking about them. They are thinking about them. It's kind of like the elephant in the room. And so I think that is so tricky sometimes. But for. For the person walking through loss, we desire to have the normal relationships and the normal conversations. It feels like this big elephant in the room when the reality is this elephant is going to constant live with me. Literally, I go places and, you know, people go, how many kids? And you know, they're trying to figure out our story. I mean, literally everywhere I go, you know, it's part of what God's called us to do. It's part of our story. And so I would just say to you, if you have someone walking through pain in your life, that you would just include them in. I think, just being honest, I don't know what to say right now. I feel awkward. I don't even know, do you want to talk about him? Do you want me to ask about him? Do you want to come over? Is it a trigger, you know, asking them and including them in like a human being that they are just like the friend you are? I remember one time we were going to dinner with my best friends and it felt like they were talking about everything but their husbands. And it was odd because that wasn't normal for us. We always talked about every part of our life. So about halfway in the meal, I said, I feel like it just made it maybe me, but is all you all just not talking about your husband because you're afraid that it'll make me sad or whatever? Like, I want to hear about your life. I want to be a normal friend. We have walked through everything together and I want to hear about it. And so it. They said, oh, that's exactly what was going on. It was this elephant in the room. And I was afraid I would hurt your feelings. And the reality is I was grieving no matter what, if they said something or if they didn't say something. But I think it's just communicating. I'm so sorry for what you're walking through. I cannot even imagine. And honestly, I don't even know how to show up. But I want to show up. And I love you and I think Often people think, say, what can I do to help? Just let me know if you need any help. Well, when you're drowning, you can't communicate. I need help. Hey, can you specifically do this? No. Honestly, the first couple months, I have no idea how I had diapers at my house or how I had food or how I had gas in my car, all these things. But people didn't ask me, hey, just let me know what you need. They literally showed up on my doorstep and they did something. I mean, I literally had a friend that came over with her husband, and she said, we're checking all your light bulbs and your air filter and all these things. And I would have never thought of that as a widow, but she was laying in bed one night and thinking, God, you promised to be the father of the fatherless and a defender of the widow, and you are Britney's husband right now. So how can we show up and be the hands and feet of Jesus in a way that a husband would. How can we be the hands of feet of Jesus in the way of a father would. And so I would just encourage you in your community, if you know someone walking through hard things, to keep showing up, even the awkward and even with the pain, because you are making more of a difference than you even know. I'm a different person today because I had the most incredible people that push past the awkward conversations and the pain and the. The weird questions and showing up, do I not? And they still press through. And because they did it, they held me up. And our family was able to walk through the valley of the shadow of death healthy. Because people showed up into our story and they held us, our arms up when I felt like I was drowning. And they made a difference in our life. And so you make more of a difference than you even realize.
- [43:14]
A
And sort of similar to your dad. It's like, you've got to be in a place where you are listening to God. And it's important because you just don't know what's going to happen. And I think that's such an important thing that you say, like, I. It's hard enough to delegate when you're not in a space of utter grief and life falling apart. Right.
- [43:32]
B
I'm like, absolutely right.
- [43:34]
A
That's why our kitchen has got all the gaps.
- [43:36]
B
Yes.
- [43:37]
A
Who can fix this? We don't know know, you know, you know, like, oh, my goodness. I'm constantly like, you know, I could use help. I don't even know how to get the help. You know, just things. And so when they're in that spot. Of course you're not going to be like, I need to. I need some size three diapers and, yeah, absolutely. I need someone to put gas in my car. So. What a beautiful thing, that community. They're listening to the Lord and they are able to be the hands and feet of God and. And help to fill some of those gaps.
- [44:06]
B
And when you hear those ideas, like, you know, sometimes you and I, Jenny, we may hear of a situation and have, like, a random idea pop in our head. And so many times we wrestle, like, okay, was that the Lord? Should I do it? Should I not do it? And we had this one time where my kids were sick as dogs. I mean, they were so sick they had fevers. This is before, you know, we had the grocery fairies, like, Instacart to show up at our house. You know, this was before all of that. My kids all had fevers. All they would eat was apples. We ran out of apples. I'm like, lord, what do I do? I don't have a husband to go get apples. My kids are all sick with fevers. They'll only eat apples. What do we do? And I'm like, crying out to the Lord. And it was like the trigger that sent me in the. I'm a single mom. I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe that we're alone and I'm just, like, wrestling.
- [44:49]
A
There's no one to get apples.
- [44:51]
B
Yeah. So then a couple minutes later, my doorbell rings and my friend is on the door, and she said, hi, Brittany. Well, yesterday we went to this apple orchard, and God told us that we were supposed to bring. Bring you a big bag of apples. And she's like. You could tell. Like she was wrestling with the awkwardness. And she hands me, not three apples, a bushel of apples at my door. Minutes after I prayed that prayer, God had told her the day before, knowing my kids would have fevers, knowing they would. Would only eat apples, and knowing that I. I would never view apples the same ever again. My whole life, I have seen God show up for me through apples and through people. And, you know, changed my life that she showed up. But you know what? Also, it changed her life.
- [45:40]
A
Absolutely.
- [45:41]
B
She has never been the same since. She said that changed the way that she listens to God. It changes the way she obeys God, shows the way she shows up for people. And so it is a blessing on both sides of the story when you get to be the person to be a blessing. And when you're the Person that receives. And we have seasons where we give, and we have seasons that we have received. And those seasons of receiving gives you ideas of when you're on the other side, how you can give. And God uses both of those in our lives to show us his glory and his gift Kingdom.
- [46:09]
A
Yeah. Yeah. I remember, you know, like, the first times when you get a meal for having a baby, and maybe they'll bring a little something for the older kid or they'll bring juice boxes for the old, you know, And I was like, oh, that's a silly thing. They're like, maybe I should have been doing that all along. Like, I've been missing the boat.
- [46:26]
B
And you.
- [46:27]
A
Do you get these ideas. I love that story about the apples because we're in Michigan, and this is a big thing. Like, picking apples is a big thing here in the fall. And you're not allowed to pick six, you know, like, you have to be like, $27. Here's this big bag. It's like the whole experience. And you're, like, trying to shove as many apples as you can in that bag because it was a lot of money and it's so many apples. And so what a story of abundance it is that God will, like, supply your needs over an abundance. It wasn't a small little bag. Even the bags at Costco, there's, like, seven apples in those. You know, you're right. When you go to the orchard, you can hardly hold it because there's so many.
- [47:05]
B
He cares about every detail. And he does, you know, he does exceedingly and abundantly in our lives. And I do think that we have to have the perspective and the eyes open to see it. You know, when I was praying that prayer and asking God to show up, and then he did, you know, and then I literally looked at my boys and I said, this is how God is being a father to the fatherless. He is bringing us apples today when the person brought a gift for them and. Or brought us a meal or helped clean the kitchen or help me with laundry. This is how God is being. Being the hands and feet of Jesus? This is how God is showing up in our lives. Don't you see how much he loves you? Don't you see how much he cares for us that he has not left us alone in it? And I think even having the eyes to see the ways that God is showing up in your life, even in the darkest of days, it changes our perspective to know even though this is dark and even though this is hard, this is not going to kill Me, God is going to see me through. And I used to say this passage in Psalms 1:18, I believe it's called, but it says, I will not die, but I will live, and I will declare the mercies of. Of God. And there were nights where I felt like I was going to die. Like, literally, I just thought, I don't know how you feel this much pain in your heart, in your body, and live through it. But I did live through it. But I would walk around my house and I would say that verse over and over again. I will not die. I will live, and I will declare the mercies of God. And I will tell you on the other side of it that it did not kill me. I did not die. I have lived. And I will proclaim the mercies of Jesus. He has been so good. And you know what? I watched my teenage boy the other day get on stage at church on his own without telling me. And he signed up to give his testimony. And I got there, and he got on stage. And you know what he did? He declared the mercies of God on his own. That he remembered. And he said, I remember worship music. I remember people in our house all the time loving on us. I remember experiencing the presence of God. And that is how God has held us up. And so we did not die, we did live. And we have proclaimed the mercies of God. And so even in the things that we think are going to kill us. And you think, I will never get my mouth above water to get a breath again. God will hold you up. He will make a way. And this is not the end of your story. You know, there's so much more. God has never finished writing our stories. There's so much more that he is going to do because he never wastes any pain in our lives.
- [49:29]
A
I love this verse, and I think you talk about this one, too. That a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. That's really good imagery. A smoldering wick. Like it's about to go, right? It's about to go. But it doesn't. So you're like, I feel like we're not gonna make it. And you make it about how you met Daniel.
- [49:47]
B
So this is crazy. But we was living on a family that was walking through pain, and Daniel was living on the same family. And God just brought us together through that. It's so wild. We are just obeying the Lord. It's kind of crazy because you just think, like, I was running my race, and he was running his race. And our eyes were fixed on Jesus and Lord, I don't want to waste this story. God help our eyes to just stay focused on eternity and what matters. And it's like I was running that race and I looked over and there's another person running the same race. And then God brought us together in a love story that I could have never imagined or even picked. You know, it's funny how I look back now and I'm like, I was 25 and I kept saying, I will never remarry. You know, this is going to be my story forever. And yet God had so much more ahead of me and honestly, so much that I could have not even ever imagined. And he has been so good in it.
- [50:39]
A
Wow. Wow. So people can follow you. I'll make sure. I'll put the links, follow your story with all these six kids you homeschool?
- [50:46]
B
Yeah, girl, it's. It's a madhouse over here.
- [50:50]
A
Tell us about it.
- [50:51]
B
What.
- [50:51]
A
What caused you to make the decision and what. Yeah, I mean, our, our day to day too is like a man madhouse. But it's such a good life. I'm reading this book, actually. It's like changing my life. It's by a man named Gordon Neufeld, and he wrote it with Gabber mate. And it's called hold on to your kids. And I wish I would have read it a decade ago. And it's about the importance of parent orientation, adult orientation, and how so much of our culture is set up to be peer orientation. And then kids are just like unmoored because there's no foundation there because peers are fickle and so they're just like struck struggling so badly. And I was like, oh, it's so interesting with all the time that you get with home education. It really helps with that.
- [51:31]
B
Oh, it's. That is amazing. I need to read that book. Yeah. I think when you look at. I mean, there's all different reasons why we do it, but I think when we look at the vision for our life, our kids, literally in January, my husband and I went away for a couple days and we just prayed through God. What is the vision for our family? Not the vision for today in the midst of the chaos, but what do we ultimately want to for our kids, like when they are grown, what are our goals? And it's wild because, you know, in homeschool world, you know, so often you'd be like, oh, my kids, are they getting what they need educational wise? And you know, all the questions that we ask, well, when we looked at the goals for our kids life, I'm like, nothing has to do with education. It has nothing to do with algebra. It has to do with loving God and loving people and working hard and being men and women of character and being generous and giving what God has given us to other people, giving the hope away. And so when we looked at that and you look at your goals, I mean, that's really what. What is so we can say yes to God, you know, so we homeschool to give us freedom to say yes to God, whatever that looks like. And so it's wild. We had our kids in all different schools and we were doing, you know, we have a special needs child, so we have a lot of therapies and, and all those different things and 20, 20 hits. And so our kids came home and we were doing the homework, and one day Daniel looks at me and goes, we need a homeschool. I'm like, oh, we. Oh, really? We need a homeschool. And our kids are like, like, can we homeschool? Okay, Lord, let's do it. And so we started homeschooling. And it has given us so much time, freedom. And I think too, when you have been dramatically impacted by loss and pain, you want to live your life so differently than everyone else. You know, I think it's crazy in our culture how we think, like, our goals for our life is so different, but we think we can live life like everyone else and get a different result. And that doesn't make sense, you know, so we do have to live our life differently to get a different result. We want to steward what God's given us well for the ultimate glory of the kingdom of God. And so, yeah, homeschooling looks messy and beautiful and wonderful and full with lots of people and lots of community and adventures. And we are so grateful for it. And, you know, we do it all imperfectly over here, and we are thankful for the way God holds us up through it all.
- [53:44]
A
Yep. Fills in the gaps.
- [53:46]
B
Yeah, girl.
- [53:47]
A
Okay. So what. What a life. What a life. And so many changes that you could have, have never have expected. But you're out just preaching hope and preaching that God. God can come, come through in the circumstances that you're in, that you're not alone. And even your dad said, we can't control what God allows to happen to us, but we can choose to make the best of it. He said, I choose to embrace the task and enjoy the journey. And that makes all the difference. Talk about your music. So this Is something that happened. Your first husband passed away, and you say you begin to write, write music, worship music with your brother Tim, who's a worship pastor.
- [54:22]
B
Yeah. So it's crazy. So many different things of our lives. God brings healing through. Like, for you. Your piano is amazing. I've seen you play, girl. We know Jenny's got it. And, you know, for us, we love being outside. And there's so many different healing things. But for singing has always been my thing. So he literally, right after I heard my husband passed away, I started singing a song. And when I was rocking my baby that night to sleep, I was singing, because he lives I can face tomorrow Because I live. He. He lives all fear is gone oh.
- [54:51]
A
Because I know he holds the future
- [54:54]
B
and life is worth the living Just because he lives. And so music's always been a huge healing thing. And I remember two weeks after my husband passed away, I was in the room with my little, tiny newborn, and I just started singing about his peace. Like, I just was overwhelmed with the peace of God, and I just started singing. God just was giving me these words. And so my brother was in the other room, and he's like, you need to. To write this. Maybe the Lord will use this, you know, in your own heart, but maybe he'll use it for other people. And so it was a big healing journey to write and sing music, which has always been a huge part of my story since I was a little girl, but it was definitely a part of my story in loss.
- [55:33]
A
The album is called Broken.
- [55:35]
B
Yeah.
- [55:35]
A
Right.
- [55:37]
B
And then we came out with some recent ones, which is under our normal name, you know, Brittany Price Brooker. We wrote a song on heaven because there's hardly any songs on heaven. And talking about the wrestling of longing for heaven and longing for all things to be made right, but also still on earth. And God not finished with you yet. And so that song is about the wrestling of until he's finished. This is our work here, but we can still long for heaven.
- [56:01]
A
Yeah. Okay. So a lot of options of music to listen to. The one you did with your brother is called the Elm music. Can you talk about what that came from?
- [56:08]
B
Yeah, about the God who sees. The God who is near. And all of it, you know, Elohim, the God who sees, the God who's near. He is gracious and all things, you know, and he has been near us in all of it. We've actually seen him through the loss and pain. And so that's where we came up with that.
- [56:26]
A
Yeah. Oh, so there's so much. There's so many topics to talk about. You know, it's like you start your life, like you said, it's just sort of this exhausting life with three little kids. And now you can talk to widows and widowers and parents who've adopted and parents who have kids, kids with special needs and parents who are homeschooling and. And just people in general who have gone through deep loss, who are. Who maybe have not gone through deep loss themselves, but are needing to step in to be the community members that helps someone make it through a time when they're grieving. So, I mean, yeah, you could have never imagined. Britney, what a story. And I'm so thankful that you came and spent this time to share it with us. I know you speak all over the place and share a story and help families. So it's an honor, an honor to get a chance to talk with you. Can you tell people where they can find you?
- [57:13]
B
Yeah. Thank you, sweet Jenny. Thank you for your heart, for families like us. You make such a difference, and I just want to speak that into you. I'm grateful for your yes to God and the way that you encourage so many people that you will never meet, people that feel overwhelmed and exhausted. And then they put on this podcast, and Jenny encourages them and gives them a different perspective or different ideas. So thank you for what you do. You are encouraging so many people around the world to know that they are making a difference and that they can keep going on in motherhood and that there's hope and joy and fun and laughter in it. So you can find us online, Brittany pricebricker, with Instagram, Facebook, or my website as well.
- [57:51]
A
Yeah, and I'll make sure. I'll put the link for refuge widowers as well.
- [57:55]
B
Yes. Yeah. Thank you, Brittany.
- [57:58]
A
We always end our show with the same question. What's a favorite memory from your childhood? That was outside.
- [58:03]
B
Oh, outside, y', all in the creek. I caught so many crawdads, and we played in the creek all day long, and I still can catch a crawdad super fast. And my kids are very, very amazed by my random outdoor skills.
- [58:21]
A
Good one. I remember when we first started spending time outside, there was these, like, our kids were pretty little, and there was this. We would go to this one park that had a little river, like a shell, like a creek, you know, little shell things that ran through. And there was these teenage boys that had special gloves they had. That were able to, like. I mean, they probably. So they don't get pinched. And they had this net and they were just like tearing through the creek bed and they were catching them. I think they were going to, you know, have them for dinner or something like that. And I just remember thinking, wow, like, you know, what would it be like to have kids that you can just like send off to the creek and like come back with a bag full of, of crawdads? And I just, I was in awe that this simple, simple space could hold joy and contentment for like a 1 year old, as much as it could for a 14 year old, as much as it could for a mom. You know, isn't that amazing?
- [59:10]
B
Outdoor? The creeks are the best. And literally half my childhood was at the creek and it was wonderful. And I'm so grateful. Outside has always been a huge part of our story. And honestly, for moms out there that are walking through a hard thing, I just want to encourage you to get outside, enjoy the sunshine, make good memories with with your kids, laugh and enjoy and have fun because being outside and having fun is truly healing.
- [59:34]
A
Yeah, I love that. Brittany, thank you so much for being here.
- [59:37]
B
Thank you, Jenny. I'm grateful for you.
- [59:44]
A
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- [60:15]
B
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