1KHO 757: Life Beyond Survival Mode | Crystal Paine, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode

Summary

The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast

Episode: 1KHO 757: Life Beyond Survival Mode | Crystal Paine, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode

Host: Ginny (Jenny) Yurich
Guest: Crystal Paine (Money Saving Mom)
Date: April 3, 2026

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Overview

This uplifting episode revisits foundational themes for overwhelmed parents, especially moms: moving beyond “survival mode” to a more peaceful, intentional, and joy-filled family life. Host Ginny Yurich interviews Crystal Paine—author, entrepreneur, and mother of six—about her book Say Goodbye to Survival Mode and her upcoming The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women. Together, they discuss practical strategies to reduce stress, prioritize what matters, manage family finances, and grow through both parenting and personal failures.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of In-Person Connection

• Ginny and Crystal reflect on the unique energy of in-person podcasting versus virtual conversations.
  • Crystal: “There is something about being across from one another in the same room, that same energy... it’s really hard to package you up and have people just hear you through a screen or their headphones, you know.” (02:10)
  • Ginny: “It’s a different level of connection, a different level of vulnerability.” (03:04)

2. Crystal’s Journey: From Legalism to Life Lessons

• Crystal shares her upbringing: homeschooled in a large, legalistic family and how that shaped her.
  • She started blogging at 21 about “biblical womanhood,” only to have her perspective radically shifted by outside readers questioning her beliefs.
  • She pivoted her blog to practical topics—budgeting, meal-planning—which resonated deeply with readers and led to MoneySavingMom.com.
  • Crystal: “I was homeschooled, family of nine... sometimes only had $17 a week to feed us, and so had to get really creative... That’s where MoneySavingMom.com was born.” (07:00-08:05)
• Discusses the challenge and hope in extracting beauty from a strict upbringing: “You can take this more extreme example... parse it, and it makes me feel hopeful… to take the beautiful, inspiring, helpful parts out to the world.” (Ginny, 11:24)

3. Writing and Upcoming Book

• Crystal’s published multiple books offering practical encouragement in finance, parenting, and time management.
  • “I have six kids and I’m finishing up my sixth book.” (08:36)
  • Upcoming: The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women combines memoir with practical advice, aiming to be accessible and inspiring for women at any financial stage.
  • “What you are sowing now, those seeds, your kids are paying attention, they really are.” (10:14)

4. Saying Goodbye to Survival Mode

• They dig into the overwhelm felt by mothers, with Crystal drawing from personal experience.
  • The exhaustion of early motherhood, the “slow progression in an unhealthy direction” as a norm, and the societal expectation to “do it all.”
  • Crystal: “I was trying so hard to do everything right… I set the bar so high for myself that I was constantly exhausted… a lot of it had to do with me caring so much what other people thought.” (14:59)

5. Building Healthy Habits in Overwhelm

• Advice for overwhelmed moms: start with one small, doable thing.
  • Crystal: “What is one small thing that you can commit to doing every single day? …Plan for your worst days. What can you realistically keep up on your very worst days? …Plan for that and you’re much more likely to stick with it.” (17:03)

6. “No” as a Powerful Tool: Reframing Priorities

• Ginny and Crystal affirm the necessity of saying no and permit listeners to reevaluate commitments, especially in busy or new-parent seasons.
  • Ginny: “I had an expectation that it would smooth out… but it never really does. This is a new way of living.” (22:45)
  • Crystal: “I barely follow anyone online. I just don’t have the capacity… I ask myself a lot: what’s going to matter in 25 years from now?” (24:20)
  • Consider both consequences of saying “no” and “yes.”

7. Parenting with Margin and Long-Term Vision

• The value of margin—extra time for the unexpected—illustrated with stories (e.g., the broken sump pump).
  • Crystal: “We just get so busy that we miss the warning signs… and it ends up costing us more time.” (32:47)
  • She discusses how having more margin let her respond calmly when her child overslept, avoiding escalation. (34:48)
  • Parenting with long-term vision: “What’s this [behavior] going to look like at 16? …Spending time, investing in their character is worth your time.” (27:29)

8. Making Use of Small Time Windows

• Even 6 or 12 free minutes can be used to reset (take a quick walk, spend focused time with a child).
  • Crystal: “Six minutes… can do a lot. You can completely reset your whole mood by going outside for six minutes.” (37:58)

9. Systems, Homemaking, and Lowering Standards

• Establishing routines and involving kids in home tasks reduces the mental load and stress.
  • Use simple checklists (home management, cleaning). Free resources are available on Money Saving Mom.
  • Crystal: “Sometimes you just have to lower your standards… there’s not a lot of stuff that is life or death.” (46:18)

10. Embracing Failure and Vulnerability

• Failure reframed as a learning opportunity for both moms and kids.
  • Crystal: “My success today is standing on a pile of failures… what can I learn from this, so I can do better next time?” (49:40)
  • Apologizing to your children models growth and humility: “God can use my failure as a parent to do something that’s going to impact my kids for the rest of their life if I’m willing to own my mistakes.” (circa 51:45)

11. Marriage, Money, and Communication

• Crystal, a saver, and her husband, a spender, learned to appreciate and balance their differences.
  • Crystal: “I had to reframe how I view him… he just wanted to take care of me. The way he shows love is by spending money.” (53:55)
  • Open communication and compromise strengthened their marriage.

12. Preview: The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women

• Accessible, story-driven, and aimed at inspiring women to take control regardless of background or math ability.
  • “I wanted this to be really accessible… it’s not about numbers and math… but prioritization and discipline.” (58:11)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “There is something about being across from one another in the same room, that same energy.” – Crystal Paine (02:10)
• “I’ve always been someone who is really hard to put in a box. I have so much passion and so many things I’m interested in…” – Crystal Paine (04:49)
• “I was homeschooled, family of nine… sometimes only had $17 a week to feed us, and so had to get really creative.” – Crystal Paine (07:00)
• “What you are sowing now, those seeds, your kids are paying attention, they really are.” – Crystal Paine (10:14)
• “A lot of it had to do with me caring so much what other people thought, feeling like I had to live up to this impossible standard.” – Crystal Paine (14:59)
• “What is one small thing that you can commit to doing every single day?... Plan for your worst days.” – Crystal Paine (17:03)
• “I ask myself a lot: what’s going to matter in 25 years from now?” – Crystal Paine (24:20)
• “You can reframe [failure]… My success today is standing on a pile of failures.” – Crystal Paine (49:40)
• “God can use my failure as a parent to do something that’s going to impact my kids for the rest of their life if I’m willing to own my mistakes.” – Crystal Paine (approx. 52:15)
• “I had to reframe how I view [my husband]… The way he shows love is by spending money.” – Crystal Paine (53:55)
• “I wanted this to be really accessible… it’s not about numbers and math… but prioritization and discipline.” – Crystal Paine (58:11)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:11 – Introductions and reflections on in-person vs. virtual interviews
• 05:31 – Crystal’s backstory: growing up homeschooled, legalism, first blogs
• 08:36 – Crystal’s books, writing journey, preview of sixth book
• 14:59 – Discussion of feeling perpetually behind and exhausted as a young mom
• 17:03 – Practical advice for overwhelmed moms: “Start with one small thing.”
• 22:45 – The necessity and challenge of saying no and reprioritizing as a mom
• 24:20 – Social media minimalism and focusing on what will matter decades from now
• 27:29 – Parenting with margin, investing in character, and long-term vision
• 32:47 – Story: sump pump failure as a metaphor for margin and preventative living
• 37:58 – Using small windows of time well instead of defaulting to phone scrolling
• 46:05 – Practical home management, systems, lowering unrealistic standards
• 49:40 – Discussing failure, reframing as learning, and modeling vulnerability
• 53:55 – Marriage and money: balancing saver and spender personalities
• 56:33 – Upcoming book details: The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women
• 58:11 – A finance book for women that’s accessible, story-driven, and supportive

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Tone and Final Thoughts

The conversation is empathetic, wise, and deeply practical—rooted in real experiences and gentle encouragement. Both Ginny and Crystal blend relatability with solid advice, stressing that small changes add up and that families thrive not by being perfect, but by being present and intentional.

“You can completely reset your whole mood by going outside for six minutes… How can you serve your tomorrow self today? And these little things really do add up.” – Crystal Paine (37:58-40:00)

This episode provides hope and actionable steps for anyone longing to leave exhaustion behind and embrace a calmer, fuller family life—one hour at a time.

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Resources Mentioned

• Say Goodbye to Survival Mode by Crystal Paine
• The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women (preorder info forthcoming)
• MoneySavingMom.com (free simplified home checklist & practical resources)
• Love Centered Parenting, The Money Saving Mom's Budget, The Time Saving Mom (books by Crystal Paine)

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For more tools, resources, and book links, visit MoneySavingMom.com

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Podcast Host (Sponsor Segment)]

We have had a lot of conversations on this show about how every child is different and how, especially for kids with ADHD or other learning differences, the world can feel a little overwhelming sometimes. And if you're parenting a child like that, I want to point you to a podcast called Everyone Gets a Juice Box. It's a space where parents are just being really honest with each other about what this journey actually looks like. The questions, the doubts, the small wins, all of it. One part of a recent episode that really stuck with me was this mom who was talking about how she started noticing things early on. Little signals that something might be different. But at the same time, everyone around her was. Was saying, she's fine. And she described that feeling so well, that back and forth between, I know something's going on and what if I'm overreacting? I think so many parents have felt that tension. And then when she shared this moment where her daughter said, I can feel it talking about her body not giving her the signals she needed. And it opened up this whole understanding about how some kids experience the world so differently on a sensory level. It was such a powerful reminder that often our kids are having a hard time, and the more we understand what's going on beneath the surface, the better we can show up for them. I really appreciated how thoughtful and honest the whole conversation was. So if that sounds like something you need right now, go give it a listen. To listen Search for Everyone gets a juice Box in your podcast app. That's Everyone Gets a Juice Box.

[Jenny Urgent]

Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Jenny Urgent, the founder of 1000 Hours Outside, and one of my favorite guests is back today, Crystal Payne.

[Crystal Paine]

Welcome, Jenny. I am so excited to be here today. I have been looking forward to this interview for weeks, ever since it got on my calendar. So thank you for having this conversation with me.

[Jenny Urgent]

I love what you're doing. I love all of your books. You have so many pieces of practical advice for today's families, often specifically for mothers. And I just want to say, you know, looking at you through the screen, I have been in the room where you're sitting. You have a podcast room in your basement, in your home. And it was the first ever podcast I'd ever done in person. I usually just, you know, all my stuff is, like, on a screen. We're in the middle of some small town in, like, near Ann Arbor, Michigan. Like, nobody comes here. So I just got so emotional when we were talking, and I just thought, oh, it's really a different. It is a different Conversation when you're sitting across the table from someone, you know, it's interesting.

[Crystal Paine]

Years ago when I started my podcast, it was actually the nester, if you know Miklin Smith, she was going to be in town and she was like, could I come and do my podcast in person? And I was like, well, I've never done that before, but I think it was like episode 18 or something. I was brand new podcaster and I was so nervous, so nervous about doing this in person. Yeah, I loved it because there is something about being across from one another in the same room, that same energy. Like you bring so much energy to a room. And I think people who haven't met you in person, they can probably feel it like through a screen or feel it through their headphones. But to meet you in person, like, it's really hard to package you up and have people just hear you through a screen or through their headphones, you know. So it's really fun when I then get to re, you know, do another interview with someone that I've met in person because I feel like there's synergy that we have because of that.

[Jenny Urgent]

Yeah, it's just a different level of connection. It's a different level of vulnerability, I think, when you're sitting across the table from someone and having an in depth conversation. I actually, I've not done hardly any in person, maybe three or four. But one of the ones I went to Toronto for, this man named Neil Patricia who interviews people about their three most formative books in their life. It's a really interesting concept. And we did in person there. And he said that, you know, you, you strike up this relationship no matter if it's online or if it's in person. But he said every single one that has been in person, he's like, we actually are. If friends, we're friends. It changes, you know, it changes the whole thing. So it was a really.

[Crystal Paine]

That's what I started only doing in person interviews then. Because after that I was like, I love this so much. I feel like you get to know someone at such a deeper level.

[Jenny Urgent]

Yeah.

[Crystal Paine]

By being in the same room.

[Jenny Urgent]

Yeah. And you bring them into your home and anyway, I just wanted to say it was like a formative experience for me. It was my first one ever in person and I've hardly had any others. But I just, I remember being like, and now I'm crying because it's just a different level of intimacy. So I would love that people could hear a little bit of your backstory, so they may know you as Money Saving mom. And people can find out [e-mail] but really you speak about way more than just saving money. I mean, and I shouldn't even say just saving money. It's a huge deal. You speak about way more than saving money. Really speak about home life and community and serving and hospitality and so you have branched out. But it's a lot of the beginnings were about, you know, coupons and how can we kind of make our budget go further. At what point did it start to spoke out or did you always feel like, you know what, I want to include more for families?

[Crystal Paine]

You know, I feel like that I've always been someone who is really hard to put in a box. I have so much passion and so many things I'm interested in that for me to just only talk about one subject would be very, very boring. I would just get real bored of it real fast. So I do on Money Saving mom, like we talk about money and I talk about money a lot. I do share about my family a little bit, but my podcast and really my Instagram, those are the places for me to talk about all the other things that I'm passionate about. And when I started, I actually did not start with money. Savingmom.com so I started with some other blogs and should we go there? Should we talk about my first blog?

[Jenny Urgent]

Yes, we should talk about it.

[Crystal Paine]

Okay. Okay. So first off, got to back the train up a little bit. My husband I were both homeschooled and come from large families, came from a very legalistic culture back when homeschooling was very, a very new phenomenon. There was a lot of legalism around it. I mean, there was just there, I feel like there's so much beauty in homeschooling now because there's so much, there's so much grace out there. There's. There's just so much. So many wonderful things with homeschooling now. But back in the day there weren't many options and a lot of them involved. And so we were raised in a really legalistic culture. And so I came out of that when I got married, but I was still in it, if that makes sense. And so I started this blog when I was 21 years old called biblical womanhood. Because you know, every 20 year old who doesn't even, you know, I had, was just barely had my first child. Knows everything about how to be a biblical woman. I mean, I knew it all, I had it all figured out and I started writing about it on this blog and it was just really interesting because God used that like you were talking about formative experiences. And God really used that in my journey to shape me in ways that I never would have envisioned. Because actually these. This feminist atheist forum found my blog and they started coming to me and saying, hold up. Like, where is that in the Bible? And it really caused me to have to start reading God's word, not through the lens of this legalistic viewpoint, but for what it actually said. And it radically transformed my life. And so I shut that blog down. But in the process of having the blog, one thing that I learned is that a lot of people are really interested in saving money. And so Money Saving mom was born out of that because I wanted to have a blog that was just specifically about saving money. Because, like I talked about, I was homeschooled, family of nine. So part of my home EC was to do menu planning, shopping, cooking for a family of nine for two years. And so I learned so much through that. Went into marriage, really well equipped to be able to live on a really tight budget. My husband, I sometimes only had $17 a week to feed us, and so had to get really creative. And so I started sharing more about that on that biblical womanhood blog and realized that this is something that I'm really good at, this is something I'm passionate about, and this is something that people really are hungry for. And that's really where money savvy mom.com was born from. That was over 20 years ago.

[Jenny Urgent]

And. And it's a situation where if all of a sudden you've got kids and you're trying to make your dollar stretch and you don't have that childhood experience, which I think most don't, their mom made all the meals or their, you know, their dad did all the shopping or whatever the situation was, and you didn't have any touch point with it at all, then all of a sudden you're totally lost. And so because you'd had those years of childhood experience, you already knew what you were doing and you're passing it on to others. So in time, you have written an incredible amount of books. Like an incredible. Do you even know how many?

[Crystal Paine]

Oh, I know how many. Yes. I have six kids and I'm finishing up my sixth book.

[Jenny Urgent]

So I think maybe my last six kids, six books. The one that we're going to be talking about today is say goodbye to survival mode. This one's been around for a little bit. Nine simple strategies to stress less, sleep more, and restore your passion for life. The other two, I have sitting here. But I have more than this. Are love centered parenting. The no fail guide to launching your kids. Beautiful. Beautiful. I also have the money Saving mom's budget. Slasher spending. Pay down your debt, streamline your life and save thousands a year. You have the. You have time Save the time Saving mom. That maybe is the one that we talked about last time because you know, it's like if you want to make memories, you want to get outside with your kids, you got to figure out how to manage your time. And you have more than that. I'll make sure I'll put a link in the show notes. But since that got brought up, can you tell us about the one? It probably will be out for pre order by the time this podcast goes live. Book number six.

[Crystal Paine]

Yes. So book number six, we are bringing it back to money. So my first book was about money. And maybe my last book, we don't know, we'll see is going to be about money. It's called this the seven Habits of financially healthy Women. And I am super, super excited about it because it is part memoir. I go back and I share a lot about my childhood and I share a lot about these financial principles that my parents instilled in me and talk about them building their house debt free when I was a young girl and how I gle gained so much from watching the way that they live their life and how I really want to stand on their shoulders. And that's inspired where I am today because of that. So I share a lot of that, which I hope is just really inspiring to especially parents, you know, to see how what you are sowing now, those seeds, your kids are paying attention, they really are paying attention. And it really is going to pay off in big dividends down the road. Even if you feel like right now I don't think anybody's paying attention, they are. And so, so that. And then also just very practically, we dive into, you know, what are these habits that I felt like I spent a lot of time just really thinking about? What are the habits that anyone can implement, no matter if you have a lot of money, if you have almost no money at all, that really could help change your financial trajectory. And that doesn't mean that you're going to be in this place where you have tons of money necessarily, but that you're going to be in this place where you have this financial situation, stability and this peace. And to be able to live from that space of peace when it comes to your finances is just a really beautiful thing. And I saw that in my parents, and now I get to experience it, my life right now. And it gives you the opportunity to be able to give generously and live in a way that can really change your community.

[Jenny Urgent]

Yeah. I think something that I caught from what you just said that's so beautiful is that you are like, okay, well, we grew up in. It was this legalistic environment. You know, homeschooling at that point was a legalistic. More legalistic environment. I got to talk to Ginger Duggar from the duggars, like, the 19 kids and counting. She wrote a really fantastic book about, you know, the sort of legalistic upbringing and. And how to sort of sort through that and unwind it, untangle it. But, you know, it kind of gives me hope because it's like, okay, every childhood is going to have things that have beautiful parts that you could pass on to other people. How do you meal plan for a large family? How do you have a budget? You know, how do you run your finances? And you can take this more. I don't. Extreme is probably the wrong word, but, like, most people don't have nine kids. You know, this more extreme example. And. Okay, then it might even be easier for you because you might have less than nine kids. So you were able to, like, parse it, I guess. And so it makes me feel hopeful because I'm like, okay, my kids are going to have some crummy stuff that they're going to have to sort through, and you've been able to take the beautiful, inspiring, helpful parts out to the world.

[Crystal Paine]

Yeah. You know, it's interesting you brought up Ginger Duggar, because we always say the Duggars would have been so worldly compared to what we, like, are like. So think about that. Like, that's really where. How we were raised. And my husband did the whole courtship thing, you know, didn't ever have. We were never alone without a parent until we got married. So it was just. It was. It was. You know, I look back and I know, yes, there have been some challenges with that, and. And God has had to do a lot of work in my heart. But also, I know that my parents did it from a place of love. Like, they truly, truly loved me and wanted the best for me. And so I can see that. And I can appreciate that. And I also can know that, like you said, like, my kids are gonna have a lot of things that I have sewn into their life that aren't the best that they're gonna have to process through as well. And we all are just doing the best that we can and trusting that, you know, God is going to pick up the pieces. And, you know, I'm like, and I will pay for your therapy because I'm sure you're so.

[Jenny Urgent]

Yeah. And like, what you just hope is that they just grab onto the good parts and can you just take the good parts out into the world, Help other people with what you've learned? And that's what you're doing. And over the past 20 years, you've helped so many families. And one of the things about saying goodbye to survival mode, which I think is so relatable. Crystal. Like, you know, we were talking about how before we started, it's like, oh, spring's on the horizon, then it's summer. And everyone's trying to figure out like already one of my daughters was like, there's this, she's in a play this weekend, Frozen Junior. And there is in the summer, like a theater camp, a one week theater, you know, day camp type thing. Anyway, so she sent me the flyer. It's Winnie the Pooh. I was like, oh, great. I go on, it's already, it's already on a wait list. I was like, come on, it's February. So, you know, it's like this, this frazzled. It's so relatable. So obviously the money is a, is a way that, you know, a component of feeling frazzled. So that's something you talk about in this book. But we'll go more in depth in. In the 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women that's coming out in September. But can you just talk about this, this state of being frazzled and tired and behind. You gave a story in here. And I know you wrote this a bit ago, but the story was like, I'm supposed to take my kids and go out with some friends and I'm so behind, I can't even meet up with my friends and their kids.

[Crystal Paine]

Yeah. And you know, I think I look back when I had my three, my first three kids because we have. So our kids are now 21, 18 and 16. And then we have five, five and three. So we, we got to. I got to do it again, which is kind of this really cool thing that most moms don't get to do. And so I got to make a lot of mistakes, learn from them and try it again in a different way. But I know in my young, were really little, I was trying so hard to do everything right. And I, I really feel like a lot of that had to do with kind of being raised in that legalism and just really, like, I set the bar so high for myself that I was constantly exhausted. And a lot of it had to do with me caring so much what other people thought, feeling like I had to live up to this impossible standard. And I just carry around this weight of like, there's so much to do and I'm so behind and it just was exhausting. And I remember so many nights staying up really late and then getting up really early and it just felt like I was always, always, always behind.

[Jenny Urgent]

Yeah. So this book is from 2014, but still so applicable. I highly recommend it. Say go back to survival mode and all of your other books you talked about. And I think this is super relatable that it was a slow progression in an unhealthy direction. And I, I think there's gotta be a lot of grace for that because it's new. You know, you're. You don't know what to expect when you become a mom. You don't know how the sleepless nights are gonna go. And often you're used to carrying this and saying yes to that and volunteering for this. And all of a sudden you have someone who's dependent on you 24, 7 for a long time. And that's, I think, until they're eight. And then, you know, it might get a little bit. Not even for everybody. Right. If you've got a special needs situation. So, you know, it's not, not, it's not going to be the, you know, the same thing for every person. But it's such a long time. So can you, can you talk to the newer mom about, like, how to better make decisions in an unknown situation?

[Crystal Paine]

I remember having my first child and I remember thinking, I have no idea how someone has more than one child. Like, how do you have more than one child? This is all consuming, completely overwhelming. My first child did. She did not sleep well at all. And you know, they say like newborns are supposed to sleep 18 hours a day. It was, we were doing good if she would sleep eight hours a day. And you know, I look back and there was just so much that I didn't know. And I was, we were living in this little tiny basement apartment. My husband's in law school. We had moved away from family. I didn't have support and it was so, so overwhelming to me. And you know, I think if I could have fast forwarded to see my life now, I'd have been like, there's no way. Like, you can't do that. But I feel like that God gives you grace for what he's called you to in that moment. And so I think, you know, for the moms that are just feeling so overwhelmed, the thing that I would really encourage you to start with is just like, what is one small thing? Like, what is one small little thing that you can commit to doing every single day? And so maybe that is, you know, I'm gonna get up and go outside for 30 seconds in the morning and look at the sunlight before I look at a screen. You know, just a tiny, tiny little thing that you can do that kind of can help to ground you for your day. And I feel like maybe that's making your bed or maybe that's making a simple but healthy breakfast or going on taking, you know, your baby out and going on a walk, whatever it is, like, find that one thing and just start with that. And then once that becomes a habit, then add one more little thing. I think the thing that we so often do is we're like, this is not working. So then I feel like I have to overhaul my whole life overnight. And that doesn't work. You're gonna just exhaust yourself. And also to plan for your worst days. And so what can you realistically keep up with on your very worst days? Plan for that and you're much more likely to actually follow through and stick with it.

[Podcast Host (Sponsor Segment)]

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[Jenny Urgent]

I love this whole part about just like, can we say no more? Can we. Can we say no? And you kind of go through a process in this book of, of determining what your priorities are, but it's tricky. It's tricky when you don't know, especially in those new newborn years. Newborn. Newborns aren't years, but like, in the newborn stage. Going into those toddler years, I just remember thinking so many times, Crystal, like, when will my life get back to how it was is? And I had an expectation that it would add an expectation that at some point this is going to kind of like, smooth out and have, you know, and I. You can have some routine, obviously, but like, it never really does. And so I think it's about your book. Helps you to learn, like, this is a new way of living. So what you maybe would have said yes to before. It's like you're giving people permission to, to shift and to say no. You know, that's not part of my priority list anymore. You say, we're taught that we need to be.

[Podcast Host (Sponsor Segment)]

Yes.

[Jenny Urgent]

Women. One of the things that you cleared out of your sort of schedule. Clutter. This is all the way back in 2014. I thought this was so interesting, Crystal, was Facebook. I mean, this is, this is long before there was the AI algorithms even. And you would say, you know what? I noticed my five minutes turns into 25 minutes and we're just looking at other people's lives. It's like digital voyeurism, you know, like, what. Who's commenting on who? And you're like, I don't even know who these people are. And obviously in the last 12 years, it's just gotten so much more addictive. Can you talk to young moms? Like, what can we cut out?

[Crystal Paine]

Well, one of the things that really helps me. It's interesting you said Facebook, because I still to this day, like, recently I had to set up a Facebook account so that I could have it connected to my Facebook page. I do have a Facebook page for my business, but I don't do Facebook. Like, that's just something that I cut out of my life years and years ago and I still have stuck with it. I barely follow anyone online. Like, that is one thing that I do. I just have decided if I don't care what you're having for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then I'm not going to follow you. Which, that sounds weird, but it's like I. I just am. Like I do not have the capacity to follow thousands of people and care deeply about thousands of people and even hundreds of people. And so I feel like, you know, to keep. Like, for me it's really important to go deep in community. And so to have a few people that I go deep with instead of hundreds of people that you feel like you have to keep up with or you're following or whatever. But I think the thing that has really helped me is to zoom out and to think of what's going to matter in 25 years from now. Like, what's really going to matter? And I ask myself a lot that question. When we're making decisions, like with my kids, you know, should we do this thing? Should. Is it okay if, like, I don't show up for this thing or I don't do this thing, or what about, you know, enrolling them? You're talking about like the play or the theater thing, you know, like really thinking, like, what is going to matter in 25 years from now? And if there's an opportunity for me, business wise or with a friend or something to think about, okay, what is going to matter long term. And that has really, really helped me to kind of cut through all the noise and make better decisions when I think of that, because so often we can get stuck in today. Like, we're just so focused on getting through today that we are not thinking of the future and not making decisions based upon the future.

[Jenny Urgent]

Okay, so then I'm gonna have you answer the question. Because I do think it's hard when you have a bunch of toddlers at home or your kids are 8 and under, 10 and under. You just don't really know what's gonna matter long term. And so you make decisions, I think, based off of partial information or what everyone else is doing. And you had such a great question in here to ask yourself. What are the consequences if I say yes to this? I think we all, I mean, for me, I was like, oh, I never asked myself that question. I only ever ask myself, myself, what are the consequences if I say no? And then there is actually tonight, there is this. I Don't know, influencer thing. It's tonight, like we're talking and it's in Franklin, like right near you, some influencer thing. And I got invited and I was like, I really can't do that. Like, I'd have to fly in on Wednesday, I'd have to find a place to do my podcast on Thursday, all day. Then I go to this thing, I have to fly home and I got a kid in the play and I'm supposed to do microphones and I'm like, I just really can't. And all I was thinking about before I, you know, was reviewing your book was, oh, I'm gonna miss out, miss out on that. But it's a big reframe to say, what are the consequences if I say yes to something? You say your kids are only young ones, right? So for someone who, you know, you've got kids that are grown, they are adults. What, what is going to matter long term?

[Crystal Paine]

Well, and that is the benefit of having adults and still having like little kids, like getting to do it again. We had three. Our, our second round of kids, we had three and the oldest was two. And so we like, I've done the lots of little kids thing and I really think about, like playing out these things as they get older. And this might sound weird, but like, I will think about behaviors that my now, you know, five year old is having. Okay, what's that gonna be like when she's 16? And I think so often we don't think about that and then we let things slide. Just this morning, I know this is kind of a tangent, but I really think this plays into especially for moms who are feeling so overwhelmed. Yesterday I posted something about parenting and someone came and commented and they were like, well, that doesn't work because what about having to tell your kid to take the trash out again and again and again? And I just told this mom, I said, here's the thing, we gotta clearly communicate our expectations to our kids. And then we clearly communicate consequences. And then you stick with it. Consistency. Clearly communicate consequences and consistency. When you do that as a mom, then if they don't take the trash out, you don't have to keep nagging them. You're just like, okay, didn't take the trash out. There's the consequence. And the more that you do that, it actually makes your life run so much smoother because you're not constantly having to deal with these escalating situations because you just to want, just weren't. You didn't have consequences, you didn't communicate and you weren't consistent. And so it's hard in the beginning, it is hard because you gotta stick with it. But I promise you that it actually does pay off. And so I spend a lot of time right now really, really investing in my younger kids because I know that these are the formative years and I want to be making sure that we are forming their little hearts as best as possible and helping them to learn something, these skills and this character because it's going to pay off big time when they're a teenager. And so for moms that are saying like I don't know, what is a priority? Well, I can tell you that spending time with their children, really investing in them, really helping to shape their character, that is worth your time. Like that is something that when they are 16, when they're 18, when they're 21. My 21 year old called me this morning. She like, I can't take any credit. Like she has just done amazing things in life and. But she called me this morning, she's like, mom, I'm going into this big conference. She works for a state representative, senator, sorry. And she also has this insurance business and she was going into this big conference she was having to represent him. And she said, he called me yesterday, he had all these things that he wanted me to make sure to questions to ask people to talk to all this stuff. And she said, mom, I'm just a little overwhelmed. And because he told me, he said you are so much older than you, than your age in the way that you act, but people aren't going to expect that of you because you're this, this little college girl. She's really. And so he's like, you have to go into this situation and you have to like actually demand that respect in the way that you interact with people. And so we were just having this conversation and I was just thinking what a gift that my daughter is coming to me and saying like basically, can you give me a pep talk before I go into this situation that I feel kind of overwhelmed with. But also what a gift that she gets these opportunities and, and I just share that with the young mom who is like has the three year old that you're over and over and over and over. All you're doing right now it feels like is just correcting and nurturing and disciplining and discipling and it's, it's overwhelming. Like it is going to pay off someday and it is worth it. It is so worth it. And now that I have you Know this, these two sets of kids, my younger kids, I realize it goes by so fast and everybody tells you that, but it truly, truly does. And so do not miss these moments of really getting to invest in them because I promise you, you're not going to look back and be like, like, you know what? I really regret that I spent all that time investing in them.

[Jenny Urgent]

Oh, I love that. Because when you have your five year old, you just can't ever their wiggly tooth or whatever. You can't ever imagine like what are they going to be doing out in the adult world. Yeah. And so that those are the things that really matter. And one of the things that you talked about, what you brought up briefly earlier was, you know, when you're in these stages and it really could be at any age, you know, you're driving kids all over the place or any, at any point when you're feeling frazzled and stressed, you talked about leaving margin and you told a story. I would imagine you're going to remember this story even though it's a while ago because it seems like a pretty significant story where your sump pump broke. And I just, I was such a great story because I think often we're like scheduled to the tilt, like all the way to the top. We want to squeeze everything we can out of the day. And you're like there's no room for when things go wrong and things go wrong.

[Crystal Paine]

Yes. Yeah. It was the situation for those of you who don't have sump pumps. I realized because I've told this story when I've traveled and I'm like lived in Kansas and so you have the sump pump that when the water, when it rains water can flood your basement. But it's this machine that kind of gets the water so it won't flood your basement. And so we. I had noticed that I like it needed to be fixed and I hadn't done anything about it. And then it rained and it, it flooded our basement. And it was that, you know, had I taken care of when that little nagging voice had been like, you need to fix that. Had I done that, I would have then saved hours and hours and hours of time when our basement flooded. And how so often we just get so busy that we miss the warning signs. And actually this year in my life I have cut way, way, way back, like way back on my work hours, on my commit and it's been really scary for me to do that, but it is. I am learning to re regulate my nervous system and it has been the most amazing experience to do that. And so some of the things that I wrote, like in say goodbye to survival mode, I'm having to learn them again this year. And I can just tell you that having that margin in your life, it is so worth it. And just the other day, one of my kids, they had overslept and they had set multiple alarm clocks, had slept through their alarm clocks, and so they. They were supposed to go to some important thing, and they overslept, and I went up to the room and they were still asleep, and I woke them up, and they were just immediately really upset and, you know, like, overslept and all this. And because I had the margin in my life, because it wasn't like I had 27 other things I needed to do right then, I was able to just stop and be like. Like, hey, it's going to be okay. We're going to figure this out. It's okay. Like, give me a minute.

[Jenny Urgent]

Let's.

[Crystal Paine]

Let's think about a solution. And we were able to then just, you know, deescalate the situation and figure out a solution. It all worked out just fine. And they learned a lesson, like, tomorrow they have something important. And I was like, are you setting five alarms? But I just was thinking in that moment, how had I had. Had so many other things going that I needed to do, I would have felt. Felt very frazzled. And when they felt frazzled, I would have also. And I. They're probably. I would have responded to them in frustration, and that would have only just made the situation so much worse, Right? But because I could come from this place of peace, then they ended up, when they left a little while later, they were so. Just cheerful and happy. And I just thought, thank you, Jesus, Jesus, that you have helped me to have more peace in my heart so that I can bring that peace to my home, so that their day started from this peaceful place when it could have just. They could have just felt so much frustration.

[Jenny Urgent]

I mean, your life would be so different if you asked, what are the consequences of saying yes? If you. When you looked ahead at your schedule, if you were taking a couple hours of blocks of time, like, I know you've talked about, we talked about this before, but, like, you know, you're going to. You sometimes almost reset midday. Like, what was I able to do? What was realistic, you know, and there's buffer built in there.

[Podcast Host (Sponsor Segment)]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. One of the things I've noticed over the years, both in our own life and in conversations with so many families, is how deeply financial stress can affect a marriage. It's rarely just about the money. It's about the pressure and the different expectations and the conversations that feel hard to have or the ones we avoid altogether. And I think for a lot of us, we come into marriage with completely different money stories. How we were raised is what we believe about spending or saving, what feels safe or scary. And when stress hits, those differences can really start to feel big. I've had moments where finances feel heavy, and it would have been easy to let that tension create distance instead of connection. But what I've learned is that sometimes what we actually need isn't a better budget. It's better tools for communicating, processing and understanding each other. That's where therapy can make a real difference. It's not about financial advice. It's about working through the stress, the anxiety, and even the conflict that money can bring into a relationship so you feel more like a team. Again, better help makes that kind of support easier to access. They match you with a licensed therapist based on your needs. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime. With over 30,000 therapists and millions of people served, it's a resource that's helping a lot of people feel less alone when life feels overwhelming. Therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] 1000 hours that's better. Hlp.com 1000 hours

[Jenny Urgent]

the other thing that you talk about, and I think this is so common, is that maybe we

[Podcast Host (Sponsor Segment)]

do have a little bit of buffer we got.

[Jenny Urgent]

And you know, when you have an infant, I guess I almost feel like it's a little bit of a wave. You know, if you have an infant that doesn't sleep, you've got no buffer. But if you have an infant that does sleep and then you end up with this toddler, you know, that's just kind of getting into everything. You have periods of time where you might have zero minutes, but then sometimes you, you've got six minutes or sometimes you've got 12 minutes and you're like, sometimes we waste that.

[Crystal Paine]

Yeah, it's so easy because I think as moms, you're tired and there's so much going on and so many people need you that then you just be like, I'm just going to scroll on my phone. You know, like I just time. I'm just going, my phone. But what if you were instead to put your child in the stroller and go take a walk, like a six minute walk. And you might be like, well, six minutes, that's not going to do much. I'm like, like that can do a lot. Like you can completely reset your whole mood by going outside for six minutes and, and so just really thinking of, okay, how can I use this little bit of time? Or maybe just sitting with your child and reading a book, you just spending time with them, but what can you do throughout the day to just kind of really cause there to be peace? I read a quote the other day that, that it was about how instead of asking how much can I get done in the day, how can I be relaxed while I do it? And that's really what I have been trying to implement of just this, this place of I'm at peace and like doing things to help, like starting my day with things that really help me have that peaceful spirit to go into the day. And then also changing my perspective. Having a child, our five year old has very, very significant disabilities and he has completely changed our life. Because where I would have used to have seen when the kids make a big mess, I would have seen that is like such a frustrating thing. Now I view it as, look at all the developmental things that they're doing in that, you know, like, and it just, it changes your perspective. And he's just really slowed me down in the best of ways to really know, notice and appreciate. Just right before I came onto this podcast, my husband was up in our closet getting him dressed. And it takes a very long time to get him dressed if you let him help, which we are really trying to encourage him to learn how to, you know. And so he had his little sock and he had it like up to his foot and he was just sitting there and my husband was just laughing and like, good job, David. And I just thought like, how usually we can just get in this mode of like, come on, get your socks on, get your socks on. And one thing that I've noticed in that I've really been working on is how often I see, say hurry up as a mom and really trying to take that out of my vocabulary. Like, instead of saying because that's only going to stress everybody out. So, you know, there are different ways to encourage them to be a little faster. Like, hey, let's see how quickly we can do this or something. But also what can I do and what can I put in place so that I don't have to say hurry up. And some of that is maybe like, like less times that we need to get out of the door, like scheduling that. Fewer things. But then also can I get things ready the night before that's one thing that I really try to do is have everything ready the night before if we need to get out the door in the morning. It makes mornings so much smoother when it's just. It's all done. And so it takes a little bit more work on my end the night before, but then in the morning, it pays off big dividends. And so, like, how can I serve my tomorrow self today? What can I do today that's going to make a big difference tomorrow? And just, it can take five or 15 minutes and it can save so much stress the next day. And these little things really do add up.

[Jenny Urgent]

Do you know many other people who have gotten to have this, like, almost like, go around again with their kids? You know, you've got that age gap in between about a decade. You know, that. That get to look at it from the perspective of raising kids to adulthood and now being able to have the perspective of. Because you just don't know what you don't know. Like, you know, you might think it matters that they're faster, but you. But now you're like, oh, I mean, I know it doesn't really matter. We can take our time. Are you friends with any other moms who are. I don't really know. Hardly anyone.

[Crystal Paine]

Yes. I feel like I'm in a really unique place and space, and it's very interesting because I have mom friends who are like, all over the spectrum of age. Like, one of my closest friends is 15 years younger than me. And, you know, in such, you know, she just has two little kids and. But I just. I learned so much from her. And so, yes, it's. I have this unique perspective of having kids and younger kids of what really matters. And there is so little. Little. So little that really matters and so much to just be celebrated in our kids. Like, really, you know, just speaking life to our kids. I just think we have this opportunity as moms to make such a difference in the way that we speak to our kids and the way that what we bring to our home in our attitude and mood, it really changes everything. And, you know, even in the middle of. There's always a lot going on in our home. Like, there's never a day when it's dull at our home. There's always so much going on. But in the middle of that, when you have this perspective of what's going to matter in 25 years and you leave that margin and that space, like, I really try to leave a lot of margin and space for the interruptions, because interruptions are Either a source of frustration or you can see them as an opportunity. And so really trying to see it as an opportunity to invest in this person and to leave space for that. And then there's just, I get to go through out my day just eagerly anticipating, like, what is today gonna bring? Like, I'm so excited for what today is going to bring and the opportunities that are going to be in today that I don't know. And to then just get to see. See this beauty in my kids and, you know, just to call that out and to just really enjoy them instead of just going through life being so frustrated and exhausted.

[Jenny Urgent]

What a vision to have. If you're feeling frazzled and tired and behind. What a vision that it can be different. So the 15 minute little time slots that often get wasted. You, you had a little list here of 15 minute time wasters, like hitting the snooze button, browsing the Internet, being nosy on Facebook and looking through everyone else's lives, spending too much time on any kind of social media, chatting on the phone about nothing with someone you talk to recently, watching television or shopping for another pair of black shoes when you already own a few pairs, you say, well, it may seem like it's insignificant. You really can get a lot done in these small bits of time. And that's the adjustment. Like, the adjustment is like, for me, I was like, just waiting for my life to get back to where I had had large swaths of time and then it never came. So, you know, you, you adjust and this book will really help you adjust and kind of to know what to expect. You also talk about having a homemaking binder. Okay, I had misread, though. I, I'd read the book and then when I went back to take notes, I was like, oh, I misread that. There was a part where you were talking about as a kid dusting the baseboards and then also cleaning the plants with cotton balls. And I, I just in my mind had like, mixed the two and I was like, gosh, they had to dust their baseboards with cotton balls. I've never heard of that. Then I was like, oh, no, I read that wrong.

[Crystal Paine]

Don't give my mom any ideas.

[Jenny Urgent]

And she'd be like, oh, we need to add that. That's the chore list.

[Crystal Paine]

I think she honestly was just trying to keep us busy. That's just like, because we didn't have a TV growing up and we lived out in the country. And I think she was just like, I got to keep them busy.

[Jenny Urgent]

So let's Just, you know, have them clean as many. As many cotton balls as possible. That's so great. Okay, so can you talk then about. I mean, this is a big part. So, you know, obviously finances are a big part. And, you know, the way we manage our time, our priorities, is a big part. And then house cleaning falls into that because it's like, well, you know, what do you do? And you have a lot of resources for this, like you talk about. And I. And I'm not sure what's still there. Obviously in 10 years, your website could have adjusted, but you do at least have the knowledge of sort of figuring out how to make this manageable and not so overwhelming.

[Crystal Paine]

We actually do. We have some free simplified home checklist, if anyone is interested, that kind of gives you, here's what to do every single day. Because I think sometimes it's just really nice to have a checklist that someone else made for you. So we.

[Jenny Urgent]

I think that works. That works for them.

[Crystal Paine]

It's going to work for you for that. And I think you, a lot of times just having these simple systems, like I talked about, you know, in the morning, what's something simple that you can do? Like, for me, it's like start a load of laundry, like, start the dishwasher. Like, just having these things that you do. If you have kids, they can help and do so much. And that's one thing I'm so grateful. My parents had us work really hard and they taught us this strong work ethic. And I'm so grateful because I see the gift in that and I see how much that has benefited my life too, to be, you know, expected that you are an asset in this home. You are a contributor to this home. And so, you know, we expect a lot of our kids, but also then they know that that allows us to be available to them. And I think that that's the thing, you know, when you say when we work hard together, then we get to do fun things together, like instead of mom just having to do all the work all the time. And so, you know, having simple systems and slowly building those up. And the nice thing is usually you don't have six kids all at once. And so you have a chance to slowly build them up and. And then just sticking with it. And also, I'm just going to be honest, sometimes you just got to lower your standards. Like, that's the thing. Like, you know, I. I feel like sometimes we set these impossible standards for ourselves. And I'm like, you know what? There's not a lot of Stuff that are, that is life or death. Death. And so I can't remember the last time I cleaned my baseboards. Like, mom just, we won't tell my mom. But you know, I don't think I've ever cleaned my plants. And so, you know, just to lower the standard of like, do we have food, do we have clean underwear and do we have dishes to eat off of? And sometimes it's okay if they're paper plates. Like, that's really okay. And so keeping meals simple, keeping things simple, inviting your kids to help and creating these systems. I talk about a lot of them in the book. Book that then it's makes it so much easier because you're not having to every day be like, what am I going to do? Well, you have a system like if you need help, we've got the simplified home checklist that it just tells you, like, here's what you do every day. And you just do the thing that it tells you to do, check it off and be done. And then you can know, okay, tomorrow we're going to do something else. And so over the course of, you know, the month, everything that is important is going to get taken care of and you don't have to stress about it or worry about it. It.

[Jenny Urgent]

You have taken that mental load. That's a huge mental load. But for that, for finances, you know, you've helped people figure out this sort of nitty gritty so that they can really enjoy the parts that they really want to enjoy. And you have a lot of resources on your website. I'll make sure, I'll put the links so people can find these different things that we're talking about. What about failure? I mean, you know, you talk in this book in particular about what to do when you want to give up. And I think motherhood is filled with failure because it's new and you just don't, you don't know what direction to go. You don't know what's going to work. The next kid's different than the, you know, than the first kid. And so there is just a lot of failure. And you have to come to grips with like, gosh, like that that was a pretty big mess up. So there's that and then there's also business. You know, like you talked about, you had a whole different blog. I mean, that's actually kind of wild. That's so much work. They're like, I'm going to have to set that one aside. So can you talk about. In this sort of season of immense change, lots of change how we deal with the mess ups.

[Crystal Paine]

Well, I think that you can reframe them because one of the things that I feel like so often parents feel like if you have failed at something, like, then you are a failure. We're all going to make mistakes. I mean, I can tell you so many different things that I tried, like when it comes to business that completely flopped. Completely flopped. And I feel like my success today is standing on a pile of failures. But I learned from each of those. And I really try to say, okay, anytime I fail at something, I try to be like, what can I learn from this? So then I'm reframing it into a learning opportunity instead of a failing thing. And so what can I learn from this so that I can do better next time and really try to encourage my kids with that as well. Like, one of our kids made a pretty big mistake recently and I said, okay, what are you going to learn from the this so that you're not going to do that again? And they sit off what they learned from it. And I said, okay, so yeah, you had to go back. You had to make this right. You had to apologize. But guess what? You're probably not ever going to do that again. And so sometimes that can be the greatest lessons for us for the future. And so when we fail as a parent to go back to our kids, you know, like, if I yell at my kids to go back, just the other day I yelled at one of my kids. I was really frustrated them, went back to them and just said, I'm really sorry. Sorry I yelled at you today. That is not the way that I want to be as a parent. And that was not a good example for you. I'm really sorry. Will you forgive me? And to just be honest and open with our kids when we fail and when we mess up and to instead of trying to pretend like, oh, hopefully they'll just forget, no, go back to them and apologize and take ownership of what you did wrong. I think that is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our kids. When I was 18 years old, I was learning how to drive. Drive. I drove our family's van for the first time. My mom, it was her first time to drive with me. And instead of putting the vehicle in reverse, I put it in drive. And instead of then recognizing that and hitting on the brake, I hit the accelerator and ran into our family's house, like, right into the middle of the garage. Bricks came off like pieces of bricks. My mom was screaming. It was very traumatic. Gratefully, no One was hurt. The van was okay. My dad had to kind of fix it up and fix the front of the house. But my dad was obviously very, very angry with me and, you know, for good reason. And he yelled at me that night. But the next day, now, I don't remember what he said to me that night, but I remember the next day he came back and he apologized to me. And that is one of those things, like we were talking about formative stuff. Like, that is one of those things in my childhood that will forever stick with me. Of, you know, my dad came back and apologized to me. He recognized that the way that he had treated me, even though, yeah, I ran into that house, kind of done a really dumb thing. But I already, like, I recognize that in the moment and. But for him to come back and apologize to me and ask forgiveness, it was such a beautifully redemptive thing. And I think of that a lot when I'm parenting, of recognizing that, you know, God can use my failure as a parent to do something that's going to impact my kids for the rest of their life if I'm willing to go back and own my mistakes. Mistakes and apologize for them and ask forgiveness.

[Jenny Urgent]

I love that story. What a story. Because you said just previously, right before you. You brought up that story, you were like, you know, you could act like maybe they're gonna forget, but they're not gonna forget. We remember things that are emotional. So if you're getting yelled at and it's a big moment, you just ran into the house with the car, you know, a van, A van. A van for nine kids. That's a big vehicle that, you know it's gonna leave a mark. And for your dad to come and apologize, you know, like, that's such a big deal for him. Talking about margin, you're like, oh, what were you planning on doing this evening? Fixing my home. You know, replacing the bricks that, you know, I mean, that's huge. That's huge. And so I love that reframe of failure to talk about that in this book. Let's wrap it up with the finances. There's a whole chapter for finances and kind of relate it to new this book that's coming out, the seven habits of Financially Healthy Women that you can hopefully pre order now, but if not now, it'll be coming soon for pre order, and then we'll be talking about it in the fall. Talk about being married to a spender.

[Crystal Paine]

Yes. So, you know, we usually attract someone who is the opposite of us, and I definitely attracted that with My husband. And it was so hard for me in the beginning because. Because I just didn't get it. Like, we were on this really tight budget. And I remember if. If I would get sick, he would go to Walgreens, and he would go, like, buy medicine and bring it home. And I would just be like, why are you buying medicine? We don't have money for medicine. And I get so frustrated with him. And it took me many years to recognize he was just trying to show me love. Like, he was trying to take care of me. And the way that he knew to do that was to spend money on me. Like, that's how he shows his love. And so it's been so good for me to, again, reframe how I view him and to recognize that I need to learn from him. And also, there's a lot he can learn from me, and we can both learn from each other, but to learn to appreciate our differences and to see the value in that and to learn to have conversations where we communicate and we compromise and we really talk about these things. And so for me to say to him, you know, know, when you go and spend money that I feel like we don't have, this is how it makes me feel. And I know that you're actually not trying to be reckless with the budget, but it makes me feel scared that we're not going to have enough money to pay for groceries. And so for him to then recognize, oh, like, I would never think of that, because I'm just thinking, oh, I want to serve my wife. And, you know, on the flip side, for him to be like. Like, when you don't want to spend money on things, like, it makes me feel stifled, and it makes me feel like, you know, you're just, like, really stingy. And how I want to sometimes do these things to bless you or bless others. And so we've just really gotten to this place where we have, for the most part, really balanced each other out. We've been married for 23 years, and it's a beautiful thing to see and to be able to laugh at our differences and instead of being frustrated by them and. And to make jokes about them, and then to see the gift that the other spouse brings to our life and how we are so much healthier and more whole together than we would be separately.

[Jenny Urgent]

I love that because you. You really, ideally, in your mind, you think, oh, I'd want us to both be the same. Like, if we both like to save, oh, wouldn't that be wonderful? We both like to spend. But you're like, in reality, if you're both spending, that might end up being a problem. And if you're both saving, that might end up being a problem too. Maybe you're missing out on some different things. So what can people expect from the new book that's coming in the fall?

[Crystal Paine]

I am so excited for people to get to hear the stories of me growing up. Like, I talked about and about my parents. Like, I feel like my parents have left such a legacy, and I am really excited to get to honor them in this book. But also, I am just really excited for a lot of. Of practical advice. And I tried to really share it in a way that no matter where you are financially, that you can glean a lot from it and feel really encouraged by it. I really want it to feel like it's this, like, I'm pepping you up. I'm your cheerleader and your guide that you can do this and you're not stuck. And there's so many possibilities. And I share a lot of stories of just, like, crazy things that we did that hopefully will inspire you that there is always a way, even if it feels like there's not a way. And, like, how we got free Internet for two and a half years and like, different things like that when I would go dumpster diving and, you know, just so many fun things that I'm like, you don't have to do that, but to think outside of the box. I think so often we're kind of programmed like, this is the only way. And so giving you lots of ideas and of, you know, let's think outside the box. What do you have in your hand? What can you do with what you have, where you are? Let's make a plan for that and let's be consistent and see where that leads. And you probably can't even dream where that could lead if you're willing to be consistent and stick with it.

[Jenny Urgent]

I love memoir, so I'm super excited to read it. Do you feel like there are not that many finance books that are geared for women?

[Crystal Paine]

I feel like that there are fewer books that are geared years for women and fewer that feel, like, really accessible. And that was the thing. Like, I wanted this to be really accessible. And I actually talk about it in the book how I was really scared to talk specifically about finances. I can talk about groceries and saving money and all that, but to talk more specifics on financially things that might feel a little bit nerdy, because I am actually, I'm really bad at math. Like, I really struggled with math growing up and. And some of my friends in my mastermind, they actually were like, crystal, this is not a math thing. This is a discipline thing. And, like, you have really understood prioritization and discipline, and that is really what it's about. It's not about numbers and math and being a nerd and spreadsheets and all of that. And so I share a lot of that in the book and then talk about, like, irresistible accountability and like, making things really fun and attainable instead of, you know, feeling like, well, if you hear me say something like discipline, you're like, well, I'm out. I don't want to be that. You know, but so making it so that it's. It's really fun and engaging and something that no matter where you are, no matter your education, no matter your finances, that I hope that it can really impact your life.

[Jenny Urgent]

Oh, I'm excited. What an incredible tool. Six book number six, Crystal Payne. What an honor to get a chance to talk with you. This one in particular. Even though 2014, say goodbye to survival mode, if you feel like you're in survival mode, this is going to be a great resource for you. And then there's already four others besides this one and the new one coming out in the fall, plus everything on your website. You're just helping people live, you know, create their personal priority priorities list and live how they want to live. Thank you so much for your time and I'm so excited for your new book.

[Crystal Paine]

Thank you so much for having me on. Jenny. Quick break. One useful thing to share. I thought TikTok was just damn chances. Turns out it's where I learned how to save money, fix stuff, and get real tips, short videos, real people. Download TikTok now.