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The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
1KHO 805: Homeschooling Is Something Lots of People are Doing | Annette Vaughn, Dear Homeschool Mom
00:57:50
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- [00:01]
A
Summer gets busy fast. One minute you're easing into warmer weather, and the next you're juggling sports schedules, swim days, camping trips, road trips, late nights around the fire, and trying to keep the house from completely falling apart in the middle of all of it. And if you're a cat family, too, there's still the everyday stuff waiting for you at home, including the litter box. That's why Whiskers Litter Robot is such a game changer. During busy seasons, it automatically cycles after every use, so you're not constantly scooping or dealing with litter cleanup every single day. It just handles the dirty work for you. And the Whisker app notifies you about your unit, like when a clean cycle is complete, when drawer levels are getting full, or if the unit needs attention. You can always track things like your cat's weight and bathroom usage over time, which makes it easy to stay aware of changes without having to constantly check in. Honestly, during a packed summer, having one last daily chore to think about makes a huge difference. Maintain your cat's litter while focusing on your growing family. Learn more about Whisker Litter robot models and starter kits today to get set up before the summer craziness arrives. Take an additional $50 off bundles with code 1000 when you shop whisker.com 1000hours that's an additional $50 off bundles with Code 1000hours@whisker.com 1000hours welcome to the 1000hours Outside podcast. My name is Jenny Erton, the founder of 1000 Hours Outside, and I have a wonderful guest today who has compiled the most incredibly encouraging book for homeschooling families and for families who are considering homeschooling. It is called Dear Homeschool mom and it is letters from people all over the United States who have written in to talk about all of these different topics. Letters of encouragement from from mom, for moms, from moms, the author Annette Vaughn, who has compiled it all and have these incredibly. You've written your own letter. But like all of these little intros and, and the. The tie from each letter to each letter, I was like, these are incredible. Tying it all together. Annette, welcome.
- [01:52]
B
Thank you so much, Denny. I am so glad to be here with you today and with your listeners and to talk about the book.
- [01:59]
A
It is a wonderful book. I mean, you go through the format of the book is all these letters that are two homeschool moms or prospective homeschool moms from homeschool moms. And they are these personal letters. You know, personal letters. Are you right? They're such a rare treat. And then you have all these transitions between the chapters and, you know, you're talking about everything from. I, you know, I'm just exploring the idea, I'm just starting out. How do I find my people? How do I find balance? There's 13 chapters here of all of these different topics. And a really cool part of this is that you are donating all the these proceeds to help homeschool moms who might be in financial situations. Sometimes stuff happens last minute, people lose a job or a spouse passes away. Where did the idea start, Annette, that you're like, you know what I am? First of all, you're like, I'm gonna figure out every question a homeschool mom might have. I was like, how did she even know that these were all the questions? You know, you cover everything. And then I'm gonna find people to answer these questions in these letter form, and then I'm gonna use this as a vehicle to help homeschool families. Where was the spark for that?
- [03:00]
B
Oh, such a, such a great question, Jenny. Well, first of all, I consider myself what we would call a baby in homeschool mom years. So I have a. I have three boys homeschooling, three boys, a 15 year old, 13 year old, 12 year old. I never thought I would be a homeschool mom. And I'm still in the thick of it, obviously never thought I would be a homeschool mom. And my oldest son, we started homeschooling him when he was in second grade. So he went to a private school for kindergarten, first grade, decided to do one of those give it a try for a year things when he was starting second grade. My middle son was in kindergarten that year, and goodness, I was scared to death to start to homeschool. I didn't know anything about it. We just wanted to give it a try for a year and see if this would maybe be a better fit for our family. I had all these notions and these assumptions and myths of what I thought homeschooling would be, and I would not have made it or probably even started had it not been for the support and encouragement of what I refer to as regular, ordinary homeschool moms in my life that came alongside of me. And I talk about this a lot in the introduction of the book, how it's really those moms just. And some of them were just even acquaintances at the time, moms I didn't even know quite well, but who were willing to say, oh, you want to homeschool? Let me take you for coffee. Let me have you over to our house and you can just observe what this wild and crazy adventure looks like at our house. And really, gate helped give me the courage to realize that my husband and I, this is something that we could do. This is something that people are doing, and this is something that we have built in support for if we're just willing to give it a try, get out of our comfort zones a little bit. And so for me, that's where my story starts. For this book even is just my own personal journey of never thinking my name and homeschool mom would ever be used together in a sentence. And now my name in homeschool mom is on the COVID of books. Look together. That's how wild, wild and crazy this journey has been. But as I got into the first few years of homeschooling, I remember thinking, gosh, I'm only in this a couple years, but you know what? There's some newbies coming behind me, and I have a little something that I can offer to them and encouraging them in their journey. And so all these thoughts came into my mind of goodness. There's so many, again, regular, ordinary homeschool moms all over the United States that are doing this very thing all the time. The moms that supported me, they are reaching out to new moms. They're helping them, they're pointing them to resources. They're sharing with them what has worked, what hasn't worked for them. They're giving moms encouragement in the way of, yeah, it's normal to feel a little overwhelmed or this is normal, or that is normal. All those things that we just want to hear as homeschool moms. And although I love so many of the books that are out there, goodness, many of yours included, for homeschool moms and potential homeschool moms, I thought, wouldn't it be great to have a platform, some way to really highlight regular moms? And I say that in the most extraordinary way. There's really no such thing as a regular, ordinary homeschool mom. Anyone who embarks on the journey of homeschooling is quite extraordinary, actually. But I wanted to have a format, a platform for moms to be able to speak into the lives of other moms. And for a couple of different purposes, I wanted moms to read this book and realize, goodness, I don't know any of the names in this book, but what a wealth of wisdom there is. I also wanted moms to read this book and see, you know, we use first name and and state Listed for all the over 50 moms who were part of it. I wanted them to flip through this book and see state after state, region after region of the United States, and be encouraged that there are real homeschool moms that want to encourage and help you everywhere if you'll just seek out and look for them. Right. And not only that, but those of us who have been homeschooling, even if it's just been a little while, you have something to offer the moms around you in your life. The moms in this book, they're not just moms that have all the answers and have figured everything out. You will not find letters in here that say, here is the exact formula for a perfect homeschool. No. You're going to be able to peek through the window, see what life is like for each of these moms and learn from the best way to learn of all time stories, their stories and their own journeys and what has worked well and what has not. Some of the moms in the book have been only homeschooling a year or two, and I love that they were willing to step up to the plate and offer what they had. Some moms are kind of middle of the road like I am, you know, still in those, you know, teen preteen years. And then we also have moms in this book that have completed their homeschool journeys and they've graduated three or four kids. And so all this together comes into one beautiful package of being able to offer moms a gift that is separate from a flashy social media post or some sort of, you know, quick way that we get information. It's meant to be. Sit down, grab a cup of tea, grab a cup of coffee and soak in the words of a letter just like you would from a precious treasure of a letter from a friend. And so that's kind of the story behind the book. The idea of where did all those moms come from and how did this work? That. That's a whole other piece as well.
- [09:25]
A
Wow. Okay, we're going to talk about that, but I want to touch on a couple of things that you said. One of the things you said was this is something that people are doing, which I love. You know, you're like, okay, you. You realize I can do this. Also, other people are doing it, and that there really is support. Like yesterday I was at the park with my youngest. And so, you know, we're in these transition years similar to you. Like, I've got one that's about to graduate, you know, we've got 16, 15, 13, we got a bunch of teenagers and then a younger, a nine year old. And so I was at the park with a nine year old and, and a friend and, and her oldest is nine. So you know, it's like this is really how the information passes. It just passes person to person. And she was saying to me, you know, I, I'm conflicted because I know sleep is important, but I also have, you know, this curriculum I want to get through. Does it matter if I wake my kid up or not? Like, should I, Can I let them sleep? Basically was the question, is it okay to let them sleep? And so we just had, you know, some different conversation. It's like, it's such a simple question, but I think there is a fear that like, okay, if I don't put my kid on this 8 to 5 schedule or 8 to 4 schedule, you know, they're never going to be able to enter the workforce or, and I'm like, well, I've got a 17 year old who gets up every day and wants to go to the gym because he cares how he looks and I don't have to wake him up. And so from my perspective, I would say I, I don't think you have to. Also, I would say if you want to because you like your home to be a little more orderly like that, I also would think that's fine. I think God gave us these children in our personalities and like, you know, we can structure our lives how we want and know that there's pros and cons to all of it. So it really is just like this person to person. I got this little question, do you think it matters? Do I have to get my kid up at 8 every day? What if they slept till 8:45? Does that matter? You know, you, because you don't know, you can't see the long term. And so what a cool premise, Annette, to get to grab all of these letters. The other thing you said I thought was really cool was about the year or two, you know, and like you're in a spot where there's no final product. So am I, like I'm, I'm putting out these books. I'm like, I don't really know if it's going to turn out for us, but, but yeah, I don't think that matters. I think it matters that, you know what, it's been a great 16 years up into this point. You know, these are all the things we've done and this is the strength of our relationship. And these are the experiences this kid has had. But as far as the year or two, like, if you've only. Let's say you've been homeschooling, I'm gonna put only in quotes. But, like, for a year, I think the gap from nothing to something is so huge. Right? Like, if you've homeschooled for a year, you went from knowing zero things to knowing so much. You know, it's like if you don't know how to play chess and then you learn how to play chess, it's like, well, yes, you're not a master, but you went from a zero to, like, a lot. Right. You learned a whole new game. So I love that. I love that you're grabbing from all different stages of life on this book. So. What a wonderful resource. It's called Dear Homeschool Mom. Can you talk about donating to HSLDA's compassion grant? And how they. They're looking for families that are having, you know, that might be in different hardships financially, and so this is helping them with their homeschool. You've already sent in your first check.
- [12:29]
B
Yeah. So HSLDA and I always say, hey, for any new or potential homeschool mamas out there that they think, oh, my gosh, another acronym. What is that? Now, if you've been in the homeschool world for any amount of time, you know, that's Homeschool Legal Defense Association. And I don't really know the proper way to describe them, but they are the, well, amazing, overarching Homeschool Freedom Champions for Homeschooling Organization. Is that how you would describe them?
- [12:57]
A
Well, what. I. Isn't that interesting? It's like everyone has their different, I guess, opinions. And what's so funny is, like, we're both going to give our opinions on what we would think that they are. And like, I. I wonder what they would say that they are. Well, so we. You can become a member of the Homeschool legal defense association, hslda.org there, they have tremendous resources. So you can go to their website and they're going to say, this is how you legally homeschool in Michigan. That's where we are. You know, there's two different ways to do it. This, you know, and it's gonna. There's gonna be a video and there's a ma. It's really well done. There's a lot of resources to help you. Do you have to send in a letter to your. You know, every state is different. Right. So it's a plethora of resources. But additionally, it is a legal defense association. So if you are a member, then what they do is if any, if cps, well, that's what it's called in Michigan Child Protective Services. I know it's called different things, different places. But like, let's say someone turned you in. I think this was more common like in the 80s and 90s, but like for truancy or something like that, you would call the HSLDA first and then they would defend you. So they are defending individuals and families, but also defending homeschool freedoms across the country as well. So like if a bill comes up that's like, you know, you're going to have to do all these things to jump through all these hoops in order to homeschool your children. You know, they're stepping in, in those spots too because the, you know, there's a lot of research about like people are like, well, these people are abusing their kids. And it's, it's just not, it's not true that, that it, I mean it does happen, but it happens in any type of, you know, public school, private school, there's all, there's also always families that are not treating their children properly. So I don't, I don't, I don't know about how I'd even put it. But then they're also supporting these homeschool families too with this Compassion Grant.
- [14:47]
B
Yes. Yeah. So in addition to all the amazing things that they do with homeschool freedom and support and resources, I mean, just go to their website and you can see all that. They do have a Compassion grant arm and so donations come in and we're donating a hundred percent of all proceeds that this book ever brings. And I hope it's something that resonates for years and years with homeschool moms. But we're donating it to their Compassion Grant. And they have a very specific and good process for allowing families to apply for grants generally that helps support and offset some of the costs of curriculum or other needs during significant or perhaps even unexpected financial hardship or natural disasters. And you can see the stories, the real life stories on their website as well of some of the grant recipients through the years. This has been something in place for years and is actually kind of heartbreaking because the stories are, they will just tug at your heartstrings. But also just to know that not only moms who read this book are going to just find a wealth of encouragement, but by, you know, purchasing it, you know, that can. Encouragement just goes forward as well to homeschool Families that are homeschooling despite or even in the midst of significant financial hardship. And I just love that all of the 50 plus moms who were a part of writing a letter and contributing to this book, they were equally so excited about that as well. None of us wanted this to be something for our own gain or anything like that. We just, we just want to be an encouragement to homeschool moms and in many, as, in many ways as possible. And so that's just yet one of the angles that we're doing that.
- [16:46]
A
Ah, I love it, Annette. What a cool thing. What a cool idea. Okay, so let's kick it off. We're gonna talk about a couple of the different topics. And then like I said, I think there's 13 chapters. So there's a lot of different topics. And then within each chapter there are a lot of. There's 15 chapters. I said that wrong. There's 15 chapters. The last one is navigating unique situations filled with all of these different letters. And within each chapter there's three to seven letters or, you know, there's a lot. So it might be like, here's a letter to the introvert mom who has extroverted kids. Here's a letter to the mom who's homeschooling through a major life transition. Here's a letter to the mom who wants to quit. Here's a mom. A letter to the mom who is second guessing herself. A letter to the mom whose children have interrupted her life, who wonders if her sacrifices are worth it. A letter to the mom who's homeschooling an only child homeschooling as a military family. If you're a grandparent who's helping out with homeschooling, you know, to a mom who's homeschooling will also. They're also fostering children. There's just so many different situations that you're covering. So we'll talk about a couple of them. Then people can pick up the book. Pick it up for your friends as well, you know. But I, I think a great place to start is just the first chapter of the book, which is like when people are kind of first exposed to the idea. So, okay, you know, all of a sudden it pops in your mind, huh, maybe I should do that. You know, kind of. What do you do? So this is a mom who's thinking about homeschooling, a mom who doubts her qualifications. You know, Christina from Nevada, write about that. A mom who can't even imagine herself as a homeschooling mom. Under any circumstances, who has a lot of, you know, concerns about if they're going to be weird, if they're going to be behind their peers academically, if mom who's intimidated. So can you talk to the mom? Talk to the mom who's in that situation, who's like, okay, this idea is in my mind, it's in my heart. I'm curious. But, wow. I never considered it. I never thought about it, and now I don't really know what to do.
- [18:46]
B
Yeah, no, that's. That's great. And I was thinking the other day, too, I don't have a statistic for this. I wish I did. But the interesting thing when it comes to considering homeschooling is I would say the vast majority of us that are homeschooling right now are what I call first generation homeschoolers. We're doing something and doing it in a way that's completely opposite of how we were educated. Now there are homeschoolers that have been homeschooled and, you know, they're navigating their own challenges, right. Of like, how things have changed in 20 years since they've been. Since they were homeschooled. But I just say that as a comfort to moms who are considering it, that maybe, you know, they went to a private school, maybe they were public school all the way through. Like, I was. That's how I was. And they're imagining this idea that's completely contrary to any experience they had personally or to the majority of experiences that, you know, you see going on. Do you think if you take a look at all your friends or everyone in your circle, most of the time homeschooling is probably going to be more in the minority. So it's no wonder why there's a lot of questions or there's a lot of myths or there's a lot of hesitation and worries because oftentimes this is a very new territory that moms are embarking. But in one of the letters that I wrote on there, I said, you can't make a decision without information. And I. I love that mantra because when you're considering something as big as homeschooling, and it is big, it is a huge decision. Because you know what? It's not just like, we're going to sit down from nine to three and do our math and our science and everything like that. Most moms who've been homeschooling any amount of time will tell you it's really a complete lifestyle. It's unlearning. So many things that we thought we knew about how school and education is supposed to work and realizing that learning and education and everything that we're doing to disciple and grow our children. That's all of life, you know. The homeschooling is just a small part of it.
- [21:03]
A
I think for a long time I underestimated how much your outdoor space impacts your day to day life because ours just wasn't working. It felt unfinished. We had a couple mismatched chairs, no real place to sit comfortably, and I've always had this idea that I'd add lighting or make it feel cozy, but never actually got around to it. Then we started looking on Wayfair and it made the whole process feel doable. We found pieces that actually fit our style. Simple, functional, a little bit modern, but still warm. And suddenly the space came together. We added seating, a few subtle decor touches, and now it's a place we naturally end up at the end of the day. The best part is how easy Wayfair makes it to get there. You can narrow everything down so quickly, compare options, read thousands of reviews and feel confident in what you're choosing. And delivery was seamless, which matters when you're trying to upgrade a space without adding more stress. It finally feels like a space we use instead of a void. Get prepped for patio season for way less head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y-F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every Home this time of year in homeschooling is really special. You're wrapping up projects, looking at how far your kids have come and helping them finish strong. It's also a great moment to reinforce key skills and build confidence as you head into summer and as routines start to shift with travel camps and more time outside, it helps to have something that keeps learning steady without overcomplicating your days. That's where IXL can be such a helpful tool. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling. It offers interactive practice across math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade. It personalizes learning for each child, keeps them engaged, and gives parents clear insight into progress. What stands out is the real time feedback and progress tracking. Kids get immediate explanations as they go and you can clearly see growth over time, what's clicking and where. A little reinforcement can go a long way. It's a simple way to finish the year strong and keep the skills fresh heading into the summer. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and 1000 Hours Outside listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com 1000hours Visit ixl.com 1000hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Your outdoor space should feel like you. And for the longest time, ours just didn't. We had those random plastic chairs that somehow followed us from house to house, a patio and that felt more like a pass through than a place to gather. And a grill that we kept saying we'd replace someday. It just wasn't a space we were excited to use. And then I found Wayfair and everything kind of clicked. We added simple, comfortable seating, an outdoor rug that grounded the space, and a few pieces that actually matched the look I had in my head. Now it feels like an extension of our home. We eat outside more, the kids linger longer, and it's just easier to be out there. What I love is how simple Wayfair makes the process. You can filter by size, style, budget, read real reviews from real homes. And with Wayfair verified, you know you're choosing from items that have already been vetted for quality. And having everything in one place from seating to lighting to decor made it feel manageable instead of overwhelming. Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.
- [24:09]
B
But I guarantee you, if you're a mom who's thinking, even just the smallest thought of what homeschooling is all about, find some homeschool moms in your world. Even if you go on and find some, you know, Facebook group in your community and you say, hey, I'm new, I just want to ask some questions. Hands are going to raise all over to say, sweet mama, I will take you to coffee. I will meet you at the park. Let's just talk. And the great news about seeking information is no one's making a sign of paper that says if I have this conversation or even remotely ask questions about homeschooling, I am guaranteed and must do it for a year or for life or however long. No, it's just gathering information because how I was at the beginning, I again believed so many of those myths like that, well, homeschool moms and kids, I think, I think they, they're kind of weird sometimes. Well, you know what? Goodness, aren't we all a little Weird. Sometimes weirdness is everywhere, and what is it really? So there's that or, you know, thinking, well, I'm not a teacher. How would I even know what to teach? And not realizing, again, all these amazing resources that are out there, you know, then the. The. You know, the big bomb of socialization and how will my kid. Okay, well, that was alleviated in about five minutes for me once I realized how many homeschoolers there are when you start searching. So I would just encourage moms. You just be honest with yourself. Write down all the things that you think homeschooling is and what that could look like for you, and then have some chats with homeschool moms. Ask them, what's your experience with this or that? What's your experience with subjects that you don't feel comfortable teaching? What's your experience with? You know, this feeling of, like, what if I'm overwhelmed being with my kids all the time? Or all these things that, you know what? As mamas, we can just be real with one another, because all of us, when we started, we had so many of those challenges or concerns. And you know what? Every year that I continue to homeschool school, yeah, there's things I learn and maybe I get better at, but there's even more questions that come up, which is why I think it's so fantastic for moms to support one another throughout the journey and, you know, as each new stage comes up. But, you know, I. I just cannot encourage moms enough to at least gather some information, talk to a few people, maybe even people that have different homeschooling styles, and just listen, take it in. Don't feel pressured or anything like that. Just take it in and see if that doesn't change your perception of what homeschooling could look like for you just a little bit.
- [27:12]
A
And I think, like, for me, I remember I've talked about this before, but, like, I remember when we first started homeschooling, people were like, well, what kind of homeschooler are you? And I was like, huh? I don't even know that there's options. What are the options? Like, you know, could you give me multiple choice, like a, B, C? I'm like, I don't know. You know? So when you talk about different homeschooling, schooling styles for people that grew up in a linear system where it's like you go from second grade to third grade to fifth grade, you know, and sixth grade, you get a locker, you know, and it's just kind of like the same thing. You know, you. You don't even. I didn't realize. I didn't realize that anybody did it in different ways at all. And so there's, you know, there is a lot to learn, and I. And I love. But it's not overwhelming. I mean, I guess it is overwhelming. It's kind of overwhelming. But. But the point is, is like, life is about growth. And someone had written, like, one of the letters in this section. Her name's Melissa from Georgia. She said, the homeschooling mom I am today is not the same homeschooling mom I was five years ago. And I think in some ways that's confusing because, you know, the traditional K12 schooling system is so linear. You know, fifth grade is very similar to first grade, except that you're just learning harder things. But this is. This is a growth, and isn't that what life is supposed to be about? So I love. I love this idea of just gathering information. Obviously, the book is going to help you to do that. Like, if you feel like this kind of awkward, you know, I don't have the capacity to talk to 50 different people. Well, then you can pick up the book and just get the 50 different letters. But you said your letter is the first one, and you said, why would anyone choose to do that? You know, that's.
- [28:47]
B
Yes.
- [28:48]
A
My friend Heidi St John, she says the same thing. She's like, there is a bus, a vehicle. It, you know, depending on where you live, it comes right to your door, you know, or it's in the neighborhood, and you can send your kids away on that big yellow bus. And like, I'll see in eight hours. I'm gonna go work. I'm gonna work out. I'm gonna go to lunch with my friends, like, you know, whatever. I'm gonna clean the house. I'm going to do all these things that need to be done, and it's free. And you said, why would anyone choose to do that? You said, I wasn't against it. You say, I was just perplexed and curious. Why would anybody want to do that? And I think that's such a great question to start with, Annette. Like, why my. Why was time. The bus came really early and it came back really late. It was 8 to 4:30. I'm like, that's a really long day for someone who's 5 years old, you know, And I feel like I'm not going to have as much influence if that's most of the day. Most. It's really most of the week, truly. Right. If there's just Saturday and Sunday left. But some people will say, I, you know, I homeschool so my kid is in under fluorescent lights all day. I homeschool because of, you know, you know, those are like weird reasons, you know, because of the wireless Internet and I don't want them to be exposed. I homeschool so I mean, because I want to be with them, you know, I, so I love the idea. Just, just ask the question. Why, why are you doing that? Why did you choose to do that? What was your why?
- [30:12]
B
Yeah, so for me, when, and, and I think something to say too is sometimes your why changes a little bit over time. You get into it for one reason and then you kind of discover something else.
- [30:24]
A
Like it grows. I, I would say that my, my why initially is still this. I still have it.
- [30:30]
B
I like that reason.
- [30:31]
A
I still have the same why. Like the school day is have 600 more wise. You know, I'm like, the recess is only 20 minutes. That's, I don't think that's enough, you know, for a four year old that's in pre K and they're there all day. They have one 20 minute recess plus one lunch. Like, you know, I mean, now I could list a lot of reasons, sibling relationships. I mean there's so many different things. Freedom. But you said it's second grade and you're. Then you had a kindergartner and then another younger child. What was your why?
- [31:01]
B
So, yeah, so my, my oldest, we started when he was in second grade and he had gone to a private Christian school for kindergarten and first grade. And we had, we appreciated, you know, the start that, that gave him to his education and he had wonderful teachers and so, you know, all positive there. But you know, he's an energetic boy and it was not uncommon for, I mean, he was just done at the end of the day when I would pick him up, there was no energy left, nothing. And you know, little cranky and all of that. And the rat race of getting to him to school and back and all of that, it was becoming a lot. Our next, our next son was going to be in kindergarten that year and really had, I really felt like he needed a little bit more specialized attention with what some of his learning needs were going to be. And I thought, gosh, he's not gonna, that's not gonna work at this point school. And am I going to have kids at two different schools? And all this floated through my mind until my husband and I were kind of like, well, what if we did homeschool just for A year, just, you know, because we're gonna have two in school now, and that's kind of expensive. And. And so a lot of prayer, a lot of talking with others and thought, oh, my gosh, I mean, can I really mess up second grade and kindergarten? Surely I can figure that out. And so that was, you know, that was the point that we decided. It was really based on what I thought the needs of our kids were at that time. My oldest or, you know, the needs of just, I mean, it was just a long day and, you know, the next one coming up of just, you know, wanting him to be able to go at a pace that was appropriate for him and be really supported, encouraged in that. And so we did that for a year. And although I'll say looking back on our first year, it was fine. But goodness, I had a lot to learn because here's what I did. I set up our perfect little classroom, which you can do if you want to do that. Some people have homeschool rooms, and it is great. That works for them. That's two of the letters in the book. The mom with a dedicated homeschool room and space, and the mom without a dedicated homeschool room and space. So not one is better than the other. But for me, I felt like I had to do that when I first started and I had, you know, oh, let's go to Ikea and get the cute desks. And I had bulletin boards. And I kid you not, I even had in my mind I was going to change out our bulletin board each month to match the theme and the season, like a real classroom would be. And, you know, would you like to guess how many times that bulletin board got changed in a year? It still had the fall acorns on it by the time he's 15 and
- [33:49]
A
we still have the same bulletin board up.
- [33:53]
B
Well, interestingly, we gotta, you know, the. The dedicated room went by the wayside after a year or two when I realized this is just a whole lifestyle. We just. Everybody wants to be around the kitchen table. That's. That's what works for us. But, yeah, so that was. That was our why starting out. And then I love how you say your why, you know, really, maybe not necessarily it's changed, but has grown through the years, and mine certainly sure has. And I think a lot of that as a result is just realizing all the benefits of homeschooling. The more and more you do it, for me, has become this time aspect, especially as my oldest is in high school and just realizing, you know, I'm on the countdown now to where, you know, when he's leaving the nest versus the count up. And I treasure that. I try to remind myself of that gift on days that are, you know, maybe a little harder than others, that why. And, you know, there's a sweet mama in the book that wrote, you know, to the. To the homeschool mom trying to. To find her why, I think I'm wording that correctly. And you know what? She's one of our mamas that's only been homeschooling a couple of years. And I love how she can inspire those of us that are even further along in the journey. Like, maybe you've never even, like, thought about what your why was. Maybe you just got into homeschooling and it was necessity or this is just the only thing that's going to work. And maybe it's been forever or a year or two when you. Since you've really sat down and thought, why am I doing this? Because she said something so powerful in her letter. She said she knew without a strong why, she would just be tempted to give up on the hard days. And I think that's what our why does for us. It gives us purpose and motivation and helps us realize we have something to go back to when we're clouded by all the what doesn't seem to be going right and, you know, what we're exhausted by and all these things we remember, why are we doing this? And does that make everything magically easier? No, but it gives us that resolve to know why it's worth it.
- [36:07]
A
Yeah. To persevere, for sure. To persevere through. There are hard days, sick, you know, kids are sick, you're sick. You know, you didn't finish your curriculum. People are crying, you know, all of those types of things. You named a lot of whys. Annette, you said, okay, cost. That was one. The rat race, the sort of rush of trying to get to school on time, homework after, you know, all of that, like, you know, this is a whole rushed part of childhood. Throwing a couple younger kids, you know, you're trying to get them up and out the door. You brought up that the day was long and he came home crabby. And so, you know, some times people say the school gets, like, the best of them. Like the best of their. Their childhood hours. You know, the ones where they're most refreshed and then they come home and they're just drained in. Of course. Course they are. It's like, it's a lot of stress, and then someone will be like, well, in the fluorescent lights, you know, you. And then you talked about, you know, just having a lot of energy as kids do. So that was a lot of whys. And, and it's a great question to ask people because then you're going to, you know, add to your own list as you go along and you know that your list will grow. So there's a whole section on that. Lately I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day and being drawn into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable and still put together. It makes getting dressed and so much simpler. And honestly, Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are flattering, and everything just works without overthinking it. Quince makes it really easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look. They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and ultra soft denim. So everything feels high quality right from the start. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at just $30. And they're breathable, easy to wear, and perfect for repeating throughout the week without getting tired of them. And I have to say, the everyday fleece joggers have been such a win for me, especially on those cooler spring mornings. They're soft, they fit really well, and they still look put together enough to wear out of the house, which I love. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship, not brand markup. Refresh your everyday with luxury. You'll actually use headquints.com outside for free shipping on your order. And 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-.com outside for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com outside can I just say, there was a time when I felt like the family calendar was living in six different places. 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And if you're not completely thrilled, Skylight offers a full refund within three months, no questions asked. Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendar. When you go to myskylight.com 1000 hours that's M Y S K-Y-L-I G H T.com 1000 hours for $30 off lately I've been trying to simplify my closet, just choosing pieces that are comfortable, easy to wear and still look put together without a lot of effort. That's really why I keep coming back to Quince. The quality is there, the fit is right and everything just makes sense. Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look. They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton and ultra soft denim, so you're getting that elevated feel without overpaying. Their lightweight linen pants, dress up and tops start at $30 and they're the kind of pieces you can wear again and again because they're breathable, versatile and just work. One thing I've been wearing a ton lately is the everyday fleece joggers. They're perfect for those cool spring mornings. Really soft, super comfortable, but still structured enough that I don't feel like I'm just in loungewear all day. And that's the thing with quints. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they go straight to ethical factories and skip the middlemen. So you're getting great quality without paying for the label. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com outside for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q U-I-N-E.com outside for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com outside we're obviously there's 50 plus letters in here, so we're only going to be talking about a couple of them. We'll scratch the surface and people can pick up the book. It's called Dear Homeschool Mom. Okay, let's talk about this one to the mom who is trying to make peace with sacrifices. I thought that this was actually in like an incredible, like, almost like a philosophical approach. So this letter. Well, okay, this is a chapter. So the chapter is making peace with Sacrifices. So this is actually your wording, because each of the chapters you open with a little introduction. So this one isn't. This is still from you. Sticking with you in that, because you open the chapter so beautifully, and then there's a little connection between each letter. So this is a chapter about making peace with sacrifices. So obviously this is a consideration. We're often sacrificing an income, but sometimes that opens up doors to be creative in other ways, you know, so you just don't really know that's what's happened in our situation. But you say, I have yet to make meet a mom who has not had to sacrifice anything to homeschool. You're gonna sacrifice, okay, but here's what you say. You don't avoid making sacrifices if you choose not to homeschool. The sacrifices are just different. You are sacrificing over a thousand hours each year with your children. You're sacrificing freedom. You don't get to choose what teacher. I know people talk about that a lot like, oh, I hope they get so and so. You don't get to pick. You might have a little bit of sway, depending how much power you have in your community. You know, how you may be on the school board or something. You can. Or you have relationships, you can kind of like nudge your kid, but you really don't have freedom. You. You don't have freedom. Often, even with the homework, you're sacrificing flexibility. So can we talk about this sacrifices piece? I thought this was such a wise and deep way to look at it. There's sacrifices both ways.
- [42:39]
B
Yes. Oh, there is indeed. And I think when moms think about what they would have to give up, would have to give up in order to homeschool, that's an easy list to make, because I think everybody can think of that. Or even current homeschooling moms. What are you continuing to sacrifice in order to homeschool? And it's a valid question. It's a realistic question. But we're asking the wrong question, too. If we don't. If we ask just that question and don't also ask ourselves, what would I gain? What would our children gain? What would our family gain by homeschooling? Then we're missing the other part of the equation that is. That's so significant. And the things that maybe are sacrificial know it's looking at those in A different light. You know, our children are such a blessing and a gift from the Lord. And treasuring that time, treasuring the incredible opportunity to raise them, it feels priceless. But then at the same time, there is that logistical side of things. Like, well, you know, maybe someone works full time and has been extremely successful in their career and is considering, like, do I give that up? There's a mom in there that talks about that. And this is, you know, this is a mom that's like, top of the top executive, high level. And she tells her story of what that was like for her family and the choices that she made in order to do that, because that was a priority for them. But then, surprisingly, how that changed and evolved through the years to where she was still able to use some of her skills, still in. In the work, in the marketplace, just in a different way. But I love how she also said in the book, I wish I could turn to it right now, how she said, some of those professional skills that you may have from whatever career path that you've been on all this time, they haven't been wasted. They haven't vanished. They've been transformed, and they're incredible.
- [45:02]
A
You said it almost verbatim.
- [45:04]
B
Yeah.
- [45:04]
A
Your professional skills have not vanished. They have transformed.
- [45:08]
B
Yeah.
- [45:09]
A
It's like you almost memorized it. That was incredible, Annette.
- [45:12]
B
It's such a great way to think about it, too, because I do hear mom say, I went to college and I did all this and I started it, and it was a waste. It wasn't a waste. You know, the Lord can use that in spirit so many ways. Maybe in a different way that's more flexible for you, or maybe just in what you. What value you can add to your children in their education experience. So there's. There's that piece. There's another mom in there that was. Was literally worked for NASA and is just one of the smartest people I've come across. And she shares her story of, you know, all. All things homeschool and just. Even motherhood in general, that came with that. And then I'm. I'm looking at. I'm looking at the. The third one, too. Yeah. Just if all the sacrifices are worth it. If you want to survey moms who have completed their homeschool journey, every single one of them will have had sacrifices and many, multiple sacrifices. But I would venture to say, and I wish I had a stat on this, too, I would venture to say that the vast majority of them would wholeheartedly agree that their sacrifices were worth it. So when you're pondering that in your head, is it worth the sacrifice to continue? Is it worth the sacrifice to start? The data out there is in moms that have done it and will tell you, yes, it was. Yes, it was. So many times.
- [46:41]
A
There's something I've been learning about over the past couple of years, and there's an author, Rory Groves, who wrote a book called the Family Economy. That's really a good book. He wrote a book called Durable Trades as well. And it was kind of eye opening to me, especially at the sort of end, teenage years here where, like, you know, sometimes when we look at our work. So I was like a public school teacher, right? And so, like, my work that I was paid for was poured into the community and poured into kids and families, and I enjoyed it, and I love those kids and families. But I'm also like, okay, if as my kids get older, not when they're really little, but, you know, and you can start to dabble.
- [47:15]
B
You.
- [47:15]
A
You just wrote a book, right? You had a book that came out. Your kids are teens, you know, at this point. And so, you know, you do get to a point where you can start to dabble into your callings. Like, I would say a podcast is still, in a lot of ways, teaching, right? So, you know, you. You dabble back into these callings that you have. And what I have seen is by doing it through being a mother, it has opened doors for my kids, my own kids. And so, you know, it's not everybody's story, but it is an interesting one, how you're taking those same skill sets that you have, like, who doesn't want a NASA mother in their homeschool group, you know?
- [47:50]
B
Right, right, right.
- [47:52]
A
I'm like, oh, you know that, you know, or. Or someone who's just been an incredible person in the business field. Like, you're taking that. Those skill sets that you learn, the relationships that you have, and instead of them kind of mainly going outward in exchange for a paycheck, now they're coming inward into your family and into your extended community. And God blesses it, God uses it. And that's another thing that, you know, these moms are saying. Michelle from Montana, she wrote the letter to the mom who's homeschooling on a tight budget. So this is maybe one of the sacrifices that you're gonna make. It might not be forever either, you know, and things change. Like, I met a mom, you know, she loved horses. And so, you know, when her kids got to be a certain age and they you know, they weren't quite so little. They're sleeping in, right? Maybe they're 11 and up. They're sleeping in. She, like, I, you know, I go work at the horses doll in the morning, I get up. I love it. Makes me a little bit extra money, like it. It might not be a forever thing. It might be. It might be. It also just might be a season thing. When you got kids small and. And there's no really other way to make more money. But Michelle says, I cannot encourage you enough that God will provide. And that's really. In every circumstance. He's going to provide for your identity issues. He's going to provide for, you know, he knows. Knows. He knows that you're giving up something big.
- [49:11]
B
Absolutely. And that's so true. And, you know, most of the time when we come to lean on the Lord, the most is when things aren't coming super easy for us or when there's a struggle or, you know, when we're able to just have all the. All the cards fall in line on our own easily. It's easier for us to maybe start to think like, we. We got this, we're doing it all on our own. But when there's that struggle there, that's when we're reminded, like, we need the Lord. We always do. We always do. It just. It brings it more to light that way as well. And I love what you said about the way that, you know, the different skills and things like that can enter into a mom's career or making extra money or whatever that is kind of like it has for you. So before I started homeschooling, I worked 15 years in human resources. That was my background. I had a business degree and human resources certifications and all these things. And I felt a little bit of my identity in that. When I stepped away from that to become a homeschool mom, we were able to make that work financially because of some sacrifices. But I felt a little bit even of that, of, like, am I just a homeschool mom now? Is that what I am? And I felt the need when people would say, like, oh, what? What's your job? What do you do? And instead of just proudly and appreciatively saying, I'm a homeschool mom, that is what I'm doing in this season. I would want to say that. But, oh, yeah. And I used to be xyz. And there's that identity. Identity creeping in. But the neat thing about how God has used my past, I guess, trainings and abilities and experiences is now I love using those past, you know, training and development, communication, being in front of people's skills to do things like this, to write the book. And then this past year I've been going to human resource, or I started to say human resources conferences, to homeschool conferences and just being able to lead workshops and speak to moms. And that mesh of my passion for homeschooling and my background in that area, you know, some people think they'd rather die than stand up in front of a group of people. Well, I like it. Meshing those two together has just been such, such a sweet spot. But I would say too for moms that they think, well, gosh, that would be nice to make a little extra money here or there or have some way that I could still part time or whatever. Sometimes your season that you're in, you, you're going to dedicate everything that you have to just simply mothering and, or homeschooling, and that's fine as well. I have a friend, a really, really close friend in my life that she is overflowing with so much talent. I don't know how one person has that much talent, but she's got four kids ages 7 and under, and she'll say, she'll say in remark once in a while of just, I, you know, I wish maybe I could do this or I could volunteer, could do. And I, I remind her too of just, this is your season that you're in and it will not look like this forever, but you have to like, have that balance of what you can do and what is just going to stretch you too far away from what your priority is. And that's a chapter, a chapter in a letter, in a book too, of just finding balance, whatever that is in your season, whether that homeschooling and work or homeschooling and volunteering or just how much you're involved in in general. That's something that we talk about as well.
- [53:00]
A
And you said, you know, here you are, now you're, now you're speaking at these homeschool conferences and you're. But your youngest is 12. Yeah, that's a long time. Is 12, you know, and I think about. So, you know, I never knew I would do a podcast. I didn't even know what a podcast was, you know, and the other day, so our youngest is nine, she's in first, the fourth grade and she really likes dude, perfect. Which is a funny thing to say because they're like a YouTube, it's like a YouTube channel.
- [53:24]
B
Oh, my kids love Dr.
- [53:27]
A
So here we talk about getting outside, right? But, but they really like do perfect because they do these trick shots. And so then our kids are always trying to do these trick shots. And so anyway, and our youngest got to go and she went on the tour. They, they did this tour. And so she went with my husband anyway, had the opportunity to have them on the podcast and she sat right next to, to me and ask questions. It was a really short one because, you know, they didn't have that much time. But, you know, I thought, okay, in a different world, if we would have done the traditional school route, there is a lot of like, knowing it's, it's very clear cut, right? Like, I, if that's what we were doing right now, here's what I would know. I, I would actually be almost retiring. Like, that's where I would be at, which is kind of wild to think. I, I started teaching at 21. I bought five years of retirement, which is a weird thing. I'd be retiring at 46 and I'm 45. So I'm like, okay, if I would have gone that route, I mean, it would have been kind of stable in some ways in that, right? Like, she would be sitting in a classroom doing what all fourth graders do, my other kids, you know, and I would be on the verge of retirement. And yet here I am sitting next to my 9 year old during the day talking to dude, perfect and doing an interview. And they said to her, and she's got her, you know, she's in fourth grade, so she's got all her mouth appliances. It's like a whole thing. They said, when are you going to start your podcast? You're really good at this. I thought, oh, like you use the phrase at the very beginning or just the word unknown. Like, there are a lot of unknowns here. But if you can look at that as an exciting thing, if you can be patient through the years where, you know, you really can't do much else but, but care for children and that's, you know, that's what you're doing. But at some point, time does start to open up and with your kids around, you know, you can. And it's got to be really cool if you go to a homeschool conference and a kid of yours can come with you, or they all come with you and they get to meet the different people and they get to travel and it just looks so different. You know, some people do. Like my friend Jen, she does like a bakery thing and she's selling her stuff out at the road. I'm not even saying that you have to do that, but it's, it's more about that they're. If you want that.
- [55:36]
B
Yeah.
- [55:36]
A
If you know, they're part of your identity, that you're like, oh, God, made me to be good at these things. You might be shutting it down for a little bit of a season, but when it comes roaring back, you get to include your family with it.
- [55:49]
B
Yeah, absolutely. And I think in those formats like that, it's so much more fulfilling too, because again, you're blending those skills and abilities and things that you love with what you love most, your, your family and time together. And what better real life example is it to how, how life as an adult functions than kids getting to have a sneak peek at some of the creative outlets that are out there being one of the things with flexibility. That's another one of my whys. I'll add that to my list. One of the things with flexibility. So too, we own a commercial cleaning company. And so occasionally I'll have something, you know, appointments or whatever. And the boys, even though, you know, their teens, preteens could, you know, be on their own for a while. Sometimes they'll just go to work with dad and they'll go check on some of our cleaning accounts and they get to see, okay, this is, this is a small business in action. This, these are our employees. This is how you, you know, speak to staff and interact and encourage and be a good boss. Or this is how you interact with clients that you work with. And they're, they're seeing that they, they've even been in the corner before. When my husband has been doing, you know, interviews or something, they've ended up with him on a day where he's like interviewing new staff and it's like a front row seat to all those inner working of a small business. You know, even the flexibility of things like that, you know, maybe it's not you, but it's, you know, even seeing
- [57:26]
A
your spouse and maybe it's your grandpa, maybe it's your aunt, maybe, you know, it's your friend. I mean, that it's just like the, the wide open west where you just, you're sacrificing. Clarity is not the right word. You're, you're sacrificing like that, that linear for this kind of unknown. And that's another thing that got added to your list of whys. Right. Oh, there's flexibility. Oh, when your kid is seven, you can't really imagine, like, you know, what it's going to be really good for them someday, you know, if they're going to get some exposure to business.
- [57:58]
B
Yeah.
- [57:59]
A
That now your, your bucket of wise has in increased. We've only talked about like two of the topics. But you know, I was thinking as we talked like, you know, because I have thought about it here and there, especially as I'm approaching this year, that I would have retired and had a retirement. Like I, I was like on the cusp. You know, I think they've changed all the schooling stuff now. Like my brother's just five years younger than me and his whole situation is different, but I would have gotten like an actual retirement, actual pension, actual health care, you know, all of that. And I've thought about it and I'm like, was it really a sacrifice? Because I like my life so much better now.
- [58:33]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [58:34]
A
And so sometimes what appears to be a sacrifice in the moment turned out. I don't know, I don't even really know how to reconcile that. I'm like, is it really a sacrifice if I got to sit next to my 9 year old daughter and talk to dude, perfect together? Is it really a sacrifice of. Same thing. Go to homeschool conferences and like our kids get to get up and play guitar and sing. Like, you know, is it. And it is at the moment, but somehow like it morphs into something that you couldn't ever imagine.
- [59:03]
B
Yeah, I, I completely agree. And I think that's why again, we as moms need that connection with other moms in our lives because, you know, those are just our stories. But if you talk to moms in your life, you know, moms around you, you know, they're going, especially those that you know are a few steps ahead of you, they're going to have maybe similar stories, maybe completely opposite stories, but we're going to, we're going to glean inspiration from that regardless of how close to that looks to our own lives. And I mean, that's one of the things with the very last chapter of the book. All these unique circumstances, you know, single mom, military mom, working mom, mom of, you know, homeschooling and only child, all of these things. And I put that in the last chapter of the book and my introduction to that was, you know, don't skip this. You may look at this list of things and that none of that applies to me. Well, what does apply to you is just seeing the inspiration, the creativity, the perseverance that's on full display in all of these unique circumstances that many of us would agree that might be difficult circumstances. And so that's what we learn from each other as homeschool moms. As different as our journeys and situations are, there's that common thread of having a passion for what we're doing, commitment to it, accepting the sacrifices, and, you know, just knowing that. That this is the choice that we've made for our family.
- [60:32]
A
Yeah, that's. It's a fantastic premise of a book because like you said, these are only our stories. So, like, there's a mom. They're like, okay, I'm concerned about kids missing out on sports and activities. And Maria from Nebraska is like, you don't have to, you know, and, you know, it just. It's person after person about socialization. This one mom's like, I'm the most awkward person I know, and I went through public school, so clearly that, you know, this is Zindell from Wisconsin, and it's just mom after mom. And, you know, you can talk about navigating unique situations unless your youngest kids are twins. Eventually all of us will be homeschooling an only child. So, you know, there's. There's bits and pieces, pieces in here that are just. It's all applicable and it's a wonderful format. And these and the proceeds are going to help other homeschool families and that we always end our show with the same question. What's a favorite memory from your childhood? That was outside.
- [61:18]
B
Favorite memory from my childhood outside. Okay. It's. It's vacation related, I would have to say. When I was in seventh grade, I remember my dad picking me up from school, picking me up from public school. And it was snowing outside where I am, where I live in Missouri. Snowing, snowing. We drove to the airport, flew to Florida, and spent a few days on the beach in the middle of February with my family. And I can remember all of that so much. It was fantastic.
- [61:51]
A
I totally believe that's what you do when you live in the North. You're like, get me out of here. I love the book. It is a fan. It was a fantastic idea to do it the way that you did it. It is going to be so helpful for anyone who reads it. I. I highly recommend Dear Homeschool mom, letters of encouragement for moms from moms. Annette, thanks for being here.
- [62:10]
B
You are so easy to talk to. I felt so comfortable. What a great job you do at this. I love it. I love it so much.
- [62:18]
A
I loved it.
- [62:18]
B
You're a true gift. So thank you. Thank you for all that you do and for being willing to, I would say, invite me on, but I think I invited myself.
- [62:28]
A
I was like, hey, that's great. That's what you got to do in the world. I invite myself to a lot of places, too. Even though my mom was always like, don't do that. I was like, that's how you have to get. That's how you have to do it.
- [62:38]
B
Thank you again, so much.