← The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
1KHO 845: Childhood Is Under Siege | Dr. Crystal Miller, Kid Magic Unlocked
00:53:59
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- [00:01]
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- [01:03]
Jeanne Eric
Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Jeanne Eric. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside and Dr. Crystal Miller is here today and we are going to be talking about the fact that childhood is under siege and what we can do about it. Welcome, Crystal.
- [01:18]
Dr. Crystal Miller
It is such an honor to be here with you. Ginny, thank you so much for inviting me.
- [01:22]
Jeanne Eric
You have got an incredibly cool background. So you work with professional athletes, professional women's soccer team in Italy. You've done, you work as a physical therapist. Doctor of physical therapy by trade and profession. You say I'm pretty fun. You know, I do this physical therapy thing and I make it fun. Can you talk about your background of working also in schools? So you've worked with administrators and teachers and parents and kids and service providers. So you have a very in depth background that makes you the person to be speaking about topics like childhood being at risk.
- [01:57]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Absolutely. So I consider myself a transfer student from medicine to education. A constant student actually. But so I, like you said, I worked in, I'm a physical therapist by trade. Doctor of physical therapy by trade. I worked in Italy with professional athletes. I've worked in children's hospitals, hospitals, you name it, I've been there. And then when I was pregnant with my second son, I have three boys. When I was pregnant with number two, I decided to switch into the school systems. So I love kids. I've always Loved kids. I see eye to eye with them. I stand at a whopping 4 foot 11. So I see eye to eye with them on a lot of levels. And like you said, I'm kind of fun. So I started working in schools. So I guess it's been about 12 years now. And I don't do like regular physical therapy. It's not like we go in and we do sit ups and pushups. I started asking questions like, um, what are the challenges that we're working with? What are their struggles? And I would get like really weird looks like, oh, you know, they walk into walls and fall out of chairs. And I'm like, yes, but like, what else? Like, are they struggling with reading? Are they struggling with math? Like, what is the whole picture of this child? And that's not the answer I was getting. So I did a little digging on my own. And so I started making these programs for kids that weren't just to address their physical deficits, but also their challenges all around. I asked the kids themselves, like, what are your struggles? Whatn. And so, you know, if they were learning math and struggling in math, we do hopscotch math or we do, you know, leapfrogs, like birds or whatever. And so I started putting movement together with all of their learning. And what I found was that my students or my kids were not just improving physically, they were improving academically, they were improving socially, emotionally. They were more self confident. And then all of a sudden, teachers started asking me, oh, hey, wait a second, can you come into my room and look at this other kid? Can you check out this can? Are there things that I can. And so I just kind of pooled all my resources together and I went to like my kids elementary school principal and I was like, do you think this would help any of your teachers? And he just looked at me and he goes, you wrote a curriculum? And I was like, oh, is that what that is? Cool. So that's really where it came from. But it really comes back to the fact that I think we unintentionally separate, like the brain and the body. We unintentionally separate learning from moving. And it really is. I mean, learning is moving. You know, living things that move have a brain and living things that don't move don't have a brain. And it's as simple as that. Yes.
- [04:39]
Jeanne Eric
There we go. So the curriculum is called how to be a Kid, which I love. I love the name. And that's the name of your company. The book that you wrote is called Kid Magic Unlocked. And Then you have magic as an acronym that you came up with. We're going to talk about some of those. M A G, I C. What they stand for. Kid Magic unlocked A grown up's guide for reimagining education to cultivate the limitless potential of. Of every child. You have a forward by Dr. Robert Malilo. I'm not sure if that's how you say it, Melillo.
- [05:06]
Dr. Crystal Miller
That's how you.
- [05:07]
Jeanne Eric
Anyway, I'm gonna get a chance to talk with him, I think later this month. So. I loved reading about all of his work in your book as well. One of the things I thought was super interesting, Crystal, was about this right left hemisphere brain stuff. So you talk about how there can be an imbalance between the left and right hemisphere of the brain and what. One of the things I was wondering. So you could talk about what that shows up as like one side as is more dominant. You brought up Dr. Carla Hannaford, which I was thrilled. Her book the dominance Factor I think is one of the most important books for people to read. And also I love her other book play, what's it called? Why learning is not all in your head. Oh, smart moves, smart moves. That's a life so good. So what you talk about is that there needs to be this left and right brain balance and that imbalances show up in all sorts of different ways. Like, like learning challenges, behavior challenges, emotional social development. And in a day and age where screen use is. Is more heavy than it used to be, I know that that probably could affect the balance between the hemispheres of the brain.
- [06:19]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So Absolutely. If you. So I. I'm such a neuroscience nerd. I love all of this stuff. Yeah. So I, I love magic. And that's why the, the magic was so important to me because magic is everything. In my house, we talk about magic all the time. And so I use it as in both the, I guess, woofy poo form and the technical form as well. But I really love neuroscience as it really does help me understand why. So I run based on gut and intuition and then I have to know why it worked. And so if you look at the brain, I like to break it down from the very basic level. Humans are so unique. We have the most amazing brains and like per body size, our brains are the biggest. But what's so unique about us is that we're born with most of our brain not developed yet because we're bipedal, we stand on two feet, we have teeny tiny little birth canals. And so our brains are only born like 20% developed. And that's a good thing because if babies were born with fully developed brains, we wouldn't have mommies. And we need mommies. So most of our brain development happens after. And how does that happen? Movement. Well, how do you develop a brain through movement if you know, you have this adorably helpless little child that doesn't move? So we're pre programmed with what's called primitive reflexes. And those are like, you know, if you touch a baby's cheek, you have the rooting reflex, you touch their palm, they squeeze you, you know, you take the baby back, they startle. All those are your primitive reflexes. They start to develop the brain until we have these more coordinated and mature movements like crawling, which I'm sure you've, I've said multiple times in the book and, and out loud is crawling was removed from the developmental milestone list, which was like a stab to the heart. Which is why I rewrote all of the developmental milestones to be fully scientifically backed and published them in my book, because I was really upset about that. I think that parents need to know how important these milestones truly are. So as we develop, we develop our, you know, our, our brain stem comes first. That's our like life important skills like breathing and, and then our, our next level of our brain, which is where life gets meaning, social interaction, sensory integration, all of that fun stuff. And then that human brain comes left last. Now as we go into left and right hemisphere, they're not perfectly symmetrical. Each hemisphere has different components that offer us our whole big picture. So in general, when it comes to motor, you know, your right hemisphere controls your left motor and left and right, that's on a very basic scale. But there's also different things that live in each side. So when we're developing, our right side comes on first. And that's more like your big picture learning, like your global learning. And I know you've covered this in your book a little bit, but we're global learners when we first come out. And it's not until a little bit later in life that that left side comes on and that's more of a linear, you know, logical. So when we talk about left and right brain people, they say, oh, right brain are those big picture like abstract creatives and left brain people are like logical people. Yeah, we all naturally have one hemisphere that kind of takes the lead. But we all both have both brains. None of us here are half brains. At least I don't think so. So there's always kind of one that takes the lead. The problem is when there's an interruption in development and one side up super fast and the other is super delayed, and then they can't really communicate the way that they need to. And that's when you see things like autism and adhd, which would be right hemispheric delays. And on the other side, dyslexia would be a left hemispheric delay. So you can see these delays and how they impact, you know, childhood and, you know, the learning process, so on and so forth.
- [10:07]
Jeanne Eric
That is so intriguing. I never heard of any of that, how it can show up. And then you talk about that there are ways that you can support the brain in reestablishing balance and then tying that to Dr. Carla Hannaford, who wrote the book Smart Moves, and also the one that you bring up in your book, which is dominance, called the dominance factor, when she talks about the. The. I don't know what you would call it, the integration of both sides, basically. Like, there's that corpus callosum that goes down the middle, and that's how they kind of communicate from one side to the other. If I'm saying this wrong, you can just jump in. But she said the best way to enhance, basically the way that the both sides speak to each other. The most important thing you can do is unstructured, imaginative play.
- [10:53]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah. So I have. One of my favorite quotes that I read this year was, it takes 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain, unless it is done through play, in which case it takes 10 to 20. And that was like. It hits you, you know, especially. So now I'm. I'm now homeschooling my older two, and my next one will be joining us next year. And it is so interesting to, like. I mean, I've. I've. I've always been interested in education, so I've taught my kids, teachers, I've been very involved in the school, and I've done stuff with them outside of school. But now seeing them go through the process all day, every day, and watching that happened is. It is so interesting to see what information they grab onto and hold. And it's usually the stuff that's more meaningful to them and stuff that they don't even realize they're learning that. That they're holding on to.
- [11:46]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah, yeah. And yet, just like the power of play. And you talk about this, obviously, a lot in your book. It's called Kid Magic Unlocked. So when we have these. This disconnection between the two sides of the Brain, you say it can, it can affect everything from focus to impulse control to emotional processing to academic performance. You wrote we often see more right brain deficiencies than left. Why is that?
- [12:13]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So a lot of that comes from when development is interrupted. And those early on interruptions tend because again, our right hemisphere comes on first and those early on intervention interruptions to development tend to hit that right side the hardest at times. And that would be probably, especially with the types of interruptions we're talking about.
- [12:38]
Jeanne Eric
Like what, like, what would be an example of an interruption? You're talking like 0 to 3ish, you know, like, is that right? Like the linear, the left hemisphere is coming, starting what, two, three.
- [12:50]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So an immune response, for example. If you have an immune response at a young age, that can interrupt brain development. There's actually a lot of conversation now, especially with early inter screens. Early screen time as young as two.
- [13:07]
Jeanne Eric
Right. That's kind of what I was thinking. Right, because.
- [13:10]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah, well, it was.
- [13:11]
Jeanne Eric
It's interesting because I read a statistic recently that said that it's by Arlene Pelican and it was in one of her books and it said that the average child in 1970 didn't watch television until age four and today it's four months. You know, and we had, you know, I'm not here to like throw shade on anyone. We had screens. I just talked to them and I'm like, we ended up getting screens in our cars because the kids screamed, you know, they were not four years old by any means. They were like 15 months. So. But that is a really remarkable difference. You know, if a kid had basically limited or no screen time until age 4 and that's, you know, a big right brain building part of childhood and development. You could see how the ways, you know, or, or the ways that, you know, kids are not allowed to move or imagine or that type of thing, it's hampering the right hemisphere of the brain.
- [14:05]
Dr. Crystal Miller
That's what I honestly think it is the perfect storm of everything. I mean, aside from the fact that we've got, you know, food toxins and environmental toxins and early screens and constant stimulation everywhere we go. It's actually. This is a slightly embarrassing but kind of funny story are so when you have a lot of kids, when screens come into the house, they come into the house regardless of what age the oldest is and what age the youngest is. It's the same age for everyone. So I was so strict about screens coming into the house with my oldest. But then once they did you. Now I have my Youngest who we go to the grocery store and he tries to swipe a poster like, like to see the next picture. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that's so embarrassing.
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Jeanne Eric
Yeah. But it happens, you know.
- [14:49]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah.
- [14:49]
Jeanne Eric
Because the oldest one, you know, they're going to have a different experience even, like, which, what movies they watch and things like that. The kids will be like, wait, like, why is. You know, so, yeah, there is that difference. And if you have multiple kids in the family, but then what you talk about is there is a lot of hope here. So you say when a hemisphere delay goes unrecognized. And I guess this is really important to know because sometimes there may be a behavioral challenge or an academic challenge that's happening with your child and you might not totally know the reason, and this might help you to get there. When a hemisphere delay goes unrecognized, you wrote, the child's uneven skill profile can lead to misunderstanding, understanding. There's also a connection between brain symmetry and mental health. But you talk about how we can support the brain in reestablishing balance. What are a couple of ways that we can do that?
- [15:39]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So when I very first started, I would all. All kids, I'd be like, all right, let's move. And then it was really okay. So which movements are, are helping the. So Dr. Carla Hannaford talks a lot about Brain Gym, Paul and Gail Dennison's Brain Gym, which is cross lateral movements. And they're essential. Cross lateral movements are essential for getting the left and the right hemisphere to communicate with one another, for bilateral coordination. But the missing piece, and this is where Dr. Melillo's work is just so huge, is that if your delay is so significant, first you gotta catch that side up. So you work on catching the deficient side up. And then you work on cross lateral movements. But then there's things that you know you can do every day. And so there's all different types of movements. There's the brain break type of movement where it's like, okay, you guys are either over or understimulated. Go outside and play. You know, then there's what I like to call, in my house, we call it neuro gymnastics, which is getting, getting kind of the brain online and ready to learn. So, you know, I do silly things with my kids in the morning where we'll write like our first name with our left hand and our last name with our right name, our right hand. At the same time, we'll play these little games where we do cross patterns or we'll do like, okay, so, you know, touch the colors with this one and trace them with this one. Or make different patterns with both hands. And we do all these little silly to get our brains kind of warmed up. Then there's a different set of movement that I use for self regulation. So a lot of kids that I've worked with and then, you know, again, I have three boys, again, my own, have difficulty with regulating. So self regulation when they get worked up. And so there's certain things like deep pressure to the palms. So I teach all of my kids what I call hand clocks. So if you picture there's like a clock on your hand, they push really hard at 12 o', clock, 1 o', clock. And I make them go all the way around the clock back up to 12, and then they do it with their other hand. I still have some of my high school kids who I see like doing hand claps underneath the desk before tests.
- [17:39]
Jeanne Eric
Wow.
- [17:40]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Or whenever they're getting ready for a game. Heavy, heavy work is another one. So if a kid who's getting like, you know, over regulated, they can lift their bottom up by pushing on the chair. Sometimes I tell them to like move the wall where they push really hard into the wall, which also does. It does two things. It's heavy work and an Achilles stretch, believe it or not, is also regulating to the central nervous system. And then I've set up systems in schools where I'll set up like buddy teachers, where if I know that a classroom has a kid who really struggles, Mrs. Romeo will have a relationship with Mrs. Walsh where she can say, hey, buddy, can you carry this box down to Mrs. Walsh's classroom for me? And it's just a box filled with books. And now they're out of the classroom. Classroom. They're walking and they're carrying something heavy. And then they go to the other classroom and they have another box to bring back to Mrs. Romeo.
- [18:35]
Ethos Life Insurance Narrator
Yeah.
- [18:36]
Dr. Crystal Miller
And these types of little strategies are what? Because teachers can't treat, health professionals treat. So but there also needs to be a way to help these kids in school or at home. So we have different strategies for management versus treatment.
- [18:52]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah. And the book is fantastic in for a lot of reasons. I took a lot of notes and you learn a lot. But you also have this part of the book where you go through and you just have so many ideas. It's almost like a workbook format. It's kind of like toward the end, but still in the middle a little bit where you go through and you have just idea after idea after idea. Like, like that you just brought up. And so it's all in one place. So that I loved that format. This very concise and you know, so there's so many practical ideas. It was brain breaks, movement and hassle, enhanced learning, traditions, transitions, calming the nervous system, mindfulness activities, maker space, a car, you know, the cardboard shed, ways to incorporate chill time, which you. Which for you, it's a child led learning, chill time, stimulating the senses. So there was a lot of practical ideas. So people are listening to rattle off these ideas of like carrying the book.
- [19:47]
Christopher Fitton
Books.
- [19:47]
Jeanne Eric
They're in the. They're in the book, you know, and just very easy to access. My midwife had talked about this for a really long time. She was like, you know, if you could have a little bridge, like a small little. Not a bridge that goes over water, but, you know, you sometimes have those little, like wooden. Just can be really small. And she would be like, you know, if your kid is kind of melting down, you'd be like, can you really help me? I need you to move this set of logs from this side of the bridge to the other, you know, and that. This, that helps for the regulation. So you, when you're talking about. It was so interesting to me, Crystal, that you're talking about the right brain deficiencies. We often see more right brain deficiencies than left. Dr. Arthur Brooks just came out with a whole book about that. We're not living in the right side of our brains as adults, so this is continuing on through the lifespan. And so a big thing that you talk about in the book, because, like, the right side is like the fun side, the right side is like the arts. The right side is the relationship. So a big thing that you talk about in this book, and it comes up often, is the arts. The arts are the universal language of humanity. You write the arts influence the heart. They influence our emotions. You say all arts count. Culinary arts, you know, they're. They're not extra. They are foundational. So can you talk about, well, your experience with the arts? You are in drama. This kind of catapulted you to know yourself better. You went to college, there was art there. You talk about music. So can we talk about the importance. I mean, that often is getting the leftover time.
- [21:21]
Dr. Crystal Miller
I so feel you on that one. So for me, the arts are the only language that is truly human. That is the human language, whether you speak multiple languages or not. Most people can interpret the feeling of classical music or of a dance. So I do think it's so human, the arts. And yeah, so believe it or not. So I now, you know, I'm an author and a public speaker. But when I was younger, I was selectively mute. I didn't speak at all. I was very like math and science. And I was so shy and quiet
- [21:58]
Jeanne Eric
and really left brain, right, Very math and science. That's so interesting, Crystal.
- [22:04]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah, like literally all. And it's funny because my. My dad, I was in sixth grade and my dad said, I want you to try out for the high school play. They were doing Joseph and the Amazing Tec Technicolor Dreamcoat, and they needed younger kids for the children's course. And I looked at him, I was like, do you even know me? Because I'm like, I'm not going on stage. And he goes, it would mean a lot to your grandma. Now. My grandma's very important to me, his mom. And I was like, that's cheating. Like, you're cheating, but fine. So I went and I auditioned for the children's chorus and I had to sing Happy Birthday to the director. And it was the most. I still feel the anxiety from standing there and singing Happy Birthday. But I loved that experience. And I went on to do every single high school drama production. And some of the most important people in my life are my high school drama director, who I still talk to, and the choreographer. And I literally found my voice on stage. Now, granted, I would be ensemble in a one person show, but just the confidence to get up there and be there. I literally found myself on stage, which is crazy, you know, but it helped me in all aspects of my life. So when I went to college, I did what's called the Delta College program, which was a real life learning program. And we really focused on the arts. So the other kids on campus used to make fun of us. They're like, you know, you guys just make monoliths by lakeside. And I used to take offense to that as someone who cared very much about my education and was very much an academic. But looking back, like, we did make Mondalis by Lakeside, and it was awesome. And we went to museums and we spent an entire semester debating Fight Club. And, you know, we learned through our experience in the arts and creating shows and dances. And, you know, I was nervous going to med school, like when I was getting my PT doctorate, because I'm like, am I even prepared for school based on where I came from? And I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm more than prepared. I'm comfortable speaking. I can communicate, I can write my thoughts out. And so, yeah, like you said we treat the arts as very much the extra. When I do think that they're foundational.
- [24:17]
Jeanne Eric
Absolutely. Wow. And you talked about music. Music enhances memory by activating both hemispheres of the brain. This is coming up throughout the whole book. It's like the importance of both hemispheres of the brain. And screens are very left hemisphere dominant. Activating, you know, and so, like, there are people who would say, look, if you're trying to get your. If your kid is almost in a trance, you know, you, you. And you really got to balance that out with hands on right side of the brain. Arts. Any of the arts. Drawing, painting, photography, sculpture, music, dance, theater, poetry, culinary arts. I mean, the list just goes on.
- [24:55]
Dr. Crystal Miller
You have.
- [24:56]
Jeanne Eric
The arts are not a separate subject, a special and elective, but rather the human foundation upon which we experience our world. And so even with the music, you know, it's. It's activating both hemispheres of the brain. It combines language and creativity. It makes information easier to encode and recall. The rhythm, even the rhythm will influence your brainwaves. You had a whole information like theta versus beta versus. I don't even. I'm not quite sure. You talk about all the neuroscience. I might have just totally botched that. The alpha waves for relaxation. So you're going to learn a lot from this book, kid. Magic unlocked. And the arts are really important. So is play. So you talk about the fact that recess is shrinking and play breaks are replaced by academic instruction, even down to kindergarten. Kindergarten, which was once the magical land of learning through play, has become the new first grade. And you say, this is. This is not the way to do it. It's too much structure. So can you talk about the importance of play? And you. You told your own story of, like, with your own kids, where you were. You were structuring it.
- [26:03]
Ethos Life Insurance Narrator
Right?
- [26:03]
Jeanne Eric
Which I think a lot of us do. And I think it makes sense. And you're trying to them to get the most out of their play, but that's a lot of work for the parent to structure their play. And then can you talk about how when you, you know, you started to kind of like, realize, all right, I don't really want to be the one structuring their play. I think there's benefits if they figure out what they want to do. And you're like, for the first couple days, they were like, not into it.
- [26:25]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So this is. This is so embarrassing. But I. First of all, I always wanted to be a mom. I knew I wanted to be a mom from when I was, like, younger this was, like, the ultimate goal for me. So it was really, you know, I was determined to be mom, and I was going to be, like, the Pinterest mom. So I made all the sensory bins. I would do obstacle courses. I was, like, so cool. And it wasn't until Covid when the world shut down that it was like, all right, you guys are home. We're gonna do all this stuff. It's gonna be great. And so I'd go outside, and I'd set up these, like, massive obstacle courses. And I'm like, I mean, it would take me more time to set them up than they would play on it, and I should know better. But anyways, so we're doing this now. All of a sudden, two weeks goes by, and, like, you know, there's this. Okay, virtual school now is gonna start to resume. Now, at the time, I was working in schools, and so I was asked to do virtual PT with these students. Mind you, virtual PT with children. Anyways, but that's a whole nother topic. So I had to get onto the computer just to, you know, touch base with my students. So I told the kids to go outside and play, and they were like, what do we do? And I was like, I don't know, like, play. And they're like, well, can you set up. Can you set up an obstacle course? I'm like, oh, real quick. And then. And then as I'm going through, I was like, no, guys. Like, literally one hour. And so I. I locked them outside. Now, mind you, it was fenced in, and they were safe. It was the backyard.
- [27:55]
Jeanne Eric
That's what people used to do. So, I mean, my neighbors growing up were locked out all summer long.
- [28:01]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah. So I locked them outside, and they sat on the porch, and they cried for, like, an hour. Like, and I left them there crying at the. At the door. And I did finally let them in after an hour and fed them lunch.
- [28:14]
Jeanne Eric
This is what Pinterest moms do.
- [28:16]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yes. Okay, well, that wasn't on Pinterest. But by day two, they cried a little bit, and then they went out and played. By literally day three, I had to call them in for lunch, and by the end of the week, they had invented Spud. And I was like, oh, nice job, guys. But it was really interesting for me to see that the best thing that I could have ever done for them was get out of their way. And it took me a long time. I mean, it took till three kids to figure that out. That.
- [28:47]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah, I love that story, though, because you had to stick with it, you know, you're like, they cried for day one, you know, day two wasn't that great either. But by day three, things changed. So it changes quickly. But you gotta kind of hold your ground there for a little bit of time while they try and figure it out. And you wrote, by constantly structuring my kids play, I'd rob them of the chance to develop the essential skills that only free play can teach. You wrote, despite overwhelming research on the importance of play, which is so true, it is overwhelming. And I feel like at this point it is everywhere. There are so many books on the importance of play. You wrote, we continue to take it away. Why do you think that is?
- [29:26]
Dr. Crystal Miller
That's a great question. And I, that that might be the one question in the book I most certainly don't even have any direction of an answer for. We have so much good information out there, yet we continue to ignore it. And even because I teach teachers now, now kindergarten teachers are among the most like, this is not right. I hate that I'm doing this. And it feels wrong. And these kids should be playing and we're robbing them of their childhood. I honestly don't know. Even like we have kids who are struggling to read. How do we, how do we teach this? We overwhelm them with the stress of reading. That's not how you teach reading. There's no reading spot on the brain. It's an integration of multiple areas that are developed through childhood, through play, through, you know, being a kid. And that blows my mind because we treat it as this, oh, well, just we're going to top down treat these symptoms instead of bottom up treat where we went wrong in development or didn't give them enough play. You know, you brought up technology before as a mom, I really struggled with that one there. It's such a polarizing topic. It's like, all right, well, how much technology is too much technology? You know, I limited it all. And then when Covid happened, my. So my oldest at the time was in second grade and the first time they logged on to like a group chat, the first thing you know, so my son, my oldest, his name is Jackson, he was like, hey guys, what are you doing? Like, I'm playing outside. What are you guys doing? And they're like, what's your Roblox login? What's your Fortnite login? And. And he didn't have any of that. And so the whole conversation, they wouldn't even talk to him. And he just shut the screen and started crying and walked away. And I was like, am I socially isolating you? I was like, is that my mistake?
- [31:16]
Jeanne Eric
Oh, my goodness. But let me tell you, I just talked to this man named Nick McKinley who they call like the Jack Ryan real life. I was like a pararescue man. And then he was in the CIA and now he has. And he's done a bunch of other things as well, but he has this non profit called Deliver Fund, which is to fight human trafficking. And he said it's an incredibly huge problem right in the United States. You wouldn't even believe it. And he said, good moms. That's what he said. He's like, and I'm going to ruffle some feathers. He said, good moms do not let their children be on Roblox.
- [31:48]
Dr. Crystal Miller
I made sure that. So Roblox hasn't been in my house. But I did start to bend a little bit because at that time I was like, all right, so it's like,
- [31:57]
Jeanne Eric
but that's so hard.
- [31:58]
Dr. Crystal Miller
What do you do?
- [31:59]
Jeanne Eric
We had similar situations too, where it's like, okay, I had, I've talked about this before, but like when our oldest daughter was in fourth grade, she was on a rec basketball team. And so when they're there and they're in their downtime, you know, like before pictures, team pictures, they're all on a phone, all of them except for her. And then she just standing there and they're all. They were doing, I'm not kidding that they were doing TikTok videos or Dan, you know, like. Yeah, filming themselves. They put it up on the, you know, on the, whatever, some shelf on the wall and like videotape themselves doing these synchronized dances and you feel horrific for your child.
- [32:34]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah, no, so my oldest has told me so he was in sixth grade and he was like, mom, I'm the only one without a phone. And I was like, yep. And he was like, you know, but everyone's on social media and they're on YouTube. And I said, absolutely not. I said, you. So I did let him have a watch. I said, you have a watch that you can stay in, involved in group chats and you can call me and you can go into town. I said, but I'm not giving you a phone. Absolutely not. You will not be on social media. And it was funny because all of his friends surrounded me at the pool and they were like, okay, Mrs. Miller, if we all pitch in, can we buy a Jackson phone? And I was like, they were picturing you. I was like, you guys are so sweet. But even if you buy him A phone, he can't have it. And so it was funny because he came up to me like later that day and he goes, you know what, mom? I figured it out. He goes, I don't really want a phone. I just don't want my friends to have them anymore. And I was like, wow. And it was right because, you know, they'd get together and I'd see like all of them sitting and staring at their phones instead of playing. And I, you know, I'm that mom. I'd go yank them out of their hands and kick them and say, go jump on the trampoline. But that very much forced me to change my approach. And I'm not saying I do it right, but my approach to technology is I teach my kids about brain science. And I'm like, okay, so these are the areas of your brain that are negatively impacted by screen time. You know, these are your quick 3 second dopamine releases that are causing addictive behaviors. But here are things that help counteract that. So, you know, like, like you've said before, you know, kids are getting four to seven minutes outside and you know, as in contrast to their five to eight hours on screens, well, if we, if we increase screen time but decrease outdoor time and decrease movement, well, then we have a huge problem. But if we counteract screen time with those very same things, like the things that positively impact those same areas of the brain, like outdoor time, movement and whatnot, well, then we got a fighting chance. So when, you know, the pediatrician's like, how much screen time do you give your kids a week? I'm like, well, we don't do that. I say to my kids, well, what have you done to earn your screen time? And it's, well, mom, I read 20 minutes. We've played outside for two hours. We did movement and exercise and you know, if they're totally regulated, then all right, well then maybe you guys can go play Madden together. Go play anything together.
- [34:46]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah, you know, yeah, I do think that that seems to have worked in our family too. And I, I don't totally know all of the science behind it. You know, there's this man, Dr. Nicholas Carderis, who talks about screen addiction and he does say that. I think he said about 10% of the population is more prone towards screen addiction. I mean, probably just more prone toward addiction in general. But I have found it's just a protective measure. If you have a hands on life primarily, then overall the screens have less draw. But you can see how that, you know, that if you have A cohort of children who are not good at playing because they haven't done it very much. They've been in mostly adult, structured situations that recess would be hard. You know that. And especially if it's 20 minutes, they don't have enough time to get involved in their play. You know, there can be squabbles. So you can see how even though there's overwhelming research practically, it can be tricky because you've got kids coming in and all different abilities, I guess, to like even join in at play. And with the increase in screens, you know that, and increase in adult LED activities. Because you said in the book the average American child is participating in 5 to 12 structured activities per week. So they may not even have the skill set to do this mixed stage play or unstructured, imaginative play. And so then you could see how as an adult, it just becomes a cycle, right? Where you're like, okay, this kid's crying. You know, they're fighting with the other kids. So let's just increase the structure because overall, maybe that. That seems to be working. So there's a lot in here about having unstructured fun and just giving it some time. Giving it some time so that the child can become more imaginative and more creative and reap the full benefits of play. We have to stop over structuring it. We need to let them be bored. And when we're talking about play, a lot that's happening there is sensory rich. So you talk in this book, Kid Magic Unlocked, and there are acronyms, but I have dreamt all around. So I'll give people a little taste of one or two of the. Of the M, the magic model, so then they can come back and read the rest of them. But M is meet the child where they are. This is where you're talking about the impact of the drama director and the choreographer when you're doing these plays and how these can really affect our kids, you know, so. So that's the M M part. Let's. And then you talk about, look at. I'm jumping everywhere. Their developmental needs.
- [37:33]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So the M is really the human connection. M is like where you. You create a connection. Like, you know, when you're. When you're. Say you're working with a child or, you know, you're a teacher or a parent or whatnot. If you go right at them with, you know, this is what we're gonna do today, it's like, who even are you? But if you're like, you know, all my kids talk about is, oh, my teacher's favorite color is pink. Oh, she, you know, she loves cats. She's, you know, she doesn't. She's an Islanders fan like me.
- [37:57]
Christopher Fitton
Woohoo.
- [37:58]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Go Islanders. Meeting the kid where they're at is really just making that human connection. Human connection is everything, especially in this disconnected world. A is where we assess their developmental needs. You know, where are they in left and right hemisphere balance? Where are they in. Their developmental milestones are huge. That's our first clue that something's wrong. Yet we tend to ignore them and say, oh, well, you know, kids develop at their own pace. Well that's true. But if you miss milestones, that's your first clue that maybe there's something there and we can. The younger you catch that, the quicker you can help change that. And these kids who are behind it doesn't make them feel better to say, oh, you know, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine. When they know they're like, no, no, no, I need help, I need help. Please help me. So that's what A is M, meet the kid where they're at. A, assess developmental needs, G, guide them using whole body developmentally aligned strategies. I incorporate those strategies into their everyday life and C, create a nurturing environment for all kids. Kids to bring out their magic.
- [38:52]
Jeanne Eric
Yes. Okay, so there's a lot of ideas in the book that hit all of those parts of the magic acronym. One of the things that you talk about then in terms of play, it's just, you know, like our world is a sensory rich place and you talk about the different senses like there's more than just the five and we're meant to live in this embodied way. So can you talk about Mr. Okay, you got cool illustrations in here too. Like when you explain the brain earlier, there's a really cool illustration in here of the, of the brain as like a three story house. I'm going to hold it up in case I ever get this up onto YouTube. But like the brain as a three story house is a really cool illustration there. But the other, another illustration that stuck out to me is Mr. Homunculus.
- [39:38]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yep, he's my favorite.
- [39:40]
Jeanne Eric
Okay, tell us about Mr. Homunculus.
- [39:43]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So Mr. Homunculus was, was actually brought to life by actually Penfield way, way, way back in the day. But what is a representation of how the brain sees the body? So if you look at him, he's got massively large hands and massively large eyes and mouth and facial features. Because the way that the brain gives us representation is by what it uses the most. So if you, you know, were to take a section and look at how many. How much area of the brain is given to each part of the body. The hands get a ton of representation, but our torso doesn't really get a lot of. Why? Because we don't take any sort of sensory input. We don't experience the world as much with our torso as we do with our hands. Same thing with oral motor speech and language and facial expressions get a huge amount of representation on the brain because that's our main form of communication and experience the world around us through taste and talking and touch. So when our brain. So Mr. Homunculus is the way our brain thinks, I guess that we look based on how much representation it gets on the brain.
- [40:51]
Jeanne Eric
So that is another filter, I think, to consider screen time through.
- [40:55]
Ethos Life Insurance Narrator
Right.
- [40:55]
Jeanne Eric
Because you're saying the certain parts of the body, especially our hands, lips and tongues, are given extra space in these brain maps. You're like, okay, if a kid is playing a video game, they are not really getting the sensory input. They're not, you know, I mean, maybe they're because they have headsets and things now, but it's like very short and they're not interacting. You know, you're not seeing the other person's facial expression. So I loved the illustration in there. I'd love to talk about this stillness. I think it's so interesting how you wrote about it in the book. You say stillness is an active process, not a passive one.
- [41:33]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah.
- [41:34]
Jeanne Eric
Oh, that's counterintuitive.
- [41:36]
Dr. Crystal Miller
That is. It's so funny because that is one thing I, I have gotten a lot of feedback on is that a lot of people think that. Think stillness is expected. First. It's more like a relaxed state. It's our default state. And in fact, our default state as humans is motion. We are born to be beings in motion, and movement is how we experience the world around us. Stillness, the ability to sit still, is a skill. It is a skill that requires executive function, which is one of our last areas of our brain to form. And the ability to sit still takes multiple different aspects of that executive function, which again is formed through movement. So we have this expectation of these young kids to sit quiet and still in circle time while their bodies are like all over the place. But stillness, I mean, the good news is it can be taught, but it most certainly is a skill. And that skill is only developed after having movement first. And I think a lot of people don't realize that, that it takes self control. It takes, you know, taking in Your surroundings. There's so many aspects of being able to sit still that are not innate. They're taught.
- [42:45]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah. And there is so much in the book about the importance of movement. You wrote this. Stillness, often viewed as a passive state, actually requires significant mental effort. Engaged. So think about a five year old or a six year old. You know, they, they're so little. They haven't learned this yet. Engage. They have to engage the prefrontal cortex to suppress distractions. They have to be able to regulate their emotions because it can be boring just to sit there and sit still. They have to maintain their composure. Well, it's movement that helps develop these abilities. Stillness is where they're actively practiced and refined. So you say we have to remember that if a child does not have enough movement in the early years, the area of the brain required for stillness does not have the opportunity to fully develop.
- [43:30]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Absolutely.
- [43:31]
Jeanne Eric
So then when you're talking about the kids that are falling off out of their chairs.
- [43:35]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah.
- [43:35]
Jeanne Eric
This possibly could be related to lack of movement in earlier childhood.
- [43:41]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah, no, it's. It's actually kind of funny because a lot of times I'm brought in as the physical therapist to help kids who are falling out of their chairs. And the first thing I do with them is movement. We go through their milestones. We go, I crawl with them, I'm rolling on the, the floor with them. And then when I start to get through, like, you know, the part where they can't sit still, I'll go into their classroom and I'll work with them on stillness. And some of these kids, literally three seconds is where they start. Three seconds is where they start to lose their ability to sit still. And so we do different training things to train their postural muscles. Because again, a lot of people are like, oh, my kid is strong enough. He moves all the time. And I'm like, like, oh, no, wait. You're talking about a totally different group of muscles. You've got moving muscles and you've got postural muscles. And their postural muscles are so weak that they can't even hold themselves still, much less have the mental capacity to stay there. So it's part of both training the endurance of these postural muscles to hold themselves upright. I've had kids where I try to hold them upright and they just collapse on their desk. And it's like, oh, baby. So it's a lot of different aspects that go into this. Oh, sit still. That's not that easy.
- [44:53]
Jeanne Eric
Oh, and how hard would that be? You know, like. And then you're supposed to be learning the material at the same time. And you can hardly hold your yourself in the right position.
- [45:03]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Oh, my gosh. I took one, one teacher, she said, she said, this kid is lazy and he won't do his work. And so I said, all right, come here, follow me. And I made her sit at a desk. I had her sit on the floor, and I had her lift her feet up. So trying to mimic lack of core control. So I had her sit on the floor, lift the feet up, and I brought the desk up to, like, her chin, and I put a teeny, tiny little crayon in her hand. And I said, okay, now I want you to write the Alphabet. She's like, this is really hard. I said, yes, it is. Oh, I put it in her left hand. I put it in her left hand. And she said, this is really hard. And I said, yes, it is really hard. For this child who was learning to write for the first time, who has no core control. The desk is like up to his mid chest, and his feet don't touch the ground, so he can't ground. And you're expecting him to color in the lines or write his name. This is not a realistic expectation. So it's not the kid who needs to change necessarily here. Your expectations need to change.
- [45:58]
Ethos Life Insurance Narrator
Yeah.
- [45:59]
Jeanne Eric
And the environment, like the fact that the desk is not the right height and, you know, everything is standard. So, you know, like you talked about, you're like, I'm the same height as some of these kids. Kids, you know, they're all coming in at different sizes, and all the desks are standard size. So there might be a lot of layers there as to why the kid is struggling. And so I love that. I love that you had her do that so that she could actually feel that this is very challenging.
- [46:23]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah, no, there was a big change in her after that. And I was, you know, we became much closer after that. She's like, all right, help me understand this one. Help me understand this one. And I actually had another teacher in the classroom next door. She's like, all right. She went to Home Depot. She had a kindergarten class, and she got like 15 buckets, like home Depot buckets. And then she filled them with sand and she put them on the floor, lowered a table down, and then she hand sewed little cushions to go on top so that the kids could now sit on these Home Depot stools with cushions and an appropriate sized table. And she's like, all of a sudden I have their attention and they can, you know, sit down and do book club with me in writing. And I was like, and. And Home Depot buckets. And it, you know, changed her whole year.
- [47:06]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah, yeah, all those little things matter. You wrote, rather than demanding stillness as a prerequisite for learning, we should view it as a skill that develops over time, much like reading or math. You talk about 1000 hours outside in the book, which was super fun. Actually came up in two spots, page 244 and page 137. But you also talked about the, you know, the fact that sometimes teachers don't want to take their kids outside because of the other teachers. Like, what are the other teachers going to say? And there is a lot of pressure to conform in schools. I felt that because you don't want to really stand out because, you know, because it's often a union job. It's a tricky situation. But you talk about that. You talk about this word imaginosity. So people can find that in the book. You talk a lot about nurturing environments. There was this really cool idea about, you know, having a handle with care, little sticker or note if a child's having a bad day. You know, you can communicate that with a teacher and sort of an. Like an under. Under the surface type way so you don't have to tell everybody. You talk about the principal showing up for your own son. I mean, there is just so much you packed into this book. You talk about interoception. You talk about gardening. I mean, it's just one thing after the next. And then those printables in the middle that you could use to. To copy or just to have as a quick reference are just absolutely phenomenal to just so many ideas. Like if you want to have ideas about movement and have enhanced learning learning. If you want to have ideas to calm the nervous system, it's just list after list after list. So it's a phenomenal book. It's called Kid Magic Unlocked A Grown Up. A Grown Up's Guide for Reimagining Education to. To cultivate the limitless potential of every child. Can you tell people where they can find you? Because you also do have curriculum.
- [48:46]
Dr. Crystal Miller
So the book is on Amazon, but I do have a web, a website. It's how to be a kid dot com. And you could find out such a fun website.
- [48:56]
Jeanne Eric
Like when you came up with it and you realized it was available, you were. You were like, this is the coolest thing ever.
- [49:01]
Dr. Crystal Miller
How to be. Oh my gosh. When I saw that it was available, I was pumped. The whole name came from, like, I felt myself Explaining over and over again. I'm like, but this is not how kids are. This is not. You need to understand how to be a kid. And I kept saying it over and over again. I was like, that's it. That's my company. It's how to be a kid. I need to reteach people what it means to be like a kid.
- [49:19]
Jeanne Eric
Yeah, yeah. What it's like to sit in this desk where you can't touch the floor and all of these different things. There's. There's a very, I think, large lack of empathy toward the life of a child who's stuck in a desk or stuck, you know, stuck indoors and doesn't get to move and play and all that. People can find you there. I'll make sure. I'll put that link in the show notes. This has been such a treat, Crystal. I loved it. I love the book Childhood as it is at risk. But you give all of these ideas and tips and really just motivation, too, to make some changes. We always end our show with the same question. What's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside.
- [49:55]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Gosh. I. So I am a street lights kid, so I was outside a lot. But I would say one of the biggest things that probably shaped my childhood is we had these woods behind our house, and we used to believe that they were enchanted. So we believed that there was an enchanted forest behind our house. And so if you walk in the woods, you'd walk from my backyard, and there would be this clearing. And if you look to the left, there was a tree far down that looked like an evil hand. That was the evil side. We didn't go there. And anytime we went there, like, not cool things happened. And then if you look the other way, there was this beautiful shaped tree that we said was the good hand. And so we'd always play down there. And we found these magical white flowers. And if you walked a little bit, there was like a hump of sand that was shaped like a horse's head. And if you followed that path, you'd get to the horses that were thrown the other side of the. So we. These woods were truly, we believed, enchanted just for us. Like, the horse trail would bring us to play with the horses and the chickens on the other side. And me and my siblings and my best friends would always be in the woods. They were our woods, our enchanted woods. But yeah, so that is. That shaped a lot of my young childhood memories for sure.
- [51:01]
Jeanne Eric
What creativity. That's a big thing you talk about in the back book, too, is a creativity you love. Like the Sir Ken Robinson where he talked about creativity. All kids have tremendous talents, he said, and we squander them quite ruthlessly. That is, what a, what a world. What a fascinating world. And you think like, there's a lot of kids that don't get to do that, or they only get to do it through screens, you know, through someone else's imagination.
- [51:22]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Yeah, I think, I think that we don't realize what potential our kids carry. They, they carry such magic in them. And, and when we allow that to come out and when we empower that, it's, it's just such a beautiful thing. And I, I mean, listen, I am, I am so honored to be here with you. I've been, I am so excited just to talk to you as a true champion of childhood yourself. It's just, it's nice to find like minded people because it's going to take a lot of us to, you know, change the world.
- [51:49]
Ethos Life Insurance Narrator
It's true. It's true.
- [51:50]
Jeanne Eric
Thank you so much. The book is wonderful. People can go to how to be a kid.com to learn more. Thanks for spending this time with us, Crystal.
- [51:58]
Dr. Crystal Miller
Thank you.
- [52:03]
Christopher Fitton
Do you find it hard to sleep at night? Then the Sleep Cove podcast can help you. Hi, I'm Christopher Fitton, the voice and clinical hypnotherapist behind Sleep Cove. Sleep Cove features sleep hypnosis, meditations and bedtime stories, all designed to help those of you who struggle at night to achieve a restful and peaceful night's sleep. Search for Sleep Cove on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and see why. Sleep Cove helps millions of people sleep deeply all night long.