← The Audiobook Club with John York
The Audiobook Club with John York
Mairsyy | Quinn Creator, Content Creator & DJ
00:52:24
Finding Voice Acting, Work/Life Balance & Content Creation
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Transcript83 lines
- [00:00]
John
Foreign. Hello and welcome to the Audiobook Club. In this week's episode, we're so lucky to be joined by Queen creator and content creator Merzy. Hello, mate. Thank you so much for joining me on the show. How are you today?
- [00:25]
Merzy
Hey, John. I'm all good, thank you. How are you? Thanks for having me.
- [00:28]
John
Oh, no, it's a pleasure. I'm doing all right. All the better for having you on the other side of Zoom. So, as is tradition on the show, I'd really like to start by getting to know a little bit more about how you found yourself in the world of social media content creation. And of course, Quinn.
- [00:48]
Merzy
Oh yeah, yeah, it's been a. It's been a ride, that's for sure. But yeah, social media wise, I was always the. The annoying kid on Facebook that was just post random statuses about his dinner and stuff that you don't need to know about. And I just would just use like a base to vent and a bit of a journal really. So I was, yeah, I used quite active on platforms like Bebo and then Facebook and then when Instagram come along, but never had like a following or anything like that. I just used to annoy the kids from school. But I always enjoyed it. I always found it quite a fascinating place just to kind of like, I don't know, market yourself and share things and create things that you liked. It was, it was an interesting place. And yeah, as kind of just experimented with different platforms and trying new types of content. Never really, as I say, took off. I tried different aliases and, and things, but it wasn't until I really, I started making tik toks maybe 2 years ago as a bit of a laugh because it was more of a platform that suited my kind of style of content I liked where I could be a bit silly and use sounds and stitch other people's content. And that's kind of where the audio erotica chapter weirdly started. Okay, yeah. Book Talk, Book talk were able to grab me thanks to the algorithm.
- [02:24]
John
So essentially. So when you're. Because obviously when you're creating content for social media, you take in like an aspect you're sort of. When you're coming up with that content ideas, I'm guessing you sort of take in like things that happen in your life or little stories and stuff and then look at finding an angle of how you can create content from that like piece of real life or piece of that idea. So that when you mentioned like, you know, starting off on Bebo and Facebook and all that sort of stuff, have you sort of always kind of looked at your life like that, like, how can I make a story out of this? How can I make a fun idea out of this and all that sort of stuff. Is that always just kind of been a thing that you've enjoyed?
- [02:58]
Merzy
Yeah, absolutely. I think I've always enjoyed and it's even been part of my job and it's even my job now. But I've always been a bit of a storyteller. I've always enjoyed being like, just like. Yeah. Trying to angle even something. I think that's kind of how I feel. Like I've developed kind of. And been able to get opportunities is like. I haven't necessarily been through anything that's different to other people, but I've been able to present it in a way that's a bit. Maybe a bit more. Yeah. Appealing or it stands out, like, I think the ability to storytell. So. Yeah, probably. Yeah. From a young age, like just being able to angle stuff and just being transparent. I think it's been such a fun benefit. But like you say, mainly I. It's more of like the silly stuff that I was doing and starting and it's just. Yeah. It's a bit of a full circle and.
- [03:48]
John
Yeah.
- [03:49]
Merzy
Very fascinating how the world works like that.
- [03:51]
John
Yeah. So when. So was it like other people, like in the comments or all things like that was telling you, oh, you should really consider voice acting. Was that, like, how that came about or did. Was it something that you had sort of in the toolbox ahead of content creation?
- [04:07]
Merzy
Yeah, it's a good, Good question because I. I've kind of been unpacking this as I've. I've been looking back to be like, well, how have we. How have we got here? But so I. I had like. I've got like, no professional experience. I've done no, like, no narration or acting or like. Or things like that. The. The kind of tools that I had was from a young age I would always do, like, impressions and like, mimicry stuff and like, try different voices from like, comedians and TV programs I liked, but, like, nothing extensive, which I think a lot of people do. And then I. I've got a B in GCSE drama. I was quite a drama kid in school, but I was also very sporty.
- [04:46]
John
Yeah.
- [04:46]
Merzy
And basically I had this, like, fork in the road when I got to my A levels where it was like, do I pursue sport or do I pursue forming arts? Yeah, it was actually a really hard decision, but I went down the sport route and it's weird that it's kind of come back. I'm very fortunate that that kind of second chance is such a full circle to give it a go. But. And then from like the creative side of things, I, I've never really done any. Until Booktop came along, I had. Hadn't read much fiction books at all. So the creative writing stuff has been new to me. But I again, I've got kind of relatively strong GCSes in, in English, so that kind of again helped. So I think it's just, it's a very weird combination of everything that's kind of formulated into like where I am now with like social media. The voices. I never in a million years when I kind of have been mucking around with friends doing accents and kind of like making like little sketches. I think that like, that would be a benefit or a job for me. Like, like, you know, walking around the house doing silly voices and like annoying ex girlfriends and stuff. Now it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [06:04]
John
So when you said, you said you went down the sports route like after education, was am I right in saying that's like jiu jitsu and cage fighting and stuff?
- [06:12]
Merzy
Yeah. So I, in, in secondary school, yeah, I was very much into like kickboxing, boxing, like mixed martial arts and jiu jitsu and I pursued mixed martial arts. I really wanted to be a professional MA fighter and I went to uni and I was a sports scholar in MMA and jiu jitsu and I was kind of semi pro. Like it would technically be like amateur, but semi pro because it's like you kind of got paid and stuff, like a little bit. And I, I pursued that and it just wasn't really working out for me. Even though I was kind of training really hard. Like I just had a few like, mental issues going on and it didn't work out the way I tried dreamed of. But I still was able to experience it as a chapter and had an amazing time and made lots of friends and you know, once in a lifetime experiences. But yeah, yeah, I was always athletic and sporty as a kid. Like, I played football from the age of like 4 to like 16, played a bit of rugby. Just always enjoyed my sports. But I always kind of in anything I did always kind of had a bit of a creative, a desire, a bit more of a desire for creativity.
- [07:23]
John
It's a really interesting journey as well because like, def. I mean, I think I've interviewed so many voice actors and the writers and storytellers on this podcast. I don't. I think you're the first Cage Fighter. So it's a really cool crossover and all the experiences that you will have had through that, and I'm sure that you will find out this creatively from those experiences, whether it's character types or, you know, direct storylines and stuff, which is, you know, it's a great thing to have.
- [07:51]
Merzy
Yeah, definitely. So it's very, the way, the one, the most important thing for me was it was very humbling because, you know, to, to lose MMA fights in front of like, hundreds of people and your family and friends and kind of your ego take a bashing. It kind of like, helped me apply that, like, made me in any journey I go into now, I just try and appreciate the present and just like, you know, know that you can, there's always time where you're probably gonna, you can fall and things don't work out the way you always think or hope to, no matter, like your, your work effort and just how you kind of tackle that and dust yourself off and just go again and try again and be persistent and things like that. So, yeah, there's so many valuable lessons in it and, yeah, definitely stuff I take forward with me every day. I, I mean, I haven't, I've. My last MMA fight was like, seven, eight years ago, but I still do jiu jitsu now as a bit of, like, therapy and fitness and health. But yeah, I'd very much prefer writing and building characters than get my face caved in.
- [08:58]
John
Yeah, me too. So when all this, when Quinn came about, when you were given, you know, this whole opportunity, doors of opportunity opened up and you were faced with, you know, know, making audios, you, you know, faced with the task of writing, recording, producing things and putting it out into the world kind of. What was your initial reaction to that? Was it like, you know, excitement? Was it there a little bit of nerves in there? Could you talk us through, like, where you were at at that, like, you know, right real at the start of this, you know, crazy journey.
- [09:30]
Merzy
Yeah, so it was all very surreal because I, I, I kind of, as you say, as you, as we kind of briefly discussed, like, when the engagement is a different level in terms of, it wasn't what I was kind of used to, but there was, it was just nice to see there was clear interest from both Quinn and the, the audience. And at the time, you know, Quinn reached out to me when I was very early in Tick Tock and I was very new to, I didn't know what audio erotica was. And I initially was just like, I don't think this is for me. I was very like at that time in my life as well. I was very like in like going through a lot of inner healing with my kind of self esteem and confidence issues and just like trying to figure out life. And at the time I just didn't feel like it was for me. And then a couple of months passed and I actually, I joined another app where I kind of again, it was all very new. I built a little bit of experience, but not lows, but it was still great opportunity and exposure and kind of. And like I under. I started to understand audio erotica and audiences and stuff. And then a few more months after that is when kind of been reached out again and I was kind of in a bit of a better place in myself and I built a bit of an experience and a little bit of, you know, a bit of a little bit of a reputation but not like nothing like some of the other. The big dogs we, you know. But it was nice to. To. It was just a nice feeling to be like wanted and like people valued what like the work I was doing and kind of saw my potential. So that's when it was like a real excitement and like, okay, like everything really is aligning the way I want it to. And although it. It was a. It's been a bit of a. An up and down strange journey. Like that's how I've always kind of. Life's always kind of felt a bit like that for me. So I was just like, go grab this with both hands. And I'm very. From those past experiences. I'm very like an ambitious and driven person. I want to do well in anything I do.
- [11:48]
John
Yeah.
- [11:49]
Merzy
And I feel like this was the opportunity to kind of do that and kind of I was in the right headspace to kind of come in and just try my best. And yeah, it's been. It's been absolutely wild. I'm very grateful for it. Very, very grateful for it. It's yeah, an amazing platform. The community are just wonderful. So it's.
- [12:11]
John
Yeah. Was there any. Because of like, not necessarily, you know, going towards audio erotica without necessarily like, you know, years and years and years of doing like other voice stuff. Was there like kind of that sort of conversation that you had to have with yourself? Oh, no. This is like super spicy. This is really intimate. This is like, you know, about as personal as you can sort of get of like portraying yourself. And obviously there's so many people who listen to it. Was that like, was that ever like a conversation in your head? Of like, I've really better think about whether I'm like, you know, whether this is the sort of right path or were you just like, oh no, this is great, let's do it.
- [12:52]
Merzy
No. Yeah. So that was why I was hesitant initially. Yeah. Because I was. I just. I just didn't feel. Because it was the first I'd ever been exposed to it. Like when I first listened to some, I was like, I can't envision myself doing that. But. And, but then I guess it's the same with anything once you kind of expose the stuff a bit more and you. And you try and like. I remember, yeah. The first few audios of Spice Audio article I ever did, I was like, oh, this is taken. This is. This is different. And then, yeah, like. And then after a while you just kind of build confidence. And I think what really helped me was just seeing the impact it had on. On others that really kind of helped me shelf the. The ego and the kind of a slight discomfort at the start because it was like, this is really benefit. Fitting and like making an impact, a positive impact on lots of people. So like you gotta kind of push, like push through this a bit of discomfort and you know, that judgment of are people going to take the piss? And like, are people going to mock you? Like, that was a huge one as well. But then as you, as I say, do more and you see the impact and you kind of find more and more successfully, you go, I don't give a shit what other people think. Like, I really, really enjoy it now. Like. Which again was a bit of a nice pleasant surprise because it's just like. Yeah, it's just so many creative outlets combined that kind of help. And it's just. You can add your own personal touches to stuff, as I'm sure you.
- [14:22]
John
Yeah.
- [14:22]
Merzy
Was it. Was it same for you? Was it like just a. Because I guess with your audiobooks you might have done some spicy stuff before. But like, how did you find it?
- [14:31]
John
Yeah, very similar really. So there was. I was like. I think I was. I was asked to do Quinn because of like doing spicy audience. But it's. I mean, you're playing a character, you know, quite often it's like, I do a lot of like American accent stuff, so it's like I was in. It wasn't even like close to me.
- [14:47]
Merzy
And.
- [14:47]
John
And then this like being asked to be. Be you and be like, you know, as authentic and. And that was like a learning curve that I had of trying to strip back that performance style of it, you know, just Trying to be more authentic. And I think, you know, it has taken me a few audios to the point, you know, right at the start where I was like, okay, no, I really need to strip back and be more of myself. But then I think that's an, a self acceptance journey that I'm definitely still on if like that's okay because you know, you think, oh well, I'm not, you know, I am, I'm not as charming as Tom or I don't have like, you know, all of that sort of st stuff that's going on and you, and you sort of. It's that journey of going through your head going, actually no, it's okay. Just be me and, and offer like the real thing. So that was like the journey, I suppose.
- [15:29]
Merzy
Absolutely. Yeah. Such a hot. I completely agree. And you're killing it, man. And seeing the, it's really nice to see you. Like everyone's got their own kind of communities building as well and like within the app and yeah, like you definitely. I definitely see the, the loyal fan base of yours growing as well. And yeah, we're well, we're well looked after, aren't we?
- [15:49]
John
Oh, it's amazing. Well, this is so you mentioned about like how the support of that community, the support of the community, I should say many of, of whom I'm sure are going to be listening to this episode kind of allowed you to, to sort of be, you know, be confident and enjoy it properly because you saw like how much people were loving it and things like have you known like any like much have you known a more supportive community than like the comment section on Quinn or like you know, the ones that follow you on TikTok. It's like on another level because we.
- [16:19]
Merzy
Are considered like you know, favorite creators or in, in some way or we, we offer people like peace and like self love and things like that. It's been so funny with things like I will have someone on a tick tock comment something maybe a little bit critical and it's not even like horrifically critical but they'll maybe like give me a little bit of a dig and within five minutes I've got seven loyal fan base jumping in to protect me before I've even had to say anything just to try and like yeah, protect my, my confidence or, or whatever and just like it's just. But it's, it's, you can tell as well. It's like, it's like sincere as well and you know, it just. I've never ever experienced anything like it. As I say I've. I've had some because of my main content creation has always been around like mental health awareness for the last kind of 10 years or so. But like, I'll get lots of kind of like every now and again I'll get a nice DM where people are like, thank you so much. Your, Your content's like really valuable and it's helped me through a lot. But some of the in depth kind of impact that people share about how like one audio has affected their, their life or their relationship and like knowing that like you've like had that much of a positive impact on you that they're gonna like have that level of loyalty and support is, Is just like, it's wonderful. It's. It's just like wow, like. And yeah, the passion. The passion is one thing I've learned is the high energy passion. And yeah, yeah, you know, if you're listening, I love you all.
- [18:07]
John
So in terms of, you know, having to do weekly audios, you constantly have to be, you know, thinking ideas through and, and piecing bits and pieces together. What does your pre production, your writing stage, what's your writing process kind of look like at the moment?
- [18:23]
Merzy
Yeah, so it's, it's kind of a bit scattered and you kind of learn as you go as you know. But yeah, I used to initially start with like full. As much of a full script as I could, but it kind of, I don't know, I think because of my like kind of the way my like my mental health and my neurotypical like neurodivergence. Sorry like stuff it didn't. It was kind of hard just to stay in like a lane sometimes with, with scripts and I'd kind of like. So I just found that like right in a bit of a, a skeleton I'll have the core idea, core characters, the kind of core trope and the direction and then I'll have like the key skeleton, maybe like four or five key points and then I'll kind of some. A lot of the time I kind of just. I'll free flow a bit once I have a direction, but I will. What I would typically need now is I'll. I will need maybe like the first five minutes of the script written, which is not typically the spicy stuff that's kind of a bit more of a flow. But the core concept and then first initial engagement I'll have written and then I kind of will see how comfortable I am whilst I'm in the booth recording and see how I feel a lot of the time. And Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I've definitely. I really like. I don't know if you're the same. I read every single comment on, on the platform and like take feedback and people will DM me and be very honest. I've had lots of wonderful DMs. And what I love about as I say with the loyalty of. Of kind of the listeners is I've had people DM me being like what the was that? And you go, they're like what was that? That wasn't you. You could tell you wasn't into that and stuff. And you go wow. Like they really are invested and you know, you kind of have to take that on board and, and stuff like that.
- [20:21]
John
So is it difficult to sort of separate that because with the intimacy of what. Of what these audios are, is it difficult to sort of separate that professional side of you to the personal side of you? Because like, you know, if that idea of you know, when, when people comment on Tick Tock you might be able to go okay, no, that's my. That's the online me. That's not, that's not really me. But then. And I suppose it's kind of similar on Quinn because you have a you're Persona and then you have the real you. But is it quite difficult to separate that? When people say I didn't like this aspect of you and you're. They're sort of thinking well that's kind of. That was me like, you know.
- [21:00]
Merzy
Yeah, it's. Yeah, it can be very. I'm very like I'm self critical anyway. So like I definitely. And my, my kind of online personal brand over the last like 10 years as I say has been more. It's very transparent. It's very much like what you see is what you get and when. When people are like critique. Luckily this one was from a nice place. It was actually. It was a nice message. I think it was just a person's sense of humor and, and whatever. So it wasn't like I took mad offense to it but it was just like it, it proved to me that like one comment will make you like because I'm an overthinker, like it will just spiral me. And I remember I had one that did irk me where and it like. And I remember I was quite. I read so on the. This is like to kind of show how much our mind like the mind can be crazy is. It was an audio and I had. I think there was 75 comments, 74 were positive and this was one negative and it destroyed me for about two weeks. It just got in my head.
- [22:16]
John
Yeah.
- [22:16]
Merzy
And you know, even though it's, you know, it's. I didn't take, I try not to take it too personally, but it was when people were like, she, like, the person said like, oh, he's given a very like, selfish vibe. And I actively like, try my, like, I believe that like, my stuff isn't that selfish at all. Maybe it was just that audio in particular and it might have been the first one they listened to. There's so many factors. But I was like, wow. Like really like killed me because I was like, if, like, I really make an effort in what I write to make sure that it's not selfish and the fact that it's still being perceived as selfish, it maybe just like, it maybe go in and be like, is it like, is there is a truth to this? You know, again, you just, you learn that everything is super subjective. Like, yeah, even with like tick tock when I voice. Do voice renditions of people's favorite characters and they're like, no, I don't. That doesn't, that's not what he sounds like. You've got to be like subjective though. So I understand. Like, you don't take it too personally. Like, yeah, that boundary of, of kind of personal and professional is, is a very interesting one. But luckily over the last kind of, I'd say two months and since I've been talking with other creators and how they manage it, like, I've learned a lot and kind of that separation is really important for, for all of our mental health. And I think what I love as well is like the, the audience respect that. Yeah, they, they understand that A lot of us do read every single comment and we really do appreciate them and we, we value them and you know, it's, it's important that we kind of set boundaries for ourselves to protect it. So.
- [23:59]
John
Yeah, absolutely. With your, with, you know, so much of your job being online and 24 hours a day, people can get in touch with you and tell you thoughts and all that sort of stuff. With you having to think of weekly audios and write and all of the production that comes with that, with everything else that you've got going on and it's not like a 9 to 5, it's all the time. How do you sort of balance that, you know, is. Have you got a work life balance at the moment? Like what, what are there any steps that you take to just try and give yourself a little bit of time that's away from Sort of like a public Persona, if you will.
- [24:35]
Merzy
Yeah, it's a really good question. Really hard. Since I've gone like kind of full time with all this, it's been like it's kind of two sides of the coin because I enjoy everything that I do. It doesn't feel like a job. So I don't feel like stress like I used to in my other jobs. I don't feel, I still feel pressure because I want to perform, but like I don't feel like the, the type of stress that I was in and like the avoidant kind of traits that I had where I'd, you know, kind of switch off and dissociate and stuff and want to get away. So I don't feel like I'm. I don't, sometimes I don't feel like I need to. But then you burn out because you don't realize as you say, you're always on and you're always thinking about, you're always posting something. Like I do. I've got the, the one Quinn Audio a week. I do two podcasts a week on my Patreon. I do DJ stuff. I do my mental health public speaking. I make the tick tock and Instagram content like, and then like all that whilst trying to maintain a social life and train and focus on your fitness and you know, dating. It's just, yeah, it's. You're spinning so many plates and it's just not sustainable. So like, yeah, some of those plates I don't, don't get as much attention as, as others. But I'm definitely learning to the importance of switching. That's why this weekend and going and spending time with my friends in the mountains was beautiful. But I need to kind of build better habits with maybe like certain times off my phone, like. So for example, this afternoon I might just go sit in the park and read a book and in the sun and try and stay away from my phone for most of the day. Then maybe later in the evening once, you know, things kind of content comes out, maybe, but it's, it's still something I'm learning. I've always been bad at it, always on my phone. Like it's not healthy. But it's hard because especially as I'm sure you experience it as well with a lot of a us audience, you want to be engaging at peak times with them. So that's often later in the evening. So. Yeah, but I've always been a bit of a night owl. So I go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning. Every night I have done since I was a teenager so that's usually a bit more of my downtime but it can definitely cheer you up. I've definitely burn out a couple of times this year already and it's just like I need to be a bit bit more savvy and learn from the mistakes.
- [27:09]
John
Yeah. Have you. Have you implemented like a work routine in terms of creating content instead of creating your. Your podcast? So what does like a typical so say like on a day on a Quinn recording day. What's like a typical day in the life kind of look like at the moment?
- [27:25]
Merzy
Yeah so like start of the week. So a Monday is typically like the my Quinn recording because again I'm quite limited where. Where I'm I mean I live in a house share in South London and it's quite busy area and I'm right by a train line and I live above a restaurant and there's a lot of. A lot of noise pollution. So I'm actually limited to recording for book when where I'm kind of like in this where I really have to be in the zone one day a week. I can do other days but it just requires a bit more editing and a bit more kind of faff with with noise pollution and stuff. But yeah so I will typically Mondays is my Quinn recording day and then Tuesday's Quinn release day. So I do dedicate my Tuesday evenings a lot of time to promoting it and resharing and engaging and just seeing the overall reaction. Wednesdays is when I record one of my other podcasts. My podcast on Patreon Thursday and Friday is a bit more of like my bit more of a weekend feel for me like that be more like life admin. I still do other small projects a lot of writing in that in those kind of days I try and a bit of switch off. Saturday can be anything. It can be typically either DJ stuff or again more like social media stuff like a big tick tock day or something or networking. And then Sunday is when I do my second podcast the week for Patreon and maybe some finalizing some writing for the upcoming the audio of the week. So yeah there's, there's, there's lots like without that I've got a whiteboard just to my right actually because for the first kind of two, three months of going full time and being so used to office structure and as I say being neurodivergent like it's very easy for me to get distracted and not stick to routine and I, I kind of typically have always Struggled with routine. So I've got it written on my whiteboard what I need to do each week and like the amount of content to post and stuff. And like, it's not looking at it now, it's not concrete, but like there's still four of the days where it's like, that is the gospel. Like you can't miss these days. Like that is what you have to kind of time things around. And that's really helped me. There's like enough structure and enough flexibility that works for me and how I work, which is perf.
- [30:04]
John
Yeah, yeah. I suppose that's like one of the benefits, being able to control your now is you're able to move things around as you sort of see fit. And then I think having enough routine to avoid like, oh, I saw this, I'm just gonna go do, you know, do nothing, you know, to keep you at least being productive. But it sounds like a really diverse, like really creative week that you've got going on. I mean, that must, I mean, also doing lots. I mean, like, not everything that you do, nothing's like kind of the same. So you've got like your DJ stuff, you've got your mental health talks, like your keynote that I know we spoke about previously, and then you're like recording a quid and then it's like, it's so, it's, you know, it's really, it's really interesting to hear, like how different all of those things are.
- [30:49]
Merzy
Yeah, it's been, it's been strong. But I've always, I've always be like, it's good for me because I, without that I would always drift and to start new things. But I'm like, with this, I'm. I'm kind of constantly, always stimulated and there's always something for me to drive towards and like be ambitious with. And as I say, there's some weeks where, yeah, like the, the DJ stuff will take a hit and it'll go very quiet and I won't maybe as much engagement in that. But then I'll have a lot more effort and focus on like, I don't know, Patreon or what. I don't know how. Yeah, it's. It's just nice to have different things to focus on. And I, I kind of, I've always been a bit of a no stone, unturned person. I. Once I want to do something, I'll give it a go and once I enjoy it, I will stick. But there's some things that I've tried that don't stick. And luckily for me now and the routine I have, and as I say, it just doesn't feel like a job. I just love everything I do and the freedom, I think for me, the freedom and the stability of where I'm at now has been the most beneficial for everything in my life and my mental health and just general well being and as I say, just really, really grateful that that's the position I'm in.
- [32:05]
John
Yeah. So you are so open and honest and fantastic on social media about, you know, your mental health challenges and struggles and resilience and everything that comes with that. And I. Do you think that maybe an aspect of why you're so popular, you know, with your fan base and building that community, is because you're presenting your authentic, real self? Because, you know, and that resonates so much with people because I think we see so much, you know, so many from accounts that are so painted and you know, that sort of like fake life and everything sort of perfect stuff on social media that we're all really familiar with. Boris, as through your content, it's like I know a lot of people in, myself included, feel that, you know, we're connecting with you so much more like through you being authentic. Was that like, you know, was that a decision that you made or was that just that, look, I'm me and I'm going to talk about this because that's, you know.
- [33:00]
Merzy
Yeah, no, thank you. Thank you, man. Yeah, no, it was always, always something I wanted to do. I always believed that. I said, been on social media for a few years as like a consumer and like a fan and like of other creators and stuff. And I just, yeah, I just always felt like that just looks too. I'd rather just be honest and especially with like the mental health stuff and talking about it from a young age, I just knew I kind of had an idea of like the impact it would have on the bigger picture. I just feel like it's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's, it's not what you see. I just wanted to, I wanted that approach. Just like what you see is what you get. Like, yeah, I'm having a, a day or this, this is what I've been through. And I think, yeah, it definitely has like benefited me, I guess. But like, I think it's just like a very, it's a weird way to say when you look back at like challenging times and trauma and stuff, but that, that, that exposure and the different experiences I've been through, I, I'm very, I just know that there's at least something that someone will resonate with. And I have people from all walks of life reach out to me with, like, I've been through that, especially after the talk I did last week, and it was just like, wow, this is really surreal. And, yeah, I just feel like I want to, I just want to be that person. Like, I want to kind of just be real. And, you know, I, I. That vulnerability, I don't know how to describe it, but, like, initially you think like, oh, people are gonna take advantage or mock you, but it's like, if they do, that's a, That's a. Sorry for swearing. That's a reflection of themselves. That's not a reflection on me. And, you know, I just got to stick true to, to me. And just like, as I say, I think what, where it can get a bit sticky is where people, I don't know, I don't want to give the impression that, like, everything, like, I think especially with, like, the, the Quinn stuff is like, people think like, oh, I can't do wrong. And like, I'm, like a bit of an angel. And it's like, no, I'm not. Like, I'm not a perfect human. Like, I'm not, like, although I can come across on social media, I do share my struggles, but they don't. You don't necessarily see, like, the grumpy me or the, the, you know, the, the work with the bipolar. You don't see the, the snappy, short, maybe slightly aggressive me. I won't, I won't typically share that stuff. I'll talk about it very openly, but it's a very different thing to kind of read and see on social media and then being in the presence of that. And so, yeah, that's where it can kind of be a bit sticky. And I, I will still always be very open about, like, how I'm not, It's not, it's not perfect. And like, just because you talk about your feelings doesn't mean that you're always necessarily like, the. An angel, a good person. And there's definitely situations in life where you kind of aren't. And, you know, you have to learn from it. Like I say, I've spoken about before old relationships and things, and yeah, it's, it's all learning. And I think that's where, that's the bit I like to share, is that you learn from the mistakes you take. I think the biggest thing for me is taking accountability. And that's where I think I've reaped the most reward from is. I don't.
- [36:27]
John
Yeah.
- [36:28]
Merzy
I don't like to make excuses and point fingers and that's, I think, been a big part of, like, the success over the last couple of years as I've grown and worked on my work to myself and my healing and my trauma. So it's a very.
- [36:43]
John
Yeah, and I think it's also. It's incredibly rewarding for your, like, your viewers as well. Like. Like from my point of view, when watching a lot of your stuff, it's like, you know, like, things are going all right, you know, career wise and stuff. I'm booking gigs and everything's great, but then a lot of the time I'll wake up and I'll just be in, like a proper arse and not. And just. Just not content with things or just not. Just don't even know if there's a reason why. Just that you're suffering with. With just not feeling like I'm worthy of it or just. No, not just wanting to sack everything off and just go sit in some woods somewhere. And I think, you know, engaging in content where people are being honest and authentic and you kind of think, oh, there isn't actually anything wrong with me. Everyone's going through this or most of us anyway.
- [37:28]
Merzy
Yeah.
- [37:28]
John
And I think that is incredibly helpful, to say the least, you know, so. Yeah, I mean, as a. Yeah, so I think you're doing a great.
- [37:37]
Merzy
Yeah, and I'm glad. And it's. It's really nice to. That. It has that. That kind of. That impact. And I say everyone, Everyone goes through it. And as I say, that's what kind of what we picked up on earlier. As I say, my. My storytelling and, like, my ability and the confidence in myself doing that. I've been kind of building that ability to share those kind of things over quite a long period of time. But as I say, as we said earlier, I haven't necessarily been through anything worse than other people. It's just maybe I've just got the. As I say, I've built the confidence to be able to talk about it and that's my kind of, like, superpower in a way that I can. I have. I can do that and I can start paving the way for other people to do that. And as I say, I'm glad that people don't feel alone. And there's, There's. There's always something to resonate with, which is nice, which I'm glad.
- [38:26]
John
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So I was talking to our mutual mate Tom York last week and we touched upon a topic That I thought was super interesting, actually. I hadn't actually thought about it before our conversation, before we brought it up, but it's about how creating content on Quinn has had, you know, may have had a positive impact on other aspects of our lives as creators. So have you noticed anything like, you know, anything similar for that? Any sort of impact? Hopefully? Positive for what? Recording on Quinn for, you know, the months and months and months that you've been doing. Is it almost a year now or is it a year?
- [39:05]
Merzy
Six. Six months. Seven months. Six months, yeah.
- [39:07]
John
Seven months. So like, have you noticed. God, you've achieved so like, loads of that. Yeah. So after recording for like seven months, have you noticed anything, any impacts on other parts of your life from that? You know, exploring inner thoughts and desires and all those sort of things on a weekly basis, have you noticed anything transfer into other aspects?
- [39:30]
Merzy
Are you talking spicy stuff? Not necessarily.
- [39:33]
John
I mean, you can go with that if you. I think. I can't remember we were talking about last week and I can't. I can't for the life of me remember what I actually said was my sort of thing. But I think it's the idea of like being more open with your. With your emotions and that kind of, you know. You know, I don't know.
- [39:52]
Merzy
Yeah, so I've. I've actually learned so much about like the, the kind of female gaze and like, about the like how. I mean, I've always heard of a pretty, I would say a pretty healthy relationship with, with women and, and kind of, and things like that, but I just feel like I've again, because of the, the level of engagement as well. I've just learned so much like healthier. I don't know what the word would be. It's like my, my. My audios, they kind of, they're very, they're very kind where they share that my audios and things make them feel safe. But the reason that my audios, I think, like resonate is because of what I'm learning from, from them and the audience and like learning from, you know, my own mistakes as a man and other men mistakes and kind of situations that women have been through and, you know, relationship dynamics and things. And it's just been like I kind of. I would never. I feel like when I was younger I was kind of quite a romantic. But you know, you get your heart smashed a few times and you kind of become a little bit like cold and bitter and a bit more distant. But yeah, especially like with, with Quinn and kind of like starting to read like like the fantasy stuff, I. I just kind of understand the bigger picture and the perspective of. Of women more. And it's. It's crazy how. I don't know how to describe it. It's quite. I'll kind of. It's like unearthed stuff like the things that I knew when I was younger, but you kind of unpack your own experiences and trauma from it and like how like, oh, this shaped me. Like, this shaped me this way. And like, oh, the. There's things I said to. To this girl and this response means this and like, yeah, you kind of just like, it's very educational for. It has been especially the early on, like, for. For me. And then now it's just like making. Taking comfort in that and like taking comfort and that. You know, for me, I've always been a very sensitive and emotional guy. I'm a Pisces. But they like you. You kind of. I've learned through the storytelling and through the engagement. Like, it's. It's absolutely fine for me to be that and it's. And people actually really appreciate that. And yeah, you can take confidence in that. So I've become like, a bit more confident in myself in terms of like, relationships and. And things. Like, still a lot to learn. But yeah, overall it's just very like, educational. And I've always hated the very much like, male versus female dynamic. And I. I kind of like with my writing to try and bring a bit of harmony and just demonstrate that like, men can play this role and women can play this role. Whatever way it can flow, it can flow. And it's just all about like the kind of unity and the connection and stuff. And yeah, it obviously depends on each audio. But yeah, overall, just very educational and as I say, always a lot for me to learn. But yeah, it's been. It's been great.
- [43:19]
John
Yeah, I love the answer. It's really interesting to hear that and I certainly resonate with. With a lot of that. It's. It's an interesting one because I think, you know, you sort of start out at this gig as a performer, go, right, okay, let's try and knock some socks off some people. And then you end up like learning loads back and you know, it becomes like a bit of an avenue of self discovery, which is in my, you know, for me was very much needed, I think. So to finish us off, I have a few broader question to help our audience get to know a little bit more about you. Is that. Is that all right?
- [43:58]
Merzy
Absolutely fine.
- [44:00]
John
So the first one is what is a challenge that you're currently facing.
- [44:11]
Merzy
In general? I think, I think balance. Yeah, I think I just need to. I'm not prioritizing my, my health. Well, no, I'm not. No. Basically I, I. Because I've been so busy and fixated on work and growth and success. Like I've been dropping a few other things. I haven't really been training much Jiu Jitsu lately and just kind of distracting myself. So yeah, I would like to. I've been going to the gym and I've still been going on runs and stuff. But yeah, I need to kind of incorporate Jiu Jitsu back into my life in a way that, where I can kind of rebalance that. But it's a challenge because because of my neurodivergence, I hyper fixate and it'll be very. Once I train consistently, then that becomes a big focus. Then one of the other plates will fall when I can't really afford like one of the plates that involved my career to yeah, be, take, not have my attention. So yeah, I just need to be a bit more mindful and focus on how I do that. So maybe it just means that I only train Jiu Jitsu once a week and keep myself healthily distanced and just do it for the right reasons and then. Yeah, balance.
- [45:31]
John
Yeah, yeah, I get that. What does downtime look like for you at the moment?
- [45:36]
Merzy
Downtime for me, I've always enjoyed. I just like I'm gonna do it in a, in a little while. I like my music, my headphones, a coffee from my local coffee shop and I walk around my local park in nature and just switch off a bit and just enjoy it. Just focus on the music I'm listening to. And yeah, it's a, it's about a 45 minute lap of the park and it just, yeah, just keeps me fresh, keeps me moving and yeah, anything to do with like music and just like lay it like I'm still on my phone. But yeah, nature's a big one for me at the minute. I've. I've always kind of been around and enjoyed nature and being in a city, that can be hard. But yeah, I'm very lucky that I live near some local parks. But yeah, anything like that.
- [46:22]
John
Yeah, sounds good. What is a piece of advice that you'd give yourself 10 years ago if you give your. That was a weird way wording it. What's a piece of advice that you give to your. Yourself 10 years? Yeah, I'm saying again, 10 years ago, what would you say to the person that you were 10 years ago. What piece of advice?
- [46:39]
Merzy
So I've. I kind of posted it on my Instagram. Yes. Well one would be like everything always works out. It just isn't the way that your ego. The timing one is. I love this quote. The timing of the universe is perfect even if it doesn't suit your ego. And one that I live by a lot over the last 12 months is the man. The magic cannot leave you when it is you. So. So whenever I, whenever I doubt myself or I kind of have that self esteem issues like I always remember that like it's. I've got myself into some positions and it's the energy that I've kind of built and I put out into the world I think contributes that. So as long as I can kind of stay true to myself and keep believing in myself, then good things will always keep happening.
- [47:32]
John
Yeah. Yeah, I really like that. Two really good quotes. I shall steal those. Last question, I promise. What is something that you're excited about for the upcoming future?
- [47:46]
Merzy
Think for me just the. There's a. There is a piece of content coming out with Quinn I can't share anything about but I'm very excited to see the reaction of that. I'm very like. I'm very excited about. That's what's so. I'm so grateful for things that there's so much for me to look forward to. That is one and just a continued like experience of growing and producing content but especially with, with Quinn. But I have a DJ gig for a fantasy ball in September which is going to be very surreal because I already know that there's people flying from all over the world just to come see me like see be part of the event. But I know that they, they want to kind of see me which is a very, very surreal feeling and that kind of pressure of like I want them to have the best night. Yeah. But I think that although very scary and it's a big step up and experience for me as a DJ like some very new will just be like a once in a lifetime feeling and just hope it all goes well. But yeah there's just a lot of first time experiences this year and just excited to just keep traveling. I'm really prioritizing traveling the world more this year as well which has been. It's been great. So yeah lots very thankfully very much. What about you back on. You.
- [49:19]
John
Know a lot of the same. The travel is always like a big one. Like I am very fortunate as I spend about 40% of my income on.
- [49:27]
Merzy
Travel which is like, he was in Barcelona recently, right?
- [49:31]
John
Yeah. I'm off to Morocco in about two weeks.
- [49:34]
Merzy
Nice.
- [49:35]
John
I think we could go out to Spain again just after that. And then maybe I go to. I used to work with. Sorry, let me rephrase that. I still work with this American production company. Doing what? Producing audiobooks and things. And they every so often they fly people out to Oklahoma to do this, like, live course.
- [49:53]
Merzy
Oh, amazing.
- [49:54]
John
And it's. It's. Yeah, that's a load of fun. So I'm hoping that we can go this year. That'll be in October, but, yeah, we went to, like, Fort Worth and Texas and stuff. Yeah, Hell, yeah. Yeah, so it was all that sort of stuff. So. Yeah, very much. Just more travel and trying not to get too sunburned while I'm at it.
- [50:14]
Merzy
Yeah, it's definitely the territory, isn't it, today?
- [50:17]
John
I'm dying.
- [50:20]
Merzy
Or something.
- [50:21]
John
Oh, yeah, I know, right? Well, this has been, like, so fun. Thank you so much for, you know, your willingness to come on and. And for, you know, letting me probe you with questions. And it's. It's been a real pleasure, so thank you so much.
- [50:35]
Merzy
No, thank you for having me, mate. It's been. It's been class. As I say, always good to connect with creators. We're. We're in a very niche field, so it's important we can communicate. So I appreciate it a lot.
- [50:46]
John
I think it's one of those things where it's like, not many other people will get it.
- [50:49]
Merzy
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
- [50:51]
John
It's got a specific circumstance to find oneself in. Yeah. Well, that just about does it for this episode of the Audiobook Club. All of Merzi's socials and links can be found in the show notes, as well as more information on Amplify Audiobooks, who very kindly sponsor this podcast. Yeah, it's been such a pleasure. Again, thank you so much. And, yeah, hope to chat to you soon.
- [51:15]
Merzy
Thank you very much, mate.
- [51:16]
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