Answering Your Wildest Questions

Summary

The blondEST Podcast: "Answering Your Wildest Questions"

Host: Savanna Boda
Guest/Co-host: Tyler
Date: October 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This lively Q&A episode has Savanna Boda, "The Dallas Aesthetician," with her signature candor and warmth, tackling a huge range of skincare, personal, and career questions submitted by her devoted audience. Savanna addresses everything from postpartum skincare, product recommendations, and in-office treatments to deeply personal life updates, all while maintaining her trademark humor (even as she battles a nearly lost voice). Tyler joins midway, adding camaraderie, banter, and additional expertise.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life & Practice Updates

• Savanna's Personal News:
  • New hires: social media, office manager ([00:24])
  • Alyssa (team member) had a new baby, Ellie ([00:36])
  • Savanna recently finalized her divorce and expresses relief and gratitude for the support.
    • "The amount of support and love that I've been given has been amazing. Of course, there's like a couple assholes that just hate to see me win, so they're just gonna keep hating because I just keep winning." – Savanna ([01:12])
  • Discusses custody of her son, Cyrus, and finding the right nanny ([02:10]):
    • “Trying to find a nanny for Cyrus was harder than hiring for any position I’ve ever had because it’s so important. Like, that’s my baby.”

2. Skincare Q&A

Wide-ranging questions from DMs and listeners

Red Light Therapy for Men's Hair Loss ([03:18])

• Savanna Recommends:
  • Red light therapy is effective for hair loss and pain management.
  • Favorite devices: Saluma (professional), LightStim (professional), Omnilux (in practice and retail).
  • "You can just put it on your head. It’s super great." ([03:33])

Favorite Color Science Skincare Products ([03:46])

• Savanna Loves:
  • "Pep Up" for aging, texture, and tone.
  • Barrier Pro Serum Spray (helps with vitamin D absorption).
  • Barrier Pro Cleanser (like a double cleanse in a bottle).

Using the Omnilux LED Mask ([04:36])

• Savanna’s Tip: Just sanitize well, and you can use it without the head strap in a treatment setting.

Postpartum Dry Skin Care ([04:56])

• Her Picks:
  • Restorative HA Serum for the face.
  • Encore Body Hydrator for the body.

Jan Marini Product Line ([05:09])

• Not carried due to overlap with her preferred product lines; nothing wrong with it, just didn’t stand out for her practice.

Acne-Safe Prenatal Body Care ([08:48])

• For chest and back breakouts during pregnancy:
  • "Perfect Body Wash, Refining Body Scrub and Refining Body Lotion...and mandelic 11%." ([08:53])
• Notes importance of not sacrificing baby’s health for skincare—ride out breakouts if you must.

Plumping and Thickening Skin ([09:21])

• A humorous mix-up:
  • Savanna accidentally blurts out "Epiduo" instead of "Adipo" (product confusion):
    • Tyler: "Epiduo is crazy!" ([09:25])
  • Correct answer: Intense Serum first, then Volume Cream.
    • "You will have a new fucking face. Sorry." – Savanna ([09:40])

Lightening Private Areas ([10:00])

• Suggests Alpharet Peel Pads and Antispera Intensive (safe for intimate skin):
  • "Put it on your puss. Put it on your butt hole...15 minutes a day for a bright butthole sleigh." ([10:06]–[10:15])

Basic Routine on Accutane ([10:23])

• Cleansing Gel, Highest Inactive, Lipid Serum, Trio Sunscreen.

Rosacea + Menopause Support ([10:34])

• "Maestro Revive. Because it’s the same as Maestro, but has extra plant adaptogens for hormonal imbalances." ([10:39])

Growth Factor Shampoo Restock ([10:49])

• Back in stock in 2–3 weeks. Sells out due to popularity, partially thanks to Savanna’s endorsement.

Post-Microneedling PRP Aftercare ([11:51])

• Restorative Vivid Barrier Repair Gel Cream, plus add Lipid Serum.

At-Home vs. In-Office LED ([12:11])

• "Light Stim’s great in office and at home. Saluma is great in office, and Omnilux at home." ([12:17])

Tinted SPF for Darker Skin ([12:24])

• Recommends The Deep from Colorscience, plus Flex and Rich Rich Deep shades.

Anti-Aging Regimen for Retinol-Sensitive ([12:48])

• Non-retinol routine: Peptide Firming Cleanser, Barrier Pro Serum Spray, Intense Serum, Lipid Serum, Renewing HA, Maestro Revive, Interfuse Face & Neck, Carboxy Mousse, Alto (after Renewing HA).

Affordable Acne “Chin” Treatment ([13:40])

• "Mandelic acid, period." ([13:44])
• Tyler raves about Oxygen Deep Pore Mask for stubborn breakouts:
  • "That cleared his skin up so fast." ([13:55])

Lipid vs. Restorative: Need Both? ([14:26])

• Yes, for dry or reactive types. Lipid is anti-inflammatory ("not as hydrating"); Restorative HA better for traditional hydration.

Wrinkles on Cleavage ([14:52])

• Peel Pads, Techno, Alpharet Body – in that order.
  • "Peel pads four times a week for the body." ([15:37])

Mizzy Cosmetics Status ([15:58])

• Some listener confusion, but Savanna's team still sources products—new parent company, possible shift in focus.

Alto vs. Ondo ([17:11])

• "Alto if it’s for more aging. Ondo if it’s for congestion." ([17:11])

Acne Routine for College Athlete Boys ([17:18])

• Simple, no-frills: Mandelic wash, toner, Mandelic serum, hydrobalance, ClearDerma sunscreen stick.

Under-Eye Hollowness from Lash Serums ([18:10])

• Suggests Plated Eye, then Eye Renew ("like a bluff in a bottle"), and Volume Cream for under-eye fat pad volume restoration.

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Personal/Relatable Moments & Stories

Addressing Divorce & Singlehood with Humor ([05:40] onward)

• Savanna talks candidly about life after divorce, her feelings about living alone, and lightheartedly mentions learning to shoot a gun and “batting the men away.”
• Purchases herself a “divorce bag,” names it "Betty" ([07:40]):
  • “I’m gonna name her Betty because I’m batting on myself.”

Bar Outings & Single Life Stories ([18:42]–[24:55])

• Comedic tale of hitting the Dallas bar scene with Lauren:

  • "We weren’t going to find men. We just wanted to go out and hang out, like, peruse." ([18:48])
  • “Mama wants to see if she still got it.” ([19:26])
  • On being less approachable than her friend: “I’m a cunt, so I don’t give men time of day... or I'm gonna just fuck with you completely. Because it’s, like, fun.” ([20:03])

• Memorable exchange with a group of men betting on how long guys lasted at their table:

  • “...betting money and drinks how long each guy is going to make it at yalls table before the blonde one kicks him away.” ([21:19])

• Prank stories:

  • Convincing a guy she invented a device for "triphobia exposure therapy." ([21:54])
  • Telling someone her age is 42 (“I’m fucking with you, but I’m not interested in you.”) ([22:27])

• Reflecting on the dating scene in Dallas:

  • “It’ll find me when it finds me.” ([25:07])
  • “I’d rather run into them at, like, Central Market or church.” ([25:09])
  • “...it’s not. I’m not gonna find my husband and soulmate at a bar in Dallas. I’m sorry.” ([24:51])

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Notable Quotes & Banter

• “You will have a new fucking face. Sorry.” – Savanna, on Intense Serum + Volume Cream ([09:40])
• “Put it on your puss. Put it on your butt hole...15 minutes a day for a bright butthole sleigh.” – Savanna's candid approach to intimate skin care ([10:06]–[10:15])
• “Trying to find a nanny for Cyrus was harder than hiring for any position I’ve ever had because it’s so important. Like, that’s my baby.” – Savanna ([02:10])
• “Mama wants to see if she still got it.” – Savanna, after divorce ([19:26])
• “I’m a cunt, so I don’t give men time of day... or I’m gonna just fuck with you completely. Because it’s, like, fun.” – Savanna ([20:03])
• “If I aim for their left shoulder, I’ll hit them in the heart. So, yeah, so I’m gonna get a gun.” – Savanna on self-defense ([06:20])
• Tyler to Savanna, re: her raspy voice: “You sound horrible. Oh.” ([08:43])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:05] – Opening, life and practice updates, personal news
• [03:18] – Skincare Q&A starts: Red light therapy, Color Science faves
• [08:48] – Tyler joins, answers rapid-fire Qs: prenatal acne, thickening, intimate lightening, Accutane routines
• [12:24] – Tinted SPF, anti-aging for retinol-sensitive, mandelic acid for acne
• [15:58] – Mizzy Cosmetics confusion, product replacement tips
• [18:10] – Under-eye treatment, dating/bar stories begin
• [21:00] – The Dallas bar encounter and social observations
• [24:03] – Thoughts on clubs, dating, where to meet people in Dallas
• [26:13] – Wrap-up and listener call to action

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Summary Takeaways

• Practical, evidence-based answers to a host of skin and body concerns, always with a clear bias toward what’s actually worked in Savanna’s clinical experience.
• No-filter, high-energy banter—she’s not afraid to cuss, throw playful shade at herself or others, and call out the real struggles of balancing motherhood, business, and personal life.
• Empowering message for listeners facing big personal transitions: self-prioritization, resilience, and finding humor in tough times.

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This episode is packed with actionable skincare advice, product recs, and fun stories, delivered in Savanna’s raw, relatable style. Perfect for both estheticians and everyday skincare enthusiasts—plus anyone navigating major life change, ready to laugh and learn along the way.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Blondest podcast. I have lost my voice, so I'm gonna sound a little crazy today. But you know what? We always gotta show up and show out, no matter what the circumstance is. And today's podcast day, so it is what it is. I feel like I sound like a hotline sex worker, but then, like, the longer I talk, I sound like a dying animal. So it really goes from both ends of the spectrum. Okay, well, life updates, we always like to start with those. Tyler's busy right now grabbing something for me, but he'll be on the next episode. Yeah, things are good. We hired for social media, we hired an office manager to help train our team. Alyssa had her baby. Her baby girl Ellie. She's perfect. So we have a new member on the SBA team. I got divorced, and that was, like, the scariest thing to, like, announce to everybody. But now it's been, like, a week and a half since everything came out, and honestly, it went a lot smoother than I thought it would. I don't think anyone was really surprised or shocked, but the amount of support and love that I've been given has been amazing. Of course, there's, like, a couple assholes that just hate to see me win, so they're just gonna keep hating because I just keep winning. So. Yeah. Excited for the new space. It's getting closer every day. We just finalized, like, so many rooms, trying to still figure out how we're going to fix that break room cabinet in the staff area because it looks like shit. So I think they're going to just, like, tile it. I really don't know. I'm, like, honestly have so much to worry about right now that it's, like, so hard to keep up with, like, every little thing. And I'm going through some stuff with Cyrus, too, which I don't really want to talk about. Nothing? Nothing. Custody. I have majority custody of him. That's all great, but just, like, with his learning and stuff. So just, like, that in itself is hard. And then, like, having a nanny start to help, like, with him after school. And just having someone new in my house is, like, crazy. But she's amazing. I like, prayed for her for so long. I interviewed so many people. Honestly, trying to find a nanny for Cyrus was harder than hiring for any position I've ever had because it's so important. Like, that's my baby. You know, someone's gonna be driving him around and, like, shaping who he becomes as a human. So today we're gonna do some Skincare questions because I have a lot and I feel like the last couple episodes have been like, very personal and I feel like it's time to not be as personal. But some of these questions are because y' all are nosy little bitches. But I love it sometimes. Okay, someone is saying, do you suggest red light therapy for men's hair loss? My man is losing a bad. Yes, I do, actually. Red light therapy is great for hair loss. It's great for pain. I love the saluma for a professional device. Light stem is amazing. And then we carry Omnilux. I don't know why I couldn't think of that. So you can just like put it on your head. It's super great. How do I feel about Color Sciences small skincare products? They have. They're good. I actually really like pep up. We're going to start carrying it. We are part of the clinical trials from it for it and it's insane. Like for aging and just texture and tone of the skin. So I'm excited to bring that on. Obviously. I love the Barrier Pro serum spray which helps your body absorb and produce vitamin D, which is so important for all of our skin health, acne, aging, etc. And then barrier Pro cleanser is like a double cleanse in a bottle. I love it. So, yeah, they have some good stuff. They may cough maybe. Guys. Oh, my God. So little backstory. I don't know if you guys remember this, but like two and a half, three years ago, every three months, like clockwork, I would lose my voice. And it's from stress. It's like literally stress induced voice loss. It's really sad. Okay, can I use the Omnilux LED mask in my treatment room? I don't use the head strap. I just place it on the face. Yeah, just sanitize it. You're good. What would you recommend for dry skin, face and body? Postpartum restorative. Ha. Serum for the face and for the body. Encore body hydrator. And you can get all that on savannahboda.com Someone asked, why do I not carry Jan Marini? There's not really a place for it in my practice. It overlaps with a lot of stuff I have and personally I like what I have better. So I don't think it's a bad line. But it's not like I'm not dying for it or dying without it, you know. Oh, here's a personal one. What was your final straw? And to get a divorce. My misery. Like losing my spark. Like strangers seeing that, like I Had a dark cloud over me. Yeah. Like, it's hard, but also it's like, it was harder staying than it is leaving. So. Yeah. Someone says, does it scare you moving into a big house by yourself? I felt like that. I felt like I held onto my first marriage because I was scared of living alone. No, not really. I'm gonna learn how to shoot a gun. I've shot guns before. Like, at the shooting gun place. What is it called? The gun range? Yeah, the gun range. And what I've learned is if I aim for their left shoulder, I'll hit them in the heart. So, yeah, so I'm gonna get a gun. But, no, I'm not really scared. Where I'm living is, like, very safe. And I don't think I'll stay single for long. The men. I'm sorry. I'm already having to bat the men away. I'm, like, not ready to date right now, so I'll be fine. And also, I would say my dogs are scary, but they're not. They're a sheep, a doodle, and a bernadoodle. Fitz's bark, though, is pretty terrifying. So, like, if they don't see him but they hear him, they'll be scared for sure. Okay, best products for stretched out tummy skin from pregnancy, Lipid Body Serum and the Strong Body Gel. Use Lipid Body First, Strong Body Gel on top. Please take before and afters because you're literally gonna look like you got a tummy tuck. It's crazy. Okay. It's crazy out there's. Tai. Tai. Oh, look, a present for me. This is my divorce bag. Do you want to do an unboxing? I had to get it. I deserved it after the hell I've gone through. We're doing a Q and A, and it'd be so cool if you could ask the questions. He's like, are we gonna cancel? I'm like, no, we have to do it. Ain't no bitch. Oh, my God, she's so pretty. Is this. It's such a pretty brown. Oh, my God, she's so cute. I'm gonna name her Betty because I'm batting on myself. Gonna come on me, on all my dates. Thank you, bestie. He didn't buy it, but he picked it up. You smell horrible.

[B]

You sound horrible. Oh.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Acne safe. Prenatal chest and back are breaking out terribly.

[A]

Well, I'll say baby comes first. You need biotin and B12 for the baby's health, so just write it out. My friend who got to see it through, my boy I would use Perfect Body Wash, Refining Body Scrub and Refining Body Lotion to help with those body breakouts and mandelic. 11%.

[B]

Products that plump and thicken the skin.

[A]

Epiduo. That's not what I meant to say.

[B]

I was like, what? I was like, I cannot believe that that just came out of your mouth. I was like, is this a prank on me? Epiduo is crazy.

[A]

Adipo. Adipo.

[B]

The volume cream.

[A]

The volume cream. Yeah, you need the volume cream. Intense Serum first Volume cream on top. You will have a new fucking face. Sorry.

[B]

Please. Y'. All. Clip. Clip that. How to lighten the private parts.

[A]

I would use Alpharet Peel Pads.

[B]

Antispera Intensive. It's safe for intimate areas.

[A]

Yeah, Put it on your puss. Put it on your butt hole.

[B]

No, for real.

[A]

Really? Put it on there.

[B]

15 minutes, then. Yeah.

[A]

15 minutes a day for a bright butthole sleigh.

[B]

Very basic routine while on Accutane Cleansing Gel.

[A]

Highest inactive Lipid Serum Trio Sunscreen.

[B]

I have rosacea and I am in menopause. Which Maestro should I use?

[A]

Maestro Revive. Because it's the same as Maestro. Maestro, but it has extra plan adaptogens for hormonal imbalances.

[B]

When will the Factor 5 shampoo be back in stock? I'll answer this one because. Actually, I only know because Maria told me today. But it should be, like, probably from when this episode comes out. Two to three more weeks. They. The funny backstory that we got was they actually kind of weren't maybe necessarily meaning to launch the product. I don't know how you accidentally launch a product, but that's none of my business. So I don't know if they were ready for. I feel like they could have handled it if it was like, they didn't have me. Yeah. If it was not the Savannah Boda selling it. But y' all love it. We love it. And it sold out.

[A]

40 bucks?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you can. A growth. A growth factor. Shampoo for $40 is insane to me. Yeah, but. But very soon.

[A]

Do you think losing my voice is, like stage one of rabies?

[B]

No.

[A]

You swear?

[B]

Don't say that. I don't know, but I'm saying no. Like, no, it's not.

[A]

I just had a weird intuition.

[B]

Don't have that intuition. Absolutely not. Post microneedling PRP care. I have Restorative Vivid Barrier Repair Gel Cream.

[A]

That's good. I like it. Picasso. I'd add in lipid serum, period. Is it personal?

[B]

No, just. I didn't LED for in office use and LED for at home use. I was like, is that a question?

[A]

Light Stim's great in office and at home. Saluma is great in office. And Omnilux at home.

[B]

Tinted SPF for darker skin tones.

[A]

The deep is really good from color science.

[B]

The flex and the rich and the rich, rich, deep.

[A]

Beautiful colors. It's like the color of my back. The deep is the rich. Deep is like a darker cocoa. It's beautiful.

[B]

Anti aging regimen, but cannot use retinol.

[A]

Okay. Peptide firming cleanser barrier Pro Serum spray Intense serum. Lipid Serum Renewing. Ha. My sure Revive Interfuse face and neck and carboxy mousse. Yeah. Oh, my God. And Alto. Alto would go after renewing. I'm answering some personal ones too.

[B]

I haven't gotten to any personal ones, so.

[A]

I like the personal ones. They're juicy. I'm bored.

[B]

Affordable product for someone who gets breakouts on their chin.

[A]

Mandelic acid, period.

[B]

Honestly, I'm on the oxygen deep pore mask train right now.

[A]

That shit's good.

[B]

So good.

[A]

That cleared his skin up so fast.

[B]

It was crazy. I like. You can ask Savannah. I was having these like weird breakouts and I could not get rid of them, like no matter what I did. Just they were. They were persistent. Like very persistent. And I pulled that out of my box of treasure that I have at home and literally like I used it two times and everything cleared up. Now it's just a little bit of pie. But Intense serum will handle that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just bought Lipid and I'm currently using restorative. Do I need both?

[A]

I would say yes. I don't think lipid's as hydrating, but it's really good for inflammation. So I do lipid and then restorative, especially in the winter. And if you're like a dry curly, like someone like Tyler could totally just do one or the other. Someone like me. I love both. For my skin.

[B]

Wrinkles on cleavage. What are my options?

[A]

I'm sorry. I also want to say lipid serum's not hyaluronic acid. It's tetramethyl hexadecinyl succinyl cysteine. So it's a patented complex. It is hydrating, but it's not nha. So it works in a different way to hydrate the skin and it's more anti inflammatory and it also protects your collagen and protects your skin from blue light, which can degrade your collagen and elastin and worsen pigment. Restorative Ha Helps a lot with redness in the skin. And it also is a dual weight, so it's instantly hydrating and hydrates deep down.

[B]

Wrinkles on cleavage. What are my options for products?

[A]

Peel pads, Techno Alpharette body. In that order. Peel pads four times a week for the body.

[B]

What do you use instead of the colorless Pureology spray Unite?

[A]

I have it on my shop, my shelf. You can find it by going in the link in my bio on Instagram.

[B]

What happened to Mizzy Cosmetics? Heard they effed people out of orders and shut down. We got confused.

[A]

I didn't know anything until y' all told me.

[B]

Yeah, we kind of got confused too.

[A]

But, like, wait, what? Because we've had so much, we just buy a lot at a time and it doesn't sell as much as it used to. Or does it?

[B]

No, I think it's still selling. Maria still has been ordering well. Okay, so Savannah Nor I handle product orders at sba, so Maria is the queen of that. She handles all of that. So when you asked me that, I was like, I don't know. So I asked Maria and she said, oh, yeah, I think they have a new parent company. And Maria said it was kind of confusing because they were like. Or was that you who told me they're, like, focused on, like, like, post treatment care now and stuff? But Maria said that she's still able to order the regular products and we've been ordering them, so I don't know, maybe you. Maybe y' all have to order from this new website. Well, order from our website. What am I saying? Ondo or alto Advance. I could only afford one.

[A]

Alto if it's for, like, more aging. Ondo if it's for, like, congestion.

[B]

Simple acne routine for a college athlete boy.

[A]

Okay. Mandelic wash, moisture balance, toner, Mandelic serum hydrobalance. Clear derma sunscreen stick. Should I just whisper? Does this sound better than that?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's really fucking annoying is what I think it is.

[B]

What do I use for.

[A]

I feel like Ariel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How am I gonna find a man when she has no voice? Honestly, they'll probably give me more dates. I probably ruin. I'll probably ruin any relationship by talking because I say some crazy shit.

[B]

Just no filter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do I use for under eye hollowness from past lash serums. Lash serums. But I do not have darkness.

[A]

I would get the plated eye and then eye renew on top. It's like a bluff in a bottle. It's so good for building back those fat pads and volume. Cream underneath the eyes is amazing. Reminds Me. Okay, so I have a side story. So Lauren and I last week were like, we're both single. And, you know, we're cute. We're like, black cat, golden retriever. Like, let's fucking go out and just scout out the town. And so we did. And unfortunately, I fear it was ou Texas weekend. So everyone was like a 7 and 7. So there were no hot men, and they were all young as hell. But it was funny because we was just, like, we weren't going, like, to find men. Like, we just wanted to go out and hang out, like, peruse. Like, it's fun to get hit on. Like, it's fun to, like, get attention. And, like, I haven't been able to have that in 10 years. So I'm like, you know, mama wants to see if she still got it. So I put on my little skirt, palm a little top, grabbed a beer, which I never thought I would drink, but actually think I like dosakis.

[B]

I do. I don't think I've had one. What does it taste like?

[A]

Like sparkling water with lime.

[B]

Sparkling water.

[A]

Me too. But I. I don't mind it. So anyway, we're sitting at this table and it's, like, so funny. Cause, like, these, like, every, like, couple minutes, a different guy or like, a couple guys will come up and they try to talk to us. And I'm. Lauren's really nice. Obviously. Anyone that's met Lauren, that's a client listening to this, like, she's sweet. I'm a cunt, so I don't give men time of day. I'm like, if I'm not interested, like, I'm not gonna fucking look you in the eye or I'm gonna just fuck with you completely. Because it's, like, fun. So we keep getting these. You're not listening. That's really hurtful. Who are you texting?

[B]

I am.

[A]

Ryan.

[B]

No. Yes.

[A]

Stop texting your boyfriend. That's so fucking annoying.

[B]

I had to answer him. Why?

[A]

Is he dying?

[B]

No, he was trying to get into my place.

[A]

Must be nice. Anyway, so we keep coming and going and coming and going. And it's like, you know, a couple group K, then finally these, like, five guys come up and they're like, we just gotta say, ladies, this has been more entertaining. And there wasn't the Texas OU game. It was like a different game because it was like a Friday night. Like, this has been more entertaining than watching whatever the fuck game was on. I wasn't paying attention. I don't know what it was. They're like, it's been. We've, like, had a timer on our phone, betting money and drinks, like, how long each guy is going to make it at yalls table before the blonde one kicks him away. And Lauren and I were just dying laughing, and they're like, so we don't want to get our egos hurt, so we're going to leave. But we just wanted to say, like, thanks for the free entertainment. And then this girl behind us was like, we've been watching you guys all night. Like, it's hilarious, like, watching these guys, like, just shoot their shot and get turned down, but it was funny. Give me my phone. So this one guy, it was my favorite fucking thing to fuck with him. He comes up and he's like, I see these girls, like, with these phones all the time. What is it? And I was like, oh, it's for triphobia. Like, therapy, exposure therapy. He's like, what's that? And I was like, it's like the fear of, like, a bunch of holes.

[B]

And.

[A]

And he was like, no way. And I was like, yeah, actually, like, it's my initiative. Like, I run a nonprofit, and I actually created this. Like, this is my invention. And he was like, that's so sick. Like, I've always been so confused, like, what these are for. I didn't know, like, this condition was, like, so popular. Like, every girl has one. I'm like, yeah, it's like an epidemic. And each, like, purchase funds towards our charity for triphobia.

[B]

So he thought you invented the octobody?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow. That would be a slay if you did.

[A]

And then I convinced this one guy because he was like, how old are you? And I was like, way too old for you, which I was. And he's like, like, how old? And I was like, yes. He's like, 25. And I was like, 42. And he was like, no way. And I was like, yeah, I'm in skincare. And he's like, dude, like, I want to invest in that. And I was like, I'm fucking with you, but I'm not interested in you. So it was fun. And I told this one guy my name was something different. It was just fun because, like, I'm not really trying to, like, date right now. Like, if something happens, like, and God brings someone into my life, and it's like, you know, if you feel that.

[B]

Feel you're not looking for something.

[A]

No. God, no.

[B]

But you're hugging.

[A]

But if something finds me, it finds me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's just fun to go out and, like, fuck with people. I love it. It's actually so much fun because I obviously can't do that when I'm married.

[B]

You should be so glad you didn't go on Saturday. You would have fucking hated it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it was like.

[A]

I don't understand people my age and men my age that still party and go out. Like, I don't get it.

[B]

Well, I think it's because it was literally, like. It was after the OU Texas game, so it was like a mosh pit in every single place. Like, it was like a sardines. Like, Lauren was telling me because we were at Lonnie's, which is where y' all were, and she was like, no, it was like, 25% as much as this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would have hated it.

[A]

For me, it's like, I go, you know how I do this? Like, every year? I'm like, I need to go out. Like, I'm young. I need to go out.

[B]

Normally it's in Vegas. Like, Vegas.

[A]

No, but I've never really gone out. Yeah.

[B]

Actually, you say it, but we never do.

[A]

I've never gone to a club in Vegas.

[B]

No, we.

[A]

I've never been out past 10 in Vegas.

[B]

We went to a beach club during the day. That was as far as we got, though.

[A]

Yeah. That was horrible.

[B]

Yeah, that was. That was awful. Zero.

[A]

Zero to ten pools. So hot. And, like, you don't want to get in the pool because it's, like, disgusting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm not gonna get gonorrhea from a pool in Vegas.

[B]

Well, you would.

[A]

You would.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I am Audron. I have my, like, vagina fall off. But, yeah, so then I, like, you know, I went out. It was fun, but, like, I don't know if I am like, gonna actually start trying to date. It's not. I'm not gonna find my husband and soulmate at a bar in Dallas. I'm sorry.

[B]

Depends on what bar. Not Lonnie's.

[A]

Not at all.

[B]

But, like, maybe the Mansion bar.

[A]

Or, like, that's sugar daddy central. You don't even know. I know more about the dating scene in Dallas from my clients than you do, gay boy.

[B]

Where would you go?

[A]

Nowhere. I'd rather run into them at, like, Central Market or Church.

[B]

Well, I'm trying to think, like, what about the clubs? Like, all the clubs.

[A]

Fuck, Tyler.

[B]

No, not the clubs clubs, but, like, the clubs. No, like a pickleball club or, like, one of those. You know what I mean? Like an activity club.

[A]

Yeah, but that'd be disingenuous to who I am, because I don't like sports.

[B]

I know, but I'm trying to think if there's a club that you would like. No. Hmm.

[A]

It'll find me when it finds me.

[B]

Like, what if there's, like a diving club and everyone just, like, goes to.

[A]

A pool in Texas and looks at the floor of the pool?

[B]

Like the pharma, CCA or whatever.

[A]

They're all probably like depressed veterans.

[B]

Oh, jeez. Hell. Anymore?

[A]

No.

[B]

Are we at time with this? I don't know how long this was when I came in.

[A]

I don't know how long it's been either. Alright, we're gonna make this around two bitches, okay?

[B]

Love you.

[A]

Happy Monday. If you know if you're a Dallas girl and you know where to go.

[B]

Shoot her a dm. Let a girl know, send her plans. Bye, y'. All.

[A]

Bye, D.