A (1:34)

If you ask anyone, I'm like, very chill, really sweet, very nice, really funny. I make everyone laugh, and I say yes to pretty much every upgrade. So why wouldn't they love me?

B (1:46)

That's true.

A (1:47)

So this was like, my one thing that I was like, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but, like, this is not happening, and I'm standing my fucking ground right now, and I don't give a shit who you have to call. I didn't talk to him like this, but that's a lot nicer. But my head. I was like, I don't care who's getting called. I don't care who. We got a fuck or suck, but this thing is getting moved. I said that actually, verbatim.

B (2:09)

She did.

A (2:10)

The construction guy said, what's his name?

B (2:13)

Anthony.

A (2:13)

Anthony. Anthony said, anthony, I don't care who we're fucking or sucking, but it's getting moved. And thankfully, we'd have to or suck anyone yeah, to my knowledge. Yeah, so it got moved, but, yeah, that was like my one big thing because it was a really big deal.

B (2:31)

You want to talk about logo?

A (2:33)

So I had a crash out and it was the Eclipse. I had a lot of crash outs, actually. I think I just started really second guessing a lot of my decisions. Okay, a little backstory here, which. This will all make sense to you guys, and maybe a month or two, depending on timing of life. But I've been going through a lot this year. This year has been, like. I feel like I've had, like, five rebirths and five deaths and I've been traveling to escape. I have been not having my head in the game. I've kind of been coasting. I mean, literally today I just had a whole talk with my team and I was like, thank you guys for, like, holding down the fucking fort while I gallivanted around the world trying to figure out my life. Because I've just had so many, like, I think, okay, they're all gonna think I'm fucking crazy. My Saturn return happened at 27, and you change a lot and you reevaluate your life and you just figure out so much about yourself. And also, I've said this a million times, but, like, from age 19, literally up until last September, my entire life, I had just been building sba and, like, I had no other personality. I was telling you this on the phone the other day. Like, the Dallas Esthetician was Savannah Bota and Savannah Bota was the Dallas Esthetician. Like, there was no separation. I didn't have work, life, balance. I didn't know my identity outside of being the Dallas Esthetician. I didn't have any other hobbies. I didn't have any other things I like to do. I didn't have any other friends. I didn't go out. I was at home every single night, just working. Like, I literally had nothing else to my name besides my business. And it was great because I built the business. I built. I had got so much success. I made a lot of money, I changed a lot of lives, I built my empire and, you know, made a really good legacy for myself. So I don't regret it. But during that time, my mental health was really, really bad because anytime I had any kind of sadness or thought about anything, one, I was too busy to feel them or too exhausted to feel them. So I shoved them away until, like, everything really came to a head and I had a full fellow breakdown that Tyler was there for. That's actually been a breakdown that I've been dealing with for. Probably till. I don't know when would you say that I've kind of been better? Probably last week. Probably last week.

B (4:55)

I think it was a work in progress. Like, I think, like, you've really been making efforts to For a while, but.

A (5:05)

It'S just hard because then once you open that can of worms, it, like, it starts to, like. That's why I didn't want to deal with my emotions or any feelings that I had around anything in my life because I knew it would distract me to feel big things because it would just open a lot. And there was a lot of things, though. Like, you know, I was having difficulties. Just patterns that I would notice in my relationships with employees, with boundaries, with other people. That all was, like, childhood trauma. And just. And I've talked about this a million times. Like, healing my trauma was, like, the best thing I could have done. I lowered my cortisol levels this year. I started working out again. I started taking care of myself. I started loving myself for who I am and not what I produce, which was really hard because when I started therapy two years ago with Jan, it was two years, maybe three years ago with Jan, my therapist, it was really hard for me to separate the two. I was like, I only feel like I deserve love if I'm exhausted. And I did XYZ and, like, my checklist is done, and, like, I feel like I'd go through a little bit more spirals. Like, remember when I'd, like, spiral and, like, want to, like, leave work to go, like, try on every single shoe to see if it fit? Right when my feet shrank, when I lost weight?

B (6:12)

Yeah.

A (6:13)

Like, I would, like, literally go down these, like, really, like, OCD almost episodes like, that were, like, really unhealthy. Like, I'd get, like, really, like, perfectionism. And it was because I was trying to, like, find some sense of control. And I feel like I've really let go of that. Like, my house is a lot messier than it usually is, and I just roll with it. I think it's because my personal life is messy now that I have to, like, pick one. Well, now I guess both is messy. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but basically, you know, everyone sees me on social media and it looks like I have it all together. And I've shared a lot through the past year of, like, you know, those moments when I feel like, what are you looking at?

B (6:51)

Sorry.

A (6:53)

Are you good?

B (6:54)

Yeah.

A (6:55)

I don't like that.

B (6:56)

I was. That's Trauma. They have a picture of Harry Styles. And I didn't know if it was really him or a cutout, so that's why I.

A (7:02)

It's definitely a cutout.

B (7:03)

I know. I realized that, but I just caught my eye. I'm sorry.

A (7:08)

So you can't do that. Because I forgot to tell this last episode. This is what was about la. Oh, my God. No, I did. Okay. Make sure you bring me back to this. Hold this in your head. Messy life.

B (7:21)

Yeah. Messy home crazy.

A (7:23)

Keep that pocket. That. Put that in your little notepad. Okay. When we came back from LA the first night, I'm laying in bed with Cyrus, and he goes, what's that pointing at the sky? And I'm like, what's what, buddy? He goes, that man crawling towards us. I'm like, what man? What man? He's like, that man up there. That spooky man. That spooky man crawling on the wall. He's crawling towards this mommy. And I said, is he scary? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, is he talking to me? He's like, yeah. I was like, well, tell him to go away. And thankfully, Brenda got that bitch on speed dial. Love her. She, like, did a protection spell and called in St. Anthony. Or is it Saint Archangel. Archangel Michael. I don't remember. Guys, this is like 10pm Anyway, and then I taught Cyrus to go, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. And so I taught him to, like, throw his hand out and rebuke it. And then we did the Lord's Prayer, which, if you guys are Catholic, you probably know which is my favorite one. Do you know the Lord's Prayer? Do you?

B (8:32)

Of course not.

A (8:33)

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us of our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not to temptation. For thine is the power, then the glory, forever and ever. I need to reread it, but that's what I say. Amen. And I think it works.

B (8:56)

You're not even Catholic, are you?

A (8:58)

I was christened Catholic and I'm whatever I want to be, babe.

B (9:03)

No, but I didn't think you were.

A (9:04)

Don't put me in a box.

B (9:05)

No, but I'm saying I didn't even think you were raised Catholic.

A (9:08)

I was for a bit.

B (9:10)

Interesting.

A (9:11)

Yeah. Anyhow, so then he was like, what's that spooky spirit over there? And it was like talking to him. And he was like, it's a little boy. It's a little ghost. And it was just like a whole thing. So that's what reminded me. I don't like when you look up there. So thankfully we look up where during eclipses, when you were looking up, I thought you saw a spooky.

B (9:29)

I didn't look up. I never even looked up. Those lights are bright.

A (9:32)

Run the fucking clip back. This is you. That was you running back. Run it back. Just saying he did 1000% was looking up. So, yeah, we rebuked all the spirits from my home. And if you don't think ghosts are real, you're crazy and also ignorant. And I stand by that fact.

B (9:56)

That's crazy. I thought, you know, I just. When you were saying. And also I thought you were going to tell another part of the story, but then you just went in with ignorant.

A (10:03)

And I was like, oh, ghosts are real. Spirits are real. I've been watching spiritual warfare. There's demons out there that are trying to steal your child's innocence, and you have to pray the blood of Jesus over them. And yeah, because evil spirits want your children. It. They want to corrupt them. They are purity. That's why they do children sacrifices and a lot of horrible stuff in Hollywood, because children of the epitome of purity and it makes the devil so mad. So anyway, my son now is protected thanks to Jesus Christ and Brenda. Anyway, so being my life being messy and crazy. So anyway, I got closer to God this year. I got more in touch with my spirituality, and I just feel really in a better place. And I just addressed a lot of things that I had pushed away because for a long time I felt like, you know, you can't have it all. You can't have money and success and, like, want everything else. To, like, who am I to, like, have it all? Because I didn't love myself. And I thought I had a compromise and I was scared to have it all because I thought if I was fat, people would, like, like me more, which they did. The. The numbers that we pulled from my reports on Instagram don't lie. People did like me a little bit bigger, and that's okay. But I got healthy for me. I wanted to feel better about myself. And, you know, I was in pain, and it wasn't. It wasn't healthy, period. I wanted to be healthy. I wasn't. Wasn't eating good. And I want to live a long time for my son. And something that I actually watched that woke me up was like, you know, you Say you die for your child, but would you live for him? And so I started to, like, really evaluate my life choices and like, what I was doing and what I was consuming and eating and doing. And yeah, I just wanted to get a hold of it before it got harder. And I think with the breast reduction, it just really kind of like made me feel more confident. So, so hard to work out with those giant titties. Like, they were suffocating and they were heavy and they were huge and they were saggy and they were massive and they were just awful. Like, I felt like I could breathe once I got those bitches chopped off. And so, hell yeah, brother was the kickstart. And yeah. So, like, I feel like since 2023, I would say, like, I've really gone through this and I'm in such a better place. But it's been hard because I feel like I'm in the most game time. Like, I've been preparing for this move for. I've been dreaming about this new spa for years. You know, like, I knew six months into the space we're currently in that I wasn't gonna make it past, you know, that time that, like, I needed a bigger space. And so I'd already been like, envisioning and dreaming and manifesting and thinking about what my new space would look like. And I had a five year lease, so I was like, I'm gonna ride that out. I don't want to get out of it. I. I couldn't really, and I didn't want to go to court for that. So I was like, I'll stay in my shoebox, which was a very big shoebox at one point. We just outgrew it. And our business grew really fast, which I'm so thankful and grateful for. So I've been really prepared. And then it's like, finally when it's time, like, I am mentally not there anymore because I am so focused on my personal shit and going through my healing journey, taking care of myself. And that's what it really was. It was just like I opened this can of worms. Like, I was like, okay, like, I'll deal with like a little piece of this. And then once I started to open up the can, I realized that there were so many worms. It was a worm infestation. There were so many worms, Tyler. Like, it literally was giving. I needed a dewormer. I really did. And I think once you start that healing journey, it's like, fuck you. Just so much comes out that you weren't even prepared for.

B (13:51)

Pandora's box.

A (13:52)

It is. Oh my God. Yeah. And it like, I'm like, dude, I was trying to like do like a little thing and now it's like this whole big thing and I just had like all. I just matured a lot. I grew a lot. And then the Saturn return thing. You do change a lot at 27. Casey Musgraves talks about it in a song, A Deeper well. When I turn 27, everything starting to change. And it's true because you go through nine year cycles, but fun fact, Tyler, you should look into that. You do, you go through nine year cycles. And so I'm in this new nine year cycle I'm coming up and I felt it and I've been feeling it and I just, you know, it was really hard. I didn't know if I was going to make it half the time. I'm so thankful for my team sticking with me because I thought I was so burnt out of work, but really it was like all of the stuff that I had pushed away for so long was just bleeding into my professional life. And I didn't. No, that's, that's what it was. I thought, oh, I'm just like exhausted and burnt out. But no, it's because I wasn't dealing with all this heavy shit that I like actually could not be happy because it was like this huge burden on my shoulders. It was just weighing on me. And the more I pushed it away because I was like, I can't deal with this. I can't deal with this. I need to be successful, I need to make money and if I start to deal with this, then I won't be focused. Which is true because I have not been focused for a year. Thankfully. My business is. I had things in place. Like I, if I had tried to go through this and deal with all that I'm. That I've dealt with when I was like in the building phases of my business, it never would have happened. I would have completely derailed. So I'm glad that I had. I'm not glad. I'm fucking grateful and thankful that I had a team in place that could hold down the fucking fort while I got my personal life together so that we can level up to this new space together. And I feel like I'm finally like, I don't think healing ever ends, but I have done a lot of work and I've really found who I am. And this year I've really found out that Savannah Botta is a really different person than just the Dallas Esthetician And Savannah Botta has wants and needs, and Savannah Botta has hobbies and things about her that she loves. And Savannah Botta has a life that she doesn't have to share every single bit of it about, you know? And I think a lot of it was becoming a mother opened my eyes to a lot of things. I mean, I don't think there's just one thing. I think it's just been a lot of things that happened around the same time that just really pushed me into this growth period. Personally, I feel like I had my professional growth and now I've had my personal growth, and I just really fucking love the woman I am now. I'm so much stronger. I think I was, like, almost pretending to be stronger than I was, and I wasn't. And now I'm like, you know, if I can go through this and I can have this awareness, I can do fucking anything. And I stopped making life decisions and choices based off of how people would think about me and started realizing that this is my life and I only have one, and I want and I can't have it all. And I am allowed to have it all, and I deserve to have it all if it's God's grace. And it is because I'm his favorite. And I think that, you know, you look really upset, Tyler.

B (17:09)

No, I'm just listening.

A (17:11)

Oh, well, this is why people think you hate me.

B (17:14)

You're talking a lot. I'm just listening. I'm taking it all in.

A (17:16)

Okay. He does give rbf. So if you guys say you think he hates me, I mean, I don't.

B (17:21)

This is how I look all day, every day.

A (17:23)

He looks like he hates hearing me talk. No, like, you could smile. You already look really, like, smile.

B (17:30)

I mean, this isn't like. It's kind of sad.

A (17:35)

Thank you. It's not sad. It's happy. I'm, like.

B (17:37)

It's bittersweet.

A (17:38)

It's great. It's been. I'm, like, finally in a good place. And, like, I haven't really. I've been alluding to on the podcast for months and on Instagram for a year. Like, and I still am. Which you guys will, like, know some of it maybe soon. But everyone makes their opinions in the summer assumptions that they think they know about my life and they don't, you guys, know, like, 1% of it. And I think that's hard because I really built my platform on being an oversharer. But then I became a mother and grew the fuck up and realized that, like, it's just not, there's not. There's things not everyone needs to know. And I'm allowed to have a life that's private. And my page, you know, I like to share about mental health. I like to share about, you know, depression, anxiety. I'll be sharing about more things soon that can be helpful to other people that maybe are going through what I'm going through. But yeah, I just realized that.

B (18:34)

I.

A (18:35)

Don'T have to be everyone's cup of tea. And I know who the fuck I am. And those that love me, know me and know who I am. And one thing I like to say is anyone who's ever met me in person, it's my favorite. Like there was a girl at icsc. Which one was it? What was the last one we did? New York, Vegas. Vegas. And it was kind of like a backhanded compliment. Do you remember the one I'm talking about?

B (18:57)

It always is.

A (18:58)

She was like, I really didn't want to like Savannah Bota. Like I just took her class because I wanted to see, you know, what was going on and what the hype of her about is. And I left a Boda bestie, so she wanted to come in hating me. And she ended up like becoming not even a fan about a bestie. Like, that's, that's some serious shit. That's top tier. And so that's what I mean. And then also all the people that hate me, like you hate 21 year old me and bitch. Same don't like that bitch. I'd curb stomp her.

B (19:25)

I quit.

A (19:28)

You know, I mean, it's like I was given this platform at such a young age and had to grow up online. And I've said this story a million times and I'll probably have to fucking say it a million times more. But, you know, I didn't know I was an influencer. I was just a business owner with 5,000 followers. And so I was very protective of my intellectual property. Almost too much so. But I was not a bully. And I think people need to actually like, fucking Webster Dictionary. What bullying is. Because defending yourself is not bullying. But I will say posting it and telling my followers to tell them to take it down did lead to that because they were mean on my behalf, but not because I told them to be mean. I just told them, tell them to take it down. I didn't say, you know, obliterated.

B (20:13)

You would always try to do it privately first.

A (20:15)

Oh yeah. I never would put anything online and be messy unless like they were like, fuck you. I'm not Removing it. And honestly, I should have let it go and not care, you know? But I was young and stupid, and I didn't know that I was an influencer. Like, I didn't. Like, I did not. I had a lot of imposter syndrome, and I was just like, no, I'm not an influencer. I'm just a business owner trying to get clients. Like, that's it.

B (20:37)

Yeah.

A (20:38)

And you spent hours creating, and now everyone does it. And, like, now I can't police it anymore, nor do I care, because that's why I get paid. The money I get paid is because people care and give a fuck about what I do. And so it's a good thing. And I think, you know, something I've learned is when you hold on to something so tightly, you almost suffocate it and kill it. And that's what I was doing. And once I let go, I went to the top, period. So that's really it, guys. Just take care of yourself and your mental health.

B (21:11)

You want to know how this came up?

A (21:12)

What?

B (21:12)

Because I asked you about the logo.

A (21:14)

Oh, well. Oh, yeah, I. Oh, yeah, the logo. So there was a little eye. There is still a little eye. We're keeping it. We're keeping it. It's quirky, it's cute. And I was, like, trying to find meaning behind it. And I was thinking, I was like, we could do, like, the eye, because, like, you know, it's about really. The new era of SBA is about the clients. So it's like, the eye is so small. Because it's not about I. It is about us. But then I was like. But then Spanner Boda is, like, right on fucking top of it.

B (21:43)

So clearly it's about me, bitch.

A (21:45)

It's about me, bitch. But it's not. It's just the name.

B (21:49)

But for all of you who voted Big Eye, let's just take a quick second to explain that and what my argument was the entire time. First of all, we had have gone through many variations of this. We've been working on this new brand for over a year. And so, you know, this was our final one. We've had this finalized for probably eight months. Savannah posts a picture on her thing, and people start asking about the little eye, and it sends her into a little bit of a spiral. Her planets were out of alignment. What was going on? Something like that. Everything she just explained. And so she was like, I hate the little eye. Like, it needs to be big eye. So. But here's my thing about it. The little eye is like, it shows that the font is custom. Like, first of all, this is already a custom font, but when you turn it into a big eye, I feel like it gives the vibe that, like, Savannah and I were sitting on Canva and went through the little fonts that are there and picked one, maybe one other little. And typed out aesthetics, and then another.

A (22:54)

Little letter, put it up there.

B (22:55)

And so, like, it just gives. I don't think they're. I don't think so. No one else thinks that. Like, it.

A (23:01)

Okay.

B (23:02)

Because they're like. That's like saying the DA in boda. Why is it crossed and nothing else is crossed? Should we cross all the letters? Like, you know what I mean? Like, it has little things.

A (23:12)

I just, like, have not been able to, like. Actually, I think what it was is that I, since I was dealing with all this personal shit, have, like, not had my head in the game with all. I mean. Okay, I'm being hard on myself. I've done a lot. I've really. I've done a lot. My team has really hauled down the fort. But, like, I've done a lot, given the circumstances.

B (23:31)

Yeah.

A (23:32)

That other people wouldn't be able to do.

B (23:34)

But I mean, the thing is, is a lot of our days, like, we are still fully running a. I have.

A (23:39)

To make all these really big decisions, and, like, literally, I can't. I have, like, analysis paralysis. I'm usually really decisive, and then I'll decide something, and I'm like, why did I say yes to this? Or I second guess myself just because, like, I've just been all over the place mentally, and I'm usually, like, have a really strong footing, but I feel like I'm back now. I feel like I'm good now. I think. I think I'm okay now today.

B (24:05)

Today we're good.

A (24:06)

We're good today. We'll see tomorrow. But, yeah, it's a lot of decisions. It's hard to balance life. Be in the hardest season of your life personally, and then, like, the biggest. The most important one. Yeah. Professionally, like, it's like, you couldn't have asked for worse timing.

B (24:24)

Yeah. But we're thinking about how it's good. It's gonna be so much better to do it in one year rather than, like, have everything happen over the course of a decade. Yeah.

A (24:34)

So I'm just gonna have a. Like, once. Hopefully. 2026 is my year, babe. Like, 2025. You.

B (24:39)

Yeah, 2025. Literally, you.

A (24:42)

It's funny, like, fucked me in the ass raw.

B (24:46)

I have no. I am not quitting Y', all, Savannah walks in the other day, goes, brenda told me that you're thinking about quitting. And I looked at Savannah, I said, I think about quitting every single day and so do you. And she was like, you're right.

A (24:59)

I know.

B (24:59)

Like, every day we're like, can we run away?

A (25:01)

Like, Tyler's really helped a lot with some personal stuff, too. And so it's been a strain on our relationship because there's just. It's literally just so much, you know, and that's why we're really happy about this social media person, because that's gonna, like, quite a bit. One of the things that.

B (25:16)

Well, because it's a whole other business for us. Like, it's like.

A (25:19)

And I just can't do it the way I was doing it. I mean, like, I'm always gonna be the executive on it, but, like, you know, the little day to day stuff, like, I don't have the mental capacity nor is it worth my time anymore.

B (25:29)

Cyrus was a newborn. Like, you could hold him and work.

A (25:31)

Now you couldn't talk.

B (25:32)

Yeah. Like, now you cannot do that stuff.

A (25:34)

So, yeah, just with everything, you know, the new house, the new spa, I mean, hiring, social media speaking, like, there's just so many aspects of my life and, like, working out, being, like, trying to, like, eat good and, like, not eat fast food and, like, grocery shop. Like, there's just, like, so much I hate living. Living is so hard.

B (25:56)

Yeah, that's. I wasn't gonna quit job. I was just gonna quit life.

A (25:59)

Yeah. No, it's like, I told my therapist, I was like, I'm not suicidal, but, like, I'd like to just not exist. Like, I'm not gonna do anything, but, like, sometimes I just wish, like, I could just float on a cloud and, like, come back down when I decide I'm ready to, like, life again. Or just, like, go in a coma. Like, maybe like a medically induced coma for, like, a year.

B (26:16)

What I said at dinner. Yeah, but then Candace was like, no, because when you go into a coma, your muscles atrophy. And for you, you didn't leave. Like, you just fell asleep and you woke back up.

A (26:26)

Oh, that sucks.

B (26:26)

You know what I mean? Like, you didn't feel the break everyone else did.

A (26:29)

Like, just, like, not exist for a full two years and then come back.

B (26:33)

No, literally. But. So, yeah, not only are y' all getting SBA 2.0, but you're also getting SB 2.0.

A (26:40)

Yeah.

B (26:41)

Coming up.

A (26:42)

Yeah.

B (26:44)

I'm proud of you.

A (26:45)

Try me. Because I don't care.

B (26:48)

Don't try her, please.

A (26:49)

Please don't try me.

B (26:50)

Yeah, I can't take any more.

A (26:51)

I'm really like, I'm fragile in a fragile state, but I am strong.

B (26:54)

Yeah.

A (26:55)

I'm like, yeah.

B (26:57)

So don't try her. Try me.

A (26:59)

Yeah, try me.

B (27:01)

Y' all are already starting.

A (27:02)

I know. Poor Ty. But yeah. No, we love each other. He's my best friend. It's hard working with your best friend. It is hard doing things that we have both never done before. He's never been a COO and scaled a business. I've never done anything ever until I've done it. So all of it's new. We've never built a spa like this caliber like I did sba, the first one.

B (27:23)

But like no one's ever.

A (27:24)

I was flooring a Corbu and that was like not custom. Okay? It was me and my little 19 year old mind and I'm proud of it and I will never belittle it because I hold space for her. And she slayed and she ate and she brought us to a multi million dollar business.

B (27:37)

You're gonna cry like a little baby.

A (27:38)

Oh, I'm gonna cry like a little bitch. I'm gonna haunt that. I'm gonna have Brenda haunt that fucking place.

B (27:43)

No, stop, stop. Actually, they're coming to the spa tomorrow too. The newly sees.

A (27:51)

I feel like they're like abducting my child. But it's fine. We're going to a new space. It's gonna be great. And I hope you guys have a great Monday because I'm quite at capacity and I actually have a call with Brenda right now, so I gotta go.

B (28:06)

Okay, love you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.