Meet My Ride-or-Die, Maria

Summary

The blondEST Podcast – "Meet My Ride-or-Die, Maria"

Host: Savanna Boda
Guest: Maria ("Titi"), Savanna's personal assistant and close friend
Date: January 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this heartwarming and candid episode, Savanna Boda introduces listeners to her "ride-or-die," Maria, who serves as both her indispensable personal assistant and her close confidante. Over the course of their four-year journey together at Savanna’s business, SBA, the two have weathered the challenges of a growing aesthetics practice, personal life transitions, and endless inside jokes. This episode offers a behind-the-scenes look at their friendship, working relationship, and the hilariously chaotic moments they’ve shared—making it a must-listen for fans who want to understand the real dynamics at play in Savanna’s world.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Maria’s Background and Their Origin Story

• Maria’s Florida Roots: Maria is originally from Clearwater, Florida, and fondly recalls “hurricane parties” as community bonding moments.

  “I just like [hurricanes] because growing up, like, if you’re from Florida, you know, you have, like, a hurricane party… your whole family gets together… you just get together with everybody and have a little hurricane party.” (01:22 – Maria)

• Savanna on Maria’s Impact:
  Savanna highlights Maria’s resourcefulness and importance to the business.

  “Without Maria, I feel like the world would fall apart. Like, she was gone for one day, and everyone was crashing out at the spa… Maria just knows everything.” (03:33 – Savanna)

Dynamics of Aesthetic Industry Conferences

• Hilarious commentary about how major esthetician conventions always seem to happen during the worst possible weather, and the unglamorous side compared to tech or anime conferences.

  “Vegas is, like, the hottest time of year. It’s like Satan’s breath. Florida is always during hurricane season. So bad.” (01:40 – Savanna)

Maria’s Role and Career Journey at SBA

• Started at reception before becoming the personal assistant.
• Maria initially tried being an esthetician but left the path, feeling unsupported and uninspired by previous environments.

  “A lot of the stuff that I was doing is not what Savanna does… I didn’t really have a good leader and a support system, and I feel like that drained my experience.” (07:06 – Maria)

• Maria expresses fulfillment in her current role, crediting Savanna’s leadership and their connection.

Advice, Leadership, and Setting Boundaries

• Savanna’s Best Advice:

  “You always speak about just being, like, authentically yourself. When you’re yourself, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks… The people who will be in your life will be in your life.” (08:40 – Maria)

• Leadership & Respect: Despite their closeness, Maria maintains strong professional boundaries and deep respect.

  “Even though we are very close and, like, you are my family as well, I still hold you to a pedestal of being a boss because you are such a good leader.” (10:33 – Maria)

• Handling Challenges:
  The biggest challenge is managing priorities—what Savanna sees as important may differ from Maria’s perspective.

  “Challenging… I think, you know, I try to see your vision… but I know, like, for you, something that I think is not important is important to you. So I think just challenging, like, how to balance both of those…” (13:37 – Maria)

Hilarious Stories & Memorable Moments

Favorite “Lore” and Inside Jokes

• Memories of Savanna dressing up and making signs for stunts that ended up on Reddit.
• The infamous mispronunciation of “huevos rancheros” while ordering room service, trying different accents to be understood:

  “I kept trying to, like, make different accents for it and he still didn’t understand me.” (12:43 – Maria)

• Both Savanna and Maria joking about their mutual struggles with grammar and spelling, blaming Maria’s ESL background and Savanna’s Christian schooling.

Boundary Play & Loyalty

• Frequent travel together—sharing hotel rooms and countless laughs.
• The “Maria as scapegoat” running joke:

  “If someone fucks something up, they will automatically say it was Maria or Maria knew about it because they know that I’m going to be like, okay, whatever. If it’s Maria, everyone knows that. That’s why they make her the scapegoat. Because Maria never gets… and I will never be mad at her.” (23:47 – Savanna)

Most Challenging Moments

• Maria’s one mistake: almost giving Savanna Xanax instead of Zoloft after surgery.

  “That was because you were trying to give me Xanax instead of Zoloft. I would have been done for the day.” (24:08 – Savanna)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On their long-term working relationship:

  “She’s my longest employee… stood by my side through thick and thin. We’ve had everyone quit. We’ve had everything burned to the ground and rebuilt. She’s been with me just again, through everything.” (26:03 – Savanna)

• On what keeps Maria at SBA:

  “You. Just you. You’re a good leader, good support system.” (09:32 – Maria)

• On shared anxiety & stress:

  “I feel like I can’t be my best if I have something lingering over my head, even if it’s the smallest thing.” (14:10 – Savanna)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 00:05 – 03:00: Introduction, Maria’s background, and funny “hurricane party” talk.
• 03:00 – 06:00: Maria’s role at SBA, how she became indispensable, and their history.
• 07:00 – 09:30: Why Maria didn’t continue as an esthetician; Savanna’s advice on authenticity and relationships.
• 10:30 – 13:30: Maintaining professional boundaries, best/funniest moments working together.
• 13:37 – 14:41: Most challenging aspects of working with Savanna.
• 17:30 – 20:00: Hilarious travel and elevator confrontation stories.
• 23:15 – 24:10: What Maria looks forward to in life and career.
• 24:08 – 25:34: Maria’s biggest “mistake” with medication mix-up.
• 26:03 – 26:49: Reflections on their relationship, trust, and “abandonment wounds.”

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Episode Tone and Style

True to Savanna’s trademark voice—irreverent, candid, and affectionately chaotic—the episode mixes heartfelt appreciation with self-deprecating humor. Maria’s warmth and humility balance Savanna’s quick wit, resulting in an episode that feels like eavesdropping on two best friends who have been through it all.

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Closing Reflection

This episode not only pulls back the curtain on what makes Savanna’s business (and life) run smoothly but also on the emotional backbone that longtime friendship provides. Both hilarious and touching, it’s a celebration of loyalty, growth, and the small-yet-massive ways talented women boost each other up every day.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Blondest podcast. I have a special guest today, Titi, AKA Maria. Maria is my personal assistant, but most importantly, a very, very dear friend of mine and someone who has been in my life for a really long time. Say hi.

[A]

Hi, guys. I was just telling Savannah I feel like I'm reporting for, like, my school news.

[B]

Sweetie.

[A]

I really feel that way.

[B]

I know she was a news reporter in middle school. Or was it high school?

[A]

Middle school.

[B]

That's even cuter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's precious.

[A]

I think. I wouldn't do that in high school.

[B]

It's her first time on the podcast. She's been with me for four years now, and she finally made it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She just had to get comfortable. Yeah, it's a little nervous.

[A]

I feel like this is, like, the next step in our relationship.

[B]

It really is. It's just making us even closer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'll tell you guys a little bit about Maria, even though you probably know everything, because we actually apparently talk about you a lot on the podcast. You get mentioned a lot. In a good way. Never bad. So Maria is originally from Florida. Clearwater. Girly Tampa. She loves hurricanes.

[A]

Fun fact.

[B]

She finds them peaceful.

[A]

I just like them because growing up, like, if you're from Florida, you know, you have, like, a hurricane party, and, like, you. Your whole family gets together, and it's, like, one of, like, the few times where you really can't go anywhere else because you have to, like, stay home. So, like, you just get together with everybody and you have a little hurricane party.

[B]

Like, we could die, but let's drink.

[A]

Yeah. Like, it's fine.

[B]

I love that for you. And then every time we go to Florida, for which I've talked about this on the podcast, but these esthetician conventions, they pick the worst time of year every place, because I know it's, like, lower cost and, like, it's so expensive to rent out these big conferences. And, like, obviously, like, our industry is big, but it's not as big as, like, tech or whatever the hell. They have, like, anime. Like, those anime conferences, they bring in millions of dollars. Like, we don't bring in that much at an aesthetic conference. It's really more about networking than, like, you know, people buy stuff, but it's not like that. But anyway, long story long, Vegas is, like, the hottest time of year. It's like Satan's breath. Horrible. Florida is always during hurricane season. So bad. So that, like, one year, like, we didn't even get to go because there was a hurricane, and then one Time there was, like, sandbags.

[A]

We just barely missed it. We left, like, the day that we checked out of our hotel. It got evacuated because of the hurricane.

[B]

Yeah. And then New York, it's just, like, the shittiest weather. Like, it's just rainy and dreary, and you can't see anything. Like, really cold, too. Really cold. So I guess that's what keeps you in the conference. I guess if they did it also, it's kind of strategic, because if they did it when it was, like, good weather and you could be at the beach instead of the conference, and you could be, like, outside in Vegas or, like, on the streets of New York, like, you probably wouldn't go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I guess it keeps, like, people there. But anyway, hurricanes. She's allergic to mangoes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's another fun fact. Maria can speak Spanish, which is amazing. She is bilingual, which is very handy all the time for us, especially in Texas. Cause a lot of our clients speak Spanish or their mothers speak Spanish and they want to bring their moms in. And I can understand it. I know keywords. But am I fluent? Absolutely the hell not. And so Maria is really great at that. And then what else? I think my favorite thing about Maria, we just had dinner together last night. I was telling her this. She is, like, such a go getter, and she just figures things out, which makes everyone's life so easy. Like, without Maria, I feel like the world would fall apart. Like, she was gone for one day, and everyone was crashing out at the spa. They're like, maria knows this. Maria. Maria did this. Maria knows how to do this. And I'm like, damn. Like, really just, like, showed you as, like, a cute player.

[A]

Oh, that's so sweet. That makes me feel so wanted.

[B]

You were so wanted. I literally started telling people. I was like, if Maria's not at the office, I'm not fucking working. Like, I will take the day off, too. So I'm, like, not gonna tell her she can't go anywhere. I'm just not gonna go to work because Maria just knows. She's been with me the longest. Like, she's been through so many transitions with me, so many different phases of life. Like, she got high. I literally hired her while I was in bed breastfeeding Cyrus over FaceTime. I was on my maternity leave when you got hired. So she's seen Cyrus grow up. She's seen me go through so many personal challenges, professional challenges. And, like, we were literally talking about this building that we're in now. I'll let you talk. I Feel like I'm talking a lot.

[A]

No, it's okay. I like it.

[B]

She's like, keep talking. But I would, like, would send you stuff on LoopNet, like, all the time, and I'd be like, just wait till we're in the new space. Just wait till we're in the new space. And it's just so crazy that, like, you know, that was a process her and I started together. Like, we looked at spaces. Like, we dreamed about this together. Like, I talked about it with her so many times, my ideas and, like, it's just so cool that you got to see it, like, all the way through.

[A]

Yeah. No, it's literally so crazy. I started when I was 21, and I'm turning 26 next month.

[B]

That's crazy. Her birthday was, like, really quick after you got hired. Yeah. I was, like, literally the first outing actually, that I had. Yeah. Since having Cyrus, like, my first social thing. The first time I ever left the house without Cyrus was your birthday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I had to pump in the bathroom. Yeah.

[A]

And you were a little late because you hit the pole.

[B]

Are we shocked? My house manager, Elizabeth, she's had. She's only been with us. How long do you think she's worked for me? Like, three months. Yeah, a little over three months. We've had my car fixed twice because I've hit things. And she was like, can you please not hit anything else? It's just.

[A]

It's just you.

[B]

That's because I've been, like, adventuring in Dallas, and I usually was working home, and now that I'm, like, single and, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Trying to, like, actually have a life outside of work, there's more opportunities for things to get hit. And I'm sober, too, which I don't know if that makes things worse or better. I think it's more embarrassing, but it's more, like, ethical.

[A]

And your defense. Driving in Dallas is really hard.

[B]

It's really hard.

[A]

Like, it's hard.

[B]

It's a hard time. There was this Starbucks next to the hotel that we stayed at for New Year's Eve. I don't know how people get in there. The one on Oakland. Have you seen that one?

[A]

No.

[B]

You've seen it. Maybe it's one that, like, it looks nice.

[A]

It looks nice.

[B]

It's like wood on the outside. And there's, like, a veterinarian. It's next to. Remember when I wanted to get that spot on Oakland for sba, and I was like. And then they'd made it an urgent care. I think a couple buildings past that and then Zoe used to live at that apartment building, like, across the street.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[B]

And then it's like, the neighborhood.

[A]

Yeah, I do know exactly where that is now.

[B]

Horrible idea of how they, like.

[A]

Yeah. On that street is, like, really squished together.

[B]

It's really scary. Okay, so we have some questions for you. Okay. Why don't you want to be an esthetician anymore?

[A]

I tried it. I was for a while when I was in Florida, and I just didn't love it. I don't know. I mean, a lot of the stuff that I was doing is not what Savannah does. I was doing a lot of, like, cool sculpting and thermivas and, like, clear and brilliant. I was doing more of that stuff. And the injector that I worked for, she didn't really care about the aesthetic side. She was really focused on, like, her side. So she made things very difficult for me. Like, she didn't have any protocols for any of the stuff that we did. So I basically just, like, made everything up, like, for the esthetician that's there now. So I just didn't really have a good leader and a support system, and I feel like that drained my experience. But I just. I don't think it's, for me, love, that.

[B]

I don't. I wanted to be an est.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I tried, but I love you as my personal assistant. Like, I don't think anyone else, like, you're, like, perfect for that. So she started at reception, and then this job came up. Actually, I feel like you were the person that told me in the beginning that I needed a personal assistant, and then I hired someone. I think. I think, yeah, you for sure were pushing for it, because they're like, fucking. Stop asking everyone else to do stuff, like, get a personal assistant. I mean, our business had just grown so fast. Like, when you were with me, like, especially, like, I feel like the catapult of my career was having Cyrus. Like, yeah, everything got so busy. Okay, someone wants to know the best advice I've ever given you.

[A]

You give really good advice, but I think the best advice you've ever given me, I don't think it's been necessarily, like, something that I was, like, needing or asking in the moment, but, like, I think, like, on stage one time, just. You always speak about just being, like, authentically yourself. And, you know, like, when you're yourself, like, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Like, the people who will be in your life will be in your life. Like, you don't need to Change for anyone.

[B]

I love that. That's a good one. And then I also told you never to get married.

[A]

Yeah, she did.

[B]

I was like, if you don't like him now, you're not gonna like him in five years. So it's like. Yeah, that's really good advice, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. What's something that keeps you at SBA instead of moving on to entrepreneurship?

[A]

You.

[B]

So sweet. I love that. Yeah.

[A]

Just you, You're a good leader, good support system.

[B]

Like, I love you.

[A]

Love you too.

[B]

So sweet. What's your favorite cleanser?

[A]

Oh, what is my favorite cleanser? I think ultra gentle cleanser by Face Reality.

[B]

Love her. Yeah. One of my favorite things is it took me four years to get you to, like, not sleep in your makeup. No, it's like a once a year thing. If that. But you're so good now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or maybe you just won't tell me anymore.

[A]

I did it last night, but that was like, the first time I've done it this week. I'm getting better.

[B]

I don't claim her. So fun. What did you do last night?

[A]

We went to dinner. I was tired.

[B]

That's crazy. Maria. Okay, what's it like having me as a boss?

[A]

Having you as a boss, I feel like because I see you as my boss, I've never lost that respect for you. You know, even though, like, we are very close and, like, you are my family as well, I still, like, hold you to a pedestal of being a boss because you are such a good leader.

[B]

So sweet. That's something I love a lot about you too, is like, I feel like in the past I've had employees that I got, like, personal with, maybe, like, didn't hang out with them every second. Like, you are so integrated in my personal life. Like, you know everything about me. Like, you travel with me so obviously, like, I'm naked half the time you see me. Like, I'm trying on clothes in front of you. Like, and you have, like, always, like, when we're at work, we're at work, but then when we have fun, we have fun. And, like, that's. It's really boundary, like. Yeah, I love that. That's so sweet. What is your favorite moment of any lore that you've gone through with me? Gosh. I was thinking.

[A]

I knew this question was going to come up, and I've been thinking about it. I have so many.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think my number one, I really miss when you would, like, dress up as things and go on the streets and, like, make your signs and then we'd like, show up on some Reddit page being like. And someone be like, what day is it? Those are really good ones. Those always made me laugh a lot. What else? I can't think.

[B]

I know. I'm trying to think, too of, like, my favorite things that have happened. I feel like there's just. I feel like we just. We laugh so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My favorite is just one of my favorites was when you were on the phone. This is recent. That's why I remember it. Where were we? We were in West Palm. And you're on the phone. Was it huevos ranchero?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's on the menu. And she's like, calling down. And the guy has no fucking clue what Maria's saying. So she's saying it like seven different ways. She's using, like, different to. She's going a little more high pitched with her voice a little deeper. She's like, cuevo rancheros. Yeah.

[A]

I think I was saying it with like. Because I was saying, like, huevos rancheros, like, Spanish. And he was like, what? And I was like, Wibbles were like. I kept trying to, like, make different accents for it and he still didn't understand me.

[B]

Oh, that's so funny.

[A]

That was a good one.

[B]

My other favorite thing is that heard I like the most, like, illiterate, mispronounced people. Like, both were, like, the exact same when it comes to, like, if we have to pronounce or spell anything or have good grammar, it's not going to happen.

[A]

And my excuse is that English is my second language.

[B]

I went to a Christian school that cared more about teaching me about God than grammar. That's my excuse.

[A]

I didn't learn English until, like, kindergarten.

[B]

I didn't learn anything except God until kindergarten. Oh, my God. Okay, this is a good one. What's the most challenging part about working for me or with me? Be honest.

[A]

Challenging. I think priorities.

[B]

That's fair.

[A]

Like, I think, you know, like, obviously I try to see your vision and, like, what needs to be done first and what seems to like, for the business to be more important. But I know, like, for you, like, something that I think is not important is important to you. Yeah. So I think just challenging, like, how to balance both of those.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And trying to, like, get both done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As fast.

[B]

I'll say you and Lauren are really patient with me. Tyler is not patient with me when it comes to that. But you guys are really patient because it's true. It's like, I feel like I can't be my best if I have something Lingering over my head, even if it's, like, the smallest thing. Like, I'm like, oh, I need to take my meds first before I can do this. Or, like, I need to. I don't even know. Some stupid thing that does not matter at all. But, like, if I have it over my head that, like, I haven't done it yet, like, I have to do it before I can, like, do the big stuff. It's like, I like to. Like, if it's in my head, I just have to do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't like being like that either. That's why I tell Tyler. I'm like, you think I like this? I don't. I don't like having this brain. Like, it makes my life ten times harder. Like, I wish I had a normal brain. I don't. There's no way to fix that. I think he's late because he went to Chick Fil A. What? Come here. We can't hear you.

[C]

I'm stealing TT's mic. I was late because I gave a very serious warning to Savannah's home builder that he needs to look at every line, every corner, every arch with an eye that no one else in this world has, or Savannah will go back to square one. I was just telling him about our experience. And funny enough, Jana told me that Slavic went to the house, and a lot of the things that we're dealing with right now, he noticed in the house. And so Jeff is correcting things right now. So just so you know, when you've been saying, I don't know if that.

[B]

Makes me feel better or worse, that's what I said.

[C]

Because when you said that to Jeff today, like, can you come inspect it? Janet. Janet had told me that before, and she looked at me and she laughed because she was like, only she knew. I think it's a normal thing. Unfortunately, whether for good or for bad, I don't know.

[B]

I'm gonna ask Jason to take a look.

[C]

Who's Jason? Oh.

[A]

Yeah. Well, he did tell me. He's like, I don't think. I think everything she thinks is valid because whenever we showed him that cabinet, he was like, that looked insane.

[B]

Yeah, it was insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay, next question. Yeah, I think that is my downfall and my. Like, sometimes I get, like, a little spiraly once in a while. I like it, like, really stressed out and crash out a little bit. Not in a mean way. I'm not mean to anyone. It's just more of, like. I just, like, remember when I would used to sit and make you, like, listen to my list of, like, all the things I'm stressed about. And I'd read it to you. Yeah, I haven't done that in a long time.

[A]

Yeah, right? Yeah, I don't. I don't think you have.

[B]

I did that to Tyler, too. I would make notes, and I would, like, sit and be like, can you just. I'm like, I don't want you to fix any of this. I just want you to listen. And I would just go through, like, a list of everything that was making me, like, stressed out or upset in my life, and it'd be like, an unorganized drawer in the kitchen. My loveless marriage, My dog pisses on the floor.

[A]

Not Fitzy.

[B]

Yeah, not Fitzy. Okay, what's your favorite product at SBA?

[A]

Hi. Syn active.

[B]

She loves.

[A]

I love high syn active highs. And active also saved me, like, 400 because my dog had a hot spot. Spot, and I sprayed it on him every single day. And then when I took him to the vet, they're like, oh, my God. Like, we've never seen a dog with a hot spot that doesn't have any bacteria on it. Like, it didn't have, like, an infection or anything, so it works.

[B]

That's amazing. Yeah, we love to see that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Savannah's worst moment. I know what it is. I don't know if you'll remember, but if you don't remember, it's gonna be crazy. I know. You know, that's, like, the only moment I've ever scared you.

[A]

No, you have to tell me.

[B]

When I lit that paper on fire.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That was really bad.

[B]

She didn't have to clean up my throat. She did it. And I felt so bad, and I was so upset that she did it, but I was, like, so thankful that wasn't bad. And I wasn't even drunk. I had half a martini and, like, literally just got anxious and was like. Yeah, just came out of me.

[A]

No, I think what you burned, too was also your stress list that you had just read to me.

[B]

She was a little pyro.

[A]

Yeah. And then she just, like, put it in the candle, and then it, like.

[B]

Lit up in flames.

[A]

It was just, like, burning.

[B]

That was crazy. Remember, we all thought we had carbon monoxide poisoning at the spa.

[A]

We were like, hope you don't. We're weak.

[B]

We all felt horrible, and we had to go get a monitor, and then it was, like, fine. Yeah. There was something happening in that spa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I swear, we're, like, in the world that day.

[A]

Like, something was off.

[B]

Yeah. I'm trying to think about my favorite memories of you. There's so many.

[A]

But we just live so many lifetimes together.

[B]

It's so hard. I mean, four years, man. It's like a lot of lore. Like, so many things. I think I just. I think some of your favorite ones in mine, too, is, like, when we're traveling and I'm just, like, unhinged in the Ubers and say weird to them.

[A]

Oh, also when we were at Monarch and we were, like, in the elevator, and I don't know what this girl said to you, but you, like, crashed out on her.

[B]

Do you remember? Almost fought her.

[A]

I forgot what you said. I think she was like, no, because.

[B]

No, this is what happened. I remember this. Wait, you were in the elevator for that? And Tyler was. And Marlo. Right. Wait, was this with. When Lance wouldn't defend me in the elevator, and I, like, freaked out because that guy. That girl is trying her get. Trying to get her husband to fight Lance. Olivia. So the whole thing? Yeah. So am I even asking you? Because you didn't even listen, but I don't know.

[A]

Was I there? No, I didn't hear the story.

[B]

Really? You heard about it?

[A]

I was like, was I there?

[B]

Actually, I think the only elevator incident you've ever had is when I, like, I farted in the elevator.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. No, she.

[B]

No, this was.

[A]

Or New York. I think it was in New York at the Equinox. Like, the Hudson Yards thing after Airlace.

[B]

And it accidentally came out and then the elevator door shut. We had to go, like, 50 floors.

[A]

No, she waited until it shut.

[B]

It wasn't stinky, just loud. Okay. No, the elevator story was New Year's Eve a couple years ago. And remember, the elevator was broken, Tyler. And so, like, we kept pressing it and it would open, and so, like, if we pressed it, then the people couldn't go up. And so it kept opening and opening and opening. And then the lady was like, the fucking elevator's broken. Don't fucking press the button again. And I was like, no worries. Got you. And then we stopped pressing it, and it continued open so it would never go up. And so then she was like, motherfuckers, I told you not to fucking press the elevator button and start screaming at me. And I was like, nobody press it. She's like, yeah, you fucking bitches, like, pressed it. Da, da, da, da, da. She's like, come on, get your ass in this elevator, like, if you're gonna keep fucking pressing the button. And I was like, I. I'LL go in and you'll see that it's gonna open again. And so we all get in there. There's no one else in the. In the area. And it keeps opening. And I was like, you can say sorry. She goes, there the fuck I am going to say sorry. And, like, just crashed out at me. And I was like, I don't know. I mouthed off to her, too. And then, like, she was trying to get her man to fight Lance, and then Lance, like, would not do anything. Shocking. Yeah, Let me get attacked by a monkey. Let me get beat. My fucking ass on New Year's Eve. Tyler was not even paying attention. Marlo. Both of them fucking oblivious that I was about to get, like, dragged by the hair.

[C]

In the bathroom.

[B]

Yeah. So that's fun.

[A]

I know you crashed out on someone at our Monarch thing.

[B]

It was the girls that were being me. Yeah. It was the girls that were being mean. And they're like, y' all are taking a stinky fat. It was because we were taking pictures with that thing. And she was being so mean. And then I, like, yelled at her.

[A]

Yeah, that was good.

[B]

I don't really defend myself, but I defend others.

[A]

Remember when I got drunk at your birthday and I was crying with the cowboy hat?

[B]

I do remember that.

[A]

I know you don't remember that.

[B]

Yeah. Tyler was also throwing up. Tyler was. Had both ends of it happening on my birthday. Yeah. That's crazy. It was really crazy. Yeah. Wow. What memories. I'm trying to think of any other really great questions to ask Maria. What are you most looking forward to in your career and in life?

[A]

In life, I think just finding things that I love. Like the conversation we had yesterday. I feel like I've always lived for other people. So I feel like now I'm living for myself in my career. I don't know. I guess just seeing where else all these eras will take us. And to be by your side.

[B]

Love you. Love you the fucking best. The fucking best. Everyone knows. Tt's my favorite.

[A]

Don't say that.

[B]

It is true. Everyone knows. Everyone knows that we literally talked about how everyone. If someone fucks something up, they will automatically say it was Maria or Maria knew about it because they know that I'm going to be like, okay, whatever. If it's Maria, everyone knows that. That's why they make her the scapegoat. Because Maria never gets. And I will never be mad at her.

[A]

You have been mad at me one.

[B]

Time, and that was because you're trying to give me Xanax instead of Zoloft. I would have been done for the day. If you give me two bars, babe.

[A]

She didn't take them.

[B]

That's the only time I've ever been like, Maria. Yeah, I guess it's good.

[A]

I mean, I don't know.

[B]

Drag at 9am Two full bars.

[A]

Yeah, that is true.

[B]

Like, why do I. Why, why am I all of a sudden can't work?

[A]

You still told someone that you took those?

[B]

I'm trying to go home. Maria, stop. It was a good. It was good. I was like, oh my God. Maria accidentally gave me Xanax. Said to this, I have to leave. But it was because I came back to work too early after my breast thing and I was doing this like a treatment. And they're like, um. The softwave was extremely heavy. Like I could not physically hold this soft wave. And Lauren was going to finish it off for me, but I just felt like awkward, like doing an Irish goodbye. And so I was like, you know what? God did this for a reason. To where you almost drugged me.

[A]

In hindsight, maybe you should have taken the Zach.

[B]

I would have not. I couldn't have driven home.

[A]

I could have driven you.

[B]

That's true. You could have driven me. That is funny. That's so funny. I know. I think that's the only time I've ever actually been mad at you. I'm thinking really hard. No, that's it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wasn't even mad. I was just more like afraid for my life. Do you have any closing thoughts? She has to go to pickleball. She's a pickleball queen.

[A]

Yeah, I haven't gone in a while. Yeah.

[B]

Are you, like, good at it?

[A]

Yeah, I'm actually getting really good. No, no closing thoughts. All right.

[B]

We love you guys. Happy Monday. I'm so glad you got to meet such a special person in my life. If you follow my Instagram, you've obviously seen Maria a million times, but, yeah, she's my longest employee. The one that stood by my side through thick and thin. We've had everyone quit. We've had everything burned to the ground and rebuilt. She's been with me just again, through everything. And I told her this last night, but like, she single handedly healed so many abandonment wounds that I had. Like when she first started working for me, like, I always thought everyone hated me, everyone was mad at me, everyone was going to leave. Like I said, such anxiety. I never have to like, question where we stand. And I think as like we've grown together, like we just kind of intuitively understand each other without having to talk sometimes, which is really cool.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I can finally read.

[B]

Your brain only four years in. Yeah, it's a hard brain to read. And sometimes it's scary in there. Don't let it rub off on you. It's a little bit scary. Okay. I love you. Have fun at pickleball.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Everyone, say bye to Maria.