A Beautiful Anchorman

Summary

The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna: Episode Summary - "A Beautiful Anchorman"

Release Date: June 2, 2025

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1. Hosts' Current Updates

The episode kicks off with Sarah Colonna welcoming listeners and updating them on Jon Ryan’s recent activities. Jon has been away for the week and is preparing for a trip to Vancouver, Canada. Sarah humorously corrects him when he misstates his plans, highlighting their playful dynamic.

• Jon Ryan’s Trip: Jon mentions he’s attending a flag football tournament in Canada for the Seahawks, joking about his role being to "shake babies and kiss hands" (00:54).

• Dinner Plans: They plan to dine at Malomo Pono, a restaurant in Sherman Oaks, despite the scorching 97-degree weather, emphasizing their reluctance to walk due to the heat (01:38).

2. Current Reads and Future Book Picks

Sarah and Jon discuss their current reading lists, providing insights into their literary preferences and upcoming selections.

• Current Reads:

  • Sarah: Reading A Beautiful Couple by Leslie Wolf, which she praises for its intricate twists (03:42).
  • Jon: Currently three-quarters through The Book of Silver Linings by Nan Fisher, appreciating its unpredictable storyline (04:31).

• Upcoming Picks:

  • July Read Announcement: Although not ready to announce, Jon hints at a special selection for July, set to be revealed on their Instagram and Facebook group, Book List Spinners (06:47).

3. In-Depth Discussion on "A Beautiful Couple"

The heart of the episode revolves around their impressions of A Beautiful Couple by Leslie Wolf, exploring themes and character dynamics without revealing spoilers.

• Plot Overview: The book centers on Paul, a beloved local news anchor who, despite appearing happy, harbors dark secrets. Sarah highlights the duality of the couple’s public persona versus their private turmoil (09:08).

  • Sarah Colonna: “Everyone thinks they're happy. Shit's going down behind the scenes. They're beloved in their community. But people think they have this nice life and they don't. They're miserable and... one of them’s a murderer or whatever” (09:15).

• Jon Ryan’s Take: Jon appreciates the book’s immediate dive into intense plotlines, mentioning that murder occurs within the first ten pages, keeping readers engaged from the start (10:35).

• Themes Discussed:

  • The illusion of the perfect couple in Malibu.
  • The impact of unhappy marriages on children, with Sarah advocating against staying in toxic relationships for the sake of family image (14:07).

4. Stories from Their Experiences with Morning Shows and Local News

Both hosts share entertaining anecdotes from their time hosting or appearing on local morning television shows, drawing parallels to the book's protagonist.

• Sarah’s Morning Show Experiences:

  • Describes the professionalism of local TV hosts and the unpredictability of live segments, such as promoting her comedy shows seamlessly amidst breaking news (16:36).
  • Recounts a memorable on-air bridal shower in Chicago, highlighting the unexpected joys of live TV (29:09).

• Jon’s Morning Show Memories:

  • Recounts hosting morning shows in various cities, interacting with local celebrities, and the challenges of maintaining professionalism during unexpected events (17:35).

• Shared Experiences:

  • Both discuss the rigidness and occasional absurdity of local morning shows, emphasizing the importance of flexibility and humor in live settings (21:48).

5. John’s Anecdote: Airplane Story

A standout moment in the episode is Jon’s humorous and relatable story about a frustrating experience on an airplane, illustrating his knack for storytelling.

• The Incident: Jon recounts sitting in seat 1C, only to have a couple upgraded to seats 1A and 1D. Their confusion and Tomfoolery—pretending not to recognize their actual seats—led to an uncomfortable situation (36:26).

  • Jon Ryan: “The girl was so nice that she goes, okay, I'll take the window. But... that's bullshit. You know full well what you're doing” (40:42).

• Resolution: Sarah and Jon discuss the importance of asserting one’s rightful seat while maintaining politeness, turning the story into a comedic lesson on handling such scenarios (42:00).

6. Community Engagement and Upcoming Events

Towards the end, Sarah and Jon engage with their community, promoting their Patreon for exclusive content and announcing upcoming events.

• Patreon Content: They offer short story recaps and bonus podcasts, including 11 Numbers by Lee Child, available exclusively to Patreon supporters (07:29).

• Upcoming Live Event: Announcement of a live appearance on July 18th in Salem, Oregon, at the Grand Theater, inviting listeners to join them in person (46:22).

7. Notable Quotes

• Sarah Colonna: “I need it to bring it on home at the end because there's a lot going on” (04:41).

• Jon Ryan: “Are you gonna watch your Friends and Neighbors finale tonight?... I go back to my hotel now. I'm gonna watch it because we're going out to dinner Friday” (12:00).

• Sarah Colonna: “Don't stay in a very unhappy marriage because that. For your children, because then your children are going to think, oh, that's what marriage is” (14:07).

• Jon Ryan: “If you're both in windows, and then... so there's two aisle people between you. If you would like to sit together. Sure. You can ask” (41:22).

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Conclusion

"A Beautiful Anchorman" offers listeners a blend of literary discussion, personal anecdotes, and humorous exchanges between Sarah Colonna and Jon Ryan. Their camaraderie and diverse experiences provide a rich, engaging narrative that delves deep into the themes of their current read while entertaining with real-life stories and practical advice. Whether you’re a regular listener or new to The Book Lisp, this episode promises insightful conversations and relatable humor that resonate with a wide audience.

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This summary incorporates key discussions, insights, and notable quotes from the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.

[B]

And I'm John Ryan.

[A]

And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.

[B]

The Book Lisp.

[A]

Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. Hi, John.

[B]

Hey, girl.

[A]

John. John has been gone all week and he just got home this morning. So we have seen each other for a couple hours. We're in the same house per usual because we live together.

[B]

Until tomorrow.

[A]

Until tomorrow when he's going to. You're going to Vancouver.

[B]

Vancouver, Canada?

[A]

Yes. We're recording this a couple days ahead. That's the magic of podcasting. And John, what are you going to Vancouver for?

[B]

I'm doing some work for the Seahawks. We are attending a flag football tournament in Canada and I'm going to be there to shake babies and kiss hands.

[A]

I think it's kiss babies and shake hands.

[B]

Not the way I do it, girl.

[A]

Stupid, stupid. So he's home for one night. We're going to record. We're recording right now. We're going to go out to a little dinner. In a moment. Malomo Pono at Malama Pono, which is this really. If you guys are in the Sherman Oaks neighborhood ever. The one that we don't leave, this one is actually. We have to Uber to it, to be honest.

[B]

It's a five minute Uber. But yeah, yeah, it's on the, the, the, the. The outskirts of where we like to go.

[A]

Yeah. You know that we like to walk around in our neighborhood. But I will say we could walk to it, but it would be a long walk. And it's also 97 degrees outside, so.

[B]

It'S probably not quite two miles.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it is literally. It's literally 97 degrees today.

[A]

But it is a beautiful restaurant. They have such good food. I didn't. I still don't even know what Hawaiian food is, but I like this restaurant.

[B]

I think there is a lot of, like Spam in Hawaiian food. We never order the Spam. Maybe I'll order the Spam on crispy rice tonight.

[A]

You go ahead.

[B]

Yeah, I think I might.

[A]

I'm gonna stick with the scallops. Maybe the crab cake.

[B]

Growing up in Canada, we had a lot of canned ham. A lot of canned ham.

[A]

Who was the guy that was the spokesperson for that?

[B]

Remember Spam?

[A]

Yeah. Hold on, I'm gonna Google it right now while we're all looking at each other.

[B]

Spokesperson. Spam for Spam, folks.

[A]

Person. It was like, I want to say. Oh, first, what comes up. Oh, because it. It autocorrected SPCA. So then it just showed me Sarah McLachlan. But remember the commercials? No, no, not Bob commercials. It wasn't.

[B]

Well, that would. That would check out if it's Bob Euchre.

[A]

But anyway, it doesn't matter. I can't find it and I'm not going to do this to you guys. So. Welcome to the Book List with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. We need to pick up the pick pace a little and start doing the podcast. John. So we are here. It is our first week of June, and we are reading A Beautiful Couple by Leslie Wolf, which I blew through, by the way. Loved, loved, loved, love this book. It's got twists within a twist and then a twist, and I like that.

[B]

Oh, okay. Well, I'm only a quarter way through, so I'm still learning.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you're still learning. I'm. I'm way past you. I've read two books since I finished this one.

[B]

Well, now I got hooked on another book since we started that and then another book. So I have, like. It's like number four in the queue right now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I'm traveling a lot. I'm traveling a lot right now, so I'm reading a lot.

[A]

So what are you reading? Just so everyone knows, I like to. We like to talk about what we're reading other than for the book Lisp, obviously. It's. It's just a beautiful couple. And John, you actually were probably supposed to announce your July read today.

[B]

I know, but I'm not ready yet. I'm not quite ready.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I am reading a book by one of our listeners. One of our listeners. She wrote it. Her name is Nan Fisher. It's called the Book of Silver Linings.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I'm about three quarters of the way through, and I don't know how it's going to end. I like it so far. I need. I need it to. I need to bring it on home at the end because there's a lot going on.

[A]

Okay. Oh, I like that.

[B]

I like that. I'm like 75% of the way done.

[A]

And I also downloaded one of her books, too. I haven't started it yet because I'm finishing A Perfect Marriage by Geneva Rose, which is real fucking crazy. And then. So I had already started that before I downloaded Nan Fisher's book. And do you remember the name of the one that I. I don't, but.

[B]

It was like a psychological thriller, I believe.

[A]

Yeah, she. Some of it was real. That's the One that I downloaded. Yeah, you read and you have the Book of Silver Linings.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's more of like a romantic. Well. Well, she knew.

[A]

She was like, these two are. This is gonna be good for you, and this is gonna be good for you. So just so you know, check her out.

[B]

Romantic. But maybe not. I don't know yet. I mean, there was some romance in it, but now it's very, you know, going the other way.

[A]

Okay. Talking to the microphone.

[B]

Okay. I am. I was stirring my drink. I have. I was just looking here.

[A]

He's been. He's been away all week and had no drinks. And so he's having an Old Fashioned while we record.

[B]

I haven't had a drink all week. Pretty good.

[A]

I know. Celebrating with an old Fashioned, stirring.

[B]

When you work, when you work at a baseball park, like I do eight hours a day, all there is. There is alcohol, and I did not have a drink all week. So it's basically like, you're a hero. I deserve a Pulitzer Prize or a World Peace Prize or something. What's the word? Nobel Peace Prize.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

So I'm just saying I'm looking at my queue right now because I started reading Chelsea Handler's book and I got like, halfway through, and then I had to read all these other books. So she's. Her book is there, like, halfway through. And then I have Jeremy Renner's new. Obviously, Jeremy Renner's new autobiography. And then I have a woman named Debbie Macomber. She writes Christmas books, so obviously. Oh, wow.

[A]

I didn't know about that.

[B]

I mean, it is like. And then I started reading Cher's autobiography. So things. You keep on getting pushed back and back and back. But I have quite the. Quite the list in the queue here.

[A]

Okay, well, just don't be concerned. He will have a book pick for you for July because I know people like to be ahead and libraries and all that. So he will announce it during this week, which you're listening to right now, during the first week of June before our second week of the podcast. Yes, John, Yes. Okay, so. And we'll announce it on Instagram at the Book Lisp. And also in the Book List Spinners, our Facebook group, we keep a features tab that tells you everything. And for our Patreon, where we do short stories as well as other little random fun podcasts, we are doing Lee Child. What's the name of the book, babe?

[B]

11 numbers.

[A]

11 numbers. So every 15th day of the month, we do a short story recap. And they're very Short so that you can keep up with everything. And that is for June. It is 11 numbers by Lee Child. Kind of breaking out of our norm a little bit. And that's what we do on Patreon. We have a lot of fun. It's only $5 a month, so join us if you can support us there.

[B]

And that will. That will come out on the 15th, which is father's Day, which Sarah and I have a lot of time because we don't have dads.

[A]

I still have one.

[B]

Oh, my God. You're stockpiling the guys back there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know. Well, I have none.

[A]

You knew. I. We both had f. Biological fathers, as one does. And then I had a bonus dad, a stepdad who is still alive and with me. So John's trying to make it dark. I'm going to keep it light and say, my stepdad, lovely child, by the way.

[B]

And he's a great, great man. I love that.

[A]

He's. He's the best. And also, I didn't realize that was on Father's Day, which is awesome because he loves the child. My stepdad is perfect. One of the reasons I love to read so much. So. So now we're reading A Beautiful Couple by Leslie Wolf. And I have to say, as you guys know, especially if you're new here or if you're new here, we don't spoil the book, talk about the book until week four. We just talk about topics off the book, but nothing that will spoil it. Things we pull today. We are going to talk a lot about news anchors because. Yes, right. When you start this book, you know that Paul is a news anchor, a local hero, if you will, local news guy. But I just want to talk about what. So I hadn't read this book yet, so sometimes it's books that I've already read, sometimes it's not. I had not read this one yet. I had not read this author yet. But reading the reviews, scouring Goodreads, scouring Amazon, by the way, you can follow us the book list on Goodreads, too. And you'll always kind of get a peek into what, what I'm up to, because now all my books are connected to my Kindle. So, you know, you're like, oh, she's reading five books today. But it is the perfect setup. It's the perfect. This is what I. This is the kind of psychological thriller I just want to inject into my veins. It's. This is what I love. A couple, everyone thinks they're happy. Shit's going down behind the scenes. They're beloved in their community. But people think they have this nice life and they don't. They're miserable and they're. One of them's a murderer or whatever. Maybe not. Who knows? You'll find out when you get into it. But this, this is, it's my kind of setup for a book. So even if I didn't end up loving it, but I did, I still would have been happy with the trajectory. Right. With like the setup that, that the author gave me.

[B]

Well, the good thing is with this book because I'm not done it yet. I'm only 25 or 30% into it is. There's no tomfoolery. It cuts right to the chase. We have freaking murder in the first 10 pages also. Shit go, shit goes down and then it's like races on, you know, it's not me. There's not like a 500 page setup to the murder. It happens right from the get go.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And also, you know what, when you talk about like the perfect couple, Rich, blah, blah, blah, it reminds me a little bit of your Friends and Neighbors new show on Apple that just finished. You know what I mean? Like the, the perfect couple behind. And then you don't know what's going on behind closed doors necessarily.

[A]

Yeah, that's a. By the way, if you guys aren't, if you guys didn't watch that, it's a very good, it feels like a good book. I would have sunk my teeth into. I don't think it was a book.

[B]

I think it was something wasn't. I don't, maybe, I don't know.

[A]

I might be wrong. And if it was, I'm sorry. But it, that's a great show. It's. It just. The season finale just happened and we watched it separately because John was in Portland. He did, listen, he did the nice thing he wrote me. He said, are you gonna watch your Friends and Neighbors finale tonight? This was Thursday, because that's when it comes out. And I said, if you want to watch a Friday, I, I all wait. And he goes, I, I'm going back to my hotel now. I'm gonna watch it because we're going out to dinner Friday, then he's leaving Saturday, that we would have had no time. So we check in with each other.

[B]

I got back to a hotel room last night and I had a two and a half hour dental surgery yesterday. It wasn't really a surgery, but it was. I laid in that chair for two and a half hours. The drill in my mouth and I got back to the hotel, I went to the Portland Pickles game and I had to leave in the fourth inning because I was in so much pain. I got back to the room like, okay, I'm going to go out for dinner. I couldn't even go for dinner. I couldn't watch the show. I ordered some dinner and I fell asleep at like 9:30, 10:00. I was done.

[A]

So you didn't end up watching it?

[B]

No, I watched it today on the plane.

[A]

Oh, okay. And do you think it was a good finale for the.

[B]

I thought it was great. I thought. I thought it was fantastic.

[A]

It's the first season, so, you know, you never know. But I. We really liked it. And I think if you're a fan of the stuff that we read in general, I think you would like that show. Right. But also just. It's good tv. I mean, listen, Jon Hamm kind of can't do any wrong. I'll be honest. He's just good. He's just enjoying Amanda. Pete kind of can't do any wrong. Even if her character was someone. I wanted to punch the whole show. But that's also a good thing, as we often talk about. But yeah, the setup for this book in general to me was. Was. I just love it. I love Just a couple at a gala. Guy's a piece of. He's a piece of. She's just barely hanging on at this point because she doesn't want to lose her child. Is base. Is the reason he's staying on for appearances. She's staying on because she's afraid that it'll mess up their, Their, Their children's life. Child's life. Which, by the way, never stick together for the child. Guys. No, I, I can, I can attest to if my parents stayed together, I'd be way more up than I am now. I just get. Just move on. Everything's going to be fine. I know. Easier said than done. But at the end of the day, don't stay in a very unhappy marriage because that. For your children, because then your children are going to think, oh, that's what marriage is. Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Overall, I know that every situation's not that cut and dry, but overall, let's not do that. So anyway, I love it. I love the setup. It's yet another book set in Malibu. I don't know why we keep getting Malibu.

[B]

I know. Two in a row. The boo.

[A]

Two in a row in the boo. And so we were talking about what. It's interesting because when we do these weeks leading Up. It's easier when it's John's books. Right. It's easier when John picks his book because he has the romance and the. More life.

[B]

There's a lot of topics to talk about.

[A]

Yeah. There's a lot to talk about. When you have a dark psychological thriller.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The weeks leading up to pull topics from it. You're like, what are we going to talk about? How.

[B]

Yeah. Sarah, have you ever had a daughter that's gone missing that was murdered? Let's talk about.

[A]

Gets a little. It's a little more tricky. But we always.

[B]

Your husband ever killed the housekeeper? Let's talk about it.

[A]

But we always figure it out. And we thought one very interesting piece of this book that's fun, that could be a fun light conversation is the fact that this guy is a local news anchor. Famous for it. Famous for it. And it is always. It's interesting when you think about that life in general because both John and I have worked in industries where you are constantly actually doing local morning news. As a comedian, when you're touring, you often go to do press the day before your shows. So what happens is my agent, whatever, you know, I'll have a booking for Chicago and they'll say, okay, so if you can get in Thursday morning, they're going to have you on wgn, famous station, by the way. And Jeff Hoover, the best host in all of morning television, is the host there. But they'll be like, okay, you're going to. Come on, you're going to do morning television and you're going to plug your shows because we have a bunch of viewers. So now that's. It's definitely scaled back since COVID Covid, morning radio and morning tv, those are the two things you used to be very common and now it's like nobody really bothers anymore. But. And then John, because he played for the Seattle Seahawks, you would do a lot of morning tv, right?

[B]

I used to do a lot. Yeah, I loved it. I do. What was the one. Was it Good Morning Seattle? What was the one in Seattle they used to do all the time?

[A]

Oh, I forget. Seattle.

[B]

Yes. Whatever. Something that it was. It was a lot of. I feel bad because it was like the host was a lovely lady and it was fun. Had a live TV audience and I used to do it all the time. I co hosted a couple times with her. Had a lot of fun, but it was. Yeah. So both of us have done a lot of morning talk tv and it's, it's very funny because a lot of these people, the People that we're talking about are lovely people, but a lot of the other markets and a lot of like. I don't know how to say it, there's some douchebags in this business who are behind the in because they're behind the camera. They think they're like super famous because they're in Hobonken, whatever. And, and that's kind of what this feels like in this book of this guy. He's like, I'm famous because I'm behind the camera. I do this morning show.

[A]

Yeah, he, he's definitely like the guy that is local famous, has created this charity that's supposed to be a great thing, does the acts the opposite of a charitable person.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And all these different things. So we see all that which we'll get into when we actually do the book review. Because I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't read it. But week four, but we were talking about just our interactions and things with doing these morning shows and even local shows. I know they're not, I know in the book he's not strictly a morning show guy, but it's just funny because as a comedian, you know, you, a lot of us, a lot of people sleep in. A lot of people are morning people. We do late nights. We perform until 1 o' clock in the morning when we're on the road. And then they go, oh, you have radio at 7:30 or whatever. But for me, I don't mind. I've always been. I'm kind of, I'm up early. I'm not a person that I don't really. I know a lot of comedians that'll just lock themselves in a room in their hotel and they don't leave while they're there. And they're like, I don't want to do press, I don't want to do this. Me. I'm like, where are we going? What are we doing? Let's do it. I don't care. And also whatever helps sell tickets. So. But the, the randomness of doing morning tv especially versus radio, because radio, I don't know, they, they're like, radio is.

[B]

Always a little looser.

[A]

It's looser. Yeah. Sometimes they're a little tight, but for the most part they know what they're doing. Those, those guys are looser. They're a little more. We're playing music. Yes. We're also going to report some news. But that, but morning tv, they're telling you the shit that went down when.

[B]

You were in the bed.

[A]

Right? Like they're telling you. They're telling you. I'll never forget. There was one morning. I forget what, I forget what city it was in, but I go to do this local morning news show to provoke, to promote my comedy shows locally. And I get there and I'm backstage and they go, we're just going to push you one segment because we have this local story to promote. And I go, okay. Or talk about. Not promote, but talk about. Okay. On comes a bus crash.

[B]

With children.

[A]

With children.

[B]

That's a tough act to follow.

[A]

Tough act to follow. Now, no children passed away, thank God. Then I don't. I don't know. I guess I think I just would have walked out the back door.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they, it was a. It was scary. Children were hurt. Parents are freaking out. And I'm not kidding you when I say that the host just, they just, they, they got this job and they got to do their job and then they got to move on to the next segment. So basically they were like, there was a bus crash this morning on the i95. No children were killed, but several are in the hospital. Parents are freaking out. We're still looking for the cause. Up next, we have Sarah Colonna. She's performing at the Funny Bone.

[B]

These local morning shows, they have all the talent booked a week or two in advance. Sarah Colona is going on at 7:42 to 7:47. We don't know what happened last night or this morning, but whatever it is, it's happening. Right. Ms. Smith might have lost her cat in the tree, or 20 kids might have died in a car accident. And it's going to go at 12:32. Sarah Colon is going on right after.

[A]

No matter what she's following, it's the absolute most uncomfortable thing. And look, a lot of time, most 97 of the time, I have a nice time. It's fun. Local TV hosts, they're very professional. They got this down. It's a whole. Yeah, they'll. They're all dressed up, but then they wear slippers on their feet because you can't see their feet. Yeah. And they're having a nice time, but every once in a while you have to follow a tragedy and try to plug your shows at the Funny Bone. And you know what? It's not great.

[B]

Has anyone ever done, like. I've known the. What's it called on Apple? The morning show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With Jennifer Aniston. But has anyone done like a small town one? Because, I mean, that's a more interesting. Like, we have been on a hundred different shows in a hundred different little towns. And that's really the whole story. Like that. We did my hometown show in Regina, Saskatchewan, and Sarah and I used to do all these ones in the US out of the ones in Seattle. And they, they're, you know, they're not as strict with me, but they're very, they're always very strict with Sarah because they're like comedian, like, you know, you can't swear, you can't, you know, I mean, they think that a comedian is going to go on there and just say whatever they want.

[A]

They act like we don't know what we're doing.

[B]

We do guys, which obviously they do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we go in Saskatchewan, regina, which there's 225,000 people. So it's not like small. We go to the morning show. We show up five minutes before they put the mic on us, no instruction. They're like, what do you want us to do? Like, do whatever you want. The show's three hours. Do whatever you want.

[A]

They were having us. Did you say that they're having us? They're having a host the whole time. They ask us.

[B]

Yeah, we're. We're not on for seven minutes, we're on for three hours. And there's like, do whatever you want.

[A]

It was so fun.

[B]

Oh, it was so fun. It was at one point it was.

[A]

Like, I think I have some video or photos of it. So really I'll find them and post them on the Patreon.

[B]

It was like 605 in my hometown, which is like at 6:05 and no one's even awake yet. And they have like on the, on the freeway, I'm doing quotations here because it's a two lane freeway that you can go like 50 miles, not only 45 miles an hour on. And they're like, oh, here's our CTV sky tracker. On your way to work camera or whatever. And they show it. And there's not one car on the road. Remember that? There's a, like, literally as far as the eye can see, there's not one car on the road. I was like, leave now. Go to work right now. You'll drive there in two minutes. Go right now.

[A]

Yeah. They were trying to show morning traffic and there was zero.

[B]

Like, like literally zero. And so it's funny because they're trying to make like a big city thing in a small city, which was very humorous. But also we got to do whatever we wanted for three hours. I jumped on like the weather thing one time for a few minutes. Yeah, just it was just. It was cool.

[A]

Which, by the way, is confusing as, as. As now, former co hosts of a local news TV talk show that we did once. It's a little bit confusing because you're standing in front of it, but it's behind you, but then. And then you're pointing and they're like, no, point the other way anyway.

[B]

Because it's a blue screen.

[A]

Yeah, it's a real, it's a real titty twister that those, those kids go.

[B]

To college for that.

[A]

Yeah. But, yeah, I remember just like pointing at something. I'm like, up here it's going to be like 70. And we, we had no idea what we're doing. But rules were bent to have John Ryan, a local hero there. So no big deal. I don't think anyone really cared.

[B]

No.

[A]

But it is a, it's a, it's a, it's an interesting world. Like I. You do think of these. Do you remember any local celebrities from your.

[B]

Oh, 100% I do.

[A]

Okay. Who.

[B]

100%. A guy named Bill Wright. Bill Wright was a massive celebrity in our hometown and he said he did like the news, but he was also on a morning show on every Sunday. I can't remember if it's Saturday morning or Sunday morning, but we got to once a year we had to go to live taping and watch it. And it was called Switchback. And in the whole, the whole thing was they would call someone. If they picked up the phone and said, make it quick, I'm watching Switchback. They'd get like a free bag or a free tote or whatever. So I go back to Regina.

[A]

What kind of tote?

[B]

Like just a little one that says CBC on the side. Just like a little five dollar bag, you know, that was probably.

[A]

Oh, just from the station. Not like, yeah, yeah, no, out, Dave.

[B]

We're talking about Regina.

[A]

I had my hopes up.

[B]

This was like 1992. So I go back to Saskatchewan. Bill Wright is working for the Riders. I'm playing for the Satchel and Rough Riders. And I go into the store and he's in front of me in line. Okay, this is my fucking dream. I say, hey, Bill, hurry up, make it quick. I'm watching Switchback. Boom, boom, boom. Like a dream come true. I got to use Bill Wright's line on Bill Wright.

[A]

And what did he do?

[B]

He was like, oh, I think he thought it was weird. The next day I was like, bill. It was like the next day was like a game and he's worked for the ride. I was like, bill, remember that time I did that line and he's like, oh, it was so cool. But yeah, I used. I used Bill Wright's line on Bill Wright.

[A]

So do you think that he. So just for any of that, aren't following John.

[B]

No one's following right now.

[A]

I know. Including me. John played football for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, so. And that's in the CFL Canadian Football League. So he's talking about someone who worked for the Rough Riders who used to be an announcer. So when you ran into him and you said it, did he recognize you?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. And then so he was just like, okay, dude, like we're.

[B]

Well, he was having a moment. He was like, I'm famous again.

[A]

Okay. I like it. But I remember.

[B]

I remember all the local celebrities. CC. There's a guy named CC on Z99 DeVille. No.

[A]

Do you know.

[B]

No, I don't who that is, girl.

[A]

He's in Poison. Cc, pick up that guitar and talk to me. Sing it. Here's a guitar player for Poison. Go ahead.

[B]

No, I think I'm good.

[A]

Go ahead with your CC story.

[B]

No, I'm saying I remember all the local celebrities from back the Cece and Lori and Buzz. They're on Zed 99.

[A]

There's always a Buzz. I feel like there's always a Buzz.

[B]

That's like the go to.

[A]

Yeah, someone's name is always Buzz when they're on the radio. Welcome to the morning Buzz hosted by.

[B]

Buzz, our buddy Michael Ball. What's your last name?

[A]

Buzz. Buzz.

[B]

Buzz. What was your nickname in high school? Buzz.

[A]

Buzz. What do you have right now? A Buzz.

[B]

Michael Ball was like a local celebrity back in the day. Well, he still lives a little bit.

[A]

He is. He does local. He does Rough Riders. Right.

[B]

He's no longer.

[A]

But he did the Rough Riders or he did. He covered the Rough Riders. I. All I remember from Arkansas was Ken Rank. I remember he was a weather guy. He's dead. But I will say, what was I going to say about. I. I got. I got sidetracked. Oh, yes. I have a good story about local television as a comedian. Remember when I was in. I think this was also in Chicago and it was these two women that hosted this morning show. And I hate myself for not remembering their names right now. But this is several years ago because we got married in 2016, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And this was the year before that, so 2015. So nine years ago, 10 years ago when I went to do. To plug some shows I was doing in Chicago and they threw me a bridal shower.

[B]

Yeah, they Loved you.

[A]

They threw me a bridal shower on air. It was so fun. I had no idea it was happening. And I walked in and they had like this big charcuterie board and champagne and they were like, welcome to your bridal shower, Sarah. It was like seven in the morning and I was like, what is happening? And it was so much fun.

[B]

It was better than the ones your friends actually threw you. No, I'm joking. No.

[A]

How dare. But it was. It was super fun. And that is the. The other funny thing too, about news anchors and local TV and all that is there's always something going on in the city, right? There's always a food fair or a festival or a music festival or so and so's in town. Like, I've met. I met. I met John Schneider. And I'm not talking about the coaches.

[B]

The. The John Schneider from the Duke's a hazard.

[A]

John Schneider.

[B]

You. You. Have. You sent me a picture with you and Mike Tyson in a morning show one time.

[A]

Mike Tyson and I met.

[B]

There's like, everyone goes to these morning shows. Everyone doesn't.

[A]

That was a. I think that was a Chicago one too. They all seem.

[B]

I did one. I did one in Seattle where I. I was co hosting. I interviewed Chris Pratt.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And then it was. It was very cool because all my nieces or nephews, like, two, three, four years ago, like, Uncle John, do you know Chris Pratt? Because he's from Seattle? I'm like, yeah, I know him. They're like, oh, no way. No, you didn't. Didn't happen. Unless you have pictures of whatever the kids say. I'm like, okay. I send the video of me interviewing. There's like, Uncle John's the coolest guy in the world. He interviewed Chris Pratt. I'm like, oh, my God. This is like my coolest moment that my niece and nephews actually think I'm cool for 12 seconds.

[A]

They always think you're cool. But, yes, you became cooler when you actually sh. The. Like, he's. But it is funny because people. I mean, everyone. I like doing these local morning shows or even afternoon whatever. You meet every. John Schneider, like I said, from Dukes of Hazzard, Mick Tyson, as John mentioned, Corey Feldman and I did a segment back to back.

[B]

I remember that.

[A]

Yeah, just all these random people because they're also in town play. I think. I think Corey Feldman was in town doing some kind of like horror fest or something because he did that. That. What was the vampire? Was that vampire? The Lost Boys, right?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Oh, okay, well, I think that's what he was in town doing. Doesn't matter. Anyway, you, you run into the most random people at these things. So even though you, you're kind of like doing this local show hosted by quote unquote, a local celebrity because they're, you know, they're in your TV every morning. Of course they're a local celebrity. They're. Or afternoon or evening, whatever it is, they're the people you watch every day. But they also have on these random people, like even in Arkansas now, because I do this show there called Good Day NWA Good Day Northwest Arkansas. And the host, Jason is great, he's awesome. And he has all these huge people on because there's a lot of filming that happens in Arkansas. And then Geena Davis has her film festival there. So when she's in town and there's big movies being screened at her festival, all of a sudden all these people come to Good Day NWA to plug their stuff. So they end up actually being, meeting a lot of people. And last time I was in Fayetteville, northwest Arkansas doing shows there we were. They, they had me kind of co host for the day because I think there are other, I think other co hosts got fired or something. And they were like, oh, we're just, we're kind of hiring someone else. But in the meantime, do you want to. They had fill ins. So I was hosting with Jason. I actually, I think his co host moved on to something else. But so I was cool.

[B]

The afterlife?

[A]

Yeah, no, to another show. But they, they had me do, which I, I've seen these a million times. I've actually never been part of them because I've done a lot of tv but not a lot of big movies. And when you, you know, when you're watching your local cbs, NBC, abc, whatever, and they interview like a, like a huge celebrity, like a Tom Cruise or something. Because the newest. What's the Mission Impossible? Is coming out, right? So what they do is they do these press junkets and they're sitting in a, in a studio and they're Getting interviewed by 45 different local television stations and promoting that their movie's going to be in a theater in that city. That day we did one with the guys from Planet of the Apes. Now if you want to ask me who that was, I forget, I don't watch Planet of the Apes. I don't have a problem with. It just wasn't my thing. But both the actors were huge names. Can't remember them right now. Sorry. But I never had sat through press junket like that. Because I was co hosting this morning radio that day. So on comes these two guys. Huge names. It's. It's such a better story if I had their names. Who cares? But I. I was just sitting there and I was like, oh. Because we. We're like, cutting to them and then. And you can hear someone telling them. So right now you're in Fayetteville, Arkansas, Northeast Arkansas, and you're talking to Jason and Sarah, and. And they just do this all day. That's what those press junkets are. When you see them on your local news station, that's what they are.

[B]

They're just five minutes. Five minutes. Yeah, five minutes. Omaha, five. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just like all day. And that's why everyone's crazy. Every once in a while you see them, like, kind of like a little snippy with someone. You're like, yeah. Because they just. This is the 100th interview they've done this morning. Like, literally, they sit in those seats and they just have local people ask them questions from whatever station across the country for all day.

[A]

Yeah. Which are like, listen, suck it up, buddy. You got. You're getting paid a bunch of money to do this movie. And we're. But it is. You know, these guys were super nice, and again, I can't remember who they were, but then one of them started doing the eight Voice, and I was fascinated, Fascinated by that because he was actually using his. He was actually doing his own. Doesn't matter. Anyway, what else do you have to say, John?

[B]

Well, I have a story about nothing involving this whatsoever, but it's a story that you're going to be happy with or unhappy with. Okay, well, it's a story about my airplane ride today.

[A]

Oh. So just to recap, John flew in today, like I said earlier, but he told me he had a story for me and he wanted to save it to tell me live. Yeah, I haven't told podcast, so go.

[B]

Ahead, because we've had other stories before. If you've listened to this podcast about an elderly husband and wife who, like, kind of skirted the line and acted like they didn't know where they were and kind of got in front of us and that we were angry about. So today I get on the plane. I'm 1. I'm 1C. First row, 1C. I get on first. I get in my seat. This couple comes on after me, and they're. They're doing the whole. Oh, where did we sit? Oh, my God. Oh, here we go. Oh, My God. Here's our. Oh, here, you. Oh, here, hubby, you sit here. I sit here. Do you want the window? I'll take the L. Okay. We're in one one Bl, so they sit on the other side of me. One A and one B.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because that's how the Alphabet works, right? They know what they're doing. They know exactly what they're doing.

[A]

But they're already sitting together.

[B]

Yep. 1A and 1B, and I'm 1C.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

So a girl comes on after that. Five minutes later, she goes, oh, I'm actually in 1B. Oh, what? Oh. What? We just got upgraded. We don't know. I'm one. Oh, where's your ticket, honey? Oh, here's my ticket. Oh. Oh, My God. I'm 1A and you're 1D. I thought. I thought that was beside each other. What the are you talking about? Did you not go to first grade after A becomes B and then C and then D? So you thought 1A and 1D were beside each other? No, you didn't. And second of all, babe, because they're pulling this tomfoolery, all of pulling roundabouts all over the motherfucker. They. They got upgraded. She goes, we got upgraded. So if you get upgraded, that means you fly all the time.

[A]

Right? Good.

[B]

You're at least. You're at least on Delta. You're probably at least a platinum. Sarah and I are diamond, not to brag, but you're at least a platinum. If you get upgraded, that means you fly probably 40 to 50 times a year.

[A]

That's a good point. That's a good point to make out in this story. Because, you know, every once in a while, it can be a little confusing that. Because they do sort of the letter, whatever, it doesn't matter. But so obviously, you know, see, 1A.

[B]

Is on the window seat, 1D is on the window on the other side, right? So they're pulling these roundabouts out, pretending like, oh, I didn't know. I thought we were beside each other. And this girl's like, well, I had an aisle, right? Yeah, you don't have to trade an aisle for a. For a. For a window. That's rude. And they charge. Pull, like, the old person card. Like, oh, we.

[A]

So they were both on windows and they wanted someone to take.

[B]

No, no. But they. No, they weren't even acting like that, babe. They weren't acting. There's one thing to act like that. There's nothing like, oh, I just thought that was 1A and this was 1D.

[A]

Right. They automatically took two next to each other when really they were both on windows.

[B]

And they pretended that that was. That was their seats. Like she. She was. I just assumed this was 1A and this was 1D because I didn't pass first grade. I didn't know there was a B and a C in the Alphabet. I thought there was 20. I thought there was 24 letters. And it went A, D.

[A]

Right.

[B]

E, F, G. Yeah. A, D, E, F, G. No, B, C. And she did not recognize B or C. Okay. And so. So I would have got. I would have been like, I've had this happen before. And I know I want to sit on the aisle because I paid for this seat and this is my seat. And I know that you're old, and you're not as old as you're acting right now, because right now you're acting like you're really old. I love both. You probably your late 60s, early 70s, you have cognitive ability enough to know that A is not next to D. Right. And so I stood up and I slapped the guy right in the face.

[A]

No, you didn't. No.

[B]

But this girl, she was so nice that she goes, okay, I'll take the window. But. But I'm just saying. That's bullshit. You know full well what you're doing. You're 70. You're not 170. Also, Bae, you are on my side here, right?

[A]

Of course. I'm trying to talk to back you up.

[B]

So I'm very heated.

[A]

I know. So here's the thing. They got upgraded last minute so that their seats weren't together. This has happened to me and John. You know what we do? We. We see each other when the plane lands, just like normal people.

[B]

We're just happy we got the upgrades. Happy we got the upgrades.

[A]

Fine. We don't have to sit next to each other. However, if you're both in windows, and then. And then. So there's two aisle people between you. If you would like to sit together. Sure. You have, you can ask. First of all, get in your proper seats.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Don't start by sitting in the wrong seats. Get in your proper seats. Then when someone sits next to you in the aisle, say, quick question. My wife is in the other window or my husband's in the other window. Right. Right there. Any chance that you wanted a window seat, we'll switch with you. If not, no problem. And that's the end of it. Whatever that person responds, that's the fucking answer. Because most of us, yes. When you get upgraded, you don't get to pick aisle or window. So I. So I get it. You can ask, but you can't just sit in a seat and try to squat it. And try to.

[B]

No, they were squat. They were squatting.

[A]

Yeah. And try to make someone feel bad because the problem is I always want an aisle unless I'm next to John. I always want to aisle unless I'm next to my husband. If we're. I want to. If I'm next to him in first class, I'll take the window because he's the person I have to crawl over and stick my asshole in his face when I go to the bathroom. And it won't be the girl.

[B]

Yes, ma' am. Yeah. Woohoo. Okay. There's been time. There's been time. There's been times where I was in 1A and Sarah's in 1B and she leaned across, said, would you mind switching with me? I'm sitting beside my husband. If you wouldn't mind sitting beside him, that'd be greatly appreciated.

[A]

That would be funny though. I should do that. I should be like, sorry, what a great mind that would be, by the way, to someone on a plane and be like, sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but I'm actually sitting next to my husband. I didn't want to. So could you switch with me? Like, it's the opposite of what people normally do. It would be pretty funny just to see someone's reaction.

[B]

But yeah, I was on a. I was on a plane one time and I was sitting beside yesterday, Yassiel Puig.

[A]

Oh, right. I remember that. He was. If you guys don't know Google, he's a very famous LA Dodgers player for.

[B]

A very short amount of time, unfortunately, because he's an idiot. But I was sitting beside Yassio play We're going to Guadalajara. And then his buddy is sitting beside my buddy Alan Miller, and he goes, hey, would you mind switching seats with me? I'm buddies with Yasiel. I was like, fuck, now I gotta sit beside Alan instead of Yashel quick. Okay, fine.

[A]

Did you. And you did it. That was nice of you. Yeah, yeah. Listen, even swaps.

[B]

Only even swaps. But even. But even if, if you're in row one, if you're in row one, a lot of people just like row one. So even if you're 4A, they don't. Or 4B, they don't want to switch to the 1A or 1B necessarily. But never switch an aisle to a window.

[A]

But it is okay to ask because perhaps that Person also got upgraded and would have preferred the aisle. And they got a. You know what I mean? You don't know unless you ask. But ask first. Do not seat squat first. Ask and only accept the answer and don't be an asshole afterwards. If you're going to ask, ask, accept the yes or no. Well, accept the no. If it's a no, of course you'll accept the yes and that's it. Because there is a chance that everyone's going to be happier with, with the swap. But you cannot. Don't frequent sit your old ass, fat ass, skinny ass, medium sized ass, bony ass, midass, anything, any of the asses. Don't sit them in a seat and then try to be like, oh, whoopty doody.

[B]

This is what this couple. And also this cup. They, they were acting like they're 105 years old. They were like late 60s. They're not even old.

[A]

That's what the two did to us with they cut us.

[B]

That's exactly. It might have been the same couple.

[A]

Probably was. It probably was.

[B]

Then the guy asked, the guy asked if he could have like 10 biscottis to go. And the woman said yes. They brought around the tray of food, you know, they bring around the tray of snacks. And he's like, do you have any of those biscottis? And her, his wife like, hit, stop it, honey. He's like, yeah, can I get something to go? And she said, yeah, I don't know, just another thing that I'm work in the system. Yeah.

[A]

Well, that was off topic. But it was fun to talk about. And as you know, every week leading up to week four, we just have some fun talks, a little nonsense, things we pulled from the book, like today about news anchors and random stories. Who knows what it'll be next week. And then week four, you'll get your full review. You can listen on Patreon where you get bonus content. Every fifth feature, 15th and 25th, including short stories on the 15th. And we're going to add a little more to that as we go. You can also watch the episode there if you want it and follow us on the book list on Instagram. Follow us. The Book List Spinners is our Facebook group. And come see Me John will be there too. July 18th in Salem, Oregon at the Grand Theater. We can't wait to see you next week.

[B]

Bye Bye.

[A]

The book list, the book lisp. The book list.

[B]

The book lisp.

[A]

The book lisp.