B (2:03)

Puerto Rico for six nights and then to Miami for three nights.

A (2:09)

Okay.

B (2:10)

In case anyone is wandering my schedule out there.

A (2:14)

Well, I'm going to be home with it with heavy security in case anyone was wondering. No, I. Yeah, you're. You're. You're taking off. I'm. I'm just. I know that I'm performing this weekend before we record, but you guys don't hear this till Monday. So my shows in Boston will already be over. I will be at the Skyline Comedy Club, March 26th through 28th, and then Arlington, Virginia, at the Drafthouse, April 10th and 11th. And then I have dates in August and September, and I'll have more added in between. There and after that. But for now, that's what I have. And. But I had been on the road all of February, like five weeks, all February. So I'm really, I am excited to my next couple weekends at home, starting from when you guys hear this for a couple weekends. I am excited to be home for a little bit. I just, I like it. I'm a little sad you won't be here, but I'll hold down the fort.

B (3:13)

Thank you, baby. Yeah, it's like finally, you're finally home for two weekends and I'm gone.

A (3:17)

I know.

B (3:17)

For two weekends.

A (3:19)

And then when you get back, I'll leave. But no, we'll have a weekend together anyway. Doesn't matter. You guys get it. Hi, we are reading One Day by David Nichols this month. As you know, we don't do any spoilers or book talk till week four. So we will be talking topics inspired by the book, but that don't spoil, spoil anything. And even if you're behind, haven't read it yet, whatever, this podcast will be for you because there will be nothing book anyway. You get it. And then we are reading for April. We are reading Little Secrets by Jennifer Hillier. That is my pick.

B (3:58)

It was good. It was good. I didn't know where it was going. It took some of their turns.

A (4:04)

It is crazy to me that you've already read it. Now, as you guys that have been listening for a while know, John and I often talk about we have to pump the brakes on our reading because once we get to week four, I have to remind myself what happened because then I've already started the next month's book. And so a lot of times, and I don't mind, I like it. Like, I'll listen back on. On audio while I'm on the treadmill and just remind myself and kind of skip around of little things. I do a lot of highlights in my Kindle. It's not a big deal, but you're aggressively ahead. You've already read April's book. I've slowed down so much that I'm only like 30% in on this month's book.

B (4:42)

Well, there's two things. Once I start, I can't usually stop. Number two, you've been gone a lot. And so when you're gone, I just end up working out more. And I've been on the treadmill, like an hour or two hours every day. And when I'm on the treadmill, I read. So I've been like, reading like crazy on the treadmill.

A (4:58)

Okay, okay.

B (5:00)

This is what happens when you turn 40 people.

A (5:02)

I know, but you're gonna regret it come April.

B (5:04)

I'm not regretting.

A (5:05)

I don't remember anything about the book.

B (5:07)

I will remember a bit of it and then I'll listen to it on audible the night before and be right back in the thick of it.

A (5:15)

I know I am. I had mentioned, I think a couple weeks ago, maybe last week, that I was. I was finding in a minute a little bit harder to get into John's book this month than I normally do. Just being honest. However, I'm past that hump and I'm really into it now.

B (5:33)

Okay, good. I was wondering when you're gonna go over the hump, because it's my kind of book. So I got into it right away and I couldn't put it down. I loved it. It was not necessarily like your books where it's like, you know, hard hitting. It's just more of like the kind of story that I like. And I was really into it.

A (5:47)

I. No, I'm very into it now. I don't know where it's gonna go. I don't know what their situation's gonna end up being. I'll probably read a lot by the time you guys hear this. I'll probably have almost. I'll probably be finished with it by the time you guys hear this Monday. Cause I have two five hour flights this weekend. And so that's when John tends to read on the treadmill. I tend. I love to read on the plane. However, I also need to finish this show. The accident, which is one of the accident.

B (6:18)

Oh, oh, that's Telemundo, one of your Telemundo shows.

A (6:22)

It's one of my Mexican dramas that are. And it's a real drama. John doesn't. He can't get into the. They're very like soapy. And this one is a little bit.

B (6:32)

Well, I think I could get serious if they were eight episodes. These motherfucking things are like 24 episodes.

A (6:39)

Well, that's what I was gonna say. So this one's only 10 and it's definitely more serious. It's got a sad. Like the reason it starts, the accident. It's a little depressing. So I'm not, not going to get into it. We're not trying to depress people, but it's just. It's still. I mean, it's still fictional, but it's. It's not as soapy. So I was trying to. I was trying to. I was trying to watch this one called Can't Remember the Name of it right now, honestly. And it was. Oh, the guest. And it was one of the first ones that I couldn't get into. Now, my Mexican dramas, Who Killed Sarah. Who Killed Sarah, Season two. And there's a bunch of them. I can't remember all the names of them right now, but I can blow through these things. They're just so good. I mean, and they have the perfect amount of, like, soap. Oh, the one where the woman was the stripper. She was also in who Killed Sarah. That was a really good one. I. Oh, yeah. I watch them on planes, but believe me, the people next to me aren't comfortable because softcore porn. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, the ex. So I tried to watch the guest, and that was more. That was like 20 episodes. And I could. I just couldn't do it. I actually finally googled the end. I go, I can't. I can't do it. I can't. I don't. I need to know what happened or who this person is or what her problem is, what her beef is. This woman that showed up and tried to fuck over everybody's life, but I. I couldn't get into it. It's. It was one that. It's the first time this happened to me in one of these. So someone else suggested to me when I was talking about that. They said, you gotta watch the accident. And, boy, am I into the accident. El accidente, if you will. So I. I'm gonna finish.

B (8:31)

It's all dubbed, right?

A (8:32)

All dubbed over, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that doesn't bother me. I like it.

B (8:39)

It's distracting to me. But I like. I can't do subtitles. I just can't do it. Even though I'm a big reader, but I can't do subtitles. I like to read or I like to watch tv. I don't like to do both at the same time.

A (8:49)

Okay, now isn't that interesting? John, you're a big reader, but you don't want to read subtitles. I can agree with that. I like it dubbed. I know some people find it distracting. Sometimes it is. Especially when it's a kind of a cheesy drama or something. It can be distracting just because it gets a little over the top. But in El Accidente, I'm not having any problems. How do we get on this? I don't know.

B (9:16)

Just talking about the airplanes. I have a lot of long flights, too. The fucking flight from Miami to la. I'm coming back on next Sunday. Miami to la? Six hours and six minutes.

A (9:27)

Coast to coast, baby.

B (9:29)

Oh, and that's It's a what, what did I say? Like a four hour flight from Puerto Rico to Miami. I mean, I'll be up in that, that, that tube in the sky.

A (9:38)

Well, this is why I think a lot of people vacation in Florida when they're on the East Coast. We tend to do Cabo on the west coast because it's a two and a half hour flight, tops. So if I'm gonna go to. And we're already on the beach, I. So I know I should say most people probably on the west coast vacation in California when they want the beach. Right? But I'm just saying for us, because we already live where the beach is. When we're trying to go to a beach vacation, we go to Mexico because it's a quick flight, Florida's beautiful, water's great, but it's a whole.

B (10:17)

It's a fricking. It's almost like an international flight.

A (10:20)

Six hour flight and then you're losing three hours going.

B (10:22)

Yes, ne. I lose four hours going to Puerto Rico. Like a flight from. A flight from New York to London is six and a half hours. It's almost the same going to Miami to LA as it is to going from New York to London. It's like a, it's like an international flight.

A (10:39)

Right. So this is why we go to Cabo.

B (10:42)

My argument is it's just like Canadians. What's that? Canadians. The Canadians all retire. All snowbird directly south. Everyone from like bc, Alberta, they all go to like Palm Desert, Palm Springs. Everyone from Saskatchewan, Manitoba, they all go to Arizona. Everyone from out east, they all go to Florida. Everyone just goes straight south.

A (11:03)

Yeah, that's.

B (11:04)

It's a fun, fun, fun fact for you guys.

A (11:07)

Thank you. You have any more geography lessons to give us before we.

B (11:11)

I do, actually. So I'm not saying I'm dumb, but I did not know where Puerto Rico was. I knew somewhere out there. I was like, you know, it's kind of, kind of going to be by like Dominican Republic, Haiti, Cuba. It's going to be out there. But I didn't really know exactly where it was until I had to look on a map. I'm going to be honest with everyone out there.

A (11:32)

I don't know where a lot of things are. I have to. I mean, there's times and listen, this isn't making us Sam and smart or anything. And my stepdad, thank God he doesn't listen to this podcast. A, he wouldn't know how to. B, he has terrible hearing, so he probably wouldn't bother. But I. He was such a good geography and history guy. I tend to have to Google a US Map when I'm traveling, just. Just because sometimes I'm going through a city where I go. I don't feel like that makes sense. And then I have to confirm it. And that's often because we're Delta loyalists. And so sometimes they have to go to Atlanta to get back to Arkansas. Now, listen, do I know where that. Of course I know that. I'm going. I'm overshooting it and coming back. But every once in a while, like, the other day, I went, I'm going to Wisconsin, but I'm going. And I. Everyone. I'm just saying, every once in a while, I have to Google the US Map.

B (12:33)

Well, listen, it's confusing for people like me. When I first got to the U.S. i was trying to. I was working out for NFL team. So I flew. They flew me to Green Bay. I worked at Green Bay. I flew back to Arizona, the Motel 6 I was living in. Then they flew me to work out for the Cincinnati Bengals, and I landed in the airport, and they said, welcome to. Welcome to the Cincinnati airport in Kentucky. I go, someone fucked up. Someone fucked up. Cause now I'm in Kentucky, I'm supposed to be in Cincinnati, and I know for a fucking fact that's in Ohio. You can't fool me. That's in Ohio. And I was in Kentucky.

A (13:04)

Right. I have flown into Cincinnati to do shows.

B (13:10)

No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You've never flown in Cincinnati.

A (13:13)

No. That's what no one has. Well, I think. Do they not have an airport at all in Cincinnati?

B (13:21)

They probably have, like, a private regional one or something like that.

A (13:25)

Yeah. Instead you find Cincinnati and Northern. Yeah, cvg. That's right. Cincinnati. Northern Kentucky International Airport.

B (13:33)

I'm just saying it's weird that your air. It's just like the New York Giants and the New York jets play in New Jersey. There's only one football team that plays in New York, and it's the Buffalo Bills. And that really stumps people. So you guys are fucking up your own geography, if I do say so to myself. Do you know. Do you know in Canada. In Canada. Do you know where the. Regina Airport. My hometown, Reg. Regina. Do you know where their airport is?

A (13:57)

It's in Regina. I've been there.

B (13:58)

Yes, you can hear that.

A (14:01)

Oh, I see.

B (14:03)

Yes.

A (14:03)

Oh, I see. You wanted to hear the point that it's in.

B (14:06)

Yeah, it's very simple. The Saskatchewan Rough Riders play in Saskatchewan.

A (14:11)

Right.

B (14:11)

It's just very Toronto Maple Leaf is playing Toronto. The New York Giants play New Jersey. What the Fly in. Fuck.

A (14:20)

Right? I got you.

B (14:21)

You guys are confusing.

A (14:23)

I don't know if you guys knew this, but we were actually pivoting to a geography podcast.

B (14:27)

Yeah.

A (14:28)

So good luck.

B (14:29)

So I'm going to name a city, and then you use the last letter in the city to name a new city. I'll go first.

A (14:34)

Alaska Airlines. What?

B (14:38)

No, you don't understand the game.

A (14:40)

Oh, my God. Can I just real quick on this subject. And then we'll. Wait, I did say.

B (14:46)

Well, then we'll start the podcast.

A (14:47)

Yeah. Little Secrets by Jennifer Hillier. And then Famous Once by Jane Green is our Patre short story. We do short stories on Patreon. We do them on the 15th of every month. This month it will be on the 16th, just because John gets back on the 15th. So we have to record it that night because we do a video one together for. For Patreon. We do video podcasts. You can also just listen to them. But. And we do three a month. It's only $5 a month. So join us on Patreon if you would like to. That's your Patreon short story real quick. Just because we're talking about geography. So when I was in. I don't think I told you this. So when I was. I did three Iowa casinos last month, and they're called the Wild Rose Casinos. They're super fun, great clientele, wonderful people that run them, wonderful marketing you love doing. I had a great time. So the first one I did was in Jefferson. That was the beginning of the month. And then what they had me do at the end of the month was back to back. One was in Emmitsburg, which is a pretty small town. And then the second one was in Clinton, which is on the Mississippi and very close to Illinois and a much bigger town or city. So I knew that I was coming from a small city town called Emmitsburg and that. But I knew that the people in Clinton, because I was like three hours away. I drove. I was like, they'll know what I'm talking about when I reference Emmitsburg because they're. And they're at the Wild Rose. They probably know the other locations. Doesn't matter. So I said I was in. I've had a great time this weekend, whatever. And then I said I was in your state's capital of Emmitsburg last night. I was in Emmitsburg, your state's capital. Made a little. Got a lot of ha, ha, ha, ha ha. A Lot of jokes. And then afterwards, what does some lady say to me?

B (16:32)

That's not the capital of Iowa.

A (16:35)

She goes, do you know that's not the capital of Iowa? And I said, I sure did.

B (16:39)

You know you're at a comedy show.

A (16:40)

Yeah. I'm like, the joke was that it's this small town, and I'm not saying it was a fucking Netflix special joke. Everyone got a good laugh out of it. We were just having. I'm just. When I do city to city, I mix it up and kind of reference thing around. I was like, I do know that the capital of Iowa is Cedar Rapids. I do. I. I was more having a little fun with saying that Emmitsburg was your. Or no, wait, the big metropolis of. Isn't their capital Des Moines.

B (17:19)

Des Moines. I was gonna say Des Moines, but I. You know, in the capitals.

A (17:23)

Hold on, I'm gonna Google it, because I just.

B (17:25)

I saw Cedar Rapids.

A (17:26)

Des Moines is the capital. You know what's really funny, though? No. Cedar Rapids is definitely in Iowa because that's where I flew in and out of Grand Rapids.

B (17:35)

Grand Rapids, yes.

A (17:37)

But what's funny is I do know that the capital is Des Moines. Somehow I know my capitals. Anyway, for those screaming at me that it was not Cedar Rapids, I was just thinking of that city because they flew out of it. But I do believe that the woman that corrected me said that the capital was Cedar Rapids. I just want to say, not only was she correcting my joke, that was a joke that she gave me. The. Also the wrong city. And I just stared at her because I go, I don't. Do you understand that? I know the capital's not Emmetsburg anyway.

B (18:11)

And don't give her pod. Her podcast came out today and she goes, I tried to make a joke to Sarah and a joke back saying the incorrect capital is. She didn't get it.

A (18:21)

That's right. I can't wait to. What's her podcast called? Annoying

B (18:27)

Dumb Twats from Ellensburg, or whatever it was called.

A (18:31)

Well, since we are talking about comedy, John, I think there is. Again, no spoilers, but there are references in this book to. What's her name? The. Our lead lady.

B (18:48)

Yeah, her ex boyfriend was a woman.

A (18:50)

What's her name?

B (18:51)

We don't need to talk about it. I can't remember.

A (18:55)

Emma.

B (18:56)

Emma. He wanted to. Her boyfriend that she lived with for a while was an aspiring comedy, even though he wasn't very funny.

A (19:05)

So she's. And I. I don't even know if she lived with him, but she was working with him at the restaurant.

B (19:11)

And they lived then. Oh, you put. Not that far off. They do live together for a while.

A (19:15)

Okay, sorry. They end up living together later.

B (19:19)

Oh, shit. Sorry.

A (19:21)

Go ahead, Ian. Really?

B (19:25)

Yeah.

A (19:25)

All right, well, I guess I should take back the spoiler thing, because we do maybe sometimes accidentally have. I know that's not a big story.

B (19:33)

It's not. Yeah.

A (19:35)

Well, anyway, Ian, I believe, is his name is an aspiring comedian. So one thing that she talks about at these restaurants is that someone approaches her. She's in England right. At the time, and she's basic. She. There's a moment where she was doing plays and acting and whatever, and. But she's working at a restaurant, and someone says, what's your stroke? And I had never heard it said this way, but they were like, actress, stroke writer or waiter strat. Stroke actor. Waiter, stroke director.

B (20:16)

What does that. What does that mean? So, like, what, like, we in the. Like, Would you say, like, what's your hustle?

A (20:22)

Slash. No. So they said. Okay, hold on. I. I have to Want to. I want to make sure I say it right. Because they said, what is your. They say, yes. Stroke. What is your stroke? What is your Waiter, stroke artist. Waiter, stroke actor. Waiter, stroke director. See what I'm saying? So where we would say, like, slash. Okay, I'm a. I'm a waiter, slash, trying to be an act. Like, what's your. What's your job that you have at this restaurant? And what do you want to be?

B (21:01)

But we would say, like, in. Like, if you lived in Toronto, you'd be like, I'm. I'm a whatever. And they say, what's your side hustle? Well, I drive Uber. Like, everyone has, like, a side hustle because no one can afford to live when you're in the early 20s on just what they're doing.

A (21:16)

Right, sure.

B (21:17)

But I understand what you're saying. You're saying stroke instead of your slash. Whatever.

A (21:22)

Yes. Well, yes, because for the most part, people aren't doing it for a living. That's not their side hustle. It's what they want to be. So I think she's referencing what they want to be. So I'm trying to bring this up to say when I'm working in Los Angeles all these years. All these years at a restaurant was working with a waiter, slash comedian. Waiter, slash actor. Waiter, slash. Okay, so they say stroke in this. Anyway, boy, did I not want to get on that topic too long. But we did. Ian is a waiter slash comedian. Stroke, comedian, whatever. And he talks about how he's going to perform at a comedy club called Chortles.

B (22:06)

Yeah.

A (22:07)

And then he says he's gonna also. And then he says, well, if you can't make that, I'm gonna be at the Bent Banana. And I thought, we gotta talk a little bit about this. Just because the dumb comedy club names that exist. And there. I mean, there's our friend Chip Cheneray.

B (22:29)

Yes.

A (22:30)

He, I feel like, almost kept track of a lot of these. He was a kid.

B (22:37)

He wrote a book about his first year on the road. And he kept meticulous records of everything that happened, how much he got paid, who opened for him or who he opened for. And then he had a picture with the host and the feature or the headliner and the. You know what I'm saying? Like, he had for every single show he did for a year, that he basically lived out of his car. And it's a book that's available.

A (23:01)

What was the name of it?

B (23:03)

I can't remember right now, but I bought five of them.

A (23:05)

Yes. And Chip, you can look up the author. Chip. C H I N E R Y. We should have him on. We'll have him on Wednesday as one of our bonus episodes. Because sometimes we have five Mondays a month, which we have this month, actually. So we'll see if he's available. But anyway, there's some really ridiculous names for comedy clubs. Now, I know that two of them are in Arkansas. The Loony Bin and the Nut House, I believe, are both in Little Rock. And I haven't performed it either. I've heard wonderful things about both. But we're just making fun of stupid names right now. So. Stupid names for comedy clubs. Those are a couple I can think of. There's a very famous chain called the Funny Bone. I don't have a problem with that.

B (23:56)

No.

A (23:57)

Because it's like. It's fine. It's a big chain. They have a. They have very successful clubs. I mean, it's definitely not Chortles or the Bent Banana, but I know there. There was. At one point, there was definitely one called, like, the Chuckle Hut or something. And I think that's what everyone kind of references to make fun of.

B (24:16)

Yeah.

A (24:17)

But then it made me remember. So do you remember in Seattle when they opened. Yes. They reopened a place. It was called Giggles Comedy Club. However, they named it Giggles because previously it was a strip club named Jigs called.

B (24:35)

Yeah, I had that written down on my sticky note.

A (24:39)

You did? Yeah, because I remember they even. I remember even them telling me when I was performing there, they're like, oh, this used to be a strip club called Jiggles. That's why we called it Giggles. And I was like a amazing, you know, only one letter to replace on the neon sign. That's nice.

B (24:57)

Yeah. I mean, that's economical. Yeah. Yeah.

A (25:00)

Can't get mad at that. But it did. Giggles sounds like a lazy name for a comedy club until you find out that it was called Jiggles before because it was a strip club, and then you just go, yeah, yeah. What else are you gonna call it?

B (25:15)

That's pretty good. I was impressed. Hilarities.

A (25:20)

Hilarities. That's in Cleveland. That's. I love that club.

B (25:23)

It's a great club. It's a really great club.

A (25:26)

And that's. That doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't seem. I mean, they've been so successful. It's so. It's just some are, like, so cheesy that. The Chuckle Hut. Right. I mean, that's. I don't even know if that's real, but that's ridiculous. But, um, I was looking up other ones. Oh, there was one. Yeah. Chocolate Hut. There's one called Froggy Bottoms in Lubbock, Texas. I don't know if it's still there.

B (25:54)

Froggy Bot. What does that even mean?

A (25:56)

I don't know. But then there's a. Yeah, go Bananas. That's a Cincinnati one. So you.

B (26:01)

A lot of banana references.

A (26:02)

A lot of banana references. And I don't. Where does that come from? From, like, because you slip on a banana and.

B (26:09)

I guess so.

A (26:10)

An old timey movie.

B (26:12)

Similarly, back when I started playing, like, pro football 22 years ago, if someone did a trick play, the old joke was the old banana in the tailpipe.

A (26:20)

Okay, so bananas are just funny.

B (26:23)

Yeah, I guess so. Okay, well, bananas are funny. Banana Rama.

A (26:31)

Well, when he says bent banana, like, isn't a banana already kind of bent?

B (26:36)

It's already pretty bent.

A (26:38)

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. Anyway. Okay, I'm gonna move on, but.

B (26:45)

Yuk Yuk, Yuk Yuk.

A (26:47)

Yeah, Yuk Yuk. There isn't there one in Canada? Yuk Yuk.

B (26:51)

It used to be in the hotel by where we used to stay by my golf tournament. There's a comedy club in there called Yuk Yuks. I don't think it's still there. I think it's a. I don't know if it's a national, international chain, but it was a chain in Canada for sure.

A (27:03)

No, I think pretty. I think pretty popular.

B (27:06)

Okay.

A (27:07)

And then there was one in Calgary. I thought, oh, yuk Yuks. Calgary. Oh, it says closed. No, but it opens at 6:30. So there are still Yuk Yuks and.

B (27:18)

But, but my thing was just. I think there might be like a Canadian thing. I don't know if they're in the

A (27:21)

U.S. okay, well listen, I'm not shitting on the names as far as the success like this. They're successful. We're not worried about it. We're just having a little fun. Yeah, but what I'm saying is Yuk Yuks Calgary. If you're looking for a lady, book me in the summer. I don't want to come there in fucking Calgary. December. But no, a lot of. I know a lot of people that still do. Yuk Yuk I think is a big one still. Anyway, doesn't matter. I'm going to get off of, of that. Oh, you know what's funny is because I was writing notes as we were talking so that I could write the description for the podcast. I do that like, oh, remind myself of what we're talking. It also picked up my audio so it says something about John having heavy breathing.

B (28:18)

I'm a heavy breather.

A (28:19)

I know, I know.

B (28:21)

Okay, so I'm in good cardiovascular shape. My aura says I'm four and a half years younger than my actual age. So basically my aura thinks I'm 39 and a half years old, motherfucker.

A (28:33)

Or a ring, by the way, My

B (28:35)

aura ring, I'm not a kook, but my aura ring right here thinks that I'm walking around this earth 39 and a half years old.

A (28:44)

That's right, baby. Okay, can I talk more about.

B (28:50)

Yes, go ahead, baby.

A (28:51)

Okay, so another thing that they talk, they talk about with comedy clubs that struck chords with me. A, the names, B, she talks about the guy says, oh, I am going to do. I have a great bit worked out tonight that I'm going to talk about the difference between men and women. Oh God. It just made me laugh that I thought David Nichols, the author of this book either has a really annoying comedy club friend that he's had to see, right? Because he seems to get things about stand up comedy even. This was just one chapter. I know, but I couldn't of course, because I'm a comedian. I was really stuck on the fact that he's making fun of names, making fun of someone's shitty premise of like guys and girls are different, everybody. One's got a dick, one's got a vagina. And then he talked about about the food. He said he's like, oh, there's the food's. Not half bad. Burgers and chicken. Whatever he says. And I thought this, I mean, this author's referencing food in comedy clubs. So I just feel like I need to know.

B (30:02)

Yeah, he's either a time in comedy clubs or he has a friend who was aspiring comedian or something like that. Because these are all very specific comedy club type things.

A (30:13)

That's what I thought. And I was wondering.

B (30:16)

Every comedy club in frickin America, the number one thing on their menu is chicken fingers and fries. I swear to freaking God.

A (30:23)

Some of them I perform in don't even. Not to brag, but they don't even have a full kitchen. Just popcorn, popcorn, nachos. And I'm talking some of the best ones like Spokane Comedy Club, which is one of the most. It's a fantastic club. Spokane, Washington, beautiful club. One of my favorites. Been there a decade now. They've. They're killing it and they just. But they just didn't bother with the kitchen sometimes, you know that it's just not going to be a thing for your area or whatever or your. Or maybe there's restaurants around or maybe they just don't have a kitchen in the building that you're building it in. I don't know why they didn't do it. Right. But they do like hot dogs and I don't know, popcorn, Right.

B (31:03)

Something like that.

A (31:04)

They don't have like the regular and because it's a coma there and it doesn't matter anyway. I just thought there was some references to stand up comedy that it made me just google David Nichols. And I don't see anything about stand up. But he's a screenwriter, a stage guy, a lot of stage writing. And yeah, he adapted Much Ado About Nothing into a one hour segment for the BBC's 22,005 Shakespeare retold season. Yeah, a lot. Big writer, this guy, clearly, because we're reading one of his books. But I don't see anything here about standup. So I think he just has been like many of us around a lot of standup comedians when you're in like the business. Okay.

B (31:56)

In the biz.

A (31:58)

In the biz. So I talked about stroke, slash, I talked about. Oh, I thought let's we'll round this out with you filling the people in on one reference that was in here. So the mom in this book, Dexter's mom, there's a moment where again, not a spoiler, but they meet up and she's had a bit of wine and then they go meet up with the dad and the dad's in a hotel room and he's kind of like picking at his feet or something. And she goes, oh, a bit of Swansea here. And so I don't know if she's referring to, like, Swansea's kind of a smaller town, people more rough around the edges from where she is. I don't. I didn't really get the. Quite the dig. Quite. Did you?

B (32:51)

So Swansea's my favorite soccer team, my favorite football team.

A (32:56)

This is why I wanted to bring it up. Yes.

B (32:58)

My absolute favorite team. I follow them. I pay £25amonth to get all their games on my computer. American, about $29. I get all their. I mean, I have like a hundred shirts. I have all their jerseys, their kisses, they call them. I am like, hardcore. I'm part of a fan. I drink out of a Swansea coffee mug every morning. Sarah can attest to I'm part of the California Swansea fan club as also a part of the stateside Jax, which we call ourselves because, you know, if you ever see another Swansea fan, you say, hey, you Jack bastard, yjb. So I'll support the stateside Jacks. And we have a fan.

A (33:41)

I didn't know about the Jack Bastard thing. I didn't know about that.

B (33:43)

Yeah. So you always sign off if you start. If I was going to write you an email, I'd say, yjb, you Jack bastard. Because we're Jack bastards.

A (33:53)

Don't ever text that to me. That's not how we talk to each other.

B (33:57)

Right from now on. That's how I'm opening up. And so I'm a huge fan. We have this meet. Sarah's gonna laugh at this because every year we have a California Swansea meetup. All the fans, all the fans, from Sacramento to San Francisco to San Diego to California, Los Angeles, California, we have a meetup and we all watch a game together. We had this huge meetup one time. We had six people there, and last year only two people showed up. Just me and my buddy Carl showed up in San Diego. So it's a very small fan club.

A (34:38)

It is a small. But, I mean, the team itself obviously is a huge fan club, but you're just saying in the. In the Los Angeles area, there's not.

B (34:47)

Yes, obviously they're a huge, massive team. They're not in the top division in the second division in England, but we have. We. We love them. And so when I saw the Swansea reference, I knew what it meant right away. But then I had to look it up, too, because I wanted to know. So it kind of means like you're a little. You're a little bit dull or you're a little bit dim or a little bit low brow.

A (35:08)

Okay.

B (35:08)

It's kind of like the reference to it, but when I looked it up, like, I put it in AI to tell me, like. Like give me a deeper meaning. They said even people in the UK don't necessarily know what that means. It's like a very niche. You say niche or niche?

A (35:21)

Niche, sure.

B (35:23)

It's a very niche type thing that you'd call someone Swansea. Even in the uk, Some people might not know what that meant.

A (35:29)

Well, the reason I brought it up, A, for you to explain that, and B, you've already kind of said it, but can you tell the people a little bit more about where you found your fellow Swansea friends? I went with you one time.

B (35:44)

Yes. And our friend Erica met us, too.

A (35:47)

Yeah. So I just want to say as a wife, as a partner, as a person who. Okay, no, let me finish. As I mentioned last week, as a person who doesn't feel like she. Whatever. Have to go through her husband's phone, and it's the best feeling in the world because this is what I would find. I would find his Swansea meetups with four guys from San Diego that want to meet up at the one local bar in Studio City, the Fox and Hound, whatever it is, that happens to be opening early because Swansea plays at, like, crazy time. Right. With the time difference. And I went with you, and I had a blast. I will say we had a nice time. No, they were all so nice. But how did you find them is what I'm. So.

B (36:44)

During COVID I was like, wow, I wonder if there's any other Swansea fans around around these parts. Maybe I don't have to watch alone every Saturday morning. So I did as a lot of people started doing during COVID doing weird things. I just started reaching out on the. On the. On the Facebook and on the. The Twitter, if you will. And I ran into a whole nother group of guys. And when I say group of guys, mainly four or five, but you don't

A (37:09)

reach out on Twitter to me, but you.

B (37:13)

Yes, but you know what I mean. You start to go around. You find different groups or whatever. You don't even join them, but you say, oh, there is a group over here. There's people over here that watch the group.

A (37:21)

But it's not like you wrote, who's. Who's looking at who's watching Swansea this

B (37:26)

week and whom it may concern. My name is John and I'm a Swansea fan. No, but you.

A (37:32)

I'm just saying I, I know that. I know you well enough to know you're not going to throw it out there. This is why I'm asking. I know you're not going to put up a fucking post on social media and say, hi, anyone want to watch Swansea with me this weekend? I just know that's not your personality. There's nothing wrong with people that do that. It's a nice, it's a nice way to meet new people. But I'm saying you didn't do that. So what did you do? You were lurking in other groups?

B (38:00)

Yeah. No, not a group, just, you know, just looking around to see if there's other. Any other people around California watching games. Like minded waking up at 5:45 to go watch these games every Saturday morning.

A (38:12)

Yes.

B (38:12)

And then I found some people and then I kind of, you know, reached out to them and then, you know, what happened after that, which was cool. The team found out and then I started doing interviews on the team website and shit. Remember that? I was doing like during COVID I was doing like interviews on the, like the team's website. It was like on the. It was my proudest moment.

A (38:33)

You've had a lot of big moments in your life and that was, was

B (38:37)

like becoming a Swansea fan, marrying you, winning the Super Bowl.

A (38:44)

In that order. I get it.

B (38:45)

In that order.

A (38:47)

No, I just, I listen, I again, I went with you that once. I thought it was super fun.

B (38:53)

I.

A (38:53)

If you know John well enough from listening to the podcast, I thought you might find it interesting that he actually reached out to like find a group of like minded people. Because it's not usually you. You are usually a little more kind of solo. You'll just.

B (39:10)

You're like, I'm an island. I am a damn island. Like you did the weird thing.

A (39:17)

I remember you waking up and watching Swansea. You still do?

B (39:20)

Yes.

A (39:21)

And I'll wake up and. And he'll have the volume all the way down and his AirPods in and he's watching it at 4:00 in the morning, whatever it is, because he doesn't want to wake me, but he doesn't even tell me it's on because, you know, fair enough. I don't want to get up and watch because it's not my team or my thing if it was, I don't know. We tried to do that in Germany, right. With the World Series a couple times when we were in Germany during that. But other than that, I'm probably not gonna wake up and do it. So he. But he still does. He's a big fan, is my point.

B (39:53)

Do you know what's really funny? I realized, like, a few weeks ago, I watch all the games without the sound on. 90% of the games I watch without the sound on. Cause you're still sleeping. And I realized that when I met up with other people that I pronounced everyone's name wrong. You know, like, you see the players and it's like, venishnikov. I'm like, that's not his name. You know what I mean? What I think his name is, I've never heard of. And I've already. I already have problems pronouncing names and words correctly. So then I. There. I'm like, I'm pronouncing everyone's name wrong. Are you really a fan? I'm like, yes. I watch every game.

A (40:26)

Oh, that's funny.

B (40:28)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (40:31)

Well, it's nice of you to not wake me up. And yes. Now you can start if you would like to get the names right. Okay.

B (40:40)

Well, you know what else I discovered from this when I looked that up? It's very common in Europe to, like, when you call someone something, you call them by a city's name.

A (40:50)

Oh, so that's why she does it in this book where this also.

B (40:53)

Oh, my God, You're. You're so. You're so Birmingham, or you're. You're so Newcastle, or even. There's even like, different, like. And you know how also I knew this. I started watching this show, you know Jersey Shore?

A (41:06)

Yeah.

B (41:07)

Very popular show here in the United States of America. And now they have Canada Shore, which was new. But then I went back, I was, like, looking for shows to watch when you were gone. And there's a show called Geordie Shore, which is about the. The same thing, but they're in Newcastle, England. And at first I watched the preview, and it was. They were. Everyone was so over the top that I thought it was like a mockumentary. I thought it was, like a mock reality show because they were, like, so over the top. I even, like, put it in a. I'm like, is this a mock reality show? Like, no, it's actually. It's actually real. So I started watching it. And these people are fucking crazy, but they. They have, like. They have, like, different, like, all their insults and the things they call each other are, like, different than we do it. It's like, oh, this guy's such a mug. This guy's such a mug. Look at this fucking muppet twat. This twat is such A Muppet. I was like, what? What's going on right now? It's so good to hear, like, new insults that we don't use here.

A (42:00)

Oh, I love new insults.

B (42:02)

They don't say. They don't say twat. They say twat. And they use it a lot. A lot. A Muppet. They love calling someone a Muppet.

A (42:10)

Yeah, I don't want to be called a Muppet. But no, it doesn't sound like a real insult until someone calls you that and then you just feel bad.

B (42:17)

Yeah, it was. The language and the terminologies they use is so much fun.

A (42:22)

Okay.

B (42:23)

And they're freaking insane. All these people are insane. And there's 11 seasons.

A (42:30)

Oh, Jesus. Are you serious?

B (42:32)

Yeah, I'm only on episode six, season one.

A (42:35)

Are you Geordie Shore?

B (42:36)

Yeah. G E O R D I E. It's on Paramount plus. Okay, well, like these people. If you think the people from friggin Jersey Shore are like, you know, a little out there, these people are crazier.

A (42:51)

All right, well, now you know what to watch. You're welcome. We don't mean to, you know, what

B (42:55)

to not watch, actually, but actually what to watch.

A (42:59)

Thank you guys for being here. We appreciate you. Don't forget, this is One Day by David Nichols this month. The full review will be on the fourth Monday. Little Secrets by Jennifer Hillier is your April book. Famous Ones by Jane Green is your Patreon short story. Join us on Patreon. We'll see you next week.

B (43:18)

Bye bye.

A (43:20)

The book Lisp.

B (43:21)

The book lisp.

A (43:23)

The book list.

B (43:24)

The book lisp.

A (43:26)

The book lisp.