He is a Skater Boy

Summary

Podcast Summary: He is a Skater Boy

The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Episode Date: May 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively, tangent-packed episode, married hosts Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna riff on childhood hobbies, “childish” passions in adulthood, pop-punk anthems, and the practicalities of long-distance relationships—all inspired by the book club’s current read, Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan. While they don’t dive into spoilers or a full review just yet, they explore themes and personal anecdotes prompted by the skateboarder main character, detouring through everything from stamp collecting and Hotmail accounts to the logistics of LA dating and their favorite reality TV oddities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Old-School Email Woes and Modern Shopping

• [00:21-02:55] The show opens with some technical difficulties—Jon’s ancient Hotmail account acting up, prompting nostalgia and playful ribbing about stubbornly holding onto legacy email addresses.
• Both commiserate about the messiness of old email accounts and laugh at the idea of giving Walmart your email for a pack of Skittles.
• They reflect on how online shopping has made in-person retail, and even shopping for family in Canada, a relic of the past.

2. Monthly Book Rotation & Patreon Extras

• [05:53-07:19] The couple previews upcoming book club picks (Summer Romance and Kill for Me, Kill for You), and mention special Patreon short stories (like Karen Slaughter’s “Cold, Cold Heart”).
• Plans for vacation reading get mixed in with promises to keep listeners posted on their summer travels and book progress.

3. Childish Hobbies and Adult Life

• [12:04-16:16] The main discussion kicks off: is it weird or “childish” to have hobbies rooted in youth?

  • Jon asks, “Is there anything that you can think of that you do that could be considered like a childish hobby?”
  • Sarah admits that, at first, she judged the skateboarding love interest in the book—wondering if she’d be “dried up like the desert” if a guy told her his hobby was skateboarding (13:51).
  • Both dissect how childishness/judgments fall away when seeing the passion and talent involved.
  • Jon points out he “played a child’s game” (football) into his 40s, but no one blinks at athletic careers.

• Memorable moment:

  “Those balls were my skateboard for sure.” – Jon Ryan [15:05]

4. Skill, Value, and the Tony Hawk Effect

• [16:03-16:39]
  • They marvel at the skill skateboarding requires, and joke that “Tony Hawk is the only skateboarder anyone knows.”
  • Sarah: “I can’t name any [pro skateboarders], but I know I should be able to.”
  • Jon: “Tony Hawk. Everyone knows Tony Hawk, but no one knows who the second one is.”

5. Avril Lavigne vs Toby Keith: Song Analysis

• [16:43-19:45]
  • Sarah reflects on how “Sk8er Boi” is the pop-punk twin of Toby Keith’s “How Do You Like Me Now?”—both being about underdogs getting the last laugh.
  • Jon jumps in: “The second you started saying it, I knew exactly where you were going. This is a Toby Keith rip.”

6. Reality Dating Shows & Age-Defying Relationships

• [19:47-24:43]
  • The pair reminisces about Marrying Millions, recalling a memorable Seattle couple (she was 48, he 31, skateboarder/arborist).
  • They’re both fascinated and grossed out by reality TV’s blurred ethics and casting failures, referencing infamous background-check misses on Worst Ex Ever and 90 Day Fiancé.

7. Collecting as an Adult: Cards, Stamps, and Sentimental Value

• [25:59-31:48]
  • Sarah sheepishly confesses her former stamp collection (“I don’t mean to brag, but I didn’t have a lot of friends”), and Jon talks about collecting baseball/football cards and how the “retirement plans” of old cards didn’t exactly pan out.
  • Jon: “All those cards from the late 80s, early 90s—they’re not worth the cardboard they’re printed on.”
  • Jon shares his now-prized Michael Jordan rookie card (“worth $40,000!”), prompting Sarah to suggest selling, which he refuses (“It’s a collection. Would you just part with your stamps?”).

8. Random Tangents: Colonics, Colonoscopies, and Tough Mothers

• [31:48-34:55]
  • The discussion veers into health maintenance, with stories on colonoscopies and Jon’s mother’s badassery (“She could hear and smell the saw coming through her bone…”).
  • Sarah: “I would opt for full anesthesia just to get my teeth cleaned if I could.”

9. Long Distance Relationships

• [35:07-41:51]
  • Jon introduces the next theme pulled from the book: adults and long-distance relationships.
  • Sarah notes the book’s slightly “overdramatic” take on a two-hour commute: “If you can drive to the place where the other person lives and back in the same day, it’s not that big of a deal.”
  • Jon gives both sides—certain logistics (kids, work, legalities) do matter:

    “If you really want to be with someone, you can move mountains to be with them.” [39:35]

    • The couple reflects on how their own relationship was long-distance for years (“We’d only be together full-time in little windows in the winter and the summer…”).

10. LA Life and the 'Long Distance' Within a City

• [40:17-42:56]
  • They poke fun at LA’s notorious traffic, and the cultural aversion to dating outside your “three-block radius,” joking that commuting to Santa Monica is worse than the characters’ interstate romance.
  • Jon: “10 miles can be an hour and a half, by the way.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On childish hobbies:

  “There’s a big piece of me that, when I first read this, I’m like ‘What is this guy, serious? Are we doing that?’” – Sarah [13:51]

• On being a former football pro:

  “I played a child’s game until I was one month shy of my 41st birthday... Those balls were my skateboard for sure.” – Jon [14:32, 15:05]

• On adult collecting:

  “All those cards from the late 80s, early 90s, they’re not worth the cardboard they’re printed on.” – Jon [28:20]

  “It’s a collection. Would you just part with your stamps if they’re worth 40 grand? No, of course you wouldn’t.” – Jon [29:10]

• On LA distances:

  “Anytime any one of my friends says that anyone lives outside of a three block radius from them, I go, ‘That’s not gonna work…’” – Sarah [41:07]

  “10 miles can be an hour and a half, by the way.” – Jon [40:55]

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:21-02:55 — Email & Shopping Comedy, Nostalgia
• 05:53-07:19 — Book Club Picks & Patreon Discussion
• 12:04-16:16 — Skateboards, Hobbies (Childish vs. Adult)
• 16:43-19:45 — Avril Lavigne, Toby Keith, Pop Culture
• 25:59-31:48 — Stamp and Baseball Card Collections
• 35:07-41:51 — Long Distance Relationships, LA Life, Commuting Woes
• 41:51-End — Wrap-up, social plugs, and signature Book Lisp banter

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Tone & Style

The episode is playful and candid, peppered with quick-witted references, genuine partnership camaraderie, and a fondness for meandering off-topic. Both Jon and Sarah bring their professional backgrounds—Jon as an athlete, Sarah as a comedian-actress—to bear in both humor and insight, making the content relatable, breezy, and laugh-aloud funny.

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For Next Time

• The full, spoiler-filled review of Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan will be up on Memorial Day (May 25).
• Listeners are encouraged to join the Book Lisp Facebook group, Instagram, and Patreon for extra fun and to be a part of the book-loving community.

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Listen If You Like:

• Banter-driven book discussions
• Comedian-hosted podcasts with real-life digressions
• Honest takes on relationships, adulthood, hobbies, and pop culture

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Find them:
Facebook: Book List Spinners
Instagram: @thebooklisp
Patreon: $5 a month for extras
Full review of Summer Romance coming next week!

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.

[B]

And I'm John Ryan.

[A]

And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.

[B]

The Book Lisp.

[A]

Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. Hi, John.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

John was having problems, difficulties over here, technical difficulties. I mean, you guys wouldn't know because it's not live, so we don't really have to talk about it. But we're telling you about it because it was annoying for some reason. John's email, his Hotmail account.

[B]

I feel like Hotmail just. Hotmail just isn't what it used to be, apparently. I mean, in the 80s, it used to be the number 1996.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I signed up for this account in 1996, and I thought that it was reliable because it's been around for 30 years. Hotmail. So buckle up, button up your outlook.

[A]

To, to be fair, I, I think, I know you're. Sometimes you show me how you have to look for emails and they're like, it looks, I mean, listen, very confusing. I know I have SBC Global. It's a Yahoo account, like a. I,

[B]

I also have my business accounts. Like, I, I, I just, I've had this Hotmail account for so long that everyone has it. And also when I go into Walmart and I buy a pack of fucking Skittles, they go, can you put your email in here? I don't want to give my business email, so I give them the Hotmail account.

[A]

Why are you putting your email in for Skittles?

[B]

I don't know. There was a time there, like every single place you went, you'd buy something from Banana Republic. I'll just put your email in there because they all try to get you there. Well, I'm not good at saying no.

[A]

Or, or you do when they ask you. They mostly ask you online, but then you just, Sometimes you sign up to get your 20% discount because they give you a welcome code and then you just unsubscribe the next day. However. Yeah, I don't think anyone's been asking for it in person at a Walmart for a pack of Skittles for a while. I'm just saying.

[B]

Well, I haven't, I haven't been out into a shopping establishment that's not a bar in a few years.

[A]

Yeah, well, the grocery store.

[B]

Yeah, sure, okay, the grocery store.

[A]

We buy everything else online. I will say I have time.

[B]

You went to Target. I used to go to Target every week at Least once a week when I was in Seattle.

[A]

It's been a minute. Yeah. And there's one not far from us. I went to it one time. I don't remember why, but it was at least two years ago.

[B]

They have like a four story parking garage in that one. And it's a nightmare. One way in, one way out. Everyone loses their mind.

[A]

You can just order it online and it comes the next day. And there's no, there's not even any shipping charge.

[B]

And you know what? In our area through the Amazon, the Scott Bezos owns this establishment. Sometimes I'm going to call him Scott from now on. Sometimes it comes within like two hours. Yeah, they have their own shipping. It's almost creepy. Like, I remember back in the day, especially in Canada, we would have to pick out our Christmas gifts in like October. The JCPenney catalog would come to our house in October and we had to pick everything up before, definitely before November because it'd take like a month and a half to get to our house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From the.

[A]

Now what?

[B]

For the. The big United States. Our big brother. The United States of America. So we had to order our stuff from. Want a cool NFL stuff?

[A]

Well still though, you kind of have that. You have family members that ask you to order stuff and send it to them because they can't or they would have to pay too much insane shipping to get it. So they instead make you pay the shipping.

[B]

No, no, no, no. They instead shipping. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. They're like, I don't want to be that John Will.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So like I, I shipped a hat the other day for my brother. No problem. But the hat was $44 and the shipping was 30 some dollars. And in Canadian, that's like a hundred and ten dollars.

[A]

How much of that you think you're getting back?

[B]

I'm gonna get back exactly zero dollars of that.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. People like, you know, I love your brother, but he loves a favor. And then I'll pay you back and then just forget. And it's not like intentional.

[B]

If I told you the amount of

[A]

times that I paid this, he's gonna be so mad.

[B]

He'll just be nodding his head the whole time. The amount of times that I have been paid back $0 is in the hundreds.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've lent and given a lot of money to people and, and I've gotten a lot of IOUs that were never cashed in.

[A]

What do you get from me when you give me money? Bj, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just kidding. A, I make my own money and B, I don't really give BJ's, but. No, that's not true. I do give BJ's. No. What? Just kidding. Anyway, I make my. We're just having some fun here.

[B]

Friday, fun day.

[A]

Talking to the microphone. There you go.

[B]

Friday fun day.

[A]

I know. It just got really quiet for some reason. I'm, like, making sure everything's okay. I know, but I'm just making sure the microphone's okay so that they can hear you. Can you talk again?

[B]

Yes, I'm talking right now. I am singing. I am singing.

[A]

Okay, now it sounds normal. It sounded quiet for a second. And what was I gonna say? Real. Just real quick, I was gonna cop to. I have a SBC global.net email and that now I have a Gmail that I used for anything else. And. And people I meet now. But like you said, my SBC Global is so old, there's too many people that have it. I just don't. It's. It's too complicated to try to change it.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I mean, even my agents send everything to that. I'm like, they must be like, can this get a Gmail? And I have one. I just don't. It's, like, for everything else, but this other one's so old. It's like. I mean, I don't know. There's gotta. I'm sure there's a way to make it easy. Anyway. Hi, guys. We're gonna talk about the book. Not the book. We're not gonna talk about the book yet because it's not week four. But as you know, topics inspired by the book. No spoilers until week four. This month, we are reading Summer Romance by Animal Annabel Monaghan. My June pick, Kill for Me, Kill for you by Steve Kavanaugh, is real good. So I haven't finished it yet. I mentioned this on Patreon the other day when we did our short story is we have a Patreon where we do short stories on the 15th of every month. And then we. On the 5th and the 25th, we do random podcast stuff, and it's only $5 a month. But the short story was really good. It was by Karen Slaughter. It was called Cold, Cold Heart. And it was so quick. It was like, I don't know, 30 pages or.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Something.

[B]

But it was good, though.

[A]

Yeah. And I like those because now I kind of. I want to. I'm gonna read something by her when we go to Cabo this week, I think, because I want to get a feel for.

[B]

We're going to Cabo. In a couple days.

[A]

Oh, we are. When you guys hear this, on Monday. We're leaving Thursday for Cabo, so we'll keep you abreast of what we're doing with our reading. And then.

[B]

Breath like a baby. Biblical.

[A]

Yeah, I got it. Yeah, I got it. I got that.

[B]

Like a breast.

[A]

It's like, the minute I said it, I knew you were gonna make a joke.

[B]

If anyone ever says, like, jury duty, what do you say?

[A]

I say, I don't like jury duty.

[B]

No, you say, oh, you said duty.

[A]

Okay, we're 12. But anyway. And then on the 25th, we get back on Memorial Day. So if you are a Patreon member, don't forget that your episode on the 25th will come out that day, but it will come out that evening because we're gonna record it when we get back, fresh off the airplane in our home, and tell you a little bit about our trip and what we read during our trip and who. Who knows what else. It's going to be a fun, random one. But anyway, my. I. So I'm reading my June pick, and it just got. I mean, it's. It started off good. It's been good from the beginning, but I got. I don't know, somewhere around 35. I thought I was way further in, and it got. Because it's real. Like, real. Like some went down. So now I'm trying. I want to blow through it. I just want to blow through it. And as we always talk about it seems. Feel. It seems too early to blow through it because I'm gonna have to remind myself what the book was after I read more money. But I can't help it.

[B]

My name is through it.

[A]

Because I said blow through it.

[B]

Through it. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Are you. Were you guys expecting, like, a mature book club podcast?

[B]

I don't know what happened today. I don't know what happened.

[A]

Well, last night we went. This is Monday that you're seeing this, but we're recording it on Friday because John's going to up. He's going to the Portland on Saturday, tomorrow. The Saturday that you before, you just heard this podcast. He went to Portland for the inaugural game of the Portland Cherry Bombs.

[B]

Hopefully, when you're listening to this on Monday, it will have been sold out and we would have won.

[A]

Yes. And the Bangers are the male soccer team, and they're playing Saturday night. So he's got a big weekend in Portland. We'll recap for you.

[B]

The weather's supposed to be awful, but we'll. We'll get through it.

[A]

People. People that are used to it.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

They don't care.

[B]

May is kind of hit or miss May. It can be 80 degrees or it could be 50 and rainy and. Wendy. So, yeah, Portland.

[A]

And then. And tonight, as we're the night that we're recording this Friday, we are going to see the Teen Beat live at this place called the Cinnavito, which is this like super fancy temporary structure. Right. Because it's a 10 temporary.

[B]

But it's been there for like three years now. Like, I think it's gonna. Yeah, I think. Well, we took my mom a year and a half ago.

[A]

I know, but I guess I thought it came down between, but I. Apparently not. Right.

[B]

I think, I think just right now, I think it just kind of lives on the sofa because it's a big. We say a tent. So you think of like one of those little circus tents from when we were kids. This thing looks like a gorgeous two story building inside of it. They said it's one of only a few in the world. And it's like a gorgeous room. It feels like you're in like a. Like a proper old school theater.

[A]

Yeah, it's really cool. And so we saw this Pulp Fiction or Quentin Tarantino, like an ode to Quentin Tarantino. So they, they played out certain scenes from all his movies and they. And everyone was singing. So it's like a musical. I don't know how you would describe it. Right.

[B]

It's very. It's unique because it's not really a storyline because let's go through like different scenes from different Tarantino movies. And it was so good. Like my, my. We took my mom, this was last February, and she's like. This is like.

[A]

She didn't.

[B]

She has no clue who Quentin Tarantino is, you know, and she's like, this is phenomenal. Like the, the, the level of the acting, everything. She thought it was incredible.

[A]

Yeah. So the one where it was in the one we're going to tonight, same production people and everything. And our friend Edward works for them with PR and stuff. So it's called Teen Beat Live. So it's a bunch of 80s soundtrack songs. I don't know. We're excited. We're going to that anyway now. So. Summer Romance by Annabelle Monaghan. We will do the full discussion next. It'll come out On Monday the 25th, your Memorial Day podcast. And we will record it before we leave for Cabo. Don't worry, we won't forget about you. We'll leave you in the dust with, with your. With Your desperate need to hear our thoughts on this book. But John, I know you had some ideas to discuss topics pulled out of the book, but not anything spoiling it for people that haven't finished it yet. Please tell us what you got.

[B]

I'm not, I'm trying to decide which topic to go first. I think I'll go with this about. Because your, your main character, one of the two main characters in this book is a skateboarder. Not professionally, just as a hobby. He's skateboarding. So I wanted to talk about hobbies that we have as adults that could be seen as childish or that could be seen as taking something from your childhood. Like, I know a few years ago adult coloring books were really big. Do you remember this? And I used to make fun of that a lot. And I know I'm hurting at least one of our listeners feelings right now by hearing this, but when I think about it, if it brings you any sort of joy in this day and age, who the f cares? Do it. But is there anything that you can think of that you do that could be considered like ch. A childish hobby or, or another spin on this as well is if you met a guy before you met me and he had a hobby that was. Could seen as a little bit childish, would you been turned off?

[A]

Well, it's funny that's, it's funny that you ask it that way because in this book, as John mentioned, it's not a spoiler. The guy, he's into skateboarding and he does own a skate park and he helps kids that want help. There's a whole more, there's more layers to it as you get in. But, but he loves to skateboard and he takes her skateboarding and he teaches her to skateboard. And there's a big piece of me that the, when I first read this, I'm like, what is this guy serious? Are we doing right? Are we doing that? And then, and like truly like this little judgmental piece of me that's like, oh my God, if some guy told me that was his pastime, I would dry up like the desert, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the more you read it, that, that goes away because you get to know the character. You get to know what, why he does it, what he does it. And that he also does well with it as far as helping other people. And that he also has a real job too. Not that that's not a real job if you're a professional. But he's not. But anyway, so there, it's so funny because there's this piece of you that is just your brain goes to how this is. Oh, skater boy or whatever. But that's not real, right? Like we have this quick judgment on these things that. I mean, football was your childhood hobby

[B]

and you did pretty well. I played a child's game until I was one month shy of my 41st birthday. And it was, it didn't seem sad when I was on the field, but when you're like out in a park and there's like a kid's soccer game going on one side and like a T ball game going on the other and you're like standing right in the middle and you just have a bag full of footballs and you're kicking them back and forth. I know there was a few people that were just like, okay, bud. Like this 40 year old guy sitting here in a park by himself kicking footballs, like, all right, buddy.

[A]

No idea that you actually did it for a living. And you were just sort of.

[B]

Those balls were my skateboard for sure.

[A]

Well, the funny thing though, about skateboarding, when we, you know, when you have that initial judgment, knowing that you're wrong. Like I said, I know I'm wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To have it and then, and then the more I read it, I'm like, oh, also, it takes incredible talent.

[B]

Oh God. To be able to.

[A]

I mean, I couldn't, Yeah, I couldn't even wrap my brain around the balance. And even when he's teaching her, I'm like, is she, how did she. Is, is she okay? Like, is she going to learn that fast? I feel like she's going to break something. Like that's all I'm thinking. So it's, it's these things that we think are childish or whatever actually take so much talent. And so, and of course there is a professional. You know, you can do it professionally and very well and also get incredibly injured if. And hurt your body and all the different things. But when you see them, even when you just see someone that's amateur doing it, I'm like, yeah, good for you because I fucking am terrified.

[B]

You know what's funny is almost every person in America, even if you never watch skateboarding, you're gonna, you can name exactly one professional skateboarder and you probably can't name two and will always say the same person.

[A]

I can't name any, but I know I should be able to.

[B]

Tony Hawk.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Tony Hawk is like, everyone knows Tony Hawk, but no one knows who the second one is.

[A]

You know, like, do you know?

[B]

I have not. No, I have no clue.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure there's people that do because they follow, but I'm just saying. Yeah.

[B]

If you went up to a guy on the street who never knows anything about skateboarding, he probably knows who Tony Hawk is.

[A]

Right. I have something interesting to tell you about skateboarding.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Now that you brought this up, is

[B]

this a Bucky story?

[A]

God, no. It's a peloton story.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

So I was riding my Peloton the other day and I did a pop punk ride. My second favorite ride next to rock ride is the pop Punk ride. I love it. We got. We get your Blink 182, we get your fallout boy. We get your. They all throw a little Avril Lavigne in there. Never been a big Avril.

[B]

She said, see you later, boy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Good enough for her.

[A]

Okay, now listen to me. I have heard that song a million times, million times. Never really paid attention to. Great song. Never really paid attention to it. Never thought about it. I'm listening to it and I'm like, oh my God, this is the pop version of Toby Keith's how do you like me now?

[B]

Your kids hear your cry down the hall.

[A]

She even at one point says something like, while she's at home getting the kids ready or putting the kids to bed, she sees him on tv, on mtv and she calls all her friends. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, this is the, this is the pop punk version. Oh, I love that. Really insane. And if you guys don't know what we're talking about. John and I are obsessed with how do you like me now? By Toby Keith. RIP Toby Keith. But he. This song, how do you like me now? It's about him becoming successful. Like hers is about the skater boy becoming successful. And basically like he's on the radio and, and he's like, yeah, you rejected me. How do you like me now? I'm on the radio. But then it gets real dark because at one point as we just sang, he's like, you know, your kids hear you crying down the hall. And then he's like, and then I come on your radio with your wake up call. So it's pretty dark. He's basically like, your life is absolute shit because you did it. But it's funny. And when I was listening to skater boy for the, for the first time as a 50 year old lady, really registering what it was about, I was like, she. She basically just took Toby. I'm not saying she, she didn't rip them off, but I just mean the Playbook is. I don't. She probably doesn't even. What. Whether she knows about that song or not doesn't matter. But it's like the playbook of that song turned into pop punk. Girl turning down a guy that was a skater. But it's from the girl's perspective that song of like, that's dating him now, instead of the perspective of the guy who's like, I. I never thought before,

[B]

but the second you started saying it, I knew exactly where you were going. Like, I was like, this is a Toby Keith rip. Toby Keith.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't know why. Maybe so happy while I was listening to it and I. Because I started thinking about the Toby he saw and then laughing. And I meant to tell you about it and then I forgot. And now that we're talking about a skateboard.

[B]

Do you remember?

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

The show called Marrying Millions.

[A]

I do.

[B]

And there was a woman in Seattle who had like a cosmetic brand, I think, and she was a multimillionaire.

[A]

The Gray Haired lady.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[A]

There was a really pretty.

[B]

Yeah, she was younger. She had gray hair, but she was like, just like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I just meant that that's. It stood out that she had. That's how I remember her. She had this like really beautiful show.

[B]

Like Millionaires who are dating or Marrying. Like maybe people that aren't so well off.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And she was married to this like this guy who was just like a fricking 20 year old, maybe even younger. He was like 19. She was probably 45. 40. And he was like 19. He was a skateboarder. Like, not professionally, just.

[A]

I don't know that he was that. Was he that young? I know that he was younger than her, but anyway, go ahead. Doesn't matter.

[B]

Yeah. And he was gonna look it up, but then that show got canceled because the guy in Dallas who's like. Like he was worth like 100 million or something. He was dating like an 18 year old and he was diddling. The show got canceled because he was diddling like 15 year olds. Do you remember? He was already creepy. I like that long hair. And he was like very, very possessive of this. Very young. She was barely 18.

[A]

Yeah. So. Okay, so I just. Real quick. I have. It was. Her name was Noni Ernani. I don't know how to say I know. N I e. She was 48. He was 31.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He lived as. He worked as an arborist and lived in a skate house with roommates when they met.

[B]

I mean, that. I mean, if I'm a woman. I'm getting pretty. Pretty dried up over that state.

[A]

Yeah, but I. The. The. That guy was the Texas. He was Dallas Bill Hutchinson. Yeah.

[B]

And Biven says he sees him around town. Like, he's kind of, like, well known in Texas because he's multi.

[A]

Like, I'm talking, like, he's not in jail.

[B]

I don't know. Because basically the show got canceled because he was diddling.

[A]

Well, don't say diddling. I mean.

[B]

Sorry. I mean, he was. He was. He was touching underage people that were not willing to be. Didn't want to be touched. Obviously, even if they do, it shouldn't be appropriate.

[A]

Well, then he should be in jail. Hutchinson jail. I'm putting that.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Charged.

[B]

Might be more.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you guys can.

[B]

Right? It's not good, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, don't. I'm not gonna talk about it, but you can.

[B]

But also Josh. Josh Hamilton, who Sarah's not a fan of, who played in the Major League baseball. The. The major league baseballs. They say his. What, his ex wife was on that and dating one of her daughter's friends.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He was like 18 or something, which was weird. It was so weird because they're. I mean, I know they're not together now, but it just. They. They were very. This religious couple. I. I don't know. It just. It was. Everything just seemed weird for her to sort of turn into this reality show woman dating a barely legal. I mean, he was legal, but still. It just all seemed. Everything about that show was weird now that you brought it. Except for that. I did like that. But we loved him. Of course. We watched. Now, this was before we knew anything disgusting about that guy. He gave me the creeps, but I didn't know he was an actual piece of. Like that. But the. The Seattle story. I was really kind of obsessed with that woman. She's beautiful. She had the skin care line, and it was all legit because, you know, sometimes you watch these shows and then you Google it and you're like, well, this person's full of it. Or they have a. They haven't actually gotten off the ground yet, or they have family money. And it was. It all seemed pretty legit as she had started. She was like. There was success.

[B]

There was one couple that kind of got that found out it was a con.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. He bought her, like, a cubic zirconia bracelet. And then he apparently had been like, three other reality shows playing different people. Do you remember that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the Other characters kind of checked out, but there's a couple on there that I think, upon further review, weren't real.

[A]

Yeah, they. I'll tell you what, they need to review further these shows. Mary and I talked about this already on last week's Are you my Podcast. I don't want to be repetitive for any crossover listeners, but if you don't listen. Are you my Podcast. You should. It's also very fun. But we discussed that Worst acts ever where they had a guy. So that's the Netflix series. They just had season two, and it's in. You know, some of the stories are pretty awful. So. But they're, of course, documented in this kind of lifetime y way that we all just want to watch them. But there was a guy that John and I remembered, and Mary remembered too, because she watched it from 90 Day Fiance that was featured on this worst X ever for being a complete monster. And he was on 90 day after he did all this shit. He didn't get convicted until after 90 day, but it was public record. He'd been arrested. He had a rap sheet the size of our house. Still got a 90 day.

[B]

Not for stealing Skittles from Walmart, people. This is for beating up women, taking them hostage, kidnapping. This guy's doing 18 years in prison right now for what he did. And it was.

[A]

They just let him on 90 Day Fiance. The girl googled him and found it.

[B]

You got. And also. Yes. You have a multi million. Multi Billion dollar network. A multi million dollar show. A background check is 1995. $19 95. Not even the fucking. Was it NBC? Is that the one the Bachelor's on? The woman was a domestic violence person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they let her on the show. Like, what do you. You guys are a multi billion dollar corporation and you let someone who is guilty of domestic violence host or be on a show where she's gonna date 25 guys.

[A]

It's all. It's insane. I don't. I don't understand.

[B]

Or a woman. I mean, if you like. What. What.

[A]

What.

[B]

What is going on?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know how they're not doing a little bit better. There's no way you didn't do a quick background. I. I don't. I don't understand. Anyway, we don't want to talk on this dark subject.

[B]

No.

[A]

Anymore.

[B]

No.

[A]

But. So I can't really think of anything and I can't. Hold on. I just want you to know I can't think of any childhood hobbies that I. Except drill team, which I don't. Can't do anymore, unfortunately. I wish I could. And then Belichick's wife still does. I. I can't. I collected stickers and I collected stamps. I used to have quite an extensive stamp collection, actually, and my uncle did, too. And I bet I had some that were worth something at one point. I don't know where those are now, but I liked. I was into. I had like a. My Uncle Glenn. You know, my Uncle Glenn, he got me a whole book to put them in. I was a real stamp collector back in the day.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I don't mean to brag, but I didn't have a lot of friends.

[B]

Yeah, right. Don't be ridiculous. I used to collect baseball cards, football, car. Like. Like, I loved collecting cards. And I had, like, a huge collection. And me and my brother, like, we're gonna be rich someday. Like, this is our retirement plan. All these cards from the late to early, late 80s, early 90s. And then there was one specific set of cards that came out. It was a CFL Canadian Football League card set. But we had just signed. There's a team called Toronto Argonauts who had just signed Rocket Ishmael, who was supposed to go number one in the NFL Draft, but instead of going to the NFL, he came to the CFL because Toronto was owned by Bruce McNell, John Kennedy, and Wayne Gretzky, and they paid him more than the NFL to come to the cfl. Oh. So they came with this card set, and it was only like, I think, like, 75 cards in the set, but the first nine cards were all Rock Ishmael. So me and my brother, we bought the whole set and we're like, someday like these, when he goes to the NFL and becomes like, the greatest player ever. Didn't happen. We're gonna have. We're gonna be so rich because none of these Americans will have this rookie card of Rocket Ishmael.

[A]

Oh, what happened with that?

[B]

So fast forward to about three years ago. My business partner's son brought me a box, a full brand new box of these cards from 1992. And he said, here, John, I thought of you because I got these from the farmer's market for $3.

[A]

So that plan. Did it work out?

[B]

I still. I still. So all those cards from the late 80s, early 90s, they're not worth the cardboard they're printed on because every kid in North America had the whole. All those cards. So none of them are worth any. They're not worth a fricking dime. But now, as a grown adult, I Have. I like cards. I don't buy packs in the store, but I've bought pretty much all the cards that I wanted as a kid that now I have.

[A]

You do have some that are actually worth something, right?

[B]

I have a Michael Jordan rookie card. I have a Wayne Gretzky rookie card. I have a Jackie Robinson rookie card of a Satchel Page card. So I have, like, all these cards that I wanted as a kid but could never possibly get them. And then now they're, like, worth some money. Like my Michael Jordan cards worth $40,000.

[A]

Oh, Jesus. Let's sell it.

[B]

Oh, Bill. It's a collection. You don't just. Would you just part with your stamps if they're worth 40 grand? No, of course. You.

[A]

Yeah, I don't need them. What is this worth? I forgot I had. Is this worth anything? I got a couple Mike Trouts.

[B]

It's not worth the. Yeah, it's. You know what?

[A]

I found a card signature. Oh, that's not Mike Trout. That's Mike Social. Sorry. But I do have a mic. That's a Mike Trout card. Wait. Oh, no, it's not. Where's my mic truck? This is Grant Green. Who? That is?

[B]

Yeah. That's not worth anything. The thing about cards is it's so important, like, what condition they're in. So if you have a Michael Jordan. If you have a Michael Jordan record, that's a 10 out of 10. It's. I looked it up. I looked it up. That's a remake card. So it's worth nothing?

[A]

It is.

[B]

Yeah. I thought. I thought I put it into, like, the. Where did I get it? I put into the AI and they thought it was an original. It's like $40,000.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Whatever. And it's not. It's worth, like, $3.

[A]

It's a remake CJ crone. Yeah.

[B]

It's not worth anything.

[A]

Okay, what about. I don't know why. These are just. Oh, Tyler Skaggs. Yeah. I really thought. I really thought I had a Mike Trout one in here, but I do have a Mike Social World Series land card.

[B]

Well, that means you should. Hold on. You know what?

[A]

That's worth a lot to me.

[B]

A lot to your heart.

[A]

That's my heart right here. But so, yeah, cards are very.

[B]

Like a car. Like a Michael Jordan rookie card. That's a 10 out of 10, which is very, very rare. Is worth, like, $300,000. Where if it's a 9 out of 10, it's worth, like, $40,000. That's.

[A]

I'm not really listening. I'm just digging.

[B]

I know, I. I know. I'm just like talking to a screen right now. My God.

[A]

But some of these cards aren't even set. But they're like. But these are yours, right? Because they're laminated.

[B]

No, no, no, no. Those are, those are yours. I think I put them in the. I put them in the. I put them in the little container things.

[A]

Piazza.

[B]

Oh, that's fun.

[A]

Anyway, yeah. If anyone was curious what I'm up to. Not cleaning out my desk. Nolan Ryan. That's a good one. Well, I mean, I just wanna. On my dreams here. God, I gotta collect stamps again. I can find something to do with

[B]

myself rather you didn't.

[A]

Well, buckle up. I'm going to start pulling stamps out next week. Do you remember when my mom has my stamp collection?

[B]

Remember when there's a big controversy about if they should have the old Elvis stamp or the young Elvis stamp? No, there was like a vote even, I think people voted on if they were going to have like a new. A young Elvis or an old Elvis. Fat. Fat Presley. Skinny Presley.

[A]

Oh, remember the. Hold on. With constipation here, I'm googling this conservation.

[B]

What?

[A]

Remember the whole thing where they said that he had a lot of. They keep part of his diet. His death was because of like severe constipation. He died with a bunch of like

[B]

jury duty in him.

[A]

Yeah, because really. Because he had like a chronic condition with something wrong with this colon. Anyway. That's awful and sounds awful and sounds sad, but I feel like people that do colonics and stuff tell you that story to scare you into getting them. And by people, I mean someone that gives me one.

[B]

I'm almost.

[A]

By people, I mean, I've fallen for it.

[B]

I have to get a colonoscopy when I'm 45, which is June, July, August, September, October, six months from now.

[A]

No, it's easy. It's a. You. You don't even. First of all, I know you're not as fun as me and you'll probably just take the Twilight anesthesia. I got fully knocked out. No, you have to get fully knocked out for that.

[B]

If there's, if there's, if there's any butt play, I'm getting knocked out for that. I'm not staying awake for any butt play.

[A]

Oh, wow, it just happened to you tonight.

[B]

Well, I'll be sleeping.

[A]

No, they. I think. No, you can't get Twilight because I think Art Doug Buten was saying that he only did Twilight, but like, you're away. You're not. You're not fully unconscious, but you can't feel anything and you're out of it.

[B]

Do you want to hear something crazy?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, a really. A really badass. My mother had three knee replacements and didn't get put out.

[A]

It's. She is. She is.

[B]

I think they gave her like an epidural or something. She could hear and smell the saw coming through her bone. Like she was awake. She was just talking to people. Well, she was getting a knee replacement three times.

[A]

It's insane. She is a complete badass. I would opt for full anesthesia just to get my teeth cleaned if I could.

[B]

I. I have to.

[A]

And it doesn't. And that doesn't bother me to get my teeth cleaned. I just. Yeah, I just like it.

[B]

He did give me a prescription for like something not for full anesthesia. No, no, no, no, no. But I said, can I get full anesthesia? And he said, I. I'm not licensed to that, but I'll give you a prescription for something that's going to make you feel nice next time.

[A]

But that was for something. You had something more intense than it. I'm. I'm talking about. I was joking. Like a teeth cleaning. But you had something actually pretty painful that you had to get done. Right? Like I had a bad.

[B]

I had a bad root canal that.

[A]

I mean, those are really painful. So that's. But yeah, I would. I full knocked out from my co colonoscopy is not. It's nothing. You wake up, it's over. You don't feel anything. The prep's easy now. All of it's easy. It's no big deal. I. I did mine. They go see in 10 years. That's how good mine was. Yeah. Take that elf. Anyway. Yeah. John's going to be 45 in November.

[B]

Well, this don't come. If you don't come back. You'll see Elvis in 10 years.

[A]

Okay. What else you got, John? We went really off the rails on this already.

[B]

Well, we can talk about long distance relationships. Obviously these two characters in here have a long distance relationship there that they're. For a while. They're like, we're not going to bend on it. We can't do it. We live two hours apart or whatever it was. It's not, it's not doable.

[A]

They make it seem in this book and we won't spoil it. I mean, I think everyone gets where it's going in the book, but it doesn't matter. Like, we won't spoil anything. We'll have a bigger discussion about a piece of this when we actually review it next Monday. But it's a little dramatic how they act about the distance apart from where they are.

[B]

It is and it isn't. Okay, I, I have both opinions.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because I think if there's, if there's certain things that tie you down to a certain place and you're not willing to budge on it, like, she has kids. And she's like, I'm not, like, I'm not moving my kids. Not doing that. And he's like, well, I work with these kids here with the charity stuff, and I have a skateboard in my backyard or whatever, a ramp. And like, you know, I started thinking like, there is, there is some things where. And also in her case, it might not be legal to move. She might not be legally allowed to move. I had, I had a cousin back home because she has a baby daddy. I have a cousin back home, a second cousin, and she had a, A baby out of wedlock. Oh, my.

[A]

And, oh, no.

[B]

Oh, no. And then she met a guy she was living in, I believe, in Saskatoon, not trying to brag. She met a guy from Vancouver, thousand miles away, fell in love. She's going to move there to be with him. The guy who got the kids every other weekend or got the kid every other weekend, said the court blocked it, said, you can't move. You can't move away from where the baby daddy is.

[A]

Well, and fair enough if you want your kids. I mean, I agree with that in certain. It depends on the situation, I'm sure. But of course, it depends on the situation for sure. But I get a parent saying, I don't want you to be able to take the kid and move. But I'm just saying they didn't. I. My point is, if you can drive to the place where the other person lives and back in the same day, it's not that big of a deal. I'm saying you don't have to move. You don't have to make this big decision. You can figure it out. I mean, I understand eventually you guys out. You want to live in the same house, but you and I had a long distance relationship until like three years ago. And we've been together.

[B]

Sarah and I've been together for over 12 years now. Over 12 years. Oh, don't say fallen chain. Yeah. I'm always like, oh, it feels like it was just yesterday. And you said, oh, it feels like another lifetime ago. We met. It was so long ago. Oh, God, this old chain.

[A]

No, it, it does. It feels crazy to me that it has been that long? Because it doesn't seem that long. In all truth, it's. I'm like, what? But.

[B]

And the thing is, is the first time we, like, we. When I played football, especially the NFL, what people don't realize is we don't just work from September to December. We work like 10 months a year. We used to get like five weeks off after the Super Bowl. I think they changed to nine now and then you get like four, three to five weeks off in the summer. When I say off, you're still working out five hours a day. But Sarah and I would. We'd really only be together full time in those two little windows in the winter for a month or two, and then the summer for a month. Other than that, we were, we were long distance this entire time. And the first time we really lived together full time, even though we had a house together for like eight years, was Covid.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that was the first time we were like, just together for like a year straight.

[A]

Yeah, because, I mean, and we're talking six months or so, to be fair. No children and jobs that allow us. Right. So to be fair, of course I, I get that, but I'm just saying these two are, are adults in this book and both of them seem happy where they are. And so just the panic of, what are we going to do? How are we going to make this work so early on instead of just going, hey, I can drive to see you and back in the same effing day. We'll get it sorted. Okay.

[B]

Yes, if you.

[A]

Now, is that it would. It wouldn't be as fun of a book if they were that rational. Be two pages. Yeah, but that's my point.

[B]

I think that if you meet your person, if you know that's your person, like, when I met you, I knew you were my person. It didn't matter. If you lived in Zimbabwe, we would have made it work. But there's. There's no. You can. If you really want to be with someone, you can move mountains to be with them. And if you meet someone who isn't the right person, like, I don't feel like driving an hour and 20 minutes. There's a lot of this in LA. When I talk to a lot of single people, there's a lot of this in la. They're like, that fucking guy lives in riverside. That's like 30 miles away. That's an hour and a half in traffic, 45 minutes at midnight. Like, we're not doing that. I hear this all the time in la. I'm sure. By the way, New York.

[A]

By the way, you hear it from me who just said these people can figure it out anytime. Like I'm such a hypocrite. Because anytime. Erica, our friend Erica is. She goes, oh, I, I was talking to this guy. I mean, she's doing online dating, whatever, and she'll meet someone. She goes, I don't know. He lives in Santa Monica. I'm like, no, that you can't go to Santa Monica. There's no. You know how long it takes to get to Santa Monica even though it's 10 miles away? Yeah, I mean, it'd be faster to go visit the, the, the woman and the man in the book. Faster. You get there fast.

[B]

But also people that aren't from LA. 10 miles can be an hour and a half, by the way.

[A]

Yes. So. So I should, as I say that these kids could figure it out. Anytime any one of my friends says that anyone lives outside of a three block radius from them, I go, that's not gonna work.

[B]

No.

[A]

What are you doing? You want to, you want to go to Silver Lake today? How you going to get there? It's going to take you all day. And then, and then you might. And then you got it. You might as well just stay for the rest of your life.

[B]

Yeah, it.

[A]

We got to go to down by Sofi tonight. I can't. We're so excited to see this show, but we gotta.

[B]

And then last night we went Uber.

[A]

We went to see the Indigo Girl. Indigo Girls last night. And it took an hour to get there. Took an hour to get downtown, which

[B]

is 14 miles, people.

[A]

14 miles. Took an hour to get there. This is why we.

[B]

22 minutes to get home.

[A]

And this is why we don't leave our three block radius and why I take back everything. I said don't be in a long distance relationship.

[B]

But. But also, if you guys have never been to LA, there is like 75 little tiny towns within LA. I never leave this neighborhood. The other day I had to drive to Newport beach and I looked down at my gas. My gas. What's it called?

[A]

How much gauge?

[B]

You know, gas gauge. Sure, we'll go with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there was a half, there was

[A]

a, there was odometer. No, no, no. Speedometer.

[B]

Whatever. Anyway, I had a half a tank of gas left when I got home. I filled up my gas tank in December. So that means I've gone through a half a tank of gas in five months.

[A]

Yeah. John doesn't drive. He hates driving. He gets annoyed. And we Uber a lot. Because if we're going out, if we, if we're going out, it's usually like, oh, we're gonna have a cocktail somewhere. That's why we do not drive.

[B]

We'll have a cocktail.

[A]

No. And then the other. And then also we're just like, I don't. Parking. I mean, it's, it's just easier to get dropped off no matter where you're going at this point.

[B]

Yes, we.

[A]

A lot of Uber if you, if you're able to.

[B]

I think that right now we have to wrap this up because I got to pee like Seabiscuit.

[A]

Oh, okay. The sea. Oh, because like a racehorse. Okay. You just put a name to it. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well, we were almost done anyway, so I don't want you guys to think that John said, yeah, we're abandoning you early.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

We put in our time.

[A]

Okay, guys, this was the most random podcast of ours yet.

[B]

And that's saying something.

[A]

I know. And it was fun. And you're reading Kill for Me, Kill for you next month. And we're reading Summer Romance by Annabelle Monaghan. The full review is coming next Monday. And go ahead, John.

[B]

I'll close this out.

[A]

John. John, left. Join the Book List spinners on Facebook. Join us on at the Book Lisp on Instagram. Join our Patreon if you're able. Rate, review and subscribe. Give us a big five star thumbs up on Apple if you have a second. And that helps us out a bunch and can't wait to hear your comments on this podcast. And we will see you next time week with the full review of Summer romance. The Book list.

[B]

The Book Lisp.

[A]

The Book List.

[B]

The Book Lisp.

[A]

The Book List.