← The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Head on a Swivel
00:43:23
It's Week 1 of your June Book Lisp. With no spoilers until week 4, Jon and Sarah discuss topics inspired by this month's read, “Kill for Me, Kill for You” by Steve Cavanagh. Jon and Sarah discuss thankless but tough jobs, Sarah’s future as a stop sign patrol woman, paying attention in public, Jon’s undercover friend, and much more. Enjoy!
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Transcript235 lines
- [00:00]
A
Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.
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B
And I'm John Ryan, and you're listening
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A
to the Book List. The Book List.
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B
The Book Lisp.
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A
Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna Ryan. I just forget to hyphens. I mean, it's not legal that way. It's not legally Sarah Colona Ryan, but it's Sarah Colona Ryan in my heart.
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B
It's not illegal, though.
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A
Well, we're legally married, but I didn't legally add Ryan to my last name because I was too lazy to go to the Social Security office. But, you know, you know, I'm a cologne Orion in my heart and in my son and in my bedroom.
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B
Preach, girl.
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A
Hi, guys. It's June. It's the June book list, which means it's my pick, which means we are reading Kill for me, Kill for you by Steve Kavanaugh. And can I tell you, when I say to you listeners that I picked a doozy of a doozy.
- [01:19]
B
Ram Dalama, ding dong dandy of a barn burner.
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A
I did. I picked exactly what John said, and he spoke Canadian just now. And if anyone got it, great. I picked a good one. It's a good book. It's when you get to. And listen, I don't know, maybe you guys figure it out earlier than I did, but when you get to a certain point and you go, whoa. What? Oh, boy, does it take a turn and. And just everything's. I. It's. It's. I mean, it's dark, obviously, because I picked it. But it's a very good book. I'm very proud of myself. I want to get ahead of the question on the podcast of John. Oh, what's John's July book? You will find out the day that this podcast comes out, which is Monday. June. Who? What is it First, I think. Is it June 1st? I'm trying to pick up my calendar, and I can't. Yes. So June 1st is when the day is the date this podcast comes out. I will not. We won't. We're not announcing it on this. We usually announce it the week of the next month. The first week of the month. We announce the next month's podcast, but we are recording this several days in advance. Wednesday, May 27, to be exact. So John needed a couple more days because he's going to Portland. So by the time.
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B
Got a lot going on.
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A
It's got a lot going on. Portland Pickles are starting this weekend or the weekend, two days before. You guys heard this. A lot going on in Portland with all the, the. We had a baseball team there. He has a soccer team. Two soccer teams, a women's and a men's. The Cherry Bombs and the. And the Portland Bangers.
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B
A retail store downtown. When we got everything going on right
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A
now, lot going on, we got a
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B
new warehouse for our merchandise company. It's. It's, it's all going on right now, baby.
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A
It's all going on. It's very good. That being said, because we recorded a few days in advance he had not settled on his book yet for July. So what will happen is we will put it on our Instagram story today, the day this book comes out. This podcast comes out on Monday. We always have a running list on the book list spinners on Facebook. The book list spinners on Facebook join that group. There's always a running list under the feature tabs of everything we're reading and the next month and all that stuff in. And. And I will put it in the title, in the description when I post about this episode today, I'll put it in the description on Instagram so that it lives on our feed. So instead of curious dming me, go to today's episode's post on our book lisp Instagram, and it will name the July book there as well, in case you're not in our Facebook group. Is that all enough, do you think?
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B
John moves a lot of information, but I think you got it covered, girl.
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A
I know, but I got to, because people ask me all the time. The other day someone wrote me and they go, you gotta read this book, Little Secrets by Jennifer Hillier. I go, it was her fucking April pick. And then she was like, oh, my God, don't get menopause. I knew I heard of it somewhere. And it was a funny. We had a funny exchange. But, you know, it's hard to keep everyone updated if they're not on Facebook or Instagram one or the other. Sometimes it's hard for them to keep it. But we always announce the books on weekly. We say the book again. So even though we're not saying it today, we'll say it next week, the week after, the week after. And it will be in the description on today's post on Instagram as well as the feature tab in our listeners group. That's the best I could do. We have a Patreon. We do short stories. We do ridiculous episodes. There's three extra a month. For now, we're probably going to add more because we have fun over there. We had our Memorial Day episode was just dumb and fun and unhinged. And the 15th of every month we talk about a short story that we always pick out. We keep a really short one for you. Great way to discover new authors and also authors that you already love to short stories by them. And then on the 5th and the 25th, we just do random podcasts sometimes about books. So join us there if you can. It's only $5 a month rate Review subscribe and here we are in June to discuss Kill for Me, Kill for your by Steve Kavanaugh. If you guys know how it works already, you know we're not going to spoil anything for you. We pull some topics from the books. We don't do the full review until the fourth Monday of the month. Do you have anything to say to the people before we discuss our topics for this week?
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B
Let's go. Well, I'll say this. I have started to read it, but I've been holding back. So I don't read it too quickly, even though I'll definitely probably be finished by the time this goes to air. But I've been trying to hold back. So I'm not all the way done your book. So I'm not as excited as you are for this novel.
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A
I know, but you're gonna be. I think you might go there. You might say, this is one of your best picks. Sarah, you might wake up tomorrow morning and first you'll say, sarah, you're so pretty, just like you do every morning when we wake up. Right?
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B
Yeah.
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A
And then. And then you'll say, oh, you're such a big brain. Check out the big brain on Sarah.
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B
I don't. That's not what I say. Second, No, I usually comment on your beauty and then your titties.
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A
True. Comments on those a lot. But he's a lot.
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B
Yes. Where my brain is where we wake up anyway.
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A
And then you might say, say, whoa, what a big. What a good pick. It just. It's just a really.
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B
No, I usually go to your butt after that. And then I might go to your brain.
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A
Can you keep it. Can you keep it to where the book listeners want to listen to this instead of going through the mind of you right now. Can you talk about books?
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B
Oh, yeah, that's gonna be like fourth or fifth on the. On the list. Wouldn't have won a bronze medal, but. But it would be like fourth or fifth. Your butt won the bronze medal.
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A
Okay. They don't want to hear this right now. They want to Hear that? My book is amazing. Okay, which it is.
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B
But.
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A
And then. All right, and then we pick. And then we pick.
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B
You married me. You married me. No takesy backies. No tiky backies.
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A
No. No takesies backsies. So, okay, so we're picking topics that we kind of pulled from the book. Like I said, you had something you wanted to talk about, which I thought was interesting that. Because there's many lawyers mentioned in this book. Right, Go ahead.
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B
And there's a lot of talk of lawyers early on and being a lawyer. Not that I am one, but it's an interesting job because there's, you know, like the lawyer is the one job where you go to school for. For like seven years and then people still kind of shit on you.
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A
Right.
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B
You know what I mean? Like, they're still like, yeah, you're freaking ambulance chaser. Or like a defense attorney. There's like a lot of negative connotations with a job that someone clearly has significant intellect and, and has gone to school for many years. So with that, I start.
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A
So much work goes behind becoming a lawyer.
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B
Yeah, but what other jobs are like that, that when someone goes to school forever, that take a lot of. A lot. A lot of intellect to become one of those professions, and then people still kind of shit on it. Can you think of it? Or on the flip side, jobs that are very, very highly respected.
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A
I mean, I would say there's a couple. So I think, yes, being a lawyer, of course we know for them, we. We how they meant to. So much school and so much money goes into it and this and that. And there's different levels of it. And there's different. There's defense, there's prosecutors. There's no, there's.
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B
But there's still connotations of being like professional liars and stuff like that. You know what I mean?
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A
Right. Well, just like. I mean, my first exam, My first thought would go to being a cop. I mean, it can't be. It's one of the toughest jobs in the world. And there's a. There's a bad egg in every, in every job. Right? There's. There's. There's a corrupt, a bad. There's a But to, to do something like that and risk your life for public safety and then have those bad eggs.
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B
Right.
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A
Make everyone hate you when really you got into it because you actually just wanted to protect complete strangers with your life. The military would be the same way. There's a lot of, you know, I mean, of. Of people. I, I mean, I definitely think that's more fringe that people are. Are not.
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B
Well, I think.
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A
I think that stuff.
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B
Police. Police officer, nurse, and school teacher are three of the most thankless jobs in the world.
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A
Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I would agree with that.
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B
I was thinking of jobs of, like, the people think are, like, easier than they are or harder, whatever. So I have. One of my really good friends is a firefighter. He's been a firefighter since he's, like, 21. He's, like 46 years old now. He's like. I don't know if he's a chief or a captain. I don't know the order of all that, but he's, like, crushing it. And his wife is a police officer, and these two shit on each other all day, you know, she's like, oh, it must be nice to be able to, like, go and work out during your shift. And then you guys have a. Go and have a sleep. You guys sleep during your shift. Oh, it's so hard. And he's like, yeah, go eat some more donuts. You guys sit in the coffee shop all day. Give me a fucking break.
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A
And by the way, they're a fantastic couple. It's a. It's a funny rapport. Just to clear that up for everybody. Yes.
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B
But also, she's like. Like, deep, deep undercover. She's so undercover and does such, like, badass shit that he. He's not even allowed to know where she is a lot of the time.
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A
I know. It's pretty crazy.
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B
Like, she's some, like, crazy. When she came to our house two years ago, and she was taking calls from, like. Like. Like, narcs on the street that wants to rat other people out. She was, like, offering the money to rat out other people. I was like, that. That really goes on. She's like, o. We got it under control. So I thought that. That's always funny. And then, you know, my buddy who's a firefighter is obviously a ridiculously honorable job. But that also made me think of a hilarious story about my other buddy who's a firefighter. And we. I think a lot of times, like, when you think of firefighters before I met my buddy from Seattle, he works in the Tukwila area. And I was like, okay, you go to a fire, like, once a month or whatever, you put it out, blah, blah, blah. He's works just off the 405, so he's like, I'm. I'm basically pulling, like, bodies out of crash cars every day.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Like, can you imagine that?
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A
Yeah.
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B
So my buddy he was.
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A
Oh, go ahead. No, go ahead, finish that. I, I thought you were. Go ahead.
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B
No. So my, my buddy Rich, firefighter still. And he was right after the Twin Towers went down on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, he got on a plane and went to New York and he dug through the rubble for a month, pulling out, you know, I don't even want to imagine. And now he, because of that, he's had like colon cancer. He's had cancer. And thank God for human being like Jon Stewart, who has fought for these, these men and women to get money from that, because you're not supposed to get colon cancer at 45 and have cancer five times. So at least he has some money for his family now and all that. But we were at, you know, my buddy Rich, my buddy Dave. Dave's the loudest human being on earth. So we go, this is like 10 years ago when I was still playing in Seattle. We go to that shitty Mexican place by our house. Remember that place? It was very like, it was in a strip mall. It was like a family restaurant. They didn't have a bar. We get there at like 4 o', clock, the place is empty. We're in a booth, we're drinking, we're eating. We don't realize we're getting a little loud. It's like 5:30 now. We also don't realize that the whole entire restaurant has like, filled up.
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A
Well, just real quick, I want to say, are we getting a little loud or is Dave getting a little loud? Because you and Dave are not loud people. Yes. And I, with all my heart, but he's got a voice.
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B
A couple, I heard a couple f bombs come over the top. And I was like. And I. We were just having a good time. Didn't look around. All of a sudden this entire restaurant had filled in with families. And so the manager came and said, you know, Mr. Ryan, you guys are getting a little bit loud. And I'm like, obviously, sorry, I didn't realize. But I was like, but also, I want to fuck with you a little bit. I go, yeah, I understand that, but my Buddy was at 9 11. Okay? Like you're asking a firefighter from 9 11. And Rich goes, actually, actually, I didn't get there until Friday. I go, my Buddy was at 9:14. Okay, so from then on, where I was like, my Buddy was at 9:14.
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A
Oh, you gotta laugh.
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B
We, we finished our margaritas and left.
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A
You did. That's so funny.
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B
But also, here's one more story. Here's one more 911 story. You know, while we're at it. So my buddy, okay, my buddy Rich, he goes back to the. Where the Twin Towers stood, and they have the whole, like, museum and everything. He went back to his son last summer, and they got there at like, it was like, I don't know, six o' clock at night or whatever. There's a security guard out front. He goes, I'm sorry, we. We actually closed at 5. And my buddy's like, oh, no problem. We really wanted to see it. My buddy's son, Liam, he goes, oh, like, my. My dad dug through the rally here for a month. And he goes, oh, not closed for you. Open the door and just let them in. And I was like, thank God stuff like that still happens.
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A
Yeah.
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B
You know what I mean? Like, it should. Yeah. And I was like that. Like, that's such a. I thought it was such a cool story because, I mean, the guy, literally, he wasn't there when the towers went down, but he was there digging through that rubble for a month and just like, kind of that respect. It's like, no, this is. This is still yours. I thought that was really.
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A
Yeah, yeah. And I mean, you think of people that were there, the people that came from others, all the. All the firefighters that came from other states and cities, and anyway, this is. We're not trying to bum anyone out,
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B
but this is a good, Good. I thought it was a good story.
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A
It is. It's beautiful. And. And that would be, I'd say, on the track of what we were talking about, another, uh. It's not a thankless job, but they're, like you said, people, you know, Listen, when I used to be single, okay, there. There was a group of firefighters that came into the coffee.
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B
Okay, do I need to hear about a hot. The firefighters in lar.
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A
Yeah, you do.
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B
Why do I want to hear about this?
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A
No, it was. It was this dumb thing where Jackie, my friend Jackie and I, we would go to the Coffee Bean around noonish because we knew that the firefighters would be swinging by for a little Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. And we'd peruse, you know, check them out now and then. We would joke about how a. Why do we assume they're always going to be here? Because they weren't. They. They would be for the most part. But like you said, they got. They got emergencies that come up when they don't. They can't necessarily get there at that time. So if they weren't there, we would be like, well, where. Why aren't they here today? And Jack would be like, well, maybe. Maybe they're putting out a fire.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Maybe they're doing their thing. But my. I grew up, as you know, in a volunteer fire department.
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B
One more thing about that. You guys were there at noonish. Do you know what time Sabrina Williams was there? Tennis. That's a good dad joke.
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A
Oh, because of tennis?
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B
Tennis, yeah.
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A
10. Okay, I'm just gonna leave a little moment of silence for everyone that wants to just laugh their ass off real quick at that joke.
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B
They are. They are pulling their cars over right now because there's tears in their eyes.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Like, I cannot drive right now when I'm laughing this hard at John Ryan's dad jokes. I can't. I can't like tennis. That's a funny joke.
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A
That's so good. So good. Go ahead. What else you got? Another one. I see it's brewing. Go ahead.
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B
Do you know what time you have to go to the dentist? 2:30. Yeah, 2:30. Sound. Well, a dentist at 2:30. 2:30. That's all I got there right now.
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A
Just to be clear. I've heard that one a million fucking times. And for any.
- [19:19]
B
From who?
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A
From you. Can I get back to what I was saying?
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B
Go ahead, caller.
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A
So I grew up in a family of volunteer firefighters. We ran a. We ran a volunteer fire department. My grandma was the fire chief. Truly. And everyone in my family was a volunteer. And then some have moved on to becoming professional firefighters. And to your point. Yeah. They're not just fighting fires. They're also EMTs. They're also going to car accidents. They're also going to medical emergency calls. They're going to everything that you can imagine. They all work together.
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B
Getting cats out of trees.
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A
They're. They're doing that too. They do do nice. They all do nice things like that.
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B
You said doo doo.
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A
Just like cops have to go around and pull fucking dogs out of hot cars because you idiots think you can leave your dog in a heart car. Like they don't have anything better to do. And I'm not saying that's not a. That's a wonderful thing to do. I saw a video just the other day of one cop got this dog out of the car. The poor guy, the poor baby was panting so much he's pouring bottled water into his mouth. It's the sweetest cop in the world. And I'm like, this is. It is a good use of our resources. And if. But if you idiots didn't leave your dogs in hot cars, then that cop wouldn't have to use the. We wouldn't have to use the resources for that. You could use it for everything. I don't know. Do you know what I'm trying to say? I'm not really finishing my sentences right now, but you get it. Don't be idiots. Just saying. They have every. Everybody in emergency services has a lot on their plate.
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B
They really do.
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A
So let's not get into it.
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B
EMT is another job that's very. Like. That's a thankless job. My God, they've seen some shit.
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A
Yeah. So. Well, to make it lighter, when John's friend.
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B
Hold on. I have another. I have another 911 story.
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A
I'm giving him a look, just so you know, because I knew that he was messing with me.
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B
But go ahead.
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A
You guys couldn't see it when John's friend. Who is. Who is the cop that he was talking about, who was married to the firefighter. She does. She does this undercover work. She does all kinds of crazy stuff, like deep undercover. And she was at our wedding. And my uncle was fascinated. My uncle, who was a firefighter and volunteer fire department, all these things. But, boy, was he fascinated and was asking so many questions that I don't think she could answer most of them.
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B
No, No, I don't think she was allowed to. But she.
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A
Yeah. And I. And. And. But that's. My point is in that kind of job where you can't. Where you gotta say what you do and allude to things, but then you can't expand when people start getting really interested, that must be kind of hard. I feel I'd be so bad at that job. I mean, you give me a couple margaritas, I'd be like, last week I was blah, blah, blah on, you know, such and such block. And I would tell way too much.
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B
It was. It's funny, though. Cause we. We, as I've said so many times, and every time I say this, I get yelled at from some asshole in Regina because I say I came from a small town that happened to be 200,000 people, but it felt like a small town because we all lived there forever. In a good way. But she did some undercover prostitution work for a lot of years. And I just wanted to be like, have. Did you ever pick up anyone we know? But she can't say shit because that means. But I know, like, just wink, wink once was it a school teacher? Wink twice did it. I want to know.
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A
But was it my brother?
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B
But she is a fucking steel trap. And I guess they recruit people like her, and that's why she's been a cop for 25 years. And she's like a badass cop because they know that she's like a steel trap.
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A
And they.
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B
But, I mean, I don't know how long that's classified for or whatever, but. But just like, not even be able to tell your husband stuff. Like, if you came home after a day of work and, like, I can't tell you anything that went on, it'd be. It'd be. It. It would be weird.
- [23:36]
A
I was like, listen, John, I had a killer set tonight at the comedy club, but I can't tell you about it because it was all tucked secret.
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B
Who. Who laughed? I'm like, I can't tell you right now, buddy.
- [23:46]
A
I can't tell you.
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B
I can't tell you who left.
- [23:47]
A
I can't tell you how many people.
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B
How long is your set? Can't tell you.
- [23:50]
A
Can't tell you. Can't tell you. Um, yeah, I don't have that kind of job and neither do you. But it would be weird. I mean, you think about people that are. That are. I don't know anything about the CIA, how any of that works. I don't know how much of. How much is true that you can't. Can you tell your family stuff? Can you not just. Do they know a little bit? I don't know. I just know I never want to be in a situation where I have to go into witness protection. So if there's shit you can't tell me, I mean, I know you're.
- [24:23]
B
I would love to watch a documentary about witness protection. Like, how the whole thing goes down. Like, I think we hear about it, like, in like. Like fake movies. Like, but it's like, if you're in witness protection, your whole life is just over, and they start a new life for you. And, like, where do they send you? Probably somewhere in North Dakota. Minot. You live in a Minot for a while, I'm guessing.
- [24:49]
A
Yeah. You don't think you get to go to Mexico? Do they give you.
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B
Do they give you a backstory? Do they give you a backstory?
- [24:55]
A
I think so. That's what they say in the movies. If we have any listeners in witness protection, we know you can't reveal yourself, but maybe you could comment anonymously on our post and tell us, like, what.
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B
What does it take to get into witness protection? Like, it has to be something like. Like. Like a lot. I always feel like it's mob related just because I watch the surprise.
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A
Something. Yeah, something like that.
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B
You come forward with testimony, you're gonna get shanked.
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A
Yeah. I mean, I think that we think it's all mob related. But there's, I'm sure plenty of other situations where if the, the only way you can help the defense, help the prosecution, help the cops, whatever is to is to.
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B
I started, I started watching a show today because I was looking for shows for the plane. Are you just laughing? Because I'm just talking about whatever I want.
- [25:49]
A
It's just. Yeah, it's just all over the place and it's a good time.
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B
So I started watching the show and I heard about this story a while ago and they found this guy just living behind Burger King and he was out cold. They called the police, they came and got him. They had no idea on him. They called him instead of John Doe. They called him bk. John Joe or Doe. BK Doe. And he, and he wakes up and he has no memory of anything that's happened the last his whole life. So someone came, some like, you know, documentary terian like found this fascinating. She started digging into the his life and they're going to make a documentary about like where did he come from? Where was his family? He has no id, no fingerprints, he's not on anything. He has no social media. They have no clue where this guy came from. She starts digging and digging and digging for like 10 years. The whole show opens up with a call from someone likely in the mob that says, you digging a little too deep here. I know where your daughters are. I know what school they go to. You might want to stop making this fucking documentary.
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A
Wait, what was the documentary called?
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B
I don't know. I'll look at it right now. But he, apparently he had like MO he was like some mob. But then people are like, whoa, is it fake? Is it whatever? Like was he really part of the mob? They like, they started digging to this guy's past. He had no clue about it, but he had some deep ties with different things that shouldn't be undone.
- [27:09]
A
And so, so, but he didn't know he had amnesia or.
- [27:12]
B
Yes, total amnesia. He has no clue. So right now I'm like, I remember hearing about this story and kind of like, kind of forgetting about it because I thought that it just kind of be lame, like eventually just be like, okay, whatever. And now it just keeps on going and literally, literally the many lives of Benjamin Kyle.
- [27:34]
A
Oh, so he did have initials bk or did they give him.
- [27:38]
B
I don't know if they. I don't, I don't know. I'm still. I'm on. I'm halfway through the first episode. It's a four Part series. It's very interesting, but the whole thing opens up with this woman who's been putting her life and soul into making this documentary and just her bawling her eyes out to, I don't know, the police or the producers or whatever. She's like, I, I, I'm done. I'm out. I'm out. Like, they know where my family is. They're coming for us. And she's like, I'm not on social media. No one knows who my kids are because it's so like everything. And these people know. And they said, stop looking into this guy or it's going to change like it's crazy. Right off the hop.
- [28:11]
A
This is the AI overview documentary miniseries Many Lives. Benjamin Kyle, 2026, investigates a true story of a man who woke up naked with amnesia behind a Burger King. Who hasn't, Am I right? In Richmond hill, Georgia, in 20 2004. In he called himself Benjamin Kyle, using Kyle because it matched the initials of his temporary hospital named BK Doe. Despite DNA testing in 2015 that identified him as William Burgess Powell, a man who walked away from his family in Indiana decades prior. The new documentary reveals a much darker backstory. Oh, where have you been watching this? That I don't know anything about it.
- [28:55]
B
No, babe, I went to download TV shows because I'm going to Portland tomorrow. So I went to download for the plane and this one came up and I recognized, like, hearing about this story years ago and never kind of forgetting about it. So then I just thought I watched like, the first 20 minutes to see if I'd be into it. And it's. I'm into it.
- [29:11]
A
So this is one we're not watching together, is what you're telling me.
- [29:14]
B
We could watch it tonight.
- [29:16]
A
I'm going to watch it without you. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'm going to wait
- [29:20]
B
till you fall asleep and watch it right next to you while you're sleeping. Whisper all the spoilers. Whisper all the spoilers into your ear while you're sleeping.
- [29:31]
A
And then I'll wake up naked with amnesia of what you told me and it'll be just like the documentary.
- [29:38]
B
Hey, girl.
- [29:39]
A
Okay, so. Well, that seems like something good to watch. Now, back to topics we pulled from the book.
- [29:48]
B
Oh,
- [29:51]
A
I think we don't have a ton of time left, so we'll do something kind of short, which was one that I wanted to talk to you about, which was now I can't find. Oh. So in this book there's a few different characters. You'll all see where it goes. But Amanda. We open up with Amanda and she's the one who's targeting somebody on a very busy train. This is very right in the beginning. And she is trying to kill this person. So this isn't a spoiler because it happens right away. So she's trying to kill somebody. You'll see why later, all these things. But she talks about how he doesn't. Nobody on the fucking train seems to notice that this lady's come in guns a blazing. One gun a blazing. Trying to kill somebody. He doesn't notice. She says she could tell he's looking down at his phone. Other people we gotta look up from our phone. Sometimes I think you never know who's trying to kill you. And we're all guilty of spending too much time on our phone looking down. But I'll tell you what, in public, walking head on a swivel, people. And this is just. I'm talking because people run stop signs. We have a very busy, very quiet. We live on a quiet street, I should say. But we have this, the. The three way stop sign, right? There's a. It's on our side and then on the two and on both sides of the cross street and then the other. And then there's a apartment complex on the other side. So it's not. That's why it's a three way there. These people. John, now I'm just stopping.
- [31:34]
B
You have to preach to me. I'm your biggest fan on this one.
- [31:38]
A
They don't. There's not even a brake tap going through these. This is a. It's a pretty. It's Moorpark Street. It's pretty busy. And people just blow right through that stop sign many times because they're looking down at their phone.
- [31:52]
B
And not only is there a stop sign, there's a big fucking solid white line on the street that says stop in front of it. To really drive the point, to really drive the point home.
- [32:04]
A
It's an obvious three way stop. It's. Now I think what happens is it goes through to a major street, okay? So a lot of people are trying to blow through there to get to Sepulveda Boulevard and get on the freeway and all these things. Doesn't matter, no excuse. You're blowing through these stop signs. A lot of times you're looking at their phone or they're just looking at their own asshole, because that's where their head is, okay?
- [32:26]
B
Flexible.
- [32:30]
A
And I learned early on living on this street because we had the same problem on the street that we lived on, which is just three streets over before we moved to this house. Same problem at a four way stop. They blow through it. And if you're God forbid, walking with your groceries, just trying to have a nice afternoon, maybe, I don't know, listen along to a Disney song in your head.
- [32:57]
B
Had a couple too many at Tipsy Cow. Walking a little left, left, right, you will.
- [33:03]
A
No, but I'm talking about, we live in a residential neighborhood. People are pushing their kids in their strollers. Nobody gives a shit. They blow through these stop signs.
- [33:12]
B
Oh my God.
- [33:13]
A
It is unsafe behavior. So what I'm pulling from this topic is look the fuck up from your phone sometimes, especially when you're in public. Don't kill anybody that's just trying to get home from pavilions with a nice head of, well, Maine lettuce and some radishes to make a salad that night. I literally told John at one point I was like, you have to, you have to be very careful when you're crossing that. We have maniacs living in these neighborhoods and I'm concerned that I that's. Now I have nightmares. That's how I'm going to lose him. I'm going to find out that he got run over just walking over to, to the postal place or his storage facility because some of y' all can't look up from your phone long enough to stop and tap the brakes at a stop sign.
- [34:05]
B
She has made me promise her to be very careful at this intersection. She used to be say be careful in your car, but I don't drive a car anymore, so I just walk everywhere.
- [34:15]
A
He's walking everywhere because he thinks it's safer. But now it doesn't seem safe anymore because it seems like at any moment you could get run over too.
- [34:23]
B
I think I probably will die on foot. I've always said I will die on foot.
- [34:30]
A
Yeah, you have always said ever since I met you. First question.
- [34:33]
B
There's a lot of ways to die. Mine will be on foot.
- [34:37]
A
Right. So don't you think people should look up more from their phones?
- [34:43]
B
Well, my biggest problem with this is when people have no spatial awareness in a place such as an airport.
- [34:51]
A
Yeah, well we. I know, I know. We go on these races.
- [34:54]
B
Okay, I'll stop it. But I'm just like pull over the same way you'd pull over in a car if you want to take a text message. And my dream, my dream lax, they should just hire me as the phone swatting guy. I walk with a frickin. Probably an orange like cape.
- [35:12]
A
Oh, I like it. I like it.
- [35:14]
B
Yeah, I Just walk down. And when I see someone going like this looking down their phone, I just walk by and go boop. And just smack it right on the top and hit it on the ground to look up. Next time, walk up, boop, look up. And I just do that all day. Can you imagine? You think the meter maid has it hard? Imagine the guy that swats people's $600 phones out of their hands. There gonna be a lot of pissed off people come at me, people. I'm going to start, I'm going to do it tomorrow at the airport.
- [35:39]
A
You're a big guy, so I feel like you wouldn't be in danger. We've talked about this before so we won't go off on these tangents again. But my dream is similar, which is. But I just get to scream, walk right, stand left. I just get to stand behind you and scream that on the moving walkways that people now think are just a escalator, I guess, or I don't know what they're doing.
- [36:09]
B
I will give people a break on the escalator at airport, but not on the walk on the people mover. You don't get a break. You stand on the right, you walk on the left on the escalator. It's tough because you have a bag with you.
- [36:21]
A
Well, that's why I said they think it's an escalator. And it's not.
- [36:24]
B
It's not.
- [36:25]
A
It's the escalator. You can't. You do I? Do I? But you know, oh boy, I get myself all the way over to the right. I get out of everyone's way because I have my carry on and I don't want to drag it up the escalator. But when on the moving thing again, do the same thing. But if someone's coming around, you move. But I don't even know how do we get on this?
- [36:46]
B
I don't know.
- [36:48]
A
Oh, because I want to be. What I want to do my other dream job is because of the stop sign situation. And I think, and what I want to say to you, John, and I think you're aware of this is it's coming, right? It's coming sooner than probably anybody wants it to. I think I'm too young for the job that I'm about to do, which is a self appointed job. Thankless. It's going to be thankless and payless. But I'm two seconds away from sitting in a folding like a lawn chair with an umbrella and screaming, screaming at people to stop and clocking their speed at the three way stop in our neighborhood. I mean, I might even fucking start tomorrow. That's how close I think I would
- [37:44]
B
just like to sit up there with you. And then whenever something we just yell at them and throw tennis balls. It's not going to break their car. But if you're driving, you get hit with a tennis ball, you. It jars you a little bit. I'm not going to break their window. I'm not going to be a throw an egg. But if you just get hit by a tennis ball, you're going to be like, what the fuck just happened? So I think that would be a good starting point. You.
- [38:06]
A
What about a brick?
- [38:07]
B
No, I think that that's, that's when, that's when the police come back. Like when I yell at that kid in the white Corvette.
- [38:13]
A
Oh, yeah, we had an incident once.
- [38:17]
B
Oh, we've talked about it. I think.
- [38:18]
A
I know, I know. Long story short, wasn't good. Guy threatened to shoot John because he had almost.
- [38:26]
B
That was another one. That was a white. That was a white Mercedes.
- [38:30]
A
Oh.
- [38:31]
B
Because he almost hit us in an intersection.
- [38:33]
A
Almost in an intersection. In a crosswalk.
- [38:37]
B
Yes, in a crosswalk.
- [38:40]
A
You get to go. We are in the crosswalk.
- [38:42]
B
Where it says green right between the white lines. Right between the white lines.
- [38:45]
A
Shows the green people can walk. Anyway, we got to get off of this. We sound like two psychos.
- [38:51]
B
We are.
- [38:52]
A
That's true. We should just embrace it.
- [38:55]
B
Just fucking own it.
- [38:57]
A
I mean, we do. We own it.
- [38:59]
B
We do. Yeah.
- [39:01]
A
But if you're talking about a thankless job,
- [39:05]
B
it's our new job of sitting in the corner throwing fucking tennis balls and cars driving by too fast.
- [39:12]
A
I don't know about the tennis ball thing. I was just gonna.
- [39:15]
B
I want some support.
- [39:16]
A
Stand up and just.
- [39:18]
B
I'm saying if you don't realize that you just ran through a stop sign going way too fast, you're not gonna realize someone's yelling at you across the street either.
- [39:27]
A
Right.
- [39:28]
B
But if you hit the tennis ball the side of the window, it's really. They jars them away.
- [39:32]
A
I know, but they, but then they still don't know why they think, ooh, ooh, weird neighborhood. Someone threw a tennis ball, I got hit with it. Oh, it must have been a rogue tennis ball from a pork.
- [39:41]
B
They look up, they see two assholes sitting there in lawn chairs with a fricking. What's it called? A speed gun.
- [39:47]
A
Right. But they don't see the stop sign. They don't see it.
- [39:50]
B
No.
- [39:51]
A
It's always too late.
- [39:52]
B
But they say, oh, I came through the wrong neighborhood. I shouldn't come here after dark anymore. It's over. I'm going to take Ventura Boulevard right
- [40:03]
A
in the middle of the neighborhood.
- [40:05]
B
We shouldn't come here before dark anymore.
- [40:08]
A
What if we just put down those. Like those. Those spike strips that flatten people's tires?
- [40:13]
B
Oh, my God. I. When we got in trouble for this Corvette guy, I thought of everything. I'm like, next time I'm gonna. That's when my mind just goes too far. Like what? This kid driving 80 miles an hour down our street with trick or treaters walking down our street. He could have killed someone that night.
- [40:32]
A
We. We've told this story. It was somewhere. It was around Halloween.
- [40:35]
B
I'm still angry about it. I'm still.
- [40:37]
A
I know, I know. I'm just not trying to repeat so that it was around Halloween, if you want to go back and listen. But we had a real bad egg driving up and down our street real fast on Halloween.
- [40:50]
B
There's no lights. There's no lights on our street. There's no sidewalks.
- [40:53]
A
No sidewalks.
- [40:53]
B
That's how quiet it is. Families walking down the street. This kid comes up and down our street probably seven or eight times. Not joking. I have it on my camera. And his car was just a flash driving, like 80 miles an hour.
- [41:05]
A
Yeah. And you know what? The cops told us that we were out of line for calling the cops
- [41:12]
B
because they said, you need to. I go. I was gonna go out there and do something about it. I was gonna make sure he didn't drive anymore. And they said, you can't do that. You have to. You have to call us. I'm like, okay.
- [41:21]
A
Yes. Now they were very nice. Again. Again, we're talking about thankless jobs, but that night, our job was thankless. It was our job that was thankless.
- [41:31]
B
Was it ever?
- [41:33]
A
Yeah. All right. Are you done?
- [41:35]
B
Yeah, I think I'm done. I'm just angry. Gonna go look for that white Corvette again.
- [41:40]
A
If anyone has seen a white Corvette, call John. If anyone is here for the first time, I'd like you to know that we are fun, and our book podcast is fun. And we do do a book review on the fourth Monday of every month, so keep that in mind.
- [42:02]
B
If you listen to this for the first time, you're like, this is a book podcast. They talk about books. Not yet. 42 minutes in. Well, thanks for being here, listeners.
- [42:17]
A
On the fourth. Fourth Monday is. Is when you get your full book review. And. And we're unhinged a little bit from time to time. That just is what it is. We love you. Thank you for listening. We will see you next week. Kill for Me. Kill for you is the book that we are discussing this month on the fourth Monday. And John's pick for July, which is crazy that that's already here. God will be announced. You just go on the Instagram the post about today's episode. Look in the, in the description.
- [42:49]
B
Here's why it's taking a little bit, a little long because for July, if you're the, you're the beach reader. The beach books, which I read for July, you got to knock it out of the park.
- [42:59]
A
Yes. It's a big gotta be the best
- [43:00]
B
beach read of the year.
- [43:02]
A
It's a big month for him. And, and if you're on Patreon, the short story will be announced very soon by today, I'm sure as well. So everything is there. Everything's available. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you next week.
- [43:16]
B
Bye.
- [43:16]
A
The book list.
- [43:18]
B
The book lisp.
- [43:20]
A
The book list.
- [43:21]
B
The book lisp.
- [43:22]
A
The book lisp.