← The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
It’s all in the Presentation
00:47:52
It's Week 1 of your December Book Lisp. With no book spoilers until week 4, Jon & Sarah discuss topics inspired by this month's read, “Christmas Presents” by Lisa Unger. Believing in Santa, pride in gift wrapping (and bed making). Plus, Jon misses the good old days of free swag, Sarah recalls a winter trip with her fellow WAGs and much more. Enjoy!
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- [00:00]
A
Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.
- [00:02]
B
And I'm John Ryan.
- [00:03]
A
And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.
- [00:08]
B
The Book Lisp.
- [00:09]
A
Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. Happy to be here. How you doing, John?
- [00:21]
B
I'm doing well, thanks for asking. You came. You came through really loud there for some reason.
- [00:28]
A
I did.
- [00:28]
B
Now it's more equalized.
- [00:30]
A
Oh, okay. Well, maybe. Maybe a whole weekend of being home and not having to go anywhere together has made my voice more annoying to you.
- [00:41]
B
Not a thing, girl.
- [00:43]
A
Okay, well, we'll see. Welcome, guys. We are kicking off December Book Lisp. And we all know that means it's Sarah's turn. We're going to read Christmas Presents by Lisa Unger. I'm halfway through it. I'm really enjoying it. What about you?
- [01:01]
B
I really liked it. I read it a month ago.
- [01:05]
A
You finished it already? I. I'm like, 60% through. I'm really liking it. I like that. We have a podcast and are doing a book about a podcaster searching through a true crime. So that's what it's about. And. And, yeah, it's about an unsolved mystery and a podcaster who's like a true crime expert. Unsolved murders, I should say. Two girls are missing in this small town, and the guy. There's a guy convicted, but they're not sure it was him. And everyone's got questions, and this guy's trying to reveal the truth. It's a true crime podcaster. So for those of you that don't read with us, I had someone say, hey, if you gave us a little synopsis of what it is the book you're reading is about, it might help us, because some people just list because they love. They love our sound of our voices.
- [01:54]
B
Well, thank you.
- [01:56]
A
No problem. You're welcome. John would normally announce his book today, however recording a couple days ahead of time. So on Monday, when this podcast comes out, it will be posted in our group Facebook group, the Book List Spinners, and on our Instagram at the Book Lisp. Right, John?
- [02:13]
B
That is correct.
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A
His January book for what'll be, you know, a nice.
- [02:17]
B
I'm debating. Debating between a couple.
- [02:20]
A
He's debating between a couple. Join us on patreon. It's only $5 a month. You get exclusive episodes three times a month. At least one of them is a short story, and those are super fun. I'm gonna find something nice and light for the Short story this time because last time I got kind of a dark one. And then.
- [02:37]
B
Well, then the time before that, I think I picked a dark one, too.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Lottery.
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A
We're gonna find ourselves a nice light short story. But the short stories are like 30 to 50 pages. They're. They're very quick reads. So they're. It's really fun to have that extra stuff over on Patreon and on Audible.
- [02:52]
B
They're usually like a dollar.
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A
Yeah.
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B
If you just want to listen. They're usually like, literally under a dollar. They're very inexpensive.
- [03:00]
A
They are. So that's one thing you can do. And then also, hey, come see us. It's in Spokane on New Year's Eve. Well, before that, I have a show. It's in Snowmass, Colorado, on December 17th. And then Spokane, New Year's Eve, Tacoma, January 2nd and 3rd. John will be at all the Washington dates with me, as he always is. You'll probably be with me in Springfield, Missouri as well when I do Valentine's weekend. I have three Iowa dates. Jefferson, Emmitsburg, and. And Clinton. And those are all Wild Rose Casino and Resorts. All this is on Sarah Colonna dot com. So just go get your tickets there.
- [03:40]
B
You know, we don't get any snow here, so it'll be nice to see a little bit of snow in Spokane.
- [03:44]
A
I know, around the holiday season. Yeah, we're going to. We're going to spend the New Year's Day because it's the same owners of the Spokane and Tacoma, and they were like, whichever place you want to spend your day off because they're not going to do a show on New Year's Day. So we decided we're going to spend it in good old Spokane. So we see us around there, say hi. Oh, I know we have a lot.
- [04:05]
B
Of fun in Spokane. Sometimes in the state of Washington, Spokane gets a bit of a bad rap, but it just. It just. Just haters. Haters out west hating the haters out East.
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A
Haters gonna hate girl.
- [04:15]
B
Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
- [04:19]
A
Yeah. Okay. What else do I need to tell you guys? Nothing. So this book. I just told you, we all know what it's about. No spoilers until week four, which is coming right up. Crazy enough, but there was a few things I've pulled from this. And of course, it's. It's John Ryan month. We all know this. I. It's John Ryan's favorite month. December. Well, November is almost your favorite month because it leads up to December and you started decorating, right?
- [04:49]
B
Yeah, yeah. I started up like it takes me a good three weeks. I keep on saying I'm almost done and then I find something else that I need to do.
- [04:56]
A
Yeah, but it does, if I used.
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B
To like hate it, that would take me so long. And I wish I would just do it all like in four days, but I actually enjoy it. So I just accepted the fact that it takes me three weeks.
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A
Yeah, I think it takes you longer because in your heart you want it to take longer. You, you know.
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B
Yeah.
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A
It's like you, you, you trick yourself into thinking that it's shorter and then you're like, no, I'm going to, I'm going to milk this for all it's worth. Yeah. So it's John Ryan month. So it's not, it's not too hard to find topics based on a book that has a Christmas the name, the Christmas presents in it and is takes place during Christmas time. But there is one thing that's kind of early on in the book where she's talking about a couple things about growing up. And I feel like because you are such a Christmas lover, it might help our listeners understand where some of that comes from if we discuss this a little bit. So first there was, she talks about the magic of believing in Santa when you're little and how her sister would always go downstairs first and the cookies would be gone and, and her sister would, would claim that she either saw Santa eat them, you know, you're like, I'm sure I saw him. And how it was when she, when she learned that there was no Santa but her sister still believed in him, that kind of thing. So I feel like it's gotta be kind of hard as a parent once, one kid depending on their age gap. Right. Like once one kid finds out. Do you remember, did you ever believe in Santa?
- [06:33]
B
Yeah, yeah. Until like I think right around like second grade is when I was like way. So I mean, I think that's kind of a normal time. How old are you in second grade? Eight or nine.
- [06:44]
A
Yeah, sure. 8ish.
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B
Eight. I think so. Yeah. I think it was around then when I figured it out. And I think, I think at the time I still want to almost like pretend like it was real because it was more fun.
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A
I know, I remember I did that once. Like I knew for sure it wasn't real. And then once. And by the way, I hope I'm not spoiling that Santa's not real for any of our listeners.
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B
I don't think a lot of like under 9 year olds listen to this Plot. I hope not.
- [07:09]
A
Yeah. Keep your headphones in if you're listening around the kids. But we. We are. You know, like, I remember when I found out because I have a sister, she's three years older. So I think we found out around the same time because there wasn't a really big age gap. So it was kind of like, all right, time for everybody. But probably when I was five, I still did, and she was eight and she didn't. But I do remember at one point when I was a little bit older and we were wrapping all the presents, my mom. I was helping my mom wrap presents, and. And Santa was on there. He was on the paper, and I pointed at him and I was like, so. So he's not. He's not real. Right. I mean, because I wanted just to. I just kind of wanted her to tell me that he was for a second, even though I had known by it for a good year and a half. So I was probably, like the same age as you, probably second grade or so. But I wonder what it's like. So, because you have such a big family, did you guys all know at the same time that he wasn't really.
- [08:05]
B
No. I think this is how I know that I have really good sisters, even when they were young, obviously. My sister Erica's four years older than me. Jill's two years older than me. We're almost exactly two years apart, like, within a week of each other. And so obviously, Erica knew, like, I was 8 when I found out, 7 or 8. And so she would have been like 11 or 12. So she obviously knew for years, but she never passed that down. Yeah, neither. Neither did Jill. And then neither. And then. And then we hung on for so long that we're like. Well, like, the three of us know, but we have to make sure that Steve doesn't find out because he's two years younger than me. And we. And he never let on that he knew. But I was like, the guy. He was like. He was, like, getting hand jobs in the high school locker room. We were still like, no, he's definitely still a bullies. Like, I think he was like, 13 or 14. Like, I think he still believes. And, like, he's like, the most. Like, he's not naive at all. He gave up on it years before, I'm sure.
- [08:59]
A
Right. But you guys thought when he was 13 that he still knew.
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B
Yeah. He never said anything. Oh, he never said anything. So we're just like, we have to keep going until he brings it up.
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A
Right. And then he never did. No, no, Maybe he still believes. Yeah, I think. Oh, well, yeah, I think that's. That's what I was wondering. Is there some big discussion when you have a bigger family about it? A big. We have to keep it from Steve. Okay, so you guys did, and then I guess just eventually just dropped the subject because he never came to you. And it was like, guys, Santa's not real.
- [09:32]
B
Yeah. Yeah, there was. I don't remember ever having that conversation. It's so funny because I remember kind of like when I found out, I was kind of, like, disappointed, but I wasn't, like, heartbroken. When I was five and six years old, kindergarten, first grade, before I really discovered sports, I loved wwf. Like, the wrestling. I loved it. And I remember I was at my neighbor's house across the street, and he was older, and he told me that it wasn't real. And I remember being heartbroken, like, devastated that these guys weren't actually, like, fighting each other.
- [10:04]
A
Like, that was more upsetting than San Francisco.
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B
It was more upsetting to me. The WWF was not real. And then it was. It was, you know, Plotted. That's the right word. Plotted. Orchestrated, whatever. Then I. When I found out that the Santa wasn't real, it was. It was a devastating. I still remember where I was when Aaron Coley told me was not real.
- [10:25]
A
That is not right of Aaron Coley to go do that to you. Wait, so it's not. Is that real? Is that true? It is all orchestrated.
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B
Yeah. I mean, they have a ton of writers. Freddie Prince Jr. Used to be a writer on WWF, actually.
- [10:38]
A
Oh, really?
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B
Yeah, they have, like, a whole team of writers doing, like, the whole entire storyline. Because, I mean, they. They go like, almost, I don't know, like 200 some days a year or whatever. So they. It's like. It's like a soap opera for adults. I haven't. I literally. I don't think I've watched it since I was 7 years old. Once I discovered real sports that aren't orchestrated, aren't predetermined, then I. I lost my love for the wwf.
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A
Wow. Well, thanks, Aaron Coley. Is that who you said? Yeah. I. I would think as parents, if any of you listeners are parents, you can tell us how you did it, because I would think it would be very complicated if you have a gap.
- [11:17]
B
I have 12 nieces and nephews. Yeah, they're all of the age now, I think. What none of them believe.
- [11:23]
A
Right. Yeah. Because Mary would be the youngest and she's. Oh, she's got to be nine years old now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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B
And she grew up with four older siblings. I think it probably. She probably figured it out. But my sister is telling me how a lot of the parents nowadays, they have problem. They think it's like it's lying to their kid by telling them Santa's real. And someday they'll hold that against them for lying to them over those years.
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A
Come on.
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B
Come. It's a real thing. The parents. I can't lie to my kid. It's not right. I'm like, you know what? Some lies are for the best of everyone's interest.
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A
Yeah. It's just a little fun. Yeah. And if your kid grows up mad at you that you let them believe in Santa Claus, then you've got the.
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B
Ball on a lot of other things. Yeah.
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A
But I would think also that it would. It would. Yeah. If I could see. I could see your kid being mad at you if you let them go until like, 12 and they find out at school.
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B
Right, right.
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A
Look like an idiot. But other than that. Yeah. You don't want your kid. Your kid. Hopefully your kid's not mad at you for. For just letting him have a little fun with Christmas. Because I do remember that feeling is fun when you wake up in the morning and there's all these presents under there that weren't there the night before. And I made my mom. Though my mom and my stepdad still do that. So up until the point that I was.
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B
Yeah. Oh, yeah. In.
- [12:42]
A
Until I stopped going there for Christmas when you and I got together. Because he was always. We talked about this before. He was always playing at Christmas or working at Christmas, so he didn't get to go anywhere. So I started going there. And I would still make my mom do that. And I would make that. I would go. And I would go. I'd get up when they went to bed and I'd go stuff their stockings.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And then one time my mom came in there while I was stuffing her stocking to stuff my stocking, and she was like, God, I was trying to do it because I want to go to sleep.
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B
And some traditions are just fun.
- [13:15]
A
They are. And you and I do that.
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B
Yeah.
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A
We get up and we stuff each other's stockings before we start going.
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B
Well, each other's stockings before we stuff each other's stockings, if you know what I mean.
- [13:26]
A
Okay. Creepy John Laugh is back. That was mentioned in a review, by the way. Somebody said, watch out for John's creepy pervert. Yeah. Really made me laugh. Thanks for reviewing, by the way. If you can hit us with a nice Little five star review and drop a couple lines. We always appreciate it. Wherever you listen. Okay, so that was the one thing. There's another thing that comes up. Our hero. She runs a bookstore. Hero, character of the story. She runs a bookstore, A little independent bookstore. And it's been her dream this entire time to own, to run this bookstore. And a lot of people go into her store to get Christmas presents.
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B
Yep.
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A
And they buy them. And she likes to wrap the gifts. Okay, Right. So she takes a lot of pride in that. She talks about how she wraps it and she puts the bow on it. This is Madeline, Right. This is her, the bookstore, the name, main character. Oh my God, I can't talk today. I'm so sorry. Well, it's tough on a podcast when you're stumbling over your words. So. Point is, you know where I'm going with this. She takes a lot of pride in rapping and it means a lot to her. And she says these days, some people just throw, Throw it in a bag and put some tissue paper over it and call it a day. And I thought, boy, is she talking about me? She sure is talking about me. In fact, I am. Listen, I'm not a good rapper. Here's the thing.
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B
You really aren't.
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A
I really not.
- [15:05]
B
You don't pay attention to the edges. You gotta pay attention to the edges.
- [15:09]
A
Can you explain that to what?
- [15:10]
B
You want a crisp edge. So when you put the paper over, you kind of run your finger along. Along two fingers. You run it along to get a nice crisp edge.
- [15:18]
A
Where. Where am I rubbing my fingers?
- [15:21]
B
The. All, all the, all the, the whole surface of the box. All the corn. Not the corners, but you know, the edges. All around the edges. You want to run your finger across and then you want to fold the paper over and then flip it back up. Really? If you do it properly. You only need three pieces of tape to wrap a package.
- [15:36]
A
Oh, really?
- [15:38]
B
Yeah, if you, if you fold everything correctly. But it's literally all of our gifts under our tree, other than from your. Your mom sends us a lot of gifts every year. She's very nice. But all the other gifts are just to you or to me. And we, we really, both of us kind of go all out on Christmas. We usually have like 10 or 12 gifts each to each other. We don't even have to write to and from. We can just tell who they're, Who's. Who they're for by how they're wrapped.
- [16:04]
A
I rap like a five year old. It's funny, the other night I had to wrap his birthday gifts because John's birthday was the day before Thanksgiving. And so the night before, I, I said, I still have to wrap your gifts after. I need to wrap your gifts. And I always make it this big thing in my head. And then, and then I remember it only takes me like four seconds because I don't give a what it looks like. I don't care. I don't try. I don't know how I'm running my finger along anything. I just, if it's too big, then one side just has a bigger end than the other.
- [16:31]
B
There's certain things that you don't like to waste your time on. You don't like to make the bed properly. I have a real way that I like to make the bed very properly so it looks nice. And you can't, you don't do it. So I just like, baby, you just making the bed is on me because I just, I don't want you to ever try to make the bed. Even, Even when I come home from like a weekend away, a year home, I look at that bed. I was like, oh, she made it. Like she, she made it like she was freaking Helen Keller or something, just throwing stuff at the bed.
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A
Well, I, I don't have a system to make the bed now. I make the bed. I, I don't ever leave my bed unmade. Okay? I'm not a monster. My mom taught me well. But I, Yeah, I've always just. It's the bed spread. I just put it back up and put the pillows on. Nobody else is seeing my bedroom, my bed. And so don't.
- [17:16]
B
I. I just like walking by the bed and looking, making it look very put together all day.
- [17:21]
A
I agree. Now that I see that, I think it's great. Now I understand why you do it. I go, oh, look how nice the bed looks. But I, but now I don't even bother. I don't try to make it because if I start to make the bed, and like you said, when John comes home, if I go, oh, I made the bed because he's been out of town or something. So I make it every morning. I mean, he just goes. And he just remakes it. He's just like, you're, you're, you're. Your bed making skills are any. And he remakes it for me.
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B
There's, there's certain things that I am. Maybe I shouldn't use the term ocd, but you know what I mean? I have a little bit obsessive over certain things. Like I like my little blue fridge over Here, all the labels have to be pointing exactly to the front in all the drinks, the bed has to be made. When I do the Christmas wrapping has to be. I just have a few things that I have to have a certain way.
- [18:08]
A
And your closet is organized by color, right?
- [18:12]
B
All my shirts are organized by color, yes.
- [18:15]
A
Mine are most. Mine are. For the most part, actually. I do that, too. I have them in color categories, so I. Okay. Okay.
- [18:25]
B
Here's another thing I do when I wrap gifts for you. And this is. Some people are gonna say this is absolutely a psychopathic thing to do, but I label all them. So I label them in the order that I want you to unwrap them in.
- [18:38]
A
Oh, right.
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B
So I always. I always put a little number in the corner, 1 through 10 or 1 through 12, whatever. So then you unwrap them in a certain order. Cause I want you to, like, build up to the biggest gift at the end. The grand finale. You know, they don't. They don't. We have. We used to have fireworks show. They don't go, boom, boom, boom, boom.
- [18:51]
A
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
- [18:52]
B
And then boom, boom, boom. They start off with a boom, boom, boom, then boom, boom at the end. And that's what I want. I want the. I want Christmas morning to be a fireworks show.
- [19:03]
A
Well, I appreciate that. Yeah, I. I don't make a list or number them, but I can tell. I know which one is which by usually. Oh, that's. That's the night. That's my nice one. But not by the way it's wrapped or the number on it. They're all wrapped. Right.
- [19:16]
B
I think that's where you and I differ, where you're like a normal human being and I'm a psychopath that needs to label them.
- [19:23]
A
Well, listen, whatever. Whatever happens, whatever gets you through Christmas morning, it makes you happy and glad.
- [19:30]
B
But I don't make me happy.
- [19:32]
A
Yeah. I don't.
- [19:34]
B
I bought gifts for you this morning, too, and I've been doing some serious shopping in the last. Yesterday was Black Friday. Today's the day after this. A lot of good deals are still on. And I did some shopping the last 48 hours.
- [19:46]
A
Yeah.
- [19:47]
B
Online, obviously. I'm not going to leave the house.
- [19:49]
A
Yeah, we don't really leave the house. I know. I was sitting next to John yesterday on the couch, and he had his phone kind of facing him, and he goes. Just so you know, I'm. I'm buying you gifts. I'm not hiding my phone from you. It didn't even. It didn't even occur to Me to think, oh, no, what's he hiding from me? Because I know better that if you're.
- [20:04]
B
I just wanted to be clear that.
- [20:05]
A
I know, you know.
- [20:06]
B
Yeah. I. I see people. I see people do that all the time where they sit beside their wife. Something you can say like, why are you hiding your phone like that? What are you doing over there, dirt bag? Yeah, I played football, so a lot.
- [20:17]
A
Of my teammates, it just. It just means John's buying something. Yeah. You. You take a lot of care in rapping, I will say. So it takes you. Like, when I. Another thing that happens is. So we always. We do. My mom, like John said, he always sends us. She. She and my stepdad send us a bunch of gifts. So we send them gifts, and they like. And I like them to have something else other than just from each other because their kids are grown out of the house. So I think it's kind of fun for them to have more stuff to open still. So I send them gifts, too. And. And it's always, you know, there's. I don't know, 12, 14 gifts to wrap for that between the two of them. And so when I get everything out and I. And I go, oh, my God, I can take so long. It's just like. It feels like a chore to me. I don't get the. I don't have the joy in wrapping. It starts to feel like a choice. So the first one looks decent, and then the last one. Let me finish. And then the last one is just like, if one side, you know, if I cut it and. And mis. Misjudged. And one side's, like, got, like, seven inches, and another side has, I don't know, a foot. I just. I don't know. I just. I just wrap it that way.
- [21:27]
B
Well, for me, I think it's part of, like, the aesthetic of just, like, decorating like this. This gift is going to sit under that tree now for three weeks. So I want to look nice. That's why I hide yours at the back and mine at the front. But also. Also, babe, like, for Christmas, I really. Only. The only person I have to buy gifts for is you. So I'm only wrapping, like, 10 gifts a year. It's kind of like I have. I have 12 niece, nephews on my side. You have one on your side and your parents and I have my mother. And you kind of take care of your mom and your stepdad's gifts and the nephew on your. Our nephew on your side that I kind of take care of my 12 niece and nephews on our side, my side. And they all just get cash. And then usually my mom just wants like money for her charity or whatever.
- [22:09]
A
So it's.
- [22:10]
B
I don't really buy any other gifts except for. From. For you.
- [22:14]
A
Right.
- [22:15]
B
And all the other local bartenders get a cash bonus.
- [22:19]
A
We do do that. John gives a nice cash bonus to everyone at Tipsy Cow and. And Bouvette at the end of the year for. For. For putting up with our faces year round, I guess. And the kitchen, everybody. It's very nice of you. And now the thing is now you can't take that away when there's certain.
- [22:36]
B
No. Once you start.
- [22:38]
A
Yeah. I mean, not that you would want to. You would never want to.
- [22:41]
B
No, no. It was like. It was like in football used to be like one of the most stressful times of the year for. Not. Not so much for me, but for the Clint Gresham and Stephen Hauschka. Because there was so much pressure to give gifts to all the employees. There's so many help. Help staff. Is that the right word? Support staff. Support staff in a football building that you deal with every day, aside from coaches that you deal with cooks, like multiple. You deal with like five or six cooks a day. You deal with 10 different equipment guys. You get medical staff. So you kind of have to take care of these people at Christmas every year.
- [23:13]
A
Right.
- [23:14]
B
In the world of baseball, they do it after every single series. Do you know that at home and on the. Especially on the road, after every single three game series, they go around and give cash to every person on the support staff. Football, you kind of do it. Yeah. And it's kind of like built in. It's like kind of like pretty much mandatory in football. You just do it at Christmas time and there's always like so much pressure, like, how much are you giving? What are you giving? And then once you start, you have to keep on like one year about everyone in the equipment room, a kegerator. And then I was like you. I was like, now what do I do? Like I have to keep on going. Like, what do I gonna buy them freaking cars next year? But anyways, that was. It was. It always like makes my whole butthole sweat when I think back on those times.
- [23:53]
A
I bet. Yeah. I mean, it is like once you start a tradition, you sound like you could not even. That you would want to undo it. But it's like, oh my God, how do I top. Yeah, that. Or how much should I give them Last year, I don't want to give them less than I did last year.
- [24:05]
B
Because also in the football world that you're dealing with a whole year with 53 guys making a combined $250 million. Every guy that locker room is making is in the 1%. And you're taking care of people that you know. A cook or an equipment guy there. Some of them are making minimum wage.
- [24:23]
A
Right.
- [24:23]
B
You know, so it's like, so you have to, like, so. And if you don't, you know, And I was such good friends. All the guys, I. They knew exactly the guys who did and didn't take care of them at Christmas.
- [24:33]
A
Oh, really?
- [24:34]
B
Like, I've been in the office before and someone came in and asked for something like, hey, can I get a helmet for a charity or for a gift or whatever. And he literally looked at the other guy, he goes, did he take care of you at Christmas? Like, they, they. They kept track. They kept track.
- [24:48]
A
Oh, that's. That.
- [24:49]
B
That's what added to the pressure, though. You're like, oh, God, I can't be the guy they're talking about not giving the proper amount.
- [24:55]
A
Yeah, well, remember there was one year when Russell gave. You gave everyone on the team two first class tickets, right? On Alaska.
- [25:04]
B
Two. Two first class tickets on Alaska. He did it. I think he did it three years in a row.
- [25:09]
A
Oh, okay.
- [25:09]
B
That's also why a lot of people nowadays, they seem to be shitting on Russ. I don't know why he gets shit on. That guy used to go into the locker room every Christmas and give every single. This is like a hun. This is what. By Christmas time, there's probably 75 guys on the team with. And he got. Every single guy got two all paid air. Air. Air tickets. Airplane tickets to anywhere in North America.
- [25:32]
A
That's pretty nice.
- [25:33]
B
First class.
- [25:34]
A
I remember we. We used him the. The one year. I remember. Maybe it was because maybe the year before was when. Before we knew each other. But. Or I think. Or maybe we always did. I forget. But we. We used him to go to Cabo, I think. Yeah, we were all excited because we were like, first class to Cabo and. Come on.
- [25:52]
B
Yeah. I think he did build it into his, like, endorsement deal with Alaska, but it's still like his. His money. And then I think one time he charted a. Charted a whole plane for all the wives to go to a game.
- [26:02]
A
He did. He did. Yeah. When we were going to. And that was Minneapolis, right? Wait, Minnesota? Yeah, Minnesota.
- [26:10]
B
Minnesota.
- [26:11]
A
Where Minneapolis is. We. It was a playoff game and John said, they're. They're flying you guys there. Everyone and all. And I would. And I thought, oh, we're just getting tickets or whatever. No, the whole plane was just all wives and family lot and whoever was coming to the game.
- [26:30]
B
I think every guy got like two seats on the plane. Yeah, like that.
- [26:34]
A
Yeah. And I only took one. So I. Yeah, I don't think.
- [26:37]
B
Yeah, you should have got at least got the drink tickets for the empty seat beside you then. Well, now.
- [26:42]
A
Well, I got. You know who I got? They. So they did. They had a couple of. They had a couple. I think it was like they basically said everyone is going to get two drinks on this flight or something. So they probably.
- [26:51]
B
It's not a four hour flight.
- [26:52]
A
It's a four hour flight. Yeah.
- [26:54]
B
No.
- [26:55]
A
So I guess they were worried about people just tossing them all back. I don't know. I don't really know. There was like a rule though, it said, oh, everyone's gonna get two drinks or something like that. And that I. There are a few wives that were pregnant on the plane. So I was like, order I vodka ginger ale and give it to me. So a couple of the guys gave me, gave me their drink tickets, which.
- [27:17]
B
Was a few bonus drinks. You know, those are the kind of perks that I miss about the NFL. There was a lot of good perks when you play in the NFL. A lot. A lot of free stuff. A lot of nice stuff. I got a pair of headphones. This is when headphones became like a big thing. Yeah, I mean like when the beat the Beats headphones are a really big thing. Before that, people just wore whatever. And then it became like you had to wear Beats or whatever. And they got into like a pissing contest with all the other head. So one day we get to our locker room and we just. Everyone have a free pair of Beats on their locker. Like 300 at the time. They're $300. Two days later we get another brand, another company, Bose. We get everyone get a free pair of bows. And then we got another company. It was one year. We got like five pairs of headphones. And especially when you go into the super bowl, they gave us these headphones that were supposed to be worth like $50,000 or something.
- [28:06]
A
Oh my God.
- [28:07]
B
They were like diamond encrusted, the diamonds on them. They only made 106 pair for, for both teams. And I was like talking, I'm like, why are they giving us all this free shit? And then I was like, oh yeah. One commercial, one commercial in the, in the super bowl is four and a half million dollars.
- [28:23]
A
Right?
- [28:23]
B
So if One guy. One guy is wearing Beats headphones in warmups and they put them on camera for 10 seconds.
- [28:29]
A
They.
- [28:29]
B
That's like a million and a half dollars that paid for every headphone they've ever given anyone in the history of the world. I mean, it's like that's what all these companies were trying to do is just be seen on camera sometime during the Super Bowl. So we just got like boxes in like bags of free shit. And I missed that.
- [28:46]
A
I know. I miss that a lot. I miss it too. I remember. Well, I was going to say that. And you think also now, especially on Instagram, whenever it is you see guys, because you guys dress up for game day, right? So, yeah, yeah.
- [29:03]
B
It's become even a more thing now. You know, there's OOTB or whatever they call it. Outfit of the Day D. Yeah, it's become like a bigger thing. It started kind of like in my last year where they'd actually have a camera on you walking into the locker room. You know, it was like the Seahawks might be one of the first teams to kind of do it and put it on the Jumbotron during the game. Before that, it was only like, you know, one or two of the stars walking up. They'd have them. But now it's kind of a very regular thing. So everyone has this pressure to have a brand new outfit for every single game. Kind of outdo the last one they did. And I'll do their teammates.
- [29:32]
A
I know we have a really good. I'll post it on book list. That's our Instagram. And we have a really good photo of John. Remember, you're carrying your Louis Vuitton bag and you have a suit on. It's a game day right off the.
- [29:45]
B
Right off the plane of the Super Bowl.
- [29:46]
A
It's a hot photo. So it is. So, yeah, I think that that became a thing. So it's not only like you said, if they put. They put the camera on you on the field and you're wearing the headphones that everyone's into, but if you also or just are on the plane or that or you happen to be wearing them on one of your photos on Instagram that you post, everyone goes and buys them. It's crazy. You also used to have. Remember that was Nike. You could.
- [30:12]
B
Yeah, that was a. It was. I. I've not bought a pair of like running shoes or gym shoes in my first year of pro football. 21 years, almost 22 years. So even when I retired, I was like, I'm going to wear every Pair of shoes that I've saved. And I think I'm down to like the last pair. And then I'm going to have to actually go and buy a pair of running shoes like a normal human being. But I had an endorsement deal with Nike back then. Back. Back then, like when all the jerseys were made by Reebok or they were sponsored by Reebok. Nike wanted everyone wearing Nike shoes, everybody. So they had like big endorsement deals for everyone. And when I say big endorsement deals, I know, like, you know, Brett Favre made a million or those guys, guys like me, the lesser known guys, we'd get, we wouldn't get paid money, but we get five to ten thousand dollars worth of product. So every year Sarah and I could just go onto this website, I feel it's called. We just got to pick out over the course of the year as many times you want until you're 5,000, $10,000 gone. And as well, they'd give you shoes to, you know, to work out in, to be on the field. Like unlimited, basically unlimited amount of shoes. One time, one time I called them. I like, I need a new pair of kicking shoes. They sent me 14 pairs. They're $300 each. That's how like while you're taken care of. But I do miss just being able to go on that website, be like, oh, I need new Jordans. Oh, Sarah needs new workout outfit. It was just always there.
- [31:28]
A
Yeah. And five, $10,000 in a year. I don't know if that sounds like a lot or a little to you guys, but it's a lot when you think. Because it's not. I just get workout outfits over, you know.
- [31:38]
B
Yeah, we think a full workout for you back then was probably 80 bucks, 70 bucks a pair. A pair. And everything's kind of marked down a little bit too. It was a little bit cheaper.
- [31:46]
A
Sometimes we get gifts too. I get gifts for my nephew and then send them to him. That would be his Christmas presents. I didn't have to spend.
- [31:51]
B
They'd always give you a big gift. I remember when we went to the super bowl, they had a, like, like a hockey bag, like a big hockey bag full of clothes for each guy endorsed by Nike. I remember going to my room and laying out. It was. It had to have been 50, 60 different things in this, in this box.
- [32:06]
A
When you think about when they zoom in, when you're punting, right. These kicking, I. I would say your shoes are even more important than some of the other guys because they zoom in a lot on. Right. How the Ball went off the foot or for both you and kickers. So a lot of showing of the exact brand of shoe you're wearing.
- [32:23]
B
When I got. When I got released from Seattle, I got released at night, basically. We kind of set it up so we get cut. I got home, I went on my account. They had already turned it off. I'm like, I didn't know how. I'm like, what? My mother doesn't even know I got released yet. Nike knew. They're like, no more. No more. It was like. I couldn't believe how quick it was. Oh, my God, talk about the wire. They were just like, done. Yeah. Squeeze out this last couple grand. Nope.
- [32:54]
A
Yeah, I remember that. You were like, I was gonna. He's like, I was gonna go on there and get the rest of my stuff, but gone cut off. That was a random sidetrack that we got on. But, yeah, I enjoyed it. So there's another thing that I wanted to bring up in this book. So they. At the beginning, kind of early on, but it's not. It's no spoiler, but into the bookstore walks Harley, who is the true crime podcaster, slash true crime author and whatnot and very famous for it. And so he goes into her bookstore and he buys some books. She doesn't really think anything of it. And then when he pays with his credit card, she sees his name and realizes that it's him. And she's nervous and she can't believe he's in her store. And then she starts panicking and thinking, do we have all his books or. They displayed nicely. She does. She does. She knows she does. And then eventually she says, sorry, I didn't realize who. Who you were. Right. So there's not always. I. I think for the most part, we know what most of our podcasters look like because there's clips, there's social media clips, there's. Right. But authors, so. Because he's both. Right, so.
- [34:12]
B
Oh, that's a good point. Yeah.
- [34:13]
A
Yeah. But authors, you don't necessarily know. I don't. I often don't look them up, I don't think. I think I was surprised to find out what Ellen Hildebrand looked like. Not surprised. But I just. I ran across her social media. She's more active sort of on that. And she does a lot of photos when she goes to Nantucket and does these events and all this stuff. So some people are at all these big events. I think I've now seen Frida McFadden a few times from the same thing.
- [34:42]
B
Just Colleen Hoover's kind of been out there now too, because of all the stuff with Jennifer Lawrence and Justin, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- [34:48]
A
Right, right.
- [34:49]
B
Baldoni.
- [34:50]
A
Right. So you don't necessarily though. Because I remember looking up Tess Garretson once and then going, oh, I just, I just never even. I didn't have an image in my head, so it didn't throw me. But I just thought, oh, I, I never thought about what this person looked like. And I've read 30 books by this person, so. And I think even more so now because we used, I used to always buy books and usually they'll have a little photo of the author somewhere right on the back.
- [35:12]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [35:14]
A
Or if you buy my book on the COVID because it's about me, it's about my stories. If you guys haven't read has anyone Seen My Pants, Go buy it for someone for Christmas. I appreciate it and. But you know, I, I just thought that was kind of a funny thing. You don't really think about what the, what the author looks like as much anymore. Or you, you're, you're not, they're not in your face as much anymore because of the lack of buying. You know, they don't put that on the Kindle. So I do think that's interesting. Has there ever, ever been an author that you, when you saw them, you thought, oh, I did not expect that person to look like this.
- [35:51]
B
I mean, just. I think we talked about once before with a self help book that I was reading and then, oh, right. Like this little like, little like European dude that I was like, what? The whole entire. For some reason when you read a book, you almost picture in your head what the author is like their age, their gender. You just, you just naturally do.
- [36:09]
A
Yeah.
- [36:09]
B
And the more you read, the more you kind of can kind of zone in. Basically hit it a little bit. It's kind of, it's kind of like what the show the Voice was based on. This thing right here.
- [36:17]
A
Yeah.
- [36:19]
B
When you watch the Voice, you're like, okay, that's probably the Voice comes out of that person, but every once in a while it's off. And I think that's kind of the same with authors. You're like, okay, I can imagine this, what this person looks like. And then you, every once in a while you'll see it. You're like, well, that's not at all what I thought. But usually you can kind of peg them just based on the writing style, which is kind of weird now that I think about it.
- [36:36]
A
Yeah, I mean, it's funny because all the Voice, too, that you always know. I don't know if you guys watch that, but you always know when they're about to show you, they're going to reveal a person that they don't think. They think you'll be blown away by their face and not matching.
- [36:48]
B
A little surprise for the. For the home audience.
- [36:50]
A
Yeah. So they. Normally, what they'll do is, like, they won't show them and. Or show like an intro package and all that stuff. And then the stage will be dark and we're like, oh, this one's going to be. This one's going to blow our mind anyway. So fun. We love the Voice.
- [37:03]
B
Yeah. It's like I knew that it was going to be a. A guy in his mid-30s, the beard, seeing country music with his guitar. Like, I knew exactly what he's gonna look like. What do you. What's the surprise?
- [37:13]
A
Yeah, but. But with. With that being said, to your point, when she. She doesn't recognize him at first, like I said, maybe. I think we would know. I thought that part was a little funny. Just because I would think, oh, you probably would know what he looks like if he's got a true crime podcast and he's had a story about him and the New York magazine did like a hit. Hit piece on him or something.
- [37:36]
B
Especially if you're a big enough fan to be like, fangirl over them. You probably.
- [37:42]
A
Yeah, but she's not. So she. So she gets all excited, she gets all nervous, and then she says, sorry, I didn't realize that was you. And then takes a photo and she does say one thing that you mentioned. She talks. Or either he or she talks about in some. Some point in the book, I forget. But it's about how you think you know the author, what their personality is going to be like. But really they're very different than what's on the page. Right. So you might meet someone who writes these true crime novels and they're really just not what you would picture. Or. I don't know. Frida McFadden, I think, was kind of. What? Yeah, I just was like, oh, yeah, that's what she looks like. I could see that there wasn't any real thought to it, but I think in this case when she. So she goes and she posts it on social media.
- [38:33]
B
Yeah.
- [38:34]
A
And then. And. And says, oh, surprise night. And then all these people recognize who it is right away and they start commenting and. And whatnot. And she says, that's the nice thing about social media. You're never alone. Even when you are. And so it's the end of the night, she's closing up her shop, and all of a sudden, because all these people are talking on her social media, she feels that she's got kind of company around her. And I think that was an interesting thing to say because social media is, you know, I have to spend a lot of time on it. I do this, the book list podcast. I do my. Are you my podcast. Instagram and Facebook. I do the Book list Facebook. I do my Clutch Women stadium compliant handbags. Clutch women.com. i do my. The social media for that. I do it for Sarah Colonna, my comedian and regular actress page, blah, blah, blah. And then I made one for our cats. Because I didn't have enough to do, I decided to make an Instagram for our cats. And I don't even really know why. Why do I do that? Why do I. Why do I do that?
- [39:44]
B
People like it. People are having fun with it. But I think for people like you in your job, especially the comedian podcasting, you, you really have to be active on social media. Yes, you really do. And it's. Sometimes I feel bad for you because you have like 10 different accounts you're trying to keep up with, and I just don't have any now.
- [40:04]
A
Sometimes I. Sometimes I go to post and then I get it all done and all written out, and then I put it on the wrong account.
- [40:10]
B
Oh.
- [40:11]
A
And I'm like, oh, I have to. I've learned to. To copy and paste everything I wrote before I delete it, put it on the right account so I don't have to rewrite it again. But John does. No social media, as most of you know, every once in a while, I.
- [40:23]
B
Have Instagram every once in a while. This is what I do. I don't have the app on my phone. Every once in a while, download the app to put something up there. And then if I ever catch myself just scrolling for no reason, I immediately erase the app again. I think it's. Sometimes I used to do it on the plane where I'm like, it just kills two hours just scrolling on the plane. And even that, like, it was like, something about it makes me feel I just wasted my time on the plane. When I'm just trying to waste time. It just makes you feel, like, gross after. To be honest, I just don't like it. So I just, like, I avoid as much as I can avoid doing that.
- [40:56]
A
I know, and I wish I could avoid it. I think what happens for me being on it more, and I mean, I'M not saying I sit on it all day. I'm just saying I have to post, like, the minute the podcast comes out in the morning, I go and I do the post for that. And then when Alex or Olivia send me a clip for that, then I send it and I have to post that. And usually that's the next day or something. So. But what happens is, because I'm doing that, then I don't ever see stuff my friends post and whatnot. I don't. Because I don't ever. I don't really scroll because I'm more posting my own stuff. And then I answer a lot of dms, usually if it's after I post about a show or something and people ask me questions, do you do a meet and greet? Do you that. Whatever. So I. But when she says she. When she talks about how it's nice, you're. Sometimes you're not alone, even when you are. I could see that in some ways, to me, right now, social media gets a little fun because we start doing our advent calendar and we. Our liquor advent calendar, which, if you're listening to this on Monday, it starts today, December 1st. Correct?
- [41:59]
B
Yep. Sure does. Buckle up, buttercup.
- [42:02]
A
It's a big chance.
- [42:03]
B
Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Here we go.
- [42:06]
A
So that is fun. And you decorating is fun. I have fun with that kind of stuff because people, I love people's responses to it. So it could be used in a really. It can be used in a good way, clearly. And for someone who is feeling kind of alone one day, if you go on. I'm not saying it's completely healthy to feel like social media is all you have by any means, but I'm saying, hey, it could also, it could pick up your day here and there if it, if someone gives you an atta girl or an Atta boy, if you're feeling like you need it, even if you don't.
- [42:33]
B
Media. Social media is how I met my wife, basically.
- [42:37]
A
Right? That's.
- [42:37]
B
Without Twitter, I don't think I would have met you. Maybe I would have tried. I would find you. I got. I got to be on the Jim Gaffigan show because of Twitter. I got to be on American Ninja Warrior because of Twitter. I think I kind of. We kind of got to be on Bar rescue because of Twitter.
- [42:52]
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was.
- [42:54]
B
I never go on Twitter anymore because it's just. It's just way too gross now, or X, whatever that guy calls it now. And I just, I. I can't do it.
- [43:02]
A
But it's kind of Cool over there. I want to go back to the original question.
- [43:06]
B
Yes, I want to go back to the original question about misidentifying an author. Has that ever happened to you? Because it's happened to me quite a few times.
- [43:16]
A
Oh, like that people didn't expect you to look the way you look.
- [43:19]
B
Yes.
- [43:22]
A
I've. I get a lot of people that say after I do a show, I mostly it's not, it's not a huge difference. Probably because I spent enough time on either social or they've seen, or they've like seen me in a show or something. But I, I get a lot of that. People didn't think I was, I was as small as I am, like height wise.
- [43:44]
B
I've heard people say that before.
- [43:45]
A
Yeah, I get a lot of like, oh, you're just a little like a petite thing. And I, and I'm just, I mean, I'm five. Five. I'm pretty. I. Right, maybe a little bit.
- [43:54]
B
It's almost. You always expect actors for some reason in our head because I think we kind of put like actors, athletes on a bit of a pedestal in our head, even if we don't realize it. And when they, we always expect them to be larger when we meet them.
- [44:07]
A
Right.
- [44:08]
B
Here's the funny. I've been. The first time I got, I was, I went into a bar one time my first year of pro football. I was just like, just started getting like a little tiny bit of attention, notoriety, like a little bit. I didn't get any in college and I met the bartender as looking at my ID and she goes, I thought John Ryan was black. What's really funny is when you were shopping for your dress for our wedding, the woman said, well, what does your husband do, right? Oh, he plays in the NFL. He goes, oh, well, this will go really good with his, you know, his complexion.
- [44:40]
A
Yeah. It was a very weird thing because.
- [44:42]
B
She, she assumed that because your husband's in NFL that he was black. She goes, oh, this will go really good with his, his complexion.
- [44:48]
A
Yeah. And I was like, you don't. What's his complexion? You've not seen him. And then I realized exactly what was going on.
- [44:53]
B
Lady, have you ever seen snow? That's the color of my husband's skin. But nowadays, nowadays what I'll get a lot from people is even though they've seen me and know me from being football, they're like, I didn't, I didn't. They see, I didn't realize you're this big.
- [45:07]
A
Right?
- [45:07]
B
I'm 6 foot tall, 240 pounds, 8% body fat. I'm pretty. I'm like, I'm pretty. I'm pretty. I'm a pretty. I'm a larger guy, but I've been standing on a sideline next to 350 pound men my for 19 years and that's where they see me. So in their head, I'm small because I'm 120 pounds lighter than the guy beside me. So they're, when they see me they're like, oh, I thought you were, you were smaller.
- [45:29]
A
Right? That makes sense. And I think also because of football, there's is a lot of times we'll be, we'll be somewhere and people are talking about how they're the biggest Seahawk fans in the world. I'm like, well, how, how do you not know who's sitting right next to you then? And John's like, because we have helmets on when we play. So unless they live in Seattle where I'm more of a prominent, you know, like when you were more prominent figure there's. And people would either see you out and about or you did commercials. And everyone knew, I think all the, everyone in big Seahawks fans that live there kind of know what every player looks like. But if you're just watching on TV and you're a huge fan, you may not register the, the face under the helmet. So I could see people having the same sort of reaction that Madeline had to Hardy Harley.
- [46:11]
B
That's t. That's T l I n e.com and Trust Techline. That was my commercial in Seattle. Techline Commercial. Our roofing commercial. So I did a roofing commercial for. I think I did two different ads for them and I think it ran for two or three years and they played it locally. When we were in the super bowl days, almost every guy on the team had his own commercial for some local thing. And so I talked to the guy that owns. We actually ran into the guy that owns the company a couple weeks ago in Seattle. But he told me, he goes, people will call the office and say, can I talk to John Ryan, please? People think you own the company. Like, no, they just gave me ten grand to do this commercial. I don't own the. I don't even have a tech line roof, I don't think. But it was so funny that people just like, oh, like, like I didn't used to call Michael Jackson when I or call Pepsi when I saw Michael Jackson on a freaking commercial. These people just get paid to do it, okay? They don't, they don't own it.
- [47:05]
A
Oh, that's really funny. Well, that's a fun way to end this first week. This first Monday. Of your book list. Of your December book list. Christmas presents by Lisa Unger. Stay tuned to our social media on on the on the day this comes out on the first the book list Spinners Facebook group and the book list Instagram. John will announce his January 2026 crazy book. And yeah, don't forget, we'll start doing our advent calendars on Instagram, too. That's on mine. And then I. And John's on it, too.
- [47:38]
B
Yep, can't wait.
- [47:41]
A
All right, talk to you guys soon.
- [47:44]
B
Bye.
- [47:44]
A
Bye. The book list.
- [47:46]
B
The book lisp.
- [47:48]
A
The book list.
- [47:49]
B
The book lisp.
- [47:51]
A
The book lisp.