Locked In

Summary

The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna

Episode: Locked In
Release Date: September 8, 2025

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Overview

In this lively, unscripted episode of The Book Lisp, married hosts Jon Ryan (NFL Super Bowl Champion) and Sarah Colonna (comedian and actress) deliver their blend of book talk and everyday banter. Midway through their month of reading The Wedding People by Alison S. Pack, Jon and Sarah focus on the perils and hilarity of homeownership, wedding customs, and vacation philosophy, all while teasing out relatable themes found in the book—no spoilers included. Fans are treated to stories from their personal lives, sharp observations on traditions, and nostalgic dives into pop culture, with frequent digressions and playful rants.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Homeowner Headaches & Reality Rants

00:54 - 10:46

• Jon’s Annoying Day: Jon vents about his "very annoying day," launching into a detailed recounting of flawed home features—from an illogical shower door ("They put it on backwards!") to problematic sliding doors and blind installations.
• Humor & Relatability: The couple jokes about responsibilities in their recently built dream home and the poor workmanship they've encountered. Sarah supports Jon’s rant while peppering in her own humorous observations.
• Quote (Sarah, 05:44): "And then to start with. And then he also was like, also I'm going to put the door in backwards, which makes no sense because even when you're like getting out, you have to pull it like towards you and then you have to get out of the way of it."
• Quote (Jon, 08:52): "You just have like two nails on a wall. Like that's not how you hang up a 50-pound mirror. Like I am like I. Everyone's mom's like I've freaking had it. Like we buy our dream house and we have all this little crap that you guys just like just kind of like hid."
• Catharsis: The segment ends with Sarah noting Jon’s improved mood post-rant and jokingly soliciting discount offers from any shower door installers among their listeners.

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2. Wedding Gift Bags: Tradition, Meaning, and Merch

12:31 - 19:24

• Book Tie-In: Sarah uses a plot point in The Wedding People to jump into a discussion about their own wedding gift bags.
• Jon’s Gift Bag Mastery: Jon was in charge of assembling their wedding bags, which included custom keychains, labeled jars of candy (signifying each other's favorite candies), vodka minis, and Seahawks-themed beer koozies—a personal touch with lasting supply issues.
• Modern Trends & Social Media: The couple discusses how wedding and bachelorette merch culture has escalated, especially with requests for free products via social media, and laments the pressure on small businesses.
• Quote (Jon, 18:02): "If you want to support local, if you want to support women owned businesses, if you want to support small businesses, you don't do it by asking for free shit from that business. That's not how these businesses succeed, okay?"
• Interactive Prompt: Sarah invites listeners to share stories of the best and worst gift bags they’ve encountered, highlighting how traditions morph and budgets balloon.

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3. Vacation Philosophies: Ocean Views vs. Hiking Boots

20:05 - 31:44

• Oceanside Science & Self-Care: Referencing the character 'Neck Pillow' from the book, Sarah and Jon express their love for beach vacations, describing how being near the ocean is their ultimate form of relaxation.
• Personal Anecdotes: Jon shares the story of his accidental severe sunburn on their first vacation together and jokes about the challenges of being a ginger in the sun.
• Contrast with Book Characters: They reflect on The Wedding People’s Phoebe, whose idea of vacation involved effort, hiking, and “earning” rest—very different from Sarah and Jon’s philosophy.
• Quote (Jon, 27:17): "The more mar—Marry someone that vacations like you. It's a big thing. Because if Sarah liked to go, like, backpacking and camping… you just would have to find another husband to do it with."
• Relationship Insight: The two underscore the importance of being compatible about travel styles in relationships, joking about their early discovery of shared vacation habits.

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4. Nostalgia Corner: Sweet Valley High, Nancy Drew & Friday Night Lights

31:46 - 44:30

• Bookish Reminiscing: Sarah fondly remembers Sweet Valley High and discusses its impact, including a formative anti-cocaine lesson. They banter about the logistics of teen fiction production and Jon’s favorite childhood sports books.
• Quote (Sarah, 35:54): "I'm not doing cocaine. It killed Regina."
• Pop Culture Weaves: The name "Lila" from The Wedding People sparks discussion of pop culture Lila’s—both from Sweet Valley High and Friday Night Lights.
• Friday Night Lights Deep Dive: Jon and Sarah praise the under-watched TV series and discuss the original book’s investigative journalism roots. Sarah delivers her comedic Tim McGraw impression.
• Quote (Sarah, 43:01): "Why can't you hold on to the ball? And then—and then he tapes his hands around the ball…"

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5. Book-Related Musings and Community Call-Outs

45:08 - 46:41

• Book Themes—No Spoilers: The hosts note The Wedding People’s playful defense of reading romance novels—mirroring the podcast’s mission to support reading tastes without shame.
• Quote (Jon, 45:23): "That's right, buddy. Whatever you want to read, you read. Whatever tells you to read, you read."
• Looking Ahead: Hints at future books (including a serial killer thriller for October), and invites listeners to join Patreon for extra content and support their podcast.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Home Ownership:
  Jon (08:52): "Like that's not how you hang up a 50-pound mirror… we have all this little crap that you guys just like… just kind of like hid."
• On Vacation Preferences:
  Jon (27:17): "Marry someone that vacations like you… it's a big thing."
• On Nostalgic Book Lessons:
  Sarah (35:54): "'I'm not doing cocaine. It killed Regina.'"
• On Supporting Small Businesses:
  Jon (18:02): "If you want to support local… you don't do it by asking for free shit…"
• On Romance Novels:
  Jon (45:23): "Whatever you want to read, you read…"

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:54 – 10:46: Jon’s epic rant about new home issues
• 12:31 – 19:24: Wedding gift bags—customs, stories, and small business woes
• 20:05 – 31:44: Vacation philosophies and relationship compatibility
• 31:46 – 44:30: Sweet Valley High, Nancy Drew, and Friday Night Lights nostalgia
• 45:08 – 46:41: Book reflections, the value of shameless reading, show wrap-up

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Final Thoughts

This episode of The Book Lisp offers a blend of book talk and personal stories, with plenty of laughs, sharp commentary, and nostalgia. Jon and Sarah’s chemistry and humor make even their tangents feel like part of a lively book club among friends. Fans of homeownership horror stories, wedding traditions, and pop culture will find much to enjoy, all with the hosts’ signature comedic twist.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.

[B]

And I'm John Ryan and you're listening.

[A]

To the Book List. The Book List.

[B]

The Book Lisp.

[A]

Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna Ryan. Sometimes I forget to say Sarah Colonna Ryan because I'm not officially Sarah Colonna Ryan. I mean, I am, but just not legally.

[B]

Right. You are officially married to me and.

[A]

I'm officially married to you. Yes, I'm officially legally married to you, but I've never changed my name, which we've talked about before, just because I don't want to go to the Social Security office. I wonder, do you think Lila in the Wedding People was going to change her name?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, she seems like.

[B]

I think she would.

[A]

She would. She's a. She's. But her dad, I mean, I don't know, thought she has like a lot of money. Yeah, but. And then her dad's gone. Maybe she wants to carry on his last name. I mean, she never. I mean, no. Spoiler alert. That. That didn't come up in the book. The Wedding People by Ellis Allison S. By the way.

[B]

Oh, you got the pronunciation right.

[A]

Looked it up how to pronounce it. Wanted to make sure I gave the the due respect watch. I probably still got it wrong. No, it didn't. S. Pack. And so that's what we're reading this month. We're in week two, which means we have two more weeks before we do the full review. So if you're not finished with the book, don't worry, there's no spoilers coming your way right now. Our weeks up until week four, no spoilers, just fun stuff we pull. We. I pulled some fun ideas. John's been doing the heavy lifting lately on pulling ideas, so I decided to pull some ideas this week. Mostly because you're having an annoying day, aren't you? Aren't you?

[B]

I'm having a very annoying day. Everything that I do is annoying. Except for working out. That was fine. It was even. It was even annoying waking up this wise. Didn't feel like waking up. I was having a good sleep and then I had to wake up, did the radio, you know, then I worked out, then all the annoying stuff started happening to me.

[A]

Yeah, you've. You. He's had one of those days, guys, where just things. Listen, let's just tell the listeners before we get into the book, I mean, get into the podcast about the book, but it's not about it. You Know what I'm talking about? We have. We moved into this house last August. It's our dream home. It's beautiful.

[B]

Brand new build. No one's ever lived in it but us.

[A]

No. So there's a couple thing. And the builder even said, he goes, look, a couple things are going to come up that either we missed or an outlet doesn't work, or this and that. Contact me. He's always been. Sometimes it takes a few texts, but we've been here a year now, so we're probably pat. Oh, he has one more thing he has to do, which is that sanding and painting. Right. Like, because he sent people for that. But for the most part, if anything came up, like there was a crack in the stairs that obviously shouldn't be there and things like that, he's been great. But there's one thing that I missed when we moved in and it's going to sound silly, but I'm going to explain it to you. One of the guest rooms has one of those showers where they just put one. One door, like a half door, and then leave it open in the back. A lot of hotels seem to do this, but when hotels do it, it's not also a bathtub. And I think maybe that's part of the problem.

[B]

Yeah, part of the problem.

[A]

But the most water goes right down.

[B]

And even a third grader could figure out is what Sarah.

[A]

But the most obvious problem, because my mom came here and she said, water goes everywhere when I shower. And I was like. And I told John and he's like, maybe your mom just, you know, it's like a. It's a new design. Maybe your mom just doesn't know how to use it. But then we just had a friend here and I was like, can you just tell me if you had a problem? And she's like, yeah, water goes everywhere. And then also, somehow I didn't catch this and my mom didn't say anything about it. The. The sha. The door that is. That is there. The half door pushes in. And so it's. And it's obviously on the side of where the knobs and the shower head is. So. And then the back is open, so it pushes in. So it pushes in towards the knobs. So your only choice is to get in the shower and then close it and then turn on the shower. And. And so you get wet immediately. What if you didn't want to. What if you just want. Do you know what I mean? Like, sometimes you want the water to be a certain temperature. It doesn't make any sense. They made it push in. So they obviously turned it. They. They put it on the wrong. They. They put the hinges on the wrong side. Okay.

[B]

They put it on backwards. But I'm just saying my job, My job is to install shower doors. That's probably what someone's entire job is. They might do some bathroom work, but they're probably not doing your electrical and then your plumbing and then your, your grout and then that they have a very. Jobs with these bigger jobs. So I come in, I put in a door completely backwards and I just go, yeah, they probably won't figure it out.

[A]

Yeah. You think that he would have noticed that in some. And I. And I noticed it too, the other day. I noticed it when I was cleaning up for our guests and that we have. We haven't had a lot of guests stay here.

[B]

That's a guest room that's been used like three times.

[A]

Three times. Yeah. And nobody else said anything to us about the door pushing in. And until I asked Christine for her full review of the shower. And I wanted to give it to me real because I'm like, I. I think we're going to get a full door. I think the whole half door thing, maybe it works in a hotel because it goes right. Maybe they have the drain. It goes right down the drain. But in our shower, it like it just splashes out of the bathtub all over the floor. It was.

[B]

It's a bad design.

[A]

It's a bad design. And then on top of the bad design. Yeah. And then to start with. And then he also was like, also I'm going to put the door in backwards, which makes no sense because even when you're like getting out, you have to pull it like towards you and then you have to get out of the way of it. Does it make any sense? Shower doors don't push in.

[B]

There was things that happen. No. They. What?

[A]

No.

[B]

Why? It pushes right against like the, the, the water spout or the water like hand.

[A]

I know, but even if it was. But no, but shower doors also just. They don't push in, period.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Because when you're go. Because when you're getting right, you push it out. I don't know. Maybe sometimes they do. It depends on the shower. So you got a lot of room.

[B]

In the last year, there's been a lot of things that have happened. There's been like some cracks in the walls, which I shifted a little bit. There's a crack in the wall. He came and fixed it in the Sheetrock. There was A crack in the stairs because the sun beams right down there and it kind of cracked some of the wooden stairs. They came out. They figured. I understand that stuff when you do stuff like, like they had a side. We have a sliding door, a huge sliding door that goes out to our atrium. Like 9ft tall door by like 5ft wide and it slides across. So they just, they put it in there.

[A]

Welcome to John's rant.

[B]

Does it doesn't lock. And then if you do like if it was like. So that guy. Your job is to install these doors. So you installed this door and you damn well knew that it was like, oh, it doesn't lock. He's like, nah, whatever.

[A]

I know. I think he was like, well whatever. I'm like, people could drop down.

[B]

He just like slams. He drills a fricking handle onto it. And then he's like, well. And Sarah's like, it still doesn't lock. You were just trying to run for the exits again. You.

[A]

I, I said to Christine when she gave her full review the shower. I said, listen, the door guy in this house. Yeah, I forgot about the atrium. But the, whoever was in charge of. I think he was in charge of all the doors. Atrium, pantry. Which locks from the inside into the pantry one time. And she didn't know it was, it.

[B]

Was like some like crazy shit where we like locked up a kid and like starved him to death or something. Like.

[A]

Yeah, why would you.

[B]

On the inside.

[A]

Yeah, the lock is on the inside. Luckily when I got trapped in there I and discovered that the lock was. John was home. And then we. And then so we put a permanent key in the door and then we also put another key on the inside of the pantry just in case that God forbid that one falls out. So anyway, there's some door issues. We're going to get the, we're going to get a new shower door. I don't know how much it costs. I think it's going to be fine. I don't think it's going to be crazy. I think someone's going to laugh at the job. No, really?

[B]

Yeah. Those glass doors are expensive. They're not like, I mean I feel like everything we purchased here is expensive.

[A]

Well, I'm gonna get an estimate. We're gonna get it figured out. Or we're just.

[B]

The mirror in the bathroom fell down big. Like 50 pound mirror. I will go look in. He just hammered a couple. Well, first of all, they put about five screws in and take them out because they didn't center it properly. So I'M like I can see all your fuck ups in this brand new wall.

[A]

And.

[B]

And then at the end you just have like two nails on a wall. Like that's not how you hang up a £50 mirror. Like I am like I. Everyone's mom's like I've freaking had it. Like we buy our dream house and we have all this little crap that you guys just like just kind of like hid. And they're like, oh, they'll never, they'll never realize that the door opens the wrong way or the door doesn't lock.

[A]

God had it today guys.

[B]

We won't even get what's next because the blind guy installed all the blinds wrong. So I'm not even getting into that.

[A]

We're not getting into it. We're going to let John already spent.

[B]

Almost 10 minutes, didn't level them properly. So now they're going to be wrecked on the side. You know how much it cost to have 50 electric electronic windows in a house? They're freaking nine feet tall. This is why I don't sleep at night.

[A]

This is why you don't sleep at night. And you really don't actually. So. Okay. So thank you Bliss Spinners for letting John. Letting John get that off his chest. I can already tell he's got a little more of a smile on his face than he did in the beginning. If any of you were shower door installers. Want to give us a deal? Yeah, we'll give you like you know.

[B]

What it is though In Seattle on the radio every week. Casey. Okay. I call in, they say John just call in a rant about something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And today was the first day of the year where I stopped doing it. Maybe that's the problem. I couldn't had to have an outlet today.

[A]

Because now you're talking about.

[B]

For six months we talk about football and then in the off season I call in once a week and just rant about something either good or bad. Usually bad. But that today was the first day I haven't been had the opportunity to do it.

[A]

So now you had to rant to the listeners instead. And I think, listen, they love you, they appreciate you and I think they're happy to. To let to be your sounding board. And if not, they've already turned this off anyway.

[B]

Yeah. 10 minute round bathroom.

[A]

Guys come see me in the Woodlands November 14th at Do Si Do. Please. Please get tickets now for that. Come see. John will be with me in Spokane for New Year's Eve. He'll be with me in Tacoma on the 2nd and 3rd of January, then I go to Chicago, then I go to St. Louis, then Arlington, which. Virginia. Which I haven't even put on the website yet. But that's not. So those are all come later because we're gone out of town a lot up until November. But I might add some more dates in November and also December and then. And possibly in October if I can squeeze one in before we go out of town. So get your tickets@Sarah Colonna.com and it's not too early to buy any of those tickets. Makes me look good when you get them right away. And also you get. You get better seats because it'll be very busy and for sure in Spokane and Tacoma. And join us on patreon. It's only $5 a month. Help us get a new shower door, please. No, it's only $5 a month that it just supports us for paying our editor and doing all the. And all the time we put into this fun podcast and which we love doing anyway. And then you get other exclusive content over there. So it's. You do. We do short stories every month. This month we're reading the Lottery by Shirley Jackson on Patreon. That's always on the 15th. On the 5th and the 25th, you just get fun podcasts that they could be anything. They could. Who knows? Maybe on the 25th, John's gonna just. It's gonna be the last day before he checks into a mental institution. Don't know.

[B]

Very well. Could be. We don't know yet. We'll see.

[A]

Join us there. And hey, if you're at the Seahawks game this Sunday. Oh, this is coming out the day after. Well, if you were at the Seahawks yesterday, it was good to see you guys yesterday because we went and we had fun and hopefully the Hawks won, but we are obviously recording this before we leave, so. Happy NFL football season to all of those who celebrate. Now, John, I was thinking this book starts out. This is no spoiler or anything that would ruin for you at the. Phoebe gets a gift bag. She gets handed a gift bag even though she's not a wedding member. Because every. Because lla made sure that everyone was to be a wedding member. And somehow Phoebe got her room. We know that it's in the beginning of the book. Doesn't matter. But she gets a gift bag. What was in our wedding gift bag?

[B]

Well, I was actually responsible for making the gift bags.

[A]

That's right. I was. That's kind of why I wanted to bring it up, because John decided to take over that. Because if you know Anything about me and John, you know, that he's better at stuff and I'm better at other things.

[B]

I don't remember. I remember that everyone got like a Seahawks keychain with a bottle opener on it to open your Coronas. I had specially made little bottles or little like jars. And one of them said her favorite. And one of them, her favorite was filled with Mike and Ikes. And the bottle of jars had his favorite and it's filled with gummy bears. And then there was a bottle of vodka and it said our favorite.

[A]

Yes, it was very cute. He had little labels put on them. And honestly, we had a lot of those jars left over because I think he had to order a certain amount. We only had 50 people or so at the wedding. And I don't think we actually got rid of them until we moved here. I think when we moved from Lamona, I finally was like, do we need.

[B]

To take all the jars?

[A]

A hundred empty jars that say his and her favorite.

[B]

And then also we had, we had. I had like a custom beer koozie made baby blue beard koozie that said like something about us and the date of the wedding.

[A]

Yes. And it had the day of the wedding and like a beach chair or something.

[B]

And it said, so you and I or you and me?

[A]

Yeah, so you and me. Because that's what John said to me when we got together. He said, so you and me. And I said, yeah, bitch, give me that ring.

[B]

And that was another thing that I think I like, we made up like 30 gift bags, whatever. Like one for a room. And then I think I had to order like 250 of those beer koozies. So I think we have those beer koozies until like marriage all the way through to divorce. They'll use those beer koozies, like at our funerals.

[A]

I know we still have a bunch of them. We should do some kind of giveaway or something. Be like, who wants a beer koozie from our wedding?

[B]

I know they're almost 10 years old now.

[A]

It's adventure.

[B]

I think I just put some snacks in there, like granola bars, stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah. Doesn't everyone do like aspirin or something?

[B]

Yeah, I put like aspirin, Advil. It's funny when you start doing those bags, you're like, oh, this would be cute. Because I mean, when you were a kid, you put like, like we just call them a goodie bag or a grab bag at like a birthday party. It's like a bunch of. When you start doing it for adults, you're like, oh. And all of a sudden it's like 50, 60, $70. Every gift bag, like it adds up real quick.

[A]

Yeah. And you don't want it to be a bunch of junk that they'll throw away. I think we put some sunscreen. We just put stuff that we hoped people would actually use.

[B]

I think. Is that like a relatively new thing or there's something people do for like destination weddings?

[A]

No, I think it's pretty common. It's just I, I know that I have, I won't go off on this because we've already had one rant, but I know I have discussed with you guys have heard me talk about how I now get for my business clutch women. Which by the way, it's 15 off right now. If you use code NFL is back clutchwomen.com for your stadium compliant handbag. It does not have to be clear if it's the right size. And I, I get requests for bachelorette parties. They want me to donate a bags. They ask for 10. Sometimes they, sometimes a hundred. Yeah, they asked and they say, do you want to donate to my bachelorette party? And I'm like, what? That I think is a new thing. Bachelorette merch and wedding. And, and people are like, I'm, I'm a 2026 bride. And I'm like, okay. A lot of people are. I mean, I'm happy for you, but I'm a small business and I, I've gone on this ramp before, so I'm not going to do it again. But I cannot possibly give out a bunch of free bags. I would be out of business. It's. It's not plausible for small businesses. And I just saw this woman make a post about people asking her for donations. She wasn't talking about the bachelorette party. But then I was like, oh, don't get me started on the bachelorette ones. And then a bunch of other small business owners chimed in and they're like, so I think gift bags in general are a new thing. But I think bachelorette and wedding PR I think has. I believe it's original. I could be wrong, but I think it's from TikTok. And what happens is some go. Some woman goes on, says that she got all this stuff from TikTok on TikTok and tax the companies and then everyone asked them for more free stuff. It doesn't actually make you any money.

[B]

If you want, if you want to support local, if you want to support women owned businesses, if you want to support small businesses, you don't do it by asking for free shit from that business. That's not how these businesses succeed, okay?

[A]

And none of them have ever been a customer before either.

[B]

Small female owned businesses, you buy their fucking shit. That's what you do. That's how you support them. So why don't you buy your friend that's getting married a bag? Then she can go to the next Rams game, the next Seahawk game in style. If I have one more rant on this frickin show. My God, we're have no listeners left.

[A]

But I think so. I know. Well, I kind of started that because I was. I do. I think that gift bags have been around for a long time, but I think mostly they probably are destination weddings. You guys have to chime in, you know, we're the book list spinners is a Facebook group. So is our Facebook group. And then we're the book lisp on Instagram and then on Patreon. You can always comment and stuff too. But I'm curious if anyone chimes in on that. Like the best and worst gift bag you've ever had. I'd love to know if you ever got like something real good in a gift bag or if you put. If yours were crazy expensive, more than you wanted to spend. Like John's talking about. That adds up when you want it.

[B]

I think it's gonna be even that ours weren't even that good either. I mean, they were fine.

[A]

No, they weren't fan. They are. They were just kind of like something to put in your room. I mean.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just what people do. Yeah, but did you have more to say about that? You were wondering if they're a new thing or not.

[B]

Oh, then what. What did we. I can't remember what we put them in.

[A]

Oh yeah, we got. Somehow we got them there in bags. I don't remember.

[B]

I think it might have been like one of those, like Seahawk. Like bad. Like. Like the bags you zip, not zip up, you pull up like a pull string. I think that's maybe what it was.

[A]

I think they were in just like gift bags.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. And then another thing about this is that. And maybe this will help you relax is that this wedding and the gathering in the hotels by the ocean.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

And neck pillow. The friend that they call neck pillow.

[B]

I love the color neck pillow. Phoebe called a neck pillow just because.

[A]

She'S a neck pillow. And high bun. Yeah. She says that the ocean makes you feel 5% better. She read a study on it, is what she says. I say More.

[B]

I would say a lot more.

[A]

I would say a lot more. I mean, when we go on vacation and we go to a place where we're by the ocean, which is usually Mexico, I mean, I sleep, boy, do I sleep. I sleep like a.

[B]

You have a nap in the afternoon, you sleep at night.

[A]

I sleep at night early. I nap usually by the ocean. After I'm finished reading for a little bit, I'll take a little nap and wake up and then we go to bed early. We don't stay out late because you get up early and go to the pool.

[B]

At the resorts that we stay at, they're not like party resorts. They're very like coupleys, not swingers parties, but just a couple types of. So there's not kids and it's just like people. There's a few people at the bar around 9, 9:30, and then it just, pretty much everything is kind of dead by 10. It's kind of like a lot of times if we're at the bar having one last drink at 10, we're kind of the last people there in these resorts. And then just time to go to bed. Like, what? You don't need to be out to send your fricking frogs at 2 in the morning. That's kind of nice. And then you wake up, like not with the sun as the farmers say, but you know, 7:30 or 8:00 clock and you're ready to go to the pool.

[A]

But John will usually be like, you know, oh, I'll, he'll, he'll order a Grand Marnier. That's John's favorite nightcap. He loves a grandma. And I feel like I started you on that and then you ran with it. That's what feels like. I feel like. I don't think you ever drank it before. And I got one once.

[B]

No, I didn't, I didn't drink it before, but I don't know where it started.

[A]

I, I think I one time wanted one as, as after dinner or something and got one. And then next, and the next thing I know, you started having one nightly. Just kidding, just kidding.

[B]

I haven't had a drink in three days. I know I would say that people often say to us, say to me, they're like, why do you go to Mexico and have to have this oceanfront place where you never go in the ocean? I get that question all the time from people that know that we go to Mexico all the time because of the reasons you just said it's very relaxing just being on the ocean. And yes, we sit by the pool most of the time, because that's where the servers are for the drinks and we sit by the pool. We don't really go in the pool either. But just to be able to have the ocean is very, very soothing.

[A]

It is. It's very soothing. It's relaxing. And in our defense, a lot of the places that we stay. You can't get in the ocean. And a lot of places in Cabo.

[B]

There's not very place in Cabo when you get in the ocean.

[A]

A lot of not swimming, swimmable beaches on the side that we stay on just because of the rocks and the waves and. But if we're in one where you can. We do get in. We tend to. Or I do. You don't really like to get in the ocean, but I do. And then when we take a sailing boat, when we take our sailboat, I usually jump in.

[B]

Yeah, you do.

[A]

Like a brave, brave lady. But it was nice.

[B]

It was nice last time because we went with friend. Went on a sailboat with friends. It's a big. It's like a big, like not. It's like big boat. It's not like. We'll ask our friend Jace. Him and his wife Trish would come on the boat with us and he thought it was gonna be like a little sailboat. It's like a massive boat.

[A]

Yeah, like a punt. No, no, they're not pontoons, but what are they called?

[B]

But they're kind of like the two big. Yeah, but anyways, never mind.

[A]

The sea catamaran.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And so he was very relieved to see that. He thought we were going out like a little sailboat, that we have like a proper boat and they have like a server and we. It's not a party boat. We don't go with the other people. We don't like other people. So we just go on this boat by ourselves. But anyways, it was nice last time when we were out, because usually if Sarah wants to go in the water, then I'm like, oh, I gotta, like, yeah, I gotta, you know, get my nuts a squeeze and go in there too. Man up. As the kids say, give my nuts a squeeze. And last time, Jason, Trish were there, so she went in the water too. And then. So Jason, I could just sit back there and drink our beers and not have to get in the water.

[A]

Yeah, you got off the hook.

[B]

It was very nice. And also okay about the ocean. My favorite restaurant in the world is called El Furlong's. It's at the Waldorf Astoria in Cabo. And it's right on the ocean. Like it's like almost like on a cliffside. Maybe. I'm not saying not like a cliff, but kind of like it's like a. What would it be, babe?

[A]

I don't know. I mean, it's a little bit of a. I mean, it's not as high as a cliff, but yeah, it's up.

[B]

Yeah, it's like a cliff, but it's like 20 foot drop. But in the high tide, the water almost like splashes into the restaurant like the mist. And they have light to kind of shine on the ocean. It's like the most amazing. Even if, I mean, if they serve me craft dinner and wiener stew, I would still think it's the greatest restaurant in the world. Just because it's like right on the ocean and so amazing.

[A]

Did you say wiener stew? What is that?

[B]

Well, I just mean like when, you know, like when you were a kid, did they ever have like the craft dinner and they put it with the wieners inside of it and it's kind of like a craft dinner. Wieners too.

[A]

Oh, oh, craft dinner. Like macaroni and cheese.

[B]

Oh, I think that's. Canadians call it craft dinner.

[A]

Okay, so like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

[B]

Yeah, we just call it kd.

[A]

You do?

[B]

I think, I think everyone's called it Katie so much that I think on the box it just says Katie. Now I don't think it even says Kraft Dinner.

[A]

And then when you put hot dogs in it, you call it Wiener stew.

[B]

No, I think I made that up right on the spot. Now I don't think anyone's ever called it that. I just think I called it that in the moment. Yeah, I think it should be called Wiener Stew.

[A]

I think it probably it could, that could catch on.

[B]

My friend in college name was Stuart and they called him Wiener Stew. I completely made that up. I didn't have a friend named Stu.

[A]

Oh, you're stupid. Yeah. Another thing that she, that Phoebe talks about before she, when she's there is, is she's talking about how her. This is like a. For a vacation she never took with her husband that she always wanted to.

[B]

Stick in the mud.

[A]

Yeah. And he liked, well, he liked to go to like, they like to go to the Ozarks. They went to Arkansas. Shout out Arkansas. They like to go to Ozarks. And they would go hiking. And she says, she says they did a lot, a lot of hiking in the Ozarks. She said she felt vacations had to be earned, but then they had to require like work and gear and. Yeah, that struck me because I know you guys have heard us talk about this before, but we're the opposite. It's like how little. I do feel like they have to be earned. I'm the person that if John starts suggesting Mexico, and I feel that I haven't done enough work or accomplished enough during a certain amount of time, then I feel guilty to go on vacation, but he'll still.

[B]

And I feel like I played professional football for 19 years and I banked enough hours to deserve it forever.

[A]

That's fair. That's fair.

[B]

It's not fair, but that's just how I feel about it. But the more mar. Marry someone that vacations like you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a big thing. Because if Sarah like to go, like, backpacking and camping, I mean, that's awesome. Good honor. But you just would have to find another husband to do it with.

[A]

I would. Well, we wouldn't. It just would. I think it's important that people have their own thing.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

But you want to be. You want to like doing what the other person likes doing, too, because you don't want it to be that you can never go on vacation together because you both. Because you. Because you don't like the same thing at all. Because, I mean, I'm sure that works for some people, but it wouldn't work for us because we'd like to vacation together.

[B]

Yeah. And it was like we went on our very first date, February 24, 2014. Then we. On our second date two days later. And then I think we met up. And I think on our fifth date, we went to Mexico together.

[A]

Right. We did for like four.

[B]

Four days. And I think we figured out, just.

[A]

So everyone knows, we were sleeping together by then. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

We slept the other before dessert on the first date, so.

[A]

That's not true. It was after, when we got home.

[B]

All right. Sorry. But we. We both. I think. I think that Sarah was a little bit worried that I would, like, not vacation like her. Yeah, maybe. I don't think I was that worried that you wouldn't vacation like me, but I thought you thought that I'd be, like, trying to, like, eat well and, like, work out and stuff because I was still playing football the time.

[A]

I was worried a little bit about that. And then also, you're a ginger. I was a little worried about you. And this. It would not. I didn't know if you would like to. It's weird how much you like to lay out in the sun. He's very careful. We Put him under a canopy, an umbrella. He's already had a little skin cancer removed. That was right where his helmet and his. And his jersey didn't protect him from football. So he's very careful. But I didn't. I was like, how much can a person that can't really sit in the sun? Like, the sun. And, boy, it turns out he can like it a lot.

[B]

I love it a lot. I love. I love sitting, like, under an umbrella.

[A]

But remember. Remember on our first day, we had.

[B]

A cabana the whole weekend. And I, like, we realized that after the first day that you can burn right through the fabric of a cabana. And Sarah's like, I didn't know that was possible. Like, it is for me. It is for me. Like, if there was, like, a light on too bright, I'd be burned right now.

[A]

So, yes, he was so sunburned. We were. We. And I was like, we were. We were in that cabana all day. But I guess it wasn't UV protective material. It was too sheer. And I remember I had a witch hazel with me because I use it for a toner. And I was just like, put. But I only had a little tiny thing of it, and I was trying.

[B]

To put all over your body.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was a fun trip, though. We stayed at Viceroy.

[A]

Yeah. In Puerto Playa del Carmen. But, yeah, we. We figured out that we like to vacation together. Now, do I think Phoebe and her husband. Do I think he cheated on her because they didn't like to do the same thing? Again, this is all in the very beginning of the book, so it's no spoilers. I don't think so.

[B]

No.

[A]

But is it nice to have someone that you do like to do the same things, but also do things on your own? That's what I think is the key.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

However, I don't think, you know, I think Phoebe did sound a little bitter that she thought that vacations had to be so much work. But I. It sounded. It was like, almost more her own thing, but she thought that's how it worked.

[B]

All those people that do, like, that outdoorsy stuff, a lot more work comes along with it. Like, people like. Like people that, like, go camping at the. Pack up the camper and pack up this, and they're packing up all week, and then they're unpacking the next week. I'm like, it just for me. I'm not. I'm not for it, but okay. Good on you. It just seems like a lot more work. It doesn't seem like as much Vacation as an adventure. Maybe.

[A]

It's like when our friend Jackie comes over because she's been. She's been doing a. Staying It. She's doing. On a little. On a little trip up north, and she comes. She comes to stay here one night, and she's bringing in, like, all her food and all her groceries and all this stuff that she's had with her, and then to get out of her car, and then you go in the room and it's just like, oh, my God, my. Open my refrigerator. I mean, you're staying here one night. But she has to get it all out because she's just here for one night because she has it with her when she's on her camping expedition. And I go, oh, Jesus Christ, just go to Mexico. I was thinking about how also, I think we're probably good on the vacation talk, right?

[B]

Sure. I could talk about Mexico all day, though.

[A]

I know when she first meets Lila, the bride, she really likes her name. She says it's a name she used to want for herself because one of the main characters in the Sweet Valley High books was named Lila. Guess who used to read. I mean, Valley High?

[B]

I would say, like, every female, for sure. I don't know. I never got into them, but every female from the age of, like, 40 to mid-50s. Read all them. Has read all of them.

[A]

They. Oh, your sisters read them too?

[B]

Oh, yeah. And I think there's, like. Like, wait, maybe not. There's one called, like, the Babysitters Club, but I think that's when they were younger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was big. Like, I remember all the girls reading that when I was in school.

[A]

Yeah, it was. I show too.

[B]

Come out as a show.

[A]

There was a TV show at some point. I don't. I don't think I ever saw it, or I can't remember if I did. Sweet Valley High. I'm gonna. I'm gonna Google it. Hi. TV show.

[B]

Yeah, in 1983.

[A]

Oh, you pulled it up faster than me. No, it says 1994.

[B]

The series, which began in 1983, follows the twins of their friends through typical teenage issues. It didn't come out in 94. Baby, you were 20 years old in 94. You didn't at 20.

[A]

Well, I'm looking at one that says Sweet Valley High. TV series programs start.

[B]

I'm talking about the books.

[A]

Oh, I was talking about the TV series.

[B]

Well, didn't we just get crossed up.

[A]

There, Girl, we sure did. Brittany Daniel and Cynthia Daniel. We ran from 1994 to 1997, and it was produced by Teen Dream Productions.

[B]

Oh, and then there were spin offs called Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Junior High, Sweet Valley University, and Sweet Valley Senior Year.

[A]

I mean, maybe we should do, like a reread of a couple Sweet Valley High books. I wonder if the listeners would be into that. We could do it for, like, Patreon or something. It would be kind of funny, but even if we just read one, this would be like.

[B]

Yeah, that would be funny. This would be like a dream for an author. As if you got into this, like, because it's kind of like. Like a. Like a formula to these books. Like, there's no way you can pump out. She was pumping out 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10 books a year. Like you're pumping out a book every five, five weeks.

[A]

Well, like Freedom Author.

[B]

Yeah, well, she's like. Yeah, she's like a four. Like, she's just pumping them out like she was the original AI.

[A]

Well, what about, like, what about, like, Nancy Drew books? Would they. Would they kind of follow the same. Let me see. I'm trying to see if this. If the Nancy Drew books, I mean. Yeah, she had to wait. Ace of Nancy Drew books. Are they that old? Why does it say 1930?

[B]

Shit.

[A]

Really? I don't know. I'm confused. But yeah. Oh. First published in 1930, the Nancy Drew series has sold over 70 million copies. So I don't know how many she pumped out, but there I. I'm sure there's. I think when you're doing those, like, teen author, you know, high school drama, whatever, that. Yeah, you do have to pump out a lot. But I'll tell you what. Sweet Valley High, she. That it kept me out of trouble because I. Because Regina in Sweet Valley High went to a party and she did cocaine and she died.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And so I was like, I'm not doing cocaine. It killed Regina.

[B]

Hmm. Lesson learned for guys.

[A]

Not at all interested.

[B]

I mean, good. Sweet Valley High teaching life lessons. I like it. There's a book, a guy named Matt Christopher who wrote sports books for, like, kids my age, like 8, 9, 10. And he was, like, the only guy that's writing, like, a series of, like, sports books we love. And his number one book was Touchdown for Tommy. Matt Christopher. I still remember that one. Real doozy. You wouldn't believe it. But at the end of the. At the end of the book, Tommy scores a touchdown.

[A]

Does he?

[B]

Yeah. The book is called Touchdown for Tommy, the number one sports series for kids.

[A]

He read a lot of books, so they just put the, like, spoiler in the title.

[B]

Well, let me see. This one's called the Kid who Only Hit Homers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think they give away the whole thing the pretty quickly. The lucky baseball bat. Yeah, it's pretty, it pretty much.

[A]

So that one kid, that one book is about a kid who only hit homers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The other one's about a lucky baseball bat.

[B]

Yeah. And then the other one is Touchdown for Touchdown for Tommy was really like the best piece of work he had, I think, just because it was about football. So I liked it.

[A]

Okay. I didn't know that they had these, these books for you to read. I think that's great. Was it a Canadian author?

[B]

Good question. Probably not. It just would have all been about hockey.

[A]

Okay, well, the other person thing that she references about Lila because. No, like she said, because she loved the character in Sweet Valley High. She also loved Friday Night Lights and a character named Lila with beautiful brown hair played by Minka Kelly. So she says she loved the name in Sweet Valley High and then she loved it again when the show Friday Night Lights came out. The wedding people had some fun references for me. Um, I guess because of what, you know, written kind of recently, so. But we loved Friday Night Lights.

[B]

It was, well, even when it was on, it was like the best show that no one watched. Like it was, it was the best show on tv. And then it'd be like half the season would be like NBC and one, one year, the second half of the season was on Direct TV, like the channel DirecTV, which isn't even a channel anymore, I believe it was like, it was like getting, I think it was only three different networks throughout it. It was just like crazy how it was the best show on TV that people weren't watching.

[A]

Yeah, I remember it start. It's, yeah, it started somewhere and then DirecTV picked it up on their own or and produced it on their own.

[B]

Yeah, something like that.

[A]

Right. And then they we re ran it. I, I, it was, it was so good. If you guys never watched Friday Night Lights. Highly recommend. I might even do a re. Watch. There was one weird, I think it was the second season where there was like a weird. Remember Landry? And there was like a dead body or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He was helped. Wasn't he helping his like then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not his girlfriend yet, like cover up the ball.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That was a weird part. Yeah.

[A]

It was just kind of like it didn't. I, I, I felt like, no, let's get back to the small town drama and Right. As a person who grew up in Arkansas. I can attest to the fact that people take their football to their high school football too seriously. I can attest to their. The book we should make. Gosh, we may have to do that book at some point too, because the book is really good. And then remember the movie with Tim McGraw? Why can't you hold on to the ball? Why can't you hold on to the ball?

[B]

They made the book or they made the movie almost like 20 years after the book. Like the book was, I believe it was based on the Permian Panthers in odessa, Texas in 1987.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so it was the, the movie was made a long time after the book. So I think everything's kind of been loosely based off of the original book because the original book was like a, A document doc, you said call it a documentary when it's a book. A guy. A guy followed around a high school football team all year and then wrote about it.

[A]

Oh, so the, the book was actually funny. I don't think I ever read Friday Night Lights. Yeah. The book, A Town, A Team and a Dream. Yeah. Non fiction book of immersive journalism by authors like Buzzinger Bissinger, following the story of the six 1988 Permian High School Panthers from Odessa. All the things John just said. And I'm just.

[B]

I was one year off. Yeah. Yeah. So he undercut, he uncovered like a lot of things the rest of the country didn't know about. Like he was like, how huge the football, how the players just did whatever the f they want. How back then we're looking at like nearly 40 years ago and the head football coach was making over 100 grand when the teachers in the Place to Go decks were making like 25 grand. It was just like, it uncovered a bunch of stuff that people was like, that's not, that's not right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think it really, I don't think it slowed down the high school football in Texas that much. It's still like absolutely massive.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, people love it. I mean, it's bigger than ever. And it is. And, and, and in like other places in the South, I mean, it was big for us, but not. But you're. I mean, I know as I know adults that still go to high school football games that aren't. They didn't play, but they just go to like the high school football game because.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If their kid's not on it. You know what I mean? Like, but they'll go because they're rooting for their local high school football Team. It's kind of cool, but my nephew's.

[B]

My nephew's playing against my old arch rival high school tonight. Oh, now, big deal. Yeah.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So I'm looking forward to hearing how that goes. He's a star player. Star of the team. MVP last year. He'll be MVP this year.

[A]

Who. Which one? Which nephew?

[B]

Bennett.

[A]

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So hopefully he'll get a Skull scholarship after this year.

[A]

Okay. I just want to go back real quick to Friday Night Lights and.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And we'll go. We'll update you on. On how Bennett does. Bennett's the best. He's. He's a talented kid. I don't feel like you like my, my Tim McGraw impression. I really try to.

[B]

I love you, baby. I love it. I've just heard it a lot.

[A]

He has heard it a lot. It's my favorite. Can I do it one more time?

[B]

Yeah, please.

[A]

Why can't you hold on to the ball? And then. And then he tapes his hands around the ball. It's. I mean, it's not great. He's. He plays an alcoholic father, and then he. His son couldn't hold on to the ball, and. And so they lost a game. And then he. I think he kicks out a window at one point. It's real dramatic, but I think it was the first time we ever saw Tim McGraw in. In such a role. And I think it was the first time I saw him without his hat. And that was surprising in a good way.

[B]

Oh, Chris Francola says he said cowboy. Hot cowboy hat. Real good looking guy. No, cowboy hat. Manager at Radio Shack.

[A]

I guess. I guess that might be a little accurate or. I think it's just. I think when someone wears a cowboy hat and it's part of their identity and their. And then you see them without it, it's just jarring at first.

[B]

And then Kenny Chesney has the same thing.

[A]

Yeah. Well, even now, actually, I've seen George Straight without his cowboy hat and. And didn't. Yeah, he still looked. I think I. I think I've seen him with him without it enough that I never. It did. Nothing ever surprised me. Like he just still looked. I mean, I'll say it. George Straight's still hot. I don't care. But all five foot four of them. Yeah, whatever. He'll kick your ass. He won't.

[B]

I don't think he would.

[A]

But Tim McGraw could. No, no, he couldn't either.

[B]

Very small, very skinny.

[A]

Yeah, he. Well, I think he went on like a health journey or something when he quit drinking.

[B]

He did.

[A]

He quit drinking, too. Yeah. But anyway, I just. I just felt like my impression got a little glossed over a little.

[B]

Sorry. It is a good impression.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very good impression.

[A]

I didn't really expect us to talk so much about Friday Night Lights, but I'm glad we did, because I really did love that show, and it was really just a few minutes. But listen, it's out. It was brought up in the wedding people, and we brought it up to you. That's how this goes.

[B]

That's exactly how it goes.

[A]

John. I'm glad you got to get some rants off your chest. I had a whole bunch of other stuff written down to talk about, but the good news is. Oh, the one thing I do want to bring up before we go. Good news is we still have next week to get to the rest of the stuff I have to talk about. But did you. When? Again, not a spoiler, but when Phoebe first meets Gary. Okay, so at one point, they meet because he's the groom and she's at the wedding, so you know that they're going to meet at some point. When she first meets him and he admits to something embarrassing, do you remember what it was?

[B]

No.

[A]

He said that he became addicted in college to his girlfriend's romance novels.

[B]

That's right. That's right. That's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sorry. I do remember that.

[A]

And we say, gary, the whole point of the book list is that's nothing to be embarrassed about.

[B]

That's right, buddy. Whatever you want to read, you read. Whatever tells you to read, you read.

[A]

What you want to read, you read what your heart desires. That's the whole point of this podcast.

[B]

It always reminds me of Howard.

[A]

Yeah, Gary. All right, guys, thank you for listening. We will be back next week with another episode with a bunch of stuff we didn't get to today. But also, join us on Patreon. Lots of fun little stuff over there. That's Patreon bonus. And the short stories have been so much fun. Lottery by Shirley Jackson, if you don't remember. Oh, and next month, October already. The Good Lie by A.R. torrey is our book. I just started it. We're gonna go. Yeah, I. I hadn't done a serial killer one yet, so we are. That's. This is where we're at, people. Don't worry. Buckle up, Buckle up. And thanks for listening. Rate, review, and subscribe. It helps us a lot. Bye.

[B]

See you next week.

[A]

The book List.

[B]

The book Lisp.

[A]

The book List.

[B]

The book lisp.

[A]

The book List.