Mama Bears & Pregnancy Scares

Summary

The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Episode: Mama Bears & Pregnancy Scares
Release Date: February 17, 2025

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Introduction and Welcome

The episode begins with a warm and humorous greeting from hosts Sarah Colonna and Jon Ryan as they welcome listeners to the third week of their February Book Lisp. They set a cozy atmosphere, mentioning the rainy weather in Los Angeles and the comfort of recording from home.

Sarah (00:00): "Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna. And I'm John Ryan and you're listening to the Book List."

Jon (00:07): "The Book Lisp."

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Patreon and Bonus Content Overview

Sarah takes a moment to highlight their Patreon page, explaining the additional content available to supporters, including video discussions, short stories, and exclusive episodes. She emphasizes the variety of content released throughout the month, ensuring that there's something for every listener.

Sarah (00:56): "If you care to join us on Patreon, you can watch the video where we sit here and discuss. It's just the podcast but with also with video."

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Current Book Discussion: "New Wife" by Sue Watson

The primary focus of the episode revolves around their current book selection, The New Wife by Sue Watson. While they refrain from delving deep into the book until week four, Sarah expresses her excitement about the unexpected twists and the satisfying conclusion of the story.

Sarah (02:50): "I keep seeing all the different posts about people are finishing the book, people that hadn't. There's people that are loving it. Didn't expect twists. I definitely didn't expect the ending because, well, we discussed this in the beginning."

Jon adds that he looks forward to sharing his insights and hearing Sarah's perspectives during their full review next week.

Jon (03:09): "I want to hear what. Because we talk about it. But I don't think I've gotten all your insights."

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Themes Explored: Messy Friends and Protective Moms

Transitioning from the book, the hosts discuss broader themes inspired by The New Wife, particularly focusing on "messy friends" and "protective moms." They draw parallels between the characters in the book and their personal experiences, illustrating how friendships and parental protection shape one's life.

Sarah (06:37): "Messy friends. As there were. As that was quite a theme of this book where we thought that one person was the messy friend, but really it was our. Our darling. Was it Lauren?"

Jon (07:14): "Like back to Sadie, if you're. No matter how far in you are, you know, that CD basically grew up as her almost sister, even though she wasn't her sister."

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Personal Anecdotes: Sneaking Out and Parenting Styles

Sarah shares a vivid story from her teenage years about sneaking out with her friend Amy. This narrative serves to highlight different parenting approaches—specifically, the balance between leniency and discipline.

Sarah (10:16): "I remember I never snuck out because I saw her get caught sneaking out. And she did the classic pillows made to look like a body underneath."

The conversation delves into Jon's experiences with his liberal parents regarding curfews, contrasting them with Sarah's more conservative upbringing. They discuss the impact of parental trust and the importance of self-discipline in adolescence.

Jon (08:32): "My parents are pretty liberal in their, like curfews. They were just like, come home at an appropriate time."

Sarah (09:44): "If they're pretty liberal with that... You can give enough leniency where someone doesn't feel like they have to overstep or take advantage of it."

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Protective Mothers: A Deep Dive

The hosts explore the concept of protective mothers, drawing from their personal lives and relating it to the characters in the book. Sarah praises Jon's mother, Georgie, for her unwavering protectiveness and affection.

Sarah (35:08): "The only one she's like. Since I've had any money. Yeah, she liked my high school girlfriend."

Jon (40:11): "And she's also, if you're hearing this, she's also like the sweetest woman in the world."

They share amusing and heartfelt stories about dealing with overprotective mothers, emphasizing the balance between safeguarding and allowing independence.

Sarah (25:48): "I had a couple parties when my parents were camping... we break into the liquor cabinet."

Jon (37:12): "It was like real Days of our Lives type stuff."

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Friendships and Boundaries

Jon recounts an incident involving his friend Logan at a Seahawks game, illustrating the challenges of maintaining friendships while managing behavior under the influence. Sarah complements this with stories about hosting and dealing with friends who might push boundaries.

Jon (16:13): "We wake up, we have a couple drinks, go to the pub, we go to the game. We're drinking just all that stuff."

Sarah (19:56): "He's the kind of person, though, right, that you can just go, hey, buddy, zip it up."

They discuss the importance of setting boundaries with friends to ensure respectful and enjoyable interactions, especially in social settings.

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Upcoming Book Selections and Events

Looking ahead, Sarah announces the next month's book pick, What Alice Forgot by Leanne Moriarty, expressing her enthusiasm for diving into a new genre after enjoying Sue Watson's work. They also tease their upcoming live shows in Enumclaw and Everett, encouraging listeners to attend and support their stand-up performances.

Sarah (04:00): "Next month, so March, is the What Alice Forgot by Leanne Moriarty."

Jon (49:59): "It's going to be super fun shows. Those are stand up shows in case anyone's like, I'm new here."

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Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Jon and Sarah reflect on the complexities of friendships, marriages, and parental relationships. They emphasize the unpredictable nature of human interactions and the importance of understanding and communication.

Sarah (41:47): "When you think your friends have a certain marriage or your friend has a certain marriage and this whole other life comes out, you're just..."

Jon (48:05): "John doesn't fall in. He'll call you out."

They conclude by inviting listeners to engage with their Patreon for additional content and reminding them of the exciting discussions planned for the full book review in the following week.

Sarah (50:24): "Go watch Pickles on Demand on the MLB Network if you didn't catch it this past Saturday."

Jon (50:25): "Bye."

Both (50:29): "The book lisp."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jon (00:24): "It feels weird. It's raining outside right now."
• Sarah (00:36): "You can work from home and record at home in our cozy..."
• Jon (03:09): "Keep on going."
• Sarah (07:36): "Messy friends... protective moms."
• Jon (08:32): "My parents are pretty liberal in their, like curfews."
• Sarah (10:16): "I never snuck out because I saw her get caught."
• Jon (16:13): "We were drinking just all that stuff."
• Sarah (25:48): "We break into the liquor cabinet..."
• Jon (37:12): "It was like real Days of our Lives type stuff."
• Sarah (41:47): "When you think your friends have a certain marriage..."
• Jon (48:05): "John doesn't fall in. He'll call you out."
• Both (50:29): "The book lisp."

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Conclusion

"Mama Bears & Pregnancy Scares" offers a blend of book discussions, personal anecdotes, and insightful conversations about friendships and family dynamics. Jon and Sarah's candid and humorous interactions provide listeners with relatable content and a deeper understanding of the themes explored in The New Wife. As they gear up for their next book review and live events, listeners are left eager for more engaging discussions in future episodes.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna. And I'm John Ryan and you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.

[B]

The Book Lisp.

[A]

Oh, that's right, you're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. Happy Monday, happy week three of your February Book Lisp. Hi, John.

[B]

Hello. Welcome. It's. It feels weird. It's raining outside right now. Whenever it rains outside in la, it feels weird.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Well, if you don't like doing anything.

[A]

No, you don't feel like doing anything, which is. It's nice that at least in this case we can work from home and record at home in our cozy in our cozies if we want. Our comfies if we want. Even though people can watch on Patreon. So don't worry, we have proper tops on. But my, my hair's heron because of.

[B]

The rain humidity, girl.

[A]

It's a lot going on up, up top. Boy. This is week three and I really like the in between weeks, but I'm really, now I'm just really excited to get to week four just because I keep seeing all the different posts about people are finishing the book, people that hadn't. There's people that are loving it. Didn't expect twists. I definitely didn't expect the ending ending because, well, we discussed this in the beginning, I think the first week. But there's. It seems like the books, they found someone and then the book keeps going and you go, there's no way there's 30 left. And this is the solution. So yeah, yeah. So a lot happens. Really like it. The New Wife by Sue Watson. If you care to join us on Patreon, you can watch the video where we sit here and discuss. It's just the, it's the podcast but with also with video. But also there's a ton of bonus content on the 5th, 15th and 25th of every month. Just this past two days ago on the 15th we did the short story Freda McFadden's the Housemaid's Wedding. Last month we did Freda McFadden the Gift. It's not always going to be a Frida McFadden short story that just happened two months in a row. But we'll always do a short story on the 15th. Quick reads, something you can keep up with like a 30, 45 minute ready and then listen to it at your convenience over here on page over there on Patreon. And then on the 15th and the 25th, we just are the fifth and the 25th, we just do silly John and Sarah. Hit record. Catch up with you guys. Sometimes there's books involved. Maybe what we're reading that's not involved with the book list. Blah, blah, blah. It's five bucks a month. It's a little fun thing that we do. Join the book list spinners in the Facebook group if you'd like. That's a great place to keep up with all your. It's like a book club on Facebook. It's fun.

[B]

Tons of fun.

[A]

John, you're always shot out of a cannon right at the beginning.

[B]

It takes me a while to get going. I'm like a slow burn.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

You know, it'll be fun to review it next week because, see, I want to hear what. Because we talk about it. But I don't think I've gotten all your insights. So I want to see what you have to say about all the twists and turns. And if you haven't finished reading it yet, you still have a week.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Keep on going.

[A]

Yeah. And of course, it's always there for when you want to read that part, if you. If. When you listen to that part, if you're behind on the book itself. But tell your friends, rate, review and subscribe, listen to the in between weeks and listen to the book review because it's really fun. And that's the funny thing is, I don't know if we've really talked about this, but you and I kind of refrain from talking about the book, too, until we get to week four and actually get each other's thoughts on it. There will be a couple things that come up where I'll say, oh, what did you think of this? Or how far along are you? Or when we were reading Seven Husbands last week or last month, I gave you a little bit of thoughts along the way, but we really don't discuss the book until. With. Even with each other until week four.

[B]

No, just little things here and there, as you said, about what you think about this or that, but not like in depth. That's why it's more fun to save it for that hour. The end of the month.

[A]

I'm so next month, so March, because that's coming right up already, is the what Alice Forgot by Leanne Moriarty. Leanne Moriarty. That is. That is John's pick and he's very excited about it. I'm excited because I've never read it and I really like her. Like she. Big little lies. I've liked other books of hers, so I am excited to read that book. And now I'm realizing I'm already having to come up with my April pick.

[B]

Because we kind of like, okay, you got time.

[A]

I know, but we sort of like to. We. We usually basically will announce it week, right after week one of the next month because we don't want to confuse people and think they're getting their. Listen, people are complicated. Sometimes they forget where they are, what month it is. And I'm talking about. Talking about myself. So I. I'm reading a couple. If you're on our Goodreads on. On the book list on Goodreads, you probably are already seeing some of the things that I'm reading. One of them I haven't. I don't think I put currently reading because I don't want to give anything away, but I'm reading a couple books right now to try to. I'm not going to fully read them before I decide, but I just want to get a feel. Does that make sense?

[B]

No, it totally makes sense because you. This one you picked not sight unseen, but you didn't read it all before you suggested it to the listeners, right?

[A]

No, and I'm. I liked it a lot. So I'm. Plus I'm happy with that. It's just there's a lot of pressure to make sure everybody's happy and everybody has been, so there's a lot of pressure to keep that up. And also there's a piece of me that wants to say, oh, this is one of my favorite authors. I want to introduce you guys to this person. But then there's this other piece of me that's like, well, I want to read this book. So I want. Let's all read it together. So there's a little bit of. Anyway, I've got a couple in mind. Don't worry about everybody.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Well, what Alice forgot. So, John, since it's week three and we don't really do book reviews until book four. Week four. Book four. We thought this week we'd have a little bit of discussion about some other themes in the book. Messy friends.

[B]

These are topics inspired by the book. Yes, but not have nothing to do with the book. Messy Friends.

[A]

Messy friends. As there were. As that was quite a theme of this book where we thought that one person was the messy friend, but really it was our. Our darling. Was it Lauren? I always do this at the beginning the book.

[B]

No, it's fun.

[A]

Forget who everybody's name. Who everybody's name was. But her friend Sadie was super messy. Or so we thought. Well, I Don't want to spoil it in case you're not there. So Lauren and Sadie are friends from years and years ago, correct? Right.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like back to Sadie, if you're. No matter how far in you are, you know, that CD basically grew up as her almost sister, even though she wasn't her sister. So messy friends, people covering for each other, the common theme in this book. And then protective moms.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I think that got us to where we want to discuss a few of those topics. I would say not messy friends, but also we can include messy siblings. Because the first thought I had when I thought about how Lauren and Sadie were, quote, unquote, one of them was a troublemaker in high school and took the fall for things that the other one did. I thought about not taking the fall necessarily, but I thought about when my sister first did her first sneak. My sister's three years older than me. Is three years older than me. So she did her first sneak out. Sneaking out or. I don't know if it was her first, but it was the first time she got caught and she did have. Do you ever. Did you ever sneak out, John? No. Goody. Too.

[B]

I think part of it. My parents are pretty liberal in their, like curfews. They were just like, come home at an appropriate time. Like just come home when the party's over. You don't need to be walking in at 2 in the morning. But I'm not going to freak out if you come in at 1 instead of 1201.

[A]

You know what's interesting?

[B]

They're pretty liberal with that.

[A]

It's interesting.

[B]

I never had to sneak out.

[A]

Yeah. That approach is interesting to me because we don't have kids. So we got three cats. One of them was making a lot of noise before we started recording. Okay. We have our own problems, people, but we, we don't have kids. So I know I, I don't know how I would be and I don't even know if this is accurate, but it worked for you. So it, and it probably is a case by case basis if you really study it. But one thing I do think can happen is you can give enough leniency where someone doesn't feel like they have to overstep or take advantage of it. Right. If they're. They can think, oh, I don't. Yeah, my parents aren't hard on me, but I'm not going to abuse that because of their leniency with me. And I think that's really. It's probably always going to boil down to a Personality though. Yeah, right?

[B]

Yeah. Like my parents theory is always like, oh, if you're the designated driver tonight, I'd rather you stay at the party till 1 o'clock and drive all your friends home, then come home at 12 and leave all your drunk friends there. You know, like I, I trust you enough to know that you're not going to walk in like drunk driving at 4am I think my brother took some liberal liberties with that.

[A]

But not anymore. Now he's grown up.

[B]

Not anymore.

[A]

Not mistakes that we made.

[B]

The older three, me, my older sisters were, were pretty good with. We, we didn't get in very much trouble and we kind of had a long leash and like very liberal rules.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like. So there was, I was. When I brought this up with my sister, I remember I never snuck out because I saw her get caught sneaking out. And she did that. She did the classic pillows made to look like a body underneath. And she said she was staying in her friend's house and her friend said she was staying at her house.

[B]

And then the classic.

[A]

Oh, just the classic, just the, just the dumb move that you're. Well, I mean I guess some people got away with it but her, Then her mom's friend calls my mom's landline at 1:00 in the morning because she's not there. And then my mom, it almost worked because my mom looked in. So I woke up because I heard them talking and whatever so I knew something was going on. So I'm the nosy three, you know, three years younger, daughter slash sister who's running around behind everybody like what's going on? What'd Jennifer do? Who in trouble? And she, my mom looked in the room and she said no, she's here. To the mom on the phone.

[B]

Oh. And oh.

[A]

So she almost got away with it. But then the mom on the phone said, why don't you just double check? Because I don't remember the girl's name but she's like, so let's just say her name was Lisa. She's like, Lisa's done this to me before and I thought someone was in bed. And then my mom goes in there, pulls back the COVID sure enough, just a couple of body pillows crammed together. And I think there might have been a wig involved. Yeah. And so, and then, so now my mom, now my mom. And they wait. They wait for her at the door. No, in her bed. They wait. Yeah, because she comes to the window like old school. This is an old school Arkansas sneak out. Guys. I can, I can, I'M sure some of you know about it, some of you don't. Keep an eye on your kids. Hide your kids. She. I will never forget it because I was back there, and I probably. I don't know if I should have been back there watching, but I was like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna see how. How this unfolds because this is. This is something I'm not going to do. Lesson learned. So she comes. Lights are off in her bedroom. She's no idea. She comes crawling back in the window. One. One leg in. And my mom flips on the lights.

[B]

Got her.

[A]

Oh, just the worst. Just by my sister's eyes, you know, she's 16. She's not. She was just out. She wasn't. She was out late with a guy or something. Nothing. Or a friend. Nothing was. It's just the. It's just what? Just what people do at that age sometimes, especially in Arkansas, you go meet up at the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the woods.

[B]

In the woods. It feels like times are so much different now. Like. And different. Also different. Where you and I grew up, like, in Saskatchewan, we never locked the doors. It was always like the last one home locked the door. It wasn't the big. It wasn't the big deadbolt or anything. It's one of those locks you probably kick in. It was never a word. It was never a word. Just everyone go to bed and leave the door unlocked. And also, your parents couldn't track you on a cell phone. Like, not. Parents track exactly where their kids are at all time. And they also, they have no excuse. They can't be like, back in the day, we're like, well, I have to wait for my designated driver or whatever. It's like, there's an Uber. There's a Waymo outside the door at all times. Yeah. You'll be home within 10 minutes no matter what. It just seems like such a different time than when you and I were growing up that just like. Yeah, I feel you can't get away with anything anymore. Also, if, like, if you found out your kids knock out people, like in la, the middle la, you probably call the cops.

[A]

Like, you know what I mean?

[B]

Like, you don't know where your kid is. It could be terrifying.

[A]

Right. Whereas this, you just know she's probably at one of two houses or out with one of two friends or in one of three meetup spots that you've probably heard about. Because it was. Yeah. Because listen, if this was Lauren and Sadie from the new wife, Lauren would be probably sneaking in the window and Then say, sadie made me do it kind of situation.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

That was. That was kind of where these two, their. Their friendship lied. I know. And they were kind of sisters in a way, so it made me think of that story. But I had.

[B]

I had friends in high school that I knew. I was like, if I go out with you, I'm gonna get in trouble tonight. It's just one of those things. Like, there's a couple kids. Just no matter what you did, you're like, we're going to get in trouble tonight. You almost had. Like, I was smart enough because I was, like, an athlete and I thought I was going places with sports that I knew. I'm like, okay. I, like, separate myself from this guy a little bit. He's one of my best friends. And the joke was like, he'll never make it to 18 because he was just, like, crazy. That crazy kid in school, you know, he actually died at 39, being crazy, but, yeah, sad. But he was like. That guy was like, if you're going out with him, you're probably going to get in some serious trouble tonight.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. There was, like, a couple kids like that that I kind of went to high school with. But you. You definitely grow out of that. And then your. Your sloppy friends just become the friends that, like, can't handle alcohol. Like, now that we're in our 40s and 50s, it just. We just have friends that can't handle their liquor.

[A]

I know. Such a bummer. Every once in a while.

[B]

You and I can handle our liquor very well, but we have certain friends. It's like, oh, if we're gonna hang out all day, it's like, I kind of want you to go home by, like, four. Okay. Like, we're gonna go for brunch. It's not gonna be an all dare.

[A]

Yeah, like, we're. We could do brunch and then maybe have a stop at the wine bar on the way home. Come home, cook something to eat, watch some tv, cozy up like someone else that we have a couple friends. It's like, they're just.

[B]

We went to a Seahawk game this year with one of my best. I'm gonna tell. So you don't want me tell the story with one of my best friends, Logan, and we, like, we wake up.

[A]

I didn't say not to tell him. I just. It's a Seahawks name. Out. Okay.

[B]

Okay. His name's Logan. So it's a Seahawks Sunday.

[A]

Logan Richard.

[B]

Logan Richards. He has a weird last name or middle name, too. What was it?

[A]

Is it Matthew? It's not. That's not a weird name.

[B]

That's my brother's. Anyways, I really, really wanted to call him out, so we. It's. It's a Seahawk Sunday. So we wake up, we have a couple drinks, go to the pub, we go to the game. We're drinking just all that stuff. In the fourth quarter, we're in Tracy Snyder's suite.

[A]

And at one point, also, you need to. Also.

[B]

Oh, no, wait. Sorry, sorry. It was a night game. So we were drinking all day.

[A]

Yes. And you need to add to this story, guys, that not only was it a night game, again, we're just on messy friends. And this is going to be fun. Not only was it a night game, John was raising the 12th man flag, something that was his bucket list thing to do. If you want to know what that means and you don't, you can look on my Instagram. I posted a video of it, and it's also on John's Instagram. But anyway, so you were being honored that night at the game as well.

[B]

You say that, but it's not like he ruined anything.

[A]

No, he didn't. But I'm just saying, I was like, keep your tight tonight.

[B]

Like, as People did that. Yes. And so by the fourth quarter, he had. He had. He had. He had the time, his life. And I'm not upset with him, any of this. Oh, no, he. But I'm also the guy that we've been. We've done. I go, logan, go stand in the corner and don't talk to anyone until we get back to the car. He goes, oh, am I. Am I being too much? I'm like, yes. He's like, oh, okay. Like, I get. That's the kind of guy, like, you've told Logan to shut up before. You're like, logan, you got to shut up. You can start talking again when we. You know what I mean? And he was like, oh, I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was one of those days.

[A]

Like, you could speak again. When we're by ourselves, when he says. And when John says, tracy Schneider, that's the GM of the Seahawks wife. So when she invites you into her suite, you definitely don't want to be. You don't want your drunk friend mouthing off.

[B]

There's drinking, there's drinking, but everyone's on their best behavior.

[A]

Yes. Yes. And luckily, Logan is the kind of person, though, right, that you can just go, hey, buddy, zip it up.

[B]

I literally said, you can talk again when we get in the car. And he said, okay.

[A]

That's the best part, when he just goes, okay, okay. I think we sh. He was. John threw a very nice dinner party for me for my birthday this year. And it was. We had. It was catered, and we had a bartender and it was a small group of my closest friends. And I wanted Logan there because. Because he's John's best friend. He's become one of my closest friends. Truly is this person would do anything for. He's the best. He's a great friend. He is. Like I always say, if John ever. If anything, God forbid, ever happened to John, Logan would probably be like, I'm going to move in and I'm going to be in a room and I'm just going to stare at you and make sure you're okay until. For, like, for the rest of your life, until you ask me to leave. But he's just a really good friend, so I wanted him there. He came. And that night, I remember our friend Erica, who. One of my best friends, John's best friends now, was taking videos all night, you know, recording the evening here and there, little clips, and we were looking through him the next day that she sent. And Logan goes, oh, so I was as annoying as I thought, huh?

[B]

Yeah, he recognized it, like, in each.

[A]

Clip, he was just, like, hamming it up. I'm like, no, you were. You knew the camera was on you, so you were being, like, funny for Erica and probably trying to try to impress her or something. But, yeah, you were annoying, but also, nobody noticed. No, he's the best.

[B]

Yeah. So, yeah, sloppy friends really come down to alcohol. Now, this point in our life, and it's probably bigger, more embarrassing for us that we can handle. Handle our alcohol so well that we aren't usually the sloppy one.

[A]

Well, when I was thinking about, like, the Sadie and Lauren situation because I. I didn't have. I think because I did have an older sister that got in trouble here and there. Nothing crazy, like I said, but just the things she did, the things she walked so I could run. Right. She messed up so I could figure out how to not mess up or how to cover it up better, but I still did. We definitely threw a couple parties when my parents were camping. And luckily I know that my mom has no idea how to access podcasts right now, so she'll never hear that. I think I've told. I've talked to her about it a couple times by now, but. But there was one time. I remember my best friend in high school. Her name was Amy. And while my parents were out of town. She came over and she was spending the night with me, which is no problem. We were. We weren't lying. She was staying at the house. Her mom knew she was staying at the house. They knew my parents were out of town or camping, whatever it was. And I think I was. You know, we were probably 16 at this point. So we break into the liquor cabinet, which isn't very big in my mom's house, as you know, my mom and my dad are not big or stepdad were not big drinkers. A little bit of old charter my stepdad would always keep around, which is the color of iced tea, by the way. And there was some vodka, for some reason, which neither of my parents or vodka drinkers in that. Of that set of parents.

[B]

But that's for company.

[A]

Yeah, I guess it was for company, so.

[B]

Or it was still left over from her first marriage to your dad 35 years ago.

[A]

How dare you. How dare you suggest that my dad would have left any vodka.

[B]

Not true. He would have took that with him.

[A]

Yeah, he would have taken that or at least would have finished it before he left. Oh, that's funny. Okay. But vodka's the color of water, correct? So you know where I'm going with this. We would drink some whiskey. We would drink some water. We would refill it. Some vodka. We would refill it with the water or the iced tea. And one night we also. There was something else. Maybe they had had a Christmas party or a holiday party, and someone had brought some random bottle of something. Some. So we got into something that didn't taste good, and we both got sick. I got sick in the toilet, like a lady. And she threw up all over the hallway, like, just up and down the hallway. And so we clean it as best we can. But it's. It smells. Yeah, I know. It's. I don't even want to make you guys think about it. But now here's the difference, I guess, between me and her and Lauren and Sadie, we weren't. I wasn't going to throw Amy under the bus for being the one that threw up. She wasn't going to throw me under the bus for, I don't know, giving her my parents alcohol. We weren't going to. We just. We came up with a story because when it smelled so bad in the hallway, I thought, what better way to cover it up than with some perfume?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And at that point in my life, I was wearing exclamation. Some of you kids might remember that. Probably a lot of you don't. John, do you remember? Exclamation.

[B]

No. Right around, like, my time and, like, when I was 14, 15, it was like. Or 12. It was CK1. That was the one that people wore. CK1.

[A]

And that was for men and women, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Or unisex, as they say, was bisexual. No, Unisex.

[B]

Oh, you don't know.

[A]

Wait, that's my favorite friend's joke. Unisex. Maybe you need sex. No, Joey, you and I sex. Oh, okay, girl. Anyway, so I'll always come up with a friend's reference. Guys. Anyway.

[B]

Or bad Santa.

[A]

Yeah, or bad Santa. But we decided to say that we. Because we had to cover it with perfume. And now it just smelled like puke and perfume. Exclamation. And perfume. When my parents got home, I told my mom that we got in a perfume fight and that it smelled so bad because there was so much perfume being sprayed that it made both of us sick. And.

[B]

Wait, did your mom fall for this?

[A]

I guess she didn't. Wow. She didn't not fall for it. She didn't. I don't. I. I hate to say that she believed me because that will make her sound very naive. And my mom is not a naive lady. But. No, I think because I sound somehow painted myself as the Lauren, I guess, in this situation. If we're referring to the book, I painted myself as the good one. The one that never effed up. Blah, blah, blah. She either just chose to believe me or she knew I was lying. But she didn't really have any. There's no. There's no proof at this point. Right? There's no. We don't have. Like you said, times are different. They don't have cameras. There's not a little. She didn't put a little pet camera on me to keep an eye on me.

[B]

I look back at some of the stories I told my parents, and then I look back and I'm like, oh, I got them. And I'm like, they knew. They're like, okay, John, we're watching. But we know.

[A]

That's what I kind of think. I think there's a point where you go, listen, if you think I. If you think I believe you and Amy just. Just sprayed exclamation at each other until you threw up. You're. You're crazy. But I don't really have any evidence to prove otherwise, so what I'm going to do is I'm just going to keep an eye on your stupid ass. Right?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We had. My parents had this. I don't know why, but they had this thing that they always thought it was really funny when we messed up. Like minorly messed up. Not like, I remember one time my brother and I and my mom and dad went to a hockey tournament. I think I was like 15. No, I was like 13. So my sister's like 15 and 17 for some reason. We left the car at my grandparents house. We come back to get to the car, my grandma's house, and there's a note in the car says, mom and dad, we threw a party. Everything went well, but there's a hole in the wall and the banister is broken. And my parents start like giggling like all the way home. Like my brother and I are so mad. Like my parents, like my sisters. And they were giggling all the way home. They thought it was so funny. Like they got home and they're like, okay, like this is what teenagers do. But you, like, you or your friends have to pay to get this fixed. And they did, but they just thought it was so. And then my brother, my brother's first week of ninth grade, we have a school dance and he went in before the dance and hid. We used to call them Mickey's like 12 ounce bottles of oh yeah, vodka. I don't know what other people call them. Whatever. He hid them in the top of the toilets in the locker room by the, by the party or by the whatever sock cop or whatever. And the principal walks in like half an hour into his first dance, like he's 14 years old. It's like the first week of school and he's drinking straight, like drinking straight vodka. And so the principal comes like, John? Yeah? Can you take your brother home? And then I called him, I'm like, yeah, I have to bring maybe me or the principal, like Steve has to come home. He's been drinking at a school dance. And my mom told me that they laughed their ass off for 30 minutes. They thought it was so funny. Like when he got home, we had to like discipline him. We didn't never got grounded or anything. But I think my parents knew, like, you have to do like you're gonna do a certain amount of things in your teens. They're like, they're stupid. As long as you're not like shooting heroin and you know, whatever, you're just doing normal teenage stuff. And I think that some people, some parents like, like, and I'm speaking like, we have obviously no kids. So maybe I'm speaking out my ass. But think some parents like overreact to that and then kids start like hiding stuff more.

[A]

Right? I think that's such a. It's. I think it's easy to say, oh yeah, if you give them more leniency, they won't hang themselves with the rope or whatever. But in the, you know, that. What is that term? Yeah, give them enough rope to hang themselves kind of thing when they, if they screw up or. But I think I feel like it's such a case by case P100% basis because there's some kids that are going to be like, cool, I got. Yes. And they're not gonna. And then there's other people that get it, respect it and go, okay. And I just think it's, it's gotta be so personality based. I don't, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know which one to do because I'd be afraid all the time. And we have a couple of really good friends who have two of the greatest kids and we've known these kids since they were, I don't know, 8 and 10 or something like that now. And they're both in college and, and they kind of did what your. Your parents did, right? They kind of gave them, gave them this. All right, well, when you're home, if you want to do this, like a little bit of not overly disciplined or overly something and they turned out they're great kids and they never really took advantage of it or disrespected them because. But I think it's got to be so it's such a. That's a shot in the dark.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And I know for me it was always like driven into like, yeah, you can go do like dumb. But also, if you cross that line, you're not playing college football, you're not playing professional football like that. That's off the table when you're only 17, if you want to like, step too far. So as long as it's my back, I'm like, I have to. I can, I can do stuff, but I can't be ridiculous, right?

[A]

There's, that is. There's a certain amount of self discipline that you have to. Have to not take advantage of things like that. And I think probably that's what. My parents are pretty intuitive for the most part. Of course there's a few wild cards out there, but I think parents know, hey, if I give this kid a little bit of leniency, he, he. She is gonna handle it correctly. And then there's some that are probably like, oh boy, I gotta keep this one and I on this one. And I gotta make some strict rules because they're they'll thank me later for it. I bet there's a lot of that. Whereas. Yeah. And not every one of them has a cop father that can clean things up for them like Lauren did in the New Life.

[B]

Thank God she had a cop father.

[A]

Yeah. Well. Or not. Depending on how far you on the far you are in the book.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Another thing that we were when we started this that I was going to say is a little bit of the overprotected, overprotective mom or the protective mom. Right. Because Georgie in this book is a very protective mother to the point where you're kind of yelling at your, at your book, your Kindle, your audio, whatever it is, however it is you're reading a couple times you feel like she's a bit naive or. Right. You.

[B]

Yeah. But also I think there's a, a unique bond between a single mom and when they have one child, you know, just, it's just kind of like them versus the world. And for some reason, maybe not, but I always feel just maybe because my relationship with my mom, it's like, it's a different situation for like a single mom with like a son or like for my mom, like her firstborn son was kind of like she's, I, I know she's very protective of me and I'm protective of her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's being the first born son. So I feel like their relationship's almost different. It's like almost that. On steroids.

[A]

Yeah. Because that, because John's the oldest and then you have or oldest son, but you have both your sisters are older than you, so she had two girls and then she had her first son and then your brother. I have just my, my sister and then. And myself. But I. Your mom who if you're listening to this the day it comes out on the 17th, she just left us this morning. We had a really wonderful visit with her. She, we had Valentine's Day dinner with her. We took her to a fun event with a red carpet. We, she got to watch the Pickles Pickles. Pickles documentary that John executive produced about the team that he owns at a.

[B]

Watch party with a bunch of friends.

[A]

It was nice. Yeah. And that's. I, I, we. It was on the MLB Network and I'm sure it's available on demand. If you didn't watch it, you should definitely watch it. It's a great documentary and it's super fun and even if you're not really into sports, it's just a great fan and feel Good story. So wonderful visit with your mom and I have always. It's funny because the minute you say to somebody your mother in law is coming to visit, there's this sort of immediate, I don't know, old school kind of. Oh, the old mom in law, huh? Is coming. Right? And I think. I mean, you got along with both of your mother in laws. You have two from me. And I don't think you feel that way when my mom comes to visit. Right? Just.

[B]

No, of course not.

[A]

Okay, good. But one of my favorite things about your mom is how protective and what? She loves you like crazy and she's not taking any of anyone trying to glom on to you. I think her extra protect. She's protective of all of you and her grandkids and her husband who she lost way too young. But she's protective of those that she loves. I mean, talk. She's a serious mama bear. And. But she. I think you have a unique position because you were an athlete and were in a position where women could easily go, oh, this guy. I'm gonna. Here's my meal ticket. I mean, I did it, but I. The girls tried. You don't agree with that.

[B]

You succeeded.

[A]

But I thought about when we were. When we were talking about how Georgie is a protective mom and how she could. She would turn a blind, not a she. She was right. She's. Well, I don't want to say if she's right or not right. She's right about some things. Wrong about some things. Okay. But your mom is very protective of you with the women that you were with in the past. So much so that I'm not only her favorite, but I think the only one she's ever liked. Is that correct, John?

[B]

The only one. She's like. Since I've had any money. Yeah, she liked my high school girlfriend. But I mean her. My high school girlfriend and I was that bitch.

[A]

His name.

[B]

We were just like friends, you know, it was like not, you know. You know.

[A]

Yeah. There wasn't any high stakes.

[B]

Right. So since I've had a little bit of cash in the bank, she hasn't liked any of them because she could.

[A]

See through their nonsense.

[B]

She could really see through the nonsense. All of them. I mean, she had. I don't know if I told you the story. Maybe I shouldn't tell the story.

[A]

I think you should. But if you don't think you should, you definitely.

[B]

I was like hanging. Hanging out with this girl in Green Bay. Like, we were kind of like, I guess they say, seeing each other, but it was nothing serious whatsoever. And One. And then I, like, I left for the off season. I'm like, hey, like, bye. Like, we're good. And then she wasn't going to take that, so she called my mom and she found my mom's this back in the phone book. She found my mom's name in the phone book, called her and said, I'm pregnant with your son's child.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

Yes. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she wasn't your. Is. Is your point?

[B]

She wasn't.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But that's what she told my mom. And she's like, what are you gonna do about it? Blah, blah, blah. Mom's like, you're lying. I can see right through your. You're lying. And then she was. It went on for a while, and then I think eventually she called back like a couple days later. I can't remember the total details of it now, but she was like, oh, well, the abortion didn't take, and now it's twins. I was like, you're full of. Like, I'm not gonna tell my son to go back to Green Bay and date you because you're now pregnant with twins when you're not. When you're clearly not. I.

[A]

First of all, yes.

[B]

I thought I told you this story.

[A]

I. No, because there's no way I would forget someone saying that they tried to terminate a pregnancy and then came back with twins out of nowhere.

[B]

It was like real Days of our Lives type stuff.

[A]

Yeah. That is. So did. When she wrote your mom that she called.

[B]

My mom called my.

[A]

Sorry. Yeah.

[B]

On the landline. This is 2006.

[A]

Thank God we don't have phone books anymore.

[B]

7. Whatever.

[A]

So when she called your mom, had she tried this on you? Had she told you that she was. No. Now, did she.

[B]

I can't remember. I'll. I'll work out the All. The whole story for you and tell you later.

[A]

Now, you don't want to get too detailed in case.

[B]

No.

[A]

Sounds like something.

[B]

You get a call tonight saying she's pregnant again. Triplets this time. My God.

[A]

Oh. She's all the old ancestry, DNA, figuring out how she can. She can swindle. That is the. The idea of the. Listen, this is why I love this, though, because your mom. If your mom thought for a second that this woman was telling the truth, right? She would.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She'd be all over it. She'd be like, john, this is what you got to do. You got to do the right thing. You got to. Whatever that be for the two of you, however you guys figure it out. That's that. But the fact that this, this girl was so transparent that your mom was like, okay, honey, bye bye.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then she calls back with this desperate twist in the story.

[B]

Fast forward to like 15 years later. I have a friend in Green Bay. I thought I told you this too. He goes to play in a poker game with some buddies and she answers the door.

[A]

This part you told me, I didn't know that she had pulled the fake pregnancy thing. Okay. But go ahead, tell the rest of that.

[B]

No, that's the whole story. It's like, because he's like. He said he almost turned around and ran away. He was like, what? Like what? Like what? Like what's going on right now.

[A]

It's like I might be leaving here with like a child support case if I, if I, if I say hello to her too closely. Yeah.

[B]

I was like, did she have 15 year old twins beside her?

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, that is. Yeah. You don't mess with Barb Ryan.

[B]

No. She put that girl in her place. And she was correct.

[A]

She did the same with another one that was. That tried to claim. Claim your home as her own when she'd only been in there for like five minutes. I think we already told that story once before.

[B]

Yeah, but it's fine. Retell it was. It was a girl I was seeing and she was. Well, we wouldn't live together, but we were like. She was staying at my place for a couple months type thing. Like she was from Canada, so she couldn't live with me, but she was staying at my place a couple months and she got very upset, my mom, for calling it my house instead of our house.

[A]

Right. House.

[B]

Yeah. My mom wasn't putting up with any nonsense.

[A]

No. And it is good to have a protective mother. Everybody wants a Georgie in their life, I think.

[B]

And she's also, if you're hearing this, she's also like the sweetest woman in the world. So it's not like, oh, yeah, I.

[A]

Think I, I think I made that clear. She's the best. She's like, she's, she's, as the kids say, she's a good hang. She's a lot of fun.

[B]

How they say now a good hang.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know if people say that. Mary as a lot. I know some of you are crossovers from Are you? My podcast, Mary Radzinski says that. And it always makes me laugh when she says it because she. A good hang.

[B]

Mary has the funniest sayings and they all seem like they're out of the 1940s, but she's made them, like, hip in the 2025, like, oh, he's a good egg. You know, like, she just has like all these, like, weird sayings that like, actually work, work. But it's like, no one said that in 70 years, Mary.

[A]

I know. That's why they're so good.

[B]

They are so good.

[A]

We were also talking.

[B]

That guy's a zero. She was like, zero. I love my favorite one.

[A]

I love when she calls someone zero, I guess a zero. A zilch. The other theme before we let you wonderful listeners go that I wanted to talk just to touch on, because I think we'll get into it more next week when we talk about the actual full book, but. Because I don't want to give too much away, but when you are friends with a couple and you think this couple has this amazing marriage, or even if it's the opposite, right. Even if it's that you think they have a bad marriage. But when your perception of a couple's marriage is completely different.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Than what it actually is, I find that to be. That's happened to me once.

[B]

Really? I can think of one too, but.

[A]

Yeah, you can. What's your. How did it make you feel?

[B]

Like, awfully. I was stunned by this. I. There was like. I was friends. You don't know this person, but I was friends with this person. And she was probably like 20 years old. She's probably like late 40s, early 50s. She went on a date with this guy and just like the date lasts like 12 hours. She's like, so in love, blah, blah, blah. They have this great. They're fun couple to hang out with. They love each other, they get married. They're married for like seven, eight years. She finds out the entire time he's had the same situation going on in another city the entire time.

[A]

Wait, another marriage?

[B]

I don't know if it's a marriage, but it was a relation, a long term relationship with the same person for longer than they had been together in another city.

[A]

How did she find out?

[B]

I don't know. I don't remember. But she found out she had, you know, a little bit different. Like, she ended up moving to, like, basically like, he picked her and they stayed together.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, it was kind of like, okay, like one or the other. And she picked. He picked her and they stayed together.

[A]

I just want you to know that if you did something like that, there's no one or the other. There's no. You can go be with you too Girl, get your out of.

[B]

There's some guy living in. What other cities do you go to? Some guy living in Tacoma that I don't know about. If I'm about to meet some guy in Enum Claw in a week or so, I go, I'll say, how about it, hos? It's over between us.

[A]

Yeah, well, we can joke about it because it's not going to happen. Wring your neck with my bare hands. But that is. That. That I don't know. So. But we do have a really good friend. I have a really good friend who John has become friends with and her rel. She. We were both at their wedding and they. She. She got married a bit later in life, like I did. Right in her 40s.

[B]

Now I know who you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna over identify.

[B]

No.

[A]

But she. This guy just. He was so sweet and he seemed so caring and so it was just like, oh, this is. This is the person that she deserves. This is a guy who just gets her and is lovely to her. And.

[B]

And once they. Once they met, it happened pretty quickly.

[A]

It did. It did. Yeah, they. Yeah, they were. They were. It was like hot and heavy pretty quickly and then. And not in a alarming way at all. It was like, oh, these are. These, this. They. They found each other. That was kind of the overall consensus from all of us. All of her friends. Nobody saw this coming. And then one day he just. Just leaves. Just leaves.

[B]

Like that vanishes.

[A]

Vanishes. Won't answer her phone calls, Won't tell her where he is. Won't respond to anything to the point where then when she would. Of course at first she's worried, but then when she starts to realize he's just a monster, I guess is the best way to say somebody like this, because nobody deserves that, specifically, not this person. But once she realized that she. Then she just wanted him to get him divorce papers. And she was. I mean, let's be honest, she was. She was floating him probably most of their marriage financially. She was. I shouldn't say floating him. In her mind, she was. It. You would say that she was the one that was supporting them in the marriage financially over probably mostly. But also now we know she was floating him because he was probably just a user. Right. But he. She just wouldn't be able to get him divorce papers and he wouldn't respond to that. And then even his own family was calling her and asking her where he was, and she was like, oh, I guess you don't know, but he left me and won't answer my phone calls. So if you guys could get in touch with him, that would be fudgeing great, because I have a divorce to be had. Here it was when she told me that when I found out, it was so bizarre and the. The weirdest little nugget that won't. There was a moment where he. We had an event and he showed up at it and she wasn't with him, and this is before this happened, but she wasn't feeling well, so she wasn't there. She just was sick or, you know, something. And. And I remember thinking he was acting very bizarre and he was kind of complaining about her being sick to us. And we were like, I mean, she's got the flu, dude. Like, what's your beef? You know, it was sort of just this weird thing and. But she was kind of com. He was complaining about her to us. And I remember I wrote our. One of our mutual friends a couple days later and I was like, hey, didn't you. I don't know if you spoke to X, Y and Z, but he was behaving strangely and. And was kind of complaining about our friends at our own party. And this seemed weird. And. And then I think, like, maybe two days later, she's like, well, suspicions confirmed that he was not just acting weird, but acting real weird because he apparently vanished. So that was. I mean, that's way different than what happened in the new wife in this marriage situation. But again, when you think your friends have a certain marriage or your friend has a certain marriage and this whole other life comes out, you're just.

[B]

What I remember. I remember this is a relationship thing. But I remember my very first road trip when I was a freshman in college football and coming back, going out for dinner. So I'll come back to the hotel and some. One of the guys on the team was like, with this girl, like in the hotel bar or something. I said, the guy. I'm like, dude, like, that guy has a girlfriend. What is he doing? Like, shut the fuck up. Like, bro, you don't know what you're talking about. Like, kind of like fall in, bud. Yeah, this is what we do here.

[A]

Yeah, you don't do that. You don't do that. John doesn't fall in. He'll call your out.

[B]

A matter of fact, if all my teammates weren't cheating, then I would cheat because I ain't falling into that weird.

[A]

Weird take, weird take. I know you're just kidding.

[B]

It made me uncomfortable. You didn't Laugh at that. Really, really, really uncomfortable.

[A]

I know you're joking. It's okay. Well, we're gonna end on that note. Just kidding. We are gonna end on that note, though, just because. That's it for today. That's your week three February book list. But this was a fun conversation. It's so fun when I don't even really know what stories you're gonna end up telling me. I like that. So, guys, next week is the full review of the New Wife by Sue Watson. We have thoughts, questions, answers, hot takes, not so hot takes. I thought it was a great book. I really enjoyed it. I know a lot of you did too. And either way, it's going to be a really fun discussion. Even if it wasn't your cup of tea. Who cares? That's. That's part of the book club. So we're going to have a really fun discussion. Yeah. Next week. And then don't forget that what Alice forgot will be your March read by Leanne Mor. Is it Leanne or Leanne? I keep.

[B]

I would say Leanne.

[A]

It's like I should be able to say words at this point in my life, but Leanne Moray already. So that is your March book list breed if you need to hop on a library list or grab it while you can, whatever the situation is, however you read your or listen to your books and follow us. Go to Patreon if you want bonus content. And oh yeah, John, you just mentioned in March we're going to be in Enumclaw and Everett. Everett on the 14th, Enumclaw on the 15th. In John's going to be with me for all the meet and greets. It's going to be super fun shows. Those are stand up shows in case anyone's like, I'm new here, I don't know what you do. I do stand up comedy and I'm really funny.

[B]

The Everett Theater and the Enumclaw Chalet and the tickets are at either of those theaters websites or@Sarah Colona.com.

[A]

Oh, thank you. He's like my PR person. And if you're watching this, you know that John's wearing a pickles hat. So go look at. Go watch Pickles. Pickles. Pickles on Demand on the MLB Network if you didn't catch it this past Saturday. And thank you for listening.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

The book list, the book Lisp. The book list.

[B]

The book lisp.

[A]

The book lisp.