The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna

Episode: Plus None
Date: September 1, 2025

Overview

In this lively and humorous episode of The Book Lisp, wedded hosts Jon Ryan (NFL Super Bowl Champion, lover of romance novels) and Sarah Colonna (Comedian and actress, psychological thriller enthusiast) kick off the September book cycle. They announce the October book selection, reminisce about their own wedding experiences, and launch into a candid, entertaining discussion on all things weddings: destination dramas, plus-one etiquette, awkward nuptials, and the joys (and pitfalls) of celebrating love.

This episode does not feature a review or spoilers for their current book ("The Wedding People")—instead, it’s a wedding-themed free-for-all inspired by the book’s premise.

Main Points & Discussion

1. Housekeeping and Announcements

• Taxes & Business Ownership Tangent (00:25–02:04)
  • Jon laments the complexity of taxes as a business owner; Sarah commiserates.
  • “Our taxes aren’t late. We’re business owners. Our taxes aren’t due till mid October, people. So.” — Jon (01:16)
• Patreon and Shows Plug (02:04–03:43)
  • $5/month Patreon for short stories and extra content.
  • Sarah plugs upcoming standup dates (The Woodlands, Tacoma, Spokane).

2. October Book Announcement

• New Book Pick: The Good Lie by A. R. Tori (03:43–05:35)
  • Sarah describes the selection process: “Do you want, like, a domestic thriller… or dead bodies in an attic… or a serial killer?”
  • Jon nixes the dead bodies; serial killer wins out.

3. The “No Spoilers” Approach & Episode Theme

• No Plot Details (05:35–06:16)
  • No spoilers for “The Wedding People” until the 4th week of the month.
  • This episode: “We’re just going to have a little fun there. A light hearted talk because we pick topics from the book to then make into our podcast.” — Sarah

Weddings: An Honest, Unfiltered Deep-Dive

Weddings in Canada vs. US

• Drinks at Canadian Weddings (06:16–09:16)
  • Jon educates Sarah on the “toonie bar” ($2 drinks in Canada) compared to expensive open bars in the US.
  • “Most weddings I’ve gone to are a two dollar—even Brett’s wedding the other day, it was a three dollar bar.” — Jon (07:45)
  • Alcohol (and cigarettes) are heavily taxed in Canada to fund social healthcare.
  • “Alcohol is very expensive in Canada. It’s like at least twice as expensive in Canada for alcohol. It’s ridiculous.” — Jon (08:16)

Wedding Crashers & Unexpected Guests

• Their Own Wedding Antics (09:16–10:21)
  • Jon recalls friends bringing “randos” to their Mexico wedding party:
    • “When you have freaking friends like we do… and they bring a date that they met the night before at the bar to my wedding. In macabre (Cabo). Inappropriate!” — Jon (09:40)
    • Sarah laughs it off: “I said to the late. I’m like, whatever… just let him have a drink. I don’t care. It was funny and made me laugh.” — Sarah (10:08)

Destination Weddings: Logistics & Gripes

• Why They Chose Cabo (10:21–11:45)

  • With family and friends scattered everywhere, any wedding would be a “destination wedding.”
  • “Sarah and I weren’t even living in the same state at the time. I was living…” — Jon (10:45)
  • They offered options and did a second party in Saskatchewan for those who couldn't travel.
  • “So shut up about the destination wedding.” — Jon (11:47)

• Cost for Bridesmaids/Groomsmen (11:54–14:22)

  • Many are out thousands of dollars for dresses, trips, and gifts.
  • Sarah’s small business “Clutch Women” gets inundated with requests for free wedding swag.
  • “If you fulfilled all the requests for free stuff you’ve gotten, you’d be out of business.” — Jon (13:12)
  • Jon’s sister had to take out a loan to attend a wedding that ended in divorce before the loan was paid off.

Wedding Officiant Anxiety & Legal Tricks

• Destination Ceremonies & “Fake” Weddings (15:00–16:52)
  • Jon is about to officiate a friend’s wedding in Austria: “I’m kind of nervous about the officiating thing.”
  • Most destination weddings aren't “legal” — theirs was a ceremony after a courthouse signing.
  • “If you get married in Mexico… we had to get STD tests… we had to get married in Spanish…” — Jon (16:23)

Wedding Planning Lessons

• RSVPs & Plus-One Drama (17:54–20:46)

  • Jon rails against late RSVPs and unjustified plus-ones:
    • “Some people got a plus one. My buddy Logan, he doesn’t need a fucking plus one.” — Jon (17:54)
    • “For us, it was about $1,000 a person.”
  • Sarah: “It's not about making someone feel bad for not having someone… but not bringing like a date when it's Mexico and you're hanging out with like your closest friends and family in the pools.”

• Single Guests: Blessing or Curse (20:46–22:16)

  • Jon: “By not having a plus one... we were doing them a favor. You don’t want to bring an outsider and feel like you have to entertain them all night.”
  • “Terry wouldn’t have got to make out with my stepsister.” — Sarah (20:49)

Wedding Social Dynamics

• How Friends & Families Bond (22:16–23:00)
  • Friends from different backgrounds remain connected because of the wedding.
  • “Lindsay and Mal got to be good friends with Greg… my sister still, like, send them stuff on Facebook.” — Jon

Honoring Parent Tech Support

• Sarah’s Mom and Hulu Fandango (23:03–25:08)
  • Comedic tangent about Sarah’s mom befuddled by streaming, missing cable boxes, and “the cloud.”
  • “After I retired, I decided I'm not learning anything new.” — Sarah, quoting her mom (23:17)
  • Jon: “I’m going to take a shoebox, put an extension cord in the back... and just tell her, plug that fucking thing into the wall. There it is, mom, there’s a Hulu box.” (24:55)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Nicknames & Self-Branding (25:16–26:58)
  • Logan, their friend, goes by "The Real Deal"—a nickname he gave himself in junior high and still uses.
  • “His nickname’s the Real Deal; he gave it to himself, and now it’s stuck for 30 years.” — Jon (26:52)
• Sports Illustrated Dreams (27:08–28:13)
  • Jon shares his dreams of being in the magazine—though his first appearance was the low point of his career, not a highlight.
  • “I get a punt blocked and they score a touchdown. And it’s in that section. Dream to be in there… and it’s me getting a punt block.” — Jon (27:44)

Destination Wedding Anecdotes

• Three Weddings in a Month (29:06–31:06)

  • “We had three weddings and they were back to back… and they were all destination weddings.” — Jon (29:06)
  • “If you’re having a destination wedding, you can’t be offended by someone that can’t go, and you can’t guilt someone into doing it to where they have to take out a loan.” — Sarah (29:47)

• Soggy Dollar Bar—Living Out Novel Fantasies (30:12–31:16)

  • Jon’s excitement over visiting Soggy Dollar Bar from Elin Hilderbrand novels.

COVID Wedding Travel Woes

• Pandemic Complications (33:49–36:27)
  • “It felt like—take a cab to the COVID place. Come back. Now take a cab to the ferry. Take a ferry to there. Take a cab to the beach… it was just like, never ending.” — Jon (34:03)
  • “I did my sexy FaceTime deeper COVID test with the lady…” — Sarah (36:25)

Can You Tell They Won't Make It?

• Weddings Destined for Divorce (36:51–39:05)

  • Jon: “I went to a family member, a cousin’s wedding, and they were pretty young, and I was just like…the bride just being blackout drunk…You’re just like, this has absolutely no shot of making it.”
  • “They walked all the way down the aisle. Just absolutely zero emotion, other than looking angry.” — Jon (37:43)

• The Myth of Wedding Objections (39:31–39:54)

  • Jon clarifies: “You can’t object unless…that person’s actually married in another state. But you can’t just be like, ‘I’m still in love with them.’”
  • Soap opera tropes are not real-life protocol.

Pop Culture & Soap Operas

• General Hospital & Daytime Drama (40:02–42:15)
  • Sarah stans for General Hospital, shares her own experience acting on Days of Our Lives:
    • “I did two episodes of Days of Our Lives that played two different characters because they said, no one’s gonna remember your first one.” — Sarah (41:30)
  • Jon is stunned by the work that goes into soap opera production.

Final Thoughts & Practical Tips

• Destination Wedding Survival & Gift Advice (42:23–44:46)

  • Always pick weddings you want to go to if you think the couple won’t last—at least you'll get a vacation in!
  • “Always get them a gift that’s separable…so they can each take three (cups) when they get divorced. Don’t give them a vacuum cleaner.” — Jon (43:14)
  • For destination weddings, gifts aren’t expected due to travel costs.

• Book Club Preview & Patreon Shoutout (44:46–45:05)

  • Next up: “The Good Lie” by AR Tori
  • Short stories available on Patreon; recent favorite author: Fredrik Backman.

Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

• “Alcohol is very expensive in Canada. It’s like at least twice as expensive in Canada for alcohol. It’s ridiculous.” – Jon (08:16)
• “For us, it was about $1,000 a person. I think more than that for each person we had there.” – Jon (18:20)
• “Terry wouldn’t have got to make out with my stepsister.” – Sarah (20:49)
• “After I retired, I decided I’m not learning anything new.” – Sarah quoting her mom (23:17)
• “His nickname’s the Real Deal; he gave it to himself and now it’s stuck for 30 years.” – Jon (26:52)
• “If you’re having a destination wedding, you can’t be offended by someone that can’t go, and you can’t guilt someone into doing it to where they have to take out a loan. It’s not right.” – Sarah (29:47)
• “By not having a plus one…we were doing them a favor.” – Jon (20:46)
• “Always get them a gift that’s separable…when they get divorced, they can each take three.” – Jon (43:14)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Taxes and Patreon/Shout-outs: 00:25–03:43
• Book Announcement: 03:43–05:35
• Intro to Wedding Topics: 05:35–06:16
• Drinks at Weddings (Canada vs US): 06:16–09:16
• Wedding guests and etiquette: 09:16–14:22
• Officiating/Wedding bureaucracy: 15:00–16:52
• RSVP & Plus-One Lessons: 17:54–20:46
• Wedding Friends & Bonding: 22:16–23:00
• Sarah’s Mom & Streaming Tech: 23:03–25:08
• Nicknames, Sports Illustrated Anecdotes: 25:16–28:13
• Destination Wedding Stories: 29:06–31:16
• COVID Wedding Travel Memories: 33:49–36:27
• Weddings Destined for Divorce: 36:51–39:05
• Soap Opera Tangent: 40:02–42:15
• Final Wedding & Gift Thoughts: 42:23–44:46

Tone & Style

• Conversational and irreverent; candid, personal stories peppered with playful ribbing.
• Fully in tune with the real-life chaos, awkwardness, and joy of weddings.
• Fans of their banter, bookworms, and the wedding-worn alike will find plenty to laugh at—and relate to.

Next read: The Good Lie, AR Tori.
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