Single and Ready (Not) to Mingle

Summary

Summary of "Single and Ready (Not) to Mingle" on The Book Lisp

Podcast: The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Episode: Single and Ready (Not) to Mingle
Release Date: February 3, 2025

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Introduction and Podcast Milestone

In this milestone episode, hosts Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna celebrate the fourth month of "The Book Lisp." They reflect on their journey since November, discussing the evolution of their podcast setup and expressing excitement about future recordings.

Sarah Colonna [00:27]: "This is our fourth month. That's exciting."

John Ryan [00:56]: "Those of you that are watching, you can sign. See Sarah's sign behind her. Her neon sign says, 'Are You My Podcast,' which is her other podcast."

Book Discussion: The New Wife by Sue Watson

The central focus of the episode is their review of Sue Watson's The New Wife. Both hosts share their initial impressions, highlighting the book's unpredictable twists and deep character development. While the book has received mixed feedback from their audience, Sarah emphasizes her enjoyment and appreciation for its complexity.

Sarah Colonna [02:03]: "I liked it. It's my first time reading her... it's a good book. It's just a mixed bag."

John Ryan [02:55]: "It's twisty, a lot of twists and turns."

They discuss specific elements that captivated them, such as the protagonist Georgia's multifaceted relationships and the seamless integration of personal anecdotes within the narrative.

Personal Reflections on Singleness and Relationships

Jon and Sarah delve into their personal experiences regarding singleness and marriage, drawing parallels with the book's themes. They explore societal expectations, familial pressures, and the emotional nuances of being the single friend amidst a sea of coupled individuals.

Sarah Colonna [16:21]: "I never found anybody that I wanted to marry until John."

John Ryan [16:19]: "Being single on the front side is sadder than being single on the backside."

Sarah shares heartfelt stories about her late father and supportive mother, illustrating the complexities of blending traditional values with modern relationship dynamics.

Navigating Social Situations as the Single Friend

The conversation shifts to the challenges of attending social gatherings where everyone else is paired up. Sarah references her character Georgia from The New Wife, who often finds herself navigating events alone, highlighting both the emotional and social implications.

Sarah Colonna [25:48]: "Being the single person at a wedding... Georgie is always included."

John Ryan [32:27]: "99% of the time. It's not sad for anybody. So leave that part out."

They discuss strategies for inclusivity, emphasizing the importance of genuine invitations and understanding the emotional state of single individuals attending events.

Balancing Alone Time and Social Life

Jon and Sarah share their vacation preferences, emphasizing the value they place on alone time and reading, contrasting with more active or adventure-based trips. This segment underscores the importance of personal space within relationships and how it contributes to their bond.

Sarah Colonna [40:13]: "We both really like to read on vacation. I will blow through a book a day."

John Ryan [37:19]: "Don't mess with me and Sarah... We are not activity people."

They humorously discuss their synergistic vacation habits, balancing relaxation with mutual respect for each other's need for solitude.

Reflections on Grief and Inclusion

The hosts touch on the sensitive topic of grief and how it affects social invitations. Sarah recounts an incident involving her stepmom being denied a single occupancy rate for a cruise, highlighting societal insensitivity towards widowed individuals.

Sarah Colonna [44:05]: "She has to pay for two people."

John Ryan [44:46]: "They have to pay for double occupancy... there should be something where you may have to pay a little more for a room by yourself, but you should have paid double."

This segment underscores the emotional challenges faced by widowed individuals and the importance of thoughtful inclusivity from friends and service providers alike.

Upcoming Content and March Book Announcement

Concluding the episode, Jon and Sarah announce their upcoming March book, What Alice Forgot by Leanne Moriarty. They also promote their Patreon page, offering exclusive bonus content for subscribers, including additional discussions and short story reviews.

Sarah Colonna [46:08]: "Our March book is 'What Alice Forgot' by Leanne Moriarty."

John Ryan [46:27]: "That's probably Leanne, right?"

They encourage listeners to join their Patreon community for enriched content and continued engagement with their Book List Spinners group.

Conclusion

Jon and Sarah wrap up the episode by reiterating their commitment to providing insightful and relatable content. They share their appreciation for their listeners and express enthusiasm for future episodes and book discussions.

Sarah Colonna [47:23]: "Join us on Patreon if you'd like... The Book Lisp."

John Ryan [47:28]: "The Book Lisp."

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This episode offers a blend of book analysis and personal anecdotes, providing listeners with both literary insights and relatable life experiences. Through candid conversations, Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna explore the multifaceted nature of relationships, singleness, and the journey of finding the right partner, all while fostering a supportive community through their podcast.

Transcript

[Sarah Colonna]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.

[John Ryan]

And I'm John Ryan.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.

[John Ryan]

The Book Lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Oh, hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. I'm Sarah.

[John Ryan]

This is John Ryan, her husband.

[Sarah Colonna]

I always just really like getting excited to see you after I just left the same room that you were in and went into my room to start recording. How are you, John?

[John Ryan]

Good. How you doing?

[Sarah Colonna]

Good. This is week one of the February book list. We've been at this now since November. November. December.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. This would be our fourth month. Right, Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

This is our fourth month. That's exciting. I feel like you're gonna. You're gonna have to get me a new sign for buying.

[John Ryan]

I think so. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Those of you that are watching, you can sign. See Sarah's sign behind her. Her neon sign says, are you my podcast, which is her other podcast.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's my other podcast, but I don't have a book list podcast sign yet. And we're also thinking maybe we'll be able to get some kind of little thing where we can sit in the same room again, like we did in November, or November and December, but we have to work that out. Anyway, thanks for being here. It is week one of February, which means we are all reading or have. Some of you have already read, and I've been seeing your feedback on the New Wife by Sue Watson.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes, you can watch it. I know. I know you're really liking it, which I'm glad a lot of people are really liking it. There was a couple people that said it wasn't. They're as good as December's, which. It's a tough one to top on a quiet street. It really is.

[John Ryan]

Well, this one has candy corn in.

[Sarah Colonna]

Does have candy corn.

[John Ryan]

No, babe, you're supposed to say, they can all be winners, kid.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh.

[John Ryan]

Oh, I did Bad Santa. L. I teed it up for you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God.

[John Ryan]

This one has candy corn in it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Can't all be winners, kid.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, There you go.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Thank you. I can't believe I missed that reference, because that's a movie that John and I have watched together probably a thousand times.

[John Ryan]

And reference. Reference daily.

[Sarah Colonna]

We do reference it daily. It's funny how things work out, isn't it?

[John Ryan]

Hilarious.

[Sarah Colonna]

So I was like, candy corn. Yeah. Anyway, really pissed me off. They can't all be winners, kid. It is a winner, though. It's a good book. It's a good book. It's just, I. We had a lot of. There's a lot of other people that are enjoying it. It's. It's. It's a mixed bag. Everything is. And there was. It's always going to be that way with the book club, but I know.

[John Ryan]

It'S twisty, a lot of twists and turns.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. You know what I like about this one is I didn't have it figured out at all. And sometimes I. I do. I. I started to. A little bit more towards the end, but still not like it. I started going, oh, okay, there's still time. You and I talked about this when something came up. There was still enough book left where there was no way it wasn't gonna.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, it was going the way I thought it was gonna go. And then it went that way and there was still 20 of the book left because reading on my kiddo said, like, 20. I'm like, okay, now it's gonna turn again.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. So I like that a lot about it. I liked it. It's my first time reading her. And I did pick this book before I read it, which is an interesting way to do it because sometimes, like, John's picked all ones that he already knew he really liked. I already knew I really liked. On a quiet street I. My next one, I think, is going to be one that I really liked, but we're not going to talk about that yet. We're going to tell them. Go ahead and tell everybody what the March book is, just in case they missed that announcement on our Instagram and our Facebook page. The book list spinners, you can join that. And there's a running tally of books. Go ahead.

[John Ryan]

What Alice forgot. It's actually a recommendation from my sister. I've already read it. It's a really good book. I would like more recommendations from people because I get into a groove where I just, like, start reading. You know, I've read all 28 Ellen Hildebrand books or Jenkins Jenkins Reed's books or Colleen Hoover's book. I go down a rabbit hole and just read, like everyone. But I need. I am. I'm expanding, not expand. I have expanded my horizon. But sometimes it's just been so long ago that I've read those that I neither need an update on them or some trick suggestions going forward.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, it's funny because I did see someone had before. I don't think you saw this because John doesn't do a lot of Facebook, but. So I mostly run that group. But I tell him sometimes that When I or someone asks a question in there about if he's read something, I'll tell him or ask him and then answer. So again, join that group. But I did see someone say they had asked if you had mentioned Leanne Moriarty, who is. Who wrote what Alice forgot. Correct.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. And it's a bit. It's been around for a while.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. I want to say it's like, I don't know, I'm kind of guessing now. 10 years old.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, we're 2011. Something, I think is what it says.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's been a bit. It's been around for a little bit. So. Yes. What I like about that book, I think people.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I like that, that there's books that. Same with Seven Husbands. Last month's book, if you are behind at all or new to this January's, was the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. You can go listen. And people are revisiting books that maybe they've already read too. So that's kind of cool.

[John Ryan]

Do you ever like start reading a book and have to know what the author looks like?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh my gosh. I really don't ever think about that.

[John Ryan]

I do, I do. I was reading a book one time. It was like a self help book back in the day, like 15 years ago, I think. I was reading it and I got halfway through it. I went and looked at what the author looked like and I stopped reading it. Yeah, I couldn't read it. I couldn't even like, I was like, it was. I thought it was a woman author. And I was like, oh, I can relate to this. I feel like I relate to women. I found out it was like this dorky looking European dude and I was like, I can't read this anymore. I had to put it down and I cannot. I've tried to pick it up again. I just couldn't do it after who I found out was like just the picture. That's so rude. But I don't care. It's my time.

[Sarah Colonna]

It is your time and you can do with it what you want. Was it kind of a general self help or was it geared at something in particular?

[John Ryan]

No, it was. I must have been going through something because it was pretty specific like, like floating in the sky and you know, you know, not looking forward or backwards and you know, basically it just basically sounds like you're drunk or high all the time, which could happen.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sounds like maybe you were going through something with one of your ex, huh?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, most likely. But I went and looked up have.

[Sarah Colonna]

You read any self. Self looks, self help books since we've been together? Just curious.

[John Ryan]

Nope, I have not.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's right.

[John Ryan]

Stupid. So I went and looked what Sue Watson looked like. It's exactly what I thought she'd look like.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's funny, I was just about to google what she looks like because of you saying this. So this is again Sue Watson. Oh, yeah, she. She does. She looks like she'd just be reading this book to me. I think she's. Is she British? Yes, yes.

[John Ryan]

She's from Manchester.

[Sarah Colonna]

There we go.

[John Ryan]

The uk. But this is what she wrote about herself. Well, I hope she wrote about herself because it's kind of self deprecating. Originally from Manchester. Manchester. I can't say that word. She now lives with her family in leafy. Leafy. Worcestershire. How do you say that? Worcestershire.

[Sarah Colonna]

I mean, I say Worcestershire sauce, so I don't know if it's the same.

[John Ryan]

But it's very funny to describe a city as leafy. Where much of her day is spent writing and procrastinating. Her hobby is eating cake while watching her diet and exercise programs from the sofa, a skill she's perfected after many years of practice.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sue Watson sounds like me. Sounds like I could have just written this about myself other than leafy. Wow, that's funny. Yeah. She just looks like a nice lady who you'd want her to read her. She has another one coming out too that looks good. But speaking of that, since you're saying mixing up, you get stuck on an author. Because I loved On a Quiet street so much that I've been obsessed with Seraphina Nova Glass. And then she did. They sent me her new book.

[John Ryan]

Oh.

[Sarah Colonna]

And I know. And I'm, It's. I'm kind of torn because I don't. I probably shouldn't do the same author that fast. And also I think it comes out this month or March. And I, I know that we. There's a lot of people that use the library that listen to this. So it's, it's, it's better to give them a book that's not brand new because those are harder to get grabbed. So we keep that in mind too. Anyway. But yeah, this was my first by Sue Watson and I'm definitely enjoying it.

[John Ryan]

I, I have really enjoyed it a lot. I think it's been great. It's. It's not necessarily my favorite, but it's really, really good.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. It's funny because as you know, we don't. If you're new here too, we don't do Spoilers on the books until the end, until week four. Week four is always the review discussion recap. Also speaking of that, so you can watch the full video on patreon exclusively. It's $5 a month. Just basically just pay our editors and stuff with it. So we're not trying to buy a new house. Don't worry, I already got one. Already got one. But we, but we're also doing extra content on there. So on the 5th, the 15th, John set a schedule because he likes the schedule because he a strict schedule. He has a strict training regimen from his days in the NFL and I have no schedule. So the 5th, the 15th and the 25th will always be bonus content on Patreon now. And that starts this month, February. So the 5th and the 25th are always going to be a little segment we call John and Sarah Hit Record. That is kind of us just usually we have a glass of wine and just start talking. And sometimes books come up, obviously and whatnot, but nothing that you would have to read along with for those. Just some fun extra content. And then on the 15th of every month, that's when we're going to be doing our short story reviews. So we've already done the sixth wedding. That was after 28 summers. And we did in January, we did the gift by Frida McFadden. Big Freedom McFadden fans here. And this, this month, February 15th, we're also doing another Frida McFadden short story because she wrote the Housemaid's Wedding. John said you already blew through it, Right? It's very quick.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I read it. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. So it's a quick read. And then even if you don't finish it by the 15th, you can just access that Patreon whenever you did finish it.

[John Ryan]

Let's talk about really quick. Even though not everyone here is on Patreon, but it's like a gap. It's a three book series and this kind of fills in the gap between second book and the third book. But after I read it, I don't, I think it just, it can stand alone as well. So if you haven't read the other ones, you can just read that. I think it stands alone.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. So even. Yes. If you're not on Patreon and you just want to read something that we're suggesting, we like Frida. And that's a nice short story to fill in your time. I think a lot of you read the Housemates, from what I see on Goodreads, where we're on now and whatnot. So there you go, that's a little info about what's going on and to keep up with if you're keeping a list of what you got to read. So we were talking about. What we like to do is have conversations sort of off of topics in the book that won't give away spoilers. And one of the. This comes out very quickly and it's a. It's not a spoiler, even if it didn't. But one of the main themes of this book is that the. The characters are. There's one. Oh, my gosh. What's the main character's name?

[John Ryan]

Is it Sam?

[Sarah Colonna]

Is her. No, the mom.

[John Ryan]

Georgia. Georgia. Georgie.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, goodness. I was stressed out for a second. Yeah. So Sam is her son. And so Georgia is single. And I. And well, that comes out later. More about her husband. But she had her best friends. The. What are their names, Babe, we should have prepped better. Well, I'm just. It's my. I have so many names floating in my head and that's.

[John Ryan]

So it's. It's Laura, Lauren. Her boyfriend or husband. Lauren. And her parents are Helen and Tim.

[Sarah Colonna]

Helen and Tim. Him.

[John Ryan]

And the sister's Katie. And the best friend is Sadie. And I totally. I totally forget their last name.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah. Well, I. I know because she always is. Like, we called our. Ourselves the Jack Moores. The Jack.

[John Ryan]

Oh, right. The Jacksons.

[Sarah Colonna]

So the Jacksons. And her last name is more.

[John Ryan]

Something more.

[Sarah Colonna]

So she. They. They basically just. Just so you know that we did read this book, but we've already read it and so we've moved on. Characters, names actually float around in my head and then leave it and then come back. But so Georgia is. Or Georgie. Is it Georgie or Georgia?

[John Ryan]

They go both back and forth.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do they really?

[John Ryan]

I thought that her friend called like Georgie, like, kind of like almost like a pet, like, you know.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah, Friend name.

[John Ryan]

Like Georgie.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, we'll just call her Georgie then. So she's single and she's friends with them. And a lot of the book kind of follows and refers to how she spent all her holidays with them. She. They kind of take her under her wing. She's their buddy. She's their single buddy. Right. And Tim has been like a second father to Sam or almost a first father because we don't really ever hear about her. His biological father, except later on, and we hear he's kind of an asshole, blah, blah, blah. But so we thought it would be interesting to talk about because both John and I. I didn't get married until we. I was 40. John, you were only 33. Yeah, but we consider that I could I, I say it later in life that I got married just because I grew up in the South. So a lot of people get married younger where I'm from, in a small town, it's just.

[John Ryan]

And, and where I'm from in the north, too, it's pretty common to, you know, either get out of college or get out of high school and get married.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, it's just common.

[John Ryan]

My mom was 18 when she got married. My dad was 21.

[Sarah Colonna]

Scandalous.

[John Ryan]

He was 18.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, I'm just kidding. But he was an older man too. No, three years. But yeah, people, it's. It's common. And I think I. There's a big shift in that. I don't. I think all over now. And I think including in, in smaller towns and, and places like where I grew up, I think people are waiting a little bit longer because people are either not just more career focused. I don't really think. It's just that even though I think it's part of it, but they're also just a little more like realizing it doesn't work for everyone. Right. Like realizing, oh, you want to. And listen, two of John knows. Two of my best friends from college got married during. Right. When? Before they graduated college. They're together. They're one of the best couples we know.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. I really believe that you find your person when you find your person, you know, so if I looked at my parents, they got married at 18 and 21. And my mom always says, like, thank God I got married at 18 because my husband passed when I was 51 years old. So thank God I got to spend that time with him. And I didn't wait till I was 40 to find someone because I. What I knew I found my person at 18. That's when I found my person.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. Yes.

[John Ryan]

So I can understand. Some people are like, I'm going to wait. Been making a conscious effort to wait, and I think that's totally fine. But I just think you find your person when you find your person.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. And I think sometimes, you know, sometimes, you don't. Sometimes you get married younger and then you get a divorce, and that's fine, too. What, Whatever. Everyone has their own. But I do think it's a little more common now for people to go, oh, maybe it's better to wait because I. You change so much over the years and you're more financially stable at an older age.

[John Ryan]

You. You know what? You want more.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

You're more secure in Your job, you have a lot less stress, I think, in a way.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. And, and things factor in. People wanting children obviously is a big factor. If, if, if you're wanting to start a family, then you need to be a little more focused on finding the right match for you at, at a certain time in your life. So there's all these factors, but I just never, I never found anybody that I wanted to marry until John. So that was that. It was not really a question. And my family was. They didn't really give me a hard time about it. I was kind of. My mom is as sort of traditional in some ways and that she can be. She was really. I don't know if she just gave up on me in a way and I don't mean that in a negative way, but because she's my mom. When I first moved out here and then 10 years later when I was still bartending and I felt like, oh no, what have I done? And I called her really depressed one day. She was the one that was like, get your shit together because you didn't move out all the way out there just to come home. And, and she said it in the sweetest way possible. She said it in the money. She didn't say get your shit together. I'm just paraphrasing because it's easier because it was really sweet. So she's always been supportive of all of that and she never really, you know, she doesn't care that we don't have kids. She is very excited to have three grand cats.

[John Ryan]

She's probably more excited than that than, than if we had kids.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's true. I think for her, she, since my, my sister had my nephew, she was like, okay, I have a grandkid, so yeah, I'm all set so that my mom has 12.

[John Ryan]

So she's never bothered us whatsoever.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, she's probably.

[John Ryan]

The other day she actually goes, I. It's never bothered me whatsoever. I'm actually kind of like the change of pace of having three grandkids now.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, she calls them her grandkats too.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And, and yeah, your mom was probably like, please marry some older that likely won't have kids because I don't need any more grandkids running around. 12. She's got 12. What she said, Wow. I just like to make things up. She's coming to visit us for the weekend of Valentine's Day.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

We're going to a romantic dinner on Valentine's Day, me, John and his mom. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love her.

[John Ryan]

Thank you. Early dinner, 5:00.

[Sarah Colonna]

5:00. Be home by 7. Anyway, so we were talking about what it's like to. Because I didn't get married Till I was 40. And for John, even though he was only 33, playing in the NFL. You're around a lot of people who are married and have young families, right?

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And we thought it might be fun to just discuss a little bit of that. We were. What's it like to be the Georgie that is always invited to the holiday dinners or the single friends givings or the this? And then that one story I was thinking of though, that it's along the lines, but it just made me laugh because I didn't realize it until the other day. I was. I was. I joined Ancestry.com. did I tell you this?

[John Ryan]

No.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, well, because I was on 23andMe and I guess maybe like not many people my. That are related to me are on there.

[John Ryan]

So I think I did that too early. I did too early on because it's like, you're from Ireland. I'm like, yeah, no, yeah. Everyone for your whole family's from Ireland. Like. Yeah, good.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Mine was kind of confusing and it was like more European but not Italian. I don't know. It was. It was a little confusing. And then I joined Ancestry now there, there. I ordered the DNA kit, so I haven't gotten that yet to find out my breakdown to see if 23andMe was accurate. So keep you guys posted. But I joined it because my. My father passed away. He was kind of bad about keeping sort of up with his family ties and roots. And nobody in my family has really been big on that. We're very close as a family, but we're not big on like the history of our family.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Or knowledgeable on it. So when. Long story short, when I was performing in Tacoma a couple years ago, I met a relative and we thought his name was Tony Colonna. He came to my comedy show. It was all very random, but he. We talked and it ended up that his dad was my grandfather's brother, so my grandpa was his uncle. So he. We were close. Yeah. More closely related than we even anticipated when he approached me. And then I just found out that he passed away. So I just got a little curious about all that stuff because he was kind of going back and forth with me a little bit on emails and giving me some information and now he's gone. So in that my. This is a long way to get to where I'm going. Sorry. But in that I, it's crazy. They, they find your grandparents pretty much right away, they were like, it was your grandparent, Hubert H. Morgan. And I went, what? Yeah, click. I mean, that's weird. And it adds it to your family tree.

[John Ryan]

Is that, like, before you sent anything in or how do you send something in already?

[Sarah Colonna]

I hadn't sent anything. I haven't gotten the kit yet. I just put in my name, my birth date, and then my dad and, and his birth date. And so somebody had linked him to somebody. But this was my mom's. Graham. My mom's dad.

[John Ryan]

Right, right. The Morgan.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And she hasn't been on there, so I don't really know. But they got. He came up. Well, it said his wife was this woman, Mary Jo. Who is he married? Who's someone he married after my grandmother passed away, because she passed away pretty young. So I think maybe that woman had been on there. I, I don't know. Anyway, so I realized his obituary comes up, and I see that it said, you know what, you know who says they're survived by? Right? And it says, my mom, my stepdad, my sister, her husband. And then it says Sarah Colonna. And then it, in parentheses, it says Joe. And I was like, my, my grandpa's obituary has my ex boyfriend's name in it. And I thought that was so random. And I, I, I'm trying to remember back because my mom was in charge of the obituary because she worked at the funeral home, right? So I was trying to remember back, and I was thinking, did she ask me if I wanted his name put in this? So we were together at the time that my grandpa died, but we weren't getting married. That was clear for a long time. And we were probably pretty close to breaking up when my grandpa died. But the way it relates back to this is my point is it felt like someone just thought I needed to have a partner in the obituary.

[John Ryan]

Like they need. She needs a parentheses beside her name. Let's just throw her boyfriend in there.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's what it felt like when I looked back at it. I thought that was kind of interesting.

[John Ryan]

That is interesting. I want to tell another story about that time you found out about all these colonas, and they're going to all come to Tacoma to watch you perform. A whole group. There's like eight of them or something.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

And so they, they're coming to the late show. You don't know what they look like. You don't know who they are. We're sitting in the green room, and they come the manager comes in, he goes, we have to delay the show. Someone that waited in line was pretty drunk and they passed out in line waiting to get in. And I go, was it a Colona? Kind of joking. She goes, yeah, actually, their last name is Kelowna. I'm like, oh, my God, they are related. It's all coming together.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was really funny. It was the most random night ever. To be fair, it did turn out that that person was not drunk. They had smoked a lot of pot and it wasn't.

[John Ryan]

And they weren't. They hadn't eaten all day and they smoked a bunch of pot and they passed out, like, hit their head or something.

[Sarah Colonna]

And it wasn't a Colona. He was his best friend. He was with him, though, so he was part of the Kelowna party, as one would imagine. But it was pretty amazing. And I was so sad that my dad was gone that I couldn't tell him that story because he would have gotten quite a kick out of the entire thing. But that was the first thing that I thought of as being a single person in a situation where everyone else has a partner. And so someone just kind of assigned a parentheses to my name, even though he was really my boyfriend and we were living together. So I guess my mom thought that was the right thing to do. But looking back, it just seems weird.

[John Ryan]

Right?

[Sarah Colonna]

Another story I thought of. I actually wrote about this in my book, but it. It never gets old. And it's a little more fun to. To tell it while we talk about it, but being the single person at a wedding, you know, good old Georgie in the New Wife, she. She was the single person at her own son's wedding. And that's the first thing that happens in the book, so I'm not giving any spoilers away, but I was dating you. Remember when Evan and Gina got married, our friends from.

[John Ryan]

You weren't. You weren't dating me then. It was right before we started dating.

[Sarah Colonna]

I thought I was dating you because it was. We had started talking.

[John Ryan]

I don't think so. I think that chapter in the book starts off as you being single. And then you meet me after.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, because I. But it was. It was.

[John Ryan]

You want me to ask Evan when he got married?

[Sarah Colonna]

It was President's Day weekend, which is in February.

[John Ryan]

When's President's Day? I'm Canadian.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's in February.

[John Ryan]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you and I. I thought we were talking. We were talking.

[John Ryan]

We'll have to do a fact checking on this.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, well, if it wasn't, then, either way, I Was single. I thought we were just talking at that point, not dating. And I. So I didn't have a boyfriend. I went solo to this wedding. Either way, okay, if my timeline's messed up, doesn't really matter. Point of the story is John knows timelines better than I do. I went to this wedding by myself. I was in Florida. I mean, sorry, Texas. I did not bring a date. I didn't try to bring a friend. I just went by myself. And I was a little bit nervous about it because I knew that I wasn't going to know a lot of people there. Evan and I had met because he's a sports editor. Sports writer as well. My dad was a sports editor. Evan worked at the Dallas Morning News, and he's a big baseball writer. He knows I'm a big baseball fan. We've become friends, really, through social media. And his wife's lovely and amazing. I was so nervous about this. I get there. Not one person asked me who I was dating, why I wasn't with anybody. Nobody said, oh, is your hubby not around tonight? Is your boyfriend not around? Is your girlfriend not around? Not one person. Now, Evan and Gina were older. They had known each other for a very long time. A long time ago. I think high school reconnected. So they got married. They were Both in their 40s or close to it when they got married. So I kind of connected that with the. Most of the people around me were a little bit older and kind of, I don't know, established in their lives.

[John Ryan]

It's a good point.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right? So they.

[John Ryan]

I remember I'm going, like, to like. Sorry. I remember going to weddings like, right after, like, college and stuff and just be like, people looked at you weird if you weren't with someone.

[Sarah Colonna]

Totally. Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

100. I. I think that's why I didn't go to any of my high school reunions. Well, more reasons than that.

[John Ryan]

But I have my 25 year reunion coming up this year.

[Sarah Colonna]

You do?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, 25. I graduated in 2020. No, I graduated in 2000.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was about to say, excuse me.

[John Ryan]

I graduated in 2000. Now it's 2025.

[Sarah Colonna]

That 25 high school reunion. What are you guys going to do?

[John Ryan]

I don't know. I, like, we. We never had one before this. We always have a football one because we won the championship in 99. Don't want to brag what it happened.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know guys. They can't let it go because I used to.

[John Ryan]

We cannot let it go every five years.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was. You celebrated three times since I'VE known you. It's been more than every five years or has that only been twice?

[John Ryan]

No, it's been three times. And that's because we've been together for 10 years. That's three times.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. I guess one was right at the beginning and then.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, we just had our 25th and.

[John Ryan]

You were at my 20th.

[Sarah Colonna]

Every five years, these, these get together and celebrate that they won a championship in high school. And I think it's glorious and it's awesome.

[John Ryan]

And I'm the only person that has to get on an airplane to go to this reunion every time. Literally the only. Every other guy in the whole team, literally every guy on the whole team can take an Uber to the party and I got to take a two planes across the frickin two countries to get to this damn thing. I never, I show up every time.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you. And when you first started going to those, you had to go when you were single?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I see it. It's funny because like in the NFL, all the young guys are either like very single or very not single. I remember having the biggest problems I remember having with guys that were with someone is that their wife would think that like, him and I were gonna go out and they were gonna like, catch single. You know what I mean?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

No, I feel like as, as I got older, into my 30s, it actually got worse. So like, literally I had a guy on the team that basically, I think his wife just thought that if he ever hung out with me, he was gonna like end up the night in a brothel. You know what I mean? Like, that's what it felt like. It was just like, they're like, John's just going to rub up and I. And I wasn't that guy at all. I remember, I literally remember going out with this guy and him like almost passing out, dying when I'm just like, all right, I'm going to get a cheeseburger and go home. Like, I'm not the one that's partying like you are.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. It's funny because I've had that conversation with a few people and one of them being one of the wives, I think that you're talking about, because I, I think there was this illusion of, well, John's the single guy. So to your point. Oh, he. We're going to go out with him. They're going to go out. No. God knows what they're going to do. Because John's single, he doesn't have to go home to a wife and a family and Blah, blah, blah. And not too long ago there was a conversation about maybe you and one of your old teammates going on a trip or something. And they you guys referring to it as a boys weekends. And his wife was like, I don't know, Sarah. I mean I go, honey, a boys weekend for John. He's like, he's home by 8:00. He's like, he's at a happy hour. Yeah, nothing's going to happen. He's got to get home and read one of his stories before he goes to bed. Don't worry about it. Yeah, you're the least harmful person to hang out with.

[John Ryan]

I have a friend that is like been one of my best friends for my God, almost 30 years now, 25 plus years. And he's, I think he's been single for all but like two of those months of those 28 years. And I'll tell you, when he did started dating someone, it was like I felt weird about it. Like I'm used to being like, hey, let's go to Phoenix. He's like, cool, I'll get on the next flight. And I felt like I was going to lose that. It was very selfish on my behalf and I will admit it and I don't care. I'll tell it to his face.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, that's okay. I think that's a normal feeling. I think it's a normal feeling. I mean it relates exactly to what we're talking about in a lot of ways because since we, we both were quote unquote older when we got married, there were plenty of times of feeling. It's not all positive. I mean I told a good couple of good stories here where people treated me as I'd hoped to be treated as a single person. But there's plenty of times of feeling left out, feeling like the Georgie while seeing her, her best friends in, in who she believes is this really happy super couple that can do no wrong. And whether or not that's true, you just have to keep reading the New Wife by Sue Watson.

[John Ryan]

I think what's sadder about being single on the front side is I think it's a little bit sadder being single on the backside, which you and I have both had to go through with your stepmom and my mom where they had all these couple that they would hang out with. They'd go for dinner with these couples, it'd be couples groups. Then all of a sudden their husbands die and now they're left out of that group. I never going through it with my mom for you know, whatever it was now, 18 years ago. And she's like, well, I just. I hung out those two people, like husband and wife, like, a month ago. Now I'm like, no longer invited to their dinners because my husband died. And I remember your stepmom saying the same thing to me. She's like, we went to their house every single year, and now this year just wasn't invited to their annual party because I don't have a husband anymore.

[Sarah Colonna]

Which is so insane to me. In this book, you see that Georgie's always included. She's been included at every. That's why they call themselves the Jack Moores and they combine their last name and it gets kind of annoying, but it's fine. And they. She's always included. They always treat her as a member of their family because I think maybe there was no difference, right? There was not a husband to begin with. There wasn't. She didn't come into the relationship with a husband. And then, right, they. They weren't like, really super close with her husband and all of a sudden he's gone or something. I don't know. But you're right, that part is really sad because luckily for my stepmom, she has this one couple, two of our friends that we consider two of our best friends now, too. Even though they're in their 80s. They're the best, Kenny and Shirley and my stepmom, who's also named Shirley Ann. But they try to make sure she's included in everything now because they know it used to be the four of them. Kenny and my dad were best friends and they try to include her in everything. They came to our Christmas party with her because I invited. We invited all three of them. They came here the weekend together. She went to. They're from Kansas. She went back to Kansas with them and had had a lot of fun. A trip that she and my dad had done together before, and Missouri, too. I think. They. They did some traveling together, so. And they. They used to do traveling, all four of them. So it is hard when one person all of a sudden doesn't have that for them anymore. So I hope people. You gotta. You gotta remember that. That's the. You're right. That's the other end of it. It's the more depressing end of it than I thought.

[John Ryan]

It's definitely the most. Yeah. Sorry about that. It definitely. It is, though, funny. Like, when I was single, all those. All. I don't know how many years I was when I was single in the NFL, even when I wasn't single. I was alone a lot. You know, I was. I was. I never lived with anyone. I was always alone. And I never felt like just because someone's alone, you lived with that one doesn't mean.

[Sarah Colonna]

What, girl?

[John Ryan]

Months?

[Sarah Colonna]

Whatever. Just fact checking.

[John Ryan]

I said, even though you're alone, it doesn't mean you're lonely. It's two different things, okay? And some people don't realize that. People that always need to be with someone or be with a group of people, they don't realize that sometimes I just want to sit at the bar by myself. I don't need you to come talk to me because you think I'm alone. I don't need you to try to do anything. Usually when I'm at the bar by myself, I want to be left the fuck alone.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know.

[John Ryan]

Or at a table. I'm in a restaurant by myself. I'm not sitting there because I'm lonely or because I'm without. Without no friends, without any friends. It's because I don't want to be around anyone at that moment. So that second chair there is not for you. You can just take it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Is that why you started bringing your Kindle to the bar when you go out by yourself?

[John Ryan]

Always, always, always. So when I was. I started up doing that when I was playing the cfl because I'd go to a bar and people, especially when I was in Saskatchewan, because people would recognize, and then they think, oh, he's alone. Here's my chance to go and, like, ask him 100 football questions. You're like, oh. And then all of a sudden, I'd just be like, airbod. Airpod goes in and Kindle comes out. And then when I went to Edmonton, I actually, like, made friends at the bar. These guys, like, such good friends. I still talk to them almost every day, like regulars and bartender. And they came to our Christmas party one year. They come to a Pickles game every year. But for the first, like, month, I'd go in that bar. Well, almost every day. And I sit there with my Kindle. And the bartender who I talked to, he's like, why do you always bring your Kindle in here? At first, I didn't want to talk to anyone in here, but now. Now I kind of do.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now. Now I can't finish my book because, you assholes. With my friends. Yeah, that's funny there. I agree with that, of course, because I used to spend a lot of time alone, and we still do. I travel a lot. John travels a lot. We'll travel separately I value my alone time. And it. That is one of the points of bringing up Georgie's situation versus what's. What it's like to be the single person with friends who are all married and this and that is you're. It doesn't mean you're lonely. You don't have to feel sorry for that person. However, it's nice to be invited and included two things. And let that person decline. If you think it's going to be weird for them if you don't make it weird. Right. Don't. Don't start the invitation with hey, we're having a get together. Everyone's going to be coupled up. So I don't know if that's like sad for you. Um, no, you don't have to do that. You can just invite someone and let.

[John Ryan]

Them 99% of the time. It's not sad for anybody. So leave that part out.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, you can just have your wine.

[John Ryan]

You know what? You know what is fun? Doing alone. And most people wouldn't do this. I. Until I met you. I really like going on vacation alone. Don't. I can do what I want. I can wake up when I want. And I remember like going on vacation like girlfriends. I'm like, oh, you know, make this trip so much better if you weren't here. If it was just me alone, this trip would be a lot more fun. And then I met you. And we like to do all the same things. Like, you know, we like our. Our beach vacations and our sitting around drinking margaritas, reading books. But man, if you are with someone who wants to go on freaking adventures around freaking Tulum or some crap like that, I just. It's rough.

[Sarah Colonna]

If. So the. The way I knew that we could. We could. We were going to work is you never asked me if I wanted to go ziplining. You just.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I knew you would have jumped right off. Oh, man, you're not harnessed in yet. Oh, goodbye. My new boyfriend's a dick. I can't take it anymore. Maybe go zip line in the middle of a freaking jungle. This is where people come to die in Mexico.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. We are not activity people. We are very active at home. We both. We have a full gym. We work out. You can assume that John does by looking at his biceps. Sorry. It's just trying to. But we are active people. But on vacation we happen to be the opposite. And it is one thing speaking of the book list that we really bonded over that we both really like to read on vacation. I will blow through. I'll blow through a book a day.

[John Ryan]

You gotta load up like 10 books when you go to Mexico.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I'll. I'll blow through a book a day. I'll just. I. Cause I get. A lot of times what I'll do when I'm on vacation is I'll. I'll pick some. I'll just pick one of those. Kind of a classic page turner and On a Quiet street type book, but maybe even a little more crazy with just a crazy title that basically has like a lifetime movie title, just the Nanny in the basement or whatever, and I'll just read something like that. But we can go on vacation together and not. We can go on to the beach, get our margaritas and. This is. This is not a bad thing. So this is a. This is what I'm trying to say is a good thing. And it's just our thing. I'm not. You like to go ziplining? Please do. Harness in. Have a nice time. I've been ziplining once. But we can go on the beach and not speak to each other for a good three or four hours, other than to say, do you need another. Waiter's coming. I'm going to the bathroom. Will you order me another? And we'll just sit there in quiet and read and it's pretty glorious.

[John Ryan]

That's what a vacation should be. A vacation?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. Meaning of what you want to do.

[John Ryan]

Sure. Sure. Do what you want. I don't care. Don't. Just don't mess with me and Sarah.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, don't mess with us. Speaking of that, on a sadder note, of someone being single and wanting to go on a vacation. No. I don't know if I've ever told this story, so I just want to vent about it for a second because my. So my. My dad passed away a year and a half ago and my stepmom was invited to go on a cruise. So this is like a Georgie situation. Keep inviting your friends. Let. I think sometimes people stop inviting because they don't know what to say. I do think that when it's on that end where someone lost somebody for your mom, for instance, do you think those friends stopped inviting her because they just didn't know what to say?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, most likely. But why don't we just sit down with a person and talk to them? Yeah, I know the situation has changed. Are you still com. We know we'll never talk about this again, but I just want to make sure you're still comfortable with everything.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Do you still want to come? Do you still want to hang out with us. Is it too sad of a reminder? Let the person.

[John Ryan]

You don't need to ask every time. You just have the conversation one time, and you continue on what that person wishes to do.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's a good point. See, you should have been a counselor.

[John Ryan]

My dad was.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. That's what I was gonna say. So you got that in you?

[John Ryan]

I don't have the patience. My God.

[Sarah Colonna]

But my. But my stepmom was invited to go on this cruise, and she. I. I was so happy because I knew that she could use it. It was Scandinavian cruise. It was something she used to want to do with my dad. She decided to go anyway now that she didn't have him, which I think is very important for people. And these two friends invited her that they would. Would have been the four of them. And now it's just the three of them. So my stepmom calls. I can't believe that cruise lines do this, but apparently other people knew. She calls to book her room, and they tell her that she has to pay for two people. And she says, well, my husband's dead. And they said, well, if you want to come on the cruise, you have to pay for two people.

[John Ryan]

I understand it's based on double occupancy, but there's a whole bunch of other stuff included in that ticket on a cruise ship, right? Like there's food, there's drinks, there's entertainment. There's. There's one less bed to make every day. There should be something where you may have to pay a little more for a room by yourself, but you should have paid double.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was so mad when she told me that I couldn't. I was so. Emails were written, emails were written, Tweets were had, tweets were twatted. But I. Luckily my stepsister ended up wanting to go and went with her so that the money didn't even go to waste. And then my stepmom had a great time, and she was really glad my stepsister went.

[John Ryan]

A great time. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Because she. My stepsister was a little more active than the couple that they went. She. They wanted to get off the boat, really explore where they were. So they did that, and they had a really great time. But, oh, boy, did that make me mad.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I really did.

[Sarah Colonna]

There's a real downside to cruises, I guess, and that's one of them.

[John Ryan]

Well, there's a lot of downside to cruises, but that's for another episode. I think we got our time made today.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. Okay. All right. John's calling it on the on the podcast. So thank you guys for listening. This is the New Wife by Sue Watson. This was just a little discussion of the singledom, since that's a big part of Georgie's story in this. I hope you're enjoying it. And if you're not, whatever. We still have a lot to talk about when it comes to our selections. John, remind everybody their March book. Listen what Alice Forgot by Leanne. Leanne. Is it Leanne? Leanne. L I A N right? A N E Leanne.

[John Ryan]

That's probably Leanne, right?

[Sarah Colonna]

Leanne Moriarty, famous for big little lies. Correct.

[John Ryan]

I don't know, babe.

[Sarah Colonna]

Really.

[John Ryan]

I mean, I've, I think I've. It was that a book and a TV show? Yeah, I think I read the book.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, she wrote Big Little Lies. I just had to double check my work here and she. Speaking of looking like what you expect, she looks like what I would expect. She looks like she wrote some bestsellers and she's a badass lover. So I'm excited to read that, too. But for now, the New Wife by Sue Watson. Join us on Patreon if you'd like. It's $5 a month, all that bonus content on the 5th, the 15th and the 25th. And if you're following on that, the short story for February 15th episode is the Housemaid's Wedding by Freda McFadden. Join the book List spinners and follow us on Instagram at. The Book Lisp. Peace out.

[John Ryan]

See you next time.

[Sarah Colonna]

The Book List.

[John Ryan]

The Book Lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

The Book List.

[John Ryan]

The Book Lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

The Book Lisp.