← The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna
Tears and Cheers
00:44:08
It’s Week 3 of your July Book Lisp. With no spoilers until week 4, Jon & Sarah discuss topics inspired by this month’s read, “Meet Me at the Lake” by Carley Fortune. Pros & cons of taking over a family business, what is “home” to you, and an unexpected emotional discussion about what it’s like to visit a parent’s home after you lose them.
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- [00:00]
Sarah Colonna
Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.
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John Ryan
And I'm John Ryan.
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Sarah Colonna
And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.
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John Ryan
The Book Lisp.
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Sarah Colonna
Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book List. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. Dash. Ryan.
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John Ryan
Dash.
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Sarah Colonna
Well, I guess I. I mean, I never took your last name officially, but it's. I call myself Sarah Colon. Ryan. I just too lazy to go to the Social Security office and make things happen.
- [00:34]
John Ryan
Oh, well, it's the thought that counts.
- [00:36]
Sarah Colonna
You know, I feel like it is personally. And, you know, I thought about it and, you know, I didn't do it. Hi, listeners. We. We're very happy to meet some of you in Salem, Oregon. Just, honestly, just last night. So this is a Monday episode, but we are recording John's breathing heavily into the microphone.
- [01:02]
John Ryan
Very tired.
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Sarah Colonna
Yeah, we just flew back. We truly just landed a little bit ago and went right to record this. So it's Saturday right now, and last night I had a show in Salem. John was with me. We met several book listeners. It was really fun to see you guys in person. Thanks for coming to the show.
- [01:22]
John Ryan
Thank you.
- [01:23]
Sarah Colonna
If you want to see me live, another time in at Do Si do at the Woodlands in Texas, August 14th at Stable hall in San Antonio, August 15th, August 18th through the 24th in Vegas. And then I'm adding more dates, but then you. And then December dates are already there with. With Tacoma and Spokane. New Year's Eve in Spokane, but I'll have more dates in between. But those are my. The summer dates are what I just said. So we had a lot of fun. Yeah, there was a lot of listeners there.
- [01:57]
John Ryan
Yeah, I was surprised in the meet and greet after we met a lot of people that came up as their listeners. And that was really cool.
- [02:02]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, we always. If John's with me, he's always with me at the meet and greets. I always do a meet and greet regardless. Not for VIP tickets, just I do them no matter what. So it was a fun.
- [02:12]
John Ryan
It was a fun show.
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Sarah Colonna
It was a really fun show. We had a lot of fun. We came.
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John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
We just flew back. I mean, we just.
- [02:18]
John Ryan
Sarah got a standing ovation after the show.
- [02:22]
Sarah Colonna
I did get a standing ovation after the show. It was really nice and I didn't really know it. I saw some people start to stand up, and then John was like, do you. You got a standing ovation. Turn. Turn around. And so that was really sweet. And then we met so many cool people afterwards. We had a We had a good time. And it was also Pride Night at the Portland Pickles the night before.
- [02:45]
John Ryan
One of the busiest nights of the.
- [02:46]
Sarah Colonna
Year for us, which is awesome. And it was super busy.
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John Ryan
Yeah, it was. It was all good. I like these. These theater shows you've been doing.
- [02:57]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, they're really fun. It's nice to just do one night, one show in a nice theater.
- [03:02]
John Ryan
Enumclaw and Everett, then Montana, then last night. And they're like. They're five of my, like, most memorable shows that you've done in our.
- [03:08]
Sarah Colonna
Oh, really?
- [03:09]
John Ryan
In our what? How long have we been together? 11 years. 12 years?
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Sarah Colonna
Yeah. Why is that?
- [03:14]
John Ryan
Yeah, I don't know. I think there's fun. Like, it's like, it's not sometimes even when you're at, like, a really nice club doing like five shows in three days and like, being kind of. You're just like, you're there and I'm not even performing. You're the ones actually performing, but you just kind of like you're just there and then these ones. It seems like there's a little more excitement because it's coming in. It's just one show. Wait to see the city a little bit, move on to the next city, do it again. I think it's good. It's been really fun.
- [03:37]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, it kind of changes. I mean, I love doing clubs and like. Like Spokane, when I'm doing that in New Year's, it's going to be so much fun. And then Tacoma Comedy Club, you know, that's my favorite club in this entire country, truly. So that one's always fun, even to do a few nights, because it's just. We love that area and we have so much fun there. But yeah, it is. It is fun to just do these. Especially places I haven't been. I'd never been to Salem before, and they don't have a comedy club, so they have this cool little theater and then you get to do just one show, meet people, see a bit of the city and have a nice time.
- [04:10]
John Ryan
So had a nice dinner before. We had a lot of our friends from Portland that drove out for it as well.
- [04:15]
Sarah Colonna
So, yeah, they drove us home in a minivan.
- [04:18]
John Ryan
Yeah, there's $80 in a minivan.
- [04:22]
Sarah Colonna
It was really fun. We played country music because. So as John and I are recording, like I said, on Saturday, so that Alex and Olivia have time to edit and everything, because tonight, Saturday night, we're going to Sofi Stadium here in Los Angeles to see George Strait, Chris Stapleton, and Little Big Town. And we both are going to wear cowboy boots.
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John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
And we're not urban cowboy.
- [04:50]
John Ryan
Urban cowboys.
- [04:51]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. We didn't buy them for this show. We both already have cowboy boots. We both really love country music. So don't come at us saying that we're like fake country fans now. Do I wear my country. My cowboy boots anywhere outside of really a country concert? Not really, but because I don't really. It's not my daily look. It would look. I don't think I would. I think I would.
- [05:11]
John Ryan
Here's the thing. A country concert in the middle of Los Angeles is going to be probably 80,000 people there. Most of them are going to be fake cowboys. Okay. There's a lot of people on their combines going down Ventura Boulevard. Okay. A lot of fake cowboys tonight.
- [05:26]
Sarah Colonna
But I'm saying some of them will have bought their cowboy boots like, yesterday, whereas, like, most.
- [05:31]
John Ryan
Like most of them will.
- [05:32]
Sarah Colonna
Okay.
- [05:32]
John Ryan
Just.
- [05:32]
Sarah Colonna
Just saying. So we're special. No, we're very excited. It's gonna be super fun. So we'll tell you all about that probably on the next one. Don't forget, we have a Patreon that you can join. It's only $5 a month. And what we do there is we do a short story every month on the 15th, and it's always very quick read, easy to keep up with. And then on the 5th and the 25th, we just do bonus content that you never know what it's going to be. This month we are also adding the day after we do our full book review of Meet Me at the Lake, which is this month's read. Carly of Fortune has a bonus chapter that she wrote, and we are going to read that on Patreon. We're going to do a little dramatic reading. We're just going to set up my iPhone and I'm going to read it to John and it's going to be stupid and really fun. Uh, I haven't even read it yet. I want to, like, be. I truly want to just read it.
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John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
Yeah. So we have fun content over there. It's only $5 a month. It's a great way to support us while we pay our editors and support Alex and Olivia for doing all the work that they do, et cetera, et cetera. You get it. Free way to support us is to rate, review, and subscribe. Reviews always really help, especially when they're five star and nice. And join the book listeners on Facebook if you want to just chat with other book lovers that the. The group is so fun. People are always talking about what they're reading and not, not just what we're doing, but also what they're reading. I keep a featured tab in there letting you know what we're reading every month. Next month is Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney, which I just finished. And it's crazy bananas. It's. Have you read it yet? Have you started it?
- [07:17]
John Ryan
Yes. No. But you told you were saying it was cray cray.
- [07:21]
Sarah Colonna
It was crazy. There is a little bit. Someone in our listeners group did note, and I will repeat it here because I appreciated them posting it, that there's a graphic scene that might need a trigger warning. So it's, it's, you know, it's in there. Sexual assault scene. And I didn't know that going in. I hadn't read the book yet, but I do. I find the book to be very good. I think it's quite a tale. It's. I did not know where it was going at the end. I was. I mean, I think it's very well written. I think it's a fascinating book. But I do want to just let people know that that's in there in one. It's kind of towards the end and the chapters aren't numbered so I can't tell you what chapter number it is, but it's closer to the end and so that's that. So let's talk Meet Me at the Lake by Carly Fortune. Not in depth until next week. That's. We haven't, we still haven't talked about the book. Like, we like to save our discussions until week four, as you know. But John and I like to save it too for ourselves.
- [08:40]
John Ryan
And we, we just. During these times we discuss. During these, during these times we discuss topics inspired by the book, but not about the storyline. Yes.
- [08:51]
Sarah Colonna
Yes. So what do you have for us this week? John? He did the work on the, the work on thinking of things to talk about this week.
- [08:59]
John Ryan
I wanted to talk because Fern is obviously lost her mom. That's pretty early on. Mum. It's Canadian book. So it's mom, not mom lost her mom. And then she basically goes in and like takes over her life. So it's like you've lost your dad. I lost my dad. And we still, I think I still remember the first time you walked back into your dad's house and he's not there and just like kind of that feeling of like going to a place where you're always seeing that person and, and just like how hard that is. But then for her to do it, like, like not just go into that same place where she's going into the cottages or whatever. She's like basically taking over her mom's life.
- [09:39]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
- [09:41]
John Ryan
And today, today, when this is released, this. But today would have been my dad's 73rd birthday.
- [09:45]
Sarah Colonna
I was going to say that. You see my tear? I teared up a little bit. Yeah. So, yeah, no, I, Yes, I, I thought about that right before we started recording. I was like, oh, this is the day of. This podcast happens to be John's dad's birthday. And we are. And you ran. It's funny because you picked this topic last week. We were going to talk about it last week and then we got so involved in the summer jobs and all the fun things we talked about last week that we didn't get to it. And then it got pushed randomly without our thoughts to this week. And it also is your dad's birthday, so I find that to be kind of interesting.
- [10:26]
John Ryan
Well, it seems, it seems so crazy whenever certain dates come up because I always think that, like, they're. They hurt a little bit more when, like, right after it happens. Then as it goes on, I'm like, I'm not going to, like, have a bad day today because it was my dad's birthday. I'm not going to ruin a whole day, you know, the annual. The day that he died. I don't ruin that day because, I mean, someday we're going to be old and we're going to lose a lot of people, and I don't want to ruin 20 days a year because something happened on that day years before.
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Sarah Colonna
Right.
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John Ryan
But it's okay, that makes sense to.
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Sarah Colonna
Think about them and celebrate them and celebrate it that way.
- [10:58]
John Ryan
100. But I also know people like. And I mean, to each their own. So I know some people, like, can't even get out of bed on those days. And that's. It's tough, but I just, I just try not to look at it like that.
- [11:07]
Sarah Colonna
So, yeah, I think you have to choose how you do it because, you know, my dad passed on the 28th of June, and so. And this was the second year anniversary this year. And that day I. I didn't call my stepmom. I mean, I texted her, but I didn't call her. And I didn't even really. You weren't in town and I didn't mention it to you. I just kind of. I just wanted to have it. I wanted to think about it, but I wanted to think about it on my own terms. And I think that's fine. Right. I don't Think there's any rules to how people acknowledge it or think about it, but with the way it happens in this book, obviously it happens so quickly. And, and like you said, her having to, her going back and, and taking over her mom's life in, in many ways and, and, and, and feeling guilty, like she has to sort of being forced into it and then battling with that, like, yeah, oh, do, oh, do I sell it so that I can move past this because I never really wanted this? Or is this what. Or is that wrong to do? And you think about that internal struggle for people because there's no right or wrong. I mean, just because your family left you something and, and hoped you would take it over doesn't mean that it's on you to, to do that. And you can if you say, what's better for me is to not have any hands in this anymore. Right. Like, I know that my dad and my stepmom's place, when my stepmom passes, which will not be for a long time, she's healthy and lovely and we love her so much, but I know she's a feisty one. I know that they plan to leave their, their home to me and my stepsister and, and that'll be a thing where I go, you know, at that time. And obviously John will be involved in this. But will I want to, to keep doing that? Will I want to keep the place, make it a, a spot that we still go to rent it out, sell it? Who knows? That's a decision I have to make with another family member on top of it. But anyway, point is, you never know how you're going to feel about all that stuff until it happens. And you have to take your time because even my stepmom was, she was ready to move out of there last year and then because she was just like, I can't be here by myself. And then now she, that sometime has passed, she doesn't want to leave there.
- [13:25]
John Ryan
Anymore, and she's a lot more content.
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Sarah Colonna
Yeah. And they have a lot of friends there and I, and, but it's Palm Desert, so it's like people come and go. They are only there in the, in the off season, in the summer, she feels more lonely. So I get it. Right. But to John's point, I'm rambling now, but to John's point, when you first go back after losing your parent, as Fern does in this book, but when you first go into, like, right after my dad passed away, I had just been in his house the day before with my stepmom but then the day he passed away, we went back there with her, and we were walking in and I just, like, lost it, you know, And.
- [14:13]
John Ryan
I know babe.
- [14:15]
Sarah Colonna
And John was. Yeah, John, he told me. He goes, you know, this is. I forgot to warn you what it's like when you walk in.
- [14:24]
John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
For the first time. Sorry, take over.
- [14:28]
John Ryan
Yes. Love you, baby. I remember, like, my dad, when I got sick, they put him in palliative care, which is in palliative care. You know, just. They're trying to keep you comfortable. So we're just like, well, we're just taking him home and we're going to keep him comfortable there. And he actually, like. He actually passed away in my childhood bedroom.
- [14:49]
Sarah Colonna
Oh, wow.
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John Ryan
So first, that's kind of weird, but then I had a different situation in a way, because my family was there through the whole thing, like, from the time he got cancer, there's right there with them the whole time. And I was. I was a thousand miles away playing football in Green Bay the whole. That whole time. And so after he passed away, I think my family already kind of, like, adjusted to it. Not adjust. Kind of maybe adjusted. It's like being back in the house all the time, and I hadn't. And I come back, like, five weeks later after the season. It was a different feeling kind of going into the house and all that. And it's. I'm glad my mom kept the house because I always say, like, don't do anything right away. You know, take your time. Take a year or so before you make any large decisions.
- [15:29]
Sarah Colonna
That's good advice.
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John Ryan
It was. Yeah, it was our childhood house. Like, that was the only house I ever grew up in. And I'm just glad that she kept it because she's so happy there and she is now.
- [15:39]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. But it's. But you can see why someone would initially just go, like, get me out of here. I don't want to.
- [15:44]
John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
It's all memories. It's all hard that you should. I don't. I know we didn't plan this, but I don't know that you've shared really the story here. Right. With your dad coming to see you play football. Maybe that would be. I know that's not trying to bum everybody out this podcast, but whatever. It's a little bit of a. It's part of the book and it's part of our story. So.
- [16:09]
John Ryan
Yeah. I don't. We're not bombing people out here.
- [16:11]
Sarah Colonna
We're not.
- [16:12]
John Ryan
It's dead, dad. When I. When I was trying out in the NFL. My first year, my dad came to training camp and told me that he had cancer, which was obviously hard to hear. You're in the middle of like this huge, like five week, multiple month type battle to kind of get this job, your dream job. And then you kind of hit with that. It was difficult for me, obviously difficult for my whole family. And then I got a call, like it was like early October that I made the team. I got a call in early October saying that it was terminal. And he ended up living for about eight weeks. But about three weeks after that call, we had a local. My dad. My dad couldn't fly. He could barely drive. Like he was in rough shape. We had a local businessman in Regina, Paul Hill. God bless you. Take his private jet, have like my dad in his, like wheelchair and everything to bring him to a game. So you'd watch me play like one time. It was crazy. And so just I was warming up and the red badiar coming guy goes, go look in the tunnel. And my dad was in the tunnel at Lambeau Field.
- [17:16]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, it's pretty. I'm going to. We have photos of that. I'm going to share them on.
- [17:21]
John Ryan
Yeah.
- [17:21]
Sarah Colonna
The Instagram at the book list and I'll share them on the Book of Spinners Facebook group.
- [17:26]
John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
And it was love to see these.
- [17:28]
John Ryan
Five weeks after that day. Almost the. Almost exactly five weeks he. He died. So he got to. He got to watch him play in the NFL one time. So it's pretty cool.
- [17:35]
Sarah Colonna
It is.
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John Ryan
And we won.
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Sarah Colonna
Yeah. Because it was anyone. Big deal. Yeah, it's pretty cool because you think about how your, you know, your parents root you on your whole life and it's got to be. So, um, I'm hard, bittersweet, whatever you want to call it to when you do succeed in that thing or you reach a certain. Any milestone in your life, really, and they're gone. So to get to at least get to share that one big milestone with.
- [18:05]
John Ryan
It was like to be able to play in the NFL or whatever, you have to like, you have to sacrifice. Not just you, but your whole family has to sacrifice. So much time, so much money, so much resources just to do it. Because you got to be training since you're basically 7 years old. Like, I put everything I did into sports since I was seven. And so when I made it, it really felt like my whole family made it. Like my dad and I had made it. It was like it was a full family thing because it took everyone plus 100 other people for me to kind of get there. So that why it was just so thankful that you got to watch me play one time.
- [18:36]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. It's a pretty great story.
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John Ryan
Yeah.
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Sarah Colonna
Happy birthday, Bob Ryan.
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John Ryan
That's crazy, too. Is like. I'm like, he would have been 73 today, and he's been gone for almost 19 years. It's like. It feels like you feel, like, ripped off because it was, like, a lot of time.
- [18:51]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, I agree. Ripped off because he didn't get to meet me.
- [18:56]
John Ryan
I know.
- [18:57]
Sarah Colonna
I'm just kidding. I didn't get to meet him is what it really is. But anyway, talking about Fer.
- [19:05]
John Ryan
Switching up a little bit. Talking about Ferd, because this made me think of something about how she kind of took over her mom's job. And it's like, how that must feel weird just having her die tragically and then taking over her job. But just not only that. Like, I have a lot of. Not a lot of. I have a few friends that the day they were born, they knew what they were going to do for the rest of their lives. Like, they basically had no say in it. Like, these family businesses. I had a buddy in high school, his dad ran electrician. Electrician ran his own business, and he was just like, he was gonna be an electrician day. He. My. One of my best friends, Logan. I think Logan probably could have got out of it if he wanted to. I don't think he wanted to. But he's a farmer. He still worked the family land. Family farming does love it.
- [19:47]
Sarah Colonna
We know that.
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John Ryan
He does love it.
- [19:48]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, he.
- [19:49]
John Ryan
He does love it. And he'll. I think he'll do it forever. You know, I have a buddy who owns. Whose parents owned a tapanyaki restaurant or own a tap yaki restaurant in the. You know, the Japanese hibachi.
- [20:00]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
- [20:01]
John Ryan
And so he. He worked that restaurant since he was, like, five.
- [20:04]
Sarah Colonna
Oh, really? Do I know who that is?
- [20:07]
John Ryan
Yeah. Danny, welcome. Chan. Oh, Danny V. Okay. You've met him at. Probably at my. Like, high school reunions, football reunions.
- [20:15]
Sarah Colonna
But I don't think I've been to the restaurant. Right.
- [20:19]
John Ryan
No, it's good. All right, well, yeah.
- [20:22]
Sarah Colonna
Maybe taking us sometime. Jesus.
- [20:24]
John Ryan
Okay, I will. But I was. That was. Made me think of that, too, because that seems like those. Those are interesting situations, I would think.
- [20:33]
Sarah Colonna
I think so. I mean, that's. And any of you listeners, if you were born into a family business, we talk about it on, like, when we post the. The. That the podcast is up, I usually post a photo just of the. A screenshot from Apple. And then in the comments. We'd love to hear your experience if you've done that or on Instagram or something. But I, I think being born into a family business, it's got to be a blessing and a curse. But it really depends on what the business is and if you actually give a. About it. Right. Like, there's so many. We were just talking to this guy. It was funny.
- [21:10]
John Ryan
We were.
- [21:11]
Sarah Colonna
When we were in Oregon for, For the show this past weekend last night, we. We were in Portland first and then drove up to Salem, but we were in Portland and we're sitting at the bar and, and having some lunch and this guy, I heard this guy say he was from Arkansas. So you don't hear that very often in Oregon.
- [21:33]
John Ryan
Oregon, no.
- [21:34]
Sarah Colonna
And I'm from Arkansas. Yeah. So. So I, I said, oh, sorry, don't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you say you're from Arkansas. He said, yeah. And I said, oh, I'm from Arkansas. So then we talked a little bit. He said he was from Little Rock. I'm from Fayetteville. But he went to school in Fayetteville for a couple years at the University of Arkansas, where I went. And he said he worked as a. As a cook at. He goes at this place called Hugo's. And I'm like, oh, my favorite restaurant in Arkansas, which John knows well because every time we go home, we have to go to Hugo's and eat Derek special, which is the. I don't know, the most amazing chicken sandwich you'll ever have in your life. That's all that is.
- [22:11]
John Ryan
But your stepdad doesn't agree. But go on.
- [22:13]
Sarah Colonna
Whatever. He lives there and he maybe takes it for granted.
- [22:18]
John Ryan
That's why.
- [22:20]
Sarah Colonna
So. But anyway, he. So the guy, he was talking about how. Well, he's from Little Rock and his family owns this restaurant called Bruno's, which is a very famous Italian restaurant in Little Rock. And I, I'd heard of it. I'd never been there because I'd didn't spend a lot of time in Little Rock, but I knew about it. And he was like, yeah, I, I'm just on this. I'm on a weird tangent, but it's because it felt like he was a little bit bored into the restaurant business. And I wasn't sure that he was happy about it. I couldn't quite tell. It was like, yeah, he, he was talking about, well, my family owns Bruno's. It's a famous restaurant in Little Rock, one of, like, a very old restaurant there. And. And then he, he said. So I started There. And then when I moved to Fayetteville, I started and then he worked at Hugo's in another place. And then he, then he said he, when he moved to Portland, he was a chef at a restaurant for a long time and he just started bartending because I think he didn't want to be a chef anymore. So I was trying to get. It reminded me of all this because I thought, oh, this guy was kind of born into the restaurant business. And I can't quite tell if he wanted to be or not. I can't, I can't quite tell if he's trying to get out of it or like he's like, I don't want to be a cook anymore or a chef anymore. I don't want to be in the kitchen part anymore. So now I want to move on to bartending and maybe, you know, maybe management, something else. Like, I couldn't really tell.
- [23:43]
John Ryan
I think he seemed proud of the restaurant.
- [23:46]
Sarah Colonna
Oh yeah, very proud of the restaurant.
- [23:47]
John Ryan
He wanted to get away from it.
- [23:48]
Sarah Colonna
Right.
- [23:49]
John Ryan
And he went as far as you can possibly go to Oregon, right?
- [23:53]
Sarah Colonna
That's true. That's pretty far from Arkansas and it's not an easy trip back. And that's interesting because in this book, again, it's no spoilers. We don't do book talk until week four. Really. But if you've started the book at all, you pretty much know that her mom owned this summer resort. Well, it's not a summer resort, it's a year round resort. But yeah, she was always there in the summer and that is a, I mean it's a big undertaking when someone passes away to take on a huge resort, especially with debt and not doing as well as they used to and all the things.
- [24:31]
John Ryan
Well, I think it's just this like having to go in and clean out someone's closet. That's a big job. Like, like going into anyone's place that they live for a long time and now you go, you're taking over an entire business. Like there's like, it's crazy. I don't think I could do it.
- [24:48]
Sarah Colonna
I know. I, I mean my mom worked at a funeral home my whole life. If she had, she didn't own it. So I was never going to have to take over if something happens. But the, the family that does own it, it's been passed on. So think about that. I mean, think about the different kinds of businesses and sure, in this book, a resort, it sounds fun and it sounds beautiful. The cabins on the lake and a beautiful restaurant and regulars that come Every year that you grow up with and become friends with, all that sounds beautiful, but the daily of it, managing it, taking care of it, is a whole different story.
- [25:31]
John Ryan
Yeah, that's the part I wouldn't want to get involved in. And as I read this book, then I start thinking of all these things, like all the maintenance and the. I forget. She was commenting on something during the book that was, like, looking run down. I was like, oh, like, do that in a whole resort when you're just like a. Like a mom and pop type place would be awful.
- [25:49]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, it would be. And you feel for her in that. Oh, I thought I got away. I thought I moved to. She's in Toronto, right?
- [26:01]
John Ryan
Yep.
- [26:01]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. And she, in her brain is in this city. And then if she comes back, even if it's because of her mom, in her mind, she's a failure in some way. She's going backwards, going back to where she came from, which is something we kind of touched on this a little bit. Like big city versus small town living on the last episode. But if you think about that, overall, if you think about what it would be like to feel like you. Like if my parents owned a business right now in Arkansas, and I. And something happened to them, God forbid, my mom, stepdad, and I had to go back there to deal with it and decide whether or not I wanted to keep it or hand it over or. Or. Or sell it or whatever it is you know, you struggle with. I mean, it's like every Lifetime movie or Hallmark movie at this point, but you. Oh, going backwards, Are you going backwards. Are you. Are you not fulfilling your dreams because you're trying to fulfill someone else's? And I think that's. Which she. I mean, now I feel like I'm getting too much into the book, but.
- [27:14]
John Ryan
Right. No, I know what you're saying. But also, I had a question for you. When do I tell Ralphie that if I die, he has to help run a minor league baseball team? I would. When should we break this to him?
- [27:28]
Sarah Colonna
Honestly, I feel like Ralphie probably already knows that he's next in line in succession.
- [27:36]
John Ryan
Well, if you don't know when people call in or when people email a complaint to the team, most 90% of the complaints are just, like, funny. Like, people aren't really mad. Ralphie replies to all them.
- [27:48]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, if you guys don't know, they're.
- [27:50]
John Ryan
All replied to in the voice of.
- [27:51]
Sarah Colonna
Ralphie on the Portland Pickles Instagram. Sometimes they post them. It's Pickles Baseball, right? At Pickles Baseball, you Have to look because we. They basically, John writes the replies from Ralphie and from Ralphie's perspective, our cat. And which, by the way, who by the way, now has an Instagram account, Felice Navi Paws. And I did that because I don't have enough Instagram accounts to run now. I was like, why shouldn't I add one more? Why shouldn't I have five Instagram accounts to run? So Ralphie, Cindy Lou and Ruby sue have their own Instagram account. That's what we've passed on to them.
- [28:28]
John Ryan
That's all we got.
- [28:31]
Sarah Colonna
What else, babe?
- [28:32]
John Ryan
Well, this goes right into my next topic that we've already kind of touched on it, like, what you're saying, like, she had moved to Toronto. That was her new home. And I just wanted to ask, like, what. Like what. What these. What feels like home to you? Because I. For me, as I said before, I grew up the first, whatever, 19, 20 years of my life in the same house, in the same room with like. You know what I mean? Like, it was. It was complete consistency. And that was always like, home. I was real, like a home guy. I like, I even. It took me until I was like 15 or 16 years old before I could go like a sleepover at someone's house.
- [29:07]
Sarah Colonna
Oh, really?
- [29:08]
John Ryan
Oh, yeah. Because I just wanted to be home. I get so. I get so homesick. By the time it was like eight at night, I'd have to go home.
- [29:14]
Sarah Colonna
Oh, that's interesting.
- [29:15]
John Ryan
I needed to be by my parents, by family. I was. It was so. It was always like. That was always like home. And I thought that would always be home. That's also why I'm like. I love it though, when I go back. That is. Still feels partially like home in a way because mom still lives in the same house. She's renovated it four or five times over, so it doesn't look the same, but it just. That fell. Help. But then as I got older, then I was like, you know, kind of at the start of my football career, kind of a bit of a. Not a journeyman. But, you know, I played two years in Winnipeg and then, you know, you. You don't just live in Winnipeg for two years. You kind of live there for the season and go back home. Then the next year you get another apartment. And then. So when I moved to Greenman, actually made the team. I really wanted. I just wanted to buy something so I could. Felt like something was like home. Because nothing had felt like home for like three or four years there.
- [30:00]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
- [30:01]
John Ryan
Then I lasted two years There and I was gone. But it just like, it just keeps on going. And then the first time I really felt home again was when I was in Seattle when I bought a house. Seattle. Played there for 10 years. That felt like home.
- [30:14]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
- [30:15]
John Ryan
And it just, it takes a while and it just got weird how things change. And now like when I'm with you, I mean, sounds super cheesy, but like, as long as I'm with you, I'm home, you know, no matter where we are.
- [30:27]
Sarah Colonna
So cheesy.
- [30:28]
John Ryan
I don't care. I don't give a. You don't like it off.
- [30:33]
Sarah Colonna
Get us a word, Art.
- [30:34]
John Ryan
You know what I mean though? Because that's just like now that's like my, like anchor my, my home.
- [30:39]
Sarah Colonna
Yes, same here. Same here. And I, I would say, was it.
- [30:43]
John Ryan
Weird for you going from like Arkansas where that was, that was the first 21 years of your life?
- [30:47]
Sarah Colonna
Oh God. I mean the. When I first moved to California. Yeah, no, yeah, it was. I mean, when. For, I mean, for the most part, yeah, I moved around a lot before I was five years old. We moved a ton. And. But then once I lived in Arkansas, I lived there for a very long time and so. And that's all, that's what I remember the most. I don't really remember. I don't remember being born in Germany. I don't remember living in Miami for a brief period. I don't remember really living in Dallas. But. So yeah, that's what I, that was my home. When I first moved to California, it was. Even though I was living with, I was staying with my dad and my stepmom, so I had family in California. However, I hadn't lived with my dad since I was five. I had seen him every year. I had visited him every summer and like the day after Christmas usually too. So I had visited him in California a ton, but I hadn't lived with him since I was five. So it was adjustment. Not just for me, him and my stepmom who had just married him. By the way, welcome your 21 year old stepdaughter. Happy honeymoon. But I. So I was, I was, I mean I, I was doing it. I didn't want to move back to Arkansas. I knew I was happy, but I was like very thrown off by the difference in lifestyle. And I'm not talking about big city versus small at all. I'm not, I'm talking about the way my dad lived versus the way my mom did.
- [32:22]
John Ryan
Right.
- [32:22]
Sarah Colonna
I'm talking about the first Thanksgiving. So I moved out in July and And so I was. And then I got a job at a bar, and I was just living with my dad and my stepmom. And then come Thanksgiving back home in Arkansas, Thanksgiving was always either at my mom's, at my grandma's, or at my aunt and uncle's. And they just rotated it every year. Christmas, same way. It eventually got to be where it was always at my aunt and uncle's because they have. John's been there. My Aunt Linda and Uncle Glenn, they just have more space, a big house, huge living room because they had three kids. And so. And they built this beautiful dream home of theirs so they just have more room, more space to have everyone over. So it just kind of. And my mom got. My mom just hates. My mom just hates people, really. She just doesn't like. She's like me. She just doesn't want to have maybe. I mean, you know, I love a good Christmas party, but other than that, she's like, I don't want to cook. I don't want to clean up. I don't want to have people over.
- [33:22]
John Ryan
I couldn't see your mom hosting a big event.
- [33:24]
Sarah Colonna
No, no. Yeah, exactly. That's where she thrives. But she would. So mostly. So Glenn and Linda always, like. They were like. They were the ones that liked to have everyone over. So we. Everyone would do their own Christmas thing at home. And then all the whole family would meet up at Glenn and Linda's laters. Like you do your immediate family at home.
- [33:44]
John Ryan
Yeah.
- [33:45]
Sarah Colonna
Your presents. And then go to Glendale. So Thanksgiving, same. Wake up. But then always we would have dinner at 2 o', clock, you know, as you do on Thanksgiving at Glenn and Linda's. So this Thanksgiving, that, My first Thanksgiving at my dad's and my stepmom's, they were like going to a friend's that I didn't even know. And it just wasn't a big thing. They didn't seem to care that much. Yeah. And I. And I. And. And you know this very well that later it turned into a very big thing to spend Thanksgiving. My dad. Yeah, it was. He might. They hosted it. They hosted Marines at the Palm Desert Country Club. Palm Valley Country Club, where he lives. Lived until he died. And. And it became Thanksgiving, actually became. Which is funny now that I'm talking about it out loud. I never even thought about this. But the worst holiday I ever had out here was my first Thanksgiving.
- [34:43]
John Ryan
Really.
- [34:43]
Sarah Colonna
And it turned into the best holiday I always spent with my dad.
- [34:47]
John Ryan
Yeah.
- [34:48]
Sarah Colonna
But the first one, I just. It was like. I just didn't know the people that he was really spending it with. And even though it was. They were close to them, obviously. And I know my stepsister was involved and it was. But to me, it just felt like not as a big of a family event like my. My fam. Like my mom and my Arkansas family did. So it depressed me and it made me. And listen, it wasn't anything about the way they were celebrating it. It was my own missing home, as you're talking about, that brought that on. But. And that. So I pretended I was sick and I didn't.
- [35:29]
John Ryan
Oh, really?
- [35:30]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, really, I did. And then I called my mom and just cried and was like, I miss home. And she was like, you're gonna be fine. Basically.
- [35:41]
John Ryan
It'S the one thing that Canadians are not very good at. Okay. I'm very proud of my people. One thing we're not very good at is Thanksgiving.
- [35:49]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. Thanks.
- [35:50]
John Ryan
Thank you. I didn't realize. You wouldn't realize it unless you spend a Thanksgiving in the U.S. thanksgiving, Canada. It's like on a Monday, I think, what, the second Monday in October. So a lot of people, like celebrate on Sunday. The food is the same, but it's not like as big a hoopla. It's not like a big. There's not. I mean, I'm sure there's parades, but it's not even close to the same. I got here and I was like, people are like, thanksgiving's my favorite holiday. I'm like, what is wrong with you? And then I realized I'm like, Thanksgiving's like. Thanksgiving's like a four day party. It's incredible. It's so much fun. You get the football, it starts in the morning, and it just kind of like it's the whole day, but that kind of bleeds out into the whole weekend. And then it's kind of the kickoff to this Christmas season, which is obviously my favorite.
- [36:26]
Sarah Colonna
Your favorite.
- [36:28]
John Ryan
So I've really come to love Thanksgiving since I moved to the usa.
- [36:31]
Sarah Colonna
Babe, I know. You really have. He has. Really? I mean, you get excited when it's coming up. And. And that wasn't just because my dad hosted a fantastic Thanksgiving because even before, like, I would. I was going to his house for a long time for Thanksgiving. And then when you and I met, when John and I met, he was playing football. So there were. He couldn't. Couldn't do anything on Thanksgiving because he was still playing football. So if. If he. If not that he was playing that day, but he had to play on Sunday so he could travel, couldn't Go anywhere.
- [37:03]
John Ryan
Some people still were asking me when I was playing the NFL like, are you going home for Thanksgiving? I'm like, I have practiced or played every Thanksgiving since I moved to the us Like I've played on three of them and I practice on all the other. Like it's like Pete was always like, I'm going to get you guys out of here early. And then it was like 4:30 and you're waiting on your car outside, like waiting for me to be done, you know, like it was, it wasn't very early.
- [37:24]
Sarah Colonna
No, it seemed like a nine hour day.
- [37:26]
John Ryan
Same with Christmas.
- [37:27]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, no complaints. I mean it's just no complaints at all.
- [37:30]
John Ryan
No, but it just, it was just part of the, part of the NFL thing.
- [37:34]
Sarah Colonna
But it changes how you celebrate it, how you think about it, how you think about home. We're a little all over the place on this episode. But I like it.
- [37:42]
John Ryan
We always are.
- [37:43]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, but I like it. But it does change how you look at it because that, like when you talk about what's home to you. Right. When you, and you brought that up, and this is relating back to the book, but I used to always go home for Christmas too.
- [38:01]
John Ryan
Yeah.
- [38:02]
Sarah Colonna
So when I first moved out here I, you know, and my dad took no offense because I was with him all the time, it was fine. But I would, I was Christmas always. I would go home because I just knew that my mom wanted me to be home for Christmas and that was important to her and that's that. And I, it was important to me too. I wouldn't, I didn't even decorate. I didn't put a tree up. I didn't put anything up because I was like, Arkansas was Christmas. I know. I just didn't, I didn't.
- [38:27]
John Ryan
Even when we first met, you never hung up. Even when we first met, you weren't hanging anything up. I sent you one of the first, one of the first gifts I sent you. Not just, just a gift was a Christmas tree.
- [38:36]
Sarah Colonna
He sent me a Christmas tree like with the pre decorated lights and stuff. Because he was like, what the fuck do you mean you don't decorate? I'm like, I don't. I go to Arkansas. Like, and he's like, yeah, but there's so many days before that and after that that you could have decorations up. But I would just go home. It was always important to my mom. And I remember the first time I wasn't going to go home because I was with you.
- [38:57]
John Ryan
Yeah.
- [38:58]
Sarah Colonna
And you can't travel for Christmas. I mean that was even gosh Even. No, that. Even that year that we got engaged, I was going home. Because I went home and you were.
- [39:09]
John Ryan
At your home and you came to my place on it.
- [39:12]
Sarah Colonna
I came to engage 20. Yes. And that. But from then on, I didn't go for Christmas anymore. I spent it with John again, what is home? So I.
- [39:22]
John Ryan
But.
- [39:23]
Sarah Colonna
And I remember thinking that that was gonna hurt my mom's feelings. That was gonna be a thing. I mean, she does say she hates Christmas now, but I don't think that's because of me. But it didn't. It didn't even. It didn't phase her. She was like, yeah, that's how it. I mean, that's how. I mean, I get it. Like, because I've been gone so long because. But because her. Even when she got married, she was still having Christmas at her mom's, you know, a lot because we lived in the same city. Not when she was younger, but when. Not when she was married to my dad, but when she was married to my stepdad. Anyway, long story short, home is wherever you want it to be. That a good way to.
- [40:11]
John Ryan
To button that perfect baby.
- [40:14]
Sarah Colonna
I feel like. I really feel like. Wasn't expecting this to be such a deep episode.
- [40:20]
John Ryan
I know. We really got into it. I liked. Was like. It was like therapy.
- [40:30]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. I don't. Your family always knew. I don't want to end quite yet, but because you're. Your family always understood too, right? The holidays, Christmas.
- [40:41]
John Ryan
Oh, yeah.
- [40:43]
Sarah Colonna
Went home, met. They know that it means a lot to you, but there is no choice for you. When you got into your career, it's not like you could.
- [40:51]
John Ryan
No, it was. Well, it was like my first 23 Christmases were exactly the same. We did the exact same thing every Christmas. Like, we were like traditional family and we did, like, everything the same. Like, go to my dad's mom's house on Christmas Eve, open gifts. Christmas morning, we'd all go to my mom and dad's room until they woke up. Then we all walked down the stairs together, open our gifts, our stockings really, you know, took a long time, ate the same thing after that, then went to my nana's house, my mom's mom. It was exactly even. Like, when I. My first two years of pro football, I came back home. We still did that same thing. Yeah, it was like, all, like, tradition. And then my first. I was 24, my first Christmas in Green Bay, and I just. I was all by myself for Christmas. Literally all by myself. And someone's like, oh, that's so sad. Like, why don't you come over and spend it with our family? And I'm like, you don't even know me well enough to know that I don't want to be with you today. Like, you don't even know if you knew me well enough, you wouldn't ask. So I rather just be by myself. But that was, that was like just a different Christmas for me. That was kind of the first time. Like, oh, this is going to be different for hopefully a while because I want to keep on playing. But yeah, but now you got me all horned up for Christmas.
- [41:58]
Sarah Colonna
I know, I know if this feels like a Christmas episode in a weird way, but really it's about family.
- [42:04]
John Ryan
Yes.
- [42:04]
Sarah Colonna
And which is a lot of what this book is about. Family choices. You make what feels like home and what ties you to where you're from.
- [42:14]
John Ryan
Yeah. And that was just a nice John book. And next month it's rape and murder, so buckle up. Sarah's.
- [42:21]
Sarah Colonna
No, there's one I know, I'm just joking moment. Yes. But other than that, that is not what it's about.
- [42:33]
John Ryan
I know, I know.
- [42:34]
Sarah Colonna
Crazy story and a crazy book.
- [42:36]
John Ryan
I can't wait to get into it.
- [42:38]
Sarah Colonna
So, yeah, that is Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney. And on next week, when we do the full book review for Meet Me at the Lake, we will also announce our Patreon short story this past month, this month that we're currently in. But on the 15th of this month, it was Death Row by Freda McFadden. And it was so good.
- [43:02]
John Ryan
Yeah, it was really good.
- [43:03]
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, you read it in an hour or listen to it on Audible in an hour. And then we had a great discussion about it. So it really is fun to add in the short stories. It's just sort of a different thing that I haven't done before. So I'm loving that. On Patreon, we'll do the bonus chapter of Meet Me at the Lake that Carly Fortune wrote that we found on her website also on Patreon the day after. So on the 29th, I guess. Right? Yeah. When the full review comes out, we'll do the Patriot. That'll be on Patreon the next day. And we love you. This was a little bit of a different episode. Maybe not knee slappers, maybe some tears happens, but whatever. I'm tired, just got off a plane and John started it by bringing it up. So, yes, thank you, listeners. Please join us on Patreon if you can rate, review and subscribe is a great, great way to help us too. And we will talk to you next week.
- [44:00]
John Ryan
Bye.
- [44:01]
Sarah Colonna
The book list.
- [44:02]
John Ryan
The book lisp.
- [44:04]
Sarah Colonna
The book list.
- [44:05]
John Ryan
The book lisp.
- [44:07]
Sarah Colonna
The book lisp.