"Then She Was Gone" Full

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Then She Was Gone" Episode of The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna

Release Date: April 28, 2025

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Introduction and Welcoming Banter

The episode kicks off with Jon Ryan and Sarah Colonna engaging in their trademark playful banter, showcasing the dynamic and humorous rapport that defines The Book Lisp. Their light-hearted exchange about microphone mishaps and past humorous disputes sets a relaxed and entertaining tone for the discussion ahead.

Sarah Colonna [00:02]: "And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List."

John Ryan [00:07]: "The Book Lisp."

Podcast Information and Patreon Promotion

Sarah takes a moment to highlight their Patreon page, encouraging listeners to support the podcast for an enhanced experience, including bonus content released on specific dates each month. She briefly mentions their monthly book selections alternating between Jon’s romance picks and Sarah’s psychological thrillers.

Sarah Colonna [01:50]: "I love all the weeks of doing the fun stuff in between as well. But getting to finally talk about it is really exciting."

Jon adds a humorous touch by referencing their current projects and upcoming events, such as Jon’s involvement with the new soccer team, Portland Bangers FC.

John Ryan [02:11]: "Portland Bangers FC first game, May 15th. New soccer team."

Diving into "Then She Was Gone"

Overall Impressions and Ratings

Sarah and Jon express their enthusiasm for Lisa Jewell's "Then She Was Gone", rating it highly for its compelling narrative and intricate character development. Their ratings come with a twist of humor, using vodka and beer scales to quantify their enjoyment.

Sarah Colonna [04:26]: "I give it a five out of five. Vodka."

John Ryan [04:53]: "I give it a solid 10 out of 12 beers."

Character Analysis

Laurel Mack

Laurel Mack, the protagonist, is portrayed as a deeply sympathetic character grappling with the unresolved disappearance of her daughter, Ellie. Sarah highlights Laurel's struggles with moving on and her strained relationships with her remaining family members.

Sarah Colonna [10:59]: "She's a little frustrating now. From the beginning, you. You totally get her. Right. You totally understand that she's stuck at this time, that she lost her daughter."

Jon comments on Laurel’s inability to fully move past her grief, which adversely affects her other relationships and her capacity to trust new people.

John Ryan [11:26]: "Like, she really was. And then, I mean, also, you look back, like, she didn't date for 10 years because she's so obsessed with the."

Floyd

Floyd, a complex character, is discussed extensively. Both hosts ponder his ambiguous morality and the depth of his involvement in the central mystery.

Sarah Colonna [07:03]: "So that's one of the. My favorite things about it is it's like Lisa Jewel knew that she could relax me a little bit by telling me one of the bad guys right up front."

John Ryan [07:25]: "He's interesting. We'll talk about that later. He's interesting."

They explore Floyd’s obsession with Laurel and his morally questionable actions, including his methods of investigation and eventual confrontation with Noel.

John Ryan [14:00]: "Did he go about it the right way, no, obviously he didn't go about it the right way, but, like, how do you feel about that?"

Noel

Noel is depicted as a deeply disturbing antagonist, whose actions against Ellie are both sinister and twisted. The hosts emphasize her manipulative nature and the terror she inflicts on the Mack family.

Sarah Colonna [06:09]: "So that's one of the. My favorite things about it is it's like Lisa Jewel knew that she could relax me a little bit by telling me one of the bad guys right up front."

John Ryan [06:30]: "She's basically like, oh, I'm just. I'm sick of her being in the basement. I'll just let her go. Like a five year old that has a hamster or something."

Supporting Characters: Paul and Poppy

Sarah delves into Paul’s supportive role in Laurel’s life post-divorce, highlighting his understanding and encouragement as they navigate their shared past and present challenges.

Sarah Colonna [32:55]: "But Paul does say to her, when she says that she lost him, I can't find the exact quote...he says, you know, you didn't lose me, you still have me."

Poppy, Laurel's granddaughter, is discussed as a curious and intelligent child whose inquisitiveness drives much of the plot’s tension.

Sarah Colonna [38:06]: "She’s not an only child because she grew up with another child. But that's why we're screwed because all these kids that are coming, going, like leaving college right now, they're all homeschooled for two years during COVID."

Plot Points and Twists

The conversation navigates through key plot developments, including Laurel’s discovery of Floyd’s secretive investigations and the shocking revelation of Ellie’s fate. The hosts appreciate the book’s twists, such as the epilogue providing closure and a bittersweet ending.

Sarah Colonna [23:54]: "And she says it should have been four. She's alluding to Ellie. I'm like, what about Hannah?"

John Ryan [51:34]: "I like a good epilogue. Can really bring a whole book together, you know?"

Themes and Emotional Impact

Themes of grief, obsession, and the complexities of familial relationships are thoroughly examined. Sarah and Jon empathize with Laurel’s perpetual mourning and the detrimental effects it has on her ability to connect with Hannah and Poppy.

John Ryan [35:29]: "I think their situation...because you're like, what? You're still like, you're like, you're not at the same stage of grief that I am."

Sarah reflects on the realistic portrayal of enduring parental worry and the perpetual struggle to balance personal grief with responsibilities to the family.

Sarah Colonna [37:20]: "And so. And so she's like, immediately she's worried about her, starts calling. And that's got to be for the rest of your life."

Critiques and Praise

While the hosts laud the book for its compelling storytelling and complex characters, they also offer constructive critiques. Jon points out minor plot inconsistencies, such as character motivations and actions that felt excessive or unexplained.

John Ryan [26:10]: "They're like, oh, my God, I cannot be with him because his sailor moon is in Jupiter during fall time, and he's a. He's a Sagittarius."

Sarah appreciates the book’s ability to blend suspense with emotional depth but questions certain character decisions that seemed illogical or forced.

Sarah Colonna [17:33]: "But Poppy's nine now. Ten."

Conclusion and Wrap-Up

Jon and Sarah conclude the episode by reaffirming their appreciation for "Then She Was Gone", praising its intricate plot and emotional resonance. They tease their next month's selection, "Beach Beach Vibes" by Susan Mallory, and encourage listeners to engage with their Patreon and social media platforms for additional content and book recommendations.

Sarah Colonna [52:12]: "And you have until the end of May...Maybe just some videos through, you know, once a week or something that we do at home and, and whatnot."

Jon and Sarah's final remarks encapsulate their enthusiasm and commitment to providing insightful and entertaining book discussions, inviting listeners to join them for future episodes.

John Ryan [53:43]: "The Book List, the book lisp, the book list, the book lisp, the book list."

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Notable Quotes:

• Sarah Colonna [04:26]: "I give it a five out of five. Vodka."
• John Ryan [04:54]: "10 beers out of 12? 12 beers out of a 12 pack."
• Sarah Colonna [05:44]: "I already knew going in...that Noel had something to do with this."
• John Ryan [07:25]: "He's interesting. We'll talk about that later."
• Sarah Colonna [23:54]: "She's alluding to Ellie. I'm like, what about Hannah?"
• John Ryan [36:14]: "You're tied together with someone when you have a kid till. Till the day you die."

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This episode of The Book Lisp with Jon Ryan & Sarah Colonna offers an engaging and in-depth exploration of "Then She Was Gone", blending thoughtful analysis with the hosts’ signature humor and chemistry. Whether you're a fan of psychological thrillers or new to the podcast, this summary encapsulates the essence of their lively discussion, making the episode accessible and intriguing for all listeners.

Transcript

[Sarah Colonna]

Hi, I'm Sarah Colonna.

[John Ryan]

And I'm John Ryan.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you're listening to the Book List. The Book List.

[John Ryan]

The Book Lisp.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's right. You're listening to the Book Lisp. Hello and welcome to the Book Lisp with John Ryan and Sarah Colonna. I just yelled at John and now we're just like in a stare off.

[John Ryan]

No, you're moving your microphone. It's making noise.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, really?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, right in my ear.

[Sarah Colonna]

He was. He was moving his microphone around and I said, stop. I mean, he was banging around and it was killing my ears. This is what it's like to do a podcast with your significant other. Really takes a toll.

[John Ryan]

This is the mad. This is the maddest you've been at me since I forgot to buy coffee one time. Oh, my God.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, was I mad when he forgot to buy coffee? Well, it wasn't that you forgot to buy it. You. I said, you need anything?

[John Ryan]

And then he said, you need grocery store? I go, no, I don't think so. And then apparently I needed to say coffee because apparently it's my responsibility. So then you got very upset with me. This was five years ago, people.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then I remember I woke up the next morning, you were out of town, and I didn't have any coffee. And I texted him and I said, I don't have any fucking coffee. What am I supposed to do now?

[John Ryan]

Does your app not work? Can you not order from across the street? Anyway, I could throw a rock and hit three coffee shops from our house.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's very true. And the grocery store is also within walking distance.

[John Ryan]

And also I went on Amazon, ordered 15 bags of coffee after that.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. And that was when we lived our old house. And I didn't have any place to put them. I was like, now you. Now you created another problem. Hi, guys. Welcome to the book list.

[John Ryan]

These are all you problems.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. I am a problem, period. This is our favorite week of the month. Just because we love finally talking about the book. I love all the weeks of doing the fun stuff in between as well. But getting to finally talk about it is really exciting. If you're watching this on Patreon, look at my Portland Bangers sweatshirt.

[John Ryan]

Portland Bangers FC first game, May 15th. New soccer team.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

USL League Two.

[Sarah Colonna]

Very exciting. Thought I'd do a little advertising while I'm wearing it, actually. It's just comfortable and cute. So we are here. I just mentioned Patreon if you wanted to contribute $5 a month to the book list. Cause by joining Patreon what you get there is you can watch the episodes and every Monday it's just I, who wouldn't pay $5 just to see John and myself talk. Gosh, what a treat. And of course, if you don't want to watch it that way, you can just listen to it in the app the normal way. But the bonus content is what people really have been excited about. And joining for we have content the 5th, the 15th and the 25th of every month. The 15th and the 5th and the 25th is just us talking nonsense sometimes book stuff. I did talk a lot about a book I was reading. I I'm reading right now on the 25th this past time, but nothing like a review or something you have to listen read along with. But on the 15th we do a short story and those are really fun. So the short story that we're reading for Patreon for May, just in case it entices you and you want to know ahead of time and you're going to join is the Answer is no by Frederick Bachman. And it's a little different. It's like a it's supposed to be pretty funny. I haven't read it yet so it's a little different. It's not the same as our our other our genres that we do here. So that's what you can do. And if you want to support us for free rate review subscribe helps lift up our little profile in the Apple world and Spotify world and also join the Book List Spinners, our Facebook group. Follow us on Instagram at the book Lisp. God. What else, John?

[John Ryan]

I think you nailed them all.

[Sarah Colonna]

No Ma Read in case you didn't listen already is John John's pick Beach Beach Vibes by Susan Mallory and I just started it. I'm already enjoying it. Super fun. Especially after after this month's after your.

[John Ryan]

Intense book that we're going to about to review.

[Sarah Colonna]

Mm discuss. It's so so I loved this book. We'll just get into it, John. So we we don't talk about the book until now so that we can find out each other's reactions and thoughts in real time with you guys, which I kind of enjoy. What's your overall feeling on this book? Would you give it four vodkas? Five vodkas? Beers?

[John Ryan]

10. 10 beers out of 12? 12 beers out of a 12 pack. I liked it. It's good. I've actually, I actually read this on my own a while ago, a year or two ago before this recommendation. So I it was I was already a fan of this book before.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Oh, that's right. You had read it before. I had forgotten that. But then you kind of had. You had to refresh and read it again.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

As we both do and. Yeah. I give it. I give it a five out of five. Vodka.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

I, I loved it. I. I mean it's obviously very serious as in nature as. As what happens. But it's just well written and keeps you. Keeps you moving. You know what I think I like the best about it is that. So you know that I like a spoiler which I don't do for the books in the book list.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

But what I like is that I already knew going in. You already know that Noel had something to do with it and that so a. That gives me a little peace because as a person who loves spoilers, I already know. Okay. Well she's telling us Noel had something to do with this. She's not trying to. But then at the end you get a twist.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And you also. And then also, of course Noel's involvement is way deeper than you.

[John Ryan]

It's realized up.

[Sarah Colonna]

So up. So that's one of the. My favorite things about it is it's like Lisa Jewel knew that she could relax me a little bit by telling me one of the bad guys right up front. And I appreciate that.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. I mean it's, it's Noel's very like very twisted. Like we find out how she killed Ellie. Like she's basically like, oh, I'm just. I'm sick of her being in the basement. I'll just let her go. Like. Like a five year old that has a hamster or something. Like I'll just.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, stop feeding her and just stop being.

[John Ryan]

Just starves to death.

[Sarah Colonna]

Awful. It's awful.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

So yeah. And she's creed the hamsters. It's just like. It's the, the elements that Lisa Jewel added of things like that with the.

[John Ryan]

Hamsters and just the stinky basement. The.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. The hoarder vibes sort of. Yeah. But along with being not just a hoarder, a terrible person on top of it. Twisted, effed up. And then you find out Floyd is too. In many ways. We'll get to him.

[John Ryan]

Floyd's an interesting character. We'll talk about that later. He's interesting.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Well we can talk about it now.

[John Ryan]

Well, it's just like is. Is he a good guy? A bad guy? Naive? A little of everything.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. It's funny because when he first starts talking about how he grew up to her and, and then, and, and later I Was like, is any of that even true? But it. I think it is. And that's why he's a little screwed up. And. But yeah, there's. It's funny because you feel when you find out what he did and when he tells the whole story in the confession and he says, there was. Once I started to realize what happened or the possibility, I thought there was no way that if she was my child, that they weren't gonna blame me and think that I had something to do with this.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

And Right. That is an interesting thing on his end. Of course, he still should have done the right thing. No doubt.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

And.

[John Ryan]

But also. Also there in that part, like, very naive to have his partner saying she's pregnant when she's not. Like, how. Like his daughter, sj, she said she saw her, like, three months before she gave birth, and she didn't even have a bump. Like, saw her, like, in the. In the room or something. So how does she fool her husband or her partner for nine and a half months and he not know anything?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I think because even though she was wearing a baby bump, even though that she told them, you know, there was. That the doctor said she couldn't have sex, all this stuff. Oh, you would still think, though, that there would be a little. Even a hug and you would feel fake or something.

[John Ryan]

I mean, if you were like, we can't have sex for nine and a half months because my doctor said so. I think I still probably, like, see you naked.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. Well, they didn't have. It seemed like he didn't have the most intimate relationship with her. She even said. She said, we did other things because I had to keep you around. So she's probably, you know, giving him an old BJ's or something.

[John Ryan]

Some handy jibber under the table.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wait, speaking of that.

[John Ryan]

Flipper hand gibbers.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Flibberty flippity jibbit. Flibberty gibbet. How do you say it? He. Floyd calls Paul that. At the end, he says, I could tell he was a bit of a flibberty gibbet. And. Oh, yeah, my new favorite word.

[John Ryan]

That's another. Must be another UK term. There's a lot of UK terms in here.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

What one? I can't believe that you Americans have never had.

[Sarah Colonna]

After aids, after eights, they're like. Are those like the Andre. The Thin Mints? Yeah, they're like Thin Mints kind of, right?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, but each one's individually wrapped in a little, like, paper thing. But I don't see them in The US In Canada, they're. They're huge, obviously, in the UK, Too, but they're very big at Christmas. They're very big.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think we have those. The Andes or whatever they are, you know, instead.

[John Ryan]

Oh, no, girl. Not the same. It's like saying Smarties and M M's are the same. They're not. We got Smarties in Canada. You guys suck down these M M's. That tastes like cocoa and sugar. We have real chocolate in Canada. Well, you're a free chocolate.

[Sarah Colonna]

As you can see. If you're watching, we're having Bloody Marys because we're recording this on a rainy Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles.

[John Ryan]

The sun's come out a little bit.

[Sarah Colonna]

Does that mean I have to put my Bloody Mary away?

[John Ryan]

No. Yeah. That means you need another one.

[Sarah Colonna]

Thank you. So there's so many things. One, Laurel's our main character, so I want to talk about her a bit.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's a little frustrating now. From the beginning, you. You totally get her. Right. You totally understand that she's stuck at this time, that she lost her daughter. Her family has had to move on. She wasn't able to do so. So Paul finally, you know, their marriage dissolves. She's not close to her other two children.

[John Ryan]

Like, she even says, like, Paul. She doesn't speak badly of Paul. She's like, he's a great guy. Like, he's a really good guy. And then she. Paul even says that, like, oh, it looks like you just found, like, our family 2.0 type thing. Like, kid looks just like Ellie. He was a man that looks just like me.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Like, it was like. It seems like. Yeah. She really, like, could not get over this death in the family and really affected her. The rest of her family.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And I think, because there's a point, too, when Paul says later, when she's talking about her relationship with Hannah, and she's. And he says, I think she needs you to forgive her for not being Ellie. And.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

And there's even a point when Poppy said. When. This is way later at the end, when Poppy is revealed to be her granddaughter, and she says, who is my mom? And she says, ellie. And she says, wish, is she as pretty as Hannah? And she's like. I had to stop myself from saying, like, oh, no, she's way. She was way prettier than Hannah.

[John Ryan]

I know. I caught that. I was like.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm like, laurel, you're still kind of. You're still kind of a. To Hannah here.

[John Ryan]

I mean, like, still. Still picking favorites.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. But you under. You sympathize with someone having lost a daughter and someone not being able to get over it and all the awful things. You would hope that she would cling to her other children, but instead, it kind of just tears their whole family apart. And the rest of the family figures out that they have to move on, especially once the. The bo. The bones are actually found. And then, you know, there. Laurel talks about how she had tried to move on at one point, and she had moved away from there and given up on. On it. And then when. Then she got the phone call that they found the remains. That's when she's like, now I feel like I'm being sucked back in. And so all. All that being said, you sympathize with her in that way, and I like her. But talk about someone that just kept ignoring some pretty large clues that Floyd was involved.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, she really was. And then, I mean, also, you look back, like, she didn't date for 10 years because she's so obsessed with the. You know, the loss of her daughter, obviously, but she doesn't date. And then she finally dates, and especially, like, the guy tricks her into dating him, and then, like, athlete. She's never gonna date ever again.

[Sarah Colonna]

No. It's a tough one to get past. For sure.

[John Ryan]

Was the way that Paul. No, sorry. The way that Floyd went about, like, finding her.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Are you. How do you feel about that? Like, she finds out later on in the book, she's like. He said he found her in that coffee shop that one day, and they shared a cake or whatever it was, carrot cake, whatever it was. And then she finds out in his office that he had been, like, looking into her months prior to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, that.

[John Ryan]

So did he go about it the right. No, obviously he didn't go about it the right way, but, like, how do you feel about that?

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, that's. He. He. He became obsessed. I mean, he was. He figured especially once he knew that Poppy wasn't his, and once he saw on the news that the body was found and he thought he could bring her Poppy. But then he, as in his own words, became obsessed with her instead. He'd, like, studied. I mean, he said before he met her, he'd studied Paul, the way he dressed. He did his right to sort of be this person that she would. That would catch her attention at the coffee shop, But I think. So when I find.

[John Ryan]

When I tried to get your attention. When I tried to get your attention, I did not look into your exes and how they dressed. I just. That's I just went about it my own way.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's a good thing, by the way, because.

[John Ryan]

No problem.

[Sarah Colonna]

You should see one. The. The. The one. The closest one to you, which was several years before you. Because I stopped dating for a while. I mean, it was. Stopped seriously dating, I should say. Boy, am I. Are you. You would look so weird in the way that guy used to dress.

[John Ryan]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

I wasn't great. You're like the exact opposite. I'll be honest. Hopefully he doesn't listen to this podcast, but if he does change your style. No, just kidding. I. Yeah. So, yeah, that's interesting. I mean, it's interesting. Does seem too good to be true. And even when Paul says, looks like he found our family 2.0, you would think you just. You want Laurel's wheels to turn a little faster.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. And she. She's really like, this guy, really love, like, what the kids say now. Love bombs her. He's like a really love bomber. They're dating for like a few weeks and he's like, I can't go on without you. But like, stuff like that, they're just like. Like, oh, like, she'll goes to work and be like, I'll miss you until the second you get home. Like, just like really love bombing her.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. I think he meant it all, though.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, but that's what he said. He said everything after that first interaction was like, authentic.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, but so once she starts and she sees the letter, the mail that's addressed to Noel.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Thinks the name rings a bell. Fine. Finally figures it out, then figures out that her old tutor Ellie's old tutor is his ex girlfriend. Not enough. I. I feel like that alone. I would go, dude, what the.

[John Ryan]

It's also funny, just another thing where Laurel kind of shows that she kind of ignores signs because she talks to her daughter Hannah. And Hannah's like, yeah, remember, like, Poppy used to hate her. She's like, what? No, she didn't. Like, if your daughter's like, uncomfortable, like, really, she was. They talk about how uncomfortable Poppy was with this tutor, Noel.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

And like, there's like, Laurel never reacted to that. Never even, like, put it in her bank. Meanwhile, she's telling her sister she's like, doesn't like her and she's awkward and just. Laurel just nothing.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, well, she. Ellie says that she never told her. Ellie says that she. I think she's the one that calls her the bunny boiler. Right? She calls.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And. But she does. And she.

[John Ryan]

Which is a really funny term by the way, as well.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know thank you. Fatal Attraction for the term Forever. But that she. Even when Ellie makes an excuse to Laurel that she wants to stop being with her, she says, I didn't tell her that she gives. Makes me uncomfortable. I just told her that I didn't need it anymore. So close to my GCSEs. Whatever. Those.

[John Ryan]

I feel like a parent should, like, pick up on that, though. No, I mean, I'm not a parent. I don't know. I mean, I know when Ralphie's sick because he pukes on the floor.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

But I don't like. I don't know when. I guess your daughter is feeling inappropriate with a. A tutor.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right? Well, she didn't. I mean, in Laurel's defense, I guess she didn't tell her. But she even says. And I think Ellie's. I love that we hear Ellie. Ellie's voice throughout it, where she. Because she even says, had I told her, maybe everything would have. Maybe things would have been different. Right. That's how we know immediate. I mean, she's talking about that. So. But. But later on. Yes. When Paul comes around and she figures out that Noel was his ex. And then how she. She takes us. Her and SJ talk. And SJ says that she never saw Noel, you know, never saw the bump when she was so close to doing it. She sees the candlesticks and this is. This is when it's still unraveling, but still, even with the candlestick, she's just like, yeah, no, I know those were mine. And then she writes it off as, oh, I guess Noel gave them the Poppy.

[John Ryan]

And I guess that did kind of like, it tells how Noel kind of like broke into their house to take her bag. And like, that's when she took the candlesticks as well, to try to make it look like Poppy had come back.

[Sarah Colonna]

To kind of give hope Ellie had come back.

[John Ryan]

The. Ellie had the. Ellie said that Ellie had come back.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

And to kind of give the family hope that she's still alive, which is even more up. Like, this woman is like diabolical. She's crazy beyond.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Noel, like. I mean, that. That's like another level of crazy.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. She's a creepy ass cab. And then when. When they go. When she takes Poppy. We don't do the book in order, obviously. No, we're just talking. But when she takes Poppy to the house, when she takes her and she says, you know, you have cousins. I saw them. I went by there already. And then. And she takes her down to the basement and she's like, no, I'm not allowed to go in there. Mom said, never let me go in there. And then, like, I gotta get out of here. I mean that alone. I just. I don't know. I would just be like, I'd have Floyd by the neck at this point and just say, who the fuck are you? And what do you know? Because this can't all be. Even after she sees the newspaper clippings, and that's during. I think that's when they went out to get the Christmas tree or something. And she saw the newspaper clippings of herself in the office. And so she knows that Floyd is. Has looked her up beforehand. And then they come back and then they're kind of sitting around. And then at the very end, a few pages later, she's like, he says something. And then she. She says to herself, now I don't think he is who. He's. Who he claims he is. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Newspaper clippings in the office should have been the last and final tip.

[John Ryan]

Oh, yeah. I mean, she goes on for a while after. I thought that was the end. If you saw newspaper clippings of just a normal person that you're like, doing investigative work on before they start dating you, you'd be like, that. That's really creepy. Like, that's enough.

[Sarah Colonna]

Did you do any of this? Did you do any investigative work on. On me?

[John Ryan]

Yes. I told you that I. I, Like I was hitting on you, like November. Your friend went and saw it. I sent you a little. Little Instagram? No.

[Sarah Colonna]

A little tweet. Tweet back when it was Twitter sent.

[John Ryan]

You a little tweet that I missed you in Seattle because I was. During our bye week. And then nothing. Just nothing. No reply, no. Nothing. You started following me.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, it's funny because what I know and I didn't realize it was because you had a check mark. It was back in the days when you just followed people check mark.

[John Ryan]

You always get like a. You get an. Someone with a check mark started following you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Remember that?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And now people just buy them. So it could be anything. But it was like some weird sign of respect to follow back someone that had the blue check mark. It was professional football player. I guess I'll follow him back. And then. Yeah. And then a little off topic, but. So when John. When John told. If you want to hear the whole story, you can read it in my book, Has Anyone Seen My Pants? By Sarah Colonna. Available on Amazon and. And all quality bookstores and wherever you get your books. That's the whole story's in there. But when our mutual friend. When John asked our mutual friend to hook us up, my friend decided to go onto his Twitter and then she looked down all John's Twitter and she's like, look, there's. He told. He. He tweeted you back in November when you're performing in Seattle. And I was like, oh, my God, I didn't even realize that. Or whatever. Anyway, so John did a little homework on me. I did a little homework on him as well, just via Google. Didn't find much.

[John Ryan]

Oh, why not?

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, just I found that you're a really good football player. There's not like you weren't very. There was not much about your personal life except I remember seeing some Instagram. Some Instagram or tweet with your. One of your dumb ex girlfriends and her hair. Some. But somebody's hair was in her drink or something, which would have upset me too. But anyway.

[John Ryan]

Back on topic. Yeah. Okay, now I forget where we are. Oh, what? Hold on. While we're on that topic, at the very end of the book, Laurel does another messed up thing when she's like. She tells Poppy that her dad is gone because he couldn't handle it. That he lied to you. Like, why you. Why you put it on the kid again, Laurel?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, I didn't even.

[John Ryan]

You'd be like, your dad, he killed himself. Because he's not your dad and because he murdered somebody, he'd be like, no, he. He's. I don't know if she said he's dead or gone. He's gone.

[Sarah Colonna]

She doesn't. Yeah. She doesn't tell him that he's dead. I think she says that he's.

[John Ryan]

But he's gone. He couldn't handle it. That he lied to you. Like, what? This poor girl. I mean, Poppy's already up enough as it is. Make her even more weird.

[Sarah Colonna]

I didn't even think of that. I think in her mind she was like, try thinking it would. Yeah. Make her feel better. But you're right, you're like, oh, so he's gone because of me. Something. And Poppy was even like, well, he didn't have to feel bad. He was just. He was still a good dad. And yeah, she did that. And also I. I thought that there was one interesting thing because at the very end they do a little epilogue where this woman finds a letter from Ellie in a. In one of the books that Noel.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Had let her read. And it went to the Goodwill. Yeah. And so the book. And in it, it talks about I mean, in the. In the letter, she says she was kidnapped by Noel. And my family know I love them. Or it was a sweet little ending, almost a little bit of closure, maybe even though, you know, how horribly she died. But. But I thought it was interesting because Laurel says this is my only sort of critique, I guess. But Laurel says, I never. I haven't told Po. Poppy the extent I told her that she ran or something like she. Did she say that she ran away? She didn't tell her the extent. She did not tell her that she gave birth to her in Noel's basement by God knows what. Right.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

So basically, she says somewhere along the way, she got pregnant when she was missing and had you.

[John Ryan]

Right, Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. But then, yeah, when the woman finds the letter, she says she brings it to the police, and the policewoman's reading it and her. And immediately the woman goes, that's from her, right? The girl that gave. They gave birth in that basement. So it's like the public knows, Right? So Poppy. No way.

[John Ryan]

But this.

[Sarah Colonna]

Poppy's nine now. Ten.

[John Ryan]

But now maybe, like, ten by the end of the book. So it's like, by the time you're 10, I think you can, like, be honest with the kid, no matter how hard. Because, I mean, by the time you're 12, you're gonna find out, you know? I mean, like, the whole town.

[Sarah Colonna]

If the whole town knows.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

You know, this is one of those towns where you go eat the same tea and crumpets. Everyone knows each other. The whole town knows. I'm just saying that I feel like she's gonna find out, so you might need to tell her, even though it's awful. That was my only. Sort of like, how does she not know if everyone else knows? But I digress. Do you? Just give me some more thoughts. Talk to me. What do you got? I know you got a lot of notes.

[John Ryan]

No, I got, you know, the one thing I. I didn't like. Just, you know, I don't like this, but Jake, her older son, his wife or girlfriend, borns Blue. War blue. Of course her name is blue. She warns. She warns Laurel that Floyd has a bad aura to him.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

A dark aura.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

I can understand when people are like, oh, he just, like, rubs me the wrong way, or like, I don't like that guy. He gives me, like, the ick or whatever. I understand that. But when people start talking like, oh, my God, I cannot be with him because his sailor moon is in Jupiter during fall time, and he's a. He's a sagittarius. Like, I can't be with someone like that. And by the way, people, if you don't live in la, this is how these assholes in L. A actually talk. I like, I thought growing up that, you know, people read their horoscope in the paper and it's just fun. It's just like, hahaha. In L. A, people act like it's like rules their life. It drives me crazy. Oh, his dark aura. I can't be with him. He's a Sagittarius. And you know, his Sailor Moon is out of whack.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sailor Moon is out of whack.

[John Ryan]

I don't know what these kids are talking about now. They're like, I don't have one sign or what they call a sign. Is it Sagittarius like a sign?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Ryan]

Now they have multiple.

[Sarah Colonna]

The right.

[John Ryan]

Depending on the. The moon or some shit like this. Anyways, she should have just said, laurel, something about this man isn't right. But now she's like, he has a dark aura and a bad vibe. It's very dark.

[Sarah Colonna]

Agreed.

[John Ryan]

Like really, that's really the only thing that Blue has to do in this whole entire book is just warn Laurel this guy has something wrong with him. It's actually her only role in the entire book.

[Sarah Colonna]

It is. And I think, I mean, I guess that's just Blue's way of saying.

[John Ryan]

I guess he.

[Sarah Colonna]

He rubs me the wrong way. She, like, some of us just get a feeling and she wants to make it seem like she can read and read auras. Yeah. So if. And in the Night, Jake is like, yeah, yeah. I kind of didn't really think that. He kind of rubbed me the wrong way too, or whatever. He says a little more normal. Normal. But yeah, it is funny when you say that, when you say laurels, I mean, that's Blue's only role in the book. How do you feel about Laurels? And mom, what do you think about that storyline?

[John Ryan]

It's kind of interesting.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

I mean, I don't know if it really, like, adds that much to the book. It's a little bit different. I thought it was like, creepy the one time when she goes to leave and she's like, this is the last time you'll see me?

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, yeah, it's. I guess it's just another element or another person.

[John Ryan]

Another person to talk to. Gives you a different someone that's almost like outside of the main cast of characters that she can talk to that, you know, she's also close to her, even though she's not really interacting with the rest of the characters.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And someone else just sort of closed the gap of. Of closure at the end because she passed away basically right after they found Poppy there another time. She says. She says, I have a. I have an amazing photo of the three of us. And she's. And. And she says it should have been four. She's alluding to Ellie. I'm like, what about Hannah?

[John Ryan]

Oh, my God. I mean, Hannah. Her relationship with Hannah's interesting, right? Because kind of the whole book, you're kind of, like, assuming what went wrong, but there's no. Like, they're. They don't really ever be like, oh, like, she did this to me or did that or whatever. Then eventually they kind of talk about it. I think it was like in chapter, like, 53, where she's like, someone talks to Laurel. And being like you. You haven't been, like, basically present for her. You haven't been like, you kind of are still holding on to Ellie and kind of ignoring Hannah a little bit. You're not really being a great mother to her.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's kind of. Paul tells her he's. Yeah, you need to forgive her for not being Ellie. He's like, I don't think she hates you. I don't think this. I don't think that. But I think that you are. Are clearly she. You're just pining for Ellie, and she feels like she can't ever live up to.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. That is kind of why we talked about earlier about how it is kind of weird that even after that apology she makes and kind of, like, able to identify what the problem in the relationship is, she still does it. Does the same thing for the rest of the book. Like, she had this, like, coming to Jesus moment. Like, oh, my God, like, finally. I know why. Like, we have this strange relationship with my daughter. Like, I finally. I finally, finally solved it. And then she's like, oh, yeah, but you know, Ellie, she's way more gorgeous than you, you know, or. Oh, boy. Why would there should be four people in this picture?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Like what? You're still doing it.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're still doing it, even. I mean, at least she went to the wedding, I guess. And she seemed to have a nice time when her. When. Which is an interesting storyline, too, that Laurel. That Hannah is. In her mind, she's this lonely, you know, desperate, a cat lady or whatever. She says, you know, you're gonna. One day, you're gonna. And you're. And really, she's happy as a clam with Theo. And when she sees her for the first time with Theo coming out of the. It was like a grocery store or something. And she sees how happy she was. She's like, she almost didn't recognize her because she said, I haven't seen her smile like that in so long. And she's still not putting together. Oh, she's happy. She's just doom and gloom when she sees me because I have sort of put this on her in. And, and also probably for Hannah, reminds her of, of Ellie too, every time she sees her mom. But she does say at the end that Poppy and Hannah became really close. So at least, at least Hannah's got someone.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, I mean that's. I don't know how you'd ever get over like the loss of a child. Like, my dad died. I think my Grandma was like 79 and she's, she's still alive. She's 97. And she still hasn't gotten over it like the first five years, like she could, like, first five years she was just like her. It seemed like her life was over. Like she was. She just like gave up for like five years because she was just like, I can't. She goes, I never want to be happy again. So I can't imagine if you lose like your 9 year old child or your 15 year old. Sorry, your 15 year old daughter. How crazy that would. I mean, just to lose any child. But we. When, when you still have a child that's that young, like I don't know how you get over it, but in a way you have to get over it in a point where you still are a mother or a parent or a wife to the rest of the people in your family. She ends up really kind of loses them as well.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And it's interesting because she. On that note, I love Paul's character. Oh, I was gonna say one, One thing about the mom that brought me joy was when she goes to visit her mom and she says, I met Bonnie, Paul's partner, Paul's girlfriend's live in girlfriend. And, and she says, was she fat?

[John Ryan]

Yeah. That's such, that's such a great. Like, I don't know, it just seems like. Yes. Yeah. It's like, yeah, mom, like, you got my back no matter what. Like, oh, was she fat? I like that. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

But Paul does say to her, when she says that she lost him, I can't find the exact quote that I had written down. But basically he, she says, he says, you know, you didn't lose me, you still have me. And she says, well, Not. Not really referring to Bonnie. And he. Where did I put the whole notes down? Anyway, it doesn't matter. But he says, you. You'll always have me. And as a. As a. As the father of your children, as a best friend, as someone who's rooting for your happiness. And I thought that was great, because he. He knows too, right? He's like, we didn't. Nothing happened to our marriage. You weren't. And she even says, I was a bitch. I was this, I was that. I stopped caring for you guys. I mean, when she cooks that meal, that first meal for Floyd, and she talks about how she used to do it all the time and how I. Oh, I missed this. And I. And I. And I loved cooking because I loved cooking for my family and nurturing them. But no matter how much I nurtured them, my daughter still ended up a bag of bones, basically. Right. So she's, like, kind of reflecting on that, but then she says, oh, but now I realize cooking actually nurtures the chef, too. Like, it's. She's. She's finding some happiness again. And I don't know why I went back to that. But anyway, when she. When Paul is talking about it and she says, I was. But I lost you because I was such a. I'm sorry I was such a. And he's like, you weren't a. You were. You were a mother.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And I love that.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's why I think they. They were able to have such a good relationship after. And. And. And when she finally starts dating and she actually, you know, we talked about it already on one of the earlier podcasts about what it's like for children going out with their. With all the. All the other members of the. Of the. The step parents and whatnot.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

So if you missed that episode, it was either last week or the week before. But as far as it goes for the book and the actual context of it, that's why they're able to have this kind of relationship is really because of Paul, because he's still. He gets it.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. It'd be. I think their situation. It'd be very hard for, like, a number of things. They obviously got divorced because I think, like, Paul was most likely kind of, like, moving on a little bit quicker than she was in terms of dealing with the death of Ellie. Right. So that'd be hard to go through that divorce, and then you see him, like, move on with another woman, then that'd be even more hard because you're like, what? You're still like, you're like, you're not at the same stage of grief that I am.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

And that's, that's really what kind of obviously drew them apart from each other. But when they come back to like, well, you know, we, you know, we should probably still be together.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right.

[John Ryan]

But we still, we still have this like, friendship relationship. We're still. That's what me too, is like. As a kid or not a kid. Someone that doesn't have kids like you and I. I find it interesting. Not interesting, but it's one of those things where I used to always think, like, if you had a kid with someone, they get divorced. You have to like, be in touch with that person for 18 years, you know, until the kid's 18. But really you're tied together forever.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, forever.

[John Ryan]

You're going to kids graduations, you're going to the grandkids, graduations, the birthdays, your.

[Sarah Colonna]

The weddings. At the end of the wedding, they go to her.

[John Ryan]

You're tied together with someone when you have a kid till. Till the day you die.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

That's just like what I'll. Yeah. It's also what I thought until I have nieces and nephews. I just kind of thought, which is weird because it wasn't like that in me, but I would be like if I had kids, like, you know, the day they turn 18 by, I'm free. You think back, you're like, you're like in the middle of 12th grade when you're 18. Like, you're not, you're not ready to like fly the coop just yet.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And yeah, it's definitely not over. It's not. It is funny because that's true. You think that way sometimes. You're like, is it done when they're 18? No. Like, my parents were still having to interact with each other up until my dad died, but luckily they had a good relationship.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

I also was thinking about the way Hannah. The way at the very beginning of the book when. Because she cleans Hannah's apartment and £30 a week. Yeah. And she goes over there and she's like, there was no cereal bowl in the sink or something. So she knew she didn't come home the night before.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

And so. And so she's like, immediately she's worried about her, starts calling. And that's got to be for the rest of your life. Right. I mean, that's never going to go away if you have a child that's gone missing.

[John Ryan]

No. And I think, I think even if you don't have a child that goes Missing you kind of always constantly, like, worried about your kids. I don't think that ever goes away either. No, I know my. You know, my mom still worried. I know that your mom still worries about us. You hear? My mom worries about everybody. You know, it's just like one of those things that, you know, never really goes way. Also, she's getting. She's paying 30 pounds a week, which is, I think about 40 bucks to have her. We are overpaying our housekeeper if she's paying 30.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

So maybe Laurel could come over here and do a little. Little cleanse.

[Sarah Colonna]

A little, little. Well, I can't think of the words right now. My brain is gone. Anyway, so we had talked earlier about how Poppy is a weird kid. Right. I mean, they set her up that way. And so looking back, once you know who Poppy is and that she was Ellie's and that everyone probably should have figured it out a lot sooner, but they didn't because we. Because we really like the book. So we needed something. We needed it to go on until it ended. But when. Remember when she first. When. When she made them dinner. So Poppy was going to stay at SJ's or SJ was going to stay over with Poppy. SJ canceled. So he had to bring Floyd, had to bring Poppy over for dinner. Maybe that wasn't even true. Maybe sj, who knows? But Poppy comes in, guns ablazing, with questions. So many questions.

[John Ryan]

And Illinois.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And I would. I'd snap. And then I'd snap at Floyd for not snapping a Poppy because he was like. But now when, you know, later, why? Because you're. You're sitting there, you're like, why is sky letting. You know, letting her grill this woman and ask her so many questions. And like, I. I know she's got a child that's gone missing, so it's probably. She probably doesn't want to talk a whole bunch about her family to this nine year old of mine. But. And, And. And I think Laurel even says at one point, he's just. She's just. He's just looking at her in marvel at all these questions she's asking. And finally, when she seems satisfied with a bunch of the answers, she like, squeezes her knee almost like, good girl. And. And now you know why. But I was also thinking, I wanted to ask you this. So remember for that date, for him coming over.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

When she say yeah, he says, will you take down the photo of.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Because she doesn't know about her yet. And it's probably better to save that for later. And you think. Oh, a. I think I would be kind of offended. I would say.

[John Ryan]

Oh, I totally would. I totally.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, you would. Think Laurel would go, I'm not gonna know if she. I mean, if. If we're gonna get to know each other, your daughter has to know that I have a daughter that went missing. And I. And. But then maybe. I mean, once we see that Poppy can't. You know, she's like a dog with a bone. So then you are like, okay, was he protecting Laurel from Poppy? Asking 1 trillion questions about the missing child and Ru. And their whole night's gonna be about that? Or did he think Poppy was gonna look at that and be like, that.

[John Ryan]

Bitch looks like me? Yeah, Mom.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. What do you think?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, that's. I was gonna add. That's the exact same thing I was gonna ask you, because at the time when you first meet, like, that's really weird that she wants, like, that he's asking to move those pictures out of the way because I don't want. I don't want my daughter seeing your dead daughter.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

You know, it's weird, but I think that. I don't know. I don't. I don't know why he did. I think. I don't know. Yeah, maybe, like. Yeah, maybe she would see it, be like, well, that looks just like me. Why is it. But they. But that thing is, Laurel had already been like, they look so. They have, like, a striking resemblance. She already said that right off the bat.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, but Poppy. Poppy is a smart one. Laurel is not. No, I'm just kidding. But Poppy is. But. But I. I think I'm. My interpretation. Now that we know what happened is that he is worried that Poppy's gonna look at that photo and see that sh. That they look just alike, because.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And. Or because I don't think he's been protecting her. I don't think he would have protected her from her asking questions.

[John Ryan]

No, Poppy. Poppy was homeschooled. Do you know any kids that were homeschooled because they have, like, such a bad reputation as being, like, annoying kids? And also, they always say, like, only children are a little weird, too. But, like, you're. You're. Our nephew is an only child. He's not weird. One of my best friends, Terry, he's. Well, he's weird. Never mind. I was going in one direction that I was like, no, he is a weirdo.

[Sarah Colonna]

Not.

[John Ryan]

But, like, an only child who is homeschooled. That's why our next.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's not an only Child. Sj.

[John Ryan]

Oh, right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, is her half sister.

[John Ryan]

She is kind of an only child because she doesn't. She just has like a, you know, some guy's sperm off the. Yeah, you're right though. I guess it's not only child because she grew up with another child. But that's why we're screwed is because all these kids that are coming, going, like leaving college right now, they're all homeschooled for two years during COVID Right. I blame Covid for these weirdo kids walking around this earth right now. All these kids are leaving call. They're all weirdos now. These Gen Z's are Gen Alphas or whatever. They are weird, weird times that we have to live in.

[Sarah Colonna]

If any of you are listening, we're not talking about. You don't.

[John Ryan]

No, no, of course not. Not the listeners.

[Sarah Colonna]

Not the listeners.

[John Ryan]

No.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I. Who was I going to act? I had a question about that.

[John Ryan]

About something about dumb kids walking around this earth now.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, no, it was something in the book. Keep going. Never mind. Go to your next thought. It'll come back to me.

[John Ryan]

No, I'm getting close to the end of my thoughts. Like, I feel like I've gotten most of it out about this book.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sorry. If you're watching the video I keep. I'm. My hair was in my face. That's. I was still listening to John, but I was fixing my hair. Well, yeah, Poppy. So homeschooled. I think, in some ways. Do you think that he chose things like that to shelter her from.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Ever finding out?

[John Ryan]

I. I do.

[Sarah Colonna]

Hearing about Ellie Mack and things like that.

[John Ryan]

I. I think so. I think that's, you know, even, you know, like they were. Even Noel was trying to like, hide her. Didn't they. Didn't they report her to the tr. To the hospital like three days after she was born or something?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah, you know, like, just weird. Yeah, I want to talk about that for a minute. So again, it's. It's fiction. I understand that. But still we just like to talk about things. And like when you. Any. Anytime you watch anything or read anything fictional, you're like, hold on a second. Yeah, you tell me. This lady ended up going to the hospital and. And then said, oh, I was naive. I didn't know I was pregnant. It was my first time. I was a virgin and I just gave a home birth. I thought that was. It went smoothly. She seemed fine and they just looked at me like I was an idiot. But they let me, you know, they bought it. You're gonna Tell me. No one would be like, I think this lady might have kidnapped a child. Not like. I'm not saying they would have figured out that she. What she did that, oh, this baby was born in a basement by a kidnapped. But I would have been like, we gotta look up missing. We gotta do the area to see if there's a missing newborn. That's what. That's what my brain would have done. If this. If this lady, you know, especially the way they describe her in the book as sort of seeming a little off as is, I would be like, well, we just have to have. We just have to have someone talk to you real quick.

[John Ryan]

Do you do a home visit? Do this made me think of this. I've always thought about this, my whole life. Then it kind of made me think about this more. Do you think there's anyone in the USA that's completely. Not just completely undocumented? Not like a. Not like a foreigner, Undocumented like that. I'm saying, like, someone who is maybe, like, born on a farm, never had, like, a Social Security number, worked on the farm, like the government doesn't even know they exist.

[Sarah Colonna]

Maybe.

[John Ryan]

What. What if they got murdered? They just have, like. No, that person never existed.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, sounds nice, but I was.

[John Ryan]

I think it. I think it probably would have happened, like, back in the day, like in the, like, the 20s or 30s, like back where I'm from. And you grew up in the middle of nowhere, like, on a farm, and you just, like, on a farm your whole life. You probably never really ever go into the city or whatever. You'd be someone that's completely undocumented human being your whole life. Like.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Like. Like, like, like Poppy was. For three days.

[Sarah Colonna]

For three days? Well, yeah. I mean, possible.

[John Ryan]

Okay. Do you think, like, Floyd killing Noel after he found out the truth was, like, excessive?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. I mean, he says he didn't mean to. I kind of believe him. He says he just, like, was blind with rage, and then she hit her head and that was that.

[John Ryan]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

I. I kind of believe he probably didn't mean to kill her, that it was.

[John Ryan]

Yeah, but if you don't mean, like, for me, if I, like if I got in a fight with someone, I punched them, their head hit the ground or something, I would be like. I'd call the police right away and be like, I, I. Yeah, I wouldn't burn them the flower bed.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, I don't think Floyd was. Was thinking clearly most of the time. He seemed a little up on his own, too. But I agree. Yeah. Like, psa, if you. If you go at someone and they fall over in their chair and hit their head on their floor and die, maybe call the cops instead of burying them in your flower garden. But Floyd gonna. Floyd, right? Yeah, Floyd gonna. Floyd.

[John Ryan]

Floyd. Floyd being Floyd, I'll tell you that much. He Floyded up this whole book.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do you think. Were you surprised at the part where she tells him he was not the father?

[John Ryan]

Oh, yeah, a little bit.

[Sarah Colonna]

Did you think?

[John Ryan]

I kind of. I mean, I kind of. It made me at peace a little bit because I know that, like, Floyd didn't rape a 15 year old.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, no, I know. No, I never thought, you know, we never thought he did, but we. So. But what? Because she goes to Floyd's dressed up and comes back and Ellie knows something happened, but she doesn't know what. But she had, you know, plugged it in, inseminated, whatever you call it.

[John Ryan]

Right. Awful turkey baster.

[Sarah Colonna]

Turkey basted her. So I'm just saying I. Unless I'm. Unless I missed it or unless I'm misremembering. They. She didn't tell us that. Lisa Jewell did not tell us that she was in there with some sperm off the Internet. So in my. I thought she had somehow gotten Floyd's. I didn't know how, but she's so fucking crazy, right? So that's what I thought. She did. And I don't know if I missed. I don't know if I just missed a line where they. I don't know if I'm an idiot here, but I thought that it. I thought she was Floyd's until she told him she wasn't. You did, too. Okay.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. I think that was for us to find out at that moment.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. That's what I thought, too. And then he, you know, he didn't believe her for a long time or he didn't want to know because it was the. He didn't have a good relationship with sj, who we haven't really talked about. I liked her character. I mean, she. She just. See, I mean, she was just kind of there, but she was there.

[John Ryan]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Information. And she was also the. The. The reason that Noel went to the links that she did because she knew that he wanted some daughter to just dote over and that that would trap him. But. Yeah.

[John Ryan]

Why didn't SJ ever speak up and been like, dad, I know that's not your kid, or.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, she didn't know.

[John Ryan]

I know, but I know. Well, she had been like, I know that. I know that. What's her. Noel Was never pregnant. She never confronts him, right?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, she. She even says I. When she tells Laurel that she. She's like, I don't know if I was just seeing things. I don't know if I'm crazy. But then. And then she. But she. At that lunch after saying I never saw her with the bump and then saying, don't you think she rather looks like Poppy, Looks like Ellie because she'd done all this research or whatever. I'm like another case. I'd be like, hey, Floyd. Hey, what's up?

[John Ryan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sarah Colonna]

But then the world over sooner.

[John Ryan]

Yeah. Well, Laurel ignores a lot of red flags, really. Red frill eggs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, that's true.

[John Ryan]

Oh, Laurel, you got anything else?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know. I don't think so. I would.

[John Ryan]

Do you like. Do you like the way it ended?

[Sarah Colonna]

I liked that there. Yes. I like that there was a little. A little hello from Ellie at the end. I thought it was kind of a touching ending. I like that Hannah and Theo got married. You can definitely see where somebody like that would trauma bond and they seem very. And again, that's when she was actually happy. So. Yeah, I like the way it ended. I mean, I don't. I. It was. I was. I. I knew that Floyd was get involved wake before Laurel did, but because we were reading it, when was it, you know, But I think I didn't expect it to be the what it was. So I loved the twist. I thought. I think Floyd was. Was a effed up human being who thought he was doing the right thing somehow and then, like he said, fell in love with her and didn't expect her to. Didn't expect it to turn into this. So yeah, five vodkas out of five.

[John Ryan]

I like a good epilogue. Can really bring a whole book together, you know?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Yeah, it can.

[John Ryan]

And then I really did a little bit, you know. So I. Yeah, I give it like a solid 10 out of 12 beers. Motion Canadians.

[Sarah Colonna]

What would you. What would it have taken to get 12 out of 12? Or does nobody get 12 out of 12?

[John Ryan]

It needs to be like a little more beach vibey. If it had taken.

[Sarah Colonna]

If it had taken place dead bodies.

[John Ryan]

If it had taken place on Nantucket, it would have been a 12. It would have taken West Palm Beach. It would have been a 12.

[Sarah Colonna]

Fair enough.

[John Ryan]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, well, you guys, I hope you enjoyed our discussion and we really, yeah, loved this book. Thank you guys for listening and being on the journey with us. We always listen to recommendations. A lot of you are putting them up into book listeners, so. And I will let you know in a couple weeks with the June read is.

[John Ryan]

Oh my God, we're talking about June.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know but people like there's libraries. There's. So John's Pick next month. Beach Fives by Susan Mallory is a newer book so I know it's not maybe accessible at all libraries as easily. But you don't forget you have until the end of May. So put yourself on a list and if it's a really long wait list, I know of course if you it is on Kindle and, and paperback and whatnot. But yeah, and then there's that lit. I think it's called the Libby app. I was told about that your library gets you audibles. So I know it's available there too. I saw that in the book list spinners. But that our, our Facebook group is a great resource for if you're looking for all that stuff and also to drop suggestions. Follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Patreon for the bonus content. Every month we're probably going to add some new stuff to it too. Maybe just some videos through, you know, once a week or something that we do at home and, and whatnot. So thank you guys and we will see you next Monday.

[John Ryan]

Bye.

[Sarah Colonna]

The Book List, the book lisp, the book list, the book lisp, the book list.