A priest watched Eddie Diaz pick up a juice box, put it back down, and said, “My gay brother in Christ.” We have never recovered and neither has Eddie, frankly.

Han, Cil, and Rachel present: a revisit of our completely unserious, extremely serious, Season 8 forensic examination of everything single thing Eddie Diaz has or has not put in his mouth. And we do mean everything. The man sucked on a ring pop right in front of Buck Buckley while maintaining direct eye contact… mind you Buck’s almost ex-boyfriend was watching this happen in 4k. He shoved an entire scone in his mouth to hide his move to El Paso, and get those baked goods while the getting’s good amiright?

There was allegedly a glazed donut in a deleted scene and we definitely have some thoughts about that. Helena Diaz cornered a grown man in a parking lot about his groceries and it somehow explains his entire personality. We picked up every crumb from Season 8 and then Season 9 came out and handed us dozens of cookies and we are choosing to perceive that as a personal gift.

This episode contains: juice, ring pops, scones, crumpets, protein cookies, one glazed donut we'll never fully see, and more repressed yearning per square inch than should be legally allowed in a network procedural.

Bring a cookie with you, you’re going to be hungry.

📔 References Mentioned

🫂Can Buck Actually Bake? – Check out our Patreon-exclusive Best Buddies Mini-Segment here!

🐤 Behind the Scenes Photos On the Set of 8x05 Masks, rguzmanHQ on Twitter

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Music by DIV!NITY

Chapters

(00:00:00) Intro

(00:01:15) Welcome to the Juice Bar

(00:02:05) What’s on the Menu - Juice Theory 101

(00:04:44) Fruit Leather & Cupcakes - 8x01

(00:10:08) Ring Pop & Glazed Donut - 8x05

(00:22:03) Juice, Water, & Joy - 8x06

(00:27:47) Buck’s Baking Spiral Commences - 8x07

(00:31:53) Protein Chocolate Chip Cookies - 8x10

(00:36:17) El Paso Coffee & Energy Drinks - 8x12

(00:40:36) Helena Diaz’s Sugar-Free Groceries - 8x13

(00:47:28) The Last Hurrah’s Crumpet - 8x16

(00:53:09) Avoidance Coffee & Tia Pepa’s Cooking - 8x17

(00:58:12) Just Desserts - Juice Theory Beyond Season 8

(01:02:31) Take a Buddie With You & Outro