The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Episode: Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Release Date: March 18, 2025

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast, host Candace Cameron Bure sits down with special guests Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure to delve into the nuanced world of dating, particularly within the framework of faith, family values, and personal growth. Titled "She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18," the conversation navigates through personal experiences, contemporary dating challenges, and the importance of maintaining one's convictions in relationships.

1. Family Rules and Their Impact on Dating

Candace shares her upbringing under strict family rules that prohibited dating until the age of 18. This foundation, influenced by her father’s analogy comparing valuing human relationships to appreciating a sports car only after earning it, fostered a sense of respect and intentionality in her approach to dating.

Candace Cameron Bure [06:52]: "How much more is a soul worth. And so that was kind of his philosophy with not letting us date."

Conversely, Natasha discusses a more lenient experience, highlighting the differences in her family dynamics and the early onset of her dating experiences.

Natasha Bure [08:10]: "I dated whoever I wanted when I was young."

The contrasting backgrounds of Candace and Natasha set the stage for exploring how family rules shape one's approach to relationships.

2. Modern Dating Dynamics: Social Media and Dating Apps

The conversation shifts to the modern landscape of dating, emphasizing the role of social media and dating apps. Candace reflects on how these platforms have become primary avenues for meeting potential partners, especially post-high school.

Candace Cameron Bure [12:25]: "Once you graduate from high school, you don't go to college. Where else are you gonna look?"

Natasha discusses the pros and cons of online dating, including the formation of deep bonds without physical presence but also the challenges of trust and authenticity.

Natasha Bure [14:05]: "When you're not with someone in person and that's kind of all you have to base it off of, then it just becomes this toxic hole."

The guests highlight how technology has transformed dating into a more accessible yet complex venture, requiring new strategies for maintaining genuine connections.

3. The Effect of Dating on Existing Friendships

Candace candidly shares her experience of how entering a serious relationship impacted her long-term friendship with her best friend, Carol. The shift from spending all her time with Carol to dedicating significant time to her relationship with Austin presented challenges in balancing friendships and romantic commitments.

Candace Cameron Bure [22:04]: "I am that friend that just kind of was around, but constantly with my boyfriend because... I was only hurting myself because one person's not meant to be everything for you."

Natasha echoes similar sentiments, discussing how romantic relationships can both enrich and strain existing friendships, depending on the individuals' ability to maintain balance.

Natasha Bure [20:32]: "Dating has affected my friendships for the good and the bad."

This segment underscores the importance of nurturing multiple relationships to prevent one from overshadowing the others.

4. Setting and Maintaining Physical and Emotional Boundaries

A significant portion of the discussion centers on establishing and upholding boundaries in relationships. Candace and Austin detail their proactive approach to setting boundaries to prevent slipping into physical intimacy before marriage, including practical measures like keeping doors open and involving family members to foster accountability.

Candace Cameron Bure [26:27]: "We have to tell his dad, which is so embarrassing... we need someone on the outside to pull us higher and to hold us accountable."

Natasha shares her struggles with boundaries, emphasizing the role of accountability and community support in maintaining personal convictions without succumbing to shame.

Natasha Bure [24:17]: "Accountability with my friends that are aware of... being in the loop... looking out for you."

The guests emphasize that boundaries are not just about restrictions but about fostering healthy, respectful relationships grounded in mutual respect and shared values.

5. The Role of Accountability in Healthy Relationships

Both Candace and Natasha highlight the critical role of accountability partners in their relationships. Candace discusses involving family members to ensure adherence to their relationship boundaries, while Natasha emphasizes the importance of friends who provide support without judgment.

Natasha Bure [33:01]: "If you have people in the loop within your relationship, it is so helpful because you also know that someone else is looking out for you."

Ali Schnacki reinforces this notion, noting the significance of external support in maintaining relationship health and personal integrity.

6. Family Involvement in Dating Processes

The episode delves into the dynamics of family involvement in the dating lives of the guests. Natasha recounts a poignant experience where her mother’s disapproval of her middle school boyfriend led to lasting impacts on her openness about her relationships.

Natasha Bure [37:08]: "I was crushed... It shaped your viewpoint, and for years after whether or not you would even talk to us about your relationship."

Candace shares her seamless integration of family in her dating life through her church community, illustrating different approaches to family involvement and support.

Candace Cameron Bure [43:13]: "If your dad, your brother, they're really seeking God and they want the best for you, they just know guys."

The conversation highlights that while family involvement can vary, it plays a pivotal role in shaping one's dating experience and relationship choices.

7. Encouragement for Those Who Haven’t Dated

Addressing listeners who may never have dated, Candace and Natasha offer heartfelt advice centered on personal growth and patience. Candace encourages becoming the person one desires to be with, trusting in God's timing, and valuing the current season of singleness.

Candace Cameron Bure [45:07]: "Become the person that you want to be with... until then, there's such a purpose in your single season."

Natasha echoes the importance of patience and self-discovery, emphasizing that yearning for a relationship should not lead to compromising one's values or happiness.

Natasha Bure [46:20]: "Continue in being patient and... not conforming just for the sake of being in a relationship."

Their collective wisdom reinforces that true fulfillment comes from within and from a steadfast relationship with God, rather than the pursuit of a romantic partner.

8. Strengthening Relationships with God Through Daily Habits

The guests conclude by discussing how cultivating daily spiritual practices strengthens one's relationship with God, which in turn enriches romantic relationships. Natasha highlights the significance of consistency in prayer, community involvement, and mindful consumption of media.

Natasha Bure [49:58]: "Consistency within prayer within community... those small habits make the biggest difference."

Candace introduces the practice of prayer walks, sharing how immersing herself in nature enhances her spiritual connection and provides clarity in her relationship journey.

Candace Cameron Bure [50:47]: "I've been getting outside and going on prayer walks... I just wake up in the morning and I do a walk around the block without any music."

Ali emphasizes the foundational practice of daily prayer and Bible reading as essential habits for maintaining a strong relationship with God.

Ali Schnacki [52:04]: "Pray first thing in the morning... read the Bible daily."

These practices serve as pillars that support personal growth and healthy, spiritually-aligned relationships.

Conclusion

In this episode, Candace Cameron Bure, Allie Schnacky, and Natasha Bure offer a heartfelt exploration of dating within a faith-based context. Through personal anecdotes, practical advice, and spiritual insights, they underscore the importance of intentionality, boundaries, accountability, and patience in cultivating meaningful relationships. The conversation serves as a beacon for listeners navigating the complexities of modern dating while striving to uphold their values and spiritual convictions.

Notable Quotes:

• Candace Cameron Bure [06:52]: "How much more is a soul worth."

• Natasha Bure [08:10]: "I dated whoever I wanted when I was young."

• Candace Cameron Bure [22:04]: "I was only hurting myself because one person's not meant to be everything for you."

• Natasha Bure [14:05]: "When you're not with someone in person... it just becomes this toxic hole."

• Candace Cameron Bure [26:27]: "We need someone on the outside to pull us higher and to hold us accountable."

• Candace Cameron Bure [45:07]: "Become the person that you want to be with."

• Ali Schnacki [52:04]: "Pray first thing in the morning... read the Bible daily."

This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't had the chance to listen while preserving the integrity and depth of the original conversation.