Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18

Summary

The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Episode: Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18
Release Date: March 18, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast, host Candace Cameron Bure sits down with special guests Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure to delve into the nuanced world of dating, particularly within the framework of faith, family values, and personal growth. Titled "She Wasn't Allowed to Date Until She Was 18," the conversation navigates through personal experiences, contemporary dating challenges, and the importance of maintaining one's convictions in relationships.

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1. Family Rules and Their Impact on Dating

Candace shares her upbringing under strict family rules that prohibited dating until the age of 18. This foundation, influenced by her father’s analogy comparing valuing human relationships to appreciating a sports car only after earning it, fostered a sense of respect and intentionality in her approach to dating.

Candace Cameron Bure [06:52]: "How much more is a soul worth. And so that was kind of his philosophy with not letting us date."

Conversely, Natasha discusses a more lenient experience, highlighting the differences in her family dynamics and the early onset of her dating experiences.

Natasha Bure [08:10]: "I dated whoever I wanted when I was young."

The contrasting backgrounds of Candace and Natasha set the stage for exploring how family rules shape one's approach to relationships.

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2. Modern Dating Dynamics: Social Media and Dating Apps

The conversation shifts to the modern landscape of dating, emphasizing the role of social media and dating apps. Candace reflects on how these platforms have become primary avenues for meeting potential partners, especially post-high school.

Candace Cameron Bure [12:25]: "Once you graduate from high school, you don't go to college. Where else are you gonna look?"

Natasha discusses the pros and cons of online dating, including the formation of deep bonds without physical presence but also the challenges of trust and authenticity.

Natasha Bure [14:05]: "When you're not with someone in person and that's kind of all you have to base it off of, then it just becomes this toxic hole."

The guests highlight how technology has transformed dating into a more accessible yet complex venture, requiring new strategies for maintaining genuine connections.

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3. The Effect of Dating on Existing Friendships

Candace candidly shares her experience of how entering a serious relationship impacted her long-term friendship with her best friend, Carol. The shift from spending all her time with Carol to dedicating significant time to her relationship with Austin presented challenges in balancing friendships and romantic commitments.

Candace Cameron Bure [22:04]: "I am that friend that just kind of was around, but constantly with my boyfriend because... I was only hurting myself because one person's not meant to be everything for you."

Natasha echoes similar sentiments, discussing how romantic relationships can both enrich and strain existing friendships, depending on the individuals' ability to maintain balance.

Natasha Bure [20:32]: "Dating has affected my friendships for the good and the bad."

This segment underscores the importance of nurturing multiple relationships to prevent one from overshadowing the others.

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4. Setting and Maintaining Physical and Emotional Boundaries

A significant portion of the discussion centers on establishing and upholding boundaries in relationships. Candace and Austin detail their proactive approach to setting boundaries to prevent slipping into physical intimacy before marriage, including practical measures like keeping doors open and involving family members to foster accountability.

Candace Cameron Bure [26:27]: "We have to tell his dad, which is so embarrassing... we need someone on the outside to pull us higher and to hold us accountable."

Natasha shares her struggles with boundaries, emphasizing the role of accountability and community support in maintaining personal convictions without succumbing to shame.

Natasha Bure [24:17]: "Accountability with my friends that are aware of... being in the loop... looking out for you."

The guests emphasize that boundaries are not just about restrictions but about fostering healthy, respectful relationships grounded in mutual respect and shared values.

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5. The Role of Accountability in Healthy Relationships

Both Candace and Natasha highlight the critical role of accountability partners in their relationships. Candace discusses involving family members to ensure adherence to their relationship boundaries, while Natasha emphasizes the importance of friends who provide support without judgment.

Natasha Bure [33:01]: "If you have people in the loop within your relationship, it is so helpful because you also know that someone else is looking out for you."

Ali Schnacki reinforces this notion, noting the significance of external support in maintaining relationship health and personal integrity.

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6. Family Involvement in Dating Processes

The episode delves into the dynamics of family involvement in the dating lives of the guests. Natasha recounts a poignant experience where her mother’s disapproval of her middle school boyfriend led to lasting impacts on her openness about her relationships.

Natasha Bure [37:08]: "I was crushed... It shaped your viewpoint, and for years after whether or not you would even talk to us about your relationship."

Candace shares her seamless integration of family in her dating life through her church community, illustrating different approaches to family involvement and support.

Candace Cameron Bure [43:13]: "If your dad, your brother, they're really seeking God and they want the best for you, they just know guys."

The conversation highlights that while family involvement can vary, it plays a pivotal role in shaping one's dating experience and relationship choices.

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7. Encouragement for Those Who Haven’t Dated

Addressing listeners who may never have dated, Candace and Natasha offer heartfelt advice centered on personal growth and patience. Candace encourages becoming the person one desires to be with, trusting in God's timing, and valuing the current season of singleness.

Candace Cameron Bure [45:07]: "Become the person that you want to be with... until then, there's such a purpose in your single season."

Natasha echoes the importance of patience and self-discovery, emphasizing that yearning for a relationship should not lead to compromising one's values or happiness.

Natasha Bure [46:20]: "Continue in being patient and... not conforming just for the sake of being in a relationship."

Their collective wisdom reinforces that true fulfillment comes from within and from a steadfast relationship with God, rather than the pursuit of a romantic partner.

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8. Strengthening Relationships with God Through Daily Habits

The guests conclude by discussing how cultivating daily spiritual practices strengthens one's relationship with God, which in turn enriches romantic relationships. Natasha highlights the significance of consistency in prayer, community involvement, and mindful consumption of media.

Natasha Bure [49:58]: "Consistency within prayer within community... those small habits make the biggest difference."

Candace introduces the practice of prayer walks, sharing how immersing herself in nature enhances her spiritual connection and provides clarity in her relationship journey.

Candace Cameron Bure [50:47]: "I've been getting outside and going on prayer walks... I just wake up in the morning and I do a walk around the block without any music."

Ali emphasizes the foundational practice of daily prayer and Bible reading as essential habits for maintaining a strong relationship with God.

Ali Schnacki [52:04]: "Pray first thing in the morning... read the Bible daily."

These practices serve as pillars that support personal growth and healthy, spiritually-aligned relationships.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Candace Cameron Bure, Allie Schnacky, and Natasha Bure offer a heartfelt exploration of dating within a faith-based context. Through personal anecdotes, practical advice, and spiritual insights, they underscore the importance of intentionality, boundaries, accountability, and patience in cultivating meaningful relationships. The conversation serves as a beacon for listeners navigating the complexities of modern dating while striving to uphold their values and spiritual convictions.

Notable Quotes:

• Candace Cameron Bure [06:52]: "How much more is a soul worth."

• Natasha Bure [08:10]: "I dated whoever I wanted when I was young."

• Candace Cameron Bure [22:04]: "I was only hurting myself because one person's not meant to be everything for you."

• Natasha Bure [14:05]: "When you're not with someone in person... it just becomes this toxic hole."

• Candace Cameron Bure [26:27]: "We need someone on the outside to pull us higher and to hold us accountable."

• Candace Cameron Bure [45:07]: "Become the person that you want to be with."

• Ali Schnacki [52:04]: "Pray first thing in the morning... read the Bible daily."

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This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't had the chance to listen while preserving the integrity and depth of the original conversation.

Transcript

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh my God.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay, what is that?

[Ali Schnacki]

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

We are back.

[Ali Schnacki]

We're back and I feel really privileged for today's conversation that I get to be sitting in the room with the two of you because. Talking about dating.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

Talking about dating. And, you know, I feel like as a mom, there's lots of things that you've shared with me, Natasha, but I feel like there's a lot that you probably haven't. So that's why I feel privileged to kind of get inside your heads as to what dating is like today, because it's so different from when I was young and dating. And I honestly didn't really date very much because I met Papa, I met Val at 18, and I was married at 20, so there wasn't a whole lot of dating going on even before that. So I'm just so curious to have this conversation and talk about it. So let's get into it.

[Natasha Bure]

What is getting to it?

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay, I won't try to do it because apparently I can't. What. What is dating like today?

[Natasha Bure]

A nightmare. No, I'm just kidding.

[Ali Schnacki]

A nightmare.

[Natasha Bure]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I would love to hear what you have to say, Natasha, because I. Austin was my first boyfriend, so I didn't date that much either.

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But honestly, I learned so much about, like, kind of the unrealistic expectations that we're taught to have when looking for a significant other, especially in the church. And I think that's really what I have to add in this conversation, because it's things I wish people would have told me.

[Ali Schnacki]

Got it.

[Natasha Bure]

I've had my ups and downs. Dating. What else to say?

[Ali Schnacki]

You've had your. Okay, so let's. Let. Let me start here with the conversation, because I think if you're. If you're of faith. And that's going to establish partly what dating is looking like in terms of. Are you dating to get to know people? Are you dating to have. Just have a boyfriend and feel what it feels like to be with a boyfriend? Or are you dating with the intention of looking for your. Your partner, your spouse for life? And this can change at different ages. So kind of walk me through where you guys were at what age?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, Honestly. So growing up, I shared this on one of the previous podcasts, but I was never allowed to date. My parents had a rule in our house where until we were 18, we were not allowed to go on a date. And honestly, a lot of kids probably didn't like that. I personally loved it. My dad, he always. He's actually here right now, but he always gave us this analogy of a sports car, and he said, okay, because I'd have conversations. If I liked a guy, I'd be like, oh, like, why? You know? And he always said, a sports car. Like, if a. If a young kid went into a Ferrari store and was like, I want to buy a Ferrari, the people would look at him and laugh him at the store because he can't afford it. He can't afford to buy that car. But once he, like, actually works hard and he applies himself and he learns, like, what it takes to actually be able to afford that car when he has it, he's going to treat it with so much more respect. He'll learn how to drive it. Like, it won't just be something that he gets really fast because everyone can afford affordable cars, you know? But how much more precious is a human being? Is basically what he used to tell us. Like, if a car is worth that much, how much more are you worth? How much more is a soul worth? And so that was kind of his philosophy with not letting us date.

[Ali Schnacki]

Were you allowed to hang out in groups, though, with guys that you like? Just. There had to be other people around.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. And honestly, that was a huge blessing, too, because it wasn't like my parents were to another extreme where I couldn't even have guy friends. I was constantly surrounded with guys older than me and my age, especially because I had older brothers.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And really, it took the pressure off of me, too, because if a guy liked you, you had that out. Like, oh, I can't date. I can just be friends with everyone.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right, Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And in that, I think it really showed me through those friendships what I was looking for and what I did not want in a future relationship, whether it was just through my friendships with guys or because I was watching them in relationships and how they treated girls and they felt safe to tell me, and I thought, never. Right.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah. So just. Yeah, watch and learn.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

A lot of people have this mentality, like, you have to go on a ton of dates to figure out what you want and don't want. But for me, that just wasn't my story. I felt like I really learned through my friends, my brothers.

[Ali Schnacki]

Well, that. I mean, that. That's the. I think that's the best way to do it and Glad you had that experience. Natasha, what about you?

[Natasha Bure]

I did not have that experience at.

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay, do tell.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, I mean, I think when I.

[Ali Schnacki]

When were you allowed to date?

[Natasha Bure]

I. I don't know. I dated whoever I wanted when I was young.

[Ali Schnacki]

Like, wait, what do you mean? We had a rule, too, but I.

[Natasha Bure]

Still had a boyfriend. Like, I had a Boyfriend in middle school, I'm pretty sure.

[Ali Schnacki]

Well, yeah, we. But that you guys didn't.

[Natasha Bure]

I didn't tell you, like, I didn't. You weren't allowing me to, but you.

[Ali Schnacki]

Can allow me to go out on a date. We didn't say you couldn't like guys. But what was the dating age in our.

[Natasha Bure]

I think it was 16. Yeah. May. Yeah. I remember a guy asked me when I was in middle school if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes. I wasn't actually, you know, dating you like somebody and whatever. I don't. I think when you get older, the dating scene is a lot different in terms of what you're looking for in the seriousness. And for me then, honestly after that, the next time that I called somebody my boyfriend was two years ago. So I mean, similarly in that, like, I knew what I was looking for and I never wanted to label someone as my boyfriend unless I saw, you know, this type of potential that I was going to be with them for a long time. I do and will say, having dated, I mean, I don't want to use the word casually because I'm not like just casually going on a bunch of dates. But if I go on a date or two, you know, with someone, it did actually give me a lot of perspective of things that I did enjoy and things that I didn't enjoy. And I feel like a lot of times, even from parents or people around you, there's a lot of pressure of like, this is the specific type of person like you should be with, especially in our family because all the personalities are very similar. And so it was always like, this is who they wanted me to be with. And maybe I dated people that were like that and then there were others that I didn't and honestly gave me a lot of perspective to go out with the people, personality wise, that maybe wasn't their idea of who I should have been with or what they thought would be best for me. And it gave me a lot of perspective. So I think that going on dates, at least for me, was helpful because it really showed me. But I know, again, that's not the case.

[Ali Schnacki]

But at that age, at like 18, are you. And not a little different with you, Ali, because you've known Austin. I mean, even though you've been dating, but it's like eyes were set and kind of focused. But for Natasha, who didn't meet that person super young, what was the focus of dating? Was it really just to get to know people or did you even have marriage in mind? Like Ooh, this could be my husband at 18. Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah. I think I always had it in the back of my mind, obviously, that, like, if I'm going to be with someone, I'm going to be in a relationship. Then, yes, that's the end goal. But I think that's why I didn't end up getting boyfriend until so much later, was because I just never saw that potential with anybody. So if I'm going on a date or two with someone and I like them, that's great. I can have a crush, I can like someone and I can hang out with them. But if I'm saying I'm in a relationship with you, that's a lot different. And the weight that that carries is more significant.

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay, so how, again, Allie, I know your, what, your boyfriend is your brother's best friend. So that's how you guys met. But. Yes, tell me. I mean, you can speak to this Natasha, but, Ali, tell me, even within your friend groups, how are you guys meeting most of the guys that you potentially date? Are you meeting through other friend groups? Are you meeting through dating apps? Have you tried dating apps? What does that scene look like with your age?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So for me, I've known Austin since I was 14, but I definitely did not know that I was going to end up with Austin since I was 14. It was one of those things. It was. I had a crush on him when I was 14, and then we had this falling out and didn't talk to each other for, like, seven years.

[Ali Schnacki]

Oh, wow.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. And it was really ended up just being. We liked each other. One of those stupid things. Right?

[Ali Schnacki]

So cute. Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But, you know, God has his timing for everything. But I remember. Natasha, I love when you talk because you're so relatable, but one of the ways I know for me that me and my best friend would constantly look for people was on social media. It sounds so ridiculous, but, I mean, once you graduate from high school, you don't go to college. Where else are you gonna look? There's really nowhere to go for kids our age anymore. Like, where. When you're kind of in that college age group, there's not really a lot of youth groups. You've kind of outgrown youth groups. Even if you're trying to meet people in church, if they're not there on Sunday, what are you gonna do? And so I have some friends that have met their spouse on dating apps. I personally have never done that, but, yeah, I'd find people on social media.

[Ali Schnacki]

Does social media, though, in and of itself feel Overwhelming because they can live anywhere where I feel like a dating app. I mean, they can live anywhere too. But you might have put your preferences in that you'd like someone in the same state as you. But does that feel overwhelming to think like, oh, maybe I like this person from social media, but they live five states away.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So what was overwhelming to me wasn't the thought that they lived far away. Only because I wasn't really thinking like that when I was looking on social media. I more just thought they were cute. I knew they loved God and I wanted to make a connection. Sometimes they didn't love God, I just thought they were cute, you know, and you're just like, yeah, they learn to convert. You know, I haven't heard that you win some, you lose some. But I think FaceTime is something that is actually a blessing. My best friend met her significant other actually through a video game.

[Ali Schnacki]

Wow.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So weird.

[Natasha Bure]

That's.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

She played a video game for a week, met her husband on that game, and ended up FaceTiming with him for, I think it was like a year straight. Got to know him in a way that wasn't physical, formed a really deep bond, and now they're like married together, live in Florida, like having the best marriage. And I think that's. There's pros and cons. So dating online, I think especially when it's far away, you form that intimate connection without that almost like opportunity for you to slip into things you're not supposed to if you are a Christian, trying to hold those morals. But I think for me, something that was really hard with dating online or looking for people online was I had too much information about what they were doing, and so it created trust issues. I don't know if you dealt with this.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, for sure. I think that in a similar way, when I would see somebody on social media, it didn't really ever cross my mind if they lived super far away. I don't think that was ever something, you know, that was like banging on my head. But at the same time, being able to communicate with them without seeing them in person created a very different, I don't know, just beginning to friendship relationship, whatever that looks like, because you really get to know them for, number one, what they're telling you. And there's not that like necessarily physical chemistry between the two of you in person. But then at the same time, because it's all online, it can become very toxic with social media about, like seeing where they are or not where they. That sounds so creepy.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But you know what?

[Ali Schnacki]

I Mean, but it's like, what they're.

[Natasha Bure]

Up to, and then it becomes like, what is reality? And then what's on? Like, I. I can't tell the difference.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Or Natasha, the girls, they're following.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, totally. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's just everything is out there.

[Ali Schnacki]

For you to see.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right.

[Natasha Bure]

And when you're not with someone in person and that's kind of all you have to base it off of, then it just becomes this toxic hole. You just kind of dig yourself.

[Ali Schnacki]

So when you've met people that you're like, okay, I'm interested in you, we're kind of flirting. We're talking. How does the communication between the two of you look today? Are you mostly texting? Are you mostly FaceTiming? Are you meeting in person?

[Natasha Bure]

Well, I think it definitely depends on, obviously, if you're meeting that per. Are you seeing, like, through social media if you meet that person?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, but. But anywhere. Like, just what is your communication? Because back in my day, as I talked about, like, we had the phone and you had to actually be home, or there was an answering machine, which you could, like, play the message.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I had to do this in your grandma voice.

[Ali Schnacki]

I know.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Back in my day.

[Ali Schnacki]

Back in my day, no. So it's like, hi, it's Val. You know, call me when you get back from work.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Sounds like fun.

[Ali Schnacki]

And that's it. And then I pick up the phone, call him, but he would have to be home, like, and pick the phone. So you. You had to have that connection. Or we're meeting up in person and we're talking. Like, There was no FaceTime. There was no texting. So dating, you really had to be available and present and make time for that person. They couldn't just catch you on the fly. It's not like a text pops up while you're at the mall and you're like. I mean, we did have pagers back in the day, so do you guys even know what a pager is?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

The little thing that you have, like, on your pants?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So funny.

[Ali Schnacki]

It's like the size of a little AirPod box, and you would just clip it on your belt. And I had, like, my parents had the phone number, my best friend and a couple of people, and then their phone number would pop up, or we. Or they would. You would type in 4, 1, 1. And it just meant, like, call me. I got some, like, info for you.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That's so fun.

[Ali Schnacki]

Stuff like that. So that was like the. I think When I was 18, I had a Pager, which is crazy. But the point being, you had to make time for that person. So what does that time look like for you guys? Dating people in or in relationship, even if it's a new relationship?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I actually am curious about a question, Natasha. Have you ever been asked in person?

[Natasha Bure]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

On a date?

[Natasha Bure]

I've been asked probably, yeah. I've been asked every way that you've said. I've been asked, like, over the phone, on text, in person. So I feel like it's. I don't know. I've experienced all of them, so I feel like it's hard for me to say, oh, I've just. This is typically how I was never.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

One time asked on a date in person, only through online. Even people I knew. I mean, Austin asked me on a date in person. He was the one exception. But, like, through all my high school years, most of, like, when people would be in college, like, those years, for me, I was only asked out over text message.

[Ali Schnacki]

How did that make you feel? Was it just normal or.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I think that we try in situations like that to act like it's normal, you know, because it's the normal. Yeah, true. It's true. But for me, I think deep down, I wish they would have just said something in person because it takes a little bit of the specialness away, especially if you know them, like, you're gonna see them tomorrow.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Why don't you just be a man and ask me? It almost makes you, in a way.

[Ali Schnacki]

Like, yeah, see, we're saying this for all the moms raising sons out there to encourage their sons.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, totally. I think that for the guys that have asked me over text, but, like, I just saw them and it's the conversation we had the other day where we were talking about, you'd see them, you know, in a coffee shop or something like that, and then they'd go home and message you like, I think I saw you. It's like, well, just come say hi. Like, it's just like they're insecure. Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

And so if I knew I was gonna see somebody or I just did, and then they chose to ask me out on text, that to me, is already a little bit of like a. I don't know really, if I'm feeling this, but if it's someone who doesn't live near me or I'm not going to see them for a long time and they decide to call me or ask me on text, I'm fine with that. I think that's the difference. But when it comes from a Place of, like, are you too insecure to ask me in person because you're scared of rejection? I don't like that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Me too. Yep. I think every girl wants to be led by a confident guy.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You know, that's also super attractive.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yes.

[Natasha Bure]

When a guy is just bold.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Even if they're not the cutest, they have that confidence. You're like, dang, totally looking good today.

[Natasha Bure]

Totally.

[Ali Schnacki]

Fully agree. Totally agree. I have a story I'm thinking of, but I'm not going to share it. Okay. How has dating affected your friendships?

[Natasha Bure]

I feel like dating has affected my friendships for the good and the bad. Okay. I have a couple of girlfriends. I feel like the second they got in relationships, I never saw them again, which I feel like is really common when you find significant other or a partner, you kind of just latch onto them and want to spend all your time with them. And then I have some of my best girlfriends that are either dating or they're currently married that actually do a phenomenal job of still cultivating a personal relationship with you, aside from, you know, being with their partner and things like that. But I don't know if you've had experience, like, losing friends or anything like that, but you kind of get sucked into a wormhole, especially, like, in the early phases of your relationship.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I feel like, yeah, for me, I. I had never dated besides Austin. And so before him, I literally spent every day of my life with my best friend Carol. She lived with me in my bedroom, and, like, for seven years, we spent every moment together. Saturday was our day. And so when I felt like the Lord, like, called me to see what was there with Austin, the only day I really had off was Saturdays. And so that was a huge transition to tell Carol, like, hey, I love you. But I also really feel like I'm supposed to see what's here, and I want to be married. That's a desire of my heart. And honestly, I think to a default just because I didn't know better. And it kills me to say, but it's just true. I think I was that friend that just kind of was around, but constantly with my boyfriend because. Not even because I didn't want to be around people, just because I feel like I had so much pressure I put on myself to know if he was the one right from the beginning that I thought if I didn't spend every second with him and figure out what it was, I was going to waste my time. And I realize now, looking back, that I was only hurting myself because one person's not meant to be. Everything for you. And every relationship fuels me so much in such a different way that as months went by, I realized they were part of myself that Austin brought out that I loved, but they were also part of myself that I was missing. Because I didn't have those relationships in my life that I had with my best friend, my girl. I could go talk girl things, too, because if you've got a boyfriend, husband, brother, you know, they just think different than us.

[Ali Schnacki]

They do. And they don't necessarily want to hear everything that's going on in our minds. That's what. That's what besties are for.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

No, but that was definitely. I think probably the most challenging thing in my relationship with Austin was that transition with my best friend and. And honestly, feeling like I abandoned her because.

[Ali Schnacki]

And are you guys still best friends?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. Yes, we are. We figured it out.

[Ali Schnacki]

I feel like a really good friend will understand that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

She did.

[Ali Schnacki]

You go through thick and thin, and when you. When you are dating and love is new or like, is new, I mean, you naturally want to spend a lot of time with that person, getting them to. Getting to know them. And so I feel like a true friend would. Might be like, ah, this stinks. Like, it's not my. It's not a season for us to be together right now and hang out as much as we used to, but they would understand that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, and she totally did. I think it was just so new for us.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And it's funny because now it's reverse uno'd on me because she got married first, and so I'm. I'm, like, watching her in that transition and realizing, okay, Allie, like, that is who she's called to be best friends with now, so you have to take your hands off and, like, let him lead. But it's been a really cool season, and honestly, there's just such room in our lives for so many different relationships. It's just navigating when the different times for those relationships are. You know, it's so important.

[Ali Schnacki]

There's so many girls that need to hear that right now because you're right. Like, your. Your boyfriend shouldn't be your everything. There's not one person who completes you. That's just. Jesus.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Ali Schnacki]

Only Jesus.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes.

[Ali Schnacki]

And so to only find fulfillment in person isn't. Isn't healthy, and it isn't biblical. But I love what you said. I too. I mean, my husband is my best friend and knows the most about me, but there's things that, you know, I do. I need girl time. And you I. It's important to make room for those friendships because they do bring out other parts in you and fulfill you in other. In other ways. Have you set physical boundaries? Do you have physical boundaries before dating? Did they evolve over time?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I think for me, my situation's a little bit hard, and it's not really the normal because my boyfriend literally basically lives at my house. Like, he literally lives next door to me, and we work 247 together. And so before our relationship, especially in the beginning, when we first started even going on dates, we weren't officially dating. I remember us talking about boundaries that we wanted to have so that we didn't slip into anything physical before marriage, just because for us personally, we believe the Bible says that that is a covenant between, you know, husband and wife. And so we want to uphold that to the best of our abilities especially too, because when we first started dating, my goal at the end of it was marriage, but I didn't feel like I was anywhere near the place where I could be married. So I knew that that was going to be something that we had to put in mind. But I never had kissed anybody. I didn't really know the temptation that came with that either. And so I thought it was going to be easy. Like, oh, yeah, like, we'll just have boundaries. And that boundary is just don't go there. Right? I thought that's all I really needed. And I quickly learned that that's not all that you need. You actually need, like, hey, don't come over to my house. Hey, don't do this, don't do that. And so we had those for a while.

[Ali Schnacki]

Like, wait, back up there. Because I, as a mom, I want to hear, don't come over to my house and stuff. Like. Like, expand on that. Like, physical boundaries of the time of day to come over. Maybe who's in a room, like, what it. Expand on that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So usually your boyfriend doesn't live next door. So Austin can literally come over at like 2am and walk in and we'll hang out. You know what I mean? But that's something we're trying to fix right now, you know? But to go back to what you said, like, for us, my. My dad has a role in our house where our door has to be open. So if Austin's in my room, my door has to be open. My sisters are upstairs, my friends that live with us, they're always walking through the halls, so that'll keep you in check real fast. A boundary that me and Austin have is if there was anything to ever Happen. Which, honestly, there has been. We have to tell his dad, which is so embarrassing to, like, bring up to somebody that you.

[Ali Schnacki]

Who set that boundary?

[Natasha Bure]

I was gonna ask who. Was that a conversation you guys had with Austin's dad?

[Ali Schnacki]

No, we said that you guys made that boundary.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. I think when. I think when you slip into things in a relationship, your first instinct is shame and to hide from people. And we realize, like, we can't fix this between me and you, because unless it's brought to the light, we're gonna keep repeating the same thing over and over again. We need someone on the outside to pull us higher and to hold us accountable. And so that's what we did, is we pulled in an authority figure. And my dad and my brother, too, and even my mom are always great people that I can go to. My sisters, you know, they struggle in their own ways. So we have a pact. Like, if I do something or they do something, we have to tell one another, because we gotta lift each other up in prayer. My sisters will walk in my room when Austin's in my room late and say, what are you doing here? Go home. Right. We'll just be sitting there. Oh, we're watching a movie. Well, you know what time it is?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And in the moment, you're like, mad. But one point that I really do want to make is in the beginning of our relationship, we would set boundaries. Like, hey, don't come in my room past 10. And we'd last for a while, and then one. Oh, we're not going to do anything. Like, we're just going to watch a movie, eat cookies, like, have fun. And one of us would go to the other person's room. Right? And I learned very quickly that if we don't even keep the promises and the boundaries that we're setting right now in a relationship, when we're dating, why are we ever gonna trust ourselves to keep those covenants in marriage? And I think that that's something that we're trying to undo, is being people of our word, even when it comes to things that are justifiable and, you know, decisions that we make.

[Ali Schnacki]

Even right now, I admire it so very much. And like Lev, my middle son, had convictions very much in the same way with his wife before they were married, even to the point where I was kind of like, you guys are engaged. You can kiss her. And he was like, no, Mom. He's like, we decided not to kiss until our wedding day. And if we break that covenant before then, what's it gonna look like? It's true for the rest of everything else. And so we made a commitment and we're sticking to it. And I was like, you are better than me. So cool.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I love it.

[Ali Schnacki]

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[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, I. I definitely have boundaries that I've set in my own life, that of which I've. I've definitely struggled with. And you know, we've had conversations about that. And I think one of the biggest things for me in terms of those boundaries, and it's something you touched on is just the accountability, because I think in the past, when I did have those, they felt so I don't. I don't know the right word. I don't want to say like, concrete or like finite, but it was just the shame that came once my boundaries were broken or if I felt temptation or anything like that. The shame that I would feel, you know, was one thing. And when I did, you know, come to community, I was not met with grace. I don't feel like I was necessarily met with understanding, which can be really tough because you're already dealing with that on your own. And so now I'm really fortunate just with the community that I do have where, you know, if I do fall into temptation or if I am, you know, struggling with boundaries or anything like that, I'm able to have accountability with my friends that are aware of, you know, the person that I'm dating and what, what those boundaries were and asking those questions and, you know, being in the loop. When you have people in the loop with, within your relationship, it is so helpful because you also know that someone else is, you know, looking out for you and you're going to eventually maybe have to have that conversation with them. Um, but that was something I, I honestly really struggled with. I Think just initially was because of the. A little bit of that hurt that I had to then go, okay, well, I don't ever want to experience that again. And I feel like that's something probably a lot of girls have dealt with in terms of when you do something wrong. And, you know, Christ always meets us with love and forgiveness, but if you're not met with that necessarily with another person, it's like, oh, well, like, I just want to hide that. I never want to, like, share it again. And if it happens again, oh, man, like, I feel so bad about it. And I could never admit that to my friends. I could never admit that to my parents because I don't want the lecture. I already know what I did, you know? Yeah. And I think it took me a really long time to come to a place where I said, you know what? I made mistakes and I did things that would I do them today? No, but they happened. And I don't have shame. I certainly have conviction about those things. And I can move about my relationship a lot different now, obviously having better understanding, better boundaries, better self control, whatever that looks like in your life. But yeah, that. That's been just a huge thing for me. And I think, again, the accountability is just so incredibly helpful. And friends that really, truly want the best for you, not coming from a place of condemnation and shame, and you shouldn't. But, like, I want the best for you and, like, I want to see your relationship flourish. So this is why I'm going to ask those questions. This is why I'm just going to pry or not pry, but you know what I mean.

[Ali Schnacki]

So that's huge. You both talked about accountability, so thank you for sharing that, both of you. And next week we are going to talk about shame and how we get through that in all different ways. So stay tuned for that conversation. Another question I have is how important do you think it is that your family is involved in your dating process? Like, do you care about the opinion of your parents, brothers, sisters? What if you are dating someone that they don't like?

[Natasha Bure]

I'm curious what your thoughts are on this because I've always been very private about my dating life with my parents.

[Ali Schnacki]

I know we've never really known. Really not very private.

[Natasha Bure]

I'm just private in general about my dating. But.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, but you've introduced us to two people. Yes, but I know that she's dated a lot more. No, I.

[Natasha Bure]

Sorry, you know, what do you mean?

[Ali Schnacki]

I didn't say that you dated a lot of people.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Just shows, like, how much though we view the, like, how heavy we view the word dating because it's like, she said you've been in a relationship.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

Not a relationship.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right. You've gone on dates with a lot of people. Sure, sure.

[Natasha Bure]

Which I've been giving you a hard time.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I think it's.

[Ali Schnacki]

And some people you've gone on multiple dates with because you've told me. And then, like, well, when do we get to meet them? And you're like, you're not meeting.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Never.

[Ali Schnacki]

So then we know, like, okay. Right. And this is not husband material because you just would never bring someone over that you knew. Didn't.

[Natasha Bure]

Totally. I think for. I think when I was younger, especially in, like, after high school, like, right. When all my friends were going to college, you know, I was going on dates with different people, and we'd go on maybe one to three dates or something like that. And honestly, by the second date, I'm like, okay, I. I know this isn't going anywhere, but I have a crush, and I would love to hang out with this person and whatever. Obviously, again, protecting my boundaries and things like that. But still, I'd love to, like, hang out. So when my mom would always ask, I was just like, I'm not. There's nothing. Because I don't. I know that it's really not worth, like, the conversation.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

Any time where I'm like, oh, I. I feel like I would love to make this person my boyfriend or I see a future with them or whatever, I've immediately, like, introduced them, brought them to everything. I've been very open. But it's funny because Lev had such a different approach. And honestly, I will. I will say, I think that a lot of it had to do with me being the only girl in our family. I felt like my dad and you were just very protective over the people that I hung out with. Whereas Lev, not to throw him under the bus because he dated, you know, many amazing girls, but he would go on one date and then, like, bring him over to the house and hang out and whatever. And it was like, very much more of like a, oh, well, this is just my life and my family. Whereas, like, I would never tell them about someone until I was like, oh, this is, like, serious to me.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right.

[Natasha Bure]

So there was just. There was just, like, polar opposite in terms of how I went about dating versus how my. My brothers led.

[Ali Schnacki]

Lev would, like, on a first date, he would bring someone over to say, oh, like, we're going. I'm getting to know this person.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

And then we'd be like, oh, it's so great to meet you. Like, go have fun, and, hey, we're gonna go grab pizza or whatever. So getting to know someone, like, very casually at the start, but then maybe him saying, realizing that's not gonna be the girl. Like, oh, yeah, no, we went on a couple dates. Like, it's not. She's nice, but not for me. And so we kind of got to know those people that way just a little bit. But, yeah, but Natasha was, like, private until she knew, like, what.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Sorry.

[Natasha Bure]

I was gonna say, to be fair, this started because I did have somebody that I liked.

[Ali Schnacki]

Which story.

[Natasha Bure]

Which story is with an L. Hockey.

[Ali Schnacki]

Oh, I had.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay, but listen. But here's the thing, and this is where I love to, like, get into this conversation, because I. Mom, now we're gonna.

[Ali Schnacki]

I'm like, zip.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Come on.

[Ali Schnacki]

Go ahead.

[Natasha Bure]

I have had all these crushes and whatever, and I've, like, literally, since I've been a kid, I've always been just super private about, like, I don't even. Won't even tell, like, my friends or, like, a lot of people, because I want to figure it out on my own. Like, if I like this person, then I'll share it. If I don't, then, like, there's no. No need to talk about it, whatever. And I also get very swayed by people's opinions that I care about, and I don't want her to say something negative and then for me to just, like, automatically think it because I care so much about what, you know, she thinks. Whatever. And it could be about something very minuscule minor. But anyways, I was in high school. I was, like, freshman or sophomore year, and I liked this boy so much. Like, so much enough to where I was like, this is gonna be, like, I'm gonna bring him home, and I'm gonna tell my dad I really like him. I, like, can envision this, like, family dinner, whatever. And I remember telling Mom, I have, like, never been so excited to, like, bring a boy home at that point. And my mom just looked at me and was like, no, he can't come. And I was like, what? And she was like, no, he can't come. Papa does not like him. And I was crushed. I was like, you guys literally don't even know him. Like, how could you say that he can't come over. You guys are so welcoming to, like, all these people Lev brings home. And I. I was super confused. And after that, I was, like, noted. I will never ask you, like, if. Why are you cheering?

[Ali Schnacki]

I wasn't cheering I'm going, like, trying to, like, I thought you were. I was like, no, no, no. I was not cheering after that.

[Natasha Bure]

I was like, okay, noted. I don't feel comfortable now to, like, to ask and to be excited because I wasn't, like, met with the same excitement or, like, understanding. It was just like, nope, you're not doing that. And so after that, then I never shared for, like, years and years and years and years. Until then, I was like, okay, well, I might want to marry this person, so I probably got to bring them around. Definitely.

[Ali Schnacki]

I'm not gonna go into that story because I want to move along in the conversation.

[Natasha Bure]

Why.

[Ali Schnacki]

But there are more details to the story as to why. I was like, no, mom, he was.

[Natasha Bure]

Not a bad person.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So many cliffhangers.

[Ali Schnacki]

Not at all. But there were other things.

[Natasha Bure]

You'Re making. Okay, guys, no, you need to accept. Explain.

[Ali Schnacki]

Wait, now I want to, like, whisper so people are gonna know. This is so rude.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, my God.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay, anyways.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Anyways, it has.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay, essentially, I will say. Essentially, what I will say is it had nothing to do. It had nothing to do with the person.

[Ali Schnacki]

It didn't. Exactly. That's what I'm trying to say.

[Natasha Bure]

Yes.

[Ali Schnacki]

It didn't have nothing to do with that person.

[Natasha Bure]

It was just the circumstances.

[Ali Schnacki]

Circumstances is why my immediate answer was like, no, you just can't because of the circumstances.

[Natasha Bure]

And I understand that now. At the time, I was super confused because I didn't. I didn't. I really didn't see the big deal. But I understand why. But I think because I was met with, like, the. It's like, the first time you do something, you're so excited about it. So then I was like, it shaped.

[Ali Schnacki]

Your viewpoint, and for years after whether or not you would even talk to us about your relationship. Right. And I understand that. But also, as a parent, I had to. And Papa had to. We had to make the decisions that we had to. That we saw were best for you, even though you couldn't see them in that moment.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Sure.

[Ali Schnacki]

And I'm glad Now, you know, 10 years later, you can look back and go, yeah, okay, I get it. Even if you didn't like it or agree, but you can see, as a parent, why we would make the decision that we did.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Everyone's family dynamics are so different. And, like, for me, I told you guys, I never even had the opportunity to do anything in private, because if I didn't, if I wanted to hang out with a guy I liked, I knew the only way was inviting him to church. So he was meeting my whole family, my grandparents, my extended family, because my uncle was the youth pastor. Like he was about to all 40 of us the first time we even hung out. So I didn't have that privilege.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And actually the first date me and Austin went on, we tried to keep it a secret. And every time, I mean, God's got a funny way of bringing things to light. I remember me and him literally pulling out of the driveway in our garage door opening, and my brother and his girlfriend standing there like. And I couldn't believe it.

[Ali Schnacki]

Doing.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I couldn't believe I snuck downstairs. I tried to be sneaky because I mean kind of to what you were saying. When people know that you're just figuring things out because you don't even know.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, you don't even know exactly.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It puts so much pressure on you to where you can't even think clear. And people are asking, oh, how'd it go? Like, do you like him? And you're like, I don't know. I don't know.

[Natasha Bure]

But I think to my point earlier, I think there was something about like, and Lev had so much more maybe confidence in like himself and the dating world and whatever that looks like. I didn't. And so if I was like, I don't even know how I feel about this person, but I'll like go on a date with them or whatever. But if I was to tell my family, they have such strong opinions about it that I was like, I want to figure this out for myself. And then once it comes, like a certain point where I'm like, okay, like, I think I do like them and I maybe I do want to see if this goes somewhere, then I'm like, then I'd love to share with this person, but sometimes I already know that the answer. So I'm like, I don't need you to tell me.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Ali Schnacki]

Looking back, are you grateful for your parents advice in your dating relationships or do you wish that we would just stay out of it completely?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, I'm so thankful. I think it, it saved me from so much shame. And like, truthfully, I truthfully believe, just like my brother could bring home a girl and he thinks there's nothing wrong with her, but I could see that there was something wrong just because girls know girls. I think that if your dad, your brother, like, they're really seeking God and they want the best for you, they just know guys.

[Ali Schnacki]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You know, and so I really held fast to the opinions that my brother and my dad had Sometimes most of the time they were good Sometimes my brother would make a comment about something so ridiculous, and I wouldn't be able to get it out of my head. So I get what you're saying. I'm like, that was so unnecessary. But for me to answer your initial question, it is probably one of the most important things in my life that my person, like, the person I ended up with, because they're. They're everything to me besides God, you know?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

I think that, like I said earlier in this conversation, in terms of, you know, dating and figuring it out, I think so much of that had to come from myself. And as much as I always appreciated your advice and outlook on things, I think a lot of that stuff I just had to learn through trial and error. And no matter what you would have said, I don't think it would have, like, changed a lot. I keep all the advice so close to my heart, and it's always in the back of my head. But at the same time, there's just certain things that, like, I have to fail to figure out. And so it's not that I wish you would have stayed out, but some of the things I'm just like, you'll learn. And I feel like you're doing that with, you know, Max now that he's starting to date a lot more than you did it with Lev and I. Yeah. Letting him just figure it out. And especially my dad, he's just such a big advocate because now I'm, you know, my youngest brother is just starting to date, and I'm so protective over him, like, more protective over him probably than I even was over love. And I always want to just, like, smack him across the face and be like, what are you doing? Like, you know, what's. What are you doing on these dates with these girls? And you. You deserve way better. Whatever, you know, the case is. And my dad is always like, natasha, he's got to figure it out on his own. Like, he will come to the conclusion and it will actually stick when it's his own idea. And so I think that was very applicable for me. But again, I do appreciate your advice.

[Ali Schnacki]

Do you guys have any encouragement for girls that have never dated? They're nervous. They don't know where to start.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yes. Honestly, that was me. I was the one person before Austin that everybody else was dating, and I felt like I was never going to find my person, ever. And truthfully, I think the best thing that you could ever do is become the person that you want to be with. Like, I remember one day I was doing my diva praying for an God. I pray for my. The man of God. You're going to bring me to be this, this, this, this, and this. And I remember God saying to me, like, are you becoming a person? The person that that person would look. Be looking for, be praying for? And I really believe that there's no way that you can miss what God has for you when you're seeking him. And so is the person that he has. He's going to bring, like, he's going to bring that person and your perfect timing and his perfect timing. And until then, there's such a purpose in your single season. I genuinely had a hard time transitioning into a dating relationship because I found so much value in the time that I had when I was just with my friends, just with God, just with my family, and the growth that I had in that season, too. So don't miss the purpose or the season that you're in because you're so focused on what's next. Just pursue God and he's going to bring it to you.

[Ali Schnacki]

Thank you.

[Natasha Bure]

I couldn't agree more. I also think from personal experiences, I was so, I don't want to say desperate. It's not that I'm like this desperate girl, but I really craved and desired a relationship and marriage and all those things to the point where then, you know, maybe I was with someone that wasn't really the right fit for me, but I just was so eager to make something work and ended up being way more unhappy in the relationship rather than being in my singleness and not realizing what a gift that was. And even after that breakup going, okay, I'm gonna spend some time alone and really seeking the Lord and, like, finding the joy in that and not taking my singleness for granted. And especially when you haven't dated, because similarly, like, I didn't have a boyfriend up until, you know, a couple years ago where all my friends were dating in high school, had these, like, long term, like, four years of high school boyfriend and four years of college boyfriends. And I just was like, I don't. I don't even. Like, there's no one I'm really interested in or, like, see any potential with. And that was tough. But, like, looking back, I. I'm grateful for that time. And I would just say continue. Continue in being patient and, you know, again, being optimistic for the future, but not that you're conforming just for the sake of being in a relationship.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to just say from a mom's perspective, seeing you grow spiritually in the last couple years of your life, and of course, that spiritual growth has been your whole life. But really seeing you focus on your relationship with God in the last couple years has changed you so much from the inside out. And I think it's for that very reason of. Of putting your focus into God. And like Ally said, who am I becoming? Am I becoming the best that God wants me to be into that woman that he desires for me and is even making me for my future husband if he wants me to be married? Yeah. Yeah. But I've just seen you grow. And I. And I do believe you know that as you continue to date, you're. I've just seen a difference in. In. In how you are within that relationship, and it's really beautiful. You're welcome.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Something cool you just said, it sparked this verse in me. There's a verse in scripture that says, delight in Him. He will give you the desires of your heart. And I just want to encourage the girl listening to this that is single and so desires to be married and be in a relationship that God has not forgotten about you. He has not overlooked you. When he formed you, he put those desires inside of you. And I truthfully believe that as long as you're seeking him, you will be on the right path to gain every good thing he has for you.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Like says in scripture, he withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. If we are pursuing him, if it's not good, it's not coming to us. So he will make it perfect in his time. And I just want to encourage you guys that. Because when I was in that season, it felt so discouraging.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Like God, have you forgotten about me? But he hasn't. Just hold fast to who you are and don't feel bad about your desires. You know he's going to grant them. I truthfully believe that's his heart.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah. Yeah, me too. Okay, guys, quick listener question as we wrap this episode up. This is from Simone, and she asks what habits make your relationship strong with God?

[Natasha Bure]

Hmm.

[Ali Schnacki]

Go ahead.

[Natasha Bure]

I don't know if this is necessarily a habit, but, I mean, I guess it is a habit. Just. But entirely. Just consistency, which is something I talked about a lot on the season that I was on previously. But consistency within prayer within community within going to church, you know, the music that you're listening to, like what you're feeding your brain, things like that. Those small habits make the biggest, biggest difference. The second that you're surrounded by things where, you know you may be tempted. Yeah. Of course, you, you know, you, you hope and, and pray that you have a strong enough will to be steadfast and all those things, but at the same time, it's so easy to fall. And so when you're consistent, it makes, it makes all of that much easier.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, great answer.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, I know for. I know for me, something that's been new is I've been getting outside and going on prayer walks and it has radically changed the way I hear from the Lord. I just wake up in the morning and I do a walk around the block without any music. And I promise you guys, I feel like, I mean, if you think about nature the way God created it, this is what he's been showing me. It says in scripture that if we don't cry out to God, if we don't praise him, that the rocks will cry out. And if you really listen to nature, it's almost like God has created it in a way that everything is singing, prays to him all the time. So when I'm outside just listening to the nature and the way that he's created it to be and just communing with him, like something I've been doing is praying the arm the armor of Christ over myself every single day, like God, I put on the breastplate of righteousness. I put on this as I walk around the block. It has literally transformed my life and strengthened me throughout my day. So that's something you guys could add into your habit. Also, just being at a life giving church has radically changed my life every week. We just started going to this new church and y'all being with people that have radical faith literally is contagious. It gives you radical faith, and it does. So I would encourage you, if you don't go to church, get plugged in, it'll change your entire walk with God.

[Ali Schnacki]

Great answers. I would say for me, the habits that, that make my relationship most strong is I make sure I pray first thing in the morning. I just want to set my day before God because I, I will always have my agenda and my plans, but I want God's hand over it and if he should change them. Throughout my day, I want, you know, the Holy Spirit with me to just guide me through what God wants my day to look like. That helps me set the tone and set helps me set my mission. Especially when I have a lot of things going on and things are very important. It reminds me that God, I have my plans, but this is your day and it takes a lot of that pressure away. And the other thing that makes my relationship super strong is reading the Bible. Read the Bible. Read the Bible. Read the Bible. So I talk all about the Bible recap. I love it. It's the program that I use to read through the Bible daily and without knowing God's word, I wouldn't know who God is and that would weaken my relationship. So read the Bible. Thanks so much, Simone, guys, this was so much fun. Thanks for sharing. Be back next week. Guys, are you on our email list yet? Every week we send out show notes ideas. We even answer some listener questions on there too. So you don't want to miss it when you're under pressure. Practicing gratitude can change everything. So we made a simple gratitude guide for you this season with daily reminders and scripture to encourage you. You can go to canis.com to find the A link and it's also in our show notes. All right, until next time, be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment. All rights reserved.