← The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Dr. Josh and Christi Straub - Leave a Legacy: How Families Make a Difference in the World
00:39:29
It's the final episode of Becoming Better Parents, with Dr. Josh and Christy Straub.
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- [00:00]
Candace Cameron Bure
I hope that, well, my kids and my grandkids are like Grandma Candy because that's what I want to be called, Grandma Candy. She's the best. She's so fun. She loves me, she wants to play with me. And I really hope, I mean, if I can have one legacy.
- [00:27]
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- [01:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bure Podcast. We're here to share conversations about life's challenges, celebrations and everything in between. Our guest hosts this season have been Dr. Josh and Kristi Straub. Come join us for our final episode. Guys, welcome back.
- [02:24]
Christy Straub
I'm like, happy, sad.
- [02:26]
Candace Cameron Bure
Me too.
- [02:26]
Christy Straub
Me too.
- [02:27]
Josh Straub
It's kind of surreal. This is our last episode.
- [02:29]
Candace Cameron Bure
I know, I know. Crazy. It's been such a journey and an amazing one. I'm so glad we had these conversations and also got to just reconnect as, as friends and family.
- [02:40]
Christy Straub
Thank you for having us.
- [02:42]
Sponsor/Advertiser
You're welcome.
- [02:42]
Christy Straub
It's been an honor. Like, it's just been such a good conversation. I think I, like, feel like filled up, like leaving encouraged.
- [02:50]
Candace Cameron Bure
Me too. Me too. You guys have given me so many things to think about.
- [02:54]
Josh Straub
Well, I, we got, I mean, the conversations we've had with your family, with you I mean, I feel like that I'm. I'm leaving filled going, oh, I want to do that. I want to do that. I was very inspired by Val and just his discipline and the way who he is as a father and a husband and just. Yeah, so. So it's been a blessing.
- [03:13]
Christy Straub
And like, let's dovetail off that for a sec, though. Like Val. But then listening to Natasha and Max, like, them emulating and they've absorbed it all and you see it in them. And we didn't get to talk to Lev, but I know that's true for him too.
- [03:30]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, it. And that, that really speaks to what our topic is about today. And I think we're ending on a really great topic and it's rethinking the household for generational blessing.
- [03:41]
Josh Straub
Oh, this is one of my favorite.
- [03:42]
Candace Cameron Bure
Leaving a legacy.
- [03:43]
Josh Straub
This is like, to me, this is what it. This is what all of the other episodes were leading to, is this right here. Because this, it's our kingdom. We're building for the kingdom of God. That's what, What a privilege. Like, what a privilege it is. And so I would love to.
- [03:59]
Christy Straub
Can I just ask you, what does that mean when you say that? I think for people listening, like, we're building for the kingdom of God, like.
- [04:05]
Josh Straub
What'S going to explain that? But.
- [04:07]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [04:07]
Josh Straub
You want me to explain it now? Yeah, yeah, explain it now.
- [04:09]
Christy Straub
Because you just said it and I think people are like, what? Maybe. What does that mean?
- [04:13]
Josh Straub
So let me explain this. And this, this was explained to me. I, I love the way that this kind of plays itself out. So my friend Jeremy Pryor kind of gave this talk one time to a group of us men. And it was this whole idea that he learned that maybe more as growing up as a Christian, that he learned that there's a Genesis 3 to the Gospels narrative, that Genesis 3, we are fallen, sinful human beings and we're in need of a savior. But then what comes in is this Gnostic view into Christianity of, okay, now that I've become a Christian now, all of a sudden I just wait for the world, for the Rapture to come or whatever I'm waiting for. And I don't really have any purpose beyond, okay, now I'm saved and I'm going to heaven. And the reality is, is no, you're living in eternity right now. The Gospel starts in Genesis, chapter one, and it ends in Revelation, where it begins in beauty. It begins in creation and beauty and in the Garden of Eden, and it ends in beauty, and it ends with so Even in the, in the last chapter of the famous at home book, I wrote this down because I just think it's beautiful. My friend, Pastor Rich Velodez, he's a pastor in New York City, but he writes this. He says, the new Earth, the new earth, the Bible doesn't end with souls ascending to a disembodied heaven. It ends with a fully embodied heaven descending to earth. We will be fully bodied humans on this earth, on the new Earth. And everything that we do right now on this earth as kingdom followers, as Jesus followers, we're building for that. So even this podcast, every prayer, you're.
- [05:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
Tripping some people out because some people have different theology on this. And I don't know my heaven theology that well because I've heard so many different points of view on theology. But anyway, keep going.
- [06:08]
Josh Straub
So I genuinely believe that we are, we are building for the, we get to build for the kingdom of God. Right now, as Jesus followers, we're asked to go and make disciples baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Baptism, yes, there's the, there's water baptism, but we're also baptizing in community. We're baptizing people to experience the love of Jesus, to experience presence. And I think that that's what we're called to go out and do is to make disciples. And so everywhere that we go, then we get to carry the kingdom of God with us. And so I'm going to give this analogy, My friend gave me this analogy, and I think it's a very helpful analogy to think about. It's helped me a lot. So let's imagine that the kingdom of God is the United States of America and Jesus is king. And Texas, which wants to secede from the union, decides to rebel from the kingdom. And they're like, nope, we're out. We're seceding from the union. So the King Jesus has a couple different options. He could go down and forcefully take back Texas, but that's not who Jesus is. He could also go, you know what, you're going to rebel. Just go do it anyway.
- [07:24]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right?
- [07:24]
Josh Straub
What do parents do? We go, nope, I'm doing, you're going to do this because I said so or, nah, it doesn't really matter. This is the authoritarian parent or the permissive parent. No. What does Jesus do? He does the emotionally safe thing. He does the. He does the loving thing. And he, he leaves Washington D.C. he leaves his throne, he goes to Texas, he puts on his cowboy boots and his cowboy hat and he steps foot in the Texas. And he goes, hey, I want to love you back into my kingdom. And, and, and In Mark, chapter 10, he says, you know, the breaking news cycle back then in that time wasn't, you know, the breaking news cycle we have today. Someone walked into the village square and would be like, hey, this is the news. Well, Jesus, it says, after John the Baptist, after John the baptizer, after John was arrested, Jesus walks in and he says, the kingdom of God is near. Repent and repent of your sins and believe the good news. So he says, the kingdom of God is near. Well, the disciples actually believed that the kingdom of God was that he was coming to physically take over the Roman Empire. That he was coming. That's why they waved palm branches. He thought they were coming to fulfill Sukkot. But what they came to fulfill was Passover. So in other words, they came to fulfill. He came to fulfill Passover. So that means this. What he meant was the spatial kingdom of God is here. So the reign, the rule and reign of Jesus is not here yet on the new. On the new earth. That's not here yet. He didn't come to fulfill Sukkot. That's still to come his second coming. But what he did do is he died on the cross. He, he, he now all of a sudden, that when we come to know Jesus, when we come to accept him into our hearts, he rules and reigns in our hearts.
- [09:05]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [09:05]
Josh Straub
Well, what is a kingdom? A kingdom is a dome over. It's the effective rule where a king reigns. Now there's a king dome. Everywhere we go. We carry the king, we carry the kingdom. So the first house might say, yes, I believe in you, Jesus. But then the second two houses might not. But then that's why it's the spatial kingdom of God that we're living in now. Because not everybody's a believer. Not everybody has experienced the love of God. But guess what we get to do as Jesus followers, We now get to carry that everywhere we go. And when our kids come to know him, they get to carry him everywhere they go. And that's what I mean by every prayer we pray, every. We are all loved by the Father so much that he's doing everything he can to fight for us, to win us back to his kingdom and into his love. And now all of a sudden, just even sitting with Max, you see that in his heart, he wants to do that with those who feel alone. Because that's the kingdom. That's how much the Father loves us. And you see how much he experiences the love of The Father in his own life. And that's what I want to give to my kids. I want them to experience this thing of going, man, we have such a beautiful journey ahead because we get to go love people who feel alone, who are downcast, who are traumatized, who are hurting. We get to go love them and we get to invite them and introduce them to a savior that is so much bigger than anything they've ever been through. And to me, that's the joy of what it means to build for the kingdom of God.
- [10:34]
Candace Cameron Bure
That was a great answer. We asked.
- [10:37]
Christy Straub
I did, I did ask.
- [10:39]
Josh Straub
You got to watch because I was teaching on it, so.
- [10:42]
Christy Straub
But I think that gives such a different perspective on what family can be like. I think I, you know, you get so minuscule and so, like, insular in what, you know, the family issues in this kid and this, you know, this activity and this thing like this brings us way back out to like, what's the point of it all?
- [11:01]
Josh Straub
Yeah, well, and I would say this too. When my dad passed away in 2016, he passed of congestive heart failure. You know, even having gone to seminary, I never really learned a lot about heaven. And so I started reading every book on heaven that there was. Randy Alcorn's book just going to say.
- [11:15]
Candace Cameron Bure
That'S the only book I've read on heaven. It's been a long time. Randy Alcorn's book.
- [11:19]
Josh Straub
Yeah, Randy Alcorn's book, which is a great, great read. John Eldridge has put one out. There was one that was written, written recently called Imagine Heaven and by a guy named John Burke. And he, what he did was he took near death experiences from all over the world. And these near death experiences were people from all walks of life, different religions, people who didn't know God, people, different ethnic backgrounds. And he took and he looked at the common experiences that people had in these near death experiences. And then he filtered that through what the Bible says about what we'll experience in heaven. This is why this was the most profound book for me on heaven, is because there's real life nd's near death experiences that people had. And I don't want to give away the book. I just, it's worth getting and reading. One of the, My greatest takeaway was all of these people. Most of these people had what was called a life review with Jesus, with the light, however they described him. And they're seeing their life lived out in the matter of seconds. There's no time or space in heaven. Right. It's just like they're seeing their entire life lived out before them. And even when they felt ashamed by how they treated somebody, they still felt no condemnation in his presence. Romans 8. There's no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Though they felt bad, they still were enveloped in this unbelievable sense of love. And you're going, wow, so. So there was a moment where there was one guy, I think he was a real estate guy or something like that, from Kentucky, of all places. And he said, but, Jesus, I earned this award, and I accomplished this feat, and I did this. And. But none of those things were in my life review. And it was as if Jesus said to him, those things did not matter. What mattered was how you treated people on your way to getting those things. And my takeaway from the entire book of this whole thing was, what. What is the effect that I will have left on someone else after I've left their presence? That the thing that matters in this life is what will, what. And it goes back to how well did I love someone when I was with them in their. In that moment? And to give that to our kids, that's the thing that excites me the most.
- [13:35]
Candace Cameron Bure
I agree with you. I'm a little bit chuckling to myself because Val and I just had this conversation and with the kids, because Val is really friendly to people that he doesn't know and that he probably won't see again, which always just kind of makes me laugh. And so we'll run into people. So say we're, you know, at a coffee shop and you're just paying for a coffee to go. But he'll be like. He'll ring up the order, but he'll make a little joke, and the person will kind of laugh. And then he'll be like, how's your day today? And how's. You know. And he just gives them a few extra minutes and says another joke and this and that. And I'm always like, who are you? Because, like, I don't know, I feel like you're serious all the time, but then these random people. You're like, the nicest guy or whatever. And. And we started talking about it and laughing, but he. He's just like, because. Because. Why not? Because I want my lasting impression to be something really great and really nice. And I want people to feel kindness from me. And maybe I'm the only person that is going to make them laugh or smile during their day, especially when they're working. Like, I think that's what it. It's. It's usually when people are working, he'll kind of say like, hey, how's your day going? And if they go, well, I'm really tired. I'm doing this. And he's like, well, you hang it. You know, he just gives some sort of funny joke, and it. It. It's like, gives them levity or reprieve, and they just kind of laugh it off and it lightens their day. But I. He's like, yeah, you need to be nicer to people. And I'm like, I'm the queen of nice.
- [15:19]
Christy Straub
Come on.
- [15:20]
Candace Cameron Bure
I've got, like, be kind on my wall. I wrote a book called Kind is the New Classy. I'm the nicest person, honey. And he's just like, you could be nicer. But he convicted me in a way, because I realized I was like, well, no, I. I just. If. Especially in a place of business, like, I'm just. I'm going in, doing what I need to do. I'm kind. I'm courteous.
- [15:43]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [15:43]
Candace Cameron Bure
But I'm not giving any extra attention. And he's like, it's kind of like the way you text, honey. And I was like, excuse me? And he said, yeah. And the kids go, oh, yeah, Papa's texts are the best. He adds all these emojis. And I'm like, excuse me? I'm like, I get it. I know I'm very blunt and to the point because I'm being efficient. And they're like, but that. It's just not that nice, Mom. You could be nicer. Like, Papa is. And so it's now become a joke. So I am like, extra emoji texting. And anyone that I run to run into, I'm always like, hey, and how's your day? And how's your whatever? But my kids and Val are like, see? Doesn't that feel good? Isn't that better? And I'm like, yeah, it totally does. But it. They really convicted me in that way because of what you said. The lasting impression. And although we're talking about legacy in the form of what we want with our children, and yes, that is the bigger, bigger legacy. But legacy doesn't stop with all the years. I just feel like the. It's at least the lasting impression that might be the last time I ever run into that person. But what impression am I leaving?
- [16:56]
Josh Straub
Yeah, because you're bringing the kingdom of God with you.
- [16:59]
Candace Cameron Bure
Exactly.
- [16:59]
Josh Straub
And it's not that you have to share Jesus, but you're planting seeds.
- [17:03]
Sponsor/Advertiser
Yeah.
- [17:04]
Josh Straub
You're helping those people. You're softening people's. We're Softening people's hearts by the change that he's had in us. And to me, that's Ephesians 3:19, where it says, I pray. Paul writes, I pray that you might know beyond knowledge, that you might know and experience beyond head knowledge, the love of Jesus for you. And this is what my friend Jeremy talked about when he gave this illustration. That Texas illustration was so brilliant. But for him, he was really wrestling and reconciling with how can I serve the kingdom without necessarily being a pastor? You know, and that's. That's how we're all pastors. You don't. The vocation of being a pastor is a vocation on this earth. But every single one of us can go out and make disciples. Every single one of us gets to shepherd the heart of other people or introduce them to the love of God. We all get to do that in the ways that God has appointed us. Just because our assignments look different, we're all able to do that. And that's just a beautiful. It's just really set me free to be able. Because I was like you. I was the person who I have. And I would justify it this way. And I don't know if I'm being like you, if this is how you.
- [18:23]
Candace Cameron Bure
Were, but I mean, listen, that conversation was like two weeks ago. But this is brand new.
- [18:30]
Josh Straub
I relate to that because I can remember justifying. I'm busy. I do a lot during the day. I got so much going on with my kids, with my wife, with work, that when I go out, I'm just going out and I'm. I'm like, I. I have to be. I'm an introvert by nature, right? Like, I don't. I get my energy from being alone, okay? So when I'm with people, I've got to eventually go be by myself in order to rejuvenate. And so that therefore, when I go to a coffee shop or the pizza place or whatever, I now have. I. Now I've just been given it. I think it's the spirit of God, a new energy for. Okay, I have to be with this person, truly with this person, as opposed to. And I'll now get on a plane. And I used to be the guy with the headphones in, don't bother me. But now I'll just ask Jesus and I'll say, what do you want me to know about this plane ride? Do I need to talk to the person next to me or not? And I don't want to be annoying, but I think there's always an opportunity to share the light of the gospel everywhere we go. And I want my kids to see me with the, with the desire to do that so that they can understand they have the ability to do that.
- [19:37]
Christy Straub
It's like you're representative of. Yeah, you know, we're ambassadors. Yeah.
- [19:44]
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Candace Cameron Bure
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- [19:55]
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- [21:35]
Candace Cameron Bure
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- [21:40]
Christy Straub
Oh wait, I have a question. Okay, I want to ask because you're talking about in those last two weeks. This is, this is new. Okay. If you were to think about your grandkids because you're almost, you know. Yeah, could be eventually, could be entering that season soon. What do you hope when you're there they'll say about you?
- [22:05]
Candace Cameron Bure
I hope that, well, my kids and my grandkids are like Grandma Candy. Because that's what I want to be called. Grandma Candy. Like, she's the best. She's so fun. She loves me, she wants to play with me. And I really hope I mean, if I can have one legacy, I mean, my heart is just, I want them to know Jesus, but I want them to know, like, I'm. I'm the mom and the grandma that just shared my heart about God, that I did everything that I could. Like, I want to be known. We talked about this amazing woman, Sarah Trollinger, who has this organization called, yeah, A House of Hope. And she deals with or ministers to troubled teenagers that are going through really difficult times with parenting. And how's them all that. Sarah is either in her late 80s, maybe 90s. I'm not sure of her age, but I'm like, that woman. What a legacy.
- [23:14]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [23:15]
Candace Cameron Bure
What a legacy. The ministry that she's poured in is unbelievable. And while I don't mean to run a nonprofit, but I want the legacy to be like, my mom loved Jesus or my grandma loved Jesus, but my grandma shared Jesus with everyone. Like, that's. That's. That's it. Hands down, that's what I want. And that's what I really try to do within my life and my ministry and what this whole podcast is for. I keep saying, I just want to help bring people one step closer to Jesus, and I want to be known for that. Like, if there's one thing, I mean, I hope people are like, yeah, she was really, really nice, too. Maybe she didn't emoji text that much, but I know that she really loved Jesus and she shared Jesus with people.
- [24:01]
Josh Straub
So good. Thank you for sharing. That is what you're doing.
- [24:06]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [24:07]
Josh Straub
You're doing it.
- [24:08]
Candace Cameron Bure
And I feel like it looks different every. It just looks different.
- [24:12]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [24:12]
Candace Cameron Bure
Because you don't. Again, it doesn't have to be a major platform to share Jesus. You don't have to be a pastor to share Jesus, but if you have the heart to just have connection and relationship with people.
- [24:26]
Christy Straub
Yeah, that's.
- [24:28]
Candace Cameron Bure
That's all it takes.
- [24:29]
Josh Straub
That's it. That's it right there. And there's. I might be jumping the gun here. I'm just going to say this, though. There was a listener question that I'd love.
- [24:39]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, jump to it.
- [24:42]
Josh Straub
Katie had asked this. She said, I'll never be famous. How can I make my mark on the world as a commoner? And I just. I hope that this episode right here speaks to you. When we talk about being famous at home, that only starts by understanding that you already are. And it is. You are so loved by your Father in heaven. You read Psalm 139 and you just look at. He knows every detail about who you are. And we Are all ambassadors. We're all, we're. We're all ambassadors in his kingdom. We're all children of God in his kingdom. And I mean, we get to partner with him in making all things new. And that doesn't make you a commoner. That makes you an heir to the throne. And I think that is where our fame comes from. And we don't need to work. Look to the world. I don't want to be famous to the world. That's. I'd rather be in Hebrews 11. I want to be famous in God's eyes in the hall of fame of faith. I could care less about fame in the world, but fame in heaven at right there. Yeah, that's my. That's my two cents on Kate.
- [25:58]
Candace Cameron Bure
And I'll tell you, Katie, I think that celebrity fame is overrated. There's a lot of. Lot of stuff, a lot of negative stuff that goes along with it there. You know, there can be great things to too. We can always look at positives and negatives. But as someone who's, I guess. I guess celebrity famous to some extent, I would much rather take famous, famous for God, famous in heaven, famous for my father, than celebrity famous, known by the world any day. And I mean it with all my heart.
- [26:31]
Christy Straub
Yeah, it's like there's this song, I think it's by Alyssa Smith, where there's a line in it where. Yeah, it's gonna make me cry. I might need a second to get this out.
- [26:46]
Josh Straub
I know what line you're talking about.
- [26:47]
Christy Straub
But she says something to the effect of, what if I waste it all? What if I, like, surrender it all? And all of heaven is cheering me on. And David's in. David's pleading, sing your song. And Mary shouting, waste it all. He's worth it. And I think, I think that's the laid down life, right. Of a, Of a believer or where it's like, will I waste it all? Like, it might look foolish to the world. And I think for me, like, even, you know, I said I would never homeschool. I said I would. Oh, my gosh. I said I'd never have another child. I said I'd never homeschool. I'm pretty much done with saying I'll never to God because, you know, thanks so much. Because in the, you know, many times I think I've said, oh, I'll. I'll never, you know, I'll never step out and do that or say that. And this laid down life, I. I pray that's what my kids see. And you know our daughter. I remember talking to one of our youth leaders the other week, and she said we were having this meeting as, like, youth. The youth team or whatever, and they're, like, just watching the growth in. In our daughter and how she had just, like, run to the front and, like, was praying over this. This other little girl and the words that she was saying. And. And they. The comment they made was, it sounds like I'm talking to Christy when I hear her. And it was that, like, there's. I pray that that's the effect that I leave on my kids. I don't need to be known for anything, but I pray that they learn to waste it all. He's worth it.
- [29:05]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah. And I'll tell you, the people that I. That have made the. The mark on my life and biggest impact in my life, and I've met some really cool celebrities. I've met some big ones. I've worked with some big ones, and they're not the people making the mark on my life. The people that are making the mark on my life are the Sarah Trollingers in life.
- [29:27]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [29:28]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah. So just remember that about being famous.
- [29:31]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [29:32]
Candace Cameron Bure
Be famous for God. Yeah. How about one. Another question. This one's from Lindsay. She says, how do you not view every day as a countdown clock in your mind as your kids get closer to graduating and leaving home and the fear that once they leave, they'll never come home or want to be around again? Well, I mean, I'm. I'm in this season of Life, we have two that are gone. One's married. Max is still at home, and he's been in and out of home, you know, because I think that's the great thing. So a lot of kids that leave, they come back.
- [30:12]
Josh Straub
And apparently, from what we heard in his episode, is he wants more time with you.
- [30:16]
Candace Cameron Bure
So.
- [30:17]
Josh Straub
How sweet is that?
- [30:18]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [30:19]
Candace Cameron Bure
You know, I. I look at this, and I've never really been a worrier by nature. It's not who I am, so. But of course, like, I think I was more excited to see my kids graduate. Not that they would leave, but just excited to see them spread their wings and who they are becoming and excited to cheer that on. And so maybe there's an optimism there that you're not thinking about. Instead of dreading the leaving, think about it in a way of, like, the next season of life for them. And how do I get to cheer them on and be a part of their life? And do I create an environment at home where they want to come back? And if you Have a fear that they don't want to come home again. Then it sounds like your kids are still. They're still at home, they haven't graduated yet. So make sure you've created space and atmosphere in your home, that they want to be around you even when they've left the nest.
- [31:21]
Josh Straub
And that's where we started. It's all about the environment of the home that we live in. And I think there's a fear here. And we weren't given a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. And I think it's important to realize. I don't even think of a countdown clock necessarily, because I'm thinking about. I mean, you're getting ready. I mean, I should say getting ready unless it's prophetic, I don't know. But you will prophetically become a grandparent. I don't know how soon, but you will be. And there will come a day, Lord willing, that we will be, too. And I hope that, as you said, we cultivate. This isn't a countdown clock for me as much as it is. What are we cultivating to pass? Generational legacy. You know, it says, you know, that blessing happens to the thousandth generation of those who love and seek my commands. And to me, it's cultivating that environment. I don't know about y'all, but I actually. You're in the season. I actually think about getting excited about becoming a grandparent, and I'm not even close.
- [32:22]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, you know, me too.
- [32:24]
Josh Straub
I get excited about thinking about that legacy and how we can begin to instill and continue to shape our family unit, our family legacy through the generations. That this isn't a countdown clock. This is a you have been given and your kids have been given all the time that was ordained for you under heaven to accomplish everything that you. All the works he set out for you to do, all the time has been there. It's there. So for me, it's just looking back and going, okay, how can I make the most of that time today? And then I wake up tomorrow and I had Matthew 6. Don't worry about tomorrow. Today is enough trouble of its own. How do I best make that time today? And we just keep moving forward in that. That's how I would.
- [33:09]
Christy Straub
And I think this is speaking to loss. She's afraid of losing. And I see it more like you've gained a daughter.
- [33:18]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yes, absolutely.
- [33:20]
Christy Straub
You're gaining. As your family grows, like, you're actually expanding and you're growing. And, you know, we still do family vacations like With, I mean, there's a lot of us now with all the, the kids and the, you know, brothers and sister in laws and grandkids and it's just, it's almost become richer. It's, it was smaller at first and it was tight and now it's bigger.
- [33:41]
Josh Straub
And richer and I think more humans, more souls.
- [33:45]
Christy Straub
And we see it that way versus the leaving and the losing. We're adding and we're growing.
- [33:51]
Candace Cameron Bure
So there's another question. This will be our last question for today, but Kelly wrote in and it's what we're kind of already talking about. She says, I'm having empty nest fears and sadness. How do I get through it? And I think as someone who, I certainly felt sadness when all three of mine were gone. When Max was gone, you know, he came back, I was like, whoa. My house felt really empty. And although I didn't have fear about it, I had a sadness like, man, I've had 20 some years with big personalities in our home and it just was filled with noise and, and even, and dogs throughout. And you know, we lost our dog at the same time. You know, Max was the last one to leave and, and it just felt, it just felt empty.
- [34:43]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [34:43]
Candace Cameron Bure
And so there was a sadness. I know how that feels.
- [34:46]
Christy Straub
Yeah.
- [34:47]
Candace Cameron Bure
But the way, the way that I look at it, because we have cultivated strong relationships with our kids. And even Natasha, who doesn't even live in the same state as us anymore, she still comes back, you know, she still stays with us when she does come back to, to our home. And if you, if you have really poured into the relationships with your kids, you know, you're still going to have time with them. And then you think about the seasons of, if they get married, their family's growing, so you're actually gonna gain. And then I think about my parents because my parents right now are in a season where they bore children and we all live in different places. So I, I, I'm some, I, you know, I'm not close, physically close to my mom and dad anymore because we moved and she has like one child left that she's physically, they are physically close to. But, and here's what I, I talked to my mom about, because this last year she said, you know, this was really hard for me, like this past Easter, she said it was the first Easter that we weren't with any of you, she said, because we, you know, you guys were all in different states and some of you were out of town and we sat at home for Easter and that was really challenging. And, and we used to have big together parties. I mean, like 50, 60 people of my parents growing up. So for them to be completely empty, Even they have 17 grandkids and then not be with them. And she said it made me, me and your dad really, really sad. But I, what I realized is that we don't want to go out sitting in our home. And because you guys are all in different places, we're going to travel and we're going to go where you are. And my mom and dad have been going on road trips now for the last year, and they've been driving in the car. I mean, driving from California to Tennessee. I mean, driving all over the place. But they're making it fun and stopping in Arizona and stopping in Texas to visit some of their friends. And they just said, you know, the days aren't what they used to be, but that doesn't mean we can't create new days and fulfillment for ourselves. And she said, I had to shift my perspective that it's. It's not an empty house if I don't want it to be, but if I'm willing to get up and go to my kids, to my grandkids, then we're gonna be there. And so now my mom on her own is like, we're coming up this weekend, we're traveling. You know, she's got her weeks marked out on the calendar and they just get in the car and drive. And I love it. So maybe, maybe, Kelly, that's just something to look forward to instead of fearing it and being sad about it.
- [37:42]
Josh Straub
But fear leads to wisdom when it's properly channeled. And it sounds like, you know, there's wisdom and going, okay, my fear is that I'm not going to get as much time now. The wisdom is, let's make the time. Let's figure out how to upgrade to do that. Sounds like your parents did that. And then sadness. I just think it's really important, Kelly, that we do grieve, acknowledge the sadness, because what that points to is something beautiful that you lost. But when you channel it in such a beautiful way, if we don't grieve, we can't step in to the new in a healthy way. Whereas if you grieve the old, it allows you to step into the new. And in this case, your parents. What a great example to step into the new in such a beautiful way and continue the family generational blessing and legacy all around the country.
- [38:29]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, exactly.
- [38:30]
Josh Straub
What a great way to close I.
- [38:32]
Candace Cameron Bure
Know that is, guys, thank you so much. I just love you. I love you and adore you. Thank you for your wisdom, your guidance and your conversation this season. I know it is blessed so many people. And we'll enjoy, we'll just be continuing.
- [38:46]
Sponsor/Advertiser
To pray for you.
- [38:47]
Candace Cameron Bure
And I know we'll, we'll probably see you, see you around real soon.
- [38:51]
Josh Straub
To be continued.
- [38:52]
Candace Cameron Bure
TO be continued. Hey, Josh and Christy's book, Famous at Home is linked@candice.com where you can also get our free PDF called the Healthy Home Guide.
- [39:02]
Sponsor/Advertiser
It's a simple resource to help you.
- [39:03]
Candace Cameron Bure
Understand emotions in your family. Just go to Candice.com to find the link and it's also in our show notes. Guys, thanks for joining us today. Until next time, be grateful all day, every day.
- [39:18]
Sponsor/Advertiser
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