I’m Having a Pity Party About My Body! Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I’m Having a Pity Party About My Body! Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure"

The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast delves deep into the intricate themes of body image, self-esteem, and the profound impact of societal standards on personal well-being. In this heartfelt episode titled "I’m Having a Pity Party About My Body! Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure," host Candace Cameron Bure, alongside guest Allie Schnacky and her daughter Natasha Bure, engage in an honest and transformative conversation about navigating body image challenges.

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1. Opening Conversations and Personal Introductions

The episode begins with light-hearted banter among Candace, Allie, and Natasha, reflecting their close-knit relationship and comfortable rapport. This sets the stage for a genuine and introspective discussion.

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2. The Prevalence of Body Image Struggles

Candace introduces the central theme of the episode, highlighting the widespread nature of body image issues:

Candace (02:36): “I'm always so happy for the people that don't struggle with this. And I know a lot of guys struggle with it too, but I feel like more people struggle with this than not.”

Allie references statistical data to emphasize the gravity of the issue:

Allie (03:13): “Online it says 88% of women deal with poor body image because of social media, actually.”

Natasha concurs, acknowledging the pervasive influence of social media on self-perception:

Natasha (03:22): “I believe it.”

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3. Personal Stories of Body Image Insecurities

Allie Schnacky's Journey:

Allie shares her early experiences with body image, tracing back to her elementary school days:

Allie (03:46): “I think I'd like to believe that maybe when I was in middle school was when I had poor body image. But when I really think back to my childhood memories, I was even younger...”

She reflects on the unrealistic standards set during her formative years and the lasting impact they had on her self-esteem.

Candace Cameron Bure's Reflections:

Candace recounts her own childhood insecurities, particularly focusing on her arms:

Candace (04:16): “I have very vivid memories being in fifth grade and sixth grade and felt so bad about my body. And not that anyone even said anything bad about my body, but like I hated my arms.”

She narrates an incident with her cousin Megan, illustrating how envy and comparison can stem from internal insecurities:

Candace (04:53): “I remember that day I was so insecure because I was wearing a tank top and my arms were exposed. I felt so self-conscious...”

Natasha Bure's Experiences:

Natasha opens up about her childhood admiration for "America's Next Top Model" and her subsequent self-doubt:

Natasha (06:29): “I just remember thinking, like, I wanted to go on that show when I was older. Like, that was my dream...”

She underscores the damaging effects of constant comparison and unrealistic beauty standards from a young age.

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4. The Evolution of Body Image Standards

The trio discusses how societal standards of beauty have shifted over the decades:

Candace (07:20): “The images that were fed, though, they really have changed over the last 30, 20, 10 years. Because even growing up, I’m thinking of all the '90s models that were my refrigerator inspiration...”

Natasha observes current trends favoring curvier body types:

Natasha (08:29): “It's also funny how I feel like there are cultural trends in terms of the body types that women have... they're getting like this hourglass shape.”

They critique the influence of high-profile figures like the Kardashians, noting the pressure to emulate their physiques:

Candace (09:22): “You think about the Kardashians, who have so much weight in terms of whatever they do, people follow...”

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5. Body Positivity Movement: Balancing Acceptance and Health

Allie's Perspective:

Allie shares her nuanced view on the body positivity movement, acknowledging its benefits while expressing concerns about potential extremes:

Allie (14:00): “I think sometimes it goes so extreme to where we're almost encouraging in a way, not being healthy.”

She emphasizes the importance of striving for the healthiest version of oneself rather than complacency:

Allie (15:55): “We're called to call each other to the healthiest, most fun, free versions of ourselves.”

Natasha's Insights:

Natasha reinforces the idea that true body positivity stems from internal confidence rather than external validation:

Natasha (10:52): “I think it's really personal to person. I know there's days where I feel super confident about my body...”

She highlights the role of familial support in fostering a healthy body image:

Natasha (12:01): “My dad was so adamant about never placing value on really what I looked like in my body...”

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6. The Role of Family and Positive Reinforcement

Both Candace and Natasha emphasize the pivotal role their father ("Papa") played in shaping a positive relationship with their bodies. Candace shares a personal revelation inspired by her family's approach:

Candace (12:28): “I feel like you felt a lot of confidence in your body, which actually inspired me and made me think about the way I would talk about my body...”

Natasha echoes this sentiment, noting how their father's focus on health over appearance instilled lasting positive habits:

Natasha (20:25): “You have to consider how you're speaking about yourself because you really don't know who's listening and who's around.”

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7. Spiritual Insights and Personal Revelations

A profound moment in the episode centers around Candace's dream, which draws parallels with a biblical story from Numbers 22. This revelation reshapes her perspective on self-talk and body appreciation:

Candace (21:10): “I was working through some really deep issues in therapy, and I had a dream...”

She narrates the dream where her body speaks to her, reminding her of its unwavering support and functionality:

Candace (21:10): “Have I not been the body that's carried you all the days of your life?...”

This spiritual epiphany reinforces the importance of gratitude and positive self-talk:

Candace (22:35): “That your body is not a garbage can. So treat it well, fuel it right.”

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8. The Therapeutic Power of Physical Activity

Natasha and Candace discuss how exercise serves as a vital tool for mental health and body positivity. Natasha shares her father's method of using physical activity to channel emotions, which she initially perceived as punishment but later recognized as a form of mental healing:

Natasha (30:09): “Whenever I had an attitude... my dad used to send me on runs...”

She credits exercise with providing mental clarity and boosting her mood:

Natasha (32:22): “It's the releasing of these endorphins that does help your mental health so much.”

Candace echoes this, highlighting how exercise has been a positive force in her life despite her ongoing struggles with body image:

Candace (27:56): “Things that I really do love to combat some of those negative feelings... has been exercise.”

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9. Overcoming Personal Health Challenges

Allie opens up about her severe health struggles in 2022, which forced her to reevaluate her relationship with her body:

Allie (35:21): “I was just treating the healthy vessel that God gave me... like such trash.”

Her harrowing experience led her to embrace a healthier mindset, viewing exercise as worship and a means to honor her body:

Allie (35:50): “When I became healthy again... it was a place of worship for me.”

She shares an inspiring testimony of faith and resilience, underscoring the spiritual dimension of body appreciation:

Allie (35:50): “I love this verse... 1 Corinthians 6:19... honor God with your bodies.”

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10. Navigating Social Media and Guiding Teens

The episode concludes with a listener question from Carissa about managing teenagers' use of social media—a topic closely tied to body image concerns. Candace, Allie, and Natasha offer their perspectives based on personal experiences:

Candace's Approach:

Candace advocates for delaying social media exposure until high school or later, emphasizing the need for boundaries and parental oversight:

Candace (47:28): “As a general guideline... I would hold off as long as you can.”

She stresses the importance of monitoring phone usage and maintaining open communication:

Candace (51:00): “I'm in agreement with your parents that we were like, hey, you can have this and you can use it and we gave that to them. But I can look at your phone at anytime.”

Allie's Insights:

Allie shares her own challenging upbringing with unrestricted social media access, highlighting the benefits of parental involvement:

Allie (47:43): “Having my dad and my mom involved in my use of social media was a huge protection for me.”

She emphasizes the protective role parents can play by guiding their children through the digital landscape.

Natasha's Contributions:

Natasha underscores the necessity of open family communication and the importance of having a support system to navigate social media's complexities:

Natasha (51:43): “If I'm already telling you everything that's going on in my life, I'm not going to be embarrassed.”

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11. Final Reflections and Encouragement

Candace wraps up the episode with uplifting advice, encouraging listeners to practice gratitude as a tool to combat the pressures of body image:

Candace (50:15): “When life feels full of pressure, practicing gratitude really can change your day.”

She directs listeners to a gratitude guide available on her website, reinforcing the episode's theme of appreciation and self-love.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Candace (02:36): “I'm always so happy for the people that don't struggle with this...”

• Allie (03:13): “Online it says 88% of women deal with poor body image because of social media...”

• Candace (04:16): “I hate my arms...”

• Natasha (08:29): “It's also funny how I feel like there are cultural trends in terms of the body types that women have...”

• Allie (14:00): “I think sometimes it goes so extreme to where we're almost encouraging in a way, not being healthy.”

• Candace (21:10): “Have I not been the body that's carried you all the days of your life?...”

• Natasha (30:09): “Whenever I had an attitude... my dad used to send me on runs...”

• Allie (35:21): “I was just treating the healthy vessel that God gave me... like such trash.”

• Candace (47:28): “As a general guideline... I would hold off as long as you can.”

• Natasha (51:43): “If I'm already telling you everything that's going on in my life, I'm not going to be embarrassed.”

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Conclusion

This episode serves as a poignant exploration of body image issues, intertwining personal narratives with broader societal observations. Candace Cameron Bure, alongside Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure, offers listeners a blend of vulnerability, resilience, and spiritual wisdom. The conversation underscores the importance of family support, positive self-talk, and mindful engagement with social media in fostering a healthy body image. Through their shared experiences and insights, they provide both solace and actionable advice for anyone grappling with similar challenges.

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For more enriching conversations about faith, family, and purposeful living, tune into The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast and join the journey towards a kinder, more compassionate self.

Transcript

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And I've whipped my body. I've spoken to it so harshly, so mean. Why don't. Why don't you do this? But why can't you be like every other. Every other body? And then God allowed my body to speak back. And my body said back to me. Have I not been the body that's carried you all the days of your life? Grand Canyon University, a private Christian university in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, believes that we're endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. GCU equips you to serve others in ways that promote human flourishing and create a ripple effect of transformation for generations to come. Matthew 5:16 says, in the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. By honoring your career, calling you impact your family, your friends, and your community. Whether your pursuit involves a bachelor's, master's, or doctoral degree, GCU's online, on campus and hybrid learning environments are designed to help you achieve your unique academic, personal, and professional goals. Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University, private christian, affordable visit gcu.edu. life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bure podcast. We're sharing conversations about life's challenges, celebrations, and everything in between. Season 9 is Girls Under Pressure with Ali Schnacky and my daughter, Natasha Bure. Come join us. Hi, guys. Hi.

[Natasha Bure]

Hey.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Hi, guys. I feel like that's such an Instagram thing to say.

[Natasha Bure]

It's like when you vlog.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Hi, guys.

[Ali Schnacky]

Oh, my gosh. I had to. I think I still go into my vlogger voice sometimes.

[Natasha Bure]

I do all the time.

[Ali Schnacky]

So weird.

[Natasha Bure]

As soon as the camera, I'm like, hi, guys.

[Ali Schnacky]

So anyways, do you hear that?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

With the other goes up high. Yeah. I used to make fun of Natasha all the time, but then she does it, too.

[Natasha Bure]

She does the exact same thing.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But I say, hi, friends. I say friends and guys.

[Natasha Bure]

I know you do.

[Ali Schnacky]

Hi, friends.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Hi, friends. Hi, friends. She gets like.

[Natasha Bure]

She gets this soft voice.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Hi, friends.

[Natasha Bure]

And then she's like, by the way.

[Ali Schnacky]

I love it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Well, today we're talking about body image, and we talked about fashion and modesty in an earlier episode, and we kind of saved this one separate from that because it's a pretty big topic that I think a lot of us women struggle with. I'm always so happy for the people that don't struggle with this. And I know a lot of guys struggle with it too, but I feel like more people struggle with this than not.

[Ali Schnacky]

I was actually curious so I googled it and I'm good. I always wonder how they get these checker. Do you guys ever wonder like, how do they come up with how do they.

[Natasha Bure]

I always.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

Well, Online it says 88% of women deal with poor body image because of social media, actually.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, wow.

[Natasha Bure]

I believe it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, I believe it too. I thought it would be even higher than that.

[Ali Schnacky]

Really?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. So I'm really happy it doesn't.

[Ali Schnacky]

I feel like the other 12 just aren't on it.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

They are liars. When was the first time you were aware of your body and did you have positive or negative feelings associated with it?

[Ali Schnacky]

For me, honestly, I believe that it was something that I just grew up with from a really young age. I think I'd like to believe that maybe when I was in middle school was when I had poor body image. But when I really think back to my childhood memories, I was even younger than middle school probably, honestly elementary school, maybe younger than 10 years old if I'm being completely real honest. And that actually makes me really sad to say because I don't even understand how a kid could be insecure about their body.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's weird, right? I'm the same way though. I have very vivid memories being in fifth grade and sixth grade and felt so bad about my body. And not that anyone even said anything bad about my body, but like I hated my arms. I've always had this love hate relationship with my arms my entire life, really. Remember my cousin Megan went to our my elementary school for one year and I'm 52. Megan is 5, 11 or 6ft tall.

[Ali Schnacky]

Wow.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I mean now, but not when we were in middle school. But she is tall and slender and beautiful. So even we're the exact same age. So when she went to school with me that year, I remember she came over to play on the yard with me and I like pushed her or something because I was so. She was like, what was that for? And I was like so mad at her and it was just because I was jealous of her and I loved her so much. But just her now being at school, I felt like I was, I mean I was comparing my body to her body and I remember that day I was so insecure because I was wearing a tank top and it was really hot. But I've been always insecure about my arms and I felt so self conscious that day because I had the tank top on and my arms were exposed. That when she came over to play, it was just this visual of everything that I didn't look like. And so I got mad at her and pushed her.

[Ali Schnacky]

How long did. How long did you kind of feel like that towards her?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I mean, we made up immediately because we saw each other every day, and she lived really close, and I apologize to her, but. And I rem. And I think I even knew at that moment when I did or reflecting on it, that it was because I felt insecure even as a. An 11 year old or 12 year old.

[Ali Schnacky]

That's so little.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, I know. And it's really sad. It's so sad to me that I felt that insecure, that young, you know?

[Ali Schnacky]

It's so common, though.

[Natasha Bure]

I felt so insecure. I remember one of our favorite shows was America's Next Top Model. We used to watch it all the time. And, you know, the women.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Are you gonna smize for us right now?

[Natasha Bure]

No, but the women on that show were just so skinny and lanky, and that was not my body at all, especially playing tennis. Like, I just had bigger legs and all the things. And I remember we went to the beach, and I must have been. It was before I moved, so. Must have been. I was like eight or nine or something. And I just remember thinking, like, I wanted to go on that show when I was older. Like, that was my dream. Oh, I'd love to go. And then I looked at myself in the mirror in the bikini, and I was like, I'll never be able to go on that show. Like, I'm not as skinny as all those girls. And it's so sad, the fact that I was 8 years old and thinking that, you know. Yeah, it's just the images that were fed, and then the immediate comparison is just insane.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, the images that were fed, though, they really have changed over the last 30, 20, 10 years. Because even growing up, I'm thinking of all the 90s models that were my refrigerator inspiration, Meaning I'd cut the magazines out and paste them on my refrigerator and think, like, one day I'm gonna look like Kate Moss. I'll be as skinny as Kate Moss or Christy Turlington or Cindy Crawford, like all of those supermodels back in the 90s. And yet, God did just. He. He did not make my body that way. He did not. I am. I'm five foot two. So even just that alone, I'm never going to be Runway model material. But we had such thin role models in the 90s. And as the decades have progressed, especially to today, there's so much body positivity in all types of bodies and embracing your curves. And now, I mean, I look at magazines or even online magazines, and models don't look anything like they did in the 90s or 2000.

[Natasha Bure]

Totally.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Like, you see every body shape represented today.

[Natasha Bure]

It's also funny how I feel like there are cultural trends in terms of the body types that women have. So when, you know, you were growing up, it was people who were super stick skinny. And, you know, when I was growing up or even the past few years has been girls that are a little bit curvier and everyone's getting, you know, I don't want to say what they're getting, but. Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

What?

[Natasha Bure]

Getting like a cell or something?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

Like, they're getting, like, this hourglass shape.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Where before it's a booty.

[Ali Schnacky]

That's all they made fun of it. Like, I think about how JLO used to get made fun of her butt. Yeah. Now it's like, whatever.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

That's what I'm saying.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

So it's crazy how there's just like, the trend of. With fashion, which is crazy that we're doing that with our bodies. Like, what's in and what's not, you know, and how to dress or accentuate.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So weird.

[Natasha Bure]

That's crazy.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It is weird the. The fact that. But I mean, I see the influence, and I guess some things are more crazier to me than others, but particularly, you think about the Kardashians, who have. There's. They have so much weight in terms of whatever they do, people follow. You know, they are. And especially when it comes to their body. And we've all seen several of them. Well, not so much Courtney. Right. Courtney's kind of stayed the same.

[Ali Schnacky]

I think you're right. I think.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But like, some of the other girls, like, you've seen their bodies change over the years to the point where you're like, wait, I don't think they had a butt like that. Now they do have a butt like that. And I don't think that's just working out at the gym. And then that starts a trend, literally, of, like, people just going and buying.

[Ali Schnacky]

Butts, or you're not even aware that people are buying butts. And now you're just looking at an unrealistic expectation for your natural body to look like. And you feel like trash about yourself.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Totally.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So, like, where you guys, when you hit, I mean, your young adult years, your late teens, we were. We've been in the body positivity space. Has that. Do you Think that's helped you or do you still have skewed views? Like, I still have to.

[Natasha Bure]

I mean, to be honest with you, I think no matter how much again, body positivity there is or positive affirmation, it's just a deep insecurity within yourself, you know, that you deal with. And so I think it's really person to person. I know there's days where I feel super confident about my body and like, not much has changed. And then the next day, literally I look the exact same and I feel terrible about myself, you know, so in this culture, I do feel that we're making strides and it is so helpful. And I love that we're embracing every body type and the uniqueness and, you know, I mean, we're such a, like, good example. Even growing up, like, my body couldn't have been more different from yours.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

And I, I always saw the way that you dressed and the way that your body is and thought you were so beautiful, but it honestly never took away from my body. And, and I knew that that relationship, you know, goes back and forth. And I think that if there was any insecurity, it was never from like other people. It's just within yourself, you know. So I'm glad that we're, we're in this climate where we are able to encourage and celebrate that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Can I. I just want to say this. Some people are just listening to this and then there's visual for some people if you're watching on YouTube. But I think if someone went to our Instagrams right now, they' Natasha, what are you talking about? Like that your body's different than your mom's? Because I think looking right now, you're.

[Natasha Bure]

A little growing up.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. Right. You're only 2 inches tall than me. Right. But growing up, right. I mean, I was. I don't want to like point out body parts because that's just weird, but.

[Natasha Bure]

Well, I know and that's fine.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Natasha was much curvier than me and I just thought it was awesome, you know, I just thought it was so good. And from my perspective, you, I, I feel like you felt a lot of confidence in your body, which actually inspired me and made me think about the way I would talk about my body, especially in front of you, because I'm like, I know that when you have self negative talk as a parent, all of that reflects down to your kids.

[Natasha Bure]

Right. Well, can I just say, even growing up, especially having played tennis, I had very big legs. I had very muscular legs. And I also was such a Late bloomer that I wasn't fitting into, like, a lot of the top that my girlfriends were. And so even with your clothes, sometimes there was, like, a disconnect in my brain because you're such a tiny person, but we just have. We're different.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. Our portions were super different. She filled out the booty, I filled out the bust.

[Natasha Bure]

You know, never, like, you know, borrow each other's things and. And whatnot. So I would look at her and go, like, I'm not fitting into anything, you know, because she's such a slender person, and we just. Our bodies are completely different. And then she would look at me and go, oh, well, maybe I had more of a blood or something like that. You know, it's just everyone is. Is truly built different. That's just how it is.

[Ali Schnacky]

Can I be honest with you guys?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

My. My opinion is probably going to be a little controversial.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

We're here for it.

[Ali Schnacky]

And that's okay, because you guys don't have to agree with me or, like, think the same thing as me, you know, But I think that it has its. Its pros and cons, for sure. I know for me, growing up, I always did. I idolized those really skinny girls. And I think in my head, when I was trying to figure out my identity as a child through my teen years, like you were talking about, I really just wanted to be skinny because I thought that that's the only body type that guys liked, Right?

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

And when you're growing up, you find so much value in if guys like you or not, what you're looking for. And so I kind of really bought into the lie that guys weren't going to like me until I looked like that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

And as I've gotten older, and this is a pro to the body positivity kind of wave that's coming through, I saw so many different body types that I had never seen before because they did not portray them at all on the Internet or on our favorite TV shows or in our magazines or anything. So when I saw these body types that resembled mine, I actually felt really confident. And it made me like, wow, I don't have to look like a stick. Like, I can be curvy and still be a woman. Like, that's amazing. And then even dating my boyfriend, Austin, I grew up. And no offense to the white guys out there, but I grew up surrounded by a ton of white guys that just like the certain type of girl, you know, they all look blonde. Sorority girls, same build, same everything. When I started dating a mixed Guy, he was like, allie, I like the curves. I like everything. And I was so shook because it was another world I didn't know about. But it gave me so much confidence that there were more people out there that liked different body types, different things. And a con, I would say for me personally, to the body positivity wave is, I think sometimes it goes so extreme to where we're, we're almost encouraging in a way, not being healthy.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, one healthy and encouraging obesity. I do agree with that too.

[Ali Schnacky]

And that doesn't set right with me because I will see like advertisements in a store for a certain outfit. And instead of inspiring me to be the best version of the body God's given me, it's encouraging me to say where I'm at or get worse and that it's okay. And yeah, it has nothing to do with if you deserve and don't deserve love. Everybody deserves love at every point in life that they're at. But I just think that we're called to call each other to the healthiest, most fun, free versions of ourself.

[Natasha Bure]

I think that first of all, I could not agree more. But I, I, I want to say that it's funny because sometimes we might be at the skinniest version of ourselves and think like, wow, I'm, I should be feeling my best, but it's in an unhealthy way. And then, you know, we're celebrating that. And then in the same position, you might say, well, I don't really care.

[Ali Schnacky]

What I look like.

[Natasha Bure]

Everybody's beautiful. And then I'm treating my body again in another unhealthy way. And so for me, especially with my dad growing up, he was so adamant about never placing value on really what I looked like in my body. And I'm so grateful to him for that because with all the pressures, especially that coming from a male perspective, I think is just unique. And so him being an athlete and taking care of his body and he's had his own body struggles when he was younger and figuring out, you know, how to put on muscle or lose fat when he's training and things like that, those are all things he had to deal with. But I know when I was growing up, it was never, oh, you lost weight, so you look really great. It was you, you worked out today. You got in movement, you've been eating healthy. I just notice a difference in your whole aura, just everything about you, you know, And I know that you're working hard on being the best and healthiest version of yourself. And you look incredible for that. And that's where I say everybody's beautiful. And that's where I say when you are truly taking care of yourself, it really doesn't matter what the outer appearance is. But when you're lacking in your health and your motivation and your will to fuel your body in the best ways, that's where I do believe that the, you know, the body positivity wave movement can become, you know, a little tricky.

[Ali Schnacky]

So good, Natasha. So true.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm so glad that you have papa in your life.

[Natasha Bure]

Me too.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And I have him in my life too, because that was just a good reminder for me. And it's true, he has always said that. And I'm much more of the person that's thought negatively about my body for so many years. But it's always been about the fitness, the health, like, are you getting in movement today? Are you treating your body well? And that's always been a struggle for me. And I'm grateful that he's poured those positive words in. And so again, for those of you listening, if you don't have someone that's pouring those words into you, you can be that person to pour into someone else.

[Natasha Bure]

When you're speaking negatively about yourself, it's one thing when you're doing it, you know, in the privacy of you in a mirror or something like that, you know, and obviously that's not great at all. But when you're around other people, you really don't realize who it's affecting. And if I'm talking about the way that I feel and if I'm saying, oh, I woke up and I, you know, I, if I have one pimple on my face and the girl next to me has a bunch of acne, but I'm sitting there tearing myself down and calling myself ugly for the one pimple that I have, I can't imagine how I'm making her feel.

[Ali Schnacky]

Right?

[Natasha Bure]

And so I have to be so mindful of the way that I speak about myself when I'm around other people because I never want to invalidate someone's feelings about their confidence or the way that they look or feel about themselves. And that's something that, why my friends and I, like I told you, if there's one negative comment, it's just nip it in the bud. We don't even need to go there because if you know, one of my best friends, she's almost 6 foot, she's a lot taller than me, and so naturally she's a lot bigger than me. But it doesn't mean that her body is any less beautiful than mine. But sometimes I've caught myself speaking negatively and she's a lot bigger and, you know, she'll try to console me and then I'm like, man, I, I can't even imagine how I probably just made her feel because she's bigger than me and has nothing to do with weight.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's just like how she just made me. And she is so healthy.

[Natasha Bure]

She is so on her game. And so that's also something that I want to encourage. You know, the listener here is just be mindful of the way that you also speak about yourself because you really don't know who's listening and who's around. And that's for parents, you know.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. How. Here's my question to you. How much, how much have I damaged you or formed your own self image because of what you saw, saw or heard me say or do, or was there anything positive? Because obviously I think a lot of people know I've struggled with an eating disorder most of my life, but that's been like a roller coaster, the ups and downs of it. But in more, you know, recent years, it's been pretty steady and I have a pretty good grip on, on what I do love and have really enjoyed fitness in my life and, and that kind of stuff. But were there any standout moments? We're going into therapy territory. Standout moments of my, my self talk that affected you?

[Natasha Bure]

The thing that always confused me is that you were so encouraging about my body and I had such a different looking body than yours, especially when I was younger and in my teen years. So to me, I think if anything it was just more confusing because I know that you would be like, wow, Natasha, you look amazing in those jeans. Wow, you look so beautiful in that dress. But maybe I was like significantly heavier than you, so I didn't really understand then when you would look in the mirror and say like, oh, I don't like the way my arms look, or I don't like the way that this looked because to me I'm like, you're so beautiful and there's so many things about you. But honestly, I will say that our family just really did such a good job of honing in on the importance of health and fueling your body. And my dad always made this analogy of treat your body again, like it's this expensive car, you want to fuel it with the best gas and you know, when you have a nice car, you turn on the engine for a little bit to let it warm up. Like these are things you do just to make it run as smoothly as possible. And, and, and that's how we should be treating our bodies with the most respect. And if we do that and we're really treating it like a temple, then who cares what the outside looks like?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm only giggling because of the one video that you shot and you tried to make me eat things that I didn't want to eat. And I was like, but my body is not a garbage can. That is so irrelevant. But that's, that's like what you've always said and what you're saying with papa is that our body is not a garbage can. So treat it well, fuel it right.

[Ali Schnacky]

I, I had a very different upbringing when it came to that. And honestly, I love hearing stories like that, Natasha, because it encourages me for my future and like, how to raise my family, how I want, I want to instill in them these values that really I just didn't know about growing up. And I honestly. And this could be something you agree with, maybe don't. But I honestly think when it comes to, like, weight and when it comes to body image and poor self body image and all those things, that it can really be a generational curse. Yeah. Even when it comes to binging and eating disorders or whatever. And so my family in particular, we all, all of us, and I would pull my siblings in here, they'd say the same thing. I think that from a very young age, our extended family, our grandparents, our parents were always making comments, jokes about the way that they looked about feeling not good in their body and then going on crash diets. I mean, I can't even remember drinking a regular Coke when I was young. We were drinking Diet Cokes from when we were kids just because our parents were not feeling good in their own skin. And then they'd go on a crash diet, really want to, like, get better. They just didn't really know that every single day balance. They just didn't know better, you know, and as a kid, I just, I didn't know any better either. I just thought it was normal to view your body like that. And so I was always extremely insecure about the way that I look. And even in my teen years, I look back and I was so thin and it makes me so sad because I genuinely thought I was so overweight. And I don't know how I thought that because I look back and I wasn't. And I think we have so much power in our minds, we don't really understand. And I actually remember being in elementary school. It's funny you brought up your elementary school. I remember being in my elementary school and I really wasn't even overweight. I was just kind of like a little fluffier.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

You know, and I hadn't even hit puberty yet. And I remember feeling like insecure about the way that I look too. And this kid coming up to me and saying to me something like, oh my gosh, you're so fat or something. And it hit me so hard. And I think I made it mean common back I was a kid and said, well, I can change that, but you can't change your face. Right. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's horrible. My dad made me go back and apologize, but I was so hurt from such a young age. And I carried that comment with me throughout, honestly, probably all throughout my high school years. That one thing that somebody said to me on elementary school. Yeah, honestly, I feel thankful because my family kind of is to a place now where they're pursuing health and they're looking. They got their little app. I don't even know what it's called, but they scan everything and we've kind of like balanced out everything. But that was definitely a struggle for me growing up watching my parents speak so poorly about themselves and constantly make jokes because it, I, I took it on and so did my siblings.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. And generational curse. I agree. My mom has been a crash dieter her whole life, so we saw that modeled for us. And that was, that's been me. I've literally been on every single diet plan since I was 12 years old. Like, I've tried all of them. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, nutrisystem.

[Ali Schnacky]

Oh, me too.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

The Critican diet, and then every little weird diet in between.

[Natasha Bure]

She's a recent carnivore.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Carnivore for sure. Which I do enjoy. But anyway, it is. And I, I thought to myself, I mean, the other day as I still struggle, because I. A lot of people ask me on social media, can you please tell me your eating plan? And I won't tell anyone my eating plan. And it's not because I'm. There's anything I'm hiding, but I'm still trying to figure my, my eating rhythms as I age because it does change as you get older. And I'm in that state of maybe perimenopause, whatever. There's discussions. Perimenopause, like before menopause. I would say I'm not fully in it yet, per my doctor, but lots of people on the Internet want to tell me that I am. So anyway, but, like, your hormones and all that.

[Ali Schnacky]

That's hilarious. Why do people do that?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I know. Yeah, it is funny. But all of that changes. So with that, I'm trying to find what helps me with my body right now. Like, what type of eating do I want to do? What do I need to change? Because some things that I did in the past worked really well, and now I'm finding they're not working well. But all of that to say. I kept thinking, I'm like, why is eating so hard? Why is it so hard? Like, in terms of. Yeah, there's the food is in abundance. Not all healthy food, but food's everywhere. And I'm like, when did food have to consume my life? And I think that's what bothers me so much. I've personally never been a free eater in terms of, like, I can just, like, pick things up, munch on things, have my. Either my boyfriend's like that, not feel it on my body or not go like, oh, I'm bloated. Oh, I feel this way or that way. I've never just had a freedom to eat and be like, oh, yeah, this. I don't think about it. I do think about it all the time.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah. It becomes like an obsessive thing that you think about all the time.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. So it got really complicated. And I'm sure because I do have a history of it, eating disorder, it might be even a little more complicated in my brain. I don't know. But I've also learned that things that I really do love to combat some of those negative feelings that's really positive in my life has been exercise. And that's not the use of exercise as, you know, a form of another disordered type of thing. It is not in any way. It is something that I found actually frees my mind, gives me mental clarity when I exercise, when I sweat, when endorphins are released. So I have really loved that. And that then in turn, because I enjoy the fitness, has the effects of helping me feel even better in my body, despite what I'm eating or not eating. I've been in front of the camera my whole life, so I'm pretty seasoned as to what makes me feel comfortable on and off screen when it comes to. To makeup. So I was pleasantly surprised and delighted by Adele Natural Cosmetics. Adele carries everything for your daily skincare needs, as well as color cosmetics and so much more. They offer personalized customer service with real people, and they even provide complimentary foundation color matching. All you have to do is reach out to customer service and ask. I have personally been using the highlighter glow stick and the bronzer stick. Both products are super creamy, but not in a way that's overpowering. And they blend to perfection. And not to mention how long they both last, even on some of the busiest days. So follow Adele on Instagram. That's Dell Natural Cosmetics for lots of tutorials, behind the scenes and in encouraging content. And then use my one time use code for 25 off your first order. Use the code CANDICE for 25 off your first order.

[Natasha Bure]

This is something I'm so passionate about. Like, I could talk about this for hours. Because when I was younger, whenever I had an attitude, if I threw a tantrum, anything, my dad used to send me on runs, like a two mile run around the neighborhood or whatever, that was his form of what I thought punishment. And it wasn't until much later that I realized it was never a form of punishment. He just knew when I was physically active and I have all these endorphins releasing, I'm going to end up in a better mood. I can't name you one single time that I got back from the run or any type of workout that he'd put me through that I didn't run to him, give him a hug and say thank you for putting me through that, not once. And he'll tell you that. And I'm so grateful for him showing me what physical activity and movement can really do for your mental health. It's incredible. And I feel like there's this stigma within working out and being healthy, that working out seems like a punishment. It's hard, it's tough.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Natasha Bure]

So many people don't want to go to the gym. And you know, there's also a whole side of it. We were talking about it this morning. You don't know what to do when you go to the gym. It's intimidating. There's all these things.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

But I feel so it's a lot easier just with the access that we have online to people, you know, that can instruct you in videos and things like that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But shout out Kira Stokes. Shout out Kira Stokes, my fitness trainer.

[Ali Schnacky]

Oh, really?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

She's awesome. And she has an app. So like you, if you don't know where to start, start with Kira online.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, I think for me, number one, seeing how physical movement just put me in a better mood. But also the funniest thing, whenever I'd come to my dad and I'd say, okay, you know, I wanna tone up A little bit. Do you mind helping me? And we'd go through two weeks. You know, you're kind of in this with Papa right now. You've been following his specific workouts and whatnot. In two weeks, realistically, you're not gonna see that much of a change. You might see a little something, but it's not like your clothes aren't fitting you anymore. Whatever. But it is the mental shift and the mindset that you have of, okay, I'm actually doing something to aid my body. I look good in these jeans. Nothing's changed. You haven't lost weight. Your butt isn't any bigger.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But I think my butt is a little bigger. By the way, two weeks I've been working out with Val. I still work out with Kira, but like, I've been lifting heavy with Val, and he's like, babe, I feel the butt. But mom, you've got a butt.

[Ali Schnacky]

So encouraging.

[Natasha Bure]

But mom, for the average person. Person. Because I'm just saying most people are not going to see the immediate results. True. And so. But the funny thing is that mentally I will think, oh, my gosh, I look so much better.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

And it's just the little things that then shift your mentality and your mindset. And so I'm such an advocate for getting out and getting physical movement in every day. It doesn't need to be going to the gym. It doesn't need to be this two hour strenuous workout. You can go on a walk, you can go and call a friend and get steps in.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Natasha Bure]

You can go on a hike, you can go swimming, you can do whatever. But it's all these things that really. It's just the releasing of these endorphins that does help your mental health so much. You become so much clearer, you sleep better, all these things. And I think for body positivity, it's not necessarily about the looks. It's just the confidence that it brings you.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

It's so true. And I've been. I've been thinking as we're talking. I do want to be sensitive too, because I know there are. There might be people listening that have health issues that restrict them.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, for sure.

[Ali Schnacky]

From doing certain things. And that's where I. I love how this conversation is really steering and playing out about how it's. It's not as much the way you look. It's just doing what you can to take care of the vessel that God's blessed you with.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

I know a pivotal moment in my life was. And I shared this with y'all but I got sick in 2022. And I always, always, always, my whole life struggled with the way that I looked. And I wanted to be skinnier. And I just didn't feel good about myself, especially being online, too. People make so many comments that are just uncalled for and make you paranoid about the things you already were down about. And so when I got sick in 2022, I literally lost 25 pounds in probably four months. And it was really unhealthy. My body was just shutting down. I had so many different things that they couldn't figure out was wrong with me. I was in and out of ERs. I couldn't eat anything because my body would reject it. My throat would swell up. But I didn't have any allergies, so they literally couldn't help me. And it got to the point where I was so bad. I was on oxygen for a couple of months, just in my room. I couldn't leave my room. And I remember being the skinniest I ever was. I was below my goal weight and looking at myself in the mirror and just sobbing my eyes out. That I took advantage and treated the healthy vessel that God gave me my entire life up to that point like such trash. When literally the most valuable thing that I wanted was my health. Back where I would hate to go to the gym before it was like you said it was. It was a struggle. Like I hated. It was a punishment. Now I would do anything to just be healthy again, to be able to better myself and just be in there and I'd be privileged to do it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

Because that was the most important thing. And I really thought I was going to die in that season of my life. Like, I say that in a way, but I really did. It was a really dark season. And I remember praying to God and just saying, lord, if you get me out of this, because none of the doctors can, like, I will never treat my body like that again.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

And he did. By the grace of God. He spoke a word over me. And one night he told me he was going to heal me at this worship event. And I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I chose to believe. You know what him, he says him who is double minded should expect to receive nothing. Right. So I said, you know what? I'm going to believe. And he literally healed me that night.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Wow.

[Ali Schnacky]

And started my journey towards, like a healthy mindset. And I've never been the same since. And it reminds me so much. I love this verse. And I'm going to read it to you guys, because I want to encourage you guys to. But it's First Corinthians, chapter 6, verse 19, and it says you should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit that you received from God and that lives in you. You don't own yourselves. You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies. And when I became healthy again, and I remember the first time going to the gym, I was so weak, I literally. Guys, it was pathetic. I had to use my arms as weights because I couldn't lift any weight. My boyfriend laughs at me for it. But it really became a place of worship for me. Where before it might have been a punishment, now it was somewhere that I could go. And even when I didn't feel like it, I felt like I was worshiping the Lord. I felt heard from him when I was there. I was giving my. Pushing beyond what I wanted to, like giving my best. And I really feel like he meets us in those moments when, yeah, we're pushing even what we want to the side to bring glory to him, take care of what he's given us.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So, yeah, that's so good. It is. I'm going to share one, one little story with you guys before we go to a listener question. But I was. I. I had a dream. I was. I was working through some really deep issues in therapy, and I had a dream one night, and it was so random to me. There is. There is a story in the Bible. It's in numbers 22, and it's when the donkey, God opens the donkey's mouth and it talks to its master. So in the story, there's this guy Balaam, who talks. Who. Who. He hears God. And he is going to. To. Then he. He's going to the King Balak's place. And as he. He gets on his donkey, and he's about to go through kind of a narrow road, and the donkey sees the angel of the Lord, which I believe is Jesus. He sees the angel of the Lord and the donkey turns and goes to the right into the field. And Balaam whips his donkey and says, get back, we need to go down this road. So he goes to this road and the angel of the Lord appears again. And the donkey sees the angel and he pushes Balaam up against the wall now and smashes his foot. So Balaam whips his donkey and says, what are you doing? And then a third time, he tries to make the donkey go through the narrow road. And the donkey then gets down on all fours and Balaam whips his donkey again and says, what are you. What are you doing? And at that moment, the angel of the Lord opened up the donkey's mouth and the donkey spoke to Balaam and said, what are you doing? Why'd you whip me three times? Have I not been the. Your donkey? And I'm paraphrasing, have I not been the donkey that's carried you all the days of. Of your life? Have I always been loyal to you? How often have I veered from what you've asked me to do? And at that moment, God then reveals himself, the angel of the Lord. And now Balaam sees that there's an angel in the path. Huge, With a. With a sword, I believe. I mean, massive. Just so that there's no way the donkey could pass. He's blocking the way. And at that moment, Balaam's eyes was. Were like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to the donkey. I'm. I didn't see. I didn't know. So that's the story that's in the Bible. And I wake up from this dream one day, one morning, and God just vividly showed me that I've been like Balamb and I've whipped my body. I've spoken to it so harshly, so mean. What are you doing? Why do you look this way? Why do you. Why are you fast? Why don't. Why don't you do this? But why can't you be like every other. Every other body? And then God, like, allowed my body to speak back, and my body said back to me. Have I not been the body that's carried you all the days of your life? Am I not your legs that allow you to walk? Am I not your arms that allow you to pick up and feed yourself? I don't sh. I don't. I don't do anything that you don't ask me to do. I follow you and I'm obedient to you. Why do you hurt me so badly? And why do you talk to me so badly? And why do you treat me this way? I can. I can lift you up, I can give you strength and weights, but you have to tell me what to do. I'm only following your lead. And it was like this amazing revelation in my life and the weirdest story out of the Bible that God spoke to me about how mean I've been to my body, and yet I just never. I never saw it that way. It's this, like, beautiful, amazing thing that God gave me. And, you know, I get to drive it I get to steer it and. But sometimes my body will react in ways because I'm not treating it right or well. And it tries to tell me that, you know, but it was so. It was so enlightening for me. And I was so grateful to God for sharing that with me. And it. Since that time, it's given me a whole different perspective of how I think about my body. And when I want to use harsh words against it or I'm just unhappy with it, I just. I think about that story and then I think about the gratitude that I have for my body, that I literally have feet, that I can still walk, I can. It can carry me, that I can pick up my kids, I can go grocery shopping, I can go to work. I can lift my arms up high in celebration. I mean, all the things, great things that my body gives me. And so it's just this amazing story and reminder. And I hope that that encourages someone today about when they're thinking about negative self talk, that you actually think about this beautiful body that God gave you that's so.

[Ali Schnacky]

That's so powerful. You know, there are some things that you hear in your life that you just don't forget, and that's one of them, you know?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Well, I hope for anyone that. Yeah. That that would be effective and powerful for them to think about. I hope you never forget it either. I'll never forget it.

[Ali Schnacky]

I know. I will never forget that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay, let's take a listener question. This is from Carissa, and we have talked about this in our. In a previous episode about balance, but it's a question a lot of parents have because it also relates to body image. She said. I love the parenting teens episode with Josh and Kristy Straub.

[Natasha Bure]

Yay.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm so glad you did. My question is, what guidance can you give on how you handle the social media world with teens? Currently, our family stance is no social media, But I'm curious, what's a good age to introduce it and how do you instill safe use of it?

[Natasha Bure]

You guys didn't let us use social media, I think, till I was like, maybe 15.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Also.

[Natasha Bure]

That's kind of when you were getting on it yourself. So we didn't get on it, you know, until. Until that age. But.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And I would even refine that now myself.

[Natasha Bure]

Totally. But you guys were still pretty restrictive with our time limit on it and what we were allowed to be on the platforms. Like, I know I could. I don't think I could have a Facebook, but you let me have, like, and Instagram. That you monitor that, like, you know, I could post photos on and things like that. I think so much is just, yeah, I would probably do the same, if not more than what you did. And just like.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right. We did put, we put boundaries on it. I think we allowed it starting around high school. But again, I would answer that differently now because you guys are older. I would be more restrictive with it because really? Yes. Like our son Lev went off social media completely, especially when he was in college. And you know, that was like a whole world opening up because he didn't have any of that to fight for his time when he's working a full job and going to school at the same time. And I also feel like even since you guys were in high school that there's just so much more on social media that is even more dangerous. And I think as, as time is going on, we're seeing the collective data and understanding that too much of this is affecting. We talked about depression and anxiety with our kids. So for me, I mean the minimum would be to hold off to high school, but I'm kind of like you could hold off to. Till they're adults and say, okay, now you're 18, you get to make your decisions. I'm like, I would hold ask, I would hold off as long as you can.

[Natasha Bure]

I think my only posing question to that, not that I'm in full disagreement, but I think that what are your thoughts on someone not having any experience with it? And then all of a sudden you get a smartphone, you have the world is your oyster and not really knowing how to handle it because they weren't given the doses of it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I understand that, but I can look to my sister who has five kids. She homeschools all of them and her oldest is 18 and I think she just got a phone at 18. Like none of the kids have phones, none of them are on social media. But she's allowed them to have a few minutes on her phone occasionally to even know what that looks like. But from what I understand, I think that Kate, who's their oldest, is managing that really well. And it's not like this source of, oh, I didn't have it, now I have to go crazy with it.

[Natasha Bure]

I think also each kid is so different. And that's just why I post the question. Because for Kate, she was able to do that if I was in her position. I honestly don't think that would be my case. Which is only why I, I asked.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, I mean, I think parents should make decisions based on their kids strengths and Weaknesses, what they know about them. But as a general guideline, I mean, as a parent, I wouldn't say social media before high school.

[Ali Schnacky]

I would say from my perspective, which is a little bit different and I love it. My, my parents, I actually don't remember them ever having rules on us when it came to TV social media, which as I get older, I realize that's not really the norm, you know.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Ali Schnacky]

I don't really think we ever abused it. I don't remember when I first got social media. I can imagine it was probably when I was in maybe middle school, maybe. But something that my dad always had in line from the second that we did have social media was at any point, and this was our phones too. At any point, he was going to walk in your room and you did not know when he would take your phone and he was going to go through the entire thing.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

And that put the fear of the Lord in you. That was the scariest thing you could ever imagine in your life. And honestly, it kept. It kept us all in check.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

Also, when you have a parent that's a believer, they just have this weird discernment when they know exactly when to walk in, when, like, you've been good for, like, ever. And then they walk in right at that moment that you just texted a boy and you're like, where have you been the last three weeks?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right.

[Ali Schnacky]

And so for me personally, having my dad and my mom that involved in my use of social media was a huge protection for me.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

And I really loved it. But it still gave me the freedom to be able to experiment, like, know what was going on kind of in the world of my peers.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And yeah.

[Ali Schnacky]

Truthfully, from my perspective, and everybody just has to go based off what they believe, their families. But from my perspective, most people, like most kids, I feel like, move out when they're around, like, let's just say 18. Like when they become an adult, let's say they move out. Right. So obviously you guys know that's not my case, but let's just say they do. I would so much rather navigate, have my dad navigate that world with me while I'm still in his household and he can speak wisdom to me because I have to listen to him, I'm in his house, than to be on my own and then have this whole entire world and him not be there and think I can just do it myself, you know, for sure.

[Natasha Bure]

So I think it's such a tendency when you're not exposed to certain things. I mean, it's even the same conversation with not having friends who are believers or just like, there's certain aspects of life when you're not privy to what that looks like, then when you get out in the real world, it's so much easier to make mistakes. You really don't know what you're doing. And then when you get to that age, you just, you don't have your parents holding your hand through it. And as much as that isn't super fun to have your parents monitoring your phone the same way that, you know, you would take our phones and things like that, I truthfully would rather have that than, yeah, no context of what that world looks like and then being dropped in it and I'm making ten times more mistakes.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Sure, I understand that. And we had that rule too. We were like, we can look at your phone at any time. I, I really don't understand so much the, the argument from, from parents when they say, yeah, but I want to respect my kids privacy. But I'm like, but are you paying for the phone bill? Because like, if I'm paying for my kid's phone bill, I have every right to that phone and I can look at it anytime that I want. So if we don't have, you know, in privacy settings, like, they can figure out how to undo those and go around those. So, you know, I'm in agreement with your parents that we were like, hey, you can have this and you can use it and we gave that to them. But I can look at your phone at anytime. And if you change that password and you're going to have to tell me the new password, like, that just doesn't fly.

[Ali Schnacky]

And if I find out you're deleting things, you're in trouble.

[Natasha Bure]

And honestly, I would say, at least for me, the only things that I was ever hiding was just things that either I was not uncomfortable to talk about, but if we didn't have conversations about them, and that's why I've been so adamant just about open communication within family between parents. Because then what do I have to hide? If I'm already telling you everything that's going on in my life, I'm not going to be embarrassed. Because to be honest, half the things that I probably wouldn't want her seeing maybe was me texting with my crush. But that was just because I'm like, oh, we don't, I don't, I don't tell you a girl's name. I don't. But I have done that. I actually did that recently for like a friend's surprise. And I was, like, blowing someone's mind about that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I love this conversation, Carissa. I hope our our answers helped you, too. We got to wrap this one up. Thank you so much. And just remember, when life feels full of pressure, practicing gratitude really can change your day. We created a gratitude guide for you this season with daily reminders and scripture readings. Go to Candice.com to find the link. It's also in our show notes. Until next time, be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment. All rights reserved.