
Priscilla and Candace share some of the practical aspects of finding a mentor, of finding someone to disciple them,
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A
And it was kind of an embarrassing question for me because I realized I didn't have an answer. And at that time in my Life. Yeah, at 16, God was not a priority in my life. And she knew that, of course. She was just trying to stir those questions up. But I'll never forget it. Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bure Podcast. We're here to share conversations about life's challenges, celebr and everything in between. Priscilla Shire is with us for season eight. Come join us. Hey, you. We're having.
B
Hey, you.
A
We're having fun.
B
We are. We've had a great time.
A
You just walked in with about six purses on your. Well, I do person.
B
Absolutely. Because I think both of us are bag ladies.
A
Yes.
B
I don't think I have quite as many good ones as you do, but I've been admiring yours while we've been in your studio, so I just decided to put them all on.
A
It was pretty funny. I now see the mischievous Priscilla.
B
Yeah, I'm a little mischievous.
A
So cute. I have enjoyed this journey with you.
B
It's been so great for having me.
A
Yeah, no, it's been such wonderful conversation. And we've been talking about surrendering it all to God and. And becoming ultimately the person that he wants us to become. And we talked a lot in our last episode about the women who shaped us and being ambassadors for Christ and leading well and teaching others as we grow. So this week, I really want to lean into that, into discipleship and specifically, how do we find mentors? How do we find people to disciple us? Some people might be thinking, especially if a younger person, if you are, you know, a teenager, if you're college age, if you are just a young adult, however, I think you can have a mentor at any age. I still always want mentors for my.
B
Totally.
A
But it's something that maybe you haven't thought of and you're just like, oh, I didn't even think that I could go ask someone to be a mentor. So what would that look like? Like, how would you tell someone to approach that?
B
Well, I'm thinking of a biblical picture of that and then also illustrations from my own life. But in the Old Testament, you know, you see Elijah and Elisha, and they had this unique dynamic where they were very much relational and intimate with each other in a relational way and connected to each other. And there was the older, wiser prophet that's pouring into the life of the younger and giving him guidance and wisdom and blessing his journey. And in. In that, you see this older guy, Elijah, he literally goes and finds Elisha. It's almost like the responsibility is on him to go look for an Elisha, and he's looking for a guy that's already working. So when he spots Elisha, Elisha is plowing a field. He's. He is industrious, he's resourceful. He's not just sort of lazily waiting around for somebody to give him a hand up. He's doing what's in front of him to do. Elijah notices that and then says, let's walk together. You're worth investing in. So I think there's lessons to be learned on both sides.
A
Yeah.
B
For me, I will say in my life, the proactive nature of that kind of caught on with me that it's okay to see somebody, whether whichever side of the coin you're on, to see somebody who has something you want to emulate, you want to learn about. It doesn't just have to do with spiritual matters, but they have a marriage that they enjoy, and they're 20 years into it, or they built a successful business and they've had some integrity in doing it, and you've watched them go through the struggles of it, but they've got a business that's doing well. And you are a young entrepreneur. You want to learn from that. Or if social media is your thing and you've watched this person build a platform but not get caught up in it, to where their whole significance is tethered to how many people do or don't follow them or the brand deals they do or don't have. If somebody's doing well in an area where you're already working like your passion is there, you've already done some and laid some groundwork, and you see somebody who's further down the road than you, then first of all, if you don't see that, ask the Lord to open your eyes to that. Those people are right there. They're around you. They're in your sphere. They're probably in your local church or in some sort of community that you've already have established. And if you just say, lord, open up my eyes, they'll appear to you, even though they've been right in front of you.
A
Yeah.
B
The whole time. And then go ask them, hey, would you be willing to spend a little time with me? I just have three questions I wanted to ask you and be open to the way that that potential mentor is able to accommodate that. Sometimes we want mentoring to look like, we want it to look, we want the person to be available, when we want them to be available, and how we want them to be available. But if they say to you, you know what, if you email me those three questions, I'll email you back my answers. And that's what they're able to offer you in that moment. Receive that, take that, say thank you, and then trust the Lord to potentially develop that more or differently in the future. So there's. There's a. Both and side to.
A
Yeah.
B
What that can look like. But I do think we have to be proactive in the establishing of these relationships.
A
Yeah. So I'm. I'm going to think of some of the people that have mentored me in my life, but I would love to know just off the top of your head, what some. Did you. Did you ever go ask and ask someone to mentor you?
B
I did. There was a lady in our church, her name was Maria. And I think I said in one of the previous episodes that my original intention was to be in broadcast journalism. I wanted to be. I wasn't exactly sure how I would be on television. I thought news, that was my goal. And there was a woman in our church that she was a television personality. She didn't necessarily do journalism. She was a television person. She had hosted a couple of shows. She was pretty successful. And I went straight to her and I said, you know, I really need some insight on what this looks like. She had kind of tagged me a couple of times. We'd see each other in church and see, she'd say hello. And so we had a little bit of a rapport with each other. And she had even said to me a couple times, I think you'd be really good on tv. And she said, when you go to college, no matter what you study, you should consider doing industrials or commercials just for extra money. Like, you could just, as a college student, just kind of earn money that way, even if it's not the career that you go into. And so she just said it casually. But as I got towards that season of my life, I kind of went to her and said, would you be willing to walk me through? I have no concept of what this industry looks like, what television looks like, what news looks like. Would you walk me through how to do that? She said, sure, and not only talked me through it, but invited me over to her house, did my makeup one day so that she could take headshots of me so that I could have a headshot. She knew a couple agents in Houston. I went to the University of Houston and helped me to submit a resume that had nothing on it. But she helped me to just format it, get this little biopic that she had, and send it to those agents so that I could do a little, like, industrial work and stuff like that through college. So. And I'm still in touch with that woman to this day, 30 years later. So just her little investment in me in that season.
A
Yeah.
B
Was instrumental in, you know, and the Lord used that season to kind of turn the tide of my life as I look back on in a certain direction. And she was instrumental in that.
A
So, yeah, I talked about my friend Chalene. I'm going to talk about her again because, again, I like this Chalene. You would love her.
B
Really? Yeah.
A
And I don't know if you've ever met her in passing, because now she's done so many just wonderful things in the world anyway. She often will speak at conferences, too, on behalf of compassion. Oh, nice.
B
Yeah.
A
But she is just a bold woman for Jesus and a bold person for people. She's just an advocate for people. And she was the first one that mentored me in a way that I had no idea because, again, just like you, I was 13, 14, 15, and she was at five or six years older, was married at 20.
B
Wow.
A
And we would. She would invite me to lunch, same things. And I remember one day we had dinner and we were at her apartment, and she was like, so tell me. So tell me what God's doing in your life. And at that time in my Life. Yeah.
B
At 16, you didn't have a concept.
A
God was not a priority in my life.
B
Yeah.
A
And it was kind of an embarrassing question for me because I realized I didn't have an answer and it wasn't an important part of my life in that moment. She knew that, of course, she was being, you know, just trying to stir those questions up, but I'll never forget it. And she would, you know, kind of probe. She would just gently say, like, you know, and because she's also very bold in her personality, it didn't feel like she was picking on me. But she was never shy to ask something. And she'll. She was like, well, why don't you go home and pray about that? Like, if you can't. If you can't answer that question, if that's not coming, like, to you, then maybe you should talk to God about that. And we'll go. We'll talk about it next week.
B
Yeah, that's great.
A
And so she was probably my. My first. The first Person that I didn't realize till later, oh, she took an investment in me, and she still does today. We're great friends. I mean, she was in my wedding. She was one of my bridesmaids, and that's awesome. We have done a lot of stuff together. And she's someone that has had this incredible journey in her own life that I truly want to make a movie about one day because there's just so much incredible depth there. But I also think of some of the ladies when I. When I start, when I really got right with God and said, oh, my relationship with Jesus is about me and Jesus. It's not about the default of my parents. And this is how I was raised or because of anyone else when I was like, oh, God, I really want to know you, because I want to know you. The first women that were there were so instrumental in my life because I felt like I was walking that walk by myself for the first time, was living in Florida. My parents weren't really around, and. And even my sisters. We all in our family came to Christ at very different years of our lives. We're all Christians, but very. At a very different pace. And so the. The first few ladies that were in my neighborhood, when I had asked, hey, I'm looking for a Bible study and even a church to go to, which was kind of a scary thing for me. But I was like, do you know of any. Any place or where I could go? And there's a woman, Debbie Moreland, who was my neighbor, who was just so lovely. And she said, well, I'm a Christian, and I would love to start a Bible study with you.
B
Oh, wow.
A
And, you know, she was Probably, I'm guessing, 20 years older than me, maybe, and maybe not that. Maybe, sorry, Debbie aged you. But I was only in my early 20s, so it was. She just became a spiritual mentor in that we met every week at my house. It grew to about, you know, six ladies, maybe eight ladies at a time. But to have people just to talk to. I never knew my Bible. I didn't start going to church until I was even 12 years old. But at that, it wasn't. I just wasn't raised with it. So saying like, wait, John the Baptist isn't the same John that's in John 1, 2, and 3. Like, wait, I didn't know. That was a different person. And it was. She just held my hand through so much of it, and it was so wonderful in that sense.
B
That's so great.
A
Yeah.
B
Now you're, you know, as you're talking you're making all the. The memories. Yeah, the memories. As a young wife, I wanted to do what I could to make my home a sanctuary. Were my husband and then children eventually. And there was a woman I'd known since I was a teenager. Her name was Tammy Maltby. She was actually my parents friend and her. And her husband at the time. And she was one of, is one of the most spectacular homemakers I have ever known. You know, the kind of people, you walk in your, their home and you're just like. Because it is beautiful.
A
Yes.
B
And it's not just like, because they have expensive stuff. That's actually not it at all.
A
Right.
B
It's put together, but there are personal touches and there are little nuances of the way they situate things. And then there's a sense of just peace and coziness. Not ostentatiousness, if that's a word. This is the essence of Tammy. And my mother was an incredible homemaker and just hospitable and everything was luscious. And she cared very much about our home and Tammy was that way. And I would go to her house and kind of be a little bit mesmerized, like looking at her window covering. She'd go get branches from trees outside, kind of cut them, put stuff on them and put them on the corners of the, the, the window, you know, wow. Railing. And make these gorgeous, ornate, outdoorsy, natural looking thingies. So she would invite me into her home because she knew I was like, enamored by it.
A
Yeah.
B
She could make a charcuterie board that you ain't never seen in your life before. People were doing it before. There were Instagram photos to make it work, you know. And so she would let me go through her recipe boxes and pull out little recipes of things, take pictures of them. I still have them to this day. This is 22 years ago. She would let me take pictures of the window treatments and the little things she had done by gathering stuff from the goodwill that she'd found and putting it together. So I would take pictures through her house and she'd show me how to make it, how she did it. Not a big deal. Priscilla, if you have a bunch of people coming over and you need to feed everybody, but you don't have a lot of time to do it or a lot of money to do it. Here, take a picture of these three recipe cards. This is what you do.
A
Wow.
B
So this woman just sort of walked me through. Oh, she even let me. She invited me over as a guest overnight and I Stayed at her house several times. But this one time in particular, the reason was because she wanted me to see what it was to be the guest and what she would do when people stayed in her home.
A
Wow. Yes. That's so cool.
B
I know. So I got to just be on the receiving end. And so many things that I experienced that weekend that were mind blowing to me, like she would come down and put two little muffins and a little candle and a little good morning card just right outside the door before the person woke up. So that in the morning you walk outside the door and there's just two little muffins there and good morning and a little candle burning. Little teeny things that were small, but when you're the guest, it's huge. You know what I mean? And so, because she let me absorb that, so many of those things I've just incorporated into our home experience. And as a young wife, trying to figure all that out. To have someone 20 years your senior that says, oh, come here, it's okay, let me show you.
A
Yeah.
B
Huge deal. That's discipleship.
A
Yes.
B
That's mentoring at its finest.
A
That really is.
B
Yeah.
A
I love that. I, Yeah, I just want to encourage everyone to. That's something that you're seeking or you're a curious person. Don't be afraid to ask.
B
Ask.
A
I bet Priscilla, we might be getting a lot of people asking us. Yes. You might be listening. You're like, I want Priscilla to mentor me. I would like Candice to mentor me. We might get a lot of requests. But, you know, I do like to pick and choose people and it's usually someone I know or their. Feels like that's in my sphere.
B
Right.
A
That I can, I can do that with. But that's, it's really important. And as I, I get older, I just, you know, the Bible tells us that the older women should mentor the, the younger women.
B
That's important to me.
A
I'm of that age. So I get to, I get to disciple.
B
Yeah. It's a big deal.
A
Younger women. And I love that.
B
And I love you encouraging people to look right around you. Like, seriously, ask the Lord, who's in my sphere that you've already put in front of me and I have not noticed, they're the ones that have something of value to offer. And not only that, but Lord, open up my eyes to see what I have to offer. Because at any point in your journey, you are both Elijah and Elisha.
A
Yes, exactly.
B
You know, you're both. That there's. We always need somebody pouring into us. But there is someone that's coming up along side of you or underneath you in age or in maturity level or they just are starting a process. You're a little bit down the road in relationally or financially or whatever. You have something that to you seems like no big deal. Maybe because you've done it for so long or it's just been a part of your life for so long, you don't see the val. You don't see that everybody doesn't have that. They have no idea. Like, even a few moments ago, you were talking about Christmas traditions and you just casually said, you know, it's no big deal because a lot of people probably do this and some people probably do, but there are so many that even just you sharing that tradition sparked in them an idea that they never considered because their life didn't offer them an opportunity to see that play out.
A
Yeah.
B
But we always take casual. The things that are right part of our story. We think, oh, everybody does this. Yeah, everybody knows this. And the truth is they actually don't. There's somebody around you who would love for you to share that very simple thing with them that will be life changing for them.
A
Hey, parents. Are you looking for a fun way to teach your kids good and wholesome values? Well, check out Generous Kids Book Club. You can subscribe monthly to get our beautiful hardcover book plus stickers and activities. Or you can grab the 10 book bundle. Head to GenerousFamily.com to explore all the options. And I also want to encourage that the. The generation. The generation right above us, our moms. So if, you know, you are in your 70s, 80s, maybe you are a great, A great grandparent or a grandparent, whatever that is. In talking to my mom and dad, you know, sometimes as people age.
B
Yeah.
A
They can feel like they don't have purpose anymore, which breaks my heart. Yeah. Talk about that a lot. It. But that it hurts me in conversation because I. I know that the world doesn't value.
B
Yeah.
A
The wisdom of age. Of age. And so I also want to encourage you listening that we need everyone. So I'm like, if you're thinking I'm almost 80 years old, I. What do I have to offer? I'm like, you have so much. Please, please, please. Because I still want to be mentor, but I think of my mom with my daughter, you know, grandma mentoring her granddaughter. It's so important. Yeah. So absolutely. Like never too late to be a mentor. I thought we would take the next a little bit and answer listener questions and just a couple A couple more than we normally do. Because while I have you here, Priscilla, I just want everyone to glean as much wisdom as possible. So. And because we get thousands of emails, I want to try to get through as many as we can. So this one's from. This one is from. Let's see, this one's from Tammy. She asks, how do you gain emotional intimacy in your marriage? What does it look like for you? How do you start to grow this when you've never had an example in your upbringing? I want to know this to learn it for my kids and my grandkids one day. So emotional intimacy in your marriage.
B
Yeah. And that, you know, before I can even think of an answer, sometimes that a question like that begs a question to me. Has trust been broken? Has emotional intimacy been broken in some way that is now requiring it to be rebuilt? Or you just mean in a natural sense, building that connection. So in any case, as we are spending this episode talking about mentorship, that's the first thing that comes to my mind is that you need to ask the Lord to give you a couple that have done well at that, that you see them connected to one another in a very. You know, you can see the markings of emotional connection when people look at each other and there's endearment on their face towards one another or just in their body language with one another, or the little whispers to one another and the giggles between the two of them. When you see good rapport and relationship in a husband and wife, that's your cue. Talk to them about how did they build that? Was it natural? Or did they have to overcome some of their own histories and personal issues in order to restore that? So mentoring would be huge in that. And then, you know, because I have boys, this probably is not the same for girl parents, but with boys, you know, I had to stir conversation because with boys it's like, how was your day today? What happened? They're like, it's fine.
A
Right? Yeah.
B
So long time ago we bought conversation starters, like from cards.
A
Right, the cards. Yeah, those are great.
B
Just sit them on the table and literally one of the things we would do at dinner is everybody's picking one and we're all answering these questions with more than one word. And it, it would start conversation. And I think that could be a helpful tool for emotional intimacy. I'm sure there are either cards out there that facilitate that specifically, or again, a therapist that can give you actual questions that will help, that are open ended, intentional questions designed to dig into the heart of your partner. And ask them questions that bubble up answers they didn't even know were there, about their fears or about their excitement towards the future, their thoughts about just things that allow you to know your partner and for you to learn to listen without judgment, without taking their answering time to prepare your response, but just absorbing what it is that your partner is saying and for them to see what it looks like to feel the value of you truly listening and leaning into them and vice versa.
A
Yeah.
B
So those are two things that come about.
A
That's so good. One thing that helped me and Val, and again, we had talked to a counselor, and he had given us, like, the 5, 5, 10 rule. Do you know that I don't tell me. It's like one. The first person gets five minutes to talk. And this. This was at home. This wasn't in front of the counselor. This is just between me and Val. So Val would start, and he has five minutes to talk, and I cannot say anything. I have to listen for five minutes, and he gets to tell me whatever he wants to tell me. Now, he could share his day with me. He could tell me things that are on his mind, what's bothering him, whatever he wants to use it for. But I can't talk, which means I can't get defensive and say, but, well, you know, I can't do that. I have to listen. And then the next five is now I get to spend five minutes and talk. And I could either, you know, have my rebuttal and say what I. I want to answer him, or I can spend that five minutes to then say, well, here. Here's what I'd like to talk through. Because I would like to. This is how I'm feeling. This is. These are the, you know, places in my life that. Where I'd like us to get better. And then. And he can't talk through it. And then we have the 10 minutes after to then talk together. Yeah, if we want. And if we don't want, we don't have to use that 10 minutes either. But the exercise of that first five and five are huge. And obviously, you have to have a willing partner. I think that's always the hardest part.
B
That's right.
A
Is when one partner isn't willing to be emotionally available. But things like that. That tool. Because again, if you're not. If it's not all about complaining, like, this is what you did wrong, but you use it as a place of saying, hey, you know, I would like. I would like to see us be more emotionally connected or share more things in our Day or. I'd like to feel like you've listened to me, you know, always. It's like kind of a therapist rule. It's like when you put it in first person and talk about yourself, like, I would like to be more emotionally available with you instead of. You're never emotionally available. You never talk to me about this. You don't open that. You know, then it puts someone on the defense. But when you say, I would like to be able to share this with you, and I want. I hope that. I want you to be. Feel like. I want to feel like you've listened to me.
B
Yeah.
A
And I would like to know genuinely how you're feeling, and I hope that you would share that with me. I mean, it's ways in which you. In your language. Yeah. Anyway, hopefully those are helpful things, Tammy. Okay, this one's from Addison. She says, hey, my grandma just passed and I have had a hard time grieving. So, Priscilla, I think you. You have some. A lot of experience with this. Do you have any advice on how to recover or allow yourself to grieve?
B
Oh, my goodness. The end of your question. Not. Tammy, this question is from Addison. Addison. The end of Addison's question was actually my answer, which is to allow yourself space and margin to feel whatever you're feeling. I think that is the hardest thing about grief sometimes, is that grief manifests itself very differently for people. It's been very interesting for me, for example, that the main way grief has shown up in my life is through just a lack of motivation, just a general lethargy, not necessarily in sobbing and tears and depression, but a lack of that engine for productivity.
A
Yeah.
B
It's been going on for quite a while. And as I've talked to the Lord about that, and I mean, across the board about work, about ministry, about just. I just have felt kind of like not motivated. I'm not used to that. And as I've talked to the Lord about that, even spending time with the Lord, just not that engine for a whole year, my devotional time, when I would take a walk, take a walk, like an hour every day, because I love walking. And part of that walk would be listening to. There's this great podcast where they read the Bible through in a year. Truth's Table is the name of the podcast. And they did a Bible reading through in the year. And every day I just listened to that, whatever the references were that day. And that was my Bible reading, because I couldn't even. I wasn't even motivated to, like, open up the Bible as I. Yeah, kind of usually would for devotions or go through a Bible study or a devotional. I wasn't really absorbing it the way that I used to. So for a whole year, I just didn't do that. I listened to the Bible being read and I felt weird. It's all I can describe it. It didn't feel like myself. I felt weird. And as I talked to the Lord about it, I just kind of felt the assurance that Priscilla, like, my grace is sufficient even for this. Like, rest here, relax here. Don't hurry through this. Try to get back to being productive and motivated and doing all the things. Just go ahead and rest here. There are the buddings of things starting in this season, if you'll just relax in it, that you won't see the fruit of until two or three or four years from now. But if you race through this grief process and not allow yourself to just be in what you're in, and trust me with it, you're going to abort a lot of things that I'm trying to produce in you that deep down in the soul level, underneath the soil, if you don't just rest here. So that would be my encouragement, Addison, is just. Whatever however grief is manifesting itself in your life, allow it, just let it be and trust God with it that his grace is sufficient for even that.
A
Yeah, that's good. Thank you. This is from Jackie. Who do you turn to when your own family isn't there for you?
B
Me personally or just like a general question?
A
I think a general, general question. I mean. Yeah. Who do you turn to when you don't have a family that you're close to that isn't there for you? I mean, I would just say that's. That's where community comes in. It's community. And I don't know if that's your church family, if you have a church family, if that's your friends, but.
B
I.
A
Mean, that's where we would naturally go to. But I want, like, for you, Jackie, I want to make sure that you have trusted community.
B
Yes.
A
That's giving you good advice and solid advice. It's so important to choose friendships that are beneficial and. And also reciprocated in that way. Yeah, Yeah, I would say that. You know, I don't know if there's extended family or there, but that's what the body of. The body of Christ is supposed to be. So go. Go for it.
B
I mean, well, this is, to me, one of the main reasons why online church is not supposed to be the entire crux of your relationship with the church. Yeah, receive. But you miss out on the relational aspect of what church was designed to be. In the Book of Acts, when the church is first born, it's about fellowship. That's the whole point is community and connection and breaking bread together and stirring up one another and encouraging each other and being there for each other and all of that. That was the whole point of it.
A
Right.
B
And the encouragement that you need when life is happening, you cannot really get when you're sitting at home on your couch listening to the best sermon. But you're going to need some people to walk that sermon out in your life the next day on Monday and on Tuesday. So particularly, you know, I'm aging us again. But for the younger among us who have, you know, in our technologically advanced age, have the beautiful benefit of online ministry and church. Wonderful. Absorb all that. Listen to all the great teaching that you want to. And also be planted in a local body of believers where you are not just there to receive. You are there because God has given you gifts that you're supposed to be sowing into that body. They need you. You're not just there to get, you're there to give. In fact, part of the outworking of God's will in your life and reaching your Our potential comes from us becoming aware of our gifts because there are needs in the body in which he's planted us. We don't even know half the stuff he's going to equip us to do till we're in a body where there's a need and we're the Holy Spirit makes us aware of the need and then he makes us aware we're the. We got it. We've got the gift that he's equipped us for. For that we start coming into our purpose because we're in the local church and part of that purpose is attached to people that there's a person there. We don't even know they're our assignment and we're their assignment. We don't even know they're going to be lifelong friends. We're going to raise kids together. We're going to get married around the same time and be the couples that grow together for 50 years. We don't even know our grandkids are going to be playing with each other decades from now. You don't know that when you're starting to build community. But then these become lifelong God partnerships.
A
Yeah.
B
In family and in business and all these layers. And you have people that you're connected to in heart and mind, soul that you can do life with. So I would just encourage her and all of us to be planted.
A
Yes.
B
In the church.
A
I agree. Okay, we're going to do one more before we wrap it up. This is from Amanda, and she says, I've grown up in the church and I am firm in my faith, but one thing I struggle with is how to talk to my family and friends about Jesus, especially those who live in, you know, the world without coming across as pushy or judgy. Any tips? This is Evangelism 101.
B
Yes, it is. You know, the first thing that comes to my mind really, is putting the responsibility of that back onto the Lord's shoulders.
A
I love that answer. Yeah.
B
Just like, lord, would you give me organic opportunities that I do not manufacture?
A
I love that.
B
Yeah. There's a question that they want answered, that even if it's a. A question born out of skepticism, that they're kind of snarky when they ask it or sarcastic, but it's a question they ask, or it's a need that they have, or it's something they see about my life that they're intrigued by. Anything, it doesn't matter. Something they saw on tv. You know, it's just something that opens the door. And then in the Gospels, I think it's in Matthew, it's like, do not worry what you are to say, but in that moment, the Holy Spirit will give you the words.
A
Yeah.
B
To communicate and trust the Lord with that.
A
Yeah. Yeah, I. I love that. And I would also say that let Jesus shine on your face and in your speech and in the way you carry yourself, in the way you, you know, you walk and talk, because in that, you can share Jesus again without trying. Like you said, in the way that in intentional, in. In conversation, if. If there's just a conversation, and you say, like, I was praying about this. Well, maybe they're not people of prayer, but you've now just said, like, well, I was praying about God working on this in my life. And that's just your own natural conversation. So you're not pushing it on them. Right. But you're talking, and they know that that's important to you, and there will be so many opportunities, because I know with my friends that don't share my faith with me yet, when there's times of struggle or hardship, I'm often one of the first people they'll reach out to and say, would you pray for me? Yeah, Things like that. So I'm like, it's just like, be who you are. In Christ. Don't hide it because someone else doesn't share the your Christian faith with you. Don't be afraid of using, I call it Christianese, a Christian language. I mean, not to like talk above and beyond, but don't be afraid to express those things in your life because I don't know, I just find that often people kind of like a magnet, they, they become a little bit like, hey, I like that there's a piece about them or a love about them, a joy about them. So that would be my suggestion too. Okay. Well, that was great. I love getting to answer through some of those questions. And next week is going to be our last week together.
B
Unbelievable.
A
Yeah. This has been so much fun. Hey guys. We have a free gift for you this season. It's the personal prayer guide. And we really hope that it encourages you to affirm and pray for your family and your friends. Anyone that is important to you. The link is@candice.com it's in our show notes. There's also a link to Priscilla's book I Surrender all. And you can always write your questions at candice.
B
Com.
A
Until next time. Be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment all rights reserved.
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast Episode: Priscilla Shirer - Taking Discipleship Deeper: How Do You Find a Mentor? Release Date: January 21, 2025
The episode kicks off with Candace Cameron Bure (Speaker A) welcoming Priscilla Shirer (Speaker B) to season eight of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast. They emphasize the theme that "life is like a rollercoaster, but it's better when we go through it together," setting the stage for an in-depth discussion on mentorship and discipleship.
Candace introduces the episode’s focus on discipleship, particularly exploring how to find and cultivate meaningful mentor relationships. She highlights that mentorship isn’t confined to any age, suggesting that both young adults and individuals at different life stages can benefit from having mentors.
Priscilla draws a parallel from the Old Testament, referencing the relationship between Elijah and Elisha (03:30). She explains:
“Elijah literally goes and finds Elisha. It’s almost like the responsibility is on him to go look for an Elisha, and he's looking for a guy that's already working. So when he spots Elisha, Elisha is plowing a field... He's doing what’s in front of him to do.”
This example underscores the proactive nature required in mentorship, emphasizing that seeking a mentor involves recognizing and valuing the industriousness and resourcefulness of potential mentors.
Candace shares her personal experience with Maria, a successful television personality in her church. At a pivotal moment when Candace was 16 and contemplating a career in broadcast journalism, Maria played a crucial role by:
Candace reflects on the enduring relationship, stating:
“She was instrumental in... turning the tide of my life... and she was instrumental in that.”
Candace discusses her friendship with Chalene, a bold advocate for Jesus who mentored her during her teenage years. Chalene’s approach included:
Candace emphasizes the profound influence Chalene had, not just on her faith journey but also on her personal growth.
Priscilla recounts her relationship with Tammy Maltby, a spectacular homemaker and family friend. Tammy’s mentorship involved:
Priscilla highlights how Tammy’s small gestures, like leaving muffins and candles for guests, deeply impacted her approach to homemaking and hospitality.
Priscilla emphasizes the importance of being proactive in seeking mentorship. Key takeaways include:
Recognize Potential Mentors: Look for individuals excelling in areas you wish to grow, whether in faith, marriage, business, or personal integrity.
Seek Divine Guidance: Pray for discernment to recognize mentors within your existing community, such as your local church.
Approach Respectfully: Start with simple questions or requests, and be open to how the potential mentor can accommodate your needs, even if it begins with small steps like answering a few questions via email.
Priscilla advises that mentorship is a two-way street, where both mentor and mentee can learn and grow from each other’s experiences.
Question from Tammy: “How do you gain emotional intimacy in your marriage? What does it look like for you?”
Priscilla responds by suggesting:
Seek Godly Couples: Observe and learn from couples who exhibit strong emotional connections through their body language and interactions.
Intentional Conversations: Utilize tools like conversation starter cards or adopt the 5-5-10 rule, where each partner has dedicated time to share without interruption, fostering deeper understanding and connection.
Candace adds the importance of framing discussions in the first person to avoid defensiveness, promoting a healthier dialogue focused on personal feelings and desires.
Question from Addison: “My grandma just passed and I have had a hard time grieving. Do you have any advice on how to recover or allow yourself to grieve?”
Priscilla advises:
Allow Yourself to Feel: Embrace the emotions that come with grief without rushing the healing process.
Trust in God's Grace: Rely on spiritual strength, allowing God the space to work through your grief at His pace.
Engage in Spiritual Practices: Even when lacking motivation, continue to connect with God through simple acts like listening to Bible podcasts or taking walks with devotional content.
Question from Jackie: “Who do you turn to when your own family isn't there for you?”
Priscilla emphasizes the importance of:
Community Engagement: Build relationships within your church and local community where mutual support and encouragement are foundational.
Active Participation: Contribute your gifts to the community, fostering meaningful connections and finding your purpose through service.
Candace reinforces that being part of a community is essential for emotional and spiritual support, highlighting the role of local churches in nurturing lifelong friendships and support systems.
Question from Amanda: “I struggle with how to talk to my family and friends about Jesus without coming across as pushy or judgmental. Any tips?”
Priscilla advises:
Rely on the Lord: Trust God to provide natural and organic opportunities to share your faith without forcing conversations. As she states:
“Do not worry about what you are to say... the Holy Spirit will give you the words” (34:01).
Authentic Living: Let your actions and demeanor reflect your faith, making it easier for others to be curious and open to conversations about Jesus.
Seize Natural Opportunities: Be receptive to moments when others show interest or vulnerability, using those times to share your faith authentically.
Candace adds that embodying your faith naturally can attract others, creating opportunities for meaningful and non-intrusive evangelism.
Candace and Priscilla wrap up the episode by offering listeners valuable resources:
Free Gift: A personal prayer guide available at candice.com.
Recommended Reading: Priscilla’s book, I Surrender All.
Engagement: Encourage listeners to submit their questions for future episodes.
Candace closes with an uplifting message:
“Be grateful all day, every day.”
Candace on Mentorship:
“It's always important to have mentors for my life.” (02:11)
Priscilla on Elijah and Elisha:
“Elijah notices that and then says, let's walk together. You're worth investing in.” (03:30)
Candace on Personal Growth:
“She was instrumental in... turning the tide of my life... and she was instrumental in that.” (07:53)
Priscilla on Emotional Intimacy:
“Huge deal. That's discipleship. That's mentoring at its finest.” (16:12)
Priscilla on Evangelism:
“Do not worry about what you are to say... the Holy Spirit will give you the words.” (34:01)
In this enriching episode, Candace Cameron Bure and Priscilla Shirer delve deep into the essence of mentorship and discipleship, drawing from biblical examples and personal experiences. They provide actionable insights on seeking mentors, building emotional intimacy in relationships, coping with grief, fostering community, and sharing one’s faith authentically. Through heartfelt conversations and practical advice, listeners are encouraged to embrace mentorship as a vital component of their spiritual and personal growth journeys.
For more information and resources mentioned in this episode, visit candice.com.